Give the gift of tetsubo this Christmas

What do you get for the hard to shop for man in your life? Out of ideas?

How about a samurai war club?

Because nothing says Christmas like a 14 pound stick that could brain a walrus.

For perspective on this club, keep in mind that I am six foot five. That is one big honking stick.

This is what my kids got me. It is completely impractical. It is ridiculously huge. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.  It is totally awesome.  🙂 

Somebody on Facebook called it “bedazzled lumber”. Indeed. Iron Guard Toru tried to kill Jake Sullivan with one of these in TGC: Spellbound. (only his was made out of steel and weighed 80 pounds, but I don’t have super powers, so I’ll stick with wood).  I’m hard to shop for, so massive props to my children for thinking outside the box.

Cover of the Monster Hunters omnibus edition
My favorite short story of all time, FREE today. Tabloid Reporter to the Stars

38 thoughts on “Give the gift of tetsubo this Christmas”

  1. Dang. Your kids got that for you? You, sir, are one lucky father! I got a couple of Tshirts (“Come to the dark side, we have cookies!” and “Firefly”), a couple of 5-packs of stripper clips for my Mosin (now need ammo to fill them, and a trip to the range), and various other bits and pieces. A tetsubo, though….man, that’s frikkin SWEET!!!

  2. You should post that picture next to all your book stands with a one word caption “Buy” and a little green arrow pointing at them >.<

  3. America!

    Heck, even if we have craftmen doing this stuffs (not too hard if you pour money into), polices and local female organization will freak. The few swords and Daos they barter around was stored, not displayed.

  4. You know the old adage about “speak softly and carry a big stick”? What that thing you don’t have to say a damn word…

  5. “…so massive props to my children for thinking outside the box.”

    When you said “massive props” I thought you meant the tetsubo, because that is one massive prop. But I figured out what you really meant. Your kids are great!

  6. I do hope your new house is wired for video as any attempt at a home invasion(God forbid) would be a youtube sensation.

  7. You have no idea what you’re going to do with it? You’re going to Smite the Unholy with the Wrath of Larry, that’s what you’re going to do with it. (Optional: “Wrath of Correia” if you feel that’s more dignified).

  8. Crud, all I got was a gift card. No wife, no kids, no respect. Heck, I’m luckier than a lot of my friends. 😉
    Wise, kids.

  9. Fantastic gift! I want to say the kids hit it out of the park but no one wants to be hit with that thing, including the ball.

    I always hope for a weapon for christmas… no luck yet.

  10. This reminds me of a friend in the Society for Creative Anachronism. After receiving a German Mace, he and a friend were sitting in their apartment hoping that a burglar would show up so they could test it on the burglar.

  11. It looks more like you could brain a rhino with it.

    But I don’t agree that you don’t have superpowers. You have the power to write awesome books dude.

  12. Obviously, you have to go break something with it. Maybe find out what sort of dent you can put in a helmet (not that helmet would help – a 14lb club would break the victim’s neck, helmet or no!).

  13. Officer: “What did you hit the suspect with?”
    Larry: “A tetsubo.”
    Officer: “A what?”
    Larry: “A tetsubo”
    Officer mutters and writes down golf club.
    Larry reads over the officer’s shoulder and says “It wasn’t a golf club.”
    “Would a golf club forcefully remove a man’s head and throw it across the room?”
    Officer: “I guess not.” the officer replied exasperated. “Why couldn’t you have just used a gun?”
    Larry: “New carpets.”

  14. DAMN Larry!
    I got a set of Pintail decoys and a new Kindle!! Want to trade? But Now you have something to keep that pesky Yard Moose problem under control!

  15. Now that is some inspiration for upcoming holidays!
    I am not a tetsubo fan, but now will drop a hint to have my family pick something similar out of the Zombie Tools catalog:

    Those boys just ain’t right…:-)

  16. Heh.

    Jut the ticket when younger boyfriends start to call.

    I ain’t gonna shoot you son, if my daughter is home late tonight.

    I may impale you with this and set you afire on front lawn as a warning to others though.

  17. Larry, you have to get that used as your new book jacket photo. Even better, a life-size cardboard cutout for when new books are released. Caption at the bottom saying something like “Buy X, we want to keep Mr. Corriea smiling.”

  18. You done raised your kids right. Awesome gift. Can we see a Youtube video of you decapitating a Clamps effigy with it? I can see the next fundraiser now – “See Larry Tetsubo-smash things”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.