Monster Hunter Nation

I love my Czech covers. They are so METAL!

Lovci Nemesis

That is just too awesome.

While whiny Americans are crying about cismale gendernormative fascism, and pasty authors are contorting themselves into awkward poses to protest sexualized covers, the Czechs say screw it, we want more guns, hot babes, and monsters. I can hear the heavy metal soundtrack as I look at these covers.

The Czechs are like “Patriarchy? What is this word? Is the succubus not sexy enough? Wait… Cis what? Do you mean we should make the werewolves on fire? We can do that. Dmitri! More fire! Now, why does this flabby man pose in his underwear like sexy pole dancer? You do not want to appeal to people who give you money? America is strange place.”

I love the Czech Republic. You guys rock.

The others are the same way.

Lovci Legion

Lovci Alpha

Lovci Vendetta

Lovci International

Another anthology I'm in, Shared Nightmares, includes an excerpt of my story "Father's Day"
More details about my upcoming fantasy series
Alan
Guest

Larry,

That should have been your RPG cover.

Tarl
Guest

The cover of your books says “BUY ME!!!!”

The cover of the (supposed) best-seller on Amazon today, which I know nothing about, says… “NEXT!”

http://www.amazon.com/Ticker-Lisa-Mantchev-ebook/dp/B00JJZ3QV2/ref=zg_bs_25_1

JB
Guest
To be fair, I think this “bestseller” (which I think has had its status upgraded due to being currently free to Amazon Prime members, and once it becomes #1 bestseller in its genre/sub-genre even more people see it due to that fact) appeals more to women readers than to male readers, unlike Larry’s books. I would be interested in this one, and yes, I am a woman. I would never have picked up Larry’s books based on their covers, simply because I would assume that they are not for me, but I found his website through a small article in… Read more »
Leit
Guest

Point of order: she’s not white, but… well… blue. Maybe Smurfette was the artist’s first crush?

JB
Guest

Leit, ha ha, true. The artist was probably trying to contrast the girl with the background and just used a Photoshop filter or something.

Shawna
Guest
JB, I think that’s my main critique about these covers and, to a lesser extent, the American covers. They’re trying so hard to appeal to a male audience that they almost tell a female audience (or the majority of it), “Move on, this book isn’t for you.” And that’s not a good representation of Larry’s writing and characters. Sure, there’s action and stuff, but his character development (of both male and female characters) is excellent and what really makes me fall in love with his writing. I’d seen his books several times on Audible before I finally picked one up… Read more »
Julie Pascal
Guest

I like the cover. It doesn’t scream “monster killing gore fest” but maybe that’s not what it’s about. I will say this, though… despite her lack of oversized frontage, this is still a sexy cover.

Shawna
Guest

I think it’s a nice cover, too. I think, IIRC, this is one of the monthly freebie choices for Prime members this month, which is probably why it’s at the top of the list. I got it but haven’t read it. I think it’s a steampunk story about a woman with a clockwork heart or something. Sounds potentially interesting.

Tarl
Guest

Whatever else it is, it is not a cover designed to appeal to men who want action, guns, and dead monsters.

Shawna
Guest

Haha! That’s quite true, Tarl. But that’s the beauty of books: there are so many kinds.

tamslick
Guest

Whatever else it is, it is not a cover designed to appeal to men who want action, guns, and dead monsters.

Okay. And…?

Shawna
Guest

Those are pretty cool, but I will admit that, as a woman, these would appeal to me more if they didn’t try so hard to make the women sexy (with the implausible breasts and cleavage and all). The succubus would be an exception to this, since that’s kind of their thing.

Also, I really can’t help reading the title as “Love Monster”, which makes me giggle.

BobTanaka
Guest

‘Love Monster’ is fairly appropriate for the ‘Nemesis’ cover; what with the succubus and all (and, from what we know of Franks, he might qualify also. Lots of energy and stamina. Probably should stop this train of thought)

Shawna
Guest

True, and yet also, ew.

Nothing against the offspring that resulted, but Franks/anyone is pretty darn nasty. “Can’t choose between necrophilia and literally consorting with demons? You’re in luck!” Naaaastyyyy. (And this coming from someone who loves a good vampire or werewolf love interest.)

jabrwok
Guest

I don’t think Franks actually qualifies as dead/undead. Sure, he’s made from dead body-parts, but they’re all ‘purified’ by the Elixir, and animated by chemical energy (he does eat after all…a lot!), and presumably the cells divide and minor injuries repair themselves. Plus he even reproduces sexually, which appears beyond the powers of the undead.

He’s certainly not “life as we know it”, but lumping him in with the undead doesn’t really work. If nothing else, going to MHI headquarters would’ve blown him up were he truly undead.

Shawna
Guest
I didn’t say he was undead, but he is made of dead people’s body parts. So having sex with him, a woman would be having sex with some dead guy’s penis without that dead guy’s consent. Sure, the guy’s dead so what does he care, but … it’s just gross. Think about it, say there’s a female agent whose brother also works at the agency. He dies, and it just happens to be at a time when Franks needs some body parts. Wouldn’t you think the odds that her having sex with Franks would go down at that point? I… Read more »
jabrwok
Guest
The Elixir apparently blends the DNA of all his parts-donors’, so his offspring won’t be the children of whoever he got his testicles from. More like a distant cousin. As for it being gross, or the original donor not consenting, well, I figure he’s just had lots and lots of transplants:-). We have real people who’ve gotten other people’s bits grafted on after all, possibly including penii (I’m not going to research that…sorry:-P). It’s not like they graft on stuff that they dig out of graveyards after all. Textual evidence implies that all Franks’ new organs and limbs are fairly… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

Hm… you make good points, jabrwok, but I’m going to maintain my opinion that it’s gross.

jabrwok
Guest

Fair enough. To each his own:-).

Jordan S. Bassior
Guest

Hardcore and violent as he is, I don’t think that Franks randomly rips pieces off of passerby and attaches them to himself. I assumed that when part of him wears out, he just waits for someone to die who has the appropriate intact body part. So I don’t actually see the big moral issue with the original ownership of his penis, or any other parts of his anatomy.

Steve
Guest

“Love Monster” is a great name for a band. Maybe Mosh Pitt’s next band.

dee
Guest

IMO, Thunduh Ork should be the name of Moshes new band, and their first album should be called, “Get To Da Choppah!!!”

BigFire
Guest

I’m sure that there will be plenty of Orc clamoring to get into the band.

RabidAlien
Guest

These are AWESOME!!!

jabrwok
Guest

I look at the cover of Lovic Monster Alfa, and all I can think is Ilsa, the Wicked Werewolf Hunter:-). Seig Heil, Baby!:-D

jabrwok
Guest

Ah, “Lovci”, not “Lovic”. Mea culpa:-P.

Doqz
Guest

It’s a pity so few things from that neck of the woods get translated. They tend to operate according to the same fundamental principles that governs their cover art. More or less the way Luc Besson has firmly decided that the height of cinematIc art had been achieved by the US 80s action movies and the only way to improve them would to to remove unnecessary dialogue and plotting that gets in the way of exploding stuff and ninja-fighting. Respect.

Blaine
Guest
Yeah, I think Divoci a zli (Wild and Evil) and Nocni klub (Night Club) from Jiri Kulhanek would sell well. His series fall off in the last parts of the last books, but there is fucking awesome beginning. Just the blurb from back of the Night Club 1: Do you want to survive one thousand years? Then you should be reading this book. If you don’t want to – here’s good news for you, graveyard plots will get quite cheaper. First half of the new book series from Jiri Kulhanek is full of unrelenting words, unrelenting secret organizations, unrelenting killers,… Read more »
Vasil
Guest

Blain if you like Kulhanek you should try Miroslav Zamboch too. SOme of his books are awsome. I think you would love Lihen (hatchery) – first book is much better than second, Predatori (predators), Visio in Extremis and In Nomine Sanguinis. But angain as far as I know its only in czech an polish.

byron
Guest

Like these, Who’s the artist and have they also done covers for Grimnoir Chronicles?

Jakub Mařík
Guest

Covers were made by Petr Willert.

And Grimnoir chronicles are freshly translated so works on cover just started.

Jakub Mařík
Guest

I finished translation last Monday.
Grimnoir is now on waiting corrector/editors list so it would be probably published as one of first 2015 books in January.

Jakub Mařík
Guest

In fact it was fun, Larry, you are one of the best translatable authors I ever worked on – great story, no unhealthy obsession with idioms, rich language (Czech is more sensitive on repeating words then English) and interesting puns, like PT abbreviation in Legion (thank to it they were Pervert dancers in our edition in one case with no similar PT Czech words).

Just your Grimnoir glossary was like living hell for me in some cases so if milk around your house turned black sometimes during last month, now you know from where curses originated. 😉

Blaine
Guest

OMG, Jakub! Thanks for translating Larry for us! I am looking forward Grimnoir in Czech so much. Don’t you know when can we expect it? Have you went back in our history for periodic feel in our language? I have no linguistic background, so I am not sure if modern Czech is different from Czech 90 years ago. Or did you dug deeper, back to the nineteenth century for Czech still “infected” with German?

simplemind
Guest

Dear international lord of hate:

You should have the Czech guys do all your covers from now on. (I know you won’t but, your current illustrators need to feel the heat. Thus, they may be inclined to draw less clothing next time.)

Shawna
Guest

Only if the clothing is less on the men, too. Equal opportunity objectification, yo. (I would not mind a shirtless Trip on the cover. Just saying.)

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

Go with a shirtless Franks. Looks like a roadmap of the Rockies…

Achillea
Guest

I could live with shirtless Franks.
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Achillea
Guest

oops. didn’t know that would hotlink, sorry.

Or maybe that would be hawtlink.

Arwen
Guest

Yes, equal opportunity objectification of hot people!

Wes S.
Guest

I’m thinking the Czech MHI Nemesis cover is going to be my new screensaver.

😉

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

Franks looks a little skinny. I always thought of him as stockier. Don’t tell him I said that.

Eamon J. Cole
Guest

Ah, those Czechs — good people.

Prague was good times. If I go back I’m gettin’ one of each of these!

fontofworlds
Guest

My favorite is the Werewolf killing frenzy. Excellent.

cw Minerly
Guest

Can you import those versions to America? I’ll buy a special collectors set- maybe 2, if I can get it in time for Christrmas.

Cap'n Jan
Guest
As a woman, I LIKE seeing those hyper-sexual men and women characters on the covers of these terrific books . What Larry has done is create a vivid fantasy world and it is peopled with perfect heroes and despicable villains. So this 64 year old can still be a 24 year ‘hot ticket’ at least in MY fantasy world – oh, and in the ones Larry has created for me. I know perfectly well who is looking back at me from the mirror, it isn’t the person that men would look at and say “Wow, what a stunner”. But in… Read more »
junior
Guest

Well, I’m not sure if the critics know what a “real woman” looks like either…

Did you see Elle’s new “plus-sized” model?

😛

Shawna
Guest
Interesting. Thanks for your perspective, Jan. We seem to have different reactions to ‘hot babes’ in books. Personally, I find that when characters are described or portrayed in various ways, I find it can serve to distance me from the characters. I’m trying to say this in a way that makes sense. I don’t really identify or feel the need to identify with characters in order to enjoy the story, but, say, if there’s a woman who’s described as tall (like many of the ones in Larry’s stories), part of my internal reaction is, “Oh, I’m tall. It’s nice to… Read more »
Steve
Guest
Shawna, as an extremely sexy, tall muscular man with great hair, I am tired of being sexualised. “I’m not some kind of love monster!”, I’ll say to my wife, as she grabs the Kindle off me and demands that I ravish her for the fifth time in an evening. Honestly, I don’t know where we would put any more kids, unless I move into the garden shed. It’s not just the wife though – reflective surfaces are a constant hazard. If I catch a glimpse of my soulful, brooding green eyes in the rear view mirror of my car while… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

Steve, I’m not sure if there’s some point you’re trying to make. If so, you might want to state it more clearly because I’m honestly not sure how your post is a response to mine.

Sometimes I wonder if the people on this blog are so used to enthusiastically agreeing with anything Larry says that even something that’s a respectful, minor disagreement is met with mockery. (And I say that as someone who generally agrees with what he says.)

Steve
Guest

Shawna, (I can’t directly reply to your comment below).

It was just a wee joke. No mockery intended.

Though I am available for part time modelling work if Larry’s publisher needs sexier men on the next batch covers. I will Blue Steel the shit out of them.

Shawna
Guest

Thanks for the clarification, Steve. With the internet, tone is difficult to read sometimes.

You know what would be funny? To see someone do a version of the MHI covers in a more female-oriented sexy style. If I had any artistic skills, I might attempt it, but alas. (I’m thinking combat-sexy Julie holding a gun and looking tough, with sexy Owen slightly behind her, shirt ripped up and bloody, holding a severed werewolf head. And maybe some fire/explosions behind them.)

crackpotcook
Guest
I get what you are saying – I have a very ‘childish’ ability to just dump myself into a story and ‘be’ there, whether the heroine or the Playful (not actually ugly, but definitely not leading lady material) Sidekick. I absolutely identify with most of the competent type of women in Larry’s books. Being a lifetime member of the Tomboy club, I tend to be more comfortable at Home Depot or Tractor Supply, than, say Dillards. Do all women want to be beautiful? Well, I don’t know. I sure wouldn’t mind, but that reminds me of something a really great… Read more »
Julie Pascal
Guest

I’m not tall but my name is Julie. 🙂

I don’t mind the cleavage on the covers at all. I wouldn’t mind not having it either. I do think that, in general, male characters are also sexualized it’s just that we do that differently with men, there are different visual cues.

Shawna
Guest
Julie – I keep hoping we’ll see Milo’s wife make an appearance some time, because I have a feeling I’d like her. 😉 I think that artists sexualize men and women differently, depending on if they’re trying to appeal to a male or female audience. Compare the hugely muscular guys on action covers to the muscular but leaner guys on romance novel covers. Men’s idealized view of men is big and muscular, and whether they have a nice face doesn’t really enter into the equation. In fact, make them too pretty and the macho manly type of men don’t like… Read more »
Julie Pascal
Guest
Shawna, I was talking to a romance author who knew her cover artist and knew he was gay. I’m not saying this because there is something wrong with that, but because, honestly, sometimes those romance covers feature guys that are a bit pretty for my taste. But yes, you’re right I’m sure. What guys want to imagine they are is different from what women want to look at. Bottom line, I think, is that none of it is supposed to be realistic, it’s supposed to be fantasy. When it comes to pictures (or game builds) of women, there is a… Read more »
Shawna
Guest
Julie – There is a fair bit of crossover between what straight women like men to look like and what gay men like men to look like, but there’s also, in my opinion, a clear distinction in many cases. (As far as romance cover guys being too pretty, I’d say that I think they’re nice to look at, but I tend to consider people that beautiful to be almost a different species than myself. As far as personal preference, I like a ‘cute’ look for guys rather than a ‘pretty’ or ‘rugged’ look. More of a ‘boy next door’ type,… Read more »
Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest
@ Shawna and Julie did a quick bodysketch for the two pinup-types. I was planning to do – male and female – but haven’t decided yet if I will put them in tigerskins, or skimpy chainmail. Thoughts? (these are very rough and I will clean them up much more.) I love seeing abs on men, but damn they’re hard to draw, for me. Women are easier simply because I can get up, strike the pose… or as close to it as I can get… in front of a mirror, and remember it in my head. One of the things I… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

Shadowdancer, either one would probably look good, but I’d vote for tigerskins just because it’s less often done.

I’m not an artist, but it seems like the tricky thing is that women have curves that lend them to easy posing whereas men tend to be squarish with less implication of movement in a static pose. Unless you actually had a well-built man to pose sexily for you, I could see how it’d be hard to come up with different poses. There are one or two I follow on Deviantart who sure are good at it, though.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

*grin* I get Rhys to pose for me. I also like Burne Hogarth’s books for it.

Tigerskin bikini it is!

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

+1,000,000,000 this.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

@ Cap’n Jan, Julie, Shawna, and the rest…

Here’s what I ended up with and had fun drawing for the pinup giggles: Lady Reaper, Sir Slayer

I may color it out sometime for practice. Enjoy!

Shawna
Guest

Ha, nice. I like it, Shadow. Would probably look good in color.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Glad you liked ^_^

Cap'n Jan
Guest

The guy just looks to elvish to me… Maybe a little less pretty? (But then again, I like the somewhat savage look ;->)

By the way, I just love your art!! Even the pretty boys!!

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Thanks! I’m glad you like it ^_^

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

By the way, one of the lovely ladies over at According to Hoyt linked this lovely fabric and I felt it would be QUITE remiss of me not to share it. *gringringrin*

James May
Guest

Is that 20,000 pixels wide?

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

No. 😛 I shrink down the final PNG image I upload to the Internet, which in this case is 33.33% of the original size.

I don’t think a lot of people would like to try download a few hundred megabytes.

James May
Guest

I meant is the original canvas size 20K.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I mentioned the original canvas size in the other comment. Scroll up.

Why do you want to know?

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Here. find the relevant section:
http://monsterhunternation.com/2014/11/11/i-love-my-czech-covers-they-are-so-metal/#comment-91285

I’m still not sure why the original resolution is important to you, or the pertinence, or the point of you asking.

Julie Pascal
Guest

I just saw these now. Very nice!

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

^_^ glad you liked it.

James May
Guest

You brought the subject up by listing exact dimensions, and I asked a follow-up question about the original canvas size for that sketch (which you don’t mention) because I am curious about canvas sizes. Do you know the original canvas sizes for those Lineage II pieces you mentioned?

I was just reading about the canvas sizes Jaime Jasso used in his 3D 16 bit illustrations for IMAX on the Avatar film.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

The original canvas size I worked with is the one with the 15+k pixel width.

The original canvas sizes for the Lineage II pieces, I vaguely remember being at least 4800… I can’t remember height or width though. It’s been almost 8 years. I do remember they were 600 dpi, since they were often used for billboard-sized banners and promotional things. Deviantart doesn’t like 600 dpi though.

What were the canvas sizes Jaime Jasso used? I’m curious.

James May
Guest
15,000 px on the longest side. He said they were by far the largest he’d ever worked with. The final renders presented were 4,000 px on the long side. They are very intricate, like the slower-than-light ship shown against Pandora’s landscape, a fantastic piece. Jasso is incredible. That’s why I was surprised when you mentioned 15k px. That must yield a monstrous file around 500 or 600 mb. That would slow a lot of computers to a halt and compromise the jitter on brushes. I’d be interested in knowing what canvas size the Final Fantasy artists use since their art… Read more »
Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

That’s alright. I’ll admit that I’m very headachy right now because I spent the whole damn day wrestling with the headache that is cafepress.

It is closing in on midnight in my part of the world, but I finally got a couple of things up on it for sale.

http://www.cafepress.com.au/affsdiary

But yes, I regularly slow down my poor art computer, just running photoshop.

robfornow
Guest
Cap’n Jan: You got the WHOLE POINT of fiction. Fiction is supposed to be bigger than life. Just like we don’t need to know where Franks got his last ???? He ain’t real. BUT- his concept is. We don’t go to the SFWA for a book because who wants to be a “Troubled ?sexual’ I don’t mind reading about a proud ?sexual; even if the whole idea of ?sexual is outside my taste. A hero is the above average man or woman. I like the song Jane Russell sang in the movie ‘the Tall Men’ (my case women) when I… Read more »
Coop
Guest

So, Larry, is there a reason you’re NOT petitioning Baen to release the covers for the American versions? And if there is, I’m telling you right now it’s not a good enough reason.

Coop
Guest

*These covers

Fruitbat44
Guest

To quote someone (David Drake?) “The point of a book’s cover is to sell the book, and furthermore to sell it to the audience which will enjoy it.” Those Czech covers look like two-fisted monster fighting fun.

Steve
Guest

These are great. I love the babes with guns and the awesome Punisher/Mad Max influenced pose in the last one.

Skippy’s looking surprisingly buff!

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Honestly, I never expected the orcs to be anything BUT.

Steve
Guest

I thought he’d be shorter and scrawnier, but I’ve read too much of Tolkien’s orcophobic propaganda 🙂

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I guess its’ my own mental cues. Goblins would be more wiry and scrawny to me, orcs are bigger, more fitting of the ‘pig’ description that tend to be used to describe them. And yes, that ranges from the overweight look to the “ohshi- wild boar run run run!” idea.

Shawna
Guest

I agree, Shadowdancer. Skippy looks pretty much as I’d expect him to. (Although actually, maybe I imagine Edward looking that way and Skippy looking slightly smaller/thinner. For some reason I can’t quite pinpoint. Maybe because piloting doesn’t seem like it would lend to as much muscle building as fighting.)

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest
I expect Edward to be MORE tightly wiry, actually. Less bodybuilding and more compact muscle, because swordfighting using slender blades seem to result in less bodybuilding but tighter, lithe builds. Skippy, being the leader of his tribe, I’d expect to look pretty buff, not just because of the bulk I’d see as a result of “I lift lots of heavy things” but as something expected as a display of strength for a warrior leader. That’s just me though. *dreamy smile* I remember when Rhys got out of basic. From wiry, slender looking martial artist to broad-chested, thickly muscled limbs… Didn’t… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

Ah, now that you point that out, Shadowdancer, that makes a lot of sense.

Alex O'Meara
Guest

Skippy seems… awful tall.

Coop
Guest

This is what the official illustrations of Skip and Ed look like. Apparently, they’re diesel as all fuck.comment imagecomment image

Oh, and Gretchen.comment image

Eamon J. Cole
Guest

Those work with the images in my brain. So much so that they are now the images in my brain…

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I LOVE THESE COVERS! LOVE THE EVERLIVING HELL OUT OF THEM.

Caps deliberate. I felt they were warranted.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Started hearing the theme song to Pacific Rim while looking them over again. Loving it!!!!!!!!!

Cadeyrn
Guest

Kickstarter. Signed covers. Now. (Please?)

suburbanbanshee
Guest

Talk to your Czech publishers about posters for sale! These are good.

And maybe Baen might need a new cover artist in their stable. Admittedly it might be difficult to work with overseas folks, but this style and this ability to portray actual action scenes is like sales wanting to happen.

Geoffrey Kidd
Guest

Can I get a set of high-res JPEGs of these anywhere? Pleeaasssee??? Koruna or Dollars, I don’t care!

Thank you for your time and attention.

Blaine
Guest

Sorry to disappoint, I kind of searched the net for the author and there are two guys in artistic community by that name. One is photographer who has galleries and contact info and the other is this illustrator. Who doesn’t have webpage or devart or even facebook.

byron
Guest

For some reason it’s not accepting my posts with links.. Put into google Monster Lovci and click ‘images’. Then Set parameters to Large size only. Gives you a few links.

byron
Guest

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byron
Guest

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Julie Pascal
Guest

I’m very tempted to stick some photo paper in my printer and use up all of my colored toner in one go.

David
Guest

I believe this belongs to the illustrator: http://www.comx.cz/kresby.php?autor=113
You can get his email by clicking on the ‘Petr Willert (Willda)’ link.

Captain Comic
Guest

The first thing that occurred to me was:

“What if Frank Frazetta wrote and drew ‘The Punisher’?”

Doug Northcote
Guest

We need these bigger… no no, I meant cover pictures!

Kevin W
Guest

See, my problem isn’t that the cover is too serialized, it’s just that Julie is smart enough to armor up, so these depictions don’t seem quite right to me.

Wesley Nichols
Guest

I understand and feel your pain.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I always have to stifle this reaction:

TRIGGER. SAFETY. FAIL.

CarlosT
Guest

Should we start writing it Lärry Cörreiä now?

trackback

[…] Now, onto something a bit more fun. I loved Larry’s reaction to his Czech book covers. […]

TRX
Guest

I’m unashemedly heterosexual and a fan of babes with big bazongas, but… wow, that’s a really nice suit!

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik

Well, it *was* a nice suit, until he wrecked the sleeve.

Pogonip
Guest

Why is that girl wearing black leather? Is her chain-mail bikini at the cleaner’s being polished?

Christopher M. Chupik
Guest
Christopher M. Chupik

Sales. 🙂

Pogonip
Guest

Chain-mail clearance! 40% off black leather! Buy one pair (bleep)-me shoes, get a whip FREE; two pairs, free bunion surgery!

Matthew
Guest

Well, chainmail bikinis have a +3 distraction bonus to AC, but the leather has a +2 distraction bonus AND a +2 armour bonus, lower encumbrance, and lower armour check penalty. Also, rogues, barbarians, and druids can use it without penalty.

(Can you tell I play D&D?)

Pogonip
Guest

I sure can; I didn’t understand a word of that!

I started reading Larry’s site during the Great Chain-mail Bikini Battle. I was upset that such a long tradition would be banned by scolds and was pleased to find a professional writer who agreed with me.

Shawna
Guest

On an only semi-related topic… I recently discovered that Star Wars TOR (an MMO) now has an outfit you can buy where the legs are just a metal bikini. Even on the men. I immediately started a Trooper and dressed him in that with all other gear invisible. I plan to make his entire Trooper squad fight in nothing but metal bikinis (except robot and maybe the woman). It’ll be interesting to see how much “Ew, that’s so gross!” harassment I get from insecure/hypocritical male gamers. (It’s not gross. It’s kind of hot and a lot hilarious.)

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

*smiles brightly* There will be screenshots of this uploaded and shared somewhere, right?

Shawna
Guest

If you insist, I’ll try to come up with something, though I don’t have a blog or much of a web presence. (Maybe I could tweet it.)

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

Photobucket might work nicely for that. ^_^

Shawna
Guest

Oh, right! Good call.

Patrick Chester
Guest

There are skimpy outfits in SWTOR, but several of them are for female characters only.

I think some of the ones available via the Cartel Market can be used by either sex, though. “Expert Fighter” is one, IIRC.

Forex can’t wear any of the armors and there are only a couple customizations for him, IIRC. That’s pretty much the same for the other droid companions.

Whether you put Elara Dorne in a bikini or not, she’ll still cite all the uniform regulations you’ve violated. 😉

suburbanbanshee
Guest

So, are they frogman stormtroopers? With the little breathmasks?

Patrick Chester
Guest

Hm. There *is* some armor types you could combine with Jori Daragon loincloth that would look like a diver. Though sadly the “backpack” parts of some torso armors can’t be detached to act like the scuba tanks.

Shawna
Guest

Hey, Shadowdancer: http://s46.photobucket.com/user/MetalBikini/library/

(I hope that link works okay. I don’t use photobucket much.) Sorry it’s somewhat limited. I just started the character, so I only just got the first companion. (I think when I get the female companion, I might make her the only one wearing full armor.)

This whole thing makes me giggle way more than it probably should.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

OMG THAT IS AWESOME! I’m gonna have to put it aside as a reward for getting some writing done, because I’m gonna grin and giggle myself silly.

That is a seriously tiny crotch cover. No rear shots? *wicked grin*

junior
Guest
Just noticed this, and pfft… You ain’t got NUTHIN’! Final Fantasy XI, in the level 1-15 range, had the infamous Bronze and Brass Subligars. Imagine the game, just a couple of weeks after launch (and again after the NA launch), and three-quarters of the players – male and female – wearing what is essentially a bikini bottom. Spellcasters (Black Mage and White Mage *only* at launch; more later) couldn’t wear it, and had regular pants instead. But everyone else could. And for most of the classes, they were the best in slot items (which at those levels, largely meant a… Read more »
Erica
Guest

I love, love, love these covers! I’m right there with Cadeyrn, signed covers 🙂

Pogonip
Guest

Feminism: the haunting fear that some white guy, somewhere, is enjoying himself. Especially if a chain-mail bikini is involved. And who in their right mind would take chain-mail bikinis seriously? Harrumph.

Also on matters sartorial, Larry’s hero in the first picture should consider wearing work clothes, rather than his Sunday suit, to go monster-hunting.

Matthew
Guest

It’s Agent Franks. I don’t think he has any clothing other than business suits.

Pogonip
Guest

FBI?

Matthew
Guest

Monster Control Bureau

Joe in PNG
Guest

There’s his sets of MCB combat armor too.

Shawna
Guest

The chain-mail bikini issue is actually more complicated than that, but it doesn’t sound like you really want to enter into a discussion on that topic.

James May
Guest

It’s a Frank Frazetta-free zone due to hysterical and one-sided definitions of sexism by daffy feminists. What’s complicated about that? The entire Golden Age of SF is persona non grata for the same reasons. The entire thing. They talk about Heinlein and Asimov like some people talk about Mussolini.

Shawna
Guest

The problem is that by discounting the entire concept of the argument because of the radical feminists, those on the side of white male gamers refuse to acknowledge that there may be a middle area of more reasonable criticisms which are held even by women on their own side.

James May
Guest

Such as…?

Shawna
Guest
Such as those of us who are less about wanting to stop men from having fun and more about wanting to be able to have fun ourselves (hence my comments elsewhere here about equal skimpiness options for male and females, and equal ability to even make characters who look good at all). It annoys me when all the skimpy options are female-only, and none for male. Would it not annoy you if all the skimpy clothing was worn by well-built pretty-boy characters and all the female characters were ugly, muscular women in full-body armor? If we’re talking about gaming rather… Read more »
James May
Guest

I already knew there were rude people in the world. What makes you think men have a lock on that?

Shawna
Guest

Does your short response mean you’re agreeing with everything else I said?

James May
Guest

If the way women were dressed annoyed me I would draw them myself rather than expecting people I’ve never met to pie-chart the universe to suit me. This is how needs are filled. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Generally speaking, short of hate speech and violence, I don’t care what millions of strangers do and millions of strangers don’t care what I think about what they do.

Shawna
Guest

So like I said, you really don’t want to have a discussion about this.

James May
Guest
Live and let live. There’s my discussion. Read Mixon’s blog about the RH thing. They are more hysterical than crowds of up to 500,000 Arab-Egyptians I was with on multiple days during the Egyptian revolution who saw their country on perhaps the brink of civil war. No one knew what would happen. The SJWs also hate me more, which is easy to say since I ran into not one rude person in Tahrir Square while receiving buckets of vile internet hatred from Nebula and Hugo nominees on a daily basis for my whiteness, colonialism and cis-normative male toxicity. How worked… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

James, this is kind of what I mean. You don’t want to have a discussion because you’re not listening to what I’m saying. I’m not defending the SJWs or talking about any of their recent kerfluffles. I’m just talking about my own thoughts based on my own observations and experiences. You’re so eager to lump anyone who disagrees with you in with SJWs that you’re not hearing what I’m saying.

James May
Guest

I hearing you. You said some guys don’t treat you with respect. That is evidence there is sexism. Who ever said there was no disrespect towards women… anywhere? There are always rude people somewhere.

What is there to discuss exactly? I’m baffled by what you’re even talking about.

Shawna
Guest

“What is there to discuss exactly? I’m baffled by what you’re even talking about.”

That’s my point exactly. You’ve refused to acknowledge some of the points I made or issues I talked about, have not answered the questions I posed, and redirect the conversation to your own problems with SJWs. It’s obvious you don’t want to actually hear my views on any of these issues, so I’ll stop wasting my time.

Shawna
Guest
Actually, James, I thought about this a little more, and I realized that first we need to back up and have you answer one question. Do you think that people who partake in a certain entertainment (be it books, games, whatever) should be able to discuss in a critical way things that they would like to see changed or think could be improved with that entertainment? If not, then you need to tell the whole internet that they’ve been interneting wrong. Except that would be a violation of the “live and let live” policy, which means you should probably just… Read more »
James May
Guest

Remember, racist sexist cismale gendernormative is intersectionalspeak for 14th amendment. They don’t like that.

And I think every cover should be some variation of a dinosaur attacking a submarine.

Cap'n Jan
Guest
Sigh…. Dinosaurs do NOT look hot in chain-mail bikinis. Neither do submarines, so where does that leave us? Giggle-snort. Give me Franks. Or say, Sullivan (oh, Larry, you write such GREAT characters! Bad boys!!! As Lee Child’s says, Character is King in writing). To me, and this is to me only: Fantasy is exactly that. My very active imagination allows me to totally ignore all of the ‘issues’ with a chain-mail bikini, or other ‘hot’ body armor. Particularly as my ‘settings’ tend to involve the oceans – even stainless can rust when it gets oily from skin contact. But not… Read more »
Shawna
Guest

Don’t forget, Jan, the types of radical feminists you describe are not only the enemies of all males on the planet, but of any females who don’t bow to their prescribed attitudes and join them in the warlock hunt. They’re just as angry at us for being gender traitors as they are for white males for being white and male.

crackpotcook
Guest
Boy, Shawna, you are so right. I’m so sick of the whiney, group-think that exudes from those spoiled little children that I could scream. They are the enemy. The annoying thing to me is that I consider myself a feminist. Certainly first-wave and for the most part second-wave. I was in Engineering school when I was the only ‘girl’ in thermogoddamics – the Prof of which told me I could not possibly pass his course. I hated that guy, but I got over it and I passed. That was a LOOOONG time ago. Still, I got there because I had… Read more »
crackpotcook
Guest

By the way ‘crackpotcook’ is also Cap’n Jan.

Shawna
Guest

*high-fives crackpotcook*

I agree with everything you said, and I think that we should all stop calling them feminists and call them what they really are: female supremacists.

Arwen
Guest

I agree with you both. Feminist women who want dictate my life really get on my nerves.

Achillea
Guest

Count me in, too. I don’t give a rat’s ass about video games, but I’ve had it up to here with the radfem SJW insanity making my entire gender look like psychotic imbeciles.

James May
Guest
They’ve become a laughing stock, and it’s going to get worse, a lot worse. That’s what happens when bigots are so convinced they have a free-fire zone for racist comments they don’t even check themselves. Put those quotes from the SFF community together with the quotes of the insane gender feminist academics from which they were inspired and the result is going to be explosive. Just as stupid buzzwords like like “privilege” and “rape culture” slowly entered our language, you now see “intersectionalist” and “gender feminist” entering the dialogue. People are becoming aware of the lies they’ve been sold under… Read more »
jimntexas
Guest

Larry, you are a bad, bad, bad man. 😉

Brian Niemeier
Guest

Marketing 101: the sole purpose of a book’s front cover is to catch shoppers’ eyes so they’ll read the blurb on the back cover.

The back blurb is there to entice them into reading the first paragraph, where a well-set hook will ideally lead to a purchase.

Shawna
Guest

Then is it weird that I frequently buy books based solely on the cover, and almost never read the first paragraph before buying?

That’s why I prefer covers that look like they portray a scene or at least show the characters, rather than what you get with a lot of literary fiction and even more one-off sci-fi these days, where the cover’s so vague I can’t really tell anything about the book.

Brian Niemeier
Guest

Marketing wisdom isn’t objective truth. It’s just what folks in marketing think. They’re the ones who pick the covers, so their logic dictates the art.

Support for your approach can be found among independent authors, who commission their own covers and often use the same criteria you mentioned.

Shawna
Guest

Interesting.

I think it would be nice if more often, authors who had clear ideas about the sorts of covers they wanted had more input. Especially if those ideas come from direct comments from their readers.

Brian Niemeier
Guest

“I think it would be nice if more often, authors who had clear ideas about the sorts of covers they wanted had more input.”

Most authors agree with you. Sadly, most legacy publishers give them almost zero say in the matter (Baen is the obvious exception).

Joe Konrath has published successfully in traditional and indie markets. His original publisher treated him so unconscionably (including giving his books bland, thoughtless covers) that he sued to get his rights back. He runs an advice blog for aspiring authors.

Check out what he’s been doing with his covers.

http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2012/05/ja-konrath-vs-stephen-king.html

Shawna
Guest

Hey, animated covers, that’s pretty cool. My preference is still for physical books (or audiobooks), but for e-books I can definitely see the appeal. For that matter, they could use the animated covers on the websites like Amazon where you buy the physical books. Maybe one day technology will even advance to where paperbacks can have animations like that on the cover. It’s definitely eye-catching, anyway.

DaveP.
Guest
I almost never buy based on the cover: after all, mostly the author has almost no input into what goes on the cover (e.g. Lois Bujold’s first Vorkosigan paperback had a cover originally intended for a Keith Laumer book) and, as Brian said, the purpose of the cover is to grab the purchaser’s attention,. not to reflect the content. Of course, the back cover can make me walk away pretty fast too. If I can count more than three generic F/SF cliché’s (the prince who was raised as a humble commoner who must join the ragtag band of adventurers to… Read more »
Brian Niemeier
Guest

“Lois Bujold’s first Vorkosigan paperback had a cover originally intended for a Keith Laumer book…”

Wow. I had no idea.

I know of more than one author whose complaints about bad covers were answered with, “Just stick to writing and leave the marketing to the experts.”

But marketing isn’t an exact science. It’s not unknown for indie authors who design their own covers to outsell traditionally marketed versions of the same books.

Shawna
Guest
What’s particularly frustrating is when it’s clear the person who designed the cover didn’t even read the book, maybe only a one-sentence description. Or when the back cover blurb makes it sound like a completely different book than it actually is. Or when they’re so generic/vague that the blurb would work for any number of books in that genre. I agree that if it doesn’t say anything about the book in blurb form anywhere on the cover, only reviews, I’m unlikely to be any more interested than I was on cover image alone. Less, probably, because now I’m frustrated that… Read more »
Dago
Guest

I dunno Larry… I’m starting to think your membership of the Evil League of Evil is a bit sketchy. I mean the woman on the cover is clothed and she doesn’t even have a collar.

James May
Guest

Are there any statistics on how many clips of ammo Kate Beckinsale expended while wearing a corset and skin-tight rubber body-suit…

…and in heeled booties?

Patrick Chester
Guest

She borrowed Mila Jovovich’s hyperspace arsenal from Ultraviolet.

richard mcenroe (@richard_mcenroe)
Guest

Oddly enough, the sights on her pistols were recently auctioned off to a fan as “New Condition—Never Used”.

James May
Guest
Has anyone seen Legends of the Cryptids artwork? It’s little more than softcore porn but illustrated by some of the best damn fantasy artists you ever saw. It kinda reminds me of those old mens’ magazine where they’d use master painters who’d go on to be put in museums as Civil War artists like Mort Kuntsler. It’s an odd contrast to see such talent put to such a weird purposes. On the other hand it explains why SFF, which had a reputation for childishness, eventually won so many people over. The writers and artists were dead serious about their craft… Read more »
Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

A quick search through Deviantart results in plenty of gorgeous results.

Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest

I’m… not sure what you mean by ‘softcore porn’ artwork, unless you’re talking about how sexy the women there look. But there’s a pretty good range of very awesome fantasy art.

http://alexnegrea.deviantart.com/

Here’s one of the artists. Frankly, I love the stuff they do for LotC.

James May
Guest
Negrea’s best work is mind-blowing. And that’s an entire school of SFF artists working in video-gaming (presumably helping to move millions of units) and yet who are virtual no-shows in SFF book publishing. None of them have been even nominated for Hugos and they have no relationship with core SFF. I find their work much better than the work you see in SFF publishing. For some reason SFF publishing tends to frown at action-oriented work and instead you see a lot of people standing and staring at you. I don’t know if this is an issue of publishing being priced… Read more »
Shadowdancer Duskstar / Cutelildrow
Guest
The only knock I have on them (which is kinda nit-picky) is that their work tends to look too similar in style. It’s hard to tell them apart just by looking at them. Generally, for the freelance stuff, you kinda need to try match the client’s desired style approach, for cohesion in appearance. This is especially true in video game art, and even more so for Asian MMOs. For some reason SFF publishing tends to frown at action-oriented work and instead you see a lot of people standing and staring at you. I don’t know if this is an issue… Read more »
James May
Guest
Bleeds, titles and logos are nothing new. That has nothing to do with constraining action art. Look at Norm Saunders dynamic pulp covers from the ’30s and ’40s, those small Ace paperback covers of Burroughs by Roy Krenkel and Frank Frazetta from the ’60s and 8 zillion comic books. It’s an editorial decision not a design one. I suspect folks like Tor Books find action art beneath them. I don’t think they get how much good art, and of a certain type, becomes a portal that draws the readers in. It used to be common for an artist to be… Read more »
Max Breaux
Guest

LMAO @ myself. It took me a minute to realize that it said “Lovci”. I thought it said “Lover Monster Nemesis” which just was so wrong. Do love the artwork

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[…] sick of it. I think covers like these are great. And if you don’t like ‘em, by all means get Jim Hines to pose for your next cover. In a niqab, […]

Jakub Mařík
Guest

It took little longer then I expected but Czech cover for Gimnoir Chronicles is done and we still follow our traditional formula guns+woman+monster. 😉

http://fantomprint.cz/kniha/drsna-magie

SirShadesDrake
Guest

And the covers just keep getting better!

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