Monster Hunter Nation

Still not a *Real* writer!

Because the ultra reliable Guardian newspaper has repeatedly predicted that Larry Correia has “irreparably damaged” his career as a hack writer of pulp trash, this is a screen shot from last night’s Amazon top 100 ranking of all authors in books sales across all genres. Larry Correia can’t even beat a guy who has been dead for 400 years! What’s your excuse, Correia? It isn’t like Shakespeare has any new releases!

William

And to further demonstrate the complete and utter ruination of Larry Correia’s career, he can’t even get to the top of his genre. Sure, he’s lumped in the same ultra competitive, mega selling genre as Sexy Mummies/Scottish Time Travel romance, but the new MHI spin off novel released the same day as a new Harry Potter book. You can guess how that shook out.

Curse you, Rowling! CURSE YOU! (shakes fist at sky)*

10 Harry Potter

*(for the record, because I made a joke on Facebook yesterday about JK Rowling booting me from the topΒ again–Robert Galbraith was revealed as her pen name the same week as Warbound came out, so I ended up at #2 on Audible that week–some humorless mopes assumed I don’t like JK Rowling. On the contrary. I think she is awesome, makes her fans happy, GETS PAID, and got millions of kids to read. Also, the sorting hat put me in Slytherin and my patronus is a manatee).

BOOK BOMB! Bob Defendi's Death By Cliche
BOOK BOMB tomorrow. Bob Defendi's Death By Cliche
the gripping hand
Guest

Good Lord, would I love to see that patronus!

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik

(swarms of SJW Dementors attack)

“Expecto patronum!”

(Flash of silver light, Wendall appears)

“HOOOOOOOONNN!”

Steven Schmekel
Guest

Obviously the writer at the guardian was from Hufflepuff.

Greg
Guest

“Successful” =/= “good. Rowling has a very easy to read and engaging style, yes, but her plot logic is terrible, she pulls crap all the time out of her ass that causes plotholes, and the wizarding world as she presents it is a horribly racist and corrupt place that frankly doesn’t deserve saving.

DankMiehms
Guest

Successful is the definition of good. If you do a good job, you make lots of money and buy a mountain or two. The Wizarding world she created has massive issues, but that’s not a great reason to say she’s not good. I mean, she basically presented us with the UK, except with wizards. Corruption and fantastic racism? Say it ain’t so!

Greg
Guest
I’m sorry, but that’s nonsense. Leaving in-universe morality aside, her writing has major issues. Here’s a few of them: She creates three different things that exist in that universe that would have made it impossible for Sirius to have been imprisoned for over 13 years (veritaserum, pensives, and Unbreakable Vows). She makes those things up to serve the plot needs of the moment without considering how they tear great big HUGE holes in her already-constructed plot. During almost all of Book 7 the Trio wanders around haplessly while the world burns around them. They can’t even destroy the Hoarcrux they… Read more »
mark
Guest

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”
Oscar Wilde

Just kidding.

As far as Voldemort being able to terrorize an armed society. It’s simple when that society won’t even admit there is a danger (Ministry of Magic denying that he was back for instance)>

Rob H
Guest

TL/DR version: “I didn’t like it, therefore it is objectively BAD.”

Nope. You just didn’t like it.

Nit-picking supposed “flaws” and “holes” in a work that is nothing more than an attempt to rationalize your personal subjective response. It is an attempt to pretend that your personal taste somehow aligns with an objective judgment of quality. Sorry, no, it doesn’t — not for you, not for me, not for anyone.

ravenshrike
Guest
Do you really think a body as bass ackwards as the Wizengamot made up of useless purebloods would allow something as effective as veritaserum to be used in court cases except where explicitly authorized by them? As for pensieves, Dumbledore has one. It makes no mention of how rare they are or whether they can distinguish between memories implanted by Obliviation and normal ones. Unbreakable vows require three people and take a toll on the magic of the bonder. Moreover, the penalty for breaking it is death, it does not stop you from doing so, which means not reliable under… Read more »
John Van Stry
Guest

She told an entertaining and gripping yarn and got millions of kids to read while making a billion dollars. That’s both good and successful in my book.

Greg
Guest

Again, successful =/= good. Otherwise Michael Bay is the equivalent of Copola, Hitchcock, and Kubrick.

Kristophr
Guest

Successful = good.

No one really knows what is considered “literature” until the author is long dead.

IllTemperedCur
Guest

Yes. In fact, the artist is irrelevant when it comes to judging the worth of the artist’s work. Or it’s meaning. The AUDIENCE is the ultimate judge. Once the art leaves the artist’s pen/paintbrush/piano etc……. too bad, sucka. You don’t get a say in the matter.

That’s not to say that audiences are infallible. Catcher in the Rye, for example. πŸ˜‰

Greg
Guest

So MIcheal Bay deserves to be considered in the same category as Hollywood’s top directors for making dumb, lowbrow films that make a lot of money.

Shall we abandon voting for the Oscars and just compare box office totals to pick who gets the statues?

Weton Davis
Guest

Considering what the Oscars are, that would probably be a good start.

kensieg
Guest

Why not?

Expendable Henchman
Guest

@Greg: Have you even seen “A clockwork orange”? I’ll take 2 1/2 hours of pyrotechnics any day of the week.

mark
Guest

Have to agree on that one. Was too young to see it when it came out but everybody in the biz was raving about it. It even got a Playboy spread (I knew where my older brother’s stash was).I finally broke down and rented it (a looong time later). Total snoozefest!

Archer
Guest
Rowling has a very easy to read and engaging style, yes, but her plot logic is terrible, she pulls crap all the time out of her ass that causes plotholes… Maybe, but she also lampshades it throughout the series by pointing out the many, many ways Wizarding logic differs from Muggle logic. You’re supposed to just let it go and chalk any ongoing strangeness up to “That’s how the Wizarding world works, I guess.” As for the racism (specism?) and corruption, don’t Rowling’s protagonists spend not-insignificant time making sure lesser-accommodated creatures — centaurs, house elves, and giants particularly come to… Read more »
Greg
Guest
“That’s just how the wizard world works” is like saying (sorry for the pun in advance) “the wizard did it”. That’s a cop out for lazy/neglectful/incompetent writing. As for the other claim: Rowling’s characters SAY one thing and do another entirely. There is no in text evidence that anyone’s lot is improved in general. By the end of the book house elves are still bound servants. Giants are all but gone, Centaurs are ignored. Even the one piece of arguable pro-active good in changing the status quo (Mr Weasley’s Muggle Protection Act) is, when you stop and think about it,… Read more »
Miisha Moon
Guest

I agree that the society has major problems, but what does that have to do with the merits of the books? Are all good books to be set in Utopia? Or be a tale of societal revolution? That’s an awfully narrow range, if so.

Greg
Guest

It is just ONE of the issues with the books, along with various technical issues that I have enumerated elsewhere.

Miisha Moon
Guest

Sorry, I should clarify, I am not a bog fan of the books, and never finished them. I always meant to until I read the fanfic Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality which is so good it ruined the source material for me.
I was just commenting on your apparent concern over a flawed society in these books.

Shawna
Guest

I haven’t read that one, but there are some exceptionally good HP fanfics out there. One of my fave authors wrote alternate POV fics which did a good job at sticking to canon while trying to resolve some of the plot holes/inconsistencies. The problem with JKR’s newer additions to the HP-verse is that now we have all this amazing fanfic (some of it’s amazing; admittedly a great deal of it is crap) to compare it to, and to a lot of us JKR’s new stuff (and, IMO, even Deathly Hallows) comes up short.

Greg
Guest

Since we’re on the subject now of fanfic, two of the best out there are Old Crow and Robst over at Fanfic.net.

Dustin
Guest

In my opinion, easy to read and engaging is a decent definition of good when it comes to authors. I’ve read plenty of “literature” spanning from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms through Shakespeare, Shelley, Dickens, and Tolkien. Give me an engaging Rowling, Sanderson, Correia, Weber, Ringo, Flint, et cetera over any of them.

Greg
Guest

So it’s “good” when the authors make no sense? When the characters are just wandering around aimlessly from place to place between author enables (Book 7)?

kensieg
Guest

Yes. It didn’t seem like aimless wandering when I read Book 7. If it’s so awful, write something better.

Chris L
Guest

It’s good when an author can keep you entertained. If the books don’t entertain you (and I’m not a fan) by all means find something else to read. Or better yet, write something better so the rest of us can enjoy it and see the true greatness that is within you.

McChuck
Guest

Aimless wandering, nonsensical world building, freeway sized plot holes, c/f the entire Shannara series. It’s so bad Netflix turned it into a TV show. πŸ˜‰

Joe in PNG
Guest

Greg, let it go. You didn’t like it, no worries.
But arguing (on Larry’s page!) about how it was bad, and how people shouldn’t like it? That’s the Way of Clamps, and you don’t want to follow the Way of Clamps.

Shadowdancer
Guest
That is a touch harsh; Greg at least gives completely understandable criticisms as to why he doesn’t like the Potter books (I personally agree with his criticism of the Wizarding World and was very much unhappy with what they did with that poor nonmagical family ‘to stay safe’ while simultaneously sympathizing with what Hermione had to do to her parents’ memories of her as a tragic hard decision.) Clamps’ ‘reason’ boils down to ‘you suck and nobody should like you or anything you do as having any value no matter what reality says, and you should be erased from existence… Read more »
Joe in PNG
Guest

I would say that “I don’t like it, here’s why” is okay.
Saying “You shouldn’t like it, here’s why” is a bit much.
While not the full Clamps (with all the psychosis), or even a fraction of him, obsessively explaining to people why they weren’t supposed to like something they liked does remind me of the guy. Faintly.

APMSki
Guest

Doing my best to put you up a few places. Just bought your latest two. Unfortunately, I will be adding to J.K’s giant king sized bed of $100 bills as well ’cause my 11 year old insists……

Savdragon
Guest

I did my part! Halfway through grunge! I’d be done but work interrupted my reading time!

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Plainly you should just chuck it all and go write Captain-America-is-a-Nazi comic books for Marvel.

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik

I’d love to see Larry unleashed on a major comic book . . . minus editorial micromanaging. But that’s not likely to happen. Maybe at one of the smaller companies . . .

John R. Ellis
Guest

I predict is Larry -did- try to write a comic for Marvel or DC, the SJW would try to blacklist him, like they did with OSC and his Superman story.

But while DC has recently shown vague signs of growing a spine, Marvel is hellbent on going full SJW even as the films just try and be entertaining. So I don’t think he’d fare better there either.

Possibly he could do a project with one of the indies, yeah…

Randy P.
Guest

IDW is apparently the way to go, according to Chuck Dixon.

Lawson
Guest

Didn’t Marvel back out of that?

Matt B
Guest

Yes. He was brainwashed into believing that he used to be a Nazi by the Cosmic Cube.

Randy P.
Guest

They did exactly what they said they wouldn’t do.

You didn’t expect SJWs to have a spine, did you?

Onereader
Guest

Sorry. I didn’t help as I purchased yours and JKR’s yesterday πŸ˜€ Timing is all.

Arwen
Guest

Sexy mummies? Tell me they haven’t gone there. Please.

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Jhon D\'oh
Guest

Chuck Tingle approves!

Arwen
Guest

I weep for humanity.

Achillea
Guest

No way in hell am I clicking that link. It’ll f’ up my Recommended section for weeks.

Lawson
Guest

Just don’t click on it while you are logged in =D.

Shawna
Guest

Actually, I’m pretty sure Colleen Houck’s current series is a YA romance about a sexy mummy. (Haven’t read it, but I think that’s right. Her previous series was about tiger shapeshifters, and I did read most of that.)

Semiba
Guest

Needs lubricant!

kensieg
Guest

Yes they went there.

Dave H
Guest

That lady in the Harry Potter picture is kind of how I imagine Dorcas looks.

Dan Bennett
Guest

If you could get on the high school assigned reading list, you could probably beat that Shakespeare guy. It would be interesting to see how Shakespeare’s ranking fluctuates during the school year.

Old NFO
Guest

LOL, Sometimes all one can do is laugh at the ‘Guardian’… So you are in the top .00004% of all authors, but THAT isn’t good enough??? And how many years headstart does old Willie have on you??? πŸ™‚

Julaire
Guest

Think of how poor Robert Dugoni must feel to be coming in behind a not-a-real-writer.

thomashewlett
Guest

Slytherin4Life

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik

I didn’t chose the Slytherin life. The Slytherin life chose me.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Serpentosexual and proud!

John Van Stry
Guest

So, does Rowling make you kiss the ring when you meet her at cons? πŸ˜‰
Maybe you need to publish on the day of her daughter’s wedding, then you can ask for #1 πŸ™‚

Richard McEnroe
Guest

You know, Larry, if you’d only listened to your betters, you might have gotten past John Fletcher, too.

Robert
Guest

You’re now down to 86*. Must be a day-to-day thing?

*Technically, you’re at 84, because for some reason Gary Trudeau and some other guy were both listed twice for some reason.

shawn
Guest

Shakespeare at 77? White privelidge!

jic
Guest

Note that you are just ahead of somebody named Dugoni, which looks a little like Dugong, which is a marine mammal closely related to the Manatee. A coincidence? I think not.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

The dark secret of Larry’s extra dimensional amphibious ghost writer revealed! Adam Baldwin heartbroken!

Woelf Dietrich
Guest

This is massive. Congratulations. It’s a slow slog for me but I’ll get there. One day I too will be a not-real writer. Can’t wait!

Keith Glass
Guest
Scene: The Elevator Descends from the lair of the International Lord of Hate. The Door Opens, and out steps Dr. Pup-N-Furter, wearing a camo-pattern cloak. Sar-net faints and swoons into Dan’s arms. The ILOH breaks into song. . . “Not Real Author” (to the obvious tune. . .) How d’you do, I See you’ve read my, Series, M – H – I. . . I’m just a little depressed, because When you knocked I thought you were the. . ammo man. Don’t get freaked out, by the, way I write. Don’t judge a gun, by its’ caliber I don’t get… Read more »
Expendable Henchman
Guest

@Keith Glass:
Thank you ever so much for a mental image of Larry in Tim Currey’s Frank-N-Furter lingerie.

Keith Glass
Guest

I rather thought you’d be quivering with an-tic-i ( 1. . . .2. . . 3. . .SAY IT!) – pation . . . .

And I haven’t mentioned some of the other characters. . . like Ring-raff. . .

Shadowdancer
Guest

*points to the vat of brain bleach*

Jim Butcher
Guest

Syltherin. Represent.

Miisha Moon
Guest

Harry Dresden is a Gryffindor.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Severus was a hero.

Matthew Martin
Guest

And a petty, resentful, vindictive bully.

perturbed
Guest

Yep. He was all of that. But I’m reminded of E.E. Doc Smith’s statement regarding the Third Stage Lensmen: “No lesser mind could penetrate her screen, nor having failed, recognise the fact of failure.” It’s one thing to shut Voldemort out; it’s quite another to be able to fool him into thinking you aren’t even trying. The man was a genius, a hero and a master wizard who could have been greater than Dumbledore if he had lived; it’s just a pity he was also an issue-laden arsehole bully.

Draven
Member

and your wand is made from steel instead of that silly wood, and has tritium night sights instead of a feather.

Achillea
Guest

And a fold-out melon baller.

Anon4321
Guest

How do you get to the best-selling authors list? I can only get to the best-selling books list myself.

Shawna
Guest

*makes Slytherin power fist*

Seriously, though, as an HP fan, I’m totally uninterested in the new “book”. Sounds terrible. Fortunately, I can just ignore it and not read it. The power to do that is like magic.

Semiba
Guest

You have to admire the marketing ploy though. It’s a *manuscript* and relatively short, so JKR is making $30+ a pop on what is essentially a novella.

John R. Ellis
Guest

It’s a stage play, so a lot of it falls flat, without performers to bring the lines to life or what seems to be the most massive theatrical FX budget ever.

Shadowdancer
Guest

Yeah, when I heard it’s a screenplay, I wasn’t particularly interested myself.

Rob H
Guest

I read it and enjoyed it greatly; I thought Rowling and her collaborators did a really good job of coming up with a “generational” story that combined new characters and older ones, and included clever call-backs to many things from the original books.
The format (text of a stage play) didn’t bother me, but then, I grew up reading and enjoying plays, both classic and modern.

HARVEY HAMS
Guest

I read Grunge in about 5 hours. The hook for MHI was Owen going one on one with a Werewolf. This was just John’s vision of a hunter from the past, great books.

Joe in PNG
Guest

Read it, liked it, and look forward to the rest.
Of course, I’d love to see a MHI novel in the late 40’s/early 50’s era.

kensieg
Guest

I’d love to read about Earl’s WWII adventures!

jic
Guest

An Earl spin-off series would be a good idea. What I really want to see though is a STFU series.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Apparently according to his introduction Larry edited a few of Ringo’s choices. We’ll never know if those were Earl’s wartime reminiscences or “Oh, Earl Harbinger, no!”

Wizard Bear
Guest

I guess it’s good that you are not a real writer, cos I certainly am not a real fan . But I love your stuff. WB

David Hickenbotham
Guest

I love Shakespeare and even took a Shakespeare class in college. And yet, how much cooler would it have been to be able to take a Correia class in college! When my kids and grandkids are being “forced” to find the symbolism and themes of Monster Hunters: Nemesis instead of the Great Gatsby or Grapes of Wrath, then you’ll be able to consistently pass up that Shakespeare guy.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Note:symbolism does not mean being able to tell the Ubeti from the Ruger logo…

Conrad Crews
Guest

Larry? A low life Slytherin? Sorry Larry, you’re too honorable.

Lawson
Guest

I will admit, I am fairly new to this blog, but when did the “Larry is not a real writer” thing start? Also, has anyone who actually matters said this?

Reziac
Guest

Just wait til they claim you’re not a real millionaire either. πŸ˜‰

Miisha Moon
Guest

Yep. I’m sure they will simultaneously explain, and believe, that Larry isn’t well off, and that it doesn’t count that he is well off because his books aren’t high brow or promoting any “important” messages.

Jake
Guest

Larry’s books promote all kinds of important messages. Buy guns, big government sucks, don’t be a sheep, and don’t be a jerk without good reason. Those are the most important values.

Reziac
Guest

Who knew, Larry actually DOES write message fiction!!

Reziac
Guest

It’s that tin shack he’s building in the back of nowhere, that’ll fool ’em. Oh, I know! He could paint Important Messages on the roof! That’d be highbrow enough, right??

Lessee… “GET OFF MY LAWN.” Yeah, let’s go with that one. πŸ˜‰

CR Williams
Guest

If he puts solar panels on the roof and maybe a windmill or two (I’d say do eggbeaters ’cause I like them better than the propeller types) he could play the environmentalist card a bit.

Or just shoot them with the tank cannon once he gets that set up.

Richard McEnroe
Guest

Put a solar panel on the tank and confuse the Shi’ite out of the Grrens .

Shadowdancer
Guest

*snerk* nicely played, sir.

Akatsukami
Guest

Well, he isn’t a real millionaire. He just has common money, not that elite SJW money that’s so much better than the other kind.

airboy
Guest

I enjoyed Grunge and could not put it down. Finished it at 3:00am.

Wrote a lengthy review for Amazon today.

PatrickM
Guest

Currently the UK Guardian newspaper is suffering large losses. Thus it might be assumed it needs an investor. Perhaps CorreiaTech might be a suitable white knight?

Sheila
Guest

Accidentally bought Grunge in both hardcover and Kindle – so I gave the book to my older son who’s temporarily in residence. While he’s read your blog and various short stories, he’d never read any of your books. I’ve hardly seen him for 3 days now. He went and bought all of your Monster Hunter books for his own Kindle and will be reading them during the next few weeks at AT for the Guard. You have a new fan.

wpDiscuz