B-Movie Review: Subspecies 4, Bloodstorm

Okay, just from the title, you know it is going to be awesomely bad.  Just say it with me, Subspecies 4:  Bloodstorm.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181315/  You know you can’t say the whole title without smiling.   

 

I watched this last night.  It had a few good points, and was a relatively entertaining vampire movie.  But the main problem was that this was one of those gothic, angsty vampire movies.  See, there are a few basic types of vampire characters.  Vampires as bad guys, and secondly vampires as “misunderstood” gothy types.  This movie was kind of in between, with one angsty wimpy vampire, and one bonafide psycho.  The others were your typical Anne Rice washouts. 

 

To clarify, curse Anne Rice’s homoerotic sissy vampires.  Vampires are supposed to be the evil incarnate bad asses of the B-movie world, not sensitive, tormented artist types.  Vampires should never be mistaken for the Art History major that works at your local Starbucks. 

 

So we’ve got one wimpy vamp, and one evil one.   The wimpy one was played by B-movie staple, Denise Duff.  I can’t remember the name of it right now, but she directed another vampire movie where the best part was how the boom mike kept falling into all of the shots.  That was a good one.  Basically her job is look hot, and be sad and tormented. 

 

The evil one just wasn’t very convincing.  It was nice that he was ugly, but they took it a bit too far with the ridiculous extended fingers.  It worked for the original Nosferatu movie, and really created a creepy atmosphere, but we didn’t see long scenes of the guy just walking around with these really idiotic fingers dangling all the time like in this one.  If you’re going to have 18 inch fingers, you could at least have him flip somebody the bird. 

 

Then there was a nonsensical subplot about a vampire doctor, and some politics amongst vampires with big 80’s hair.  Overall, it was kind of dull.  I have no rating system to speak of, but let’s put it this way.  I wasn’t tempted to burn a bootleg copy of it for myself.   

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