Larry’s been arguing about shooting with people a lot for the last week or so. It’s funny as hell watching them claim ‘he doesn’t understand shooting.’ -Jack
I’m working on a new shooting drill. It’s called the Internet Bad Ass.
Step 1 – Place old washing machine target at 5 yards. (If anyone asks tell them it was at 25 yards)
At the go signal (since there is no timer, just kinda go when you feel like it) draw from your fanny pack and hip fire in the general direction of the washing machine as fast as you can spasmodically jerk the trigger. (Chamber empty optional, but encouraged)
Scoring. It’s all vibes man. The real score is the friends we made along the way. Minus 10 points if you actually pick up your trash. Plus 10 points for every wrongful death lawsuit against you.
Step 2 – When you see strangers having a discussion about shooting on the internet be sure to barge in and yell at them about how bad ass you are.
IMPORTANT SAFETY WARNING – do not record video of you running the Internet Bad Ass drill. Presenting any evidence of your claimed skill is an immediate DQ.
The Prize – you can pretend your father is proud of you for once.
EDIT –
During Step 2 you get ten bonus points if you shout any of the following-
– I qualified expert
– I been shooting my whole life
– It works for me
– anything about “mindset”
BONUS – if those are posted in all caps you get 2X points.
Next new shooting drill: the Mall Ninja.
Step 1 setup is just like the Internet Bad Ass, but it’s performed with a Glock 17L and and five extended 30-round magazines, drawn from “concealment” (a Maxpedition duffel bag), while wearing a plate carrier with double plates duct-taped on the front and back. There is no minimum or maximum round count or time limit.
Scoring is as follows:
– If you miss all of your shots, you score Expert.
– If you hit some of your shots, you score Expert.
– If you hit most of your shots, you score Expert.
– If you hit ALL of your shots, you score Expert (but you’d be the first in history).
– If you felt kinda cool while doing it, you score Master.
– If you felt like an idiot while doing it, you fail but retain the right to tell everyone you scored Master anyway.
Step 2 is the same as Internet Bad Ass, but you have to post anonymously because Mall Ninjas never reveal their real identities due to all the death threats they’d receive from international terrorist governments, stemming from their previous career being a high-speed-low-drag operational operator in operational operations … which they can’t tell you about.
What if you hit a gecko (45)?
I see what you did there. 😀
But where does the tactical wheelbarrow fit in, or the Chihuahua?
so you’d be a certified expert master like Scammy “lll%” Kerodin?
Between Jack and Archer that was quite a good laugh. Does anyone know where these Internet Expert Schools are to be found? I’d like to get me a degree in Bovine Excrement Elucidation.