I need a Japanese speaker

Is there anyone out there who is fluent in Japanese who would be willing to help me out with something that I’m writing right now? I need a few phrases, and I would like them to be better than the crap the internet translators put out.

And don’t mess with me and give me a bad translation and have the character say something like , “Chicken fish bathroom subway tentacle porn!” or “The man writing this is bald and fat and smells of strange cheeses.”  I will have it verified… By actual ninjas. Who I will then dispatch to your house…. I know people.

Anyway, shoot me an e-mail at monsterhunter45 AT hotmail DOT com if you are fluent in Japanese and you’d be willing to help write a few lines of The Grimnoir Chronicles.

EDIT:  I think we’ve got it.

Omaetachi wa kotei o shitsubou saseta. Watashi no meiyo wa hijyou ni kizu
tsuite. Watashi ga dekiru koto wa, mohaya jiketsu shika nai.

T minus 9 days and counting
General update on stuff:

11 thoughts on “I need a Japanese speaker”

  1. Larry, far be it for me to point out the glaringly obvious, but if you know actual ninjas…couldn’t you get them to translate for you?

    And way to go on increasing the web page ranking by mentioning ‘tentacle porn’…no such thing as bad publicity, they say.

  2. Ninjas don’t do translation work. Don’t even ask. They get offended. When THEY get offended, YOU get a throwing star in the face.

  3. Ryan, that would offend their honor. Trust me I know. I took forever to get the blood stains out of the carpet.

  4. Are you needing literal translations of spoken Japanese or translations of Japanese writings? Or just snappy phrases in Japanese?

  5. Sorry. My knowledge of Japanese pretty much begins and ends with “Banzai!” and “Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.”

    Good luck building a plot point around that. Unless it involves some chubby gaijin who can’t speak Japanese getting a ninja throwing star in the face…

  6. Er, last I checked, Japanese doesn’t have/use commas. Just sayin’.

    Then again, how else you gonna’ denote pauses in speech using mere text?

    Stupid Otaku purists. Gambatte, Correia-san!

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