Joe Biden, the gift that keeps on giving

Joe Biden demonstrates the correct way to administer a prostate exam

Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden is a shining beacon on a hill. In fact, he’s the one thing about the Obama administration that is guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. Whenever I read the news, I can always count on good old Joe to have done something that will make me laugh… usually because he’s such a ****ing nitwit, but hey, when politics suck as much as they do now, I’ll take what I can get.

Keep in mind that this is the same vice president that has done or said something asinine pretty much weekly for the last two years. One of my highest blog traffic days ever was when I went through his speech about how Barack Obama was the bravest president EVAR. There are whole YouTube channels devoted to just stupid things Joe Biden has said. Whether it is about how you can’t go into a Dunkin Donuts without seeing an Indian, or about how remarkable it is that a black man can be articulate and clean, or having a guy in a wheelchair stand up to take a bow, or about how FDR gave speeches on TV, or Doctor Joe teaching us about germs, or how JOBS is a three letter word, or whatever your favorite Bidenism is, he is like the Duracell Bunny of stupid. He’s more reliable than Amtrack. Seriously, if you’ve ever listened to Joe the Biden, he makes George Bush sound like Winston Churchill.

Yet, Joe Biden isn’t mocked on the news… I wonder why? When was the last time CNN dwelled on one of Joe’s flubs? Dan Quayle spelled a word wrong and then didn’t like a particular TV show’s message, so he was ridiculed to death. Dick Cheney had a hunting accident and a bad heart. HILARIOUS! Let’s hear about that on Letterman for the next three years. Let’s not forget however, that those guys are republicans, and thus must be mocked constantly in the media.

Joe Biden does dumb shit daily and you can hear the crickets. Because Joe is a democrat, Joe is invincible. Joe is bulletproof.

Well, it doesn’t really matter if he’s bulletproof, since even Osama Bin Laden didn’t think he was worth assassinating: 

Man, that has to sting. An organization devoted to evil is all like “Joe Biden, meh… whatever.” But then again, Joe Biden has already pointed out that the real terrorists are the Tea Party.

Basically, Osama’s instructions to his minions said, if Joe Biden happens to walk in front of you in the crosswalk, don’t go out of your way to swerve to miss him, but don’t bother to accelerate either.

It is a good thing that Al Queda isn’t interested in Joe Biden, because the Secret Service probably isn’t that motivated to protect him from them either, since he’s been charging them rent:  I know I’d be motivated to take a bullet for a guy that was charging me for the privilege of being willing to take a bullet for him.

And the sad thing about that story was that there was once one of those angry political e-mails going around about how the Clintons supposedly did the same thing to the Secret Service. It wasn’t true. It was a stupid rumor designed to get people charged up because the idea of a politician doing that was so very offensive. (And mentioning the Clintons, it is a sad state of affairs when our current administration is so awful that they make me remember fondly the honesty and integrity of Bill Clinton… wow.  Yeah, ponder on that for a second) Of course, only to Joe Biden can something that started as indignant spam sound like a swell idea!

By the way, if you want to get your friends and neighbors mad about politicians, you really don’t have to stoop to making crap up to e-mail people. Pay attention for a couple of days and there will be plenty of actual reality to fuel your boundless rage. In fact, go look at the “spending cuts” in the new debt ceiling bill. Hint, if you as an individual were in debt up to your eyeballs and spending money in a ratio similar to the US government, and your “spending cuts” were like unto what the Senate just came up with, you would be living in a cardboard box under an overpass inside of six months.

But I don’t let those ugly thoughts get me down. I’ve got Joe Biden to brighten my day.


Dead Six eARC, and an odd request for the Monster Hunter Nation
Trailer for the story I wrote for Crimson Pact 2