Movie Review: Skinwalkers



We are so overdue for a good werewolf movie it is ridiculous.  We get decent B grade flicks, but it seems like the vast majority of the werewolf movies with budgets have just sucked, and Skinwalkers is no exception. 


Okay, the plot, as far as I can tell, is that there are good werewolves, and bad ones, and when a boy turns 13 during the full moon, then some prophecy will be fulfilled, and something or other will happen.  Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, because at no point in time do you actually care about any of the characters. 


So with just a couple of days left for the prophecy, the bad guys, looking like rejects from a Dennis Hopper post-apocalyptic biker-movie show up, and have an excruciatingly slow and awkward gunfight against the good werewolves.  First off, whoever was their gun consultant needs to get the boot.  Apparently a little known fact about lycanthropy is that it also causes poor vision, and the inability to use a front sight, and you know, actually AIM at your target.


Then the movie devolves into a tedious chase.  There are some plot twists that you can see coming a mile away, and then finally, it is over.  The werewolves are relatively dull, the violence is weak, and there are no good effects that I can recall. 


Overall?  Lame.  Skip it.  And this is coming from the guy that has rented something like 1,000 really crappy movies, and just can’t stop, and even with my advanced ability to totally disconnect my brain while watching a movie, I thought is sucked.


For no cubicle could hold him...
This week in the news 11-29-07

10 thoughts on “Movie Review: Skinwalkers”

  1. You know, one of these days, I want to make a movie where werewolves and vampires fight each other and really display how kick butt they are.

    Two creatures with superhuman strength and resiliance or recovery from injury, as well as more than human reflexes and sensory abilities shouldn’t be getting in gunfights, unless said gunfights involve carrying an M-60 as if it were a Grammaton Cleric’s Beretta.

    The only show that got it close to right was Buffy, when Buffy and Spike finally eliminated their sexual tension in a rut that literally collapsed a house on them. The bathroom fight in Terminator 3 also comes to mind.

  2. I’m disappointed that the movie is a werewolf flick with the title of Skinwalkers. Skinwalkers are evil indian shamen that can shap shift into anything… not just wolves. They are the worst of the necromancers… yet here they are just puppies. Pathetic!
    A Grammaton M-60, now that would be epic.

    Movie plug: NIGHT WATCH and the second part DAY WATCH. Best thing to come out of Russia since the AK-47 and STALKER.

  3. Ogre – thanks for reminding me. In one of the two Permuted Press Undead Anthologies out just now, there is one absolutely awesome “zombie tale” with a Skinwalker that would positively be everything you ever wanted in a tale. Well, maybe it’s not a Skinwalker per se, but a dead thing that makes new bodies for itself with whatever’s available to it.

  4. Man, you know what, in my opinion is the all-time WORST warewolf movie? Howling 2. Is Skinwalkers worse than that? I can’t imagine so. . .

  5. Howling 2 has redeeming qualities, some intentional (naked Sybil Danning in a menage a trois with another naked werewolf chick), some unintentional (Reb Brown and Christopher Lee speaking to each other in more than one scene? The only worse mismatch of actors would be Pauly Shore and John Wayne!).

    Now, The Howling 4:the Marsupials, that blew chunks beyond all get out.

  6. Howling 2 was dumb, but Howling 4 was so amazingly bad that it circumnavigated the world of badness and came back around to good. Come on, Marsupial Werewolves? Werewolf nuns? Ballerinas? And then it mutated through out into like 4 different kinds of movies. I loved it for its badness.

    Red, I hadn’t seen the novel, but Dog Soldiers was my top pick when I did my top 5 Werewolf Movies of all time post.

  7. Dog Soldiers was very good indeed. My vote. Ah, but what about the Underworld movies. While not purely werewolf, they did do some good werewolf stuff. Both of those were good!

  8. Well, it’s pretty much up there, but I watched Darkwoof the other night… Yeah, and I know how it’s really spelled… Can’t resist.

    IMHO, there hasn’t been a really -creepy- werewolf flick done lately – and that counts Dog Soldiers…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.