Gun Sales up ten billion percent

I haven’t posted since right after the election. That’s because every single person in America has decided to go buy an AR15, AK47, or other evil black rifle. Apparently nobody with two brain cells to rub together bought into how Barack is now a friend of the 2nd Amendment.

Sales have been… well… brisk.  Maybe a better word would be insane.

We’ve sold out of everything three times over, and we’re bringing in more guns as fast as we can find them and call in favors. If you’re waiting for something, let’s put this in perspective. I talked to Stag the day before the election and they had received orders for 6,000 rifles in the last few days. They were out 4 weeks, and that was before Barry the Community Organizer assumed his rightful place at the left hand of Satan.

RSR, largest wholesaler of firearms in America has nothing in stock. Nothing. No semi auto 5.56, 7.62×39, or .308 guns. No Kel-Tecs, no Colts, no Bushmasters, no Sigs, no FNs, zip, bupkis. We’re backordering product like crazy and taking orders.

I found 5 DPMS AP4s yesterday and picked them up from a local cop shop. I brought them into the shop around 3:00, put them on the bound book, and the last one was sold by 6:00.  In that same timeframe I sold 2 Sig 556s, a Colt sporter, an Olympic plinker, 2 WASRs, a Golani, an AK made out of railroad ties and plywood by a Pakistani over a campfire from the Khyber Pass, an Airsoft gun, and traded 2 chickens and a bag of rice for a goat. It was a very busy afternoon.

The phone rings constantly. 10 seconds after you put the phone down, it is another person, asking the same question I’ve already answered 6,782,872 times since Tuesday. NO. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO GET BANNED.  Have these people not been paying attention? Did this catch them by surprise?  They’ve only been campaigning for 2 years now. 

Our custom gun wall has become the Barack Obama Memorial Layaway wall as we’re trying to find a place to stash all the guns that have been people put money down on until they get paid again. The only part of the economy that is booming is gun sales, or at least, until Comrade Chairman Obama shuts us all down and we become the FBMG Teddy Bear Hospital and Scented Candle Emporium.

Some folks still make me laugh. I love the guys who call and ask how long it will take to get a DPMS AR10 custom with cryo barrel chambered in .267 Huffalump Magnum.  They get offened when I tell them that I have no earthly idea. Why, yes sir, I’m sure DPMS is just cranking those out in a time when people are selling their organs and children to get a shot at a rusty Kel-Tec SU16 that’s missing its bolt carrier.

People have been calling me, wondering if I have heard anything about their particular backorder. The one problem with that is that I’m now to the point where I’ve got literal tons of stuff on backorder. And the wholesalers and manufacturers are so busy scrambling that they haven’t taken the time to update me on your one particular gun.

I’m hiding in my office for ten minutes while I type this and suck down a beef chimichunga, just waiting for the guys to notice I’m missing and start sending me more phone calls. If you’ve sent me an e-mail, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to check them for a couple of days. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, which right now is looking like probably January…  2012… When we swear in Sarah Palin.

Writing projects update
Well, this sucks...

46 thoughts on “Gun Sales up ten billion percent”

  1. I’m glad I drove down to Versailles KY and bought my tantal when I did, and ordered my ammo when I did. is having a 10-14 BUSINESS DAY delay on order processing.
    Man, if only cars and everything else would sell this well then the economy would be fine.

  2. I can attest to the craziness at FBMG. Larry it was nice to meet you yesterday for the couple seconds you had to spare. I am officially kicking myself over not buying the DPMS I had in my hands when you brought them in. The wife said this morning “you probably should have got that rifle”. Nice timing. 🙁

  3. I got my AR-15 back in 1987. Still have it and lots of ammo. BTW the next term for president begins on Jan. 20, 2013 not 2012. If Comrade Obama were to succumb to the birdf flu or something then Comrade Joe would take over.

  4. The REAL question that should be asked, and to the people who should hear it ten billion times is “Why are you opposed to the tools of self defense?” addressed to whatever incumbent or newly elected party hack you have as a rep.

    After you’re done ordering fire off a letter to the asshats in congress and let them know of your actions to stimulate the economy, and that their job is to GUARD OUR FREEDOMS. Period! Call them every day and tell them that you’re still waiting for all the guns you ordered for the “civilian security force” Obama promised.

    Pretend it’s immigration all over again and shut down the switchboards at any and every office.

  5. Speaking on behalf of all liberals everywhere, I can say that Sarah Palin as president is a way scarier thought than a whole country full of AR15s. I mean, my stepfather is a redneck with an AR15 and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. But Sarah Palin in charge of national security? Hell, I’d rather see some conniving bastard like Karl Rove in the oval office than a dullard. How about, like, Dick Lugar or someone? Can’t you guys get behind Lugar 2012? You could have like Lugers for Lugar signs and stuff. That’d be adorable.

    Also, the bit about the rail tie AK was pretty hilarious.

  6. We’ve also begun taking orders for guns that aren’t on the market yet in this continuum but may be available in other realities. For instance, for $2700, we can get you an FN SCAR-H in .308 from Earth Minus One. We can either ship it to your Negaself over there, or side-ship it to you here. That could take from two weeks to seven million years, depending on a number of factors. There’s a minor twenty-five dollar fee for inter-universe transfers.

    Also, FBMG isn’t jacking up it’s prices like some other asshat dealers in the valley. An AR-15 costs the same today as it did a month ago. We just don’t have any to sell.

  7. Heh, I just put a Saiga-12 on layaway the other day. For whatever reason, A&P Arms in Hampton seems to still have plenty of AWB-fodder left at reasonable prices.

  8. Dave,

    Pax just read a screenplay that I wrote. 🙂

    I’m still waging a crusade against the Giant Space Mollusks and their servants the evil shape-shifting crustacean monsters. You can take the boy out of MHI, but you can’t take MHI out of the boy.

    Todd, dullard? Yeah, keep on believing what they feed you my friend. If you’ll note, the media has been trying to rewrite history by telling us over and over and over again just how badly Sarah Palin hurt McCain, while the Rasmussen poll shows that something like 90% of the people who voted for McCain liked her, which is a higher pecent than those of us who voted for McCain who actually liked McCain.

    Palin’s pretty sharp. Loaded interview with made up questions from uber-journalist Katie Couric aside, she’d do fine. (and as a bonus, she’s not a friggin’ socialist)

    Moot point for 4 years though.

  9. NC wrote, “Also, FBMG isn’t jacking up it’s prices like some other asshat dealers in the valley. An AR-15 costs the same today as it did a month ago. We just don’t have any to sell.”

    Golly, NC; is that all? When my local store doesn’t have any to sell, they’re 20% off.

    I’m just teasing you guys – you’re working your butts off and doing The Right Thing. Good job, stay sane and sleep well tonight.

  10. Larry: Loaded questions like “What news sources do you read” and “Would you like to see Roe v. Wade overturned?” with a followup of “Do you believe in the right to privacy?”

    Palin aside, it’s good to see people stocking up. I still don’t really think it’s going to be necessary, at least not in the short term, but the more good guys with guns the better.

  11. “Have these people not been paying attention? Did this catch them by surprise? They’ve only been campaigning for 2 years now. ”

    Gotta wonder.

    I saw crap coming a couple years ago with the midterm election. Got my collection where I want it, mostly, last year. And glad of it.

    Now I just keep buying powder, primers and ammo until they tell me I can’t.

  12. “Loaded questions like “What news sources do you read” and “Would you like to see Roe v. Wade overturned?” with a followup of “Do you believe in the right to privacy?” ”

    Oh, man. That must have been so very hard for you.

    I invite people to question my belief system. Because I’m right. Bring it.

    Difficulty because of your personal belief system? Personally, I’ve seen federal agents lie on a search warrant, commit perjury, endanger innocent people, ruin lives out of spite, and totally get away with it. I’ve been slandered by a newspaper, not in an editorial, but called a criminal in an actual news article and accused of things that would have made Al Queda proud. I’ve seen government auditors rake somebody over the coals for three years, destroy their business and drive them into bankrupty, all to discover at the end that no wrong had been committed.

    And this was done by agencies during a time frame where the executive branch was actually surprisingly lenient, despite the bleating of the sheep about the evils of George Bush. There was a lot of talk about all of the horrible censorship and crap like that, but Barack Obama threw a lot more reporters into the street during his friggin’ campaign than Bush threw out of the Whitehouse in 8 years.

    We’ve now gone back to the type of executive branch that burns churches, only I’ve got a feeling that Obama is going to make Clinton look like a piker. Eight years of Clinton showed us active harrassment of industries by executive branch agencies and wholesale punishment of states that didn’t fall into line. (Escalante National Monument anyone?)

    Clinton was a politician, probably the best one of our generation. (that is not a compliment) Obama is a true-believer in hope and change. We ain’t seen nothing yet.

    You feel bad because your belief system was constantly questioned? Welcome to big boy town.

  13. Even if we grant that the interview questions were “loaded” — which I don’t really think is true; mostly they seemed like softballs, but let’s just say they were designed to be tricky — don’t you want a president who can’t be outwitted by trick questions from Katie Couric? Basically, I think there shouldn’t be any way for a TV journalist to trick your president into looking like a buffoon. Your president should be quick enough on her feet that Katie Couric could do her damnedest, and the president still should come out on top.

    Here’s why: once you’re actually running the country, no one plays nice. The only kinds of questions you’re going to get are the loaded kind. If you can’t handle that, you’re not cut out for the job.

    And, I’m saying, you still get to pick a non-socialist. Hell, you can pick a libertarian if you want. Just not an idiot. How about Mike Huckabee? He’s a loon, but he seems like a reasonably intelligent loon. He probably even knows that Africa is a continent.

  14. “and traded 2 chickens and a bag of rice for a goat. It was a very busy afternoon.”

    Excellent! Well, at least your business is booming. Eagerly waiting for MHI II.

  15. Larry: What does your rant there have to do with the questions asked to Sarah Palin by Katie Couric?

    Also, if you’re so big on defending your belief system, don’t you think Palin should be able to defend hers, from…Katie Couric?

  16. Also, in response to your non sequitur rant:

    I’m not upset about people questioning my personal belief system. Like you, I welcome that. If I didn’t, I would probably not read your blog daily and post on a pretty regular basis. My problem is with the people–they exist on both sides of the aisle, but the ones on the right are more vocal–who have abandoned factual, logical debate in favor of rumors and smears. They don’t disagree, they call names. If you disagree with the current president, you’re not a member of another party or someone with a poorly informed viewpoint or someone with different policy priorities; you’re a traitor, a communist, a terrorist, etc. Witness Ann Coulter for some of the best examples. It lowers the level of political discourse in this country. It turns debates into smear competitions. It turns positive campaigning into negative campaigning. It’s not about my feelings being hurt, much as you’d like it to be; it’s about my country being hurt by a lack of intelligent, legitimate debate on issues in favor of moronic name-calling and slogans.

  17. Larry, I’ll be checking periodically to see when the FBMG Teddy Bear Hospital opens; I’ve got the bear that rode on the back of my BMW for several years that needs repair.

    Until that happens, I’ll just have to start stocking up on .223 for the AR that just got built yesterday.

    As for Todd and his naive point about loaded questions… do try and remember the media sh*tstorm that descended on a plumber who asked The Annointed One some questions one afternoon. Try and remember how BO keeps sticking his foot in his mouth every time he gets out from behind the teleprompters. Hint: I’ll still be here bitterly clinging to my guns and my religion while you’re trying to remember this.

  18. I’m not sold on Palin, either, but I am willing to give her a chance. She has a few years to convince me. For now, I’d rather have Bobby Jindal or even Mitt Romney, considering how shitty the economy is doing.

  19. A lot of people (myself included) thought the bit about guns and religion was spot-on, if politically damaging. So, if your argument is, “Barack Obama says politically damaging things when he goes off script, which is the same as how Sarah Palin says dumb things when she goes off script,” then I don’t really understand that.

    But so let me try this another way. What’s so great about Sarah Palin that you can’t get in another candidate who believes the same things, but isn’t embarrassing in his/her (lack of) understanding of the rest of the world?

  20. I would not have voted for McCain if Palin hadn’t been on the ticket.

    Neither would at least 10 of my friends.

    Don’t much care what the media claims. The truth is that Palin helped McCain. The showing would have been even more dismal without her.

  21. Dave Sohm ~

    Larry’s screenplay involved an “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” type storyline. I was just reading this blog post and thinking of an alien (I don’t mean a non-American citizen, I mean an alien) in the Oval Office. Mind tends to veer that way after Larry’s been working it over with his nightmare visions…

  22. pax: Honestly, I think someone like Bobby Jindal would have been a better choice. From what (admittedly little) I’ve seen, he’s a better speaker and public figure, but he has the same conservative and neoconservative ideals as Palin. He could have energized the base in the same way she did without driving away the moderates. And he’s just one. Another choice would have been Romney. The base didn’t like him, but they’re certainly not going to vote for Obama so there wouldn’t have been a lot of switched votes there, plus his moderation would have reinforced McCain’s claims to being a “maverick” as well as giving him a bit of strength on the economy, since that’s Romney’s area of expertise. Ron Paul, if he’d accepted the nomination, would have gotten a whole lot of swing voters, plus the gun vote, plus turned out some young people, which McCain sure as hell couldn’t do. Condi Rice would have been a great choice–an intelligent, well-spoken, calm black woman–but I suspect McCain’s campaign wanted to completely distance itself from all things Bush so badly that they ignored that possibility.

    I’m not saying Palin was the worst pick McCain could have made–IMO, Lieberman would have been a terrible idea–but she was not very good. The theory behind picking her–negating Obama’s claims to youth, grabbing the base, picking a woman–were good, but she was just a poor candidate. However she comes across in person, when someone asks you “What news sources do you read?” and you can’t come up with anything, you’re probably not ready for the kind of media investigation that’s going to follow a candidate for high office.

  23. I fear her, yes. But not because I think she could win. I fear her because I think that if she had been made VP and then president, she would have been completely incapable of running this country.

    Go ahead and run Palin in 2012, though, if you really feel a need to watch the Democrats win again.

  24. Oh, and to the communist trolls. You’re in entirely the wrong place to propound your drivel. Lugar? Can anyone explain WHY that RINO even bothers with the R? The trolls think he’d do well? For them, yeah.

  25. Well, on one hand I’m glad sales are going well for you. On the other, I don’t like what the high sales mean.

    Oh, well. That just means you’re pickin’ up the tab at the bar!


  26. Interesting little wind-flag from the “Office of The President-Elect”. The old Urban Policy webpage used to say “… support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets. ” It’s now vanished, merely reading “The page you requested is not available right now.”

  27. Three months ago my wife asked me what ammo I thought we should buy to be In The Event Of… and the O!ne is just one disaster that is unfolding.

    I thought about it and then spent a week filling in the blanks in my reloading components inventory, making a list of the miscellaneous tools that I’ve meant to have on my loading/maintenance bench. And counting rounds.

    After the week, I went to Wally’s and picked up a hundred rounds of twelve gauge field load, the same in 16 gauge (barter goods), and bought a case of Brown Bear 62gr .223 for the Bushmaster.

    The Mrs. called home from work and asked about the ammo again. I said “It’s cool. We have enough ammo.”

    She called back about ten minutes later and said “You have HOW MUCH ammunition???”

    I did screw up and wait too long to buy a rifle length upper. I will put one on layaway and hope.

  28. In The Event Of…what exactly? Civil war?

    I don’t think it’ll come to that. 60% or better of the country is full of no-mind sheep. We’re a healthy part of the rest, as are the ignorant liberal commie gun-grabbers.

    It’ll continue like it has been for decades until the UN gets involved, and that’s when the shit will really start to fly.

  29. cmblake6, you know me from other places, so you know I’M not a CP troll.
    But I’m starting to have second thoughts about Palin – not as an EXECUTIVE, but as someone CONNECTED ENOUGH to know what’s going on.
    IF she gets her head OUTSIDE ALASKA, then yeah, she could do well in the Oval. But she has GOT to get out of Juneau more often to be viable as a candidate for the Oval Office – or even to be a REAL VP for Bobby Jindal in 2012.
    Otherwise, we’ll see Urkel get reelected – and THAT’S something too scary to contemplate.

  30. Chicken Little dealer BS … no gun ban is going to happen. Patiently waiting for all those goodies to hit used gun racks at surplus prices … hopefully

  31. Mad Yank, YOU know as well as I do that every tiny flub was magnified. If she had a toenail too long, they’d hammer it. Sarah Palin knows a whole bunch of things very well, she’s got PROVEN executive experience, and the MIDIOTS attacked with everything they had because THEY knew she was salvation for the Rs. But, to their credit(?), now a RINO isn’t in the big chair, the nation will see their error, and the right will be returned.

  32. the real problem will be the UN w/ Clinton calling the shots.
    If the senate ratifies the gun control treaty, and it becomes the law of the land, we WILL have to decide quickly how that fits the oath of office that every president, congressperson and judge takes.
    It is the same oath that I and many others took as officers in the Armed Forces of the US:
    …. to support and defend the Constitution of The United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic…
    I will not subrogate the Constitution to any external manmade law.
    I consider any violation of this oath to be treason.
    And while I am at it, I consider all regulations INFRINGING on the second amendment to be the work of traitors.

  33. 2 major problems with Palin. The biggest is that McCain asked her which means he did not feel she was a threat to his socialist/fascist leanings. The 2nd, is that she accepted which means she has some piss poor standards in terms of who she associates with and lends her name to.

    Lugar? I would ask why anyone would want to elect an anti-gun senator from IN, but our last election featured an anti-gun senator from AZ on the republicrat ticket and an anti-gun senator from IL on the democan ticket so anything is possible.

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