HK. Because you suck. And we hate you.

An open letter to the gun community from HK’s marketing department: In a world of compromises, some people put the bullets in the magazine backwards…But it doesn’t matter, because our gun is on the cover of the Rainbow Six video games. Look how cool that SEAL coming out of the water looks… If you buy a $2,000 SOCOM, you will be that cool of an operator too. And chicks will dig you.

At HK, we stuck a piston on an AR15, just like a bunch of other companies have done, dating back to about 1969. However ours is better, because we refuse to sell it to civilians. Because you suck, and we hate you.

Our XM8 is the greatest rifle ever developed. It may melt, and it doesn’t fit any accessories known to man, but that is your fault. If you were a real operator, you would love it. Once again, look at Rainbow Six, that G36 sure is cool isn’t it? Yeah, you know you want one.And by the way, check out our new HK45. We decided that humans don’t need to release the magazine with their thumbs. If you were a really manly teutonic operator, you would be able to reach the controls. Plus we’ve fired 100,000,000 rounds through one with zero malfunctions, and that was while it was buried in a lake of molten lava, on the moon. If you don’t believe us, it is because you aren’t a real operator.

By the way, our cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns like the G3 and MP5 are the bestest things ever, and totally worth asinine scalpers prices, but note that cheap, mass-produced, stamped sheet metal guns from other countries are commie garbage. Not that it matters, because you’re civilians, so we won’t sell them to you anyway. Because you suck, and we hate you, but we know you’ll be back. We can beat you down like a trailer park wife, but you’ll come back, you always do.

Buy our stuff.

Sincerely

HK Marketing DepartmentHK.  Because you suck.  And we hate you. 

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not the biggest fan of H und K.  I posted that letter on THR a long time ago as a joke, but it sure did manage to tick a lot of people off.  Ironically, the tag line, HK.  Because you suck.  And we hate you, has been popping up in various places ever since. 

Sure, they’re decently reliable, decently accurate guns, but they’re massively overpriced and overrated by legions of fan boys.  One of the most frustrating things about dealing with gun people on the interweb is that folks tend to pick a brand, and then base some of their self-esteem on that brand.  Kind of like rabid sports fans who feel the need to burn cars if their team wins, or loses, or they just felt like burning stuff.   Say something negative about that team to one of those rabid fans, and you’re probably going to get beat up.  Likewise, if you say anything negative about the Teutonic superiority of HK, people get mad at you. 

Well, I love hate mail, so here goes. 

For each of their wunder guns, you can get something else that costs a lot less, and works better, and has ergonomics designed by people that actually shoot.   HK came about when some Nazis fled to Spain and built the Cetme.  But Cetme doesn’t sound very tough, does it?  So they went back to Germany and became H and K, and if you call it H and K, fan boys will get mad, and insist that it is HK, because manly Teutonic operators and Navy SEALs don’t have time to say the word And.  So HK rose to prominence by building the G3, which is what the Germans call the Cetme.

Now the G3 is a decent rifle.  It is a cheap, stamped sheet metal, battle rifle.  It has terrible ergonomics, with a hard to use safety, (and this is coming from a guy with gorilla hands), and difficult to use charging handle.  It is reliable, because of the roller locking bolt that destroys your brass, and recoils worse than other competing .308 rifles.  The FAL smokes the G3, and the only reason the G3 exists is because the Germans were too proud to pay royalties to those uppity Belgians. 

The G3 can be really accurate, if you weld a bunch of metal to the sides of it, stick on a nice barrel, and jack the price up $10,000.  And no, that’s not a typo.  The PSG1 is absurdly priced, and the cheaper version, the MSG90 is proof that if make anything absurdly heavy enough, it can be accurate. 

There is a collapsible stock available, which is awesome, if you like getting hit in the face with a piece of rebar, which is what their $400 stock feels like when you shoot it.  Germans must be tougher than we are or something.

Other stamped, sheet metal guns exist, but HK fan boys mock those as commie garbage.  See, if you build a cheap gun, but it is from Germany, then it is superior, but if you build a stamped gun in the eastern block (a hundred miles from Germany) then it is commie garbage. 

But what brought HK to international fame and the cover of Dick Marcinko books (for example, Rogue Force Delta Green Team 7 Ninja Force Alpha II:  The beginning)  was the G3s little brother, the MP5.  Take a G3, shrink it, and chamber it in 9mm.  At the time, CQB doctrine was to use 9mm subguns.  Now the MP5 is a neat little gun.  I have two.  They work well, and if compared to the other subguns of the day, like the Uzi or the Mac, then the MP5 was a lot easier to use, easier to hit with, and was decently reliable. 

The MP5 became famous when the SAS used them to kick the living hell out of some bad guys at the Iranian embassy.  This was marketing gold, and HK rode the wave.  Pretty soon everybody wanted an MP5.  It was what all the cool kids were using.  Soon every video game and action movie was filled with HK stuff.  HK may have overrated guns, but they’ve got the best marketing department in the gun business, and they milked that fee cow until it was dry. 

But the MP5 isn’t as great as people make them out to be.  They still malfunction.  (if you’re favorite gun hasn’t malfed, you haven’t shot it enough).  The mags are hard to insert on a closed bolt.  Safety still sucks.  Most versions don’t have a bolt hold open.  Honestly, if I had to get into a gunfight with a subgun, then I would rather have my PPsH. 

HK long guns were mostly unobtainable to US civilians, primarily because HK hates the civilian market.  If you don’t believe me, go talk to them at SHOT show, and watch them sneer at regular people.  They can’t help themselves.   But like all unobtainable things, like Ferraris, and super models, regular folks start to imagine these unobtainable things as perfection, when really they’re just an expensive car that spends most of its time in the shop, or a chick with mental problems and Bulimia.  That’s what happened with HK.  Their products took on this aura of coolness amongst the fans, that just isn’t real. 

For example, go to any thread on the internet where somebody brings up “What is the Best Rifle EVAR!”  and there is a poll.  On the poll will be some HK long guns that 99.85% of the gun owning public has never seen, let alone shot, but those guns will have the most votes, because the HK marketing department told you how awesome they are. 

Read up about the XM8 on most gun boards.  According to the interweb, the XM8 is the finest combat implement of all time.  In actuality it is a plastic AR18, that tends to melt, break, and is universally loathed by the Army staff that had to test it.  It takes bizarre attachments, so no US accessories will work.  They took the G36, which is basically a blah rifle, used by a handful of countries that don’t ever actually shoot people, and uglied it up so that it looks like the demented lovechild of Bloaty the Pizza Hog and a Super-Soaker.

Or the HK416. According to the internet, the HK416 is the best gun EVER!  It is called THE AWESOME.  Lightning bolts of coolness fly from the gun and smite your enemies with Teutonic fury!  However you can’t have one, because you’re a civilian, ergo, you suck.  And HK hates you.

The 416 is basically an AR with a gas piston, which has been done by like ten companies now, but somehow the HK is better, because it was on Future Weapons, and HK won’t sell it to civilians.  In fact, a couple of 416s slipped out into civilian hands, and HK freaked out about it.  There is no legal reason that 416 uppers can’t be sold, but HK despises regular people, and the idea of you having their long guns offends them.

You can get civilian HK long guns, once in a while, when HK feels like it, but they’re usually hyper-neutered and over priced.  Hell, the last ones were actually grey, because you know, black is too dangerous, or something.

HK’s new subgun is the UMP.  They tend to break.  One of our local PDs traded all of theirs in after they broke all the stocks.  Cool idea, because everybody loves .45, but bad execution.

HK’s flagship pistols, the USP line, are decent polymer handguns.  They are extremely reliable, that is the plus side.  On the down side, their triggers universally suck, but they don’t have to.  HK likes to use a square peg in a round hole, (literally) that makes the trigger pull a lot heavier and grittier than it needs to be.  Why?  Beats the heck out of me.  The USP series should be reliable, they’re enormous. 

The most annoying thing about the HK pistols is how they cost almost twice as much as every other polymer handgun on the market.  Somehow being made in Germany means the USP series is worth $800-$1000, when all of the polymer guns made within a thousand miles are $400-$600.  Only most of those guns tend to have better triggers, are just as reliable, and are usually more accurate.

Then there is the Mk23.  Which is huge, accurate, reliable, (which it damn well better be, since it is the size and weight of a Mini-14) costs as much as a used car, huge, and is universally despised by the SF that it is issued to.  Talk to anyone that is in an SF unit.  The Mk23s they’ve been issued sit unused in arms room.  Did I mention that it is HUGE?  But that’s okay, because the HK fan boys will explain that it is an OFFENSIVE handgun.   (scratches head) whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.  

They are reliable, but so is a $125 Makarov.  Only the Mak has a better trigger.

I have two guys that I work with that have been to the HK armorer’s school.  If you think I’m biased, you should talk to them.  They especially love working with the Germans.  One fellow was yelled at because he had two magazines clamped together on his MP5, because “NEIN!  That is not the H und K way!”  Even though he had bought the mag clamp from HK.  When you ask why the original MP5 doesn’t have a last shot bolt hold open, they’ll yell at you and say, “NEIN! Why would you want your enemy to know your gun is empty!”  Hell, Hans, I just want to know when my gun is empty!

One friend of mine took his personal MP5, and cut an extra notch into the collapsible stock, so it would be shorter for when he was wearing his armor, and also it removed the nasty wobble that all HK collapsible stocks have.  It is an easy fix, and a no-brainer that the HK should have been doing for years.  Fritz at the armorer’s school damn near had an aneurism when he saw this blasphemy against his ineffectual German gods.  

Look, gun owning public, just because you saw it on Future Weapons, or read about it on the internet, doesn’t make it true.  For the love of John Moses Browning, before you formulate super strong opinions about a weapon, you should have at least shot the damn thing first.

 Do I have anything positive to say about HK?  Yes, the sneer of disdain they give you at SHOT is priceless and entertaining.

Edit: My book, Monster Hunter International, is available now on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0741444569/ref=s9_asin_title_wishf_r4-f9_p_c_f_p-2785_g1?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1EXBBDFCRIV04&colid=3QAUVGDWI48Y7&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=right-4&pf_rd_r=0YJY8KAT16R6R571HXSP&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=362209101&pf_rd_i=507846

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Jim
Guest
Jim

I could be wrong but I believe when the Germans approached the Belgians about licensing the FAL the Belgians thumbed their noses at the Krauts, gave them the Hawaiian good luck sign and sent them packing. Something to do with an invasion in 1914 and AGAIN in 1940. I owned a CETME for a short time and was truly underwhelmed, dumped it and bought another FAL. Can’t have too many of those, can you?

Mike
Guest
Mike

LOL, I was on the floor laughing reading thru all of this. Mainly because it’s mostly true! HAHA Although after reading it all I kinda feel bad that I like H&K at all 😀 I have actually shot a G36K (full auto and semi) and very much enjoyed it. I liked the optics they used on it, and was reasonably accurate with it despite my inexperience with such firearms. If I could have I probably would’ve bought a civilian version on the spot right there… but HAHA sucks to be me, those are illegal! However, I may be biased since… Read more »

flashman
Guest
flashman

You forgot that Jack Bauer uses a USP. Seriously, I understand your point – I feel that way about BMWs. But I do like my H&K handguns, so it’s probably good that I’ve never had to deal with Hans and Franz at the SHOT show.

Scott
Guest
Scott

I also own an HK, P30
l love it, it is the best weapon I have ever shot for low recoil, accuracy, ergonomics in the hand, etc.

Omega Man
Guest
Omega Man

Well if you hate HK’s, what do you love?

I have zero experience with any HK product so I couldn’t say yay or nay about them.

trackback

[…] Larry Correia reminds me why I don’t own any H&K products: Because I suck, and HK hates me. […]

Ogre
Guest

FNH, Browning, SIG, Kimber, STI, Glock even (cough), Springfield, S&W… Hell, even the poly framed Baby Eagles are better handguns that the HKs. I reviewed one of the new P2000 pistols and while it was about 200 more than most other pistols of the class, it was only average. I used the phrase Perfectly Adequate and HK flipped out.
HK spends too much time posing for video game covers.

Rick
Guest
Rick

One has to wonder if anyone making comment detriment of the HK, Particularly the MP5 – MP5/10 has ever had to actually put their lives on the line with one. Some guns, as with HK are actually made just for military or police service, so wailing about HK´s policies of not selling to civilians is irrelevant and much of the reason for such negative response to HK weapons. This in light means that the negative comments have no factual basis other than sour grapes. For those of us who never used these in civilian life, but used them in service… Read more »

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

Suck harder. You don’t want to spill any.

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Is this Gecko45 respawned?

SteinUlf
Guest
SteinUlf

As I was reading this comment, I was also wondering if Gecko45 was back.

AK
Guest
AK

A loyal acolyte of the cult of hk let me sum up it up “i am a superiorly manly teutonic man you are are a civilian and therefore suck and i hate you”

DylanTC
Guest

LMAOROTF!!!!

nate
Guest
nate

Rick- there is no reason that civillians should not be able to own semi-auto firearms. The fact that they make this distinction lends one to agree that they beleive they are superior.

Mike Hatcher
Guest
Mike Hatcher

The mere fact that police refer to the general public and citizens as “civilians” is a real problem as they themselves are, in fact, civilians. Cops do not get to be the military, at least not in the USA. It sure doesn’t seem to stop them from thinking they are. Police should *NEVER* have access to weaponry that us “civilians” do not also have access to. Otherwise, the entire principle of not permitting military dominion over domestic issues is violated by allowing the police to become a military force. The police were never intended to be able to be any… Read more »

Benji
Guest
Benji

Not a big proponent of the 2nd amendment are you there chief? The founding fathers would be rolling in their graves at your comment

Korruptor23
Guest
Korruptor23

I’m going to guess that English is not your primary language, suggested by a number of gaffs made, namely ‘surround consideration.’ Truly, anyone shooting an MP5 already knows that 9mm will more than readily over penetrate the human body, posing a material threat to innocents and unintended targets downrange. Thus your purported argument to HKs claim of “valuing the intended for use from those that could become deadlier to us if having your weaponry” is utterly destroyed. Had you ever fired a weapon as you purportedly claimed you would have realized this distinction. If what you had claimed been true,… Read more »

logic bomb
Guest
logic bomb

Hilarious waste of time – was there a point somewhere in all that desperate grasping? How long will you continue to look stupid by arguing that you know more than Seal Team Six or their colleagues? And multiple aliases aren’t helping support your premise either,.. “Hanz”

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

SEALs usually use variations of the US-designed M4, M14 and AR10. Thanks for playing.

James Robertson
Guest

And SEALs iirc prefer the Sig P226 if they’re carrying a sidearm.

Korruptor23
Guest
Korruptor23

@Logic Bomb since it seems impossible to point out your failures under normal protocols. Triple fail, and here’s how: First, as the name is in the same line as the statement, following a comma, the name is clearly addressing another, instead of a statement of authorship. It is not a signature, which would be redundant considering the tagging of all posts with one’s name at the header. Had it been a statement of authorship, there instead would have been a period and a separate line for the name. You have failed at the English language of a mere 4th-grade level,… Read more »

GharmaisKaqrma
Guest
GharmaisKaqrma

Your point is made but Goddamn quit being a grammar Nazi. If you like English then go teach middle school English. Leave the JSOC to the operators. Hk makes some of the best quality firearms for what we do. Did I accidentally misplace a comma? Oh, and were fucking JSOC along with SO paramilitary officers from DoD. Also, when we drop a JDAM and innocent civs die, what do you think “valuing the intended for use from those that could become deadlier to us if having your weaponry,” really is?

CaptainAdderall
Guest
CaptainAdderall

An HK was the last thing Osama bin Laden ever saw. Your narrative is as about useless as the English lit. degree you received. Not much money there, huh? You call can call me a-hole (hear it every day), a no-nothing (rarely hear that), or even a greedy-criminal bastard (heard that daily) in 2007. However, unlike yourself my major didn’t require classes in Dean Koontz theory (a huge HK fan by the way). As a trader for Merrill Lynch (mucho dinero) grammar mean’s $hit. Stick to your 30K a year elementary school teaching job. Just a suggestion, good day!

Patrick
Guest
Patrick

Oh shit, I just saw this! Was he actually serious? It takes a special kind of stupid to make a comment like that.

James Robertson
Guest

Actually, last thing OBL saw was a bullet fired from an M4. Next!

W. Mathew Drumm
Guest

What K&K is doing (b/c they still have the market domination to do it!) is precisely what Colt did throughout much of the 1980’s/1990’s and early into the last decade. They made plenty from LE/Govt. sales that they stopped giving a shit about their civvy market. The AA 2000 and Double Eagle .45 are proof of that. The mistake that the krauts have yet to make is to let their QC slip like Colt did, though with their pricing and customer service being even worse than Colt’s BITD.

reality
Guest
reality

You are a clown, Fritz, other small arms will kill a person just as dead as an hk. To say civilians don’t deserve it just proves the point. Maybe yout authoritarian view of the 2a would be better suited in the 3rd reich.

miscellaneoussoup
Guest

Godwin’s Law…

Lt. Greyman, NVA
Guest
Lt. Greyman, NVA

Except that the HK MP-5/10 in 10mm are notorious for breakage. The fault is always yours, and you did not have the right angle bolt/break/parts installed.nd even if you did, we hate you, so shut up.

Steven T
Guest
Steven T

I love my HK. The reason I got it is so I don’t have to clean it, and it still works well. Except for that time when I had to change the spring to a 24# spring. Now I don’t have to ever change the spring again. If you know how I shoot, I abuse my guns. I’m not supposed to have nice guns but all other guns have malfunctioned on me more than once. I think I can jam any gun and so far I’ve jammed everyone that I’ve touched. HK Rules, but they still hate me.

LoveMyM1G
Guest
LoveMyM1G

if you dont clean your gun you are damn right it will malfunction, its a tool like a blade, you have to clean it to keep it honed to its purpose

Steven T
Guest
Steven T

I love my HK. The reason I got it is so I don’t have to clean it, and it still works well. Except for that time when I had to change the spring to a 24# spring. Now I don’t have to ever change the spring again. If you know how I shoot, I abuse my guns. I’m not supposed to have nice guns but all other guns have malfunctioned on me more than once. I think I can jam any gun and so far I’ve jammed everyone that I’ve touched. HK Rules, but they still hate me and I… Read more »

Scott Roberts
Guest
Scott Roberts

Sorry, I’m laughing too hard to post anything serious…

Well, I’ll try – Don’t forget the MP7 “PDW” that shoots hyper-velocity grains of rice that travel for 16 miles like a laser beam with 0 drop. It is the only weapon that SuperMan fears as it can penetrate any armor in the known universe.

C rai SA
Guest
C rai SA

it’s certainly useful for making pin holes in soft armor at 300 yds.
perhaps they’ll release a pistol version like the Five-seveN, at there usually laughable prices

Geronimo45
Guest
Geronimo45

“just because you saw it on Future Weapons… doesn’t make it true.”
It wasn’t just seen on Future Weapons. It was *whispered* about.

toasterlocker
Guest
toasterlocker

I agree that the price of HKs are generally way too much, and the attitude of the company sucks, but I LOVE the mag release. The only other gun that has a similar release (that I have found anyway) is the Walther P99. My thumb can’t reach on a lot of “normal” guns, but my trigger finger works great with the release on HKs and Walthers.

Otherwise, I agree with you on pretty much everything about HK, nice article.

Strings
Guest

See, now this puts me in a little bind…

Spoon has told me that I can buy myself ANY full-auto that I can afford (which will be awhile). The only problem is, I have to buy her an MP-5 first. She shot one at a fund-raiser in Milwaukee, and that just clinched it. I TRIED steering her twords a (much cheaper) mini-Uzi, but she’s balking…

Any advice?

Warhead77777
Guest
Warhead77777

This is really sad. Mini-Uzis are pretty good, just insane bullet hoses.

I bet you are split up or married, but she still has that freaking gun.

Steve S
Guest
Steve S

I agree 100%. I am a slow learner, so I have bought 3 different HK’s and was never all that happy with any of them. In the case of two of them (an SP 89 and a USC), I was able to sell them for more than I paid, so I am happy that there are others that like them.

I’ll admit that some of their newer handguns look nice, but there are so many other products out there from companies that are willing to sell us “assault” rifles.

Billy Sparks
Guest
Billy Sparks

I once had a USP9 but then I realized my hands would never be big enough for it. The only H&K guns I seem to like are the P7’s but they have the added benefit that after you fire 50 rounds medium speed you can cook a steak on the dust cover.

Mad Ogre
Guest

Yes, I’m planning on collecting my due Sneerage at SHOT. I don’t feel right if I don’t get it. The HK Sneer is almost as rarified as the sneers I get from Glock.

Marcus
Guest
Marcus

The MP-5 is a good gun for shooting small dogs, women and children. It is fun to shoot and uses the less lethal 9mm round. I can see why chicks dig it.

Dion
Guest
Dion

I purchased an SL7 back in 84 for about $300. Thanks to the H und K frenzy I will be selling it this weekend for $1200.
Got to love those marketing guys!
How about the tyrigger pull on my old VP70z. I remeber it weighing in at about 18 lbs.

Nick
Guest
Nick

H&K weapons are generally on my “If I were a millionaire” shopping list. I own a CETME, and I actually love it (probably cause I don’t reload–it does fuck up the brass pretty good, especially commercial .308 brass), and I’ve fired the USP and USP compact, and liked the full sized one (probably cause I’m 6’6″ and my hands are large). They make good weapons, but not worth the price at all. Though I would love to have an MP5 in 10mm. Say what you will about H&K, that’d be fucking awesome.

GreatBlueWhale
Guest

An MP5 in 10mm…
Sorry, had to wipe off the drool running from my chin.

I like G3s and would like to have one, but I’m too cheap.

redeux
Guest
redeux

i have 1 hk left , a p2k-40sw… you are soooo right-on about the attitude … the p2k does seem to be flawless , and i like the mag release (somehow it just works for me )… my 91 didn’t seem to be any worse recoil wise than my fal or m1a , at least not enough that i ever noticed… i prefer the AK series to all of them… i’ll stay with the p2k cause it works , and i don’t have to baby it or worry about it , unlike the 1911’s and glocks and smiths i’ve owned…… Read more »

Unix-Jedi
Guest

Wonderful rant. I love my USP. I bought it slightly used when they were first new – when H&K was desperate to break into the US civilian market as the German merger savaged their arms sales. It was a different time. The US civilian market was the only place where they could be saved… And they were very interested in our business. But I can buy a Glock with 5 mags for almost what 5 mags for the H&K cost now. Tis a shame, I still think the USP is the best, straight out of the box gun I’ve ever… Read more »

Steven T
Guest
Steven T

The best way to buy an HK is used. Back in the day I bought 2 SS USP’s with some gear for $1400. Sold the gear for 300 and sold one of the USP’s for 800. So, for the USP that I have, plus the 8 extra mags the guy gave me, I was only out about $300. Then there was the time that Sportsman’s had a USP Lefty on sale for $525. Picked that up and sold it for $700. I think paying $700+ for a gun is normal since it seams that all my guns cost more than… Read more »

Alex
Guest
Alex

I once had the pleasure of firing my friend’s $3000 scoped G3. The rolling block mechanism may be utterly reliable, but the only thing stopping that bolt at the end of its travel is apparently your shoulder when it slams into it! We were shooting at the leftmost rifle lane but when we were done, we found mangled brass in the berm to the right of the rightmost lane! Of course, if you’re shooting commie invaders as fast as you can, utter reliability may be more at the forefront of your mind than reloading or where your brass ends up.… Read more »

Murcielago
Guest
Murcielago

Man, I’ve re-read this about ten times today, because it is so true. There’s a chick I work with who’s in love with her USP; when I ask her what her USP has over my Glock, she’s unable to give me a rational answer. But it’s an H&K — it must be better. . . .

Don Gwinn
Guest

I sold my full-size USP .45. It was just too huge. I’m getting close to buying a #2 Captains of Crush gripper, but trying to reach the thumb safety on that monster just plain defeated me.

It was a neato gun and all, but it wasn’t working for me.

NC
Guest
NC

Someone asked what does an HK have over a Glock?

Slighly less horrid ergonomics? Hee hee.

Those Teutons must have large, square hands, or perhaps an extra nuckle on each finger, allowing them to form their hands into a perfect box shape.

kdogg
Guest
kdogg

When I read things like this I always think that the writer is just pissy he can’t have the gun he wants or can’t afford it.

I’ll use the 416 for example. I REALLY want one. I’m a big HK fan but at the same time I’m not all pissy about not being able to have one. HK doesn’t want my money? Screw them, I’ll go buy an LWRC. Same type of gun, same reliability and LWRC wants my money and wants to give me good customer service.

HK’s loss but no reason to get pissy.

Joel
Guest
Joel

Did you not read the article? He has two MP5s, so “affording” isn’t an issue obviously.

Richard McEnroe
Guest
Richard McEnroe

AND a Shpagin…

Porter Glockwell
Guest
Porter Glockwell

Dude, best post ever. Had me rolling.

Porter

NC
Guest
NC

Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.

Erik
Guest
Erik

No, I’d buy a goddamn Glock Gen III. Higher level of reliability. 1/3 the price (used), and a better trigger.

Fuck HK.

Erik
Guest
Erik

Oh, and before anybody accuses me of being a Glock fanboi,

I hate them too. I’d rather be shooting my 1911 or Smith wheelguns, but I’m comparing another Teutonic firearm that I personally think is a much better weapon.

DylanTC
Guest

Remington 870 firing 2&3/4 mag shells loaded with modded sabot 410 slugs. Amazing what you can do with Laws of Physics, especially Kinetic Energy Equations. It doesn’t have a damm thing to do with $$, it has to do with your ability to be lethal in defense of your life. Welcome to Texas

Strings
Guest

thinking about it, we NEED shirts with that logo!

“HK. Because you suck, and we hate you”

PRICELESS!

Choclabman
Guest
Choclabman

I curently own a total of 6 HK pistol, and one HK rifle.
While I love HK pistols, I prefer DSA FALS.
I have over the years, tried all the other brands and their different models.
For pistols, HK is the brand I prefer.

I will say this.
You bring up very valid points about HK’s attitude toward civilians.
Overall, a good rant.

Trebor
Guest
Trebor

Ah, I see you managed to draw out the HK fanboys with this post. As an instructor I see my students bring in a lot of different guns. I’ve seen HK’s pistols fail at about the same rate as the other major brands. You want to know the most reliable auto-pistols I see come through my classes? It’s not any of the HK guns. It’s not even the Glocks. The Ruger centerfire autopistols are the most consistently reliable guns I see. I’ve literally yet to see a student have a malfunction with a Ruger centerfire semi-auto. I can’t say that… Read more »

LawDog
Guest

“Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.”

I value my life, and the FN-FNP40 I bought is worth the price. (For about $400 less than an HK.)

We won’t even discuss the price differential between a CZ 75 and an HK — but the CZ is worth the price.

fergie
Guest
fergie

I’m glad someone else has noticed this teutonic/ homoerotic slop that H&K and Glock have been shoveling for years. Yes, I’ve used the MP5 extensively, being issued one in the service. Sure, it’s a great gun, but worth only about 1/2 it’s asking price and certainly not the teutonic uber-blaster it’s touted to be. Man does it sling the brass! a tooth chipper for sure when hit by flying brass in CQB shooting houses! I own the USP9, but only because I got it new for $450 back during comrade Klinton’s “fear of guns” tour. It seemed the shop owner… Read more »

fergie
Guest
fergie

Oh by the way, before some P.C. ninny starts complaining that i’m disparaging Korean war vets…..HELL NO I’M ABSOLUTELY NOT! My point is; that even though they might be of advanced age, I would absolutely trust my life to a vet of such a hard fought campaign, whose only using minimalist equipment long before I’d trust my life to a bunch of over-stuffed, buzz-cut/ ridiculous armchair commandos who think that just because they have the latest “war-fighting fashions”, they saw in the latest glamour gun rag, that they are ready to live out their “chubby hometown-heroes” fantasies…… I’d hate for… Read more »

Tam
Guest

Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.

Wow.

I’m convinced!

I think I’ll sell the pistol on my hip and go buy three used Ultimate Sellout Pistols with the proceeds.

You need a :rolleyes: smiley for times like this…

Marko
Guest

I must not value my life very much at all, then…seeing how I trust it to that S&W six-shooter antique on my hip.

In all seriousness, H&K pistols are okay. Had a P7M8 and a USPc once upon a time, and they worked well. But contrary to some people’s beliefs, they’re not quenched with the blood of dragons deep in the Black Forest, and they have no magical properties. They’re just machines, and the notion that one somehow doesn’t value their life by not carrying one is a little silly.

It’s the shooter, not the gun, sport.

Rick
Guest
Rick

Actually its neither……nothing compares to trsaining and experience. !!

Tomy Ironmane
Guest
Tomy Ironmane

Oh Goood… I’m not the only one who loves their old S&W… To be fair, my dad picked it out for me before mom pushed me out, and it’s a 29 with the long barrel… it’s big, it’s heavy – all steel construction – , I’ll never be able to conceal it, and it still barks fire and kicks like a mule… but one round of .44 mag will do what two or three rounds of 9mm will do, assuming the shooter does their part.

Kristopher
Guest

HK longarms are just inferior and over-priced copies of the original CETME.

Hype won’t save your life.

Sailorcurt
Guest

The Ruger centerfire autopistols are the most consistently reliable guns I see. I’ve literally yet to see a student have a malfunction with a Ruger centerfire semi-auto

I rarely mention it because I feel when I do I must duck my head lest I be bludgeoned by flying self-righteousness…but my carry gun is a Ruger P-97 .45acp.

It is ugly as hell…but it gives a hearty BANG! every time I pull the trigger and it makes holes in the paper right where I’m pointing it.

What more do you need a pistol to do???

I can’t speak to their customer service…I’ve never needed it.

TBeck
Guest
TBeck

Sometimes, I feel trashy for shooting my XD next to the guy with the tricked out H&K.

But then I see the size of his pattern…I mean group, and I get over it.

It’s not the hardware, it’s the software.

John R Shirley
Guest

“Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.”

Wow, it’s almost like the poster of that comment *didn’t even read* your post. Larry, if you just had pictures of some wet-suited Übermensch rising dripping from the blackened sea, I’m certain you wouldn’t have to deal with this tripe. I’m pretty sure you commented on quality, but you Used Big Words here and there. Keep it simple for the fanboys, eh?

J F
Guest
J F

well , dayum …
i feel so left out with my old fashioned 5 shot 38 special snubby.
i guess i’ll just never be ubercool and with-it by packing a high dollar euro-gun.
i just don’t know what to say…

Richard McEnroe
Guest
Richard McEnroe

Your snubby can GET you a USP if you know what you’re doing…

Don Gwinn
Guest

Hey, you guys noticed that NC was kidding, right? See his post two posts above that one.

Koalorka
Guest
Koalorka

So I’m guessing you think the M1911 is a manifestation of God? You don’t like HK’s? Suck it, go buy a Savage.

NC
Guest
NC

To be fair, internet postings aren’t often the best medium to convey dry sarcasm.

fergie
Guest
fergie

I’m unclear about something……just why would an Ubermensch need a pistol? Surely he could crush us lowly unpure Americans with his mighty square hands!

Destiny
Guest
Destiny

Okay Larry…. I did get a laugh out of this one… not only from your rant but the idiotic responses from the HK Prissy’s. Got to love em though cause you can always sell them crap ten times what its really worth. You do know what Preparation H&K is for right ?????

Des
Evil Blonde

Spook
Guest
Spook

Just to be fair, I’ve shot a few pistols including the USP and 1911… I love my USP, a decent Glock, 1911, XD and the like are ALL THE SAME FRIGGIN PRICE if you catch them on sale. H*ll a uber-tactical 1911 costs… oh yeah $2,000!!! and people complain about the $1400 Mk. 23. I’m sorry but after having my mouth soured by the utterly unreliable 1911 I shot (Springfield Arm.) it’ll be a LONG time before I put my carry FULL SIZE USP down. Also you people must have some REALLY small hands. I can’t use a M9 9mm… Read more »

Bill Nye the Science Guy
Guest
Bill Nye the Science Guy

I have no particular favorites, but that being said, I cannot stand Glocks. They may be reliable (according to many reports I have read) but they are blocky, ugly, the factory triggers are like lifting 50 pound bags of cement, and their safety system being built into the trigger itself is ludicrous. Some people swear by them, I know. I have read too many horror stories and once actually saw someone fire one while it was bolstered because his zipper got caught in the trigger guard area and fired it. No thank you, sir. No Blocks for me, EVER!

Steven T
Guest
Steven T

I think the issue with pistol grip size isn’t how big or small your hands are, but how meaty they are. I’ve seen lots of guys with large hands, but they have so much flesh in there that they might as well not have fingers. I have small skinny hands and I handle that USP just fine. I went and fired my USP the other day in like a year(and it sat dirty the whole time) and it was very nice compared to a gun I was testing. As long as it goes bang when I pull the trigger, I… Read more »

SecurityGuy
Guest
SecurityGuy

Ah heck, I’ll tell everybody how cool a gun company is if they’ll just have the sense to make my ideal combo at a reasonable price; high capacity pistol and carbine that share mags in either 10mm or 45ACP (the 45ACP has to be manufacturer rated to handle 45Super box, though) Of course, in order for me to forgive said company for sucking too much to have already figured out and made this perfect combo, they’ll have to send me the first three pairs free. Then that company will truly rock, even if it’s HK. The rest will still suck… Read more »

Totheuneducated
Guest
Totheuneducated

I agree with a few of your points regarding the price of HK weapons when compared to others on the market, but most of the other stuff, simply isn’t true. Do some research, learn the laws and then come back with an intelligent rant that the H and K fanboys will take seriously. If you approached the HK booth with this kind of an additude I could see why they would snub you. I would too. Did you go to their LE booth and ask civilian questions? Maybe the LE booth was intended for their LE customer base, just a… Read more »

totti
Guest
Holly76209
Guest

I laughed so hard my stomach muscles were hurtin’ at your wit. Then I asked my Dearly Beloved WHY he had not seen fit to tell me just how brilliant you are.
You are now a daily read on my blog trotline, even if JPG put you in the shooting group.

Nolo
Guest
Nolo

Correia, you rock. I used to be an HK fanboy. Now, all I really like about the HK weapons is the look of the G3. I think it looks neat. But I use completely different internals than the G3 in my designs so they aren’t really G3s. Why am I not an HK fanboy anymore. Because I’ve never shot an HK and, more importantly, no one else I know has. No one! MP5? Nope. G3? Nope. PSG? Nope. HK53? Nope. I can’t evaluate a weapon if I don’t actually know how it shoots. When all I get from a company… Read more »

Terry D.
Guest
Terry D.

Man, you are wrong! Me and my buddies all bought HK long guns for a good price. They are awesome. We have a 4 man team and we kick butt with them.

Of course they were made in Italy, have two barrels and are around .75 caliber or something. They are sort of a MLPS (multiple launch projectile system), or shot gun to the non-operators.

Sweet guns.

Seriously
Guest
Seriously

NC, on October 11th, 2007 at 11:40 pm Said:

Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.

*Sob* You’re right! My life is worth soooo much more than I paid for my HK! I am sooooo overcome with guilt that I’m going to write HK a blank check for my USP! Whatever you want, take it! My life is worth it!

HKs are too cheap!

Totally hilarious blog… you had me in stitches.

I love my HKs …but I don’t pay for them.

Dave E
Guest
Dave E

Tucson PD dumped the HK USP as it was an unreliable pistol. I watched thier armorer come over to the range I worked at almost every day to test fire repaired pistols. One officer came in off the street to pop a few rounds, and his USP failed to fire every other round. he left for the station, white as a sheet. We called the USP the Useless Sh*tty Pistol. I have fired the MP5, and the MP10, brought in by an FBI agent. Nice, waaaay to expensive. I would love a vP70z just to have one, (I actually like… Read more »

Wild Goose
Guest
Wild Goose

I find it curious, sirs, that there is no reasoned response to the reasoned defense of H&K. *Shrugs* Having not fired any of these weapons, I cannot say for sure who is in the right, but there are a few things to consider about the HK416: 1) Delta Force was involved with the R&D and field testing and uses it in place of the M4. (2) In a demonstration trial to members of the Malaysian Armed Forces, a 416 was buried in mud, then fired, with no jams – something that’s very important here in Malaysia, which still has sufficient… Read more »

Wild Goose
Guest
Wild Goose

Also, there are MP5s in 10mm. These were made for the FBI in the early 90s.

Rick
Guest
Rick

The MP5/10 was primarily designed and manufactured for the SAS and SASR. It was then subsequently picked up in use by law enforcement agencies, the FBI being one. It was originally supposed to be used only for SF´s but they had no qualms with special police branches using them. I did note in the original rant by the blogger that he had problems with the magazine positioning with the bolt closed. Must have been an old model as sinse 1990 they all have the bolt group open after last round fired and fast release lever for instant deployment. Thats a… Read more »

tyler
Guest
tyler

“Well Mr. Correia, just how much is your life worth to you? If you valued your life, you’d see that HK was worth the price.”

I carry 8 Mk 23s at all times, for just that reason. I’m a serious operator. Seriously.

Darrell
Guest
Darrell

I watched a guy buy an HK 91 at the local fun shop a while back, he looked very pleased with himself. He also paid $2,200 for the privilege. Heck, I was pleased as punch too, remembering that I paid $600 for my PTR 91, which looks just like his HK 91 and works just as well, if not better.

Vaarok
Guest
Vaarok

Good lord, that’s genius. As another firearm enthusiast who’s sick of being hit over the head by mall-ninja fantasies at every turn, and looks at a G3 and sees a Black Widow Sporter with a bayonet lug and double the price, I loved every word.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Wow. I could buy about a hundred Mosins, 1893s, K31s or SMLEs for the price of one SG1.

Oh, wait. I did.

Could me and 100 of my friends take out someone with a PSG1?

Probably. But we wouldn’t be as cool doing it.

Seriously, though, I shoot a buddy’s US-made G3 clone all the time. It’s a pretty good $500 rifle. Not as good as a $500 FAL clone. But pretty good. I’ll be happy to pay $500 for a G3. After I buy my AR10.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

http://iwoe.org/bbforum/viewtopic.php?p=40163 it seems Europeans agree, too.

Neil Christie
Guest

Good rant. Mix or real points and satire. Also, I note the comments – even the people that disagree are respectful and everyone is spelling and typing. Hmmm – must be something about the “gun culture” that develops character and social skills. No wonder the Left hates us – we don’t need them. I have tried several H&K, and agree. Big, blocky, top heavy. Same for Glock – I just cannot get myself to sell my 10MM ’cause 3 full mags = 45 rounds of full-house 10mm is just SO cool. I do own ONE H&K – a VP70Z. I… Read more »

Thomas Johnson
Guest
Thomas Johnson

What’s a better modern submachine gun than the MP5?

Anonymous Coward
Guest
Anonymous Coward

Micro Tavor, any day of the week.
Its also avalable in 5.56 NATO and in 9mm.

Sir Guido Cabrone, LC M.o.P.
Guest
Sir Guido Cabrone, LC M.o.P.

Just a few thoughts from a guy that sells guns and shoots a bit. I work in a range that does both semi and full auto rentals. The only troubles we have had from the Uzi’s were cocking handle screws working loose. Can’t say the same for the MP-5s. They are cool, and fantastically accurate in semi-auto, but have a bad habit of breaking extractor springs on a regular basis. (This is not cool) Never have had a part broken on the Uzis, other than by ham-handed idiots over torquing the cocking handle screws rather than simply putting a little… Read more »

Wild Goose
Guest
Wild Goose

On the subject of West and East Germany, the german visitor is technically correct. The West Germans called their nation the Federal Rpublic of Germany, while the East Germans called themselves the German Democratic Republic.

Notice something: if you are a republic and you have to either “People’s” or “Democratic” in your name, you are ubdoubtedly Communist.

Unixronin
Guest

Some significant few years ago, the HK USP first hit the US market, to considerable shottist-magazine excitement. A few months later, I walked into my local range, and there was one sitting in the rental rack. So I took a look at it. And yeah. My first reaction was that it was BLOODY GIGANTIC. Sure, it was a .45, but the frame and slide were big enough that you could probably wildcat up a .60-caliber round for it and still be able to use the existing slide casting. Anyway, not to be discouraged, I gave it a try on the… Read more »

Josh from myspace
Guest
Josh from myspace

No fucking kidding.

I was really entertained by the “rant”, and the comments almost made my lungs explode.

Fucking H&K. Okay, someone needs to rant on Colt now, they had it coming…

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest
John
Guest

Great read! I previously owned an HK-91 and a USP .45, and what was said in this article, both about the triggers and safety/charging handle/recoil, was quite accurate! This reminded me why I dislike H&K, they’re really milking their rep with their earlier roller-locked arms. Damn straight about H&K marketing dept., too. Just watch any cheesy 80’s action flick and start counting backward from 100 the MP-5’s and G-3’s you see…

Austin Green
Guest

You are on to something… I bought the USP .45 because it looked cool…. After my first trip to the range I sold it and was back to my 1911. The height of bore above he web of my hand means my non firing hand thumb slips off the dustcover every time I fire. The trigger has a plastic feel that my 1911s had taught me to hate instantly, and the accuracy was mundane. I know it was probably mechanically half as accurate as my 1911… which is quite a statement, but I shot it four times moor poorly. When… Read more »

Spaminator
Guest
Spaminator

I think you forgot that after about a mag and a half of firing w/ the G3 the foregrip gets so hot you need an oven mit to hold it. So you are forced to hold it by the magazine itself…Germans must have oven mits for hands.

trackback

[…] I guess soon Cali LEOs will have to buy only HK. Because you suck and we hate you. […]

Mike
Guest
Mike

While I do hate HK sales policy. I like their guns. With USP, you just need to learn how to shoot with them. Same as with cars, if you are used to driving 100year old museum piece (1911) it takes same getting used to modern cars (USP).

Michael
Guest
Michael

Friend of mine pointed me to this “H&K basher”. Funny read, even more so for the comments. Although I kinda fit all the criteria for beeing the enemy (HK fan, chubby & teutonic “ubermensch” … well, at least I got a german passport), I’d like to add my 0.02$ I used the G3 back in the early 90s while in military service. Since I was in the Navy, I didn’t get to shoot too many rounds with it. But I kinda liked it. Even though the rifle was probably older then I was and had been used & abused by… Read more »

ATH
Guest
ATH

Epic trolling. Simply epic. I am in awe of your troll smarts.

Have my abortion?

Marcus
Guest
Marcus

Of course all H&K guns are superior. That is why all of the winning shooters in IPSC and three gun matches use H&K. Price is no object. They don’t just talk about guns, they make a living in a game where every single round is scored and reliability is essential. Don’t look at the gun, look at the target. If you are one of those guys who like the “ergonomics” of H&K products, I am sure Larry will sell them to you. Hell, he would even over charge you if you life if worth more than a normal guy.

Tomovich
Guest
Tomovich

A big thumbs up!!

Even though I confess to owning a few H und K’s I laughed my ass off. Well written and UNFORTUNATELY oh so true. It’s gotten to be like the “Ford vs Chevy” thing. Gimme a break……..they all do the same thing!!!! H und K (the company) has a screwed up attitude and that’s that. Period.

anon cause
Guest
anon cause

what a lot of folks do not know, back in 1998 when smith & wesson signed that agreement with HUD under the clinton administration, whereby they would accept an “oversight committee” of 5 member, 3 would be gov’t officials (do a google for it – the terms will flip you out), another provision was that Smith & Wesson would also turn over all ownership records to HUD (that’s right, Housing & Urban Development, which at the time was run by Andrew Cuomo, secretary of housing). That meant if you had ever filled out a warranty card on a S&W, or… Read more »

trackback

[…] You might suck less and we might hate you less. […]

Tom the Impaler
Guest

As the owner of an FN PS-90 I would know nothing about paying double what a weapon is actually worth merely for the added cool factor. And I’m not looking for a decently priced FiveseveN piece of plastic crap which costs about five times what it’s worth either.

Broadsword
Guest

As an aside to the rant, nice to read about the CZ pistols, ” Can’t say the same for any other brand, with the possible exception of a CZ.” My hip, Blackhawk holster, and CZ P01 are very comfortable together. Rubber grips, 14 rounds and more confirmation of its quality. Thanks

Kevin
Guest
Kevin

Nice article dude. First rate. I got to shoot a few HK weapons, and I was not impressed. You pretty much have to baby the MP5 or else the thing will jam on you. The FAL and M14 are much better than the G3. And since I was a grunt who served on the front lines in Iraq, for two tours, our M4s were very reliable and I’ve never met anyone who has used the weapon extensively who did not like it. There is no need to change to the 416, that is just a bunch of propaganda.

zeroflux
Guest
zeroflux

I’ve shot the MP5 and absolutely hate the trigger on that thing.

Metalhead
Guest
Metalhead

To that Urban Legend concerning dislocating a shoulder when firing a G3:
It wasn’t with the G3 but with the MG 3 – and I’ve seen it happening – the guy tried to fired it with one hand only…

janus
Guest
janus

Well, as someone qualified to operate the MG-3, i feel that shooting a 1300rds/min weapon one handed is simply retarded.

Srtsam
Guest
Srtsam

HK just got dropped from my local gun pusher. Their customer service sucks ass and he couldn’t sell their guns without severly discountig them. Shame, I was seriosly considering taking the HK plunge with a 45c but will now wait for the Px4-sd due later this summer.

john
Guest
john

It’s a German thing you wouldn’t understand. I only have had one HK weapon in my life. That silly squeeze-cocking thing. When I had a cash shortage, I was faced with a choice of sell it, or sell half my gun rack. I sold it for more than I paid for it. This attitude prevails in anything they think we like. I hadda get a Volkswagen some years back and the sneering attitude toward the customer has been transmitted toward the local staff and they’re all Americans, even the ones with German names….. I feel like an abused co-dependent every… Read more »

Matt
Guest
Matt

Great article. I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Even though I love USPs I do despise H&K’s pain in the ass marketing strategy. I really don’t understand why they won’t sell to civilians.

I got my USP-Tactical, I’m probably never buying another H&K product b/c of their reluctance to sell them to me.

Big Square-Handed John
Guest

I posted a couple a days back, forgot to mention my carry guns. I have recently consummated a two decade long letch for the S&W 469. I like the Browning Hi-Power, and the detective model. I did once ask the HK Rep(tile) how many of their customers die, of old age, before they have enough saved up for those triple-priced toys… I have Makarov, Tokarev, and the square gripped CZ-52. For serious hunting I have a Savage 30-06, going on it’s forth scope. They break. I also have Hi-point, and Kel-Tec 9mm carbines, love ’em. I’m also slightly shocked to… Read more »

thebronze
Guest
thebronze

HK sucks ass.

John
Guest

I had to read this again. I still think the following is my favorite part: ” Fritz at the armorer’s school damn near had an aneurism when he saw this blasphemy against his ineffectual German gods. ”

Heh. Hah-hah. Hee. 😀

Big Square-Handed John
Guest

Someone in the comments said they also get the sneer from Glock. While I love Herr Glock’s Cinderella story of a poor but honest plastics wank, who didn’t know a gun from a glockenspiel, rising to supply the entire Austrian Army, plus several dozen clueless Police Departments, with his first effort, Brings a tear to me eye it does. But I find it distressing to see hard headed cops succumb to almost MY level of toy mania. I might buy a Glock or HK at a distress sale, but I would rather add another .22 to my dozen and a… Read more »

Speed
Guest
Speed

The MP5 is the only HK I have an long-term experience with. I love it; great ergos, sights, feel, mag release, and it shoots as smooth as glass. Also don’t like a few important things; A3 stock feels like crap, selector lever position is horrible (you better be clicked into the position you want when the shooting starts ), no LRBHO, small magwell, and the gun DOES JAM. Comparing it to a 9mm Colt smg, the Colt mags love to unload themselves if dropped, and the Colt is no where near as smooth as the MP5. Colt selector is perfection.… Read more »

The Annoyed Man
Guest

I am left handed, and I have a USP Compact, which I bought on the salesman’s assurance that I could easily obtain an ambi-safety lever for it. That seemed reasonable to me. I’ve put ambi-safeties on my 1911s, and getting the parts for them was never a problem. Well, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I’ll never buy an H&K product again. I’ve made so many phone calls to H&K to try and get an ambi-safety that they ought to offer to pay my phone bill for a month. They keep saying to call… Read more »

T-Man
Guest
T-Man

Don’t forget that Lara Croft’s personal choice of pistol is the USP, uber-hollywood-ized with those HUGE compensators, of course. That certainly adds something to HK’s super-coolness.

Great write-up. You are 100% right about people who talk up guns that they have never shot, handled, or seen other than video games and Futureweapons.

Jason
Guest
Jason

I have the new HK45 and like it a great deal. I prefer the location of the mag release compared to other gun makers and it works just fine for me. I shot at least a dozen different guns before buying the HK and feel that it was worth the cost. I agree on the trigger though, it does grind even after I sent it in for the LEO trigger. I do agree 100% on the HK long gun rants which have been posted. They are overpriced, cheaply made, and underwhelming at best. As for the Mark 23, I would… Read more »

trackback

[…] the last case, so I wandered over to see what the attraction was.  Oh, that.  The shop has an HK G3 for sale, for the princely sum of $14 thousand smackers.  Kid asked me if I liked it.  I told […]

Steve F.
Guest
Steve F.

I miss the H&K of the 1970’s through the 80s. That was a company that genuinely liked selling guns, and was innovating the hell out of things. HK4: four barrels, one slide, one frame. Neat little gun. P9 Series: beautiful guns, nice ergonomics, smooth shooters. P7 Series, truely innovative, and thinking outside of the box. Also, no hesitation whatsoever in offering semi-auto civilian versions of their military guns: HK91, 93, 94, SP89. Heavy, but well made…and the vaunted Belgian FAL at the time cost twice as much as the H&K rifle in the same caliber. The guns were still expensive,… Read more »

Leethal
Guest
Leethal

This entry is completely full of win. I have one extremely reliable HK USP that I love, but it’s also the last HK I’ll ever own.

I have never been impressed with a single HK rifle. To hear folks (and HK) tell it, the HK416 an incredible leap in firearms technology, the likes we haven’t seen since the introduction of brass cartridges. *rolls eyes*

trackback

[…] pokes fun of HK. We were actually going to get Squeaky to walk up to the HK booth and ask them why they hate us while we videotaped the encounter. That would have been instant youtube gold. But I could never get […]

Kristopher
Guest

Dear Ghod … the comments just keep on going.

To the HK fanboi who thinks the MP-5 is the best modern SMG … at SMG competitions in the US, the PPSH-41 shooters make the MP-5 shooters cry.

They don’t realize how sucktasticly slow their closed-bolt toys are until they clear a table in 5 seconds … and then watch the PPSH and Soumi shooters clear said table in under 1 second.

fedora1953
Guest
fedora1953

I ran across a link from another site the pointed here and started reading all the rants and raves about HK. I’ve handled a few, but never shot one. The USP is just too darn blocky for my hands. I know a guy that could probably palm one. He has the meatiest hands I’ve ever seen. One thing I do know. If a gun doesn’t sit well in your hand, and lacks pointability, you are handicapped from the very beginning. Not all designs are equal. I’ve been shooting for 32 years, so I’m not a newbie. I learned to shoot… Read more »

HK ROCKS
Guest
HK ROCKS

HK did the Piston Upper FIRST!!!!!!
The U.S gun lobby did not want the Superior German Rifles from the Fatherland to make their pop-guns look like junk.
They got the government to pass import laws preventing HK sending the Rifles to U.S soil.
HK had to build them in the U.S or no go! HK said F.U slimey American Civilians.
You then had companies like P.O.F and Bushmaster STEAL the HK Piston upper and produce it in the U.S

HK Forever. You will NEVER understand. When your piece of U.S trash AR jams and your buddies DIE!…You should have deployed with a HK!

HKsucks
Guest

HK is the last in a long line of piston uppers. Eugene Stoner first did it back in the late 60s and tried to interest the Army in it to no avail. The Stoner design was actually used on the G36 and now the 416 which HK has made proprietary. So who stole what? You really need to educate yourself a bit before going on a rant.

W. Mathew Drumm
Guest

LWRC makes the best piston operating system on the market, and their CS and availability of repair/replacement parts (should you ever need them!) puts H&K to shame. They also stand by their products 100% replacing or servicing stuff inside of a month.

Alexander
Guest
Alexander

I truly enjoyed the rant against HK, and found the majority of comments above to be instructive (especially Fedora1953). I own a CETME and like it a lot, but I do resent the fact that it destroys the brass, especially with ammo prices climbing and myself just starting to think about reloading. It is my go-to gun for SHTF. It’s completely reliable after a bit of mag tweaking, and the accuracy is more limited by the quality of ammo than the gun itself. I had Bill Springfield do a trigger job for me and it was worth every penny. The… Read more »

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[…] EDIT: Wait wait wait, got it. “HK. Because you suck on candy and we hate you” […]

Jim
Guest
Jim

Hilarious! And true. I have a USP-9F and a USP-9C. I got them at prices HK would not approve of. The Compact malfed a few weeks back so now begins the wait for the parts. My gunsmith – a nationally-know guy – hates them as their response time is terrible.

Dave C.
Guest
Dave C.

The biggest draw of the G3 is the illegal, covert possibilities. With all the full auto parts previously available (Not any more) making the gun full auto without changing the receiver is not very hard. All you need to do is alter the trigger pack which is about the size of a pack of cigarettes. Of course it’s a little more complicated than that to get it to work right but the potential is there. Of course no one talks about that publicly but that adds a lot of covert appeal to the gun. It applies to all the G3/33/MP5… Read more »

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[…] stuff. Sincerely HK Marketing Department HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation __________________ Stuff […]

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[…] Originally Posted by jeepinbanditrider Eh you’re better off not giving them your moolah anyway. Get an American companies upper and save some money at the same time. Parody letter I found over on the zombiesquad forums HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation […]

Choybalsan
Guest
Choybalsan

A lot of hype over H&K guns. But back in 1994 we didnt have the games we have now so its worse. I’ve heard storys from contras about how disliked the hk mp5 was. In fact they prefer the mac-10 or mac-11 over the uzi, only because the uzi is almost a rifle. If you said that years ago you’d be universally shunned because mac’s are “innacuate pieces of junk”. Heavy and clunky, yes. But not worse. You cant insert a fully loaded magazine in a mp5 with the bolt closed. Something the armchairs wouldnt know because they’ve never used… Read more »

Choybalsan
Guest
Choybalsan

Ironically I saw a thing on tv today talking about vintage porche’s. Crap car. Sounds like a jet airplane. Test drive a porche before you wax poetic. Handles like hell under 80mph because of the wheelbase. Thats why you always see guys driving fast with porches. You had to buy the car stock with no spedometer, ect. And the addons would cost as much as a lower end sports car in the day. And you couldnt get parts for it. Porche’s attitude was “our cars dont break”. Same attitude here. French, german, italian. I’ll pass. I’d rather buy chinese or… Read more »

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[…] But you can’t have one. Because you suck and we hate you. […]

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[…] HK.  Because you suck.  And we hate you. […]

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[…] HK G11 that fired caseless ammo. Not that it mattered. They wouldn’t sell you one. Because you suck and we hate you. […]

MatthewC
Guest
MatthewC

Dude, you rock! I’ve loathed ugly plastic H&K crap ever since I foolishly spent a fortune on one of their pistols and realized that: 1.It wasn’t made for my human sized hands–I made a fool out of myself and scared the range master whenever I shot it. 2.It really does have a worse trigger than a Makarov (and I have a Mak–much more fun to shoot. And you can get used to the trigger, since it is the only real flaw) 3.Worst of all I realized I could have bought: –Two old P-38’s –A collectible Luger –A super accurate Kimber… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

I hope “HK Rocks!” is being sarcastic…seeing as Rhino sold its piston conversion in 1982…

Chris
Guest
Chris

Korea – Because YOU suck! And WE hate YOU!!!

Mormon POS!

Chris
Guest
Chris

I should never post online while drinking…

:0

I'm off topic so please forgive.
Guest
I'm off topic so please forgive.

From a reliabilty perspective what do u guys think of Sigs P226/P229 in 9mm?

Why Sig? I really like the way the 226 feels in my hand and like the location of the decocking lever.

I’ve chosen 9mm primarly due to cost and I figure both models will feed HPs with little trouble when it comes to home defense.

repost
Guest
repost

This was great reading and generally confirmed my unsubstainated opinion of H&K. So please forgive when I go off topic. I’m thinking about the Sig 226 or 229 chambered for the 9mm. I prefer the feeling of an all steel gun in lieu of composites, and really enjoyed the 226 (I like the location of the de-cocking lever). The weapon will be primarily used for home defense as a back up (My short barrel Remington 870 is my primary) and as my first pistol.

NC
Guest
NC

To the above: I’d suggest bringing your question to the webforum, We The Armed (http://wethearmed.com). The Sig 229 and 229 have alloy frames, not steel, but they’re good guns. I’ve got quite a few rounds through a Sig 226R and like it quite a bit. I’d like it more if it wasn’t so biased against lefties, but that may not be an issue for you. You won’t go wrong with the Sig. And, for the record, in case anyone else reads over these (now classic) comments…yes, I was being sarcastic when I told Larry that if he valued his life,… Read more »

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[…] it’s worth noting that unlike some companies (I’m looking at you, HK), FN USA is friendly to the civilian market.  The produce civilian versions of their assault […]

Chris
Guest

I’m one of, like, 10,000 guys who own a USP Compact in .40 S&W. Everything Larry said is absolutely spot on – including my STUPID decision of having bought one based on someone else’s recommendation, without having fired one first. After having owned, shot, and loved, a number of 1911 pattern pistols, the H&K was a severe disappointment – but it IS reliable, and that must count for something.

That being said, I’ll probably sell it and get something a little more satisfying with the money, just so I can stop kicking my own ass for having been an idiot.

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[…] And we don’t hate you quite as much. […]

Captain Holly
Guest
Captain Holly

Loved the rant.

I’m also enjoyed reading the love for Ruger pistols here. I’m a Ruger fanboy because their handguns are reasonably priced, well-built, and reliable. Trigger pull might suck but otherwise a decent weapon.

I think if Bill Ruger had kept his mouth shut 90% of the Ruger hate would disappear.

Tim W.
Guest
Tim W.

Hey…awesome letter. I just got torked off by HK and so I posted my complaint on the Nebraska Concealed Carry Forum. Someone then replied with a link to your site.

I am now a former HK customer! Keep up the good work.

Nellis
Guest
Nellis

correia45 when you said “The 416 is basically an AR with a gas piston, WHICH HAS BEEN DONE BY LIKE TEN OTHER COMPANIES, but somehow the HK is better, because it was on Future Weapons, and HK won’t sell it to civilians. ” what other guns are you talking about have a gas piston?? plz tell me so that i can ckeck them out (or even better, counld you give me some gun name that have the same firing system as the h & k 416?) also, tx you for the info on h & k guns, i had NO… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Rhino is defunct, but they made one. Barrett does, IIRC. Bushmaster (the American equivalent of H&K;-)).

The big question is why?

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[…] Originally Posted by svtfocus2cobra Aren’t HK mags pretty much the best there are? My friends are always talking about finding good deals on HK AR steel mags cause they’re way better than the Magpul Pmags. No. HK mags range from The only choice deal with it (USP mags), to middle of the road (G3 and varient mags) to heavy hunks of shit (HK AR mags). They are universally overpriced, and useally heavier then the alternatives. I can’t speak for MP5 mags, as the only MP5’s I’ve fired were the army’s and I didn’t look at who made the mags… Read more »

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[…] bend easily. On the up side if you run out of ammo, you can beat someone to death with it. Here: Read This Last edited by dogmush; Today at 12:16 […]

XmadmanX
Guest

Great Comedy!!! Scorned? I think so. You must be too broke to own many of the weapons you talk about. I have owned, PSG1’s, HK-91, HK- SR9’s. Most accurate auto on the planet. You can say what you want about the HK, I will always like them. What you seem to have forgot was, the HK-91 was $400 when they came out, at the same time the AK-47 Galiil was triple. The PSG-1 was only 2k when they came out, now, because of the terrible laws passed in this country, made them sky rocket. I didnt hear any mention of… Read more »

XmadmanX
Guest

Owner of: HK USP .45, Colt 70 Series .45 ACP, HK-SR9, HK-91, Tikka T3 Tactical, HK-SL8, Sig 226 9mm, Colt Mustang .380, Colt 2nd Gen .45 single action with Ivory, Weatherby Vanguard 25-06, Benelli M1, Remington 1100, Walther P22, Walther G22, GSG-5. All guns have their place for different people, you dont seem to realize what the guy said before me, he is spot on accurate. Get a clue and do more research and not just the weapon, but the laws too. They have caused a lot of your claim and some of your claims are outright wrong. HK, Colt,… Read more »

T. Reed
Guest
T. Reed

HK makes a good gun….

T. Reed
Guest
T. Reed

Great Comedy!!! Scorned? I think so. You must be too broke to own many of the weapons you talk about. I have owned, PSG1’s, HK-91, HK- SR9’s. Most accurate auto on the planet. You can say what you want about the HK, I will always like them. What you seem to have forgot was, the HK-91 was $400 when they came out, at the same time the AK-47 Galiil was triple. The PSG-1 was only 2k when they came out, now, because of the terrible laws passed in this country, made them sky rocket. I didnt hear any mention of… Read more »

ishida
Guest
ishida

Sounds like YOU’RE the one who only plays Rainbow Six. And badly, too.

Corriera runs a GUNSHOP, with an extremely wide array of full-auto firearms, INCLUDING your teutonic bolt thrower. And he’s fired tha, amd found others BETTER.

I find the PPSh41 HUNDREDS of times better than anything HK can offer.

Jon
Guest
Jon

The whole point is that if your going to spend rediculous amounts of money you may as well get the best. If HK’s guns were so great the military would use all of their guns, they dont, just the Mp5. The PSG1 is hardly the best repeater, something tells me even the fricken Scar H could out perform that pile. If you want the best repeater in the world, Knight’s Armament. end of story. I guess my ultimate point is, HK is living in the past the only arguements they have are old outdated guns, which for some reason rival… Read more »

Cat
Guest
Cat

Funny post 🙂 I own only one pistol and yepper, it is a USP40. I like it, I have tiny hands and long fingers. So I don’t have a problem holdiong it or shooting it. It’s the only .40 I’ve ever enjoyed shooting-the recoil reducer really does the trick. I don’t think it’s overlarge-and I have a full size one. I’m a woman and carry concealed-mostly in a Coronado purse-so it works fine and it also works fine in a shoulder holster under a loose shirt or jacket (and I’m small!). I like it because it’s a .40 with more… Read more »

JJ
Guest
JJ

I am friends with a guy who used to work for HK. He now works for a different gun company. He enlightened me to the inherent problems with HK the company: It’s 3 different and competing companies under one name. HK Law Enforcement, HK Military, and HK Europe. The three different HK’s compete, don’t like each other, and don’t cooperate well. HK doesn’t sell it’s most popular weapons to civilians because… it’s not what you think,,, they have TERRIBLE customer service, and they know it. The Germans have a different attitude towards customer service than the American companies, and they… Read more »

Steve
Guest
Steve

I have put over 25,000 rounds through my LEM USP Compact .40 and never had a malfunction. H&K did do a warranty p2000 firing pin upgrade a few years ago, but mine worked fine. II purchased an identical off duty carry USP discounted for $495 new which was a fair price. Recently, I have been dealing with their “civilian customer service department” for some SIG .357 barrels. It took about 6 months to receive them due to availability, but that was the only service issue I had with them! This is a reliable weapon if you treat like it might… Read more »

snowman77
Guest
snowman77

My usp compact in .40 works… EXTREMELY reliable. LEM trigger

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[…] is the H und K of the cable networking world. If you have cable internet, you’ve probably never heard of […]

Do your research
Guest
Do your research

The only thing that bothers me with this is rant is this. It postulates that if you use any H&K product, you are a fanboy and only falling for their marketing. My question is this. Regardless of the manufacturor. If the SpecOps community can have ANYTHING they want and can purchase it, why do they consistantly buy H&K? For example, Delta, they replaced all of their M4s with the 416. Surely youn’t saying that they are swallowed up by the hype. They are are real deal. They use it for real in ways that most of us never will. Granted… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Consider that ATF has a large number of O2 aircraft with FLIR. Allegedly, this is for “intercepting illegal arms shipments.” Now, a shipment of guns is pretty much like any other shipment of metal, and they’re available just about anywhere, and a good US machine shop (or garage) can make them cheaper than they can be imported by the truckload. So why does ATF have O2s and FLIR? Because DEA does, and ATF can’t admit it’s less cool and high tech than the drug chasers. They have HundKs, too. Because they need them. Because all the cool agencies have them.

Do your research
Guest
Do your research

Sorry, that should have been ‘fallen for it.’

TS
Guest
TS

“Do your research” – those mythical “SpecOps” teams have their gear purchased by bean-counting REMFs. The “operators” don’t have time to do procurements when they’re kicking in doors or practicing it. The bean counters buy things because they’re cool. As a quick example, the “SpecOps” equivalent in my agency bought an MRAP. There’s ZERO use for it. They’re astonishing imbeciles – like most “SpecOps” groups. The “SpecOps” community, outside of the military, is often guys who want to play military and be all “high speed low drag” without having to be in the military. They get their own little department… Read more »

furies
Guest
furies

“They’re astonishing imbeciles – like most “SpecOps” groups. The “SpecOps” community, outside of the military, is often guys who want to play military and be all “high speed low drag” without having to be in the military. They get their own little department and start buying toys. And they, being goofballs, will buy anything marketed properly. The military “SpecOps” units I’ve worked with have often proven themselves victims of their own hype (with alternating funny & painful or tragic results). Delta Force’s bean counters and handlers said “let’s get you some HK toys”. Actual troops are rarely part of the… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Furies: And that was the first time in history they actually did so.

And what do they have? A piston-driven AR. Why, that’s NEVER been done before.

Oh, wait, yes it has.

It’s entirely possible Larry and I, and others here, have worked more with Spec Ops types than you have. But go ahead, summarize your experience in the field, and we’ll give you a fair listen.

sato
Guest
sato

guns should only be used by security forces,police,army etc
nothing manly about using guns
but hey,guess im talking to a wall here
americans..

Asap
Guest
Asap

Fair enough. You are entitled to your opinion. But if you are going to come in here and say something that is obviously at odds with the general opinion of everyone else, you have three options: 1. Present your case, show us why you believe what you do and in general give us the arguments you feel pest support your conclusions. In that case, we may still disagree, but we have constructively exchanged views. 2. Shoot off some unfounded, unsubstantiated thoughts that just popped into your mind. Add things along the line of “u r like 2 stupid”. In other… Read more »

Dave Sohm
Guest
Dave Sohm

Guns should only be used by security forces, police, army, etc. . .

Yeah that worked great for Hitler’s Germany, Soviet Union, China, North Korea, and the area around by the horn of africa where all those ships get hijacked.

Pedro
Guest
Pedro

This guy sounds like a scorned angry old woman. Did HK give you an STD, got your sister pregnant and leave you four kids? That fact that a supposedly grown man can have so much hate for a company is laughable at best. The fact that you supposedly sell guns for a living makes it even worse. This dumb rant just makes you and the idiots that agree with you looks like ignorant clowns. And not only that it proves that you are the real fanboys hating a company for no apparent reason just because you don’t like their prices.… Read more »

Kristopher
Guest
Kristopher

H&Ks will give you STDs.

Do yourself a favor and sell your’s while you still can.

Do your research
Guest
Do your research

I am sorry, you are incorrect. Military specops, especially at the DEVGRU and Delta level have near complete control over what they use. Obviously at the lower levels, Rangers, etc. this is much less the case. At no point did I discuss the non military “specops” units. I would 100% agree on that as they are too busy copying others to be of use in a discussion. But those who work out in the tall grass, they use what they want. And very often, they use H&K. Nearly every Specop unit in the world uses the MP5 and has for… Read more »

Tam
Guest

So, let me guess… You were in SquEAL Team 37 1/2, right?

Shut the frick up, Counterstrike Poser Boy.

Do your research
Guest
Do your research

Don’t forget, H&K had to get involved to make the British L85 a good weapon. Beforehand, it was complete crap.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Do your research, on June 10th, 2009 at 1:58 am Said:
Don’t forget, H&K had to get involved to make the British L85 a good weapon. Beforehand, it was complete crap.

~~~~

And $36 million later it still is. What’s your point?

German Infidel
Guest
German Infidel

I heard that HK is trying to poison the US water supply, by creating guns that will shoot high volumes of lead without breaking. You have been warned. Support those evil Germans at your own risk. Delta might support them, but if they get poisoned water in their canteens, they’ll kill Germany. You don’t have that option.

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[…] HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. […]

stop dreaming start action
Guest

Having said that, they are all way overpriced and their is a huge degree of marketing hype that plays into this. But not everyone that buys has falled for it.

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[…] Oh… And I’d be remiss in not paying homage to the original. […]

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[…] the idea of the grip-cocking functionality as a safety. Just feels so solid, natural and secure. HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation __________________ Springfield Armory Xtreme Duty .45 ACP The .45 ACP – 230 grains of freedom! […]

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[…] Correia has a book out. It seems that in addition to being an HK fan boy, he likes to write. It’s called Monster Hunter International and you can get it at that […]

Hardware
Guest
Hardware

If you really want to get a rise out of Hans and Franz, ask them how much it cost the Bundesrepublik to license the G3 design from CETME. I have a CETME, and love it. But I got the rare one that shoots to point of aim. Yes, it’s heavy. But so is my Garand. It’s ergonomics were designed for an alien. It doesn’t extract, it spits out the mangled brass when it is done with it. But I love a gun that doesn’t have a gas system at all. The system needs to be be salvaged and put into… Read more »

gunsmith_student
Guest
gunsmith_student

I’m a student at a gunsmith school… so I’ve got some experience working with several different handguns (in addition to owning several). I had bought a USP Custom Combat (.40 S&W) last November, and shot itit a few times. With my CZ-75 and my Beretta 92FS, I can keep a good tight group out at 15 yds, but with the USP, it’s like I only shoot the left half of the target, in a perfect half circle! Every time I shot it, it was like that. I think it has to do with the plastic trigger that flexes… my 92FS… Read more »

DARANGEMASTER
Guest
DARANGEMASTER

Ah so true I used to work for a medium sized PD as an Armorer/Rangemaster and have been to HK school several tiems for the MP5,roller lock rifles, trigger group, g36. All you say is correct, they don’t really like LE I had some smg’s BO for just a couple of extractor springs and F/P springs, stupid stuff. and after 6 months I gave up ordering them and called the instructor from the school and he sent me some to get the guns running. I ahve had some issues with USP 40’s with frame cracks near the rear of the… Read more »

Beck
Guest
Beck

Yeah…. they treat civilians like crap. When I was in the Marines a couple years ago I was hoping that the corps would adopt the HK45 because the M9 is weak IMO. Now I hope the US Gov tells HK to eat a dick. They want Gov contracts and don’t care about civilians. I am selling my USP 45

Military Man
Guest
Military Man

comment image

Made in Germany! You know the Germans always make good stuff!

I’ve had the opportunity to shoot a number of HK military products and the only one that impresses me is the MP5SD. Nothing else is worth my time. Nothing.

Scott
Guest
Scott

I am a former Marine, and over many years have had the opportunity to shoot a number of weapons. I recently bought a HKP30L after a long review of S&W M&P and Springfield XD along with a few others. The HK turned out to be the best ergonomically design weapon for me I have ever held. After firing it a few times since the purchase I am in love with it. I am left handed so that was a consideration also. I love its accuracy, its low recoil, it ease of cleaning, it appears to take any ammo, the mag… Read more »

charles
Guest
charles

I’ve owned 4 hk usp 45 pistols. All work flawless and are worth their cost. I’ve had two glocks and both were junk! I just got a new model 21 and the damn thing jammed 4 times with 100 rounds ran though it. Probaly ammo glock peeps will say. Hk you can ran any ammo no jam ..life saved..simply put…

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

I own a $80 Grendel that works as well as you claim your H&Ks do.

Interestingly, HundK failed this test: http://www.theprepared.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=90&Item

Xanatos
Guest
Xanatos

Just read the article, funny AND true. The XM8 has been improved a bit, but I’d still prefer a Magpul ACR. I don’t really see what’s so good about the XM8 in the first place; it’s basically a plastic G36 with a different sighting system, collapsible stock and polygonal rifling.
The MP7 is H&K’s answer to the P90 after FN showed them up with the FAL… the P90 is still better.

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[…] Full article at Larry Correia’s Monster Hunters Nation Blog – HERE […]

Travis
Guest
Travis

I’ve never shot an HK (outside of video games), so I can’t comment on them… but that was still one hilarious read. XD

Rasborne
Guest
Rasborne

LOL Larry, Love it!

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[…] Because you suck and we hate you. […]

Andrew
Guest
Andrew

H&K is overpriced shit!

Emile Corday
Guest
Emile Corday

If you get a sneer from HK for wanting to handle an MP5 at the shot show, it’s because you don’t have a class 3 license. If you do not have a class 3, you cannot handle a fully automatic weapon. To have disdain for someone following FFL laws is moronic. IF the MP5 was so cheap and you hold it with such disdain, then why whine about not being able to handle one on a forum? And if the MP5 was such a piece of crap, then why do most tactical teams use one? Not that I care about… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

You’re kidding, right? “Class 3 license”? Look, you want to buy a transferrable, fully automatic H&K (or any other NFA-regulated death blaster, INCLUDING a 155 howitzer), it’s a simple formula: Price of gun + $200 tax stamp + Any fees you end up paying if teh gun has to be transferred to an NFA dealer in your state (like $200/pop for every transfer where a dealer is at both ends of the transaction) That’s it. Oh — one exception. . . teh TRANSFER tax on an “AOW” is only $5 — all other NFA jobs (like machineguns, silencers, etc.) are… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Sorry, one slight edit of a typo:

“like $200/pop for every transfer where a deal is _NOT_ at both ends of the transaction”

You Smell
Guest
You Smell

You smelly finger.

One does not require a “class 3 license” to merely handle an automatic firearm.

Only when you dealer in such firearms a license is required.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Emile: Actually, your ignorance is showing. As long as there is at least one person in immediate control of the Class III, anyone else may handle it. It’s amusing you would think otherwise. As for the “overly hyped Austrian pistol,” in this ongoing, decade long, real world test, it shits all over the HundK: http://www.theprepared.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=90&Item But if the Fine Tchermahn engineers would like to match up, I’m sure Gaston would be agreeable. ~~~~~ I pulled the USP compact out of the bucket [of sand] (it was loaded but decocked), pulled the trigger, hammer falls but no bang. I pull the… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

FYI, the SOCOM hates the USPOS and uses 1911s whenever possible.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Oh, and Rockwell A is a lower hardness than Rockwell C. And steel is measured on C, not A, so I’m not sure where you’re getting this shit. Do you know anything about guns at all?

Emile Corday
Guest
Emile Corday

Do you know anything about machining? There are different grades of rockwell hardness for steel, when a company states that their precision tool steel pieces are have a rockwell hardness of 52-55 they do not state if it’s C, B, or A, you have to ask. The process to a fully automatic firearm is a little more complicated that what you are describing. Yes there is a tax stamp but to get a Class III you have to undergo an extensive background check, more than your average run of the mill FFL form to purchase a firearm. SOCOM may hate… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

EXTENSIVE BACKGROUND CHECK? Do you have any idea what that “extensive” check actually involves? It simply means they check ALL the records to answer two, simple, basic, questions: 1. Is this person at least 21 years old? 2. Is this person legally allowed to possess ANY kind of firearm? Even the question of , “Is this person allowed to own THIS kind of firearm in HIS state?” isn;t answered by the ATF’s “extensive background check” — which is why they have what is called the “CLEO signature requirement”. As for the MK23 being the “most extensively tested handgun in history”?… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Emily, I have 26 years experience heat treating, and 24 years military. I believe I know a little about heat treating. A steel at Rockwell 52-55 will be on the C scale. It would not be on the A scale–for thin, hard materials–or the B scale–for soft metals. That’s the summary for complete novices or wannabes. A Rockwell B of 52-55 is so soft as to not even register on the C scale—HRC 20, the softest steel can be reliably measured, is a 97 on the B scale, and even 0 HRC would be 80 HRB. A 55 on the… Read more »

Emile Corday
Guest
Emile Corday

I have several years experience as a prototype maker, machinist, and armorer for a state tactical team. I simply said that there is more than one scale for Rockwell hardness. Which in your own words have confirmed this is true. And companies with a play on words, do use the other scales for stating their parts meet certain criteria for hardness. That is why when you place an order for stock you have to ask which scale they used for the hardness rating on their part. Also the 1911 is disqualified by SOCOM for other reasons. SOCOM states that parts… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Emile,

You stated you need a Class 3 license to TOUCH an NFA item at a gunshow.

You have stated the FFL/SOT requirements to be an NFA dealer.

Not the same at all.

You Google-Fu is weak, fanboi.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Nice copy paste. Your original reference to heat treating was quote: that are machined and then heat treated to the A class scale of RC hardness. Not the C or D class as the overly hyped Austrian counter part./quote Since your copy paste confirms my response that the scales are not comparable, and A isn’t used for tool steel mechanical components, and since D is not either, and the scales are not a “class,” what was the point of this stupid statement? If you actually knew ANYTHING about heat treating, you would never have made the statement. “The A scale… Read more »

Emile Corday
Guest
Emile Corday

I believe that you having to have in your possession the tax stamp before your purchase says it all. And some state and local laws do require you to have the stamp even before you can handle an NFA item. If it was so easy as you claim, then everyone who owns a firearm could get one. Simple fact is, not everyone can qualify for one. As far as A scale, C scale, or class, not all steel bar stock, flat stock, cold rolled, hot rolled, has a C hardness. Most of the time the hardness scale is applied to… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Emile, You’re quite simply factually wrong. You DO NOT need the tax stamp before PURCHASE, you need it before TRANSFER. Just like, when buying a “normal” handgun from a dealer, you need to fill out teh Form 4473 before the transfer, but you can freely finger-fuck the piece all you (and the dealer) want before that. Including test firing it. (Good luck getting a dealer to let you test fire a new gun. But legally, you can do it if teh dealer says OK.) In fact, if you had anything to do with the NFA world, you would already know… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

“. . .I prefer an AK 47 or SKS, which is stamped . . . ” Neither of these two weapons is stamped. Both are MILLED out of a big assed chunk of steel, leaving something like 80% or more of the steel on the grounds as chips. The AKM is stamped. Not teh AK47. Learn the terminology before trying to pretend to hang with the big dogs. (I’ll admit that I’M not a “Big Dog” in relation to Mike Z. Williamson or Larry Correia. But I cna sling the lingo and understand which end the dangerous things come out.… Read more »

Bill
Guest
Bill

60% of US All Police Departments use Glock 22 (40 cal) See Massad Ayoob Gun article. Other PDs use Glock 19 and Glock 17 in 9mm. Thats alot of market share, not to mention Glocks Worldwide presence in Asia, Europe, Middle East. Those that dont use Glock, and Euro PD forces primarily require an external safety, Glock doenst offer one. Some US Police forces have issues with affirmative- action police candidates, shooting themselves without a safety. NATO used CZ again as it has an external safety. For the money, Glock 17/17/22 is about as fine a weapon as you can… Read more »

JRS
Guest
JRS

Since you brought up “US military and Nato use the M9”, I figured I might point out that you’ve just proved Correia45’s and others talking point about how little input the actual soldiers have over the political purchase process. We “The government pencil pushers” still went and bought the piece of crap M9’s after WE “The IB soldiers at Benning” broke just about every dammed one of them during testing and begged to stick with the M1911A1. However, in the name of good politics, bridge building, cost savings and ammo compatibility amongst NATO countries, we still got tied to that… Read more »

Emile Corday
Guest
Emile Corday

Really do want to go there. Big Dogs??? Not all Ak47’s or SKS’s are milled? The Norinco’s are stamped with hardened steel inserts. Now, I know why Hanz and Franz at the show did not allow you, Larry, and other to handle the MP5. Let’s not forget that management reserves the right rule, which I see was well applied by them. First you make it sound as if you can go into any Federal building with your form and $200 and you can get your stamp to buy NFA items. You make it sound as if there is no finger… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Emile, That’s funny you bring up the Norincos. Given that I have owned and sold both the Norico SKS and teh semiauto AK47 variant they used to import. Never seen a stamped SKS receiver. Ever. In fact, the milling marks are VERY apparant in almost every SKS (including non-Chinese versions). Of course, the fact that the entire ComBloc world used essentially the same tooling to produce them may have something to do with that. But then, that’s esoteric knowledge that takes such awesome research skills as 10 minutes on Google to discover. . . Larry (nor anyone here) NEVER indicated… Read more »

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

BTW, Emile, In the entire history of the 1934 National Firearms Act, NOT ONE CASE has been found where a person was denied permission to possess an NFA “firearm” (not even super-secret squirrel magical HK MP5s) by ATF because their sheriff wouldn’t sign off on it. many cases where “prohibited persons” were denied, or where state law doesn’t permit it — but NOT ONE where Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane simply said, “Well, one o’them Duke boys don’t NEED a machinegun.” Not one case. If you DO know of a case, please tell — the ENTIRE NFA community is interested. If… Read more »

Dave Sohm
Guest

“But I don’t know what I’m talking about, when I say your local sheriff has to finger print you, run a back ground check, and that the Feds will run your finger prints again once you turn in all your forms, pictures, and money. That is, if your sheriff will approve you having an NFA item to begin with” They ain’t saying that isn’t paper work to fill out, they are saying that all that stuff basically amounts to a background check, and that they are checking to make sure you aren’t a felon or crazy. Plus, where do you… Read more »

Dave Sohm
Guest

I may be ignorant about law enforcement signing off on a machine gun purchase, but when I bought my shotgun a few weeks ago, there was no sheriff present.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Emile, give up. It’s obvious you’re a douche and we’re laughing at you. The people you’re arguing with write professional articles, go on TV, do reviews, provide feedback to manufacturers, build weapons, use them professionally, sell them. Are you the kind of person who claims to be a “former Navy SEAL” too? On second thought, please keep posting. This is very entertaining. FYI, the Norinco is technically a Type 56, stamped or milled. The AK47 was milled. The AKM (modernized) was stamped. The generic term “AK47” suffices for everyday use. Incidentally, if one has to have a nonexistent “Class 3… Read more »

Kulibin
Guest
Kulibin

Much entertaining thread indeed. But, Michael, just want to make a quick note since we’re somewhat anal about names here. Originally pre-AKM gun was not officially called AK-47. It was called AK ( folding stock model was called AKS). And first production batches of AK and AKS were not milled but stamped from 1.5mm and later from 1.7mm sheets. A bit later receiver became milled and then, of course, stamped again (AKM).

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

http://world.guns.ru/assault/as01-e.htm Maxim Popenker is pretty much THE source for info on the AK series. It wasn’t “officially” called the AK47 in the USSR, but was in the West. Since this is the west, that is correct nomenclature, depending on the model.

And since we very cleverly arranged for Russian not to be the preferred language…;-)

Kulibin
Guest
Kulibin

Fine:) Let me clarify. My main point was that Russian assault rifle widely known in the West as AK-47 (:P) first was produced with the stamped, not machined, receiver.

Simply put there is such an animal as a stamped AK-47.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

I must apologize for one thing: I typoed “Emily” instead of
“Emile.” I intended no slur on your name.

You’re still an idiot, though.

Benjamin Blatt
Guest
Benjamin Blatt

Emile,
Please cite for me your source regarding “Class 3 Licenses” and/or the ATF denying an NFA purchase where otherwise legal because of a sheriff’s opinion. Seriously, I have extensively researched this material previously, but as an attorney I would be remiss in not keeping up to date with such sweeping changes to what I thought was the current law.

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Counselor, It’s obvious he thinks being a Class 3 Special Occupational Taxpayer is a ‘license”, rather than an additional endorsement to an FFL (which ARE licenses, but are rated in “Types” not “Classes”). Not knowing anything but what a quick glance at the Bardwell pages between Halo game sessions could tell him, he doesn’t realize that, in the law, terminology matters. If he restricted himself to casual speech, I wouldn’t be pedantic — but he started trying to speak some garbled babbling parrot of Higher Legalese, I feel it’s appropriate to hammer him on it. I am awaiting his citation… Read more »

Charlie Mead
Guest
Charlie Mead

Mr. Emile –

Since you are apparently an expert, can you help me with a quesion that has been nagging at me ever since I heard about it:

Do I duct tape one or two trauma plates to my briefcase to shield me from the sniper with the 338 Lapua Magnum as I make my way to my heavily armored golf cart?

::::kisses::::

Charlie

{{{{RIP Chuck}}}}

Benjamin Blatt
Guest
Benjamin Blatt

Charlie,
you should always wear two Level IV plates front AND back as well as two iiia soft armor vests, a iiia MICH helmet, groin protector, double side ESAPI plates, and a lexan face shield in case you need to protect yourself from multiple .338 AP strikes while guarding that mall. You might also consider replacing your golf cart with an MRAP or Bradley AFV.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

You’ll need smoke generators and water cannon on that golf cart. Luckily, the cart is free with the current bailout:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704107204574473724099542430.html

Charlie Mead
Guest
Charlie Mead

Thank you for the responses.

As much as I would like to be able to get a Bradley or an LAV, I think the best we could do is a surplus M113 using DHS and stimulus money.

The only trouble with an M113 is that our SW3s won’t fit in the weapons racks. Also I’m not sure we can pintle mount our HK21s.

And technically it’s an outdoor mulitple retail business establishment zone and not a mall, but we have the same issues.

Thanks again,

Charlie

{{{{{{RIP Chuck}}}}}}

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Charlie: If you can wait a few months, I believe HundK is going to cut a deal to get Stryker vehicles. They’re perfectly suited for each other.

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Chuck,

Don’t forget to vary your loads in the mounted smoke grenade launcher with a mix of M90 smoke and XL96E1 riot control rounds.

That way, when you are mobbed by a horde of soccermoms trying to get Christmas’s hottest toy and faced with long range fire from a sniper equipped with advancd IR sights, you’ll be able to withdraw the affected track while his wingman bounds to a better attack position.

Charlie Mead
Guest
Charlie Mead

We definitely need to mix the loads for the Christmas rush. There’s nothing, and I mean nothing as frightening as a deranged mob and Color Me Elmo. I’d rather face a whole legion of zombies. Ugh. I wonder if DHS will supply some “brown note” sonic weapons this year? BTW – I’m not Chuck. Larry rather flippantly reported his passing which I’m slightly perturbed about. Great guy – lots of money and cool toys. I guess he moved to Atlanta and fell in with a REALLY rough crowd…. Strykers would rock. I wonder if I can pre-order from Special Weapons?

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Strykers DO rock. And then they tip over.

{snicker}

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Oh, and sorry about the name SNAFU.

Charlie Mead
Guest
Charlie Mead

No biggie about the name.

That’s not the worst of it actually.

When I’m not serving humanity at the mall, I work on the 14th floor of an office building in Dallas.

We used to share floor space with a company named Hanson.

Thank God I’m not an accountant…..

Which brings me to another nagging question, Larry, how did a 500 year old Central American native learn Norse mythology? You couldn’t have referenced 12/21/2012 instead?

Charlie

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

comment image I can’t believe no one has posted this yet.

Evan Payawal
Guest
Evan Payawal

Well, the BMW 3 series is one of the most desirable, “chicks did it” cars around. It has less interior space than a Honda Civic, costs nearly three times as much, has less features, is in the shop twice the amount of time as the Honda….but it sells great.
Brand equity is a fascinating thing. And you’re right, the fact that HK restricts civilian sales makes their FAs even more desirable! Forbidden fruit…
I have three HKs…and it’s not about practicality. It’s about desire.

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Evan,

I’m all in about the “But I WANT it!!!” factor. There’s a reason I like the TT-33, even though objectively, the only favorable comparison you can make about it compared to “modern” service type pistols is it has better terminal performance than the FN FiveSeven. {grin}

trackback

[…] understand, and because it is all H&K wants you to have, because you suck, and they hate you. HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation   __________________   "An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is […]

Tom
Guest
Tom

This review is dead on, HK’s are highly over-rated guns that have abominable triggers, piss poor ergonomics and an outrageously high price tag. They are no more reliable, accurate or durable than many other guns and their undeserved reputation as superweapons is due to their fanboy following, most of whom have never shot the guns which they fawn over. The FN-FAL will indeed thoroughly spank the pants off of the G3 just as a Glock 17 or Sig 226 will put a HK pistol to shame.

redeux
Guest
redeux

this is still going 2+ years later ? dayum!
anyway, my p2k 40 lem is still going strong …
no malfunctions or breakages in over 2 years …
bought a p2ksk40 to go with it …
snark all you want , but they do work and work well…R

trackback

[…] выложил знатное, а именно письмо ненависти к Heckler und Koch. The MP5 became famous when the SAS used them to kick the living hell out of […]

Liberals suck
Guest
Liberals suck

I have shot the MP5, G3, USP, Socom, P7, and the VP70Z. Can’t say I was impressed enough with any of them to justify paying the price for one. Before anyone jumps on me, I own a pristine P7M8 and I love the way the gun handles and feels but it’s not ever going to be my carry gun. I only carry Glock because it hasn’t failed me yet in the last 15 years that I have relied on one. As for long guns, I’ll take a decent M4 platform anyday for the price. The MP5 is a great gun,… Read more »

Ted
Guest
Ted

Fuck my USP. Stupid giant damned engine block slide. Went to a buddy’s farm, plinked at some cans. Had a hell of a lot better luck with his Glock than I did with my boat anchor that also fires bullets. Never again with the damn nazi decended sons of whores get any more money from me. In consolation, the pistol was used when I got it, so I’m pretty sure they didn’t get any money from me, anyway. If anyone has a time machine, please go back to mid-August, 2008 and steer me too something that doesn’t have an insane… Read more »

trackback

[…] update about HK Posted on February 3, 2010 by correia45 I wrote this http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2007/10/09/hk-because-you-suck-and-we-hate-you/ on October of 2007.  Which is like ten million years in internet […]

FatWhiteMan
Guest

I come back and read this about every 4-5 months. Still cracks me up as does the fan boys in the comments. Glad to see folks are still commenting.

Blubby
Guest

You guys are funny. “Fanboys” and people who are afraid that they cant buy guns as Civilians complaining about marketing of HK? Guys, what you do think whos doing the “marketing” for america? Not german people do that! That is the american HK who have to do such kind of bullshit and anyway, there is no need to discuss why you should need a full automatic HK416, or is there? Do you think we in germany can buy guns as civilians? No! Not a fucking stupid little pistol and that is how it should be in a civilized country! Just… Read more »

You Smell
Guest
You Smell

“No! Not a fucking stupid little pistol and that is how it should be in a civilized country!”

lol…

Yeah the germans are so civilized…

You guys hold the highest number of registered domains for scat websites.

Scott
Guest
Scott

Blubby, We have a Constitution in America that states we have a right to own guns. No other Constitution allows for that. We do not want our government to get to big even thought Obama is doing all he can to do that. Not allowing guns to be bought by civilians does not reduce the use of guns in America. The guns used by the bad guys are bought illegally and then the good guys can not defend themselves. Not allowing guns to be owned by civilians only increases crimes. Look at Chicago, Detroit etc. How about Switzerland where everyone… Read more »

Blubby
Guest

You guys say all the same, you must be some gunloving rednecks. Well, have fun killing yourself as long as you keep staying where you are! In fact you people kill more inocents then criminals with your laws which really allow everyone to have a gun. You cannot compare your “redneck”-“gunlover”-“child” laws with them of Switzerland you idiot. I cant stand your bullshit talking really. Just kill your wife “accedently” or some guys who just have a TV remote control in the hands and you think “it could have been a weapon”…. blah blah, you guys suck. Your freedom policity… Read more »

The Northwestern Diamondback of THR
Guest
The Northwestern Diamondback of THR

Actually, Blubbertroll, I hate beer, don’t hunt and am pursuing a Masters in History. And oh, by the way, I use words with a syllable-count most would sprain their brains trying to pronounce let alone comprehend. “Redneck?” I think not… And, by the way, Besserwisser, I’m STILL waiting for your answer to the issue with my friend and her psycho ex. We don’t have “freedom” to kill, we have “justifiable” or “excusable homicide” under certain very specific, limited conditions, such as when the deceased was trying to kill us, or when some fool runs out onto the highway in front… Read more »

Bob
Guest
Bob

Will the last real German to leave Def Vaterland please hand the keys to the nearest Turk?

Das ist alles…….

Iman Azol
Guest
Iman Azol

So, Blubber, in your “civilized” country full of Nazis, communists, Greens, Hamas supporters, etc, you think we’re uncivilized? Guess what? We don’t give a @#$ what you think in the Third World. You have the economy of one of our average sized states, men in leather straps, and HundK. And regardless of what you think of it, guns ARE legal here, HundK is in the business of selling guns, and does a piss-poor job of it in the biggest market there is. If it’s such a moral point for them, perhaps they shouldn’t be in the arms business at all.… Read more »

Iman Azol
Guest
Iman Azol

Oh, and Blubber, if guns kill people, I have 237 that are defective.

btw, last I checked, our death rate is lower than yours, our GDP higher, and freedom is never “insane,” except to Communist and Nazi wannabes. Which are you?

Linoge
Guest

Blubby, I am too lazy to come up with a tactful way to express this, so I will simply say it – you are not too terribly bright, are you? 1. Statistics do not back up your “kill more innocents than criminals” claim. Assuming you know what statistics are. 2. We do not have a “freedom policity (sic – and what is a “policity”, anywise)” to kill other people. 3. The term is not “redneck” – it is “Appalachian American”… at least from my stretch of the woods. 4. Go see what our gracious host has done to your previous… Read more »

Nick
Guest
Nick

Appalachian American 🙂 Best term ever

Scott
Guest
Scott

Blubby is a result of the liberal left socialist teaching since the 70’s throughout Europe. Maybe he was never taught the true history of Reagan’s roll in knocking down the wall to allow both East and West Germany to join as one once again. He like most Europeans worship at the alter that enslaves people, the socialist, communist alter

Darwin
Guest
Darwin

Scott. You are stupid.

Scott
Guest
Scott

Blubby, FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE 1. “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.”~Thomas Jefferson 2. “Those who trade liberty for security have neither.” ~ John Adams 3. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. 4. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject. 5. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them. 6. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control. 7. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for. 8. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns,… Read more »

Robb
Guest

I just read this on http://www.slickdeals.net

Was that you? Or one of your fans?

Also, is your book available for purchase WITH the awesome.mil looking morale patch? Thanks and God bless!

Robb
Guest

Posting fail… I just checked your webstore and got the answer to one of my questions (about the patch and book).

Still curious about the other ones, though. Thanks!

Tim
Guest
Tim

finally someone else gets the hk snob expierence
I thought it was my aftershave.. I like the G3 it fits me for my size but I preffer the M14. the G3 is fun to shoot but its far from perfect. great post Tim

lee
Guest
lee

I love your site, its hillarious. I work at a gunshop (have worked at 4 of them). We all joke about how horrific HK service is. Ordering guns from them is even a joke, they CONSTANTLY forget to ship crap you order from them. We call them back “hey, wheres our damn order”? They reply “yeah, we forgot bout that”, or theyve said “we never got a order from you”. the BEST reply is when they say “yeah, well ship that when we get to it…”……….”why? dont you have it in stock????”…….HK replies “yeah, we got em’, but well ship… Read more »

lee the gun peddler
Guest
lee the gun peddler

I forgot to add. Ahem….

Yes, I own several HK handguns, and like them, including many many many Glocks and others,

AND, Yes, I despise HK for their overpriced snobbery, dogshit customer non-existent service, overpriced parts, and their fascist “up yours, we hate civilians” eurotrash attitude.

Glock recoil assembly replacement cost???? $18

HK recoil assembly replacement cost??? $95

(whatthefuck,… thats insane)

William
Guest
William

3 years and still going strong!

I remember being completely hyped to try out a USP and afterwards thinking, “Huh? That was ok, I guess.”

Really the only HK I’d want, even if I had unlimited funds would be the SL6 or SL7 (mit zwei round burst!), which of course they won’t sell me.

Jeebus
Guest
Jeebus

Funny stuff, I just killed an hour reading all of this. I always wondered where the famous “because you suck and we hate you” quote came from, and in all my years on gunboards and deeply into the hobby…I’m ashamed to say I never knew until now. Anyway, I’ve got to say I do disagree on some points. I’m not a fanboy of anything, I have alot of firearms by alot of makers and what I likes I likes…and I do like the G3 and the USP (.40). I actually think the g3 has less recoil than my FAL or… Read more »

N/A
Guest
N/A

Best gun ever made, downright AK47
don’t badmouth it, its true,
everyone uses it.

Go ahead, go to Africa and buy an AK47 for a chicken with mix-matched AK parts and see if it still doesn’t fire the way its supposed to. Single greatest gun ever created. Does what a gun should do, kill everything and not stop no matter what the situation. That’s all I got to say.

Rick R.
Guest
Rick R.

Obviously, you’ve never actually seen a Third World Kalashnikov that’s been “maintained” by a cave man for 20-30 years.

When the US decided to rebuild the Iraqi army, they had to pretty much re-equip them with small arms (strating off with AK purchased from European armories, as the former Warsaw Pact nations fell over themselves trying to requip to NATO standards), becuase the current inventory of AKMs was effectively useless from neglect and abuse.

Kalashnikovs are really good rifles, but they aren’t magical, either.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Sounds more like a Spanish Eibar .32 revolver.

AKs DO jam on occasion.

Testosterone
Guest
Testosterone

Best. Essay. Ever.

jason b from NC
Guest
jason b from NC

I own 4 AKMs, the Hungarian one being my favorite of the bunch. And I don’t suck cause Mikhail Kalashnikov Loves me.lol

trackback

[…] stuff. Sincerely HK Marketing DepartmentHK. Because you suck. And we hate you. More at link. HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. He also has a great book out…Monster Hunters International.   __________________ […]

Joe I.
Guest
Joe I.

Thank you for the article, I nearly died laughing! (Effective ammo, these blogs, ain’t they? – And cheap too!)

I don’t have any experience with HK products, but exactly as you say the “fan boys” parise them to high heavens while real-world people have a ‘slightly’ more sobering approach.

Keap it up!

furies
Guest
furies

The little town of Oberndorf on the Neckar has been making the finest firearms in the world for over 150 years – call it Mauser Werkes or Heckler Koch or what have you…these people know metallurgy – using alloys and temperature variance to create precision on a quantum level – though, like the japanese sword-smiths, they weren’t initially sure why the greatness occurred – these days…they know. The HK marketing department isn’t that big. It does not have to be. They simply organize testing of their products which sell themselves. A separate firm creates the licensed logo “shwag” that moves… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Ah, a perfect little drone. I see the marketing worked on you. Ask anyone with experience and they’ll take a PPSh or Sterling over an MP5. Since you’re so knowledgeable, tell us what differences you experienced between the three, and why you chose the MP5. You DO have actual trigger time on an MP5, yes? You’re not just citing an opinion based on marketing, are you? Nothing wrong with Mausers, but Mosin Nagants work just as well, cheaper. Of course, neither is in military production anymore. The FAL, the AR series and the AK series have sold millions more units… Read more »

furies
Guest
furies

Muahhaahhahhaaaaaa – now I know you are kidding around with this whole thing – PPsH tipped it off…unless you are a poor Albanian terrorist “operator” then your modern choice of arms definitely drops the dime on this sham flamer blog. Funny though, especially when you whine about stamped steel in HK’s lineup but prefer the war rationeering, punched out of tin plates, could-make-one-yourself-in-ten-days-with-anvil-and-barstock…sten and ppsh. Which are reliable bullet hoses spraying all around your target area, then sometimes cooking off the last 20 rounds of a drum as it jumps skyward. And the soviets did beat the germans with em… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Furies: Thanks for the laugh:)

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Furies, You might want to go check out the follow-up post to this one. I hammer out the tactical differences between the PPSh41 and the HK MP5 over there. Hate to tell you, but PPSh41’s have a better track record for durability than MP5s. So do Sterlings and Uzis. Ask people who RUN submachinegun training courses and SMG competitions. MP5s frequently break during classes, while Uzis and Sterlings rarely do. Meanwhile, 60 year old wartime production (in other words, made with all the love and attention of an aluminum beer can) PPSh41’s still shine in competition, even with high-volume shooters.… Read more »

JRS
Guest
JRS

Mercedes is the “Safest Car in the world?”

Nah… that would be the wife’s Volvo XC60. Her old ML 320 was only safe because it spent more time parked in the service bay than on the road.

trackback

[…] HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation __________________ Pray for peace; prepare for war. Hospitaller: Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves. "If not now, then when?" – הלל "Why do cowards speak the loudest?" – Paul Joshua Sandoval. […]

Furies
Guest
Furies

Geodike, your reply was hilariously ignorant. Starting with reliability-yes a ppsh41 may be more so, but a baseball bat is far more so. You want to bring that to the fight hoping luck’s on your side and the MP5 might jam? Compare the ammo and the 9mm loses? Try a .40 MP5. No? How about a 10mm MP5 if you truly want your subguns completely overwhelmed in accuracy, reach, and power. Again, what is your mission? Mowing down small villages… your guns shine, but say your son has a gun to his head at 30 yards and is being forced… Read more »

FYI Man
Guest
FYI Man

but say your son has a gun to his head at 30 yards and is being forced into a leaving van? One chance…and what tool do professionals (not you) choose when they must make that choice at any moment every day? Obviously, the MP5, with its armor-piercing incendiary explosive neurotoxin teflon German rounds that shoot .2MOA at 30 yards from a subgun. I carry one every waking moment of the day, and sleep with one by my side, just in case I wind up 30 yards from my son as he’s abducted into a van. Or I would, if HundK… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Furies: You didn’t actually address what I wrote. BTW, your statement about what happens when someone fires a PPSh41 is a dead giveaway that you have never, in fact, actually fired one. Also that you have likely never had ANY “professional” training or trigger time on ANY automatic weapon. Nor have you ever actually gone to see a SMG competition. The MP5 IS more accurate than any WWII SMG I can think of in semiauto. Being a closed bolt design helps, for the same reason that the Stoner DI system yields itself to higher accuracy than a gas piston design… Read more »

zacharyhill
Guest

As a “real Soldier” yeah, most of army life is boring routine with weapon and gear inspections, not slogging through swamps with knives held in our teeth.

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[…] forces however so I'll have to settle for the glock 17 and the occasional go with a c7a1. HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation sums up HK quite well __________________ For the humor impaired, all sarcasm will now be […]

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[…] Posted by FennRx HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. Monster Hunter Nation sums up HK quite well Fuck it. Taxpayers […]

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[…] […]

Slickwilly TFCF
Guest
Slickwilly TFCF

I can’t speak much about the long guns from HK, since I don’t have much experience with them specifically, but I agree that they’re being ridiculous by making them scarce among civilians. As far as their pistols go, I’ve shot quite a few, from the P30, P2000, and the USP’s and I’ve had the opportunity to fire both the 1911 MEUSOC and the POS Berretta M9 while I was in the corps. I have a USPc in .40 and it’s my daily carry weapon. I haven’t had any problems with it for the two years I’ve had had it; and… Read more »

VirginiaCarry
Guest
VirginiaCarry

Hilarious write up, you’ve definitely got a future in it if the firearms, operator or whatever the hell business you do now. Heckler and Kock rifles are definitely some overprice, less than average performers. As far as handguns are concerned: 45ACP feels shitty in all of their offerings. If a sidearms feels shitty, then it will likely shoot shitty for that individual. I’ll stick with 1911’s in that caliber. In .40, which has been my most commonly shot and carried caliber, I do love a full sized USP (none of that fancy special ops pararescue seal ranger delta uber leet… Read more »

fartknocker
Guest
fartknocker

you comment-deleting terd burglar. The author deletes comments on this post at his discretion, because you suck, and he hates you.

Seriously, grow a pair and let the 1st amendment ring, you fucking pansy.

Tim
Guest
Tim

Oh yeah, BTW I would rather have a sister in a whorehouse than any H&K!

Furies
Guest
Furies

Why not have both since you already halfway there!

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

You know, for someone who is “off to the real world, never to return”, you sure are busy throwing personal insults at people’s family. You still haven’t documented your (typical fanboi) assertions about HK’s unqualified superiority to the “world’s elite operating community” in the face of the domentable fact that they have, by and large, been moving AWAY from HK weapons over the last decade or so. . . I’ll answer YOUR question directly. At the family reunion, when someone shows up with a shotgun and starts shooting, the best weapon I could reach for would be something along the… Read more »

ejpedde
Guest
ejpedde

” i’m off to the real world, never to return”

Goddammit! You’re back!

Tam
Guest

Did you really just say “I’ve gone with my uncle to Knob Creek”?

Shut up, kid.

FYI Man
Guest
FYI Man
Furies
Guest
Furies

Heheh. Overpenetration. That is the answer we were looking for. If you are launching .223 of any type at your family than we are right to question your loyalty to them (not an insult…observation). Another answer you are getting wrong is the trend in purchasing by top level operators, since they are definitely buying more HK products then ever before. Grenade launcher sales alone would discredit your claim (or even just the HK GMG), but several strangely public purchase decisions have also proved that the 416 is storming. And for those reading this before buying, keep in mind resale value… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Anyone mentioning “overpenetration” is admitting they know nothing about firearms whatsoever.

Of course, we knew that.

If you believe there’s a magic round that will shoot through bad guys but won’t shoot through walls, I have a bridge to sell you.

Furies
Guest
Furies

Alright, ‘you two’ – for an “entertaining writer”, those were boring replies. Overpenetration is hitting the family behind the bad guy, wall or no wall. If you want to know what “acceptable losses” means, ask those same TAP using SWAT guys. As far as continuing a moronic blog column for three years, that’s your doing. I’m only here since it’s funny to see you dodging the bulk of of the facts and hiding it with insults these past couple months. It’s interesting to me how you don’t have to address the shortcomings of your arguments by spending your response time… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Failure to address the myth of “overpenetration” fail.

You’ve never heard, nor fired a shot in anger. So your fanboi opinion of HundK is irrelevant.

It’s nice that you think you’re special, though.

JRS
Guest
JRS

No. Misses in real life do not mean you are dead. It simply means you wasted ammo.

Your opponent actually hitting you means you are a casualty, and may or may not be dead depending on how well he did or whether or not he had a lucky accident.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

“Overpenetration is hitting the family behind the bad guy, wall or no wall.”

That you are apparently unaware of how ignorant it is to recite such an armchair trope is hysterical.

Please, at least READ something by someone knowledgeable.

Furies
Guest
Furies

Mp5s shine because, since the 70’s the pro’s load with BAT (Blitz Action Trauma) type rounds that are teflon coated yet commit 100% of energy to target. Which brings us back to a weapons SYSTEM optimized for the application. Is this the magic bullet you meant? For which application? Oh wait. Facts. Sorry to bring those up since they aren’t welcome. When my stepmom killed her abusive ex-husband one night in the late 1980s in albuquerque, she used a VP70Z loaded with BAT bullets. He beat his way through a patio window with a ballping hammer (reliable weapon you can… Read more »

JRS
Guest
JRS

Stepmom?

So, you are saying that your DNA comes from a genius who managed to get himself torn in half with a hail of fire from a handgun because he was so awesome in his interpersonal skills and decision-making?

This explains a lot.

Furies
Guest
Furies

Hey its what I know but it ain’t BS – She got manslaughter 1 because the police considered it an “offensive weapon” system rather than a “defensive” one. Even the Albuquerque DA endorses HK as a quality sidearm. It was struck down because of, of course, the 2nd amendment makes no distinctions. But you should have at least said, “bet the first shot missed cause a that heavy trigger pull” (which is only the first round and in case you’ve been hit with a hammer, you don’t need to find the safety…just start squeezin), that would have meant you know… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Dude. Seriously. Keep talking. This is hysterical stuff. I’m going to call my friends at Mall Ninjae R Us because this is GOLD.

Tam
Guest

Mike,

Next time I have a beer with Farmer Frank, I’ll be sure to tell him that some kid on teh intarwebz loved his book so much that he memorized it.

“GECO BAT (“Blitz Action Trauma””! Oh, man, I’m still LOL’ing. This is better than finding an old Mack Bolan book. 😀

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Hey! I LOVED Mack Bolan. . . in high school.

I got bored about the time of the hit on Stony Man Farm.

But I still would like a .44 AutoMag for S&G. {grin}

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG

I beleive this is the part where his meds wore off.

JRS
Guest
JRS

“Pulse Laser 100 on my MP5, with surefire upgraded 190 lumens led and a can is a nice night light even these days + children can use it…”

At least children can dream of it…

But don’t they need a “Class III” ? *

*Sarcasm

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG

Hey everyone, it’s the second coming of Gecko 45!

Tam
Guest

I know Gecko45. Gecko45 is a friend of mine. And Furries is no Gecko45.

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Besides, if it was Gecko45, he’d HAVE to have come up with a “Plan B” by now.

Joe in PNG
Guest
Joe in PNG

No, really- we’re about THIIIIS close to him telling us about his tatical golf cart.

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

He could be the Mayor’s nephew, but Gecko45? Gecko is just 2 k00l 4 sk001.

(I think I just threw up a little in my mounth when I typed that. {snicker})

ejpedde
Guest
ejpedde

“I won’t continue since arguing with the slow kid is proof that I’m a little slow.” Furies, November 1st, 7:23 pm

Since then, you’ve made 5 posts, 4 of which could be argued to be on topic, and 1 which was an insult of rather poor taste.

On the other hand, I was disappointed that I’d already read the latest post, but this did provide some humor to my night.

furies
Guest
furies

Hey I’m not the one bringing up sisters or whorehouses, but if little Timmy can’t take the heat from a trolling statement like he should keep it on subject. It’s what got me started on this blog…talking about the best soldiers we have as being , “stupid and ignorant”. That got me going – not the belittling of a gun company that truly doesn’t care what any of us think. And maybe I’m still waiting for…98% of my points to be addressed about the perceived triviality of HK’s contributions to firearm technology. BAT bullets were only imported briefly in the… Read more »

Tam
Guest

No, seriously…

Shut up, kid.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

Funny thing. When those “best soldiers” came through my base, they had M4s and AKMs, with Berettae, GLOCKs and 1911s. I didn’t see any HundKs. It’s your story, though. I think most of your points were addressed–everything you attributed to HundK they stole from some other developer. You boast of how hard they are to get hold of. The price is indisputable. You boast of the crappy customer service. You affirm that this is because we suck, and they hate us, and we aren’t cool enough, and their business model is to not sell guns. What else needs addressed? Go… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Yay! Shooting 45lbs canines with APIT-HE! What fun for a budding sociopath!

I’ll save you some time and money. The Norweigans already tested them — they’ll exit a human body (high center torso hit) before the fuse activates, and people are beefier than coyotes.

JRS
Guest
JRS

“These last 5or6 years we’ve also been launching spotter rounds at coyotes from a Barrett …”

So, you do take after the old sociopath.

Sad that you’re also so retarded in your development that you sound like …

http://nerdismcomics.com/4website_Editorial_JackBauer.html

… which is a shame, because no one will take you seriously. Which is dangerous. And the only why you actually might be a threat to the unwitting or unprepared.

H&K is A-OK
Guest
H&K is A-OK

Sorry but that so-called satirical letter sounds more like cry-baby talk like bashing the guy driving the Ferrari for having the gall to flash his bling. Bashing H&K is one thing but bashing those of us who choose them over other brands and get a pride of ownership of them is nothing but sour grapes. If you don’t like them, don’t buy them but no need to advertise trash talk about them and implying those of us that have them should feel bad about them. I like H&K, I can afford it, so I buy it. The unfortunate thing about… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

You really ought to go back and try sme reading comprehension. First, read the original post from three years ago. The guy who wrote it was at that time, a machinegun dealer, and had more than one fully-automatic, transferrable, HK on hand, and he happily sold HKs (generally the semiautos I presume — not many people happen to have $17,500 for an MP5 sear gun or $20,000 for an MP5 with a “real” swing down grip, versus $7000 for an Uzi, $8,000 for a Mini-Uzi, Micro-Uzi, or Sterling) to any qualified buyer who wished to pay for them. Expensive? Um,… Read more »

Tam
Guest

Sorry but that so-called satirical letter sounds more like cry-baby talk like bashing the guy driving the Ferrari for having the gall to flash his bling.

Boy, Larry, this post is like a bug zapper for retards…

Cameron Benz
Guest

Oh dear christ am I late finding this. About laughed myself silly. And actually started to howl with laughter when someone pointed out the scat site numbers for Germany. At any rate, Larry, you haven’t said anything I haven’t already thought based on my personal USP ownership experiences (USP45 and USP40C) as well as my experience running an indoor firing range. I’ve been known to joke that the motto should be “We’re H&K and we don’t care, ’cause we don’t have to.” I ditched the 40 in favor of a Kimber that was sheer joy to shoot and never failed… Read more »

Mad Duo
Guest

Cannot believe we haven’t seen this before. One of our friends pointed it out. A gun is a tool. You don’t buy a tool for a name or a look, you buy it cuz it’s reliable and it works. Larry, you may be the funniest pontificating smart-ass out there (after us, of course).

Love ya.

Frank Venuto
Guest
Frank Venuto

Enjoyed the thread and learned a lot reading it. Thanks to Larry Im not sorry I passed on the HK45 I was thinking about and got an American made Wilson combat Stealth instead…..

Seeing this is still January I’ll wish all a wonderful 2011.

Ryan
Guest
Ryan

Hey I just wanted to say I enjoyed your post I actually saved it. I own a Usp .40 and I’ve always liked HK but I do agree the ergonomics on there rifles are horrible and as much as I love my usp it’s too damn big to cc. Also I have called them a few times regarding the 416 and a 357 sig barrel for my .40 and there usually a bunch of dicks. I wanted to ask you since you seem to know your stuff. I can’t decide on which rifle to buy my to choices at the… Read more »

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[…] best choice for me at the time. H&K's – extremely reliable and quality reputation. I love HKs (even though I suck and H&K hates me ). I have owned a USP 9mm for several years. The USP is big and blocky, but it strangely fits my […]

leo45
Guest
leo45

OK. H&K pistols are somewhat overpriced… I agree. But not that much. First of all, I’m not one of those H&K maniacs/fanboys/whatever. I do own ONE H&K pistol (among several other pistols & wheelguns) and for me it’s hard to understand what is SO bad about H&K pistols. So, they placed few rounds backwards into a magazine in a commercial photo. That was embarrassing for H&K, I totally agree. But does that make their pistols any worse? I’m pretty sure that who ever placed those rounds in that magazine, was not part of H&K’s weapon engineering department…. Like I said,… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

LEO45, You missed the whole point. HK firearms are simply not good enough in performance or value to justify their horrid attitudes towards paying customers, nor the rabid justification of their fans. It’s bad enough when I see the ubiquitous, “You’re just jealous, because you’re not a Real Operator, and you can’t afford the Vorpal Firearms of Destruction HK sells.” I’m waiting for the tearful YouTube video, “Just leave Heckler und koch alone!!!” by some fat loser in $100 of crap nylon gear (previously black, now Coyote Brown) and a wall festooned with airsoft replicas. HK firearms are about teh… Read more »

hahaok
Guest
hahaok

Haha ok ok, so you are telling me that you think HK pistols are no better than rugers? Have you ever shot or even held an HK pistol? Has your ruger ever been frozen to -44 degrees F fired flawlessly, then heated to 165 degrees F and fired flawlessly and then repeated without malfunctions? Dont think so. Everyone likes to rip on HKs customer service, but everytime I have ever contacted them, I have recieved great customer service. Maybe they just dont like dealing with people who have no knowledge about a weapon they are holding and expect a crash… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

What language are you typing in? It looks like English, but without punctuation, grammar or proper spelling. As you are clearly foreign and don’t use English as a first language, allow me to gently remind you that Mr Correia was a dealer in a variety of weapons, including Class III, and did and does compete in various matches. So he does actually have some experience to speak from. Several of us commenting in this thread are combat vets. For “Im not an HK fanboi,” you sound awfully like an HundK apologist. It seems no other gun will suit you. But… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

1. Yes, I added weight to my shotgun to reduce felt recoil. Because my wife (new to shotguns) thought the recoil was too much for fun practice. Of course, that gun is a house gun and doesn’t get humped any further than from the bedroom to the car and back again, so excessive weight is irrelevant, as long as she can hold it up for a few minutes. (Arm strength, she’s got — having a five year old who likes to be carried does that for a person; so does a hobby involving muzzleloaders nearly two meters long.) With all… Read more »

Geodkyt
Guest
Geodkyt

Forgot to mention the Ruger love. Rugers have equal triggers to most HK pistols, SIGNIFICANTLY better reliability than most HK pistols, UNBELIEVABLY better ergonomics than most HK pistols, and cost peanuts compared to ANY HK pistols. Sure they are ugly — even doofy looking. They’re also relatively heavy, compared to similar sized pistols from almost anyone else (but, as a side note, you could beat a Balrog to death with a Ruger P89 family gun after you run out of ammo, and it’ll still work once you get more ammo — beefy AND solid). However, Ruger service pistols friggin’ WORK,… Read more »

hahaok
Guest
hahaok

O O O and glock used in LE agencies thing while true, is NOT because they are all that is awesome and are supreme and most reliable ever. Its because they are cheap to manufacture and are reliable weapons and LE agenices get them for a DAMN good deal. If they could get HK for such a good deal, do you think they would pick the glock still??? uhhh nope. You say… “HK are DECENTLY reliable” really? Just decently reliable? and “same quality to that of ruger”???? haha… ok bud. Your ignorance makes me laugh. I thank you for that.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

You know, in America, we generally masturbate in private.

LepusKhan
Guest
LepusKhan

Thanks, Michael- now I need a new keyboard. 😀
Man, this really IS the post that just keeps on giving…

Dave Sohm
Guest

Interesting side note, when I was in D.C., the police there were all carrying HK’s. I guess they have the budget for it.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

As to the Mk 23 being an offensive handgun, it is. Quite offensive. In more ways than one.

John Mikolajcik
Guest
John Mikolajcik

Way late but better late than never at all. I was just wondering what thoughts were on the brief HK foray in the sporting arms world is from the author. I am specifically talking about brief runs of H&K 770’s chamber in .308 and .223 that were sold as purpose built hunting rifles that prior to 1986 could be had a great prices ( 450-500$) incorporated military designs such as fold down rear sights and top mounted quick release optics. I carry and shoot a Glock 20c daily because H&K does not make a trigger or a gun I would… Read more »

Erik Rodriguez
Guest

Great post! I own several HKs, and compared to my Glocks, I would say they were not worth the extra $600 – $1200.

You are also completely correct about the lack of aftermarket gear and the outragous pricing. It’s cool to have a few HK guns, but I don’t see what the obsession is with being an HK fanboy.

Maine E AK
Guest
Maine E AK

I’ve been to 2 S&W armorers school (mp and 3rd gen auto), glocks armorers school, and HK armorers school.

S&W and Glock schools were fun, great, and they were willing to accept that their pistols were not perfect (as none are). HK were douche pickles. Pompous asses with an overpriced shitty product.
Amen to your rant.

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[…] […]

The_Shadow
Guest
The_Shadow

Me, I know nothing! Nothing! I own a Mike LaRocca tuned AMT Hardballer.

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[…] I agree islandermyk. A funny rant: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

Bloo
Guest
Bloo

Thiis by far one of the most retarded hate mails I’ve ever read..

James Conason
Guest
James Conason

While I have never pesonally owned an HK, I have had the pleasureof being able to fire an MP5, Thompson, and a MAC-10 at a range near where I live. I have to say, aside from the difficulty at first in figuring out how cock the mac, the Thompson was still my favorite. Military model, stick magazines, had no trouble being accurate with it at the 20 yard range on the first attempt to fire. The mac, as expected, went through the rounds quickly, but was not as accurate. The MP5 was disappointment though. Appeared to be a very early… Read more »

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[…] […]

Cheryl Clark (@KylaGWolf)
Guest

I have to giggle at HK…I have a USP Compact 9mm. That thing has NASTY muzzle flip issues. And I am not the only one that has said that anyone that has shot my gun has said it including instructors. It also had a major issue with malfunctions. Although that seems to have worked itself out now after about 2000 rounds of ammo going through it. But I will say this I will most likely get another gun for home defense since I am not sure I want to trust it if SHTF.

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[…] […]

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[…] […]

Otto
Guest
Otto

Ahem! Now…… Glocks are AUSTRIAN. Their trgger system dates back to 1907 (The Roth-Steyr M7) when the Imperial Austrian Army demanded an autopistol WITHOUT a safety. (War isn’t accident prevention week) There is NOTHING teutonic about a gun without external safeties and a minimum of parts. Originally most of their guns had an abundance of safeties, decockers and other stuff nobody needs. But: There is actually a H&K gun that I like. The P 7. Still, while I carry a G 19 during work, I prefer a 4″ .357 for off-duty use. (I guess most people here will not know… Read more »

Not Chuck
Guest
Not Chuck

Too funny, but true!! I have only owned one H&K product, a USP Compact in .40 S&W that I won at a match. After trying to deal with the H&K “Customer Service Department”, I sold it and bought a Glock 23 instead. I was only trying to purchase a DAO/LEM trigger for the USP but it did not seem like they were interested in selling me one. I have about 6,000-rounds through my Glock 23. I personally know of a Tactical team who dumped their G36s, MP5s and UMPs because of the crappy service they received from H&K. They now… Read more »

prairieboya6
Guest
prairieboya6

You think it’s bad down state side, try being in Canada. Once upon a time a young shooter had a new USP in 9mm. When he got to 4000 rounds or so the unthinkable happened. The trigger bar cracked. It didn’t snap clean but it was enough that it didn’t reliably engage the sear anymore. No problem, call HK USA for a part, right? NOPE: HK USA is not registered to export under current US law because their parent company, HK GMBH has literally expressly forbidden HK USA from direct foreign sales and therefore HK USA cannot export ANYTHING. Not… Read more »

Pops55650
Guest
Pops55650

I recently paid $3000 for a nib HK 91, but I am not going to let it go to my head, nein! Lots of very nice .308s that cost less, shoot better, nicer triggers. I hope this new generation of HK staff freaks out because I bought a rifle they made. Maybe they fear sellng the 416 to civilians because we are free to speak up a constructively critique the rifle. I also own a SP89 and a VP70z, which while innovative, had a horrible trigger. The only thing I can say is that Century and Hesse can make shootable… Read more »

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[…] […]

MikeNice
Guest
MikeNice

I handled the HK P2000sk when I was looking at buying my first CCH semi-auto pistol. It felt a lot like a Springfield XD. Only the grip was horrible and the trigger was (at best) equal to my Taurus 85b3. I still haven’t figured out why the decock button is on the rear of the frame. Why is it a button? For half of the price you can get a Springfield XD 4″ or Sub Compact with the essentials pack. You get a very similar grip, similar top heavy feel, and a better trigger. Then again you could also get… Read more »

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[…] It’s like the perfect storm of internet gun fodder: guns, Mexico, because you suck and we hate you. […]

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[…] 10, 2011 in Rants with 0 Comments This rant was hilarious. Sure, they’re decently reliable, decently accurate guns, but they’re massively […]

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[…] Originally Posted by philip26p I find it hard to believe that H&K would bribe for contracts, not saying that it could not happen but I think that they probably have more than enough contracts to have to worry about bribing someone. I don't find it hard to believe at all, esspecially when dealing with Mexico, that;s how business gets done down there.. And I give you this link, it's meant in good fun, enjoy. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

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[…] […]

Dave
Guest
Dave

If you think HKs suck then don’t buy them. simple. If you think something else is better then shut up and buy it. simple.

MelvWolfe
Guest
MelvWolfe

Ah, the G36. Its a very nice weapon in my opinion and very accurate once its sights are calibrated…and you actually know how to shoot.

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

Well, it should be, with its internals very much like those Eugene Stoner designed for the AR18. 😉

Let’s be honest: The G3 is merely an overpriced knockoff of the Spanish CETME.

cthulhu
Guest
cthulhu

CETME triggers are hit and miss. When they are a hit, they are way better than G-3 triggers.

Tam
Guest

Its a very nice weapon in my opinion and very accurate once its sights are calibrated…and you actually know how to shoot.

…and you don’t mind broke-dick charging handles.

(Seriously, is there some kind of law in Germany that makes usable charging handles a felony or something?)

Rick Randall
Guest

Now I like a port side charging handle, and the idea that I can reach it with my right hand if I’m shooting lefty is nice. I like the way the charging handle works as an administrative BHO on the CETME clones HK sold. But, yeah, is it UNpossible to move the chargng handle to wear non-orangutans can reach it without reaching WAAAAAY out by the muzzle? You know, like the MP44, the FAL, Stoner (and it’s grandnephew, Robarm XCR), BAR, etc. — or are they just too advanced for the HK clone of a CETME refinement of a 1945… Read more »

musashi
Guest
musashi

Maybe its a safety feature. Its hard to have an ND if you cant buy the gun and the charging handles are rubbish.

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[…] some choose to be uncritical, brown-nosed fanboys. And since 2007, science fiction author Larry Correia's precision-guided satire of H&K and it's fanboys' attitudes has been driving the fanboys wild. Over four years later, […]

GPWASR10
Guest
GPWASR10

I owned a PTR-91 for about 6 mos. It was a well made gun… but it ruined my brass, had a crap safety, was very nose heavy, kinda a pain in the ass to field strip (if you accedently pushed the bolt down onto the carrier, it was a PITA to unfuck it) and while accurate it wasn’y any better then my MAS 49/56. Personally, I wouldn’t own another one if it came with a bull that pissed Jack Daniels.

John Pechota
Guest
John Pechota

Larry,

What did you think about the Ken Hackathorn-Larry Vickers interview with Todd Green in regards to the HK45? In case you or some of your readers haven’t seen it yet, it can be found at this link:

http://pistol-training.com/articles/hk45-interview-with-ken-hackathorn-and-larry-vickers

-John

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[…] Because you suck. And we hate you. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you __________________ War Eagle! '10 National […]

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[…] Originally Posted by TheTinMan The whole thing was hilarious, even it were about designing a new toaster oven, but the best part was "we're having a problem with testing. We can't get through 500 rounds without a malfunction, so we're going to call it a break in period. We got the idea from Kimber." I'll grant you that Heckler & Koch clearly thinks that civilian customers suck, but I don't think that they care enough about us to hate us. They do make some damn good firearms though. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

Barry Soetoro
Guest
Barry Soetoro

Lot of folks with their H&K phD’s (playa hater degrees). Monster Hunters? Doubtful. Green eyed monster strokers definitely.

Hesperus.
Guest
Hesperus.

Just want to be a part of Internet and HK hating history and share an odd little story. Back when I lived in Idaho reds trading post had a HK days event with a HK factory rep. I went down there intending to pick his brain on some rumored products they probably won’t come out with. Well i’ll be damned if he got much more info out of me than I got out of him. He had never heard of SL8 to G-36 conversions, or that the mark 23 pistol featured prominently in a movie I had recently seen. The… Read more »

SomebodyUnimportant
Guest
SomebodyUnimportant

Got the sneer and don’t get on with the H und K fanboy gunshop owner local to me that does a lot of NFA because I pointed out to people in his store one day that they’d better spend their money buying a Dan Wesson/CZ .45 as far as out of the box or an STI or a Virgil Tripp STI custom build, he still does those now and again, or have (insert number of good smiths here and in bordering states) build them what they want. Kimbers are a lot better than they used to be too, and I… Read more »

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[…] you didn't make the connection he did: HK. Because you suck. And we hate you http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ One of my all time […]

Billy
Guest
Billy

The US Army sent me to Norway on an exchange for blah blah no one cares. Long story short, I indeed HAVE shot the HK 416. Let me give you guys the run down. It shoots exactly the same as any M16 the army has gifted me and told me to go blast rounds out of. The only differences is that the piston keeps the internal workings cleaner (cool story, I have a cleaning kit for that) and the bolt stays cool (great, but your barrel is STILL going to melt) What Larry is saying about the HK 416 rings… Read more »

hahaha
Guest
hahaha

Thought this thread would have faded quietly after Osama Bin Laden was popped by a team of legitimate pros all carrying H&Ks – but oh yeah, it was about customer service. Well that customer was served.

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

Because you know for a fact what weapons the legitimate pros were carrying on a classified mission.

And they couldn’t have been nearly as effective with any lesser weapon. Only an HundK could have fired a bullet in that compound.

Minimum Wage Historian
Guest

Where’s you get your information? I’d really like to know. Are you also suggesting that only “pros” carry HK? Because I can site a lot of instances where “Pros” (or did you mean “Bros?” ) have used non HK products. I know that’s an alien idea, but its true.

hahaha
Guest
hahaha

The german press reported it as an MP7 in the first weeks after the action before quickly retracting with no explanation, and SOCOM chatter for a year now has said it was an HK416. DevGru favors both and it was their mission. Mark bissonnette’s a jackass for publishing details and tactics of that operation, but he mentions a sig handgun and three suppressed Heckler and Kochs: HK45, MP7, and a 10.5 inch HK416 – and that two suppressed shots to the head dropped him. Now for the wildly extrapolating couple of chumps: yeah they could have done it with a… Read more »

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

So, if I buy an HK 416, I will be as cool as the SEALs?

Hahaha
Guest
Hahaha

No.

musashi
Guest
musashi

Oh, a German newspaper told you once…and then redacted it. Color me impressed. That is obvious proof its the greatest gun in the world.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

The hilarious thing is there are a lot of actual “operators” in this thread. I’m sure they’re excited to have you here to tell them their job.

You of course failed to notice that you, and every other fanboi here, are doing exactly what Larry said fanbois do.

Okay, that’s two hilarious things.

So, how many awesome takedowns have you performed with an HundK, or even a .38 Smith?

Thought so.

Kenneth Sohl
Guest
Kenneth Sohl

How do you know what he did or didn’t do, and who the fuck are you?

Douglas Campbell
Guest
Douglas Campbell

I owned an HK 91 for a short time. I took it to the range twice then sold it and almost doubled my money. I turned around and bought an FN-FAL. Best thing I’ve ever done.

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[…] I thought it was funny that they tried to blame it on Heckler and Koch. Then H&K came back and basically said that guy is a liar. Anyways, I read this a while back and laughed my *** off. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

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[…] […]

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[…] http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2007/10/09/hk-because-you-suck-and-we-hate-you/ GA_googleFillSlotWithSize("ca-pub-3927874040083090", "AirsoftSociety_336x280_BTF", 336, 280); __________________ Selling Multiple Ver.2 and 3 internals and Guns. Great prices. http://www.airsoftsociety.com/classifieds/wts-multiple-items-1852.html Quote: […]

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[…] […]

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[…] […]

nicholas
Guest
nicholas

Awesome article. I have an h&k pistol and I dig it. The article has illuminated how truly elitist and cliquey. A few years ago, I went to the shop I spend my gunmoney at, with intentions of buying a compact or subcompact holdout weapon. I got a crazy deal on it(by h&k prices). I love it. It is reliable, and accurate. I haven’t worked with ever so many different makes and models. It’s the best handgun I’ve ever owned. I’m wondering if that’s pathetic now. I didn’t know that there were people who were all militant about calling the manufacturer… Read more »

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[…] HK. Because you suck. And we hate you http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

Tatum
Guest
Tatum

That’s okay. I hate everyone who hates H&K like this Larry the loser! Hahaha. And if YOU hate H&K I hate you too because you’re probably some loser who likes Glock just because you’re a mindless ‘tard who hopelessly follows trends to feel like you belong! Nana-nana-nana! :-p

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

This is the part where you should google whom you’re speaking of, before you look like a total retard (again). kisses.;)

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

” a mindless ‘tard who hopelessly follows trends to feel like you belong!”

So, HundK owners?

Chris
Guest

So you hate people who follow trends but you are a HundK fanboi? I think someone needs to tell the short bus driver to turn around, he left one of the helmet wearing kids behind again…

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

I’m speaking of Tatum, Chris.

Chris
Guest

I know Mike, I should have directed that better. It was in refrence to Tatum.

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[…] On the other hand, many people have been begging Glock for a thin, single-stack pistol.  Is Glock becoming the new HK? […]

Clay Martin
Guest

This guy might be correct about firearms but he obviously knows nothing of cars. Ferraris are hand built and worth every penny of their price tag. And I have driven one so I can say that. I highly doubt this jackass has ever driven a car worth more than his most expensive gun. Furthermore he promotes his shitty book at the end of his childish rant. Nice one.

Michael Z. Williamson
Guest

How does his shitty book compare to yours? And which one of his dozen bestsellers is his shitty one?

BTW, do Ferraris break down less often than say, Corvettes or Vipers? I’m asking because I don’t know. A certain amount of price is relevant to quality, but there are diminishing returns.

Patrick Mathews
Guest

More often the Vauxhals, which is saying something. 🙂

AK
Guest
AK

“And I have driven one so I can say that.”
So your a parking valet? Which is why I never let your kind even touch my ride.

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[…] 45mm), then the AR platform is superior in virtually every respect. As to whether or not HK really thinks you suck and hates you, I’ll leave that up to you.   […]

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[…] I'm not alone on this one. Their attitude towards it's customers. m14brian http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/20…d-we-hate-you/ […]

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[…] […]

english bulldog puppies
Guest

Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Porter Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep up the great work!

ARofcourse
Guest
ARofcourse

I tend to see the HK fan boys as the liberals of the gun world, they scream and shout about how great something (usually the 416) is, but when asked why, they cant give you a real answer, and resort to insults.

woodybrighton
Guest

HK make a living selling weapons to armys and police forces the american civillian market is a strange beast they niether understand or really care for half a dozen civillian hk416 are not going to keep them in rhein gld for very long.

Rick Randall
Guest

A “half a dozen civilian HK416”?

Yeah, if HK really thought that was the extent of the market, I could understand their reluctance. Kind of surprising if they did, considering how many thousand HK91, HK94, etc. they sold before the first import ban. . .

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[…] you suck". You can Google that and there is a big article about it. (or I could link it) HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. | Monster Hunter Nation Reply With […]

Martin woodhead
Guest

You hate HK fanboys imagine how much the germans hate weird yankees who have an unhealthy obession with their products? The mark 23 did exactly what SOCOM wanted in a weapon unfortunatly like a lot of procument ideas it was a stupid set of proposals you want a match grade pistol that can shoot thousands of rounds accuratly out to 50 metres its going to be big and bulky. HK never really got over the shock of the SAS getting somebody to chop up a load of g3s to create the G7 shorty an intresting weapon to say the least.… Read more »

Christopher Leete
Guest

My H&K experience was with a 770 sporting rifle. Had a claw mount that was mounted on the receiver cover that was held on with a screw. Naturally, it printed more like a shotgun with the scope, so I always used the open iron sights. It used the same bolt and carrier as the G3,with a weird cocking handle linkage that had several small parts. It was a fast, naturally pointing rifle. I picked it up in ’91 for 350 bucks and sold it to a “H&K fanboy” for 1300 a couple years ago. I don’t miss that rifle at… Read more »

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[…] dated back to 2007, when a poster on The High Road posted the classic, and admittedly funny “message from the H&K marketing director“. The message goes on to say how H&K refuses to sell to civilians, despises civilian […]

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[…] HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. | Monster Hunter Nation Reply With […]

Engi
Guest
Engi

The difference between German Engineering and US Engineering is simple: A friend of mine, working at BMW in Munich, was invited in US by Ford, for 6 months. In the first day, he saw the Ford workers building the car and asked: wait…they are simply putting the sheets of steel, just like that? without any electrolitic treatment agaisnt rust? wihout anything? His American host looked surprised: buddy, this is STAINLESS steel already! of course we don’t need to do anything (how stupid this German can be? he can’t even understand the word “stainless”). My friend didn’t argued any further, but… Read more »

michaelzwilliamson
Guest

No, American car companies went bankrupt because union whores refused to modernize, be competitive, demanded pay for life including lavish pensions, that ate up all potential profit. Interestingly my last three American cars have all lasted over 300K miles, one to 470K. This includes the parts of them that were built in Canada or Japan. (Not China,) And didn’t some German company own Chrysler for a few years? Did they make all these alleged improvements to the cars in that timeframe? Also, which Ford was made of stainless body panels? After all these years, it’s still hilarious to watch you… Read more »

Engi
Guest