I’ve got to hand it to Democrat state senator, Leland Yee. Most political scandals are the typical drug use, hookers, or bribery stuff. This guy reaches for the stars. He isn’t messing around. There is no half assed corruption here. If Yee had a machine that could control the weather he’d be a Batman villain.
He got busted in an FBI sting, taking millions of dollars in bribes, to smuggle RPGs and machineguns through brutal Chinese tong gangs, through the Ukraine, to rebel insurgents in the Phillipines. No. I’m not making any of that up.
The part that makes this all so awesome and hilarious is that the only reason people like me know who Yee is, is because he’s the primary asshole behind disarming law abiding Californians. Yes. He is the anti-gun poster child. He has an A+ from the Brady Center morons. (Hmmm… Now that he’s been caught smuggling rocket launchers to Muslim rebels, but he’s still a democrat, they might downgrade him to a B).
So, regular Californians can’t own an AR-15, but Chinese drug lords, no problemo. Law abiding citizen protected by the 2nd Amendment, go to hell. Murderous scumbag criminals, good to hook. This plan seems to work for Eric Holder too.
The other part that makes this funny as hell is that he is also the anti violent video game guy… Yee is the crusading liberal who has been out there trying to get violent video games banned. Because won’t somebody think of the children!
Let that sink in for a delicious moment.
Grand Theft Auto? Hell, he doesn’t need to play it. Leland Yee LIVES Grand Theft Auto. If only he hadn’t been exposed to Call of Duty, then he wouldn’t have been so tempted to smuggle machineguns to MILF. And yes. The rebels were actually called MILF (Moro Islamic Liberation Front) So when you hear that a Green Beret bagged a MILF, it really could go either way.
Of coure you probably haven’t seen too much of this on the regular news, because Yee is a democrat, and thus his scandal is totally not newsworthy. I saw a thing where Yee’s bust had gotten a grand total of like 30 seconds of coverage on CNN, in between long reports of how Chris Christe may possibly have blocked traffic.
Think about that. Sure, I know that CNN is basically the marketing department of the DNC, but this story has everything. It is implausible. It is ridiculous. It is Breaking Bad only more absurd. His Chinese mafia contact was named Shrimp Boy Chow! How the hell can you not report on a respected elected official making millions of dollars from rebels MILFs and a mob boss actually named SHRIMP BOY CHOW!
Nope. You’re gonna get long reports about boring ass Chris Christie and his being a jerk. I’m not a Christie fan, at all. He’s a republican electable in New Jersey, enough said. But oh no! He might have shut down a bridge out of spite! That’s worth hundreds and hundreds of hours of coverage…
But, but SHRIMP BOY!
Yee is like the tenth democrat busted recently for corruption, only he is so much more awesome at it than those losers. Mayor with hookers and blow? BORING. Yee smokes those chumps. He is a rock star. And before the moral equivelency police show up to bark at me about how the parties are exactly the same… Holy moly, you must suck at statistical analysis. But democrats being corrupt shouldn’t come as a surprise, since for the last five years their highest echelon has been allowed to totally get away with insane scandals like Fast & Furious, or using the IRS to punish political enemies. When that kind of behavior is excused, why wouldn’t it trickle down? The fish rots from the head. And with the supposed watch dogs of the media not doing their job, what’s a little gun smuggling between friends?
I’ve already seen some democrats trying to explain away Yee, like he was no big deal. He was just some minor little dude… He’s only a state senator after all… (and I believe the 3rd or 4th California democrat state legislator to get arrested recently). Except for the part where he was a state super star, and he was running for Secretary of State. And when Harry Potter finally finds and destroys Nancy Pelosi’s last Horcrux, then Yee was going to take her spot. (I’m actually not sure if California even still has elections or if their godking just appoints the democrat of his choice to oversee the peasants in their various fiefs).
Leland Yee should be all over the news, but since he’s a democrat it will be the duty of us crusading journalist type bloggers to spread the truth. These are the facts I have so far:
– Leland Yee originally came to the FBI’s attention after selling guns to a motorcycle gang known as the Sons of Anarchy. Ron Perlman was unavailable for comment.
– FBI investigated and discovered that an RV registered to one Wynn Duffy was parked in Leland Yee’s driveway. It is believed that Leland Yee was the triggerman who recently shot Chief Deputy Art Mullen.
– Leland Yee is part owner of a chain of fast food chicken restaurants named Los Pollos Hermanos.
– Leland Yee must sacrifice a girl with green eyes so that he may be made flesh again.
– Leland Yee would have got away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids.
EDIT: BREAKING NEWS! It was just confirmed that to replace Leland Yee, California is appointing respected educator and heroic cancer survivor Walter White to take Yee’s seat.