I write this as I am being whisked away from Pinelandian airspace in a helicopter piloted by a manatee.

My 24 hour Facebook ban is over. Luckily Big Brother was there to protect us from such dangerous violations of community standards as pretending to be one imaginary country while talking trash about another completely imaginary country.

Though if you look on Facebook, my fans went nuts and had a lot of fun with it. They divided into camps, Krasnovians vs. Pinelanders and there were SO MANY MEMES. #FreeLarry was trending. My wife organized a benefit concert. And my daughter started telling the story of what I’m pretty sure was Free Willy.  Other brave Krasnovians earned bans for telling the truth about the evils of Pinelandia.  We will eat sandwiches in your honor, brothers.

When you get FB banned you can still read it, you just can’t post. So I kept up on the silliness. I’m glad you guys had a good time.

Of the hundreds of #FreeLarry posts I only saw one lone idiot saying that Facebook was correct in its Orewelling, because though I had been representing an imaginary country (and since we are best known for sandwiches and genocide,then obviously I’m playing the good guy imaginary country), and I was insulting the imaginary people of an imaginary country, I still used a REAL ethnic slur, and thus earned my banning.

I was so perplexed by this comment that I went and reread the thread that got me banned. And he could only be talking about my reference to “Goat Rapists”… So if that’s an ethnic slur, I’m not sure how, because it’s not like Pinelandia has a worldwide monopoly on the practice, so I would be really curious which group of people this bright individual reflexively thinks of when he hears Goat Rapists. Because really, that would say a lot more about him than about me.

(well, and Pine Land is in North Carolina, so there’s that too)

At least it’s not like I used a really serious specific slur, like Fredo.

I can only hope that this issue does not further flame tensions between our two nations. I would hate for there to be a repeat of the Atropia incident.

So I just got a 24 hour ban from Facebook for Violating Community Standards, because I insulted the imaginary people of an imaginary country.  Which is kinda hilarious.

Long version. About a year ago an author friend of mine was putting up snippets of his alternative history story, in which the fictional country (Neu Saxony) experienced a terrorist attack.  One guy thought it was real, and a whole bunch of us ended up having fun arguing on behalf of our made up countries about who was really responsible.  It was pretty funny.

I ,of course, came to the aid of noble Krasnovia, a nation of peaceful sandwich makers, who were being falsely accused of these heinous crimes.  (We were obviously framed)

So a year later the memory reminder thing on FB is bringing this back up. Another friend of mine created this post:

Remember your brothers killed by Krasnovians. #OnlyGoodKrasnovianIsADeadKrasnovian

Now let me share with you the silliness which ensued, which resulted in my terrible violation of community standards.

• Eudyptes Diabolicus: the media never warns people about the krasnovian menace. I think they’ve been corrupted
• Jarrad E Truog: Eudyptes Diabolicus collusion
• Larry Correia: I am disgusted by your Krasnoviphobia.
• Jarrad E Truog: Larry Correia look man you weren’t there when the Horde cut down my men
• Eudyptes Diabolicus:  It’s not a phobia. It’s rational caution
• Larry Correia: Krasnovians are a proud people, known for their fine sandwiches, and genocide, but mostly the sandwiches.
• Cathe Smith:  If only they could approach the genocide with the same careful attention to detail that they approach sandwich making.
• Jarrade E Truog:  Larry Correia I didn’t think we had a Krasnovian Apologist here.
• Larry Correia:  I’m a member KAIR. Krasnovian American I something Relations.
• Jarrad E Truog:  I knew it.
• Cathe Smith: Krasnovian American Interfellowship Relations
• Jarrad E Truog:  The Neu Saxony princess was murdered by Krasnovian Separatists #NeuSaxonyStrong
• Larry Correia: That’s a conspiracy theory! There were Krasnovian immigrant members of the brave Uhlans lost that terrible day.
• Eudyptes Diabolicus: suicide assassins don’t get to be counted as “lost”
• CJ Hyatt: As a card carrying Mojavian, Krasnovia can ETADIK.
• Jarrad E Truog: LOL
• Harman Meyerhoff: Free Nogovia!
• Larry Correia: It’s sad, just because you invade a country and genocide a bunch of Pinelandians one time, everybody forgets about all the wonderful things Krasnovians have given to the world… like the waffle maker, or… uh… well, several different AK-47 variants.
• Jarrad E Truog:  I mean they are Communists so are they really people?
• Cathe Smith: Admittedly, the use of a waffle maker in perpetuating a genocide was a new spin on things.
• Larry Correia: Indeed, those Pinelandian dogs never saw that coming! HA HA! Oh, wait… err… I mean, that was a tragic misunderstanding over a border incident, in which the peaceful Krasnovians were unjustly attacked.

• Eudyptes Diabolicus: Just because those pinelandian scum are scum doesn’t excuse krasnovian aggression
• Cathe Smith: The Pinelandians aggressively planted Pinelandian pine trees on Krasnovian soil.
• Larry Correia: It wasn’t aggression. It was self defense! Our column of T-80s were just minding their own business when set upon by savage Pinelandian villagers.
• Jarrad E Truog: Were they minding their own business in Pinelandia?

And my comment which got deleted for violating community standards…

• Larry Correia: It was a “disputed” area, originally settled by peaceful Krasnovian sandwich makers, and then invaded and occupied by filthy Pinelandian goat rapists.

 

##

So there you go. I’m banned from Facebook for 24 hours. Rest easy everyone, Mark Zuckerberg is on the case! Facebook will not tolerate satirical posts about a bunch of genocidal sandwich makers saying cruel things about people from an imaginary country.

I will admit, when I saw the ban window pop up for my cruel attack on Pinelandians, it was the best laugh I’ve had in a while. 😀

They announced the finalists for the 2019 Dragon Awards while I was on book tour. I just got home last night so this is my first chance to actually have a minute to talk about it.

Participation is free and open to all fans. Anybody can go vote for their favorite books of the year here: https://www.dragoncon.org/awards/

I’m a finalist again this year, which is kind of funny because I believe that every time I talked about the Dragons I specifically told my fans I’ve already won before, so share the love and nominate somebody else. But I’ve got the most libertarian and oppositionally defiant reader base in the world, so they just said YOU ARE NOT MY SUPERVISOR AM I BEING DETAINED and did what they wanted anyway.

I am honored that House of Assassins is a finalist. You guys rock. There’s a bunch of other amazing authors in a whole bunch of categories, from authors that I love. I’m not going to say who I’m voting for (and it wouldn’t matter because y’all are just gonna do what you want anyway!).

One awesome thing about the Dragon Awards is that they are an actual popularity contest for all of fandom. They want authors to spread the word and get their fans excited. DragonCon wants as many fans as possible involved and participating. So please tell your friends. They aren’t an elitist clique, and one look at this list of nominees demonstrates that they are actually inclusive, with big names, new names, large publishing houses, small houses, indy, and everything in between.

I’ve already seen where some of the usual suspects in the never ending culture war are flipping out about these nominations, because unlike certain other awards that have degenerated into a lame social club for like-minded high school mean girls, the Dragon noms include authors with all sorts of differing political beliefs. I think that’s fantastic. The Dragon doesn’t give a crap about politics. The Dragon is all about what makes fans happy, not rewarding politics.  This of course really upsets the denizens of a certain website which I like to think of as Fandom’s Prolapsed Anus, which is run by a scumbag who is basically the living avatar of hepatitis in (sorta) human form, and they are very very upset, tsk, tsk.

So that’s a happy bonus!

A bunch of my friends are up for awards (many of them competing against each other!) so I want to congratulate them. Brad, Aaron, Mark, Jason, Nick, Jason, David, Kacey, Chris, and sorry if I missed anyone. You guys rock. Congratulations. You are there because you entertained your fans, and that’s the best thing in the world.

Sadly, I’m not going to be able to attend DragonCon this year. I was there last year, and I love Dragon, but because of building the house and moving I am way behind where I need to be with the writing. I’m trying to finish two books before the end of the year. I’ll see you there next year.

      2019 Dragon Award Ballot

Best Science Fiction Novel 
A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
A Star-Wheeled Sky by Brad R. Torgersen
Europe at Dawn by Dave Hutchinson
Record of a Spaceborn Few by Becky Chambers
Red Moon by Kim Stanley Robinson
Tiamat’s Wrath by James S.A. Corey

Best Fantasy Novel (Including Paranormal) 
Deep Roots by Ruthanna Emrys
Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett
House of Assassins by Larry Correia
Lies Sleeping by Ben Aaronovitch
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

Best Young Adult / Middle Grade Novel 
Archenemies by Marissa Meyer
Armageddon Girls by Aaron Michael Ritchey
Bloodwitch by Susan Dennard
Imposters by Scott Westerfeld
Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand
The King’s Regret by Philip Ligon
The Pioneer by Bridget Tyler

Best Military Science Fiction or Fantasy Novel 
A Pale Dawn by Chris Kennedy, Mark Wandrey
Order of the Centurion by Jason Anspach, Nick Cole
Marine by Joshua Dalzelle
Sons of the Lion by Jason Cordova
The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley
Uncompromising Honor by David Weber

Best Alternate History Novel 
Black Chamber by S.M. Stirling
Machines Like Me by Ian McEwan
The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal
The Iron Codex by David Mack
The World Asunder by Kacey Ezell
Unholy Land by Lavie Tidhar

Best Media Tie-In Novel 
Big Damn Hero by James Lovegrove, Nancy Holder
Darkness on the Edge of Town by Adam Christopher
Master & Apprentice by Claudia Gray
The Replicant War by Chris Kennedy
The Way to the Stars by Una McCormack
Thrawn: Alliances by Timothy Zahn

Best Horror Novel 
Cardinal Black by Robert McCammon
Little Darlings by Melanie Golding
Riddance by Shelley Jackson
We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix
Zombie Airman by David Guenther
100 Fathoms Below by Steven L. Kent, Nicholas Kaufmann

Best Comic Book 
Batman by Tom King, Tony S. Daniel
Black Hammer by Jeff Lemire, Dean Ormston, Dave Stewart
Mister Miracle by Tom King, Tony Daniel
Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man by Chip Zdarsky, Adam Kubert
Saga by Brian K. Vaughan, Fiona Staples
The Batman Who Laughs by Scott Snyder, Mark Simpson

Best Graphic Novel 
Berlin by Jason Lutes
Hey, Kiddo by Jarret J. Krosoczka
I Am Young by M. Dean
Monstress Vol. 3 by Marjorie Liu, Sana Takeda
On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden
X-Men: Grand Design – Second Genesis by Ed Piskor

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy TV Series
Game of Thrones, HBO
Good Omens, Amazon Prime
Lucifer, Netflix
The Orville, Fox
The Umbrella Academy, Netflix
Star Trek: Discovery, CBS All Access

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Movie 
Alita: Battle Angel by Robert Rodriguez
Aquaman by James Wan
Avengers: Endgame by Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Captain Marvel by Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck
Spider-Man: Far From Home by Jon Watts
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy PC / Console Game 
Apex Legends by Electronic Arts
Assassin’s Creed: Odysssey by Ubisoft
Life is Strange 2 by Dontnod Entertainment
Red Dead Redemption 2 by Rockstar Games
Outer Wilds by Mobius Digital
World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth by Blizzard

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Mobile Game
Cyber Hunter by NetEase
Elder Scrolls: Blades by Bethesda Softworks
Grimvalor by Direlight
Harry Potter: Wizards Unite by Niantic, WB Games San Francisco
Reigns: Game of Thrones by Nerial
Sega Heroes: Puzzle RPG Quest by SEGA

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Board Game 
Architects of the West Kingdom by Garphill Games
Betrayal Legacy by Avalon Hill Games
Cryptid by Osprey Games
Everdell by Starling Games (II)
Nemesis by Awaken Realms
Root by Leder Games

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Miniatures / Collectible Card / Role-Playing Game
Call of Cthulhu: Masks of Nyarlathotep Slipcase Set by Chaosium Inc.
Fallout: Wasteland Warfare by Modiphius Entertainment
Keyforge: Call of the Archons by Fantasy Flight Games
Magic: The Gathering Ravnica Allegiance by Wizards of the Coast
Magic: The Gathering War of The Spark by Wizards of the Coast
Warhammer 40,000: Kill Team by Games Workshop

Not only available, but already the #1 bestseller in a bunch of categories.

Monster Hunter Guardian is out this week!