The Drowning Empire, Episode 58: Last Wills & Testements

The Drowning Empire is a weekly serial based on the events which occured during the Writer Nerd Game Night monthly Legend of the Five Rings game. It is a tale of samurai adventure set in the magical world of Rokugan.

If you would like to read all of these in one convenient place, along with a bunch of additional game related stuff, behind the scenes info, and detailed session recaps, I’ve been posting everything to one thread on the L5R forum,

This week’s episode was written by most of the players, as they were about to go on a ridiculous suicide mission. 

Continued from:



Written the day before the White Tiger Expedition left Second City.
The Last Will and Testament of Akodo Toranaka, Son of Goro
The executor of my will shall be Ikoma Uso-san, as he is my Lion brother. Moto Subotai shall assist him, though I do not wish Subotai-san to expose himself to danger traveling in Lion lands in Rokugan. If neither of them are alive, Suzume Shintaro will take this burden.
The specially balanced and weighted katana and wakizashi my father had made for me, a one armed swordsman, should be returned to him. Some day, a one armed warrior of the Lion clan may have use of them.
Any money that I have to my name shall be used to make copies of my journals and speeches. I would like one copy of them to be given to the Golden Plains dojo. Another copy to my friend, Moto Subotai if he still lives, and one copy to my betrothed, Utaku Yanai.
My horse shall be returned to the stables of the Lion Clan.
My personal possessions shall go to Utaku Yanai.
Please scatter my ashes on the Golden Plains in Rokugan, and pray for my spirit at the oldest Shine of Hachiman.
It is my wish that the Shukan of the Friendly Traveler, Hisao-san shall become a samurai in the Lion Clan under the Akodo name. I have promised him this honor and it must be granted him or my spirit will be unsettled.
If I am able, I shall be reborn a Lion clan samurai. If this does not occur, or if there is a delay before my rebirth, I shall return as a spirit to help guide the warriors of the Lion Clan until the end of the Empire. Only when The Emerald Empire is gone and the ways of Bushido are forgotten will my service be at an end.
If I have fallen in honorable battle, do not grieve for me longer than is custom. To die in battle is a gift to a warrior such as myself. I only pray that my life was taken after the battle was won and I died of my wounds surrounded by the headless bodies of many enemies.
If I have died by an assassination or betrayal, I call upon all of my surviving friends to make careful plans and then annihilate my murderers to last, so that not even their names are remembered. White Tiger mons should be left with the headless bodies of the traitors.
It is also my sincere wish that the White Tigers complete the mission we began. The Dark Oracle of Water and the Destroyers must be stopped and if my life was the cost, I pay it with honor.

Akodo Toranaka

The Last Will of Captain Yoritomo Oki, Son of Yoritomo Okimitsu.

Left in possession of the Mantis ambassador in Second City.

As dictated to and transcribed by the ambassador’s scribe.

“Ok, make sure you write down everything I say… are you writing? I don’t want you to miss a word. Ok, good… here we go! This is the last will of Capta-, excuse me. Admiral! Yoritomo Oki. Tsuruchi trained archer and commander of the Powerful Friendly Traveler Navy. Son of Yoritomo Okimitsu, Captain in the Mantis third fleet, the furious Third Storm.

How did that sound? I think it sounded really good. Let’s continue.
In the event of my death… no no. In the extremely unforeseeable and unlikelyevent of my death, during this heroic and valiant expedition, please ensure my daisho and yumi are returned to my Tsuruchi Archer dojo to be hung on the wall as holy relics… What?… Yes, I mean that… just keep writing.


Excuse me. For my body, please dress me in my armor. Don’t burn me, but still sever my head. Then put on my dark lenses for me then throw me in the ocean… as a sort of ocean burial… I don’t know. Hey, where did I put my sake bottle? Oh, It’s right here… I swear there was more in here earlier…

**unintelligible mumbling and cursing**

Anyway, for my stuff, let’s see… I want half of any koku I still have to be given to my home town Broken Wave city. I want them to use the koku to buy as much sake as they can hold on the island and throw a party, no… a festival in honor of me. With shugenja shooting bolts of fire into the sky and lots of geisha. Yes, definitely manygeisha.


The other half of my koku, I don’t know… just write down that it should be distributed evenly among the leadership group of the White Tigers, but none to Ikoma Uso because I think he still has some of my money… don’t write that part down… why are you smiling? So, do something like that. But If I, of all people,am dead they probably will be too. In that case just give it to my dojo or any remaining family I might have or use it to pay off any, um… unresolved debts I may have accrued.

**Laughter and unintelligible cursing**

Oh, I nearly forgot about my ship, er… fleet! Give any uncollected profits to the ronin in charge, ehhh temporarilyin charge, of myfleet. I like that man. Give my remaining glorious warships to… I don’t know, give ’em to the Mantis navy. They could always use a few more great warships… But not Tonta! I want to be buried with my big and beautiful, Tonta. I do love her… I don’t know how one arranges a sea burial with such a big, **hiccups** but please try. Oh, uh, thecatapult tonta… make sure it says catapult there, that’s important. Really, really important. I think that’s about it… you can stop writing now.”

Uso’s last Will & Testament

First, if you not of the Lion Clan, you should know that I poisoned the ink of this letter. Only the Ikoma family know the antidote, so you are undeniably fucked. Enjoy.


If you are reading this, then I am dead. Hopefully it was a warrior’s death than can be someday turned into an epic.
I have but a few possessions. I was not much of a collector of anything in life, but what I do have must go somewhere:
My daisho and no-dachi will be returned to the Ikoma family. I’m sure my father sired a veritable Fortune’s shit-load of bastards, and one of them (hopefully) is worthy of these items.
My two tantos, knotted rope, garrote, ivory kukri, three ninja-to, destroyer-clawed gloves, ivory dagger, mempo, tea set, white wig, calligraphy set, bag of gaijin pepper, and any other weapons that I have any ancillary claim to should go to Bayushi Maemi…assuming she doesn’t already have them somehow.
My journal diagramming the gaijin firearms, gaijin languages, gaijin war tactics, and gaijin pepper should go to the shogunate (after requisite copies are made by the Ikoma family, of course).
All the coin I stole from Oki should go back to Oki when he’s proved he can handle it.
The packet of letters I have should go to Akodo Toranaka. He is the only one who can make use of the information I have there, and it is of the utmost importance to the Empire that he, and he alone (again, after requisite copies are made, and assuming Maemi hasn’t already stolen them) receives them.
Also, please warn my descendants that I’m likely to be a very bad ancestor. It runs in the family.


To be continued next week: 

Who is going to GenCon?
Kaiju Rising in Audiobook!

One thought on “The Drowning Empire, Episode 58: Last Wills & Testements”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *