The dumbest thing I've ever done with a gun

So last night, I finish teaching a CCW class, and get home around 9:30 at night.  My wife, who must really love me, surprised me with Halo 3.  Now I love video games.  I enjoyed Halo 1 & 2 immensely, and since I’m a sucker for hype, I was really excited for the final chapter.  This was a great surprise.

One problem, the batteries were dead in my X-Box controller, and I couldn’t seem to find any double As anywhere in the house.  (D, N, 123, A, but none of those darn AA) So I decided to run down to the local store.  Now keep in mind, if I’m outside of my house, I’m always armed.  Since I had already gotten comfy, and had put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, my usual methods of carrying wouldn’t work.

Normally I carry on the belt, or on a bellyband that fits under loose clothing.  I was too lazy to change, and figured it would only take a minute.  Now some people would go out unarmed, but I’m a man of principle.  Snort… Nah, seriously, I’m just one of the most unlucky people I’ve ever met, and that means that the very first time I go out unarmed, I’m going to blunder into the finale of Heat. 

So I borrowed one of my wife’s concealed carry rigs.  She sometimes uses a fanny pack with a Makarov in it.  The fanny pack is a fashion no-no, but Master Chief is waiting for me to save the earth from the evil forces of the Covenant, so there was no time for pants.  I lengthened out the straps, (a lot), strapped on the pack, and ran out the door. 

I made it to the store, walked inside, in a hurry, thoughts of Halo dancing in my little brain, asked a sales person to point me toward the batteries, and then…


I look down, and see a Bulgarian Makarov sitting there on the white linoleum floor of my local grocery store. 

See, this is my wife’s rig.  I don’t normally use a fanny pack since on a big, normally fully-dressed man that looks kind of like a young Tony Soprano, it just screams I HAVE A GUN, SHOOT ME FIRST.  In seven years of carrying a gun every day, I had never dropped one. 

See, my wife unzips the fanny pack when she gets done using it.  She leaves it open inside the safe, and she is in the habit of doing a chamber check, and zipping it shut when she leaves the house.  I didn’t even think that the pack might be unzipped.  And while in a hurry, it looked closed, since she zips it across the top, and shoves her hand in through the side.  The side was open, and that evil little gun just waited until it had witnesses before jumping out, while screaming “Hey World!  Look at me!” with a Bulgarian accent.

So back to our adventure.  I scoop up the gun, and shove it back into the pack.  The clerk looks at me, having seen the gun, and says “What was that?”

Being really clever, I answer, “I dropped my gun.” 

His response?  “Oh, that kind of thing happens.  I’ve got a .380 on right now…  Batteries are over here.”

God bless Utah.

I felt like such an idiot.  What a horrible, ignorant, newbie mistake.  The fact that I had just gotten done teaching 25 strangers how to legally carry a gun was painfully ironic. 

Moral of the story?  Never assume.  Know your gear, especially when you borrow your wife’s stuff.   No matter how cool Halo 3 is in HD with surround sound, you still need to pay attention to real life.  And most importantly, be friendly to your local grocery store staff.


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9 thoughts on “The dumbest thing I've ever done with a gun”

  1. I’m surprised that you’ve not got one of those “Play and Charge” kits that Microsoft sells. AFAIK, it’s cheaper than buying batteries all the time.

    Mind you, you wouldn’t have had as much fun, would you?


  2. …or you can get rechargeable power pack and keep the battery pack as a back up. I am about 6 hours into the game and have to say that I am impressed.

  3. Larry&%$#@*&%$Correia!
    Halo &%$#*$@#3!

    Anyways, I thought it was a guy thing to check your zipper?
    Just a thought while I try and carry IWB most days my wife just convinced me to carry a man bag so I don’t look like batman… or in this case master chief.

    I guess it’s more fashionable than a fanny pack but you just sealed the deal. Man bag it is!

  4. Yet another reason to hate fanny packs. Though as far as “dumb things to do with guns” go, it could be a lot worse.

    By the way, I lurk over at the High Road forums on occasion, good to see you letting people know that women aren’t all helpless bimbos who are terrified of guns.

  5. Feces occurs. Dropping things, a.d.s, it happens. Unless you are absolutely aware each and every time, complacency can cause these hiccups. You’re forgiven.

  6. LOL,

    Seriously though, I few weeks ago I pulled my M9 out of the safe. Since its downstairs and in the safe the loaded mags are kept in the ‘go can’ so it was unloaded. ( you know where this is going) I was supremely confident that NO mag or ammo had been in the pistol since I placed it a month ago in the safe.

    I was loading my bag for some shooting fun at my local range when I took the pistol and decided to work the action (this all happens in 1 maybe 2 seconds) but before pulling the trigger I realize I had not checked the chamber. I thought about not checking it because it had NO mag in it and hadnt been loaded since I placed it in the safe.

    It did.

    I stared at the JHP laying at my feet and realized I had almost put a round through my own hand. But prudence and training won out. Thank god I took TWO handgun classes that preached and preached about that dang ’empty’ chamber and why we should always VISUALLY check it.

    So that is the dumbest thing ive almost done.


  7. Picture it, Milan, 1932… er, no, small town TN in 2003. Just back from the range, everything unpacked, in the back entry to my house so everything’s stacked on the washing machine while I split mags up, retrieve ammo, take off my shoes, etc.

    That last part’s important.

    I hadn’t zipped the rug my CZ75 was in… just because. I picked the stack up, it shifted, out slid the CZ in freefall.

    It’s not wise to perform your garage-borne practice of sticking your foot under the falling part because (a) the CZ is heavier than whatever bit of wood gets dropped and (b) I’m not wearing my steel-toes…

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