Monster Hunter Nation

Sad Puppies 3 Update 2.1 Addendum to Prior Update

So, after my last blog post a dude who has 45 Hugo nominations (no that is not a typo FORTY FIVE) became very cross with me for saying that the the Hugos are broken. Now, since he has won twice as many Hugos as Robert Heinlein I can’t possibly imagine why he would be biased in favor of the current broken ass system, but I can only assume that his motives are absolutely pure.

While searching for something else to condemn me for, this stalwart journalist decided that I had never *specifically* declared that people should read the suggested works before nominating them, and thus am a very bad person.

After he posted in the comments of the last update, I responded with a few quotes where I did encourage people to read for themselves, form their own opinions, choose for themselves, and basically how you Wrong Kind of Fans are just going to do whatever the hell you feel like anyway.

I made a joke that I also never specifically told Sad Puppies supporters not to set fire to small animals, so obviously, Larry Correia wants you to burn small animals… However this might not have been clear enough for Glyer-45-Hugos, so I’d better clarify. Do not set fire to small animals. That would be mean and bad.

So allow me to go on the record about other things that are so stupidly obvious that I shouldn’t have to say them, but since we are dealing with ridiculous, lying SJWs, I’d better be specific:

You should wash your hands after going to the bathroom.

You should read stuff before nominating it for awards. 

You should look both ways before crossing the street.

So there you go, Glyer-50-Hugos (I figured what the hell? Let’s round up!) Thanks to your hard hitting journalism, the nefarious Larry Correia has now gone on the record about some painfully obvious stuff.

I apologize for not loading down our first blog posts on this subject with a bunch of asinine disclaimers and trigger warnings. After Brad and I get back from LTUE the next thing we had planned were blog posts about the works we selected and why, to encourage people to  read them. The nominations don’t close for over a month, giving people plenty of time to familiarize themselves with the suggested works.

And while Brad is doing those posts, I am going to be running a series of Book Bombs to try and expose as many people as possible to these authors we picked. I’ve already been in contact with some of them about seeing if they can’t put their books on sale to coincide with the Book Bomb in order to pick up even more readers. That gets the authors more exposure but more importantly, that means they sell books and get paid (unlike Glyer).

There you go. Glyer-50-Hugos has gotten the International Lord of Hate on the record talking about controversial things like hand washing. If he keeps up this hard hitting journalism maybe he’ll score himself a few more Hugos.

LTUE starts tomorrow
Sad Puppies 3 Update
T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I really wish you’d have been specific about setting fire to small animals a bit earlier.

Now I need a fire extinguisher and to find my cat. :/

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Your cat’s over here. Plotting revenge. Something about balls and chewtoys I think, I’m a little rusty in cat.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Cool. Could you explain that Larry totally made me do it by not specifically telling me not to?

After all, that’s how Glyer thinks it works.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

I started to, then there was this fan-boi (fan-cat?) moment which devolved into muttering about “what Agent Franks would do”…

So I think it got worse.

Matthew
Guest
Matthew
2 years 1 month ago

The MHB’s motto wristband: WWAFD?

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Yep. I thought it was a flea collar, at first. The soot was kinda obscuring the letters.

But, then, it’s T.L.’s cat, so who’s surprised?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Fair enough.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

This is what happens when you convert everyone around you to fans. The cats get ideas.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Well crap.

Now to find an armored cup and make sure the 12 gauge is loaded up.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

12 gauge? Might want to gun-up. I’m shoulder surfing here, but that looks like a search string for “kitty combat armor.”

Ooo. Just added “powered.”

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Great. Now I need the RPG Jason mentioned using against dropbears.

This just isn’t my day. Thanks, Larry! If you’d have been a bit more specific to start with, all of this could have been avoided.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

I know, right? Fortunately I procrastinate, so I can just put the gasoline back in the garage and dodge all the trouble.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

That’ll teach me to be an early adopter. :/

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

I hear ya, man. It’s a bummer.

Here, have a snickerdoodle, it’ll cheer ya up.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Don’t start your snickerdoodle shit now. I’m a dead man walking!

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Not snickerdoodle shit, man. Snickedoodle cookies!

No wonder you don’t like ’em, you’ve got the recipe wrong.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Actually, I may need to cookies after all.

A rock just crashed through the window. A note tied to the rock said, “Hell is coming, and that’s the least of your worries”.

The cookies…I just…I think I need the cookies as payment.

I know big blue is a risk, but…

I mean, it’s me or the cat, you know?

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Ooo. Explains that long phone-call, lotta muttering and hissing.

Hm. You may be right. I’ll get a special batch going, but only if you hold off on ringing the blue bell until I get this damn charcoaled feline outta my house!

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Besides, I talked the little charred fur-ball out of the powered stuff (designed by dogs, I said), so now it’s a search for plate.

This kitty’s going to need some gym time to carry plate. Gives you time to refine your emplacements…

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

On the upside, my time in the 40 has really improved. Now someone please come help me get these scissors out of my eye.

Bruce
Guest
Bruce
2 years 1 month ago

SSSHHHHHHHH!!! don’t mention cookies! you’ll wake up the cookie monster again. you remember what happened the last time he went on a rampage! It still gives me nightmares!

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

T.L. may have no choice! This cat’s got friends. Dirty, slinking friends. The kind sane people don’t talk about.

If he ends up with a fish-head on his pillow — well, who’d blame him?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Worse.

There are fish, and even a couple of dogs, impaled in my front yard. It’s enough that Vlad would be queasy.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago
Great. Just great. Larry fails to state the obvious, and you just had to test your Zippo on a retired enforcer for the feline mafia (oh, yeah, I got the story!). Then here’s me. Answering the door and letting some singed hairball in ’cause “I’m a friend of T.L.’s, just need a place to lay low.” Oh, yeah. Great. Running up the long distance, ordering armor (fancy stuff, filigreed), and surfing cat porn (noisy, is what that is). You call in a blue strike, just lemme know, I’ll take a little vacation. Just make sure you pay the extra for… Read more »
T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

You better go to ground right away.

I’m calling Blue in. I have no choice. I have a family.

And burn your computer. I’m pretty sure that kitty porn is illegal.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Already gone. “Fluffy” started casting looks over a shoulder and muttering into the phone again.

As to that computer, puff-brain doesn’t realize I’ve been on Ath with that machine. Fed the Fred’s all up in it and your little hirsute terrorist forgot to cover the web-cam…

I left an extra platter of the good snickerdoodles on the counter, as a tip.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

He’s left there too. Intel reports that he left about two minutes after you did. His whereabouts are unknown.

He’s coming here. I know it. His crew is already here. “Oh writer-boy. Come out and plaaaaaaaay,” they yell.

I’m still trying to find Blue. God help me, but I think I’m going to have to give him free reign.

May God have mercy on my soul.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Dammit! From grumbling to serious in no time! Must’ve been biding time with that porn.

Hunker down and keep trying Blue. I’m gettin’ some guys together. The canine crowd may not be as intense as those feline mafia howlers but there’s still some rough (ahem) fur out there, and they know where the teeth go.

Stack your mags and arm the claymores, we’ll get some paws in the mud soonest.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

They need to bring a lot of dogs. A LOT.

They’ve already impaled a dozen or more. Have them stage off site, otherwise they’ll take the dogs out one by one. They’re like the Predator or something.

Dogs…that last one…Oh God, they horrors they visited on that poor pooch. They made it last for hours. I’ll hear his cries in my nightmares.

I did manage to get hold of Big Blue though. He was in the Middle East, but he’s got ways to cross the distance quickly.

Will it be quick enough? I mean, I’ve got a family.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago
I know you’ve got your eyes on the enemy, but spare a glance over your shoulder. I got confirmation your family was out 10 minutes ago. Those tunnel puppies are fast. You know the pack, women and children first. There was a debate about pulling you, but we need you holding their attention. We had some eager pups jumping the gun and paying the price, it sucks. But don’t worry about that old hound howling in your yard, he volunteered. He always did have a strong bay, and he knew what he was in for. Said he was tired of… Read more »
T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago
I’ve been engaging targets of opportunity, but after my last range trip, I’m low. I’ve got about two and a half mags left. That’s not going to be enough. They got the old hound. It was awful, but he put up a valiant effort. There wasn’t anything he could do. The felines outnumber the blades of grass out there right now. The tunnel puppies have broken through, but counter-sappers took down their tunnel a few minutes after. They’re going to try and dig back out, but I’m not worried about it too much. They did get my family out first.… Read more »
Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Tell those puppies to screw the tunnel! Plus up the berm! Single-minded twits…

As for that sniper, I’ve got a Newfie with a fondness for the McMillan working into position, keep down and keep your head on.

I’ve sent some Labs to fetch more ammo, but without some heavy air I don’t know how we’ll get it to you. (The buzzards are squawking conflict of interest. Still negotiating.)

As for noble gestures, your family told me (with tearful appreciation for your sacrifice) that if you died they were gonna come hunting me. So — take a shot of the Irish and buck up!

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I’ve got a note here. If anything happens to me…well, just make sure they see it. I know you didn’t do this. it’s just…one mistake. One instance of not being told explicitly to not do something and…well, it was a good run if nothing else.

I think I hear the McMillian at work now. I’m out of ammo. Luckily, I’m running the M203 right now, so I’m still in the fight.

I hear a helo in the background. It might be…

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Little delay on Blue, the FAA is trying to ground him and they’ve got a police helo harassing his flight path. Guy really twists their knickers.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

Would some light air support from flocks of Cockatiels help? They’ve no love for the feline menace either, and what they lack in size they make up for in sheer unflappableness.

No joy on the swallows though, they’re still arguing physics.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I’ll take all the help I can get.

As for the swallows arguing, are those the African, or European?

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

European. The African crowd has degrees in engineering, so they solved the problem ages ago. Trouble is now you can’t pry them away from their cushy job working for Big Bird contracting.

The grumpy old bird in charge answers to Earendel, just try not to make ee contact and it’ll be fine.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Ah, the European crowd.

Isn’t this the time of year they take their mandatory three week vacation anyways?

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

True. What do we offer them though?

If we can entice them it’s worth it – the Cockatiels are good for saturation bombing, but the Swallows are artists with HE.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Anything. I need both.

I swear I think I just heard a mecha out beyond the houses across the street…

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

There we go. You okay giving the Swallows salvage rights on the Mech?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Do it! I don’t have time to negotiate!

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

Right. Swallows are in.

Turns out one of them is dating Private, and he off-hand mentioned the Mech to Kowalski.

Expect penguin commandos within the quarter hour.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I could use it. I think Big Blue is almost here, but even he might have trouble with the numbers we’re looking at. Any help is appreciated.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Confirmed sighting on the mecha, one of my Chihuahua scouts got eyes on.

The (logistical) tail on that thing’s gotta be a nightmare. Larry really let you in for a furball, what with not explicitly stating the obvious…

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

It’s worth it but… Heaven help us if Rico and Blue trade ideas.

Old Grumpy is sending a wing after the mech. Maybe if the can hit some joints, slow it down…

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago
Blue hit the ground and…oh God. His battle cry of “Coooooookie!” ripped through the air like a rifle shot. No weapon, no nothing. I looked and just knew this was going to be it. I was about to witness the death of Blue. So many nightmares he’d populated and this was it? He was going to meet his end at the hands of the Russian feline mob (there are tattoos on some of those outside). They tried to swarm him. He…dear God…I mean, they were trying to massacre my whole family, but what came after… He cut a swath through… Read more »
Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Thank goodness they were just oatmeal cookies. Imagine if they were chocolate chip.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I…the PTSD is bad enough as it is that I…

Everything is red…I can’t even contemplate what chocolate chip would have done.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

…the Swallows are slowly, carefully carting off the pieces of mecha. They’ve apparently worked out a harness system to carry them in teams. They’re mad to go in for retrieval this soon but, well, mecha tech.

I’m having trouble reaching any of the Cockatiel officers. They took heavy losses, even before Blue showed up.

Does anyone have a visual on the penguins?

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Penguins are recovering in a freezer truck.

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Plaid.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

This bloods not on you, man (well, some of it is. Anybody got a rag?). It’s not on you, how could you know?

But, think — if it weren’t for Glyer 45 it could’ve been so much worse!

By the way, I hear SOCOM keeps double chocolate chip on hand to get Blue back out of country.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

…did, did anyone remind th swallows to disable the mecha trap we ended up not using?

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Um…

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Mole engineers destroyed it in place.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

Yeah, those moles. Hard working bastards, always cleaning up everyone else’s mess.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Big Blue is on the ground! I say again, Big Blue is on the ground!

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Alright! I’m pulling my guys back, I don’t need any of my dawgs caught on the fringes of that nightmare.

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

I’m sending in my Mastiff Heavy Infantry to screen your withdrawal.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

The Cockatiels are dropping catnip bombs over the whole field, should give you a good distraction.

The Swallows report they’ve set a trap for the Mech, but Blue has to lure it a block West.

And the Penguins… they must be crazy. They’re volunteering to watch his flanks.

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Mastiffs are down due to a technical fault. I thought the problem with drool shorting out the powered armor was fixed?

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

Get the Swallows to take a look. They might be able to help.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Hell. Maintenance probaly didn’t flush the suction tubes, again. With that kind of volume you can’t let it slide…

Hope that catnip cover holds.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Thanks, man. These guys are tough, but most of ’em are light-fighters nose to tail.

Alan S.
Guest
Alan S.
2 years 1 month ago

Darn peeps, that’s better than the last thing-with-a-Hugo that I attempted to read already.

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I need to package this up for future re-reading. That, gentlemen, was hilarious. 🙂

Christopher M Chupik
Guest
Christopher M Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

“I made a joke that I also never specifically told Sad Puppies supporters not to set fire to small animals.”

(Puts down flamethrower, backs away from the cage of hamsters)

Locutor (@Elocutioner)
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Make sure you lock that up, I’m pretty sure Torgersen is around here somewhere.

Andrew
Guest
Andrew
2 years 1 month ago

Friend of mine with a squirrel.
?oh=44e7fb5e819a0d847ef9f58dbfd64f71&oe=554F6FFB

Also an MHI fan.

Waldors
Guest
Waldors
2 years 1 month ago

I much prefer a broiled starfish to a spit roasted one myself, lets the juices really leave a discernablentaste as they evaporate.

tigertomcat
Guest
tigertomcat
2 years 1 month ago

Help!!!! think gonna bust something from the laughter. Thank the gods wasn’t taking a drink when started to read. 🙂

Joel Salomon
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I’m disappointed in you, Mr Knighton. Not setting the cat on fire is one of the first lessons children must learn…

snelson134
Guest
snelson134
2 years 1 month ago

Because they know where you sleep:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48pnuZkFluc&w=560&h=315%5D

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Totally not my fault. The International Lord of Hate didn’t explicitly tell me not to do these things, so how was I supposed to know?

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I’m trying to stifle my gigglefit so I don’t wake the baby after reading your back and forth but damn, I’ve seriously missed reading MHN, ATH and MGC’s comment streams, especially when y’all decide to take a joke and run off with it to Baen’s rocket ship.

Seriously, I missed you guys XD

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

We missed you too. 😉

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Did a post about my boy’s first few days at home.

Captioned of course, because I’m really enjoying having the little man home.

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

Missed you three. Glad that you’re back. 🙂

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

You’ve been missed, as well. Hope the little man is doing well, much to do what with taking over Australia.

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Or run off with it IN Baen’s rocket ship. Hey, Toni left the keys in it, in this neighborhood…

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Oh, it’s not that big of a deal. We brought it back in the exact same condition we found it in.

More or less, anyways.

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

I’m sure the Tarquinian Death Ray burns on the hull will buff out…

eventually.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Those were NOT my fault.

It wasn’t my idea to drag race the Vordinian Fleet after mooning them out of the window.

But it was fun. 😀

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Ah, the adventures that will be had…!

Quirel
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

“Do not set fire to small animals. That would be mean and bad.”

“But… it’s PUFF eligible.”

“Well, then that’s a monster, not an animal. Torch the bastard.”

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I think we all agree that if it’s PUFF eligible, killing it with fire is always acceptable.

Joel Salomon
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Don’t you need some sort of remains to be able to collect?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Ashes qualify as “remains”.

Kinda.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I thought they needed to be identifiable… at least to get the PUFF.

Quirel
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Not sure if killing with fire is always acceptable; there got to be some kind of nasty out there that’s immune to fire.

As for identifiable remains, just lop off a finger, claw, or prehensile ovipositor before chucking the rest into the bonfire.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I’m pretty sure fire is to the monster world what bleach is to germs and viruses.

pavepusher
Guest
2 years 19 days ago

Sigh…

There’s a ‘PUFF the Magic Dragon’ joke around here somewhere….

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

You guys need to turn that whole back and forth into proper story format. It’s bloody hilarious!

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 26 days ago

I think that might take something away though.

Jared Anders
Guest
Jared Anders
2 years 1 month ago

Perhaps for an encore he can talk about how we’re really all sockpuppets, and therefore not real fans.

Andrew
Guest
Andrew
2 years 1 month ago

The insinuation that we are all sockpuppets is insulting and exclusionary of the socking and tights puppets and non-cismarionettes among us.

pavepusher
Guest
2 years 19 days ago

You now owe me one large mouthful of pretty good Irish Coffee….

Insectress
Guest
Insectress
2 years 1 month ago

I, for one, appreciate your reminder on hand-washing, treatment of animals, and looking both ways before we cross the streets. Without these constant reminders, I would randomly wander into traffic with dirty hands carrying flaming animals. Like ya do.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest
Eamon J. Cole
2 years 1 month ago

Like ya do.

I may have ruptured something.

😀

Guest
sabrinachase
2 years 1 month ago

I’m thinking if you are carrying flaming animals and wandering into traffic your hands, regardless of their initial state of cleanliness, would not pass inspection shortly thereafter. Just a guess.

Andrew
Guest
Andrew
2 years 1 month ago

I usually wear gloves when dealing with flaming animals. Claws… So clean hands could be an issue.

David MacKinnon
Guest
David MacKinnon
2 years 1 month ago

Attention SJWs……

Before engaging in poking large, potentially dangerous, predators (Lions, tigers, bears, manatees, or Requires Hate forbid, a Correiakin!) in their cages, PLEASE, in the name of Michael Moore, please, please, please make sure there is actually a cage first.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled stupidity.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

or Requires Hate forbid, a Correiakin!

…Woke the baby laughing. well done XD

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 27 days ago

Interesting how the British SF Awards just nominated the biggest intersectionalist racist in SFF history for an award. Guess they think she’s a U.K. citizen with extensive knowledge of Thailand. Gee, I wonder who that could be? I’ll tell you this: she ain’t no Asian.

pavepusher
Guest
2 years 19 days ago

‘Correiakin’.

Well, there’s a word you don’t see in use every day….

Miguel
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I thought Larry was talking about Oriental Cuisine….

snelson134
Guest
snelson134
2 years 1 month ago
pavepusher
Guest
2 years 19 days ago

And we wonder why cats are assholes to us…..

Matthew
Guest
Matthew
2 years 1 month ago

Looking both ways simply exercises your sight privilege. Report for reeducation, citizen!

Christopher M Chupik
Guest
Christopher M Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

“talking about controversial things like hand washing”

Check your plumbing privilege, Larry!

grayrinehart
Guest
grayrinehart
2 years 1 month ago

Your admonition not to set fire to small animals made me think of Frank Hayes’ famous filk song, “Never Set the Cat on Fire.”

Never set the cat on fire, you only will annoy it
The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won’t enjoy it
Likewise do not ignite the dog, the snake, the gerbil, or the frog
No, never set the cat on fire

Thanks for the chuckle!
G

Sir Brass
Guest
Sir Brass
2 years 1 month ago

Thanks, Larry. I never would have known about the handwashing thing if not for you. Truly, it was as mysterious and unknown as putting the toilet seat down when one is no longer a bachelor….

Trigger warning: bathroom humor 😛

Murgy
Guest
Murgy
2 years 1 month ago

Ahem. Trigger warning comes first. (Roy Roger’s horse pix not included.)

Further, it’s “Loot, Pillage, THEN Burn”.
(I know, Larry didn’t tell us that, but it was intuitively obvious, wasn’t it?)

🙂

Wes S.
Guest
Wes S.
2 years 1 month ago

“Loot, pillage, THEN Burn!” Doesn’t “rape” fit in there somewhere, too?

…I mean, we don’t want to leave a single SJW trigger un-pulled, now do we? OTOH, that could lead to Kirsten Gillibrand laying siege to the blog, by organizing a mob of crazy feminists toting mattresses, so perhaps not.

😛

gnardopolo
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Is listening to the audio book the same as reading? We have to know these things up front! We cannot has think for ourselves, we might think wrong thoughts!

Brad R. Torgersen
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I am sure glad someone reminded me to take the parking brake off, before I pull out of my driveway! That crafty Glyer guy, nothing gets past him! Thanks for reminding us of the tacitly obvious, Larry. Maybe now Glyer can go back to inventing more creative reasons to dislike us?

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

Daily reminder: after you buy a book, read it at some point in your life. Plus, don’t cut off your own arms – ever. Cute kitty cat potato salad is right out. Don’t even think about that.

Do I get a Hugo now or do I have to write about the unknown women who charged the wall at Fredericksburg and were erased from history by Union misogynist generals. And don’t forget about the time radical feminists occupied the offices of Ladies Home Journal during the Vietnam War because occupying the draft offices was considered too dangerous.

Mike in Seattle
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Don’t cut off your own arms? That’s triggering for the bilaterally asymmetric!

Dawn Dreams
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

>>after you buy a book, read it at some point in your life.
Gulp. That’s a lot of books. Guess I can never die then. *perks up*

Pugmak
Guest
Pugmak
2 years 1 month ago
“Plus, don’t cut off your own arms – ever.” Huh?!!? But, but, but… What if, say, I got bit by something really nasty and the bite, say, happened to be on my arm! and the only way I can survive is to cut my own arm off? Or, maybe, Mr. Knighton says “cut off your own arm, or I’m gonna burn this cat and it’ll be your fault!!” ? What do I do then? We’re specifically ordered to avoid the burning of critters. I can see a general “try not to cut off your own arms” general advice, but the… Read more »
T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Regarding your second example, worry not. Larry has no forbidden the burning of small creatures, therefore such a threat won’t be uttered by me.

Large animals, however, are still on the table.

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Of course we have to be able to burn large animals! How else would we eat steak? (Yum)

snelson134
Guest
snelson134
2 years 1 month ago

As a buddy of mine once ordered his:

“Wipe it’s *ss, trot it past the grill, and bring the steak out here.”

This was in the days before cell phone cameras; the look on the waitress’ face was priceless. After a couple of minutes, she quavered, “Did you mean rare?”

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I personally prefer my steak walked through a warm room, but Burning Large Animals was a joke that demanded an attempt! 😀

av willis
Guest
av willis
2 years 1 month ago

I don’t know, all this talk about not cutting off one’s own arms is coming across as cis-symmetric

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

“Although it is not specifically stated on your movie ticket, best accepted practice after buying a movie ticket is to go inside and watch the film. Do not wander out into the parking lot or take a nap.” – excerpt from The Feminist’s Guide to Civilization.

Bruce
Guest
Bruce
2 years 1 month ago

Is it wrong that I first read that as, “…the tactically obvious…”?

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

Other things social justice warriors like to passionately promote without reading:

Their own race and sexual harassment policies.

RightWingProf
Guest
RightWingProf
2 years 1 month ago

Glyer’s blog is called File 770? I thought the trash bin was called File 13.

Toni Weisskopf
Guest
Toni Weisskopf
2 years 1 month ago

File 770 refers to Room 770, in which a legendary party was held at the first New Orleans Worldcon. Scoff not.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

I find that singularly inappropriate. Shouldn’t it be called File Trigger Warning: Harassment and Rape?

Brian Niemeier
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Looking at the guest list makes “legendary” seem like an understatement.

Fritz Leiber, Robert Bloch, Judith Merril, E.E. “Doc” Smith, L. Sprague de Camp, and John W. Campbell–just to name a few.

To have been a fly on that wall…

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

You would’ve had your fly-ass pinched if not raped.

SBP
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

All ciswhitemales except for Merril. Not a single omnisexual werecrablice of color in the bunch.

SBP
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Please note that the preferred term is “werecrablice”, not “werecrablouse”, because “werecrablice” is inclusive of those with multiple personality disorder. Singularist = sexist.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

I’m not sure why anyone is surprised. This is a culture that routinely makes pompous declarations they are against rape as opposed to the vast tide of men-culture that advocates rape.

I’m surprised their convention harassment policies don’t include zero tolerance admonitions to not murder other guests or polish your eyes with grit.

All of SJW culture is a paranoid straw men edifice of things no one actually does other than SJWs themselves: see molesto-youth-liberation and racial segregation.

Brian Niemeier
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

And never put salt in your eyes.

saintonge235
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

        And never use a compressed air rocket launcher to shoot pepper into your brother’s eye, either.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

@saintonge235: Or hold a compressed air can upside down over your brother’s eyes.

I overheard yesteray that one’s laptop would not be happy experiencing that. I would guess that one’s visual organs would not fare much better.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

“Do not check your privilege by using a screwdriver on the access panel under your ribcage. There is no such panel.” – excerpt from The Feminist’s Guide to Civilization

Apollo
Guest
Apollo
2 years 1 month ago

Think you need to be more specific Larry.

“You should read stuff before nominating it for awards.” … AND only nominate it if you believe it is worthy of the award.

You might also want to amend your road crossing advice with a qualification that you should only cross IF after looking both ways you determine that there are no vehicles coming that are likely to strike you in transit.

Just helping out because I don’t want you to be misinterpreted again…

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

You mean we DON’T check if a firearm is cleared by looking down the barrel?

Guest
sabrinachase
2 years 1 month ago

WE don’t. THEY do.

Bruce
Guest
Bruce
2 years 1 month ago

And pulling the trigger while doing so.

Ken Burnside
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

You should also double-check preoperative codes when checking into the hospital.

https://www.facebook.com/ken.burnside.52/posts/10205913915515406?comment_id=10205914024518131&notif_t=like

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

Boy oh boy, you get someone else’s insulin ONE time….

Andrew
Guest
Andrew
2 years 1 month ago

So, no squirrel on a stick? What about chicken? I was hoping for fish tonight, but didn’t want sushi.

Sara the Red
Guest
Sara the Red
2 years 1 month ago

Ahhh, this post and the comments section brightened my otherwise dull afternoon.

I’ve never even heard of this Glyer twit. How did he get 45 nominations…Hang on. Is he throwing a hissy fit because someone might take a closer look at the ‘how’ of that one?

El Verde Loco
Guest
El Verde Loco
2 years 1 month ago
I might add for the Lord of Hate, in response to Glyer’s original demand that you did not ask things to be read, that if we go all the way back to the original call for Sad Puppies 2: “Over time this lame ass award process has become increasingly snooty and pretentious, and you can usually guess who all of the finalists are going to be that year before any of the books have actually come out or been read by anyone, entirely by how popular the author is with this tiny group.” http://monsterhunternation.com/2014/01/14/sad-puppies-2-the-illustrated-edition/ His charge that you do not… Read more »
CombatMissionary
Guest
CombatMissionary
2 years 1 month ago

[LIGHTS MATCH, EXTENDS MATCH TOWARDS PYRE WITH SMALL ANIMALS ATOP IT, QUIVERING IN FEAR]
[PAUSES THOUGHTFULLY]
“I wonder what the International Lord of Hate would say?”
[EXTINGUISHES MATCH, REACHES FOR TABLET]
“Boy! Glad I checked!”
[RELEASES WOODLAND CREATURES]
“Well, you guys can thank Larry that you’re not simmering in BBQ sauce right now! THANKS, international Lord of Hate!
[HUGS TREE]

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

Trigger warning: rolling on the floor laughter.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

…but.. I heard that roasted squirrel was yummy and wanted to try some… Q_Q

BobtheRegisterredFool
Guest
BobtheRegisterredFool
2 years 1 month ago

Squirrel is part of my cultural heritage. You have my permission to call anyone who objects a racist.

Dyrewulf
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Love the book bombs – feeding my need to read with authors I usually hadn’t encountered before 🙂

Bruce
Guest
Bruce
2 years 1 month ago

…and raping my checking account.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

I’m sure your checking account was asking for it.

gnardopolo
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Victim blaming! That’s another capital SJW offense right there.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Look, if his checking account hadn’t been dressed so provocatively…

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Trigger warning!!! *Obligatory victim blaming*: Your checking account was asking for it, getting drunk & high at that frat house party, wearing that miniskirt & stiletto heels with no underwear…………..

(Think that was enough to make some radfem have an aneurysm?)

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Here’s hoping.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

If the account is a privileged checking account, it won’t count for victim status.

Guest
NR Pax
2 years 1 month ago

*looks over at pile of wood surrounding an elephant*

Err…what about large animals? Is that still a go?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Since Larry hasn’t said “no”, then you’re obviously good to go.

Guest
hlvogel
2 years 1 month ago

I’m relieved, because last night I went to the local agricultural college with my flame thrower. They’re going to be really surprised when they check the dairy barn today!

But I did make sure to get all the rats out of the building before torching it, insuring no small animals caught fire.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Good call!

I mean, he’s already made it clear that small flaming animals is bad. Cows are not small, and with no specific instructions to the contrary…

Doug Northcote
Guest
Doug Northcote
2 years 1 month ago

Yeah, what about YardMoose? It probably deserves it for being on the same mountain as the awesomeness of the ILoH.

Maybe not deserves, but how about asking for it for its Yard Moose’y looks?

That went so wrong so fast. /shaking head.

Tully
Guest
Tully
2 years 1 month ago

If you’re setting fire to small animals, you’re cooking them wrong.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

That, or that’s how they put the request through to the kitchen.

Patrick Mullane
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Is this thread eligible for the Hugo’s, as it certain seems to trump the entertainment factor of some prior winners of that award.

Guest
NR Pax
2 years 1 month ago

Needs more gender identity confusion first.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Well, my cat is a transsexual lesbian. Does that count?

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

Not “confusion,” “abolition.” Consider yourself heteronormative and go stand in a cis-corner of oppression and privilege.

60guilders
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Mr. Knighton, I’m surprised at you. (shakes head)
You are unaware that your cat is the first otherkin to have successfully made transition?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Well, there’s that too.

Generally, I tried to respect his/her privacy. Until Larry failed to mention that I wasn’t supposed to light him/her on fire.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

It should be, for next year’s.

Under what category though? =3

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago
File 770 “About” page: File 770 is a blog on the internet. The black symbols on a white background are not random constructs but letters that combine to form words. Words are meant to be read. See: Wikipedia entry. File 770 should not be construed to be any of the following: an actual file or rasp, a filing cabinet, a nail file, flying, the infield fly rule, life, a life boat, a submarine, the efil tower, a lighthouse, a lampshade, 76 trombones, femurs, lemurs, Madagascar, lascars, H.P. Lovecraft, arts and crafts, planetary ballistics or tinfoil. File 770 will not be… Read more »
saintonge235
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

        Glad you cleared that up.  Laughing silently, so I don’t awaken the wife … SHIT!  There I go displaying cisgendered heteronormative privilege again!

        Trigger warning: if you need trigger warnings, you’re a loony.

Sluf
Guest
Sluf
2 years 1 month ago

Great news about the book bombs. If there’s one thing Butcher needs, it’s a good book bomb. P.S. What about washing sad puppies after they go to the bathroom? Enquiring minds want to know.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

Bloop the Chimp showed up from the HInes World Crisis Rape Center.

Kristophr
Guest
Kristophr
2 years 1 month ago

This hand washing thing is triggering my E. Coli otherkin headvoice.

trackback

[…] Larry Correia in his own inimitable way now says he subscribes to the same view: […]

Khazlek
Guest
Khazlek
2 years 1 month ago
I’m not entirely sure how Glyer’s zillion Hugo nominations have to do with the system being broken. The market for novels contains vastly more people than the small pool of Hugo voters. There, encouraging a broader pool to nominate and vote has a purpose. Fanzines, on the other hand, are largely read by that small fraction of SF fans who consider themselves to be part of fannish culture. How many people could there be who actually read enough fanzines to have an opinion about which ones are award worthy? Is that pool really poorly represented by Hugo voters? I only… Read more »
julian t
Guest
julian t
2 years 1 month ago

I have to ask. are we supposed to burn manatees?

Guest
Draven
2 years 1 month ago

Haven’t you recommended many if not most of the SP3 slate, over the past year, anyway?

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

For those of you who paid your monies to Sasquan and still haven’t received a nominating/voting PIN. You can now look it up instead of waiting for an e-mail. Here’s the link:

http://sasquan.org/hugo-awards/pin-lookup/

Funny, they then instantly *send you an e-mail* when you submit the request. Oh, brother.

They put it out yesterday on twitter. They’re also celebrating 5000 members whilst lamenting 650 of them came in the last two weeks of January. Sad Puppies is having an effect, methinks. It’s not a Bad Thing to see fresh blood.

Coop
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

So, does this Glyer guy, having 45 Hugos, have any books under his name, or does he just leave all that up to his wife?

Coop
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Hugo nominations*

TomT
Guest
TomT
2 years 1 month ago

I think Larry was just reminding everyone of this filk. Never Set the Cat on Fire. By Frank Hayes.

http://www.sccs.swarthmore.edu/org/swil/FILKS/filkbook4.html#21

Wallbanger7110
Guest
Wallbanger7110
2 years 1 month ago

I’m from Kansas City. The application of fire to animals is practically required by statute. Preceded by dry rub and followed by sauce.

Oh, I’m sorry. You meant animals that WEREN’T dead yet? Silly me. Please try to be more precise in the future, lest you be misinterpreted by people with 666 Hugo nominations.

Wallbanger7110
Guest
Wallbanger7110
2 years 1 month ago

Note to ILOH: The above is yet another reason for you to attend MidAmeriCon for SP4. I would count it a great honor to show you around our fair BBQ establishments.

pdwalker
Guest
pdwalker
2 years 1 month ago

Who is the author? He must be better than the old Master if he’s gotten so many nominations.

Guest
2 years 1 month ago

No, he’s a long-time Fanzine editor. It’s a VERY small pool for that award. It basically rotated between File 770, Locus and Ansible until they declared Locus a “Semi-Prozine”.

If there are any folks I have sympathy for, it’s the guys who have gotten numerous nominations for best Fan Artist but never won, Taral Wayne and Steven Stiles (IIRC). I think they’re around 16-17 each.

pdwalker
Guest
pdwalker
2 years 1 month ago

Thanks. I’ve never heard of him before now.

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG
2 years 1 month ago

While we’re at it, Larry didn’t tell us to:
-not text and drive
-put all fires completely out -even if the cat ran off
-not french kiss snakes
-not swim while wearing a raw beef wetsuit
-not tug on Superman’s cape
-not taunt Happy Fun Ball (TM)
-not summon any Great Old Ones
-not try to give Chuck Norris a wedgie

Seriously man, it’s like he doesn’t really CARE!!

pdwalker
Guest
pdwalker
2 years 1 month ago

You forgot “don’t piss into the wind”. Think of the children!

Stephen J.
Guest
Stephen J.
2 years 1 month ago

And one does not under any circumstances whatsoever mess around with Jim.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

Arch gender abolitionist and student of intersectionalism John Scalzi disagrees about the complicated intersection of reading, an author’s name and passing judgment.

https://twitter.com/scalzi/status/564898839250087937

Here are other complicated patterns intersectionalism cannot account for:

In SJW lingo there’s mansplaining but no womansplaing. There’s whitesplaining but no blacksplaining. There’s dudebros but no cisbroads. There’s homophobia but no heterophobia. There’s Islamophobia but no Christianophobia. There’s misogyny but no misandry. Anyone else see a pattern to this mystery?

Gareth A
Guest
Gareth A
2 years 1 month ago

Yes I do – perhaps we should start calling them Social Injustice Warriors instead.

It’s clear they’re not for equal justice, but only advocate against injustices they disagree with. The ones that penalise good people like Larry etc. are fine. So yes, SIWs.

I notice nobody’s ever came close to actually addressing the points Larry makes. Didn’t one of them last time slander him as a wifebeater? I don’t see anyone on the SIW side condmening such lies, certainly not anyone with 45 Hugo Nominations.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

How about stunted children who don’t know the difference between right and wrong?

Joel Salomon
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Achievement Unlocked:
☑ 2. Dismiss!

Zsuzsa
Guest
Zsuzsa
2 years 1 month ago

So he dismissed the entire article based on the author having a funny name? Isn’t that a little…oh, I don’t know…”prejudicial”? Or possibly even the “r”-word?

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

In all fairness, I think it has more to do with the writer also being the Breitbart writer who has covered GamerGate…and not been particularly nice to the SJW crowd, therefore is unworthy of being read by someone of such refined tastes as Mr. Scalzi.

junior
Guest
junior
2 years 1 month ago

No doubt. He’s done a pretty good job of skewering some of the louder and more demented SJWs. His articles on the misandrist Silicon Valley blogger who had been an open white supremacist just a few years earlier were particularly good.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago
He didn’t do it cuz it was a funny name. He knows who the guy is and what Breitbart is. The point is Scalzi didn’t like it cuz it does this thing which compares facts and invites others to compare facts which is a game ace gender abolitionist Scalzi loses every time. That’s why he uses his dumbfuck “banhammer.” His post about the Charlie Hebdo massacre is a perfect example. He chided people for not being experts on Islam like he apparently is and then went on to portray the assassination of cartoonists because of “racism,” which had absolutely nothing… Read more »
Khazlek
Guest
Khazlek
2 years 1 month ago

He didn’t do it cuz it was a funny name. He knows who the guy is and what Breitbart is

In much the same way that the name Damien Walter on a byline is apt to make us perk up and look forward to Larry’s fisking.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

The difference is I’ll read Walter’s posts.

Nathan
Guest
Nathan
2 years 1 month ago

Scalzi’s working from tribal loyalty. One of his friends, Brianna Wu, was “harassed by Gamergate” – despite a history of grievance mongering and the questionable nature of some of her claims – and Scalzi picked his convention buddies over the truth. In all honesty, as much as Brianna waves her husband’s Hugos around, it wouldn’t surprise me if “harassed by Sad Puppies” became a future claim.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago
Scalzi put the banhammer on Breitbart because the free expressions of ideas conflict with Scalzi’s prog-programming and he starts throwing off sparks like that robot NOMAD in that old Star Trek episode Scalzi hasn’t ripped off yet and then he’s transported off into space while muttering “does not compute – the creator” and then he explodes because the closest Scalzi’s ever been to being a creator is xeroxing old SF stories. Once you get a taste of SJW humor by hearing “[enter meme here] is about ethics in journalism” for the one thousandth time just project that into their boring… Read more »
Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

Speaking of GamerGate, Law and Order SVU is doing a GamerGate-inspired episode. It’s Hollywood, so expect it to be hilariously wrong.

Guest
2 years 1 month ago
junior
Guest
junior
2 years 1 month ago

Speaking of Brianna Wu, a trending item on Facebook this morning was that she’d written an article stating that she’d received forty death threats, apparently since the start of Gamergate. The first thing that ran through my mind after reading that was, “Only forty?”

Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if Adam Baldwin has received more than that. And his main contribution was to publicize it early on and give it the name Gamergate.

junior
Guest
junior
2 years 1 month ago

Also, I should have noted this –

The Law and Order SVU episode about Gamergate is apparently so bad that even Kotaku (nominally on the side that the episode comes out in support of) thinks that the episode is a misbegotten mess.

James May
Guest
James May
2 years 1 month ago

How could a eunuch inviting death threats by accusing any video gamer who doesn’t believe eunuchs aren’t eunuchs of being a neo-Nazi supremacist homophobic woman-hater be characterized as a “mess”? That’s Washington parting the Delaware right there.

Foolish Pride
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

By his standards I would say this is some pretty hardcore homophobia and I’d respond but I’m taking a break from Twitter.

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik
2 years 1 month ago

So, Scalzi is dismissing an openly gay male? Damn, must be nice to hide behind the Shield of the Double Standard.

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Nah. I’m pretty sure that Milo’s positions make him honorary straight or something.

Isn’t it funny how the guys who want none of this to matter are the only ones it seems to matter to?

Guy
Guest
Guy
2 years 1 month ago

If they ever create a Hugo category for twitter threads I would nominate this one. In a heart beat. Very Enjoyable and Entertaining. (NC-17)

T.L. Knighton
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

An argument could be made for best related work. 😀

John C Wright
Guest
John C Wright
2 years 1 month ago

Perhaps Mr Glower or Mr Liar, or whatever his name is, lives in a universe where everything which is not forbidden is compulsory, and everything not compulsory is forbidden, so that the concept that one adult could talk to another about nominating a story for an award for being the best story you’ve read that year could assume we are talking about a story you’ve read that year as opposed to a story you have not read.

On second thought, if he is a Leftist and a SJW, that is indeed the world in which he lives.

Tarl
Guest
Tarl
2 years 1 month ago

A classic case of projection — he assumes we plan to do what his kind always do, i.e., vote based on politics or emotion, with no knowledge f actual fact required.

Kit
Guest
Kit
2 years 1 month ago

Dude, take it up with your commenters, some of whom *specifically* said last year that they weren’t going to read the non-Puppy nominees before voting.