Monster Hunter Nation

Run Forrest Run!

Larry here, I’ve been swamped trying to get the 1st draft of Monster Hunter Siege done by Christmas (so I can have the week off!), so there hasn’t been much blogging. Luckily, the CorrieaTech marketing daimyo has put together some best of posts. We were recently reminded of Forest, who provided us with hours of entertainment. Enjoy.  

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Hey all, Jack Wylder here. I was searching the site for an old expression (“Justify the Moon Ferrets!”) and couldn’t find it. Fortunately, Heather and Jesse over at the MHI Fan page on Facebook dug it out of mothballs for me. So today I’m putting on my archivist hat to save this for future generations. In order to keep this “short” (it’s not) ok “shorter” I’ve left out most of the comments that didn’t have anything to do with Larry, even though they were having great fun before Larry even showed up. You can read the full thing here:
Full Transcript: https://www.facebook.com/brad.torgersen/posts/997639086928991?comment_id=997782793581287
As per usual, Larry’s words will be in BOLD, his opponent’s will be italicized. Enjoy!

+ + + + +
    Brad Torgerson Nov 5th, 2014

Yeah, that whole #WarOnWomen thing really scored for the Democrats last night, didn’t it? (sigh) I used to vote Dem. Stuff like #WarOnWomen is why I stay away now. It’s paltry, dishonest, does not reflect reality, and treats women like they are not only eternally adolescent, but a monoculture of same-minded, same-thinking, Stepford-like robots. Last night some very interesting REAL WOMEN won office, and they did it playing for the “wrong” team. Let’s please retire #WarOnWomen to the Museum of Terrible Campaign Strategy Ideas.
(Forrest chimes in and they casually bat him around like a tether ball for a while. He continues to ignore facts, reason, and logic until…)

(THEY SUMMON THE CORREIAKEN!!)
    Larry Correia Nov 5th, 2014 12:01am

You rang?
Brad, I apologize in advance that I’m about to use bad words on your page, but I simply don’t have the time, nor the patience to deal with this fucking troglodyte imbecile in an amicable fashion.

Instead I’m going to mock him, berate him, insult him and his fundamental philosophy, maybe call him some more names, rejoice in my giant majority, maybe add a few more insults, then go to bed, in my giant house in the mountains with my hot athletic wife. I won’t bother to wait for Forest’s response, because it will consist of some poorly thought out sound bytes regurgitated from Mother Jones and a series of links, and I’d rather suck start a 12 gauge than listen to one more fucking doofus tonight.

First off, why won’t anybody answer his question about the gender gap?

Well, Forest, that would be because it is a stupid fucking question.

You’re like that crazy hobo on the subway demanding everyone justify the moon ferrets. But moon ferrets aren’t real, so why waste a bunch of time explaining that to a stinky hobo. But I’ll try, because I’m a retired accountant, and when people like you try to use stats it is like watching a monkey humping a football. So amusing, but kind of sad.

If you mean the pay gap that exists between women, anybody with an ounce of statistical sense knows that it is insignificant when it comes to actual equivalent jobs with equivalent requirements. Once you factor in that women are statistically more likely to take time away from their careers for child rearing and factor that in, the pay difference is statistically insignificant. Unless you work in the Obama White House, because fuck you is why.

Men also tend to work more in dangerous or physically demanding jobs by choice, which also pay better. Nobody forces them to go into those fields. Men also get more STEM degrees and women get more LAS degrees. STEM pays better. Nobody is forcing these men to do math, but men and women are different. If you don’t understand why my accounting degree is more valuable that your gender studies degree, you don’t understand basic econ 101 and supply and demand. So yes, I would like fries with that.

If you mean the gender gap in voting between the parties, just about every psychological study ever conducted by somebody not huffing paint understands that women tend to make decisions more emotionally and men tend to make them more logically. I see you reaching for you Sexist Card, but I said tend. This is not always the case, it is simply a trend. If you don’t like it or find that sexist, you can fuck off and die. Men and women are different. Most of us happen to like that. Some men think more emotionally (like pajama boy metrosexual hipster douchebags for example), and some women think more logically (like hot republican warrior babes), but a trend is a trend.

Now, the DNC being a bunch of sleazy shitwads, do manage to have some people working there who are excellent at stats and marketing. I’m assuming they hire evil republican capitalists for these positions because they show some basic competence. Regardless, these clever people understand the whole emotional reaction thing, and when your platform is mostly bullshit, they aim their marketing at a bunch of heart string tugging, sob story, feel good but do nothing, nonsense that appeals to the big hearted and mushy headed voter. Why yes, I don’t want old people to starve and free health care for everyone! Yay!

As for what have conservatives done for women?

Built America.

Deal with it, motherfucker.

You are pathetic at debating. At some point in time you discovered that if you just post enough bullshit, non-stop, you will win by attrition because most people simply do not give a fuck enough to waste their time debating what is basically a fleshy spambot. You’re so bad at this that you even annoy the shit out of the people you might have convinced. If you had an iota of likability, you might have swayed somebody, but you’re so incredibly shitty at this that even the moderates would rather hang out with Harry Reid, and they’re pretty sure he’s a pedophile.
You do not realize that arguing on the internet is a spectator sport. Nobody ever sways the decided, you fool! The goal is to convince the undecided. And on that count, Amy the Sign Language Gorilla makes a better spokesman than you.

You are basically a Speak and Spell, and instead of when pulling the string you get “THE COW GOES MOO” you get “LINK TO HUFFPO” or “WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION”. Only the Speak and Spell has a use. Children need to learn which animal says moo versus which one barks. You on the other hand, are completely fucking useless, and when it comes to entertainment, my money is on Fisher Price.

When you ask a question, and people answer it, a smart person would then use logic to pick that post apart for the edification of the onlookers and observers. But not you, you just pretend the question wasn’t answered, and keep asking it over and over again. That is the Damien Walter method of arguing, and usually occurs right before somebody with half a brain clubs you like a helpless baby seal.

Don’t feel bad. Compared to Damien, I’m letting you off easy.

I know these things. I’ve seen your kind, and know your methods, which is why rather than debate you, I simply insult you. Then everyone laughs at you. I’m amused. They are amused. We go about our fulfilling lives. You go home, yell at your five cats, then masturbate furiously into your shame pillow while watching episodes of Girls on HBO, before passing out in a puddle of Thunderbird.

Which is why I’m awesome, popular, and rich, and you are a loser with 2 followers. Because you suck, and everyone hates you.

So, at the end of the day, please continue with your link storms, and your tired, boring, hashed out Salon bullshit about the war on women. One of the reason the republicans now have 250 seats in congress is because morons like you have helped to annoy the living shit out of the average American to the point that if a man wearing a HOPE/CHANGE shirt was to step into the intersection in front of their car, they would literally mash the accelerator to the floor, just in the hopes that it was you.
Our many new republican senators thank you.

Now fuck off.

(Forrest)
“Yes or no, was trying misogynistic?”

It would have seem less so, if the proponents were not the same ones who wished to ban abortion entirely.

(Larry)
And before Forest goes on Checklist and says “you sound angry” or you “typed a lot”, I wrote that during the load screens between a couple games of World of Tanks.

I’m awesome at that too..

(Forrest)
” fucking troglodyte imbecile”

(Forrest)
“As for what have conservatives done for women? Built America.”
I guess these would be some of the persons you are referring to?

(Larry)
That’s because you’re arguing with a semi-sentient spambot, Jared.

Here, let me help you. When I said Built America, and he posted a picture of some black guys, that’s when you should have said, “is that pic from when democrats owned slaves or after the republicans freed them?”

But seriously, Forest is too dimwitted for you to bother. You’re just pulling the cord on a speak and spell.

(Forrest)
It’s called the Socratic Method, dude.

(Larry)
And the Correia method is to tell you to eat a bag of dicks.

The Forrest method is THE COW GOES MOO.

(Forrest)
‘is that pic from when democrats owned slaves or after the republicans freed them?”

Actually, it’s a picture from the Hoover Dam. Nothing to do with slavery.

(Larry)
It has nothing to do with slavery because republicans wouldn’t let you guys own them anymore.

(Forrest)
” And the Correia method is to tell you to eat a bag of dicks.”

You should really write that down. Preserve your wisdom for future generations.

(Larry)
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi…
HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA BWAHAAAAAAAAA snort.
You’d have to have some glory for it to be fleeting, dipshit.
(yeah, familiar with the quote, since I’ve made buckets of money off of a book with that in it)

(Forrest)
“Words – do you grok their meaning?”

The Way that can be spoken is not the true Way.

(Larry)
Holy shit. That’s some Kung Fu Panda level stuff right there.

(Forrest)
Lao Tzu thought of it before Kung Fu Panda.

(Larry)
Lao Tzu would nut kick you for invoking his name

(Forrest)
He was a peaceful old man who never kicked anyone, so far as has been recorded.

(Larry)
For you, he’d make an exception.

(Jennifer ‘Management’ Douglas Roemershauser)
Forrest, you may be dumb as a bag of hammers on everything else, but you were smart enough to get your clueless pinko commie liberal ass out of Harlingen, Texas. I am thrilled beyond belief that you found a tribe of equally clueless PNW libtards to embrace you and your HuffPo quotes and Daily Kos talking points. So on behalf of the rest of Texas, thank you for getting the hell out. Next time, help Keep Texas Beautiful, and take about 10,000 more of your liberal buddies with you.

(Larry)
Oh shit, Jenn, you guys let this doofus into Texas? Was that like an equal opportunity thing? I bet it was Ann Richards fault, and she was all like “you know, Texas sure could use more fat, stupid, liberals with too many cats. Let’s get on that.”

(Forrest)
“I am thrilled beyond belief that you found a tribe of equally clueless PNW libtards to embrace you and your HuffPo quotes and Daily Kos talking points.”

Actually, the subject under discussion was the gender gap, quantified by the Pew Poll. Have you nothing of substance to say about it?

(Larry)
Bitch please. That ship done sailed.

Now we’re beating you like a rented mule.

Oh, and Jennifer Douglas Roemershauser is a woman, a successful professional in what is traditionally a man’s industry, so you should like totally lecture here about the gender gap!

(Forrest)
“Bitch please. That ship done sailed.”

Remind me, what was your explanation for the gender gap?

(Larry)
I explained it. Scroll up. Big post. Starts out calling you a fucking imbecile, explains the gender gap, then calls you some more names. Pretty fun actually.

(Forrest)
I kind of lost interest after the “imbecile” part. Why don’t you summarize it.

(Larry)
Oh, and by the way, you might be really stupid, I mean shockingly, glaringly dumb as shit, like sleep in a helmet, boy ain’t too bright, hide the scissors dumb, but this thread didn’t start with the gender gap… It started with Brad Torgersen talking about the war on women and you hijacked it with your bullshit and proceeded to bore Brad so badly that he fell asleep and hit his head on his desk.
Concerned for Brad’s well being and safety, that’s when I joined in and relentlessly mocked you for my reader’s amusement.

(Forrest)
So there really is no connection between them?

(Larry)
” kind of lost interest after the “imbecile” part. Why don’t you summarize it.” — Well, obviously. You’re a democrat so I’d expect you to lack cognitive powers and focus.

But you’re super good at cut and paste, so go to the middle part. It is right after the part where I explain how to us retired accountants watching people like you trying to use stats is like watching a monkey humping a football.
(Larry)
What a train wreck. I’m ashamed of you guys. All of these posts and nobody thought to say “run Forest run!” to try and warn him that I was coming? Y’all are slipping.
(Larry)
Why yes, Forrest. I did. Put down your bag of Cheetos, and scroll up on your Obamaphone, you lazy motherfucker. I’m tired of handing everything to you losers.

(Forrest)
So the reason for the gender gap is what?

(Larry)
Again with this shit? “So the reason for the gender gap is what?” Seriously, Jared, I think you broke the Speak and Spell. Try hitting it against the floor or something.

(Jenn)
Any rational thinking woman who stands on her own two feet in whatever path she has taken in life – career or stay at home mom – is a woman who refuses to play the victim card. And THAT, my pinko friend, is what the Dems cannot fathom. A woman who has no desire to be a victim, or claim to be a victim or play the victim card when life hands them lemons based on their own shitty choices?? ZOMG! She must be an idiot! Brainwashed by her husband! Subservient in every way! *snort* Yeah. RIGHT.

Even at the lowest points in my life, I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps. There’s no War on THIS Woman, that’s for damn sure.

(Forrest)
“Any rational thinking woman who stands on her own two feet in whatever path she has taken in life – career or stay at home mom – is a woman who refuses to play the victim card”

So the majority of American women, because they vote Democratic, must be irrational wimps who whine and play the victim card? That is your explanation? It does sound a bit insulting.

(Forrest)
“I think by abrogating your responsibility to read the answers given you you might just lose the right to keep asking why no one has answered you.”

Give me a break. I am being buried in insults and kibitzing. What was it YOU wanted to say?

(Larry)
Give you a break? Fuck off and die! 😀 This is awesome!
(Larry)
Explain the Gender Gap!

SCROLL UP, FOREST, SCROLL!

Are your fingers too fat to push the arrow keys? Try mashing your face against the keyboard. Maybe ask one of your cat-brides to help!

(Forrest)
“Larry gave you one”

The only answer I recall is that American women prefer to vote Democratic because they are gutless wimps. You have a different one?

(Larry)
You are being buried in insults because that’s all you deserve.
(Larry)
Gutless wimps. Holy shit you are stupid!

I’ve got to get Nick Searcy in here. He’d love this thread.
(Larry)
Forest: “Too… fat…. to scroll.. up… gasp… pant…. wheeze.”
(Larry)
Jonna, I am so very sorry that you have to live near this doofus. Does the city have to put nerf on every corner? Did they have to install automatic livestock hoists so he could get up and down curbs?

(Nick Searcy)
Has anyone advanced the Unified Ass-Kissing Human Democrat Centipede Theory as a way of explaining the gender gap yet?

(Larry)
Chesterton would give up his peaceful ways, put a bar of soap into a pillow case, and beat Forest with it like that scene in Full Metal Jacket… Right after Lao Tzu nut kicks him. Forest is just that punchable. Ghandi would punch him in the stomach while Martin Luther King held Forest in a headlock!
(Larry)
Nick Searcy holy shit man, you need to scroll back up this page. Find the giant post I wrote. This guy Forest is one of the finest examples of the HDC I’ve ever seen in the wild.

(Forrest)
Scroll up? Most of those guys are blocked. I remember Brad said that he didn’t have to explain the gender gap because it is unimportant. Some woman said Republicans respect her as an adult who doesn’t care about gender issues, that was her explanation for why women vote Democratic. Someone else explained that it was because the Democrats keep insulting women. Jared said the reason was the propaganda “war on women”; he refuses to explain why this propaganda is so more effective than the rest. Someone else said that American women are irrational, gutless wimps who like to play the vicitm and that is why they vote for Democrats. Was there something else?

(Larry)
Shhh… It is too quiet. It has been nearly 3 minutes since Forest posted demanding that somebody explain the gender gap.

(Forrest)
So far as I can tell, no one here has an clue.

(Larry)
Wow. Forest’s longest post yet! And all of it to say that he’s too fucking stupid to find the biggest post in this thread! 😀
Hint, it is the first one I posted. Ctrl F is your friend.
(Larry)
Hell, come to think of it Ctrl F is probably his only friend.

(Forrest)
“I was concerned that Forrest had gone away.”
I got all night.

(Nick Searcy)
I think Forest has recognized himself in Larry’s incredible dissection of him and is doing some thumbsucking.

(Larry)
Of course he has all night. Lot of down time at the glory hole.

(Forrest)
“fucking stupid to find the biggest post in this thread!”

Yeah, the one where he said that American women are irrational, gutless wimps? Don’t think I need to re-read that.

(Nick Searcy)
No, the one where he correctly identified you as a fucking imbecile.

(Forrest)
Are you all agreed that the explanation for the gender gap is that American women are irrational gutless wimps?

(Forrest)
“a fucking imbecile.”

Birds of a feather flock together.

(Nick Searcy)
Segments in the Human Democrat Centipede share a common interest in the ass in front of them. It’s How Forrest survives.

(Forrest)
“that’s why he keeps running away from facts and logic and stuff.”

So far as I can tell, I am the only one here who care about facts and logic and stuff, though the rest of you seem to be very strong on persiflage.

(Larry)
WRONG POST DUMB FUCK. Holy shit. You don’t take instruction well.

Since i never called any women gutless wimps, I’m assuming you’re still stuck on stupid. Here. Let me help you find my explanation of the gender gap.

1. Pull your Obamaphone out of your ass crack where you keep it warm and safe.
2. Open your America Online browser.
3. No. Not your porn window.
4. No, that porn window too.
5. Fuck, Forest, how many porn aps do you have?
6. OKay, good. Now go to Facebook.
7. Quit looking at naked Lena Dunham photos and try to fucking concentrate for a minute.
8. Good.
9. Forest! Get your hand out of your sweat pants! Damn it!
10. Now I want you to hold down the Control key and push the F key.
11. Control… Sheesh. It says CTRL… It is a rectangle…
12. Finally. Okay, now in the little window type in my name. Larry Correia.
13. What the fuck is Lrrry Crriea? Do you even have opposable thumbs?
14. There you go. Now, hit enter until you find the first post I made in this thread.
15. It is very big.
16. Fuck… That’s your idea of big? No wonder you don’t have a woman in your life.
17. No, Forest, your cat brides don’t count.
18. There you go. The middle part has my answer on why the gender gap is bullshit.
Yay! Gold star for Forest! (sticks it on his nerf helmet the doctors make him wear)

(Forrest)
“Okay, now in the little window type in my name. Larry Correia.”
You mean the jerk who is spamming me with insults? You expect me to search through all of them?
Here is one for you:
1. Select the relevant text.
2. Press control-C.
3. Select the bottom, where it says, “Write a comment.”
4. Press control-V
Isn’t that way simpler than your method?

(Larry)
“You expect me to search through all of them?”
No. The first one! THE FIRST ONE! HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKER WHO HAS EVER LIVED!
One! Uno! Ich! First! Primo! Alpha!
For fuck’s sake! He’s got to be a robot!

(Forrest)
Let me summarize some of your points for you:
“Well, Forest, that would be because it is a stupid fucking question.”
Yeah, except that you can’t seem to answer it.

(Larry)
Yes, that is the post, Forest…. Good. Good…
Now slowly… slowly… Run your gigantic fat finger down the screen (try to ignore the greasy stain that leaves) until you find the paragraph that begins “If you mean the pay gap” and then read the next few paragraphs…
Holy shit… I knew it. He moves his lips when he reads.

(Forrest)
” You’re like that crazy hobo on the subway demanding everyone justify the moon ferrets.”
I deny an such activity.

(Larry)
Forest shouldn’t worry about the gender gap. He’s trying to make the leap from plant to animal.
(Larry)
I like how I’m the incoherent writer though… New York Times bestselling novelist versus a guy who got his zipper stuck in a goat. Yep. That’s gone over super awesome.

(Forrest)
” because I’m a retired accountant, and when people like you try to use stats it is like watching a monkey humping a football.”
So that’s why you are unable to cite any actual facts to support your argument? Because it is like watching a monkey humping a football? They taught you that in accounting school? And you graduated? Really?

(Larry)
Yes, I graduated from “accounting school”.

(Forrest)
” If you mean the pay gap that exists between women, anybody with an ounce of statistical sense knows that it is insignificant”
I didn’t say that, but since you think it is fair to attribute opinions to strangers, I would venture to say you don’t give a damn about the pay gap and don’t know a thing about it.

(Forrest)
” If you don’t understand why my accounting degree is more valuable that your gender studies degree”
Since I don’t have a gender studies degree, I think it is fair to assume that you know nothing about accounting, either.

(Larry)
So there you go. I just posted links to a such right wing sites as Time and the Huffington Post where economists say the same thing that I said, in that the pay gap is a myth.

Hear that, Forrest, that is the sound of you done getting fucked up!

(Forrest)
” about every psychological study ever conducted by somebody not huffing paint understands that women tend to make decisions more emotionally and men tend to make them more logically”
Heh, I DO have a degree in Behavioral Science (Rice U. 1974), and I don’t remember them saying anything like that, which is not surprising, because I expect you just made it up.

(Larry)
Oh, and for this “Since I don’t have a gender studies degree, I think it is fair to assume that you know nothing about accounting, either.”

Yes, I TOTALLY THOUGHT you had a gender studies degree.

Seriously, this guy sets a record for stupid.

(Forrest)
I would prefer just to point out that you are a very rude and poorly-bred person. I assume you have it from your parents.

(Larry)
Since Forrest has gone all literal now, no. I did not go to accounting school. I got my Spaceship Captain license from the Idris Elba School of Spaceship Captaincy at the University of Phoenix.

(Forrest)
” Now, the DNC being a bunch of sleazy shitwads, do manage to have some people working there who are excellent at stats and marketing.”

And this would differ from the RNC in what way?

(Larry)
“I would prefer just to point out that you are a very rude and poorly-bred person.” – You had to be, to survive THE PROGRAM.
“I assume you have it from your parents.” I have no parents. I am a genetically engineered super soldier.

(Forrest)
“I’m assuming they hire evil republican capitalists for these positions because they show some basic competence.”

Oh, Republicans are evil. I should have known.

(Larry)
He brought up my breeding… BECAUSE HE IS RACIST!

Larry Correia Nov 6th, 2014 1:32am
Guys, as much fun as this has been, it is after midnight at Yard Moose Mountain, and unlike Forest, I’ve got a job. I’m turning in.
You pitiless bastards may continue.

Straight Out of Tombstone
Update: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Sinners WORKING LINK FOR THE KINDLE!
Ray
Guest
Ray
2 months 27 days ago

“…You go home, yell at your five cats, then masturbate furiously into your shame pillow while watching episodes of Girls on HBO, before passing out in a puddle of Thunderbird…”
I remember reading this when it was posted and laughing so hard I nearly had a cerebral hemorrhage.

Shadowdancer
Guest
2 months 22 days ago

then masturbate furiously into your shame pillow while watching episodes of Girls on HBO, before passing out in a puddle of Thunderbird…”

I have to say, I gagged there because my mind screamed “WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER MASTURBATE TO LENA DUNHAM?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Hateful electrician
Guest
Hateful electrician
2 months 19 days ago

She is to women what totinos are to pizza. Not great but every now and then you crave that taste

Hateful electrician
Guest
Hateful electrician
2 months 19 days ago

And just like the blistering heartburn from the pizzza that wasted sock will be a painful reminder of last nights poor decision

Shadowdancer
Guest
2 months 19 days ago

LMAO!!!!

Austin
Guest
Austin
2 months 27 days ago

Ah, thanks. I needed this today.

Can “From the Archives” new a regular thing?

Samuel Markie
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

I still say stand by this as the greatest thing that Larry has written.

gmmay
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gmmay
2 months 27 days ago

I second this.

Ygolonac
Guest
Ygolonac
2 months 27 days ago

OK, I must have missed an update, what’s the PUFF for Moon Ferrets?

Zsuzsa
Guest
Zsuzsa
2 months 27 days ago

70 gabazillion dollars each.

But since the only one who will accept your paperwork for them is that guy in the corner of the subway who keeps muttering to himself about how the Queen of Toronto is really one of the lizard men from Sigma Draconis, I’d recommend against including those dollars in your budget until the money actually hits your bank account.

AuricTech
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

Just include those dollars in your budget’s “Mad Money” line item, and you should be fine.

Civilis
Guest
Civilis
2 months 26 days ago

And make sure to send your budget over to the accounting guys before the Queen of Toronto figures out which subway station is involved, because she doesn’t like her little secret getting out. If Accounting signs off on it before she does that horrible Draconisian thing to the poor guy, you’re good. If not, you have to do all the paperwork all over again…

CR Williams
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

I move that Moon Ferrets become part of a future MHI story. I think it would be not quite too much fun to have them somewhere even if it’s just in the background.

Semiba
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Semiba
2 months 26 days ago

Seconded.

BobtheRegisterredFool
Guest
BobtheRegisterredFool
2 months 26 days ago

Moon Rabbits are worth twenty to eight hundred thousand. Moon Ferrets only show up to take Moon Rabbits, and are not worth PUFF unless they are killing humans. Since both Moon Ferrets and Moon Rabbits can appear human, Moon Ferrets can be mistaken for serial killers or secret police. The most recent confirmed sighting of Moon Ferrets was, at the time, mistaken for Special Operations Executive.

Thankfully, Moon Foxes are rare even on the Moon. They would start at one and a half million.

Moon Crack is very bad stuff.

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik
2 months 27 days ago

Larry, this was mean, savage, nasty, vicious, lacking in common human decency, brutal in ways normally banned by international law and cruel beyond imagining.

Well done.

Tyler
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

“Since Forrest has gone all literal now, no. I did not go to accounting school. I got my Spaceship Captain license from the Idris Elba School of Spaceship Captaincy at the University of Phoenix.” – This may be the best line of all time

mark
Guest
mark
2 months 27 days ago
AuricTech
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

Justifying the Moon ferrets is a marginal endeavor.

Arwen
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Arwen
2 months 27 days ago

I remember this! It’s just as funny now as it was then.

Professor Headbutt
Guest
2 months 27 days ago

My soul.

And THIS is exactly why I’m not on social media. My head hurts now.

SingleSky
Guest
SingleSky
2 months 27 days ago

I feel really bad for the guy but he just didn’t know when to walk away.

Seriously the primary purpose of conversation is not just to lecture, but to understand the other person and their thoughts, beliefs, feelings, whatever. If Forest had no intention of doing that, I don’t understand why he expected the same deference from you guys.

Keith Glass
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Keith Glass
2 months 27 days ago

Damn, I missed another epic thread . . . .

Kristophr
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Kristophr
2 months 27 days ago

So he couldn’t read the post because the first sentance made him feel bad?

Dear lord, what a punching bag.

BobtheRegisterredFool
Guest
BobtheRegisterredFool
2 months 27 days ago

Moon ferrets keep the moon rabbit population in check, along with moon wolves, moon eagles, and moonshine.

Drang
Guest
2 months 26 days ago

Don’t forget the Metal Munching Moon Mice!

(Related: “Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass!”)

richard mcenroe
Guest
richard mcenroe
2 months 27 days ago

Larry, I was in the middle of rereading Sinners when I noticed something:
“Make Larry get it!”

I think you need to have a little chat with John…

Imaginos1892
Guest
Imaginos1892
2 months 27 days ago
I just don’t get why Larry hates cats so much. I certainly wouldn’t wish Forest on a poor innocent cat. Some of us live in the city, where there isn’t room for a dog worth having. I certainly like cats better than annoying little yappers. San Diego is just overrun with the little bastards. They aggravate the shit out of me, and I’m a couple hundred yards away. How do the owners stand it RIGHT IN THE SAME HOUSE? YAP! YAP YAP! YAP!YAP YAP YAP! YAP YAP! YAPYAPYAP! YAPYAP! YAP! ALL. FUCKING. DAY. There should be a PUFF bounty of,… Read more »
CR Williams
Guest
2 months 27 days ago
In the same position, really. Also tend to prefer cats to dogs. Would like to have a dog, though, just need more room for the kind I’d prefer. Saw some article recently that was espousing satisfaction over the number of ‘cat guys’ that were suddenly revealing themselves. Fine as it went but the pictures had me setting up a checklist even before the inane statement about it relieving some of the ‘toxic masculinity’ that appears to be worse than Zika to many progressives. So: Like cats. Like dogs. Like guns. Like women. Like fast cars and trucks. Support the military… Read more »
Shawna
Guest
Shawna
2 months 26 days ago
I like cats and dogs pretty equally (though not the yappers), but cats just fit more easily into a lot of people’s lives. As far as men owning cats, so far I’ve seen two attitudes. (I’m sure there are more.) There are those who don’t really want to deal with being responsible for a pet at all and go, “Hey, an animal that I don’t have to pay attention to or do anything to take care of and yet keeping it will get my wife/child to stop complaining about wanting a pet.” Or there are those who actually enjoy the… Read more »
Shawna
Guest
Shawna
2 months 26 days ago

As an addendum to my previous comment: Any man who likes neither cats nor dogs may as well wear a big sign saying, “Don’t date me; I’m probably a serial killer.”

Julaire
Guest
Julaire
2 months 25 days ago

While I prefer men who don’t like pets. Takes all types to make the world go round. In my case it’s because I’m allergic to pretty much any non-reptilian or fish pet.

As an aside, there are two checks to determine is someone is a crazy cat person.

1) Are there more than 2 cats in the home?
2) Are the number of cats equal to or greater than double the number of people?

If the answer to both is yes, then you’re dealing with crazy cat people. =)

Radioactive
Guest
Radioactive
2 months 26 days ago

So if I like pussy….

Shawna
Guest
Shawna
2 months 26 days ago

@ Radioactive

… then you’re a disgusting sleeze who needs to grow up and move out of the frat house.

Seriously, men who use language like that, not only would I never date, I’d try to avoid being in the same room with. Nasty. Show a little respect, dude, to other people and to the English language.

FeatherBlade
Guest
FeatherBlade
2 months 25 days ago

Chill, Shawna. Not everything has to be a trigger for the whistle on the outrage train.

Radioactive
Guest
Radioactive
2 months 21 days ago

that was just too easy and I should be ashamed of myself. However on close consideration, you should just put on your big girl panties Shawna and cover up that old puddy tat…

FeatherBlade
Guest
FeatherBlade
2 months 25 days ago

…then you have an archaic vocabulary and may be British. ^_^

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG
2 months 26 days ago

Hemingway loved cats. Nuff said.

Drang
Guest
2 months 26 days ago

As did Robert A. Heinlein.

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG
2 months 26 days ago

I haven’t had time to look if Teddy Roosevelt did, but I suspect he did.

richard mcenroe
Guest
richard mcenroe
2 months 25 days ago

That may have been for public consumption since they unearthed that Heinlein trunk story, “The Cat He Threw Through Wall.’

Imaginos1892
Guest
Imaginos1892
2 months 26 days ago

One more good thing about cats – I live two blocks from a fire station. Cats don’t howl at the sirens. And then KEEP howling at each other for a while after.
————-
Ninth Doctor: “What’s your name?”
Rose: “Rose Tyler”
Doctor: “Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!”

Shadowdancer
Guest
2 months 22 days ago

One of the more amusing things I find about Dan Blizerian is that he really loves that grumpy fluffy cat of his. Angry pussy(cat) + gun pics!

Okay the dude’s also got tons of practically naked chicks in his pics but honestly, those pics are why I couldn’t even be remotely irritated about the ‘grab them by the pussy’ comment. Rich guys DO often have women throwing themselves at ’em.

Anyway. Grumpy pussy cat.

Semiba
Guest
Semiba
2 months 26 days ago
Imaginos, Just an FYI, but there is one particular breed of “yappers” that I find palatable: the rat terrier or a rat terrier/schnauzer mix. They hunt mice and all manner of small creatures, and when they catch them (which they are surprisingly good at), it’s… vicious. A bird got caught in our sun room, and our fine specimen of the above chased it until it ran out of steam, then viciously killed it. There have been other such events. It’s a breed that’s entertaining, fairly intelligent, and was bred with a purpose in mind. As to Chihuahuas, all manner of… Read more »
Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG
2 months 26 days ago

In regards to cats, I’ve always owned them with less of an attitude of “kootsie wootsie fur-baby”, and more of an expectation that they will earn their keep by murdering small critters in horrible, painful ways.
Seen in that light, cats are kind of like a miniature version of Agent Franks.

Joe
Guest
Joe
2 months 25 days ago

Oh you didn’t go there, now Larry has to write a story where Franks is infiltrating some cultists dressed as a Furry……

Imaginos1892
Guest
Imaginos1892
2 months 27 days ago

Wanted to add one thing. Real women don’t have to be given equality by some pandering politician. They stand up and TAKE it.

Shawna
Guest
Shawna
2 months 26 days ago
Okay, first, please let’s don’t start with the ‘real women’ thing. There are no qualifications for being a real women other than being human and having an XX chromosome. You start putting requirements of attitude, action, political views, etc, and you’re playing the liberals’ game. Second, tell that to all women throughout all of human history. By that logic, they were second-class citizens (if not outright property) because they just didn’t have the spine to insist on better treatment. That’s insulting. Women have rights only at the pleasure of men. When men have all the power (starting with the physical… Read more »
Synova
Guest
Synova
2 months 26 days ago
I disagree at least partly. Women often have a great deal of power in many societies, Historical or modern, though it doesn’t often look exactly like the power of men. And most of the time, when women have no power as women, men don’t have power either. Only *some* do. Now, standing up and taking power works as poorly for women as it does for those men in those societies. It makes no more sense to demand that the oppressed in whatever country, oh, North Korea, say, are oppressed because they don’t stand up and take power. That’s not how… Read more »
Imaginos1892
Guest
Imaginos1892
2 months 26 days ago

Yeah, what Synova said. In the context of contemporary US politics. Hold your fire.

I’m talking about the Democrat myth of ‘the war on women’ and their victim culture.

Radioactive
Guest
Radioactive
2 months 20 days ago

I like real women, as opposed to make-believe women. I must be a hater.

snelson134
Guest
snelson134
2 months 27 days ago

The link is giving me a 404 error.

JackWylder
Guest
JackWylder
2 months 26 days ago

Thanks- fixed it

Guest
Orvan Taurus
2 months 26 days ago

I know I have come into this quite late, and long, long after the original source, but I suppose given some the repeated content and my… bovinity… I might be obligated to do this:

MOO.

Also, just yesterday unto me was delivered that special edition of Monster Hunter International.

Toastrider
Guest
Toastrider
2 months 26 days ago

See, now this sort of thing is why I visit Mr. Correia’s blog. He is awesome and watching him stomp some leftist with his hobnailed boots of logic is like getting a free hot fudge sundae. The kind where the ice cream is still nicely cold, and the fudge is cooling but still warm, and there’s peanuts, and you even eat the cherry because it looks good.

Lawson
Guest
Lawson
2 months 26 days ago

Oh, this is going to be a good read. I can just tell.

Vatertortuga
Guest
2 months 26 days ago

Great, now the people around me I are wondering why I am laughing out loud at the office. Thanks for brightening up the morning.

Lawson
Guest
Lawson
2 months 26 days ago

Was gonna post how Mr. Gump was (is) an idiot, but seems like Mr Correia and everyone else beat me to it.

Andrew Jones
Guest
Andrew Jones
2 months 26 days ago

I’m not even a quarter through and all I can think is that I want to know more about the moon ferrets.

BobtheRegisterredFool
Guest
BobtheRegisterredFool
2 months 26 days ago

Moon Ferrets do things they wish nobody had to do, in order to keep the Moon Rabbits from invading the Earth.

Imaginos1892
Guest
Imaginos1892
2 months 26 days ago

Forest is proof of something I’ve been saying for years:

Not everybody should go to college. Some folks, you send ’em to college and you just wind up with an educated idiot.

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG
2 months 26 days ago

I’m of the belief that most people should not go to college right after High School.
Better one take two or more years off to grow up a bit, work a real job*, and shed some of the bad habits Public High Schools tend to instill in students.

*there’s nothing like a dead-end, entry level, minimum wage job to give motivation to actually study something useful, and work at it.

poobie
Guest
2 months 25 days ago

The summer before I started college, I was a cashier at a big-box hardware store. It wasn’t fun, but it was tolerable, apart from those days I had to spend loading concrete on pickup trucks. The next summer, I ran the register at a gas station. Having to clean the women’s restroom at a gas station just off the interstate, 30 minutes from Talladega, after a race, will put the spirit in you, let me assure you.

Anon123
Guest
Anon123
2 months 26 days ago

Brilliant. The Moon Ferrets are fully justified now.

David Small
Guest
David Small
2 months 24 days ago

Here I am in the middle of “Monster Hunter Vendetta”, my cell goes bonk!, new Tweet… and who’s writing a long and utterly beautiful reply… it’s Larry Correia!
What a wonderful wonderful world…
Thanks,
David Small

Tomyironmane
Guest
Tomyironmane
2 months 22 days ago

Now imagine you’re attending university for Mechanical Engineering (I want to design guns) and these pathetic wastes of air are running things.

benning
Guest
benning
2 months 19 days ago

😀

TANSTAAFL
Guest
TANSTAAFL
2 months 14 days ago

“moon ferrets” Dude, that is like so stolen.

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