Warning, there will be bad language. Because you simply can’t talk about people this willfully ignorant without using the f word.

One of the cool things about whenever I post a Hate Mail post, within a day or so I get to post a Hate Mail Response to the Hate Mail Post. Fisking one moron inevitably attracts more morons, in a sort of perpetual moron cycle. (I am secretly hoping to someday learn to harness the friction energy created by liberal handwringing, which I will then sell for billions because I am a capitalist, which will cause even more liberal handwringing friction, as they demand the profits from my liberal handwringing machine to pay off their student loans).

http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/hate-mail-time-2/

After clubbing Hanna like a baby seal, Borgese felt the need to send me this piece of illogical tripe. Our special guest nematode is in italics. My response is in bold.

Larry, I hate to say this, but you’re an idiot.

Yes. I am sure you simply *hate* to call people who dare to disagree from the accepted groupthink names.

I mean, seriously, calling the Nazis socialist is just dumb.

He means it. Seriously. Because calling the socialist German political party that proudly proclaimed that they were socialists, and named themselves the National Socialists, socialists is simply absurd!  

There’s just so much evidence to the contrary it makes me think you’re actually not talking about history, just about what you’d like history to be.

You will be happy to note that Borges didn’t bother to post all of this prolific evidence to the contrary.

In fact, in the comments section of the last Hate Mail post several of my readers went through a bunch of facts about how the Nazis were socialists, just like they said that they were. The response by Hanna was to link to Wikipedia where somebody said they were like totally not. Because if you read it some place on the internet then it totally must be true. Especially Wikipedia, which as everyone knows is never biased or wrong.

This Nazis are right wing is something that needs to get put to bed once and for all.

Okay, so let’s look at this Hanna cited Wiki article. It says that “a majority of scholars identify Nazism as being a far right form of politics” (Not that modern leftist academics would try to sweep the idea that their fellow travelers were embarrassing horrific murder machines under the rug or anything biased like that). Okay. So the academics agree!

So let’s take a look at some more things from this very same article.

The radical Nazi Joseph Goebbels hated capitalism, viewing it as having Jews at its core and stressed the need for the party to emphasize both a proletarian and national character, these views were shared by Otto Strasser who later left the Nazi Party in the belief that Hitler had betrayed the party’s socialist goals by allegedly endorsing capitalism.^[31] Large segments of the Party staunchly supported its official socialist, revolutionary, and anti-capitalist positions and expected both a social and economic revolution upon the Party gaining power in Germany in 1933.^[33] Of the million members of the SA, many were committed to the Party’s official socialist program.^[33] The leader of the Party’s paramilitary organization the SA, Ernst Röhm, supported a “second revolution” (the “first revolution” being the Nazis’ seizure of power) that would entrench the Party’s official socialist program and demanded the replacement of the nonpolitical German army with a Nazi-led army.^[33]

Well. Huh.  Ain’t that something?

But it says right there that Hitler changed his mind and decided to keep capitalism around! (surely that had nothing to do with the fact that socialism is a stupid economic failure and you can’t really build a super war machine with a broke ass economic system). I do believe I said repeatedly in that last post about how useful idiot idealist movements like OWS are always historically coopted by jerkoffs looking for more power.

Prior to becoming an anti-Semite and a Nazi, Adolf Hitler had previously served the Bavarian Soviet Republic from 1918 to 1919 where Hitler was elected Deputy Battalion Representative of his communist-led battalion and attended the funeral of communist Kurt Eisner – who was a German Jew – where Hitler wore a black mourning armband on one arm and a red communist armband on his other arm.^[34

Wait a second… The National Socialists aren’t supposed to be on the left! Liberal academics said so!

As a Nazi, Hitler both in public and in private, opposed capitalism, Hitler regarded capitalism as having Jewish origins and accused capitalism of holding nations ransom in the interests of a parasitic cosmopolitan rentier class.^[36]

Holy crap. That reads like an OWS manifesto. It’s like my hate mailers can’t even bother to check the links that they stick on here to show how smart they are!

However Hitler tactically took a pragmatic in-between position between the conservative and radical factions, in that he accepted private property and allowed capitalist private enterprises to exist as long as they obeyed the goals of the Nazi state but if a capitalist private enterprise resisted Nazi goals, he sought to destroy it.^[31]

Let’s see, a socialist leader that punishes business that goes against his wishes and rewards those that do his bidding. Hmmm… Sound familiar? Want to drill for oil? Go screw yourself. Oh? Solyndra? Here’s another half a billion dollars. How much did GE pay in taxes recently?

Hanna said something to the effect that the socialist part of National Socialists was just a name, and it didn’t have anything to do with what they actually did. She went so far as to use the Democratic People’s Republic, i.e. North Korea as an example that a name doesn’t always fit the reality… However that is one dumbass argument when you realize that she’s talking about a communist dictatorship of a country where the people have no say, as opposed to the name of a political party, that was ELECTED.  So they named themselves socialist, ran as socialists, campaigned as socialists, in the birthplace of the philosophy of socialism, where the highly educated populace was familiar with socialism, won as socialists, and then implemented socialist policies. But they were sooooo not socialist.

Hookay then.

But let’s just say that socialist is just a label. And you know how much modern liberals hate labels! So instead of the hateful label of socialist, let’s take a look at what their platform says! They ran on 25 concise points. Once again, let’s go to the source of all absolute correct knowledge in the world! WIKIPEDIA!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Socialist_Program

Let’s see… Aryan race blah blah blah. Bunch of racist nonsense… Not that we could ever possibly correlate racism with the left, except for the Black Panthers, the KKK, and the American Nazis all pitching in with OWS. Ah here we go. Let’s see how totally not socialist the National Socialists are. Because as I was told, there is soooooooo much evidence.

We demand that the state be charged first with providing the opportunity for a livelihood and way of life for the citizens.

So the state owes everybody a living… Never seen that on an OWS sign before.

The first obligation of every citizen must be to work both spiritually and physically. The activity of individuals is not to counteract the interests of the universality, but must have its result within the framework of the whole for the benefit of all.

Collectivism?  

Breaking of debt (interest)-slavery.

Pay my student loans! I bought a house I can’t afford! Bail me out!

In consideration of the monstrous sacrifice in property and blood that each war demands of the people, personal enrichment through a war must be designated as a crime against the people. Therefore we demand the total confiscation of all war profits.

Evil military industrial complex. Take their stuff! BOOOOO!

We demand the nationalisation of all (previous) associated industries (trusts).

Nationalizing private assets? That sure sounds like capitalism to me.

We demand a division of profits of all heavy industries.

It isn’t fair that some percentage of something controls some other percentage of something! We are the 99%. Take their stuff! Woot!

We demand an expansion on a large scale of old age welfare.

At age 68 Julia can retire and live without worry because Barack Obama like totally saved social security.

The state is to be responsible for a fundamental reconstruction of our whole national education program, to enable every capable and industrious German to obtain higher education and subsequently introduction into leading positions.

Free education. Sound familiar?

The State is to care for the elevating national health by protecting the mother and child, by outlawing child-labor, by the encouragement of physical fitness, by means of the legal establishment of a gymnastic and sport obligation, by the utmost support of all organizations concerned with the physical instruction of the young.

Michelle Obama thinks it is her business you are fat and we need a national health program. And they just tried to ban kids working on family farms.

All of those things sound eerily similar to things that my Hate Mailers post as being ideals.

To be fair, the Nazis had plenty of other points too, including a lot of crazy eugenic racist garbage. I’m sure the academics will cite that as the right wing part, ignoring that the eugenics movement was universally loved by left wing politicians around the world during the early part of the century. All of the pro-big government, total control types thought eugenics was awesome.

The eugenics movement was one of the most hideously evil things to ever exist. The communist/socialists/progressives ate it up. It gave them the “scientific” excuse they needed to implement controls on their populations. It was the global warming of the 1930s. But I digress.

So in conclusion the National Socialists totally weren’t socialists because modern socialist academics said they aren’t, even though their party platform and policies were distinctly socialist. Does that much cognitive dissonance hurt?

Wait, but I forgot about Borgs! Let’s get back to our latest Hate Mail.

The fact is, a tiny number of people control a huge amount of american resources. Poverty kills more people, even in america, than any other cause.

No, actually according to the CDC, heart disease in the number one killer, followed by cancer, chronic lower respiratory disease, stroke, and accidents.  But don’t let reality hold you back.

The statistical violence in this situation is obviously about wealth distribution.

Wha huh pseudo academic made up sentence of what?

Politic how you like, but it’s a brute fact that 1.) Wealth is incredibly unequally distributed in America, leading to a rich nation with many poor citizens.

And so what? Some people have more stuff than you do, big freaking deal. Capitalism is such a horrible system that our poor people live better than the rich in most of the rest of the world.

2) Through many vectors, poverty causes death and distress to all involved.

Not really. The quality of living in America has gone up continuously. Most of the impoverished in America live in houses, have running water, heat, refrigeration, and their greatest health problem is that they can eat too much food and get fat. (a health issue almost unheard of in all of human history)

And even then if you consider yourself poor, because we live in America, there is no reason that you can’t improve your situation. There are plenty of people on here who have been poor who now are considered rich. I’ve been poor, then middle class, then back to poor, and now Barack Obama says I’m rich. We don’t have a caste system. Nearly everyone can improve their situation through effort.

But that’s soooo hard…

Also I assume when you say “100,000,000”, you’re referring to Stalin’s regime, right?

Nope. I was talking about left wing assholes in general, but I’ll break it down for you in a minute because you’re too stupid and apathetic to punch it into Google yourself.

That’s usually how that figure is bandied around. It’s actually larger than the entire population of Russia was at the time, so it’s got an amusing dimension to it. Obviously, Stalin was not only killing all his own people including himself, but also some invented ones too.

Actually the population of the Soviet Union was about actually 191 million in 1940. And actually you’ve already demonstrated no actual ability to look things up. And actually you are one dumb son of a bitch… Actually.

You know, it’s one thing to attribute every death that happened in the USSR over a given period to communists (that’s usually how you get these insane figures), but to add people to the population pool?

The problem with political movements based upon making people into assets of the states to be managed, is that sometimes you need to manage them to death. Marxist philosophy inevitably ends up with purges, camps, terror, mass killings, and genocide. Sure, there are some socialist places where it hasn’t happened… Yet.

But you are right about one thing. Sadly, these figures are insane. The insane part is that fools like you don’t know them, yet you are eager to turn your freedom over to the exact same types.

And since you guys love you some Wikipedia, let’s look at just those murdered, purposefully starved, or shipped off to camps to die of exposure: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_killings_under_Communist_regimes

The Soviets take the cake, right off the bat having official records of executing over 800,000, with about 3 million dead after being sent to gulags and forced relocation. Deaths from purposeful famine are harder to track, with Stalin’s apologists saying that it was ONLY around 6 million with some estimates being way higher. However you lib bastards love you some Ivy League academics, and Yale puts that around 20 million.

However there aren’t good records for right around when the Bolsheviks murdered their way into power around 1917, but we’re talking small time there. The reds only executed something like 12,000 Cossacks. They called it decossackization.

The Great Purge had about 700K get bullets in the back of head. The numbers are fuzzy on how many died during torture or in NKVD custody. Stalin, being an overachiever, also executed around 100,000 priests and nuns. One time he took a vacation into Mongolia to kill another 30K Mongolians. This is all before the biggest war in history where Stalin really got his murder on. He let 150,000 Poles die in captivity.

Oh, but wait. There’s more. We can’t forget China! Now things get a little fuzzy here, because Mao really didn’t have time to slow down and record every single dead peasant. Officially, he was prepared to kill 50 MILLION people to institute his “reforms” but that was just boasting. The actual number was only a couple of million… Hey, sometimes you’ve got to break a few eggs.

But then Mao decided to get down to business and had the Great Leap Forward. Since you are all about having a government strong enough to maintain the redistribution of wealth, Mao decided to redistribute all of the food from the people he didn’t like to the people he did. Some people didn’t like this, so he executed two and a half million of them. 40 million dead later, China was on the road to the future, so Mao chilled out and only killed another couple million people who dared disagree after that.

Those are the big two, but some of the little guys punched above their weight class. Cambodia killed and starved a third of their population. There were mass killings by communists in Vietnam, North Korea, Romania, Bulgaria, and East Germany, but those guys were just icing on a murder sundae.

But of course this sort of thing is just symptomatic of any state that is powerful enough to own its own people. If they own you, they can do what they want with you. If they provide you with food, housing, and healthcare, they can also take those things from you if they feel like. And you stupid fuckers keep on begging for them to do it.

Still, if you consider the distribution of wealth, and the consequences of poverty, capitalist nations outstrip any regime in terms of statistical suffering.

Really? Fascinating. Who? You lying quisling sack of shit.

Worldwide today, 9.7 milion children die every year. So, if we extrapolate that back, we can say that capitalism has killed more *children* in the last ten years than Stalin could have killed if he’d set out to murder every person in Russia.

So when I said that communists have murdered 100,000,000 people in the last century by starving, executing, or freezing them to death in gulags, that doesn’t actually count, but when an African kid dies of malaria because angsty urban American liberals got DDT banned to protect bird’s eggs, that’s the fault of capitalism… Gotcha.

I know you believe it might economically go badly if you started doling out some of the money of the top 1%.

I’ve stated my philosophy clearly. Any government big enough to take everything away, will eventually take everything away. Your philosophy is screw them, I’m a greedy little lazy idiot, motivated by shame, so gimmie free stuff.

But to be honest, I think it would be hard to do worse than nearly ten million kids dying of easily preventable causes every year.

Would you like to compare the infant and child mortality rates of capitalist countries vs. socialist/communist/Marxist countries?

Let me get this right… If we forcibly confiscate the assets of the wealthy, and build the statist machine necessary to do it, that all powerful state won’t turn totally evil like all of the other ones before it, and they’ll take those rich guys money to give to a bunch of lazy OWS douchebags to pay off their student loans, so automatically 10 million children in 3^rd world hellholes run by statist thugs, who are currently backed by the lefty socialists in the UN, will suddenly be cured by magic unicorns…

Borgie, even if OWS got every single thing on their wish list, and every single rich dude in America got shaken down tomorrow, and the government confiscated all of their assets, and before the economy imploded (because all of our rich guys said why bother?), it still wouldn’t do dick to help dying children in 3^rd world hellholes.

Because you apathetic little parasites would just gobble up the 1 percent’s stuff with your free houses, and your free education, and your free internet access, and your free health care, and your free bullshit… Briefly, but then the money would be gone, and you’d still be an apathetic little parasite. But now since you’ve installed a government amoral and powerful enough to truly not give a shit, this time when you take to the streets they will just kill your ass.

You bitch about America at the protests, where our police handle you with kid gloves. You pose like little anarchist douchebags in your Guy Fawkes masks (my GOD! These people are ignorant of history!) throw bricks at the cops and destroy other people’s property, and then scream and cry about your civil rights being violated, all while demanding to be more like other countries that would just machinegun you in the streets and be done with it.

 

 

My wife told me about this article from Yahoo news.  It is about how a family is saving money in these tough times.  http://finance.yahoo.com/news/First-Person-How-We-Planning-ac-2944943859.html?x=0  Sure, I’ve got lots of things I need to catch up with on the blog, but this was just too awesomely stupid not to fisk.  Judging from the over 6,000 comments about how ridiculous this is, I’d say I’m not alone.  As usual, they are in italics, I am in bold.

In these difficult times it is always useful to learn how other people have tightened their belts. Let’s see what wisdom Yahoo: News For Imbeciles has to share.

How do you explain to your kid that he can’t have a summer vacation because of inflation?

Easy. You just explain it to them as you would with any complex subject. As a good parent you owe it to your children to teach them about fiscal responsibility. Only a total loser parent would turn their kids out into the world without understanding how to balance a budget.

Instead, my family and I looked for meaningful ways to save on our summer activities.

Yep. Loser parent.  

By doing some of the work ourselves, looking at money more rationally, and committing to stuff, not fluff, we plan to save $12,975 in summer 2011.

That’s not too shabby. That sounds like some really serious cuts! Let’s see how they pulled it off.

Summer entertaining – Garden parties, barbecues, and family reunions make summer special. To keep our menus rich while saving money, my sister and I agreed to serve ground beef instead of steak at all 10 of our family get-togethers. In this way, we plan to spend $1.50 per person on meat instead of $15, for total savings of $1,350 this summer.

Holy crap!  Who has 10 family get-togethers over the summer? My wife has 62 first cousins (no, that isn’t a typo) and they don’t come close to that. Who the hell are these people? The House of Saud? $15 in meat per person?  You invite all of your relatives over two out of every three weekends and give each of them a lobster tail?

Summer vacation – To save on airfare and rising fuel prices, we searched the Internet for a local venue that would make a good vacation site.

You used the internet? Wow! I hear they have the internet on computers now!

We chose Mount Baker, located 30 minutes from our home. We plan to pitch a tent, camp for a week, fish, hike, play guitar, and listen to audio books by the campfire. Instead of our usual $5,000 vacation allowance, we plan to spend $400, thus saving $4,600.

Wha…. Huh?  Your usual vacation allowance is FIVE GRAND per YEAR? I’ve been married for 13 years and I spent about half that on a vacation. Once. And I’m now upper middle class. You do that EVERY YEAR?

I’m suspicious that this was either written by Timothy Geitner or a Kardashian sister. It really could go either way.  

Painting the house – Every year we hire student painters to refresh the exterior paint to keep our home looking pristine and to protect the wood siding.

Seriously? You PAINT your house every year? Where do you live? Mars? Are you outside the terraformed zone?

What in the hell is wrong with you idiots? A financial article from these people is like reading an article on safe sex from Ron Jeremy.  “I only did it with 200 hookers this year, for a savings of nearly 100 hookers!”

Our neighbors, on the other hand, paint their homes every five years. To save money this summer, we’ve decided to paint the trim around the windows and doors only and to do the work ourselves. That will save us $1,500 this summer.

I hope you die in a fire.

I like to put a new roof on my house every year, not that I’ve ever done it. So this year I didn’t do it again for another savings of $20,000!

Garden landscaping -In summer, we typically hire an arborist to trim our trees, spray them against parasites, and feed the roots. We also hire landscapers to edge the lawn, mulch the yard, and plant perennials.

A real financial savings article would tell you what brand of shotgun shells trim tall branches the best… Or in really lean times the article should tell you what types of bark are edible when boiled.  

This year we plan to do the work ourselves and to borrow tools from our neighbors.

If I was your neighbor and you asked to borrow my tools, I would hit you in the face with a shovel. Then I would throw your corpse into the pig pen I built in the back yard, which would not only conceal the evidence, but would also fatten up my pigs! By slaughtering my own hogs without having to pay for feed, I’ll save nearly $1,500 on bacon!  

We also intend to mulch the flowerbeds and give up on perennials. In this way, we intend to save $625.

A proper article on financial savings and gardening would point out which species of weeds can be woven into shoes.  

Summer clothing – Every year we shop for clothes by inspiration, walking through the mall and picking out a new bathing suit, dress, T-shirt. This year, we will each get a small summer-clothing budget, which will force us to shop at outlets or secondhand stores. This step will help us save $1,400.

You know you are in trouble when one of your big tips is to buy clothes on sale. Cavemen who wear skin cut off of dead caribou with sharp rocks know that.

Summer remodeling – Because of dropping home values, this year we will not go ahead with the deck remodel we were planning. Instead, we will patch the old wood with wood putty and prime and will paint it once more to protect against water damage. In this way, we will save $3,500.

I was totally going to add a tower onto my house made out of gold bars, unicorn horn, and Faberge eggs. Instead I bought the kids a Slip & Slide. In this way, I saved a billion dollars!

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that whoever wrote this was one of the people we had to bail out from under their interest-only home loan. Thanks, Yahoo, now I have even less faith in my fellow man.

 

Many people have asked me if I’m going to Fisk last night’s State of the Union like I did last year. If you will recall, it was an epic.

http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/the-state-of-the-union/

Sadly, listening to that much nonsense in one sitting took a year off my life. I couldn’t bear to subject myself to it again. Plus I’ve got killer deadlines to write things that actually pay me money. That’s okay though, let me summarize the State of the Union for you:

We’re boned.

Okay, moving on… Oh, wait… You want more? I don’t know, it was something about how everything is going to be just swell, because even though we took government spending to the highest levels ever, it’s cool, because after we took spending to new highs, we froze it there.  Yes. That’s the answer. Because if I have an annual income of $50,000, but I spent $75,000 each year for the last few years, and now I’m in huge trouble, the answer to my financial woes is to freeze my spending at 75 K, because… Hell, I don’t know why. F*** fiscal responsibility is why.

Then there was something about everything was going to be okay because of subsidized Green Jobs. You see, Green Jobs are the answer to our woes. (so awesomely profitable that they don’t exist!) That is kind of like wishing for unicorns to save us, but hey, whatever floats your boat. If Obama had told us that the economy was going to be okay because he’d just got an awesome deal on some magic beans in order to grow a bean stalk and then he was going to pay down the debt with golden eggs, that would be more believable than Green Jobs.

Remember everyone, only government spending can stimulate the economy. Just not at Lockheed, because screw those guys. What would we ever need more than a handful of F-22s for? It isn’t like any ambitious nation is going to try to match our military capability any time soon—

That J-20 Chinese 5th generation stealth fighter there was paid for by a couple days worth of interest on the money we borrowed to subsidize the development of the Chevy Volt. Hooray for Green Jobs!

The State of the Union is just spiffy though. Gas is $100 a barrel and rising fast, but we’re not allowed to use our own resources. Ken Salazar recently ruined the economy of eastern Utah with stupid new regulations and screwing the oil workers. But I digress, because why would you want to stimulate those kinds of jobs?

At least there wasn’t any heated rhetoric. Heaven forbid. I don’t know why anybody should be upset or angry, anyway.

Enough of that depressing crap. Now back to the real writing. I’m currently working on Dark Ocean, the second book in The Grimnoir Chronicles.  I’m pumped for you guys to get to read the first one, Hard Magic. It comes out in May. I’m getting the proof pages this week, so we should have eARCs available shortly.  Seriously, it is an excellent book, and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased.

By the way, ordering info for autographed copies from Uncle Hugos is going up soon, and by popular demand, I’m going to be doing personalizations on request. Because that is how much I love you guys. (and even more, that’s how much Uncle Hugo’s loves you, because they’re going to keep track of all those as the orders come in).

I’ve got 4 books coming out in 2011. Hard Magic in May, Monster Hunter Alpha in August, Dead Six in October, and Dark Ocean in November. I’m going to LTUE, StellarCon, ConDuit, WorldCon, DragonCon, and I’m doing a 7 state road trip book signing. All in all, I’m traveling to 11 states for book stuff. (Utah, Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Minnesota, Georgia, Nevada, and North Carolina) Plus I just got back from doing an event at SHOT.  

Then I’ve still got a few books to write along with John Ringo, two more with Mike Kupari (Swords of Exodus & Project Blue), Monster Hunter Legion, Monster Hunter Nemesis, two more Grimnoir novels, and then I’ve got a couple of standalone projects, and other very big and very exciting stuff that I’m not even allowed to talk about on the internet yet. Dang, I am busy.

My family is awesome. Kids are in a good school now and not surrounded by hooligans. I live in the mountains where the air is clean. We are woken up by avalanche cannons and have yard moose. I have a custom 10mm personally blessed by the Motor City Madman coming. By day I help keep F-16s in the air and by night I get paid large sums of money to (as my Mom puts it) tell stories and make crap up. Life is good.   

The State of Union might suck, but the State of the Correia is doing just fine.

First off, thank you to all our Vets. God bless you for your service, your sacrifice, and your willingness to put righteous boot to ass for your country.

I’m off today from my day job. That’s one nice thing about being part of the evil military-industrial complex, I get all the holidays.  So I stayed up late last night watching horror movies on Netflix (nothing good) and today I’m working on Grimnoir 2.

I did get into a bit of an internet argument last night. This is for my gun nut readers. http://wethearmed.com/index.php/topic,11651.0.html  I just can’t help myself. When somebody says something dumb on the internet, it is like this other, argumentative personality manifests. Nightcrawler calls it my inner Fiskwolf. I was nice at first, but then this morning I kind of went off. 🙂

Ahh… The stuff that I get to put up with on the internets.   THREE years ago I put up a blog post about how I personally thought HK was overrated. (and remember, three years in internet time meant that dinosaurs roamed the Earth) I made it humorous and based it on my experience working with HK products.  Well, that rant kind of became a meme and went on to get a bazillion hits. You can’t really have a thread on the internet about an HK product without somebody the whole You Suck and We Hate You bit.

The funny thing is that I’ve heard from people in the industry that I trust, that HK has been trying really hard to improve their customer service and image over the last few years.  (not that they would admit to the Suck & Hate You being a motivator, but everybody in the audience knew) AWESOME. That’s great. Bravo. I hope they kick ass, make wonderful guns, sell a ton of them, and then give service with a smile.

But I still, to this day, have moronic fanbois jumping on to give me a piece of their mind. I’ve been called every name you can think of, because basically I think their favorite guns are just “meh” with a couple that rate an “okay I guess” to some of their new products that are probably good, but it doesn’t matter because you can’t own it.

I don’t normally respond to those, (unless they are unintentionally hilarious and I need to poke them). But there’s been this one jackass hanging around lately that needs a bigger response than I can give him in the comments section.  There are many like him, but he’ll serve as an example. He’s either one of the dumbest fanbois to come down the pike, or he’s a brilliant troll.

So this post is dedicated to the nature of fanbois rather than any particular company.  As usual, our special guest star is in italics. I’m in bold.  (Mike Williamson joins in, and gets regular font).

Oh, and his name is Furies. Which I read as Furries, you know, those people that dress up as animals to do kinky stuff, and that visual just make the whole experience that much weirder.  

The little town of Oberndorf on the Neckar has been making the finest firearms in the world for over 150 years – call it Mauser Werkes or Heckler Koch or what have you… The people that work there would probably call it H und K, since Mauser is an entirely different company these people know metallurgy – using alloys and temperature variance to create precision on a quantum level –

No. Really. On the QUANTUM LEVEL!  Your HK can literally travel through time and kill tangos in an alternative universe.  (I don’t think that word thinks what you think it means).

 

though, like the japanese sword-smiths, they weren’t initially sure why the greatness occurred – these days…they know.

Union labor?

The HK marketing department isn’t that big. It does not have to be. They simply organize testing of their products which sell themselves.

Some guy named Hans with a marketing degree from Stuttgart State just got fired because of you.

A separate firm creates the licensed logo “shwag” that moves so promptly on ebay – SOP for any company with govt contracts anywhere in the world

I know I can’t go anywhere without running into people wearing Haliburton logo gear.

The German mastery of creating metal characteristics is also reflected in the car industry, where they have consistently churned out stiffer chassis’ than any other country by more than ten years of product – tight handling and safe + forgiving.

Jeremy Clarkson is posting on my blog! BRILLIANT!

Just like their guns – they easily make average shooters/drivers into comparatively better than than the competition, right out of the box/off the lot –

It must be all that Quantum Leaping.

 it’s what their massive engineering R&D is dedicated to.

They stuck a 1940s era gas piston on a 1960s era rifle. BRILLIANT!

Mercedes just crash tested their 60,000th car – for what they cost and how their built it seems a shame. But it is the safest car in the world. I agree…what’s your family’s life worth? Hehhehh

Well, since my kids could probably outshoot Furry with a used Kel-Tec, I’m not too worried. As for what Furry is worth, I’d have to ask his “manager”.

Then Super Author Michael Z. Williamson had to join the fray:

Ah, a perfect little drone. I see the marketing worked on you.

Ask anyone with experience and they’ll take a PPSh or Sterling over an MP5. Since you’re so knowledgeable, tell us what differences you experienced between the three, and why you chose the MP5. You DO have actual trigger time on an MP5, yes? You’re not just citing an opinion based on marketing, are you?

Nothing wrong with Mausers, but Mosin Nagants work just as well, cheaper. Of course, neither is in military production anymore.

The FAL, the AR series and the AK series have sold millions more units to dozens more countries than H&K. In fact, Germany’s new G36 is based on the AR18. It seems they preferred that to the HundK offering. Oops.

Back to the Furry

Muahhaahhahhaaaaaa – now I know you are kidding around with this whole thing – PPsH tipped it off…unless you are a poor Albanian terrorist “operator” I’ll have you know Albanians are very proud of their phone system then your modern choice of arms definitely drops the dime on this sham flamer blog. Which is odd, because he’s responding to Mike, not me. I’m thinking Furry looks up from his stained Winnie the Pooh costume long enough to type a response. I don’t think he’s got time to check names.  

Funny though, especially when you whine about stamped steel in HK’s lineup but prefer the war rationeering, punched out of tin plates, could-make-one-yourself-in-ten-days-with-anvil-and-barstock…sten and ppsh.

For the record, I love the PPsh. It is a blast to shoot. Back when I was in the gun business we had two. One in 7.62 and one in 9mm. They were epic fun.

Which are reliable bullet hoses spraying all around your target area, then sometimes cooking off the last 20 rounds of a drum as it jumps skyward.

I’ve shot a lot of rounds through a PPsH. Furry starts to sound more ignorant the more he talks. (kind of like an Obama supporter that).  I suppose since the Russians didn’t have Germanic Quantum cooling they’d often cook off 20 rounds… in an open bolt subgun. Uh huh.

As for jumping… Naw. Those things are tanks. Good stance and you could dump an entire drum into a single target no problem.

And the soviets did beat the germans with em in ww2, not the mosin-nagants which were outshot by the mausers, but….hehhhehhh pretty funny guy…

I always kind of figured it was that whole bazillion angry Russians combined with us bombing the ever-living crap out of every factory in the country rather than the superiority of our infantry guns. But hey, whatever…

like there would be 25 companies here and around making tons of cash selling licensed copies of either of your choices. Vector (which is out of business) and Special Weapons (and all ten of its different names) has made TONS of cash… Literally. Tons.

Or an airsoft empire built mostly from clones of your guns. Yes. Because nothing shows who is superior than airsoft! Witness my perfection. Newbs.

It would be impressive if a small private ad campaign to LE and Mil only, from a company that doesn’t actually net enough cash to be bribing anybody, could somehow cause the entire world to respect, fear, and worship the polygonal end of it’s muzzle. I don’t think he read the original blog post…

But that’s what makes it funny, right? Like saying Tom Clancy’s and idiot who knows nothing? Because everybody knows the be all end all expert on all things small arms is Tom Clancy. Excuse me, I’ve got to go clean my 10mm Beretta.

 Though he has been writing some self-promoting moralizing movie script books these past ten years, Cripes! Furry is a book critic too! even Red Storm Rising had MP5s taking down Soviets back in what, the early 1980s. Aaaand that proves your point… how?

Wait. Mike and I are novelists too. So apparently whatever Ripple Creek or MHI is equipped with must be awesome. (which they are, because both of us know more about guns than Tom Clancy, which actually isn’t saying a whole lot. No offense, Tom)

Of course as far as the AR – I love my RRA but its for the fam, the HK91 is what Ive –screw you apostrophe. I don’t need you!- been shooting for 18 years and after 25k or so rounds… of far reaching, tight shooting, one shot dropping ab22 euro milsurp.. (only 2 ellipses, so he’s no friend of Nickwolf!)

Hmmm… I don’t think I’ve ever said that the HK91 was unreliable. Unergonomic, lots of dumb design features, going for scalper’s prices, but it does run about as well as a FAL.  

the only jam was in the first clip out of the brand new box. Sure, easy when you just have to sit on the porch, too lazy to ever clean the gun. Yep. I don’t really clean my guns until they start to malfunction. The thing is I’ve shot my serious ones enough to know just about how far that is. 500 rounds through my 1911 (800 if shooting lead).  When I was shooting 3gun I cleaned my Veprs once a year, whether they need it or not. Shooting is fun. Cleaning is work. But I digress.

But let’s fast forward to those that are fighting for us today and who can’t clean their guns because they are being shot at…

http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/2009/12/marine_m4_122609w/

Which reminds me of the recent DOD test that the SCAR won, followed by the HK416 and XM8, in which they all had a few jams, but the current M4 had 100′s of fail-to-fire’s. When did I suddenly become the defender of the M-4 carbine? Sigh.

Marketing? Their mascot is Delta Force? Internet fanboi’s love to throw around Delta, and it is usually because Delta just bought a limited number of whatever their favorite gun is. Hate to break it to you chumps, but those guys are rock stars. They go through piles of guns. They buy some of everything.

Side note- I’ve got an interesting story of a procurement by that particular entity that I wonder if I’m allowed to share. I know some of the guys at this particular gun company read this blog, so if I can say what they bought, please let me know. (probably not). But it sure wasn’t one of your typical euro-uber guns, (much nicer actually) and it was a mess of them.

Those guys get trailers full of gear. They’re super heroes. And you’re not. Even if you bought exactly what they were using, you’ll never be that cool.

When the Colt barrel melts in the youtube video, could that be in ze evil germans new york advertising office? Hehhehh – but you are not as funny on these other blog topics.   

If you think I dislike HK, you should hear my opinion on Colt. (overrated) I’m shocked that steel melts when you get it hot enough…

At this point, several other posters piled on Furry. So at this point he gets all fired up about defending, of all things, the superiority of the MP-5.

Note, for my non-gun readers, the MP-5 is a shoulder fired weapon that uses a pistol cartridge. Which means it is far weaker, shorter range, and less effective than something chambered in an actual rifle cartridge. The entire tactical industry moved away from the pistol caliber subguns big time over the last two decades. Everybody in the gun business knows this. 

Geodike, your reply was hilariously ignorant. Starting with reliability-yes a ppsh41 may be more so, but a baseball bat is far more so. You want to bring that to the fight hoping luck’s on your side and the MP5 might jam? Wow. Just wow. Yes. That’s my entire strategy.  Or how about I just shoot you with my &^%ing gun?

Compare the ammo and the 9mm loses? In a shoulder fired weapon. Yes. It sucks.

Try a .40 MP5. Getting warmer.

No? How about a 10mm MP5 Both of which were discontinued a long time ago, because everybody switched to a 5.56 M-4 if you truly want your subguns completely overwhelmed in accuracy, reach, and power. Use a rifle cartridge?

Again, what is your mission? Mowing down small villages… your guns shine, but say your son has a gun to his head at 30 yards and is being forced into a leaving van? This apparently happens a lot in the Furry community.

One chance…and what tool do professionals (not you) choose when they must make that choice at any moment every day? Well, judging from something like 95% of the SWAT teams in the country, a 5.56 caliber carbine?

I don’t think HK convinced movie or game companies to promote their products. And if you do, then why is HK suing companies for ‘use without permission’ and forcing replica makers to cease and desist? Isn’t that called the opposite? Just once I’d like one of my trolls to be able to stick with a train of thought…

Steyr Aug, Mac10, M76? Discussing gun companies that no else mentioned proves your premise weak and defenseless-distracting others from the main point is becoming an obvious trend as you falter. WTF? What is your main point? That the obvious choice of professionals is a gun that was discontinued a decade ago because it was really unpopular and didn’t sell well?

If I have to explain to a ‘current military systems engineer’ why a standard AR DI gas system heats up faster than a piston system, than a new level of government waste has just been reached. Here he is responding to somebody who actually does this stuff for a living with Furry’s typical aplomb. But in his defense, it probably gets really hot inside a giant panda bear suit, so he’s probably in a foul mood.

 See the guy holding the 416 bolt seconds after a 2clip mag dump? You try that with a DI system and your palm will sound and smell like the bacon’s almost ready. Because in combat, you often have to field strip your firearm and hold the bolt.

If you knew that perhaps it would be shocking. Don’t touch hot stuff? What?

Which system will last longer and remain accurate? Or even fire reliably from under water WHAAAT?  (reason given why the SEALS based in Japan just ordered all HK416s)?  SEALs based in Japan have their own procurement system because they shoot their rifles… under water…

REAL soldiers don’t have to anything but fight and survive – there is nothing “routine” about it or it wouldn’t be so hard. And push ups suck. It may be that we have to repel Chinese the way we did in North Korea, and you say, “it may” go ten thousand rounds? How about, “it will” go 600 rounds. You are fighting the last war with this mentality-not the next one. Is this why I want a 10mm pistol cartridge to repel human wave attacks… Wait, by his logic earlier, isn’t this the part where you should use a baseball bat?

And why would a “REAL army” be worried about ammo variation? Logistics? They would own a weapon system where the ammo is already optimized (like HK’s). Oops. I’m not even sure which particular gun he’s talking about, but all of the HK guns that have ever entered production that I’m aware of shoot standard military ammo.

Norway’s freeze issues were blamed on lack of prep (no break-in on test rifles). Oopsie daisies! Actually, the test guns passed. IIRC these were issued weapons.  Ooopsie daises!

And duh. It is cold. Guns freeze. (even Quantum ones) I remember reading about a test in the arctic awhile back and the winner was the Galil.

You want to field an effective army with the least training possible from a tactical standpoint. So why would you desire a weapon that requires more time to train and is more prone to problems? Burst technology – OBJECTION! Find me any soldier anywhere that prefers the idiotic 3 round burst and it’ll be the first one I’ve ever met- and most other HK innovations allow the untrained to equal an enemy and the trained to better them.  WTF? No, really? Huh?  

That is why they are great. And expensive. Are you listening to yourself? They’re great and expensive because 3 round burst it makes the untrained better? Current military doctrine for riflemen is rapid aimed semi-auto.

And for the record, just because I’m not an MP-5 doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use one. I’ve use versions with 2 and 3 shot bursts. Useless feature. Pull the friggin’ trigger and let go when you’re done. DUH.  I got to where I could run one on full auto and squeeze off single shots. You just have to get on and off the trigger quick.

The other reason they are expensive is people who buy $900 guns don’t cause class action suits as readily as people who buy $200 guns. Poor people never sue… Excuse me. I done fell over at WalMart! Woot! I done won the lottery!

And limiting distribution volume undermines those lawyers arguments immensely. I got a business degree, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in there. What a crock of dumb.

In a way, we do suck and they would be right to hate us, if they did, because we allowed those lawyers to become congressmen. By avoiding US lawsuits, their money stays in the research and development department. That doesn’t even make any sense. Selling makes you liable period, so they sell less on purpose… so they’ll be… huh?

Who wrote that business plan? The underwear gnomes? Step 3. PROFIT!

Where it can apparently further amaze you. You made an AR18 out of plastic? Will it butter my toast? No. Then screw you, Fritz!

You say the future of ammo is caseless when it’s already history. HK had working models firing caseless ammo in the 1970s (German reunification cancelled it’s production and sent the company briefly reeling). Except it had all sorts of problems, didn’t work very well, and was shot out of a gun that’s insides looked like a clock.

Bonus points for trying though.

If you want the future, it’s in the present: XM25, a 25mm that’s a good match for your WW2 guns in a fair fight. Oh wait. That’s not fair at all. So a 25mm cannon is more than a match for a gun that was built 60 years ago (based on a design by John Browning from WWI)? Whew. That’s progress.  My 2007 Ford Taurus goes faster than a ’32 Packard, and it isn’t even German!

Then more people kicked him about like a mentally-disabled beach ball, but Furry wasn’t deterred.

Maybe this whole thing is a practice session for character development in a book. Oh, God no. I’d never inflict you on my readers.  Start with an absurd assertion likely to be emotional for some folks (former hostages), Who? What? then respond with various ‘personalities’ like that of “cranky old vietnam vet”, and “mid 30s jaded spfc’s mustached defense expert fantasy you”, Wait… Do those words even make a sentence? etc. If on the other hand it’s supposed to be a logical weapons perspective it fails.

Ignoring 95% of the response, seizing on debatable semantics here or there, Nope. I’m using all of your idiocy this time, and it is really starting to hurt my head- and then without basis assume the responders positions on other guns or general background, or maybe jump between decades and applications to confuse the central issue. –Said the guy playing what’s the best gun for a hostage shot in the 1980s during a bad episode of Miami Vice –

No matter how long winded or informative on other topics, your replies are never to the original point. HK, the legacy of Mauser, –Does Furry know that not all Germans work for the same company? It’s not like you fly in, they hand you a beer-strudel, some lederhosen, and sausage-snitzel and then you go to either Mercedes, HK, or the place that makes those big alpine horns- has more respect from the world’s elite operating community (yes, you are frustrated at not being a part of it, we get that), Really? Do my shattered dreams shine through that hard? than any other firearms manufacturer.  

Let me address that last bit, the fallacy that one gun company enjoys this super dooper rep with the cool-guy tactical community. Bull shit. Their gun nuts are as opinionated as everybody else’s gun nuts. Don’t believe me? Go to SHOT show sometime.

Maybe not you, or your friend jimmy-Bob, but on average, they will improve an army (only goal) as a system and as individual weapons. If only the Germans would have had German made weapons, because then they would’ve totally won… Oh wait…

(side note, the Wehrmacht just had a rifle test and the HK lost and it looks like they’re picking up the Sig SAPR for a DMR. Quantum physics must not have been part of that test)  

This is by application and decade – comparing today’s Daniel Defense carbine to a 1950s HK .223 prototype will only leave you slightly impressed by the HK. Instead let’s put a 416C next to any choice you have of DI in the same dimensions and who wins? The Daniel Defense? The LWRC? The LMT? The SCAR? The Remington ACR? You don’t, since you aren’t able to get a 416C, And I will cry myself to sleep at night knowing I wasn’t able to buy a $4,000 gun that might-marginally-maybe be a teensy bit better than something else that I could buy for half- but the best troops in the world are fielding it as you read this. Fielding, and bought a handful to screw around with are not synonymous.

The Marines did buy the IAR, which is a beefy little carbine.    

My reply was subgun vs subgun, not subgun vs carbine (typical of your response style). Who was it with the whole hostage shot thing with a 10mm MP5 earlier?

 Again, you are at the family reuinion, a jerwad ex rolls in with a 12 gauge shouting, surrounded by nieces and nephews (since you aren’t obviously a family man), Huh? and you can reach for one weapon off the rack – How about I just shoot him in the face with the $2,000 STI on my hip? the MP5 is still the best choice unless you hate this family or planned this as a sniper event. Why?

Special ammo like cor-bon in .223 may not be handy (to cut short 5 paragraphs of your reply from describing ammo variables or something). I’ve got 280 rounds of Hornady TAP loaded in magazines in the pouches on my vest, sitting in the closest next to one of my ARs. But for this test, it is more likely that I’ll have access to a discontinued, oddball, 10mm subgun?

I won’t continue since arguing with the slow kid is proof that I’m a little slow. No argument there.

But since you are a machine gun renter, –Retired- and the best tool for that is an Uzi or a PPsh, -Like I said in the original post, we also had MP-5s, and made lots of money renting them to fanbois – I will agree that for your application, your tools are perfect for the job.

The dead giveaway that I have no trigger time is also laughable, since you likely handed me one to dump rounds through. If not at a school, then likely in KY, where we’ve been going with my uncle (who owns a couple Stens) to Knob Creek Machine Gun festival for 15 years, twice a year, spending three days each time on the triggers of everything, EVERYTHING, including 40,000 plus rounds on the GE minigun –  

Let me get this straight. You’re claiming to have shot $20,000 dollars worth of ammo (not including the astronomical rental fee for a minigun)?  Dayum. I didn’t know that whole sticky panda suit thing paid that well.  

and, the guys that own these guns and the former para’s that help them, say the same thing. Thanks for the buckets of money, idiot?

In order to say these are inferior weapons systems, or that HK policy is to punish the private citizen, ignores 95 % of truth, again. You can live on in a land of 5% reality, where you wear a patch and throw grenades at problems, where the “sheeple” sleep and mall ninjas pester your greatness, but 100% of the truth is….the fantasy world of an author on his blog, whose points are supported only by imaginary friends, will seldom have much to do with actual facts or reality. And as the blood pressure rises and you flail about responses, Whew, yeah, I’ve sure had to flail.

i’m off to the real world, never to return. And we’ll see how long that lasts…

So keep it brief. Said the guy that posted over 4,000 words to an archived blog post.

#

Aaand he came back. Again. Mike Williamson bashed him over the head about how he knew ^$#@-all about how bullets actually work.

Heheh. Overpenetration. That is the answer we were looking for. If you are launching .223 of any type at your family than we are right to question your loyalty to them (not an insult…observation).  FUN with physics time! Did you know that a heavily constructed, slow moving pistol bullet will tend to hold together rather than fragment (which is what it was designed to do to maximize penetration in order to hit vital organs), whereas a rifle bullet is moving much faster, and a lightly constructed one is designed to tumble and fragment?

But Furry knows more about what bullets do that any stupid old SWAT team!

Another answer you are getting wrong is the trend in purchasing by top level operators, since they are definitely buying more HK products then ever before. As evidenced by all those lucrative contracts! Like the IAR… and the… Well… shoot.

Grenade launcher sales alone would discredit your claim (or even just the HK GMG), but several strangely public purchase decisions have also proved that the 416 is storming. Groan. You ignorant slut. Strangely public? Big procurements are always public. I’m guessing you don’t know anything about government contracting either, though you’ll tell me I’m wrong, because I’ve ONLY been a finance manager for a government contractor.

And for those reading this before buying, keep in mind resale value and reputation. All the other mall ninjas will laugh at you !

Innovation like the dual-recoil spring from the 1993 USP, just showed up in the newest Glock.  Didn’t the Bren 10 and the 4506 have dual recoil springs? Like dual-optics You mean that on top of each other thing that HK did a very unpopular job with that Trijicon then did better, but 3gunners were doing years before?, tactical slings, I’ll give them the nifty little clip, but I’ve see pics of rigged single points from WW2- QD scopes (that hold zero), The claw mount doesn’t hold zero for crap, and there were QD scopes dating back to the 20s.

and hundreds of other things this company introduced in it’s history (and folks like you initially made fun of), there are few as influential –  Browning? Colt? Mauser? Stoner? Kalashnikov? Garand? Saive?

That’s the results of a 150 year old R&D and metallurgical tradition, and of not supporting the lawyers of the world (why we suck). Germany is a lawless place. Kind of like Mad Max, with better guns, and good looking, but stern women.

As far as Knob Creek, it’s not the limit of my “operational experience”, He’s so operatery he can barely stand it but a good place to shoot every machine gun made, multiple times with variable ammo and barrel lengths etc. And to spend $20K on somebody’s mini-gun!

Also for weekend warriors to come watch it happen. Since everything you write proves you are such a warrior, Why do these guys always insinuate that anyone who disagrees with them wants to be in the military? I got rejected for medical reasons in ’93 and have pretty much lived a happy and fulfilling life making lots of money off working for the military ever since – figured we saw you there, hoping to mow down all the targets on the lower range with one spray of your PPsh (but remember those misses in real life mean you are dead). Sigh. He’s lecturing a 3gunner on speed and accuracy?

That’s all. Work’s over, panda suit is very sticky- going home now, but later I guess I will check in to see how you huff and puff. In that way you are an entertaining writer.

Up until now it had been Mike Williamson and some other posters debating this twit. This is where I had to get involved, because I really didn’t know what he was talking about.

Correia45 said:

Furrys, are you talking to me (the original author) still? Because this blog post is over 3 years old… Most of us have moved on with our lives, so I’m a little confused if you’re talking to me or not. (though I did have to comment last week for an idiot to explain the concept of what the 1st Amendment actually says) If you are talking to me about being an entertaining writer, why yes, my last novel just made the New York Times bestseller list, so apparently quite a few people seem to think so.

And overpenetration? Really? Uhm… you may want to go see what your local SWAT team is using. (Hint, really good odds it is some sort of 5.56 shooting something like Hornady TAP, specifically because of overpenetration issues)

Now let me clarify for all four of the non-gunny readers of the Monster Hunter Nation. Almost every SWAT team in the US has switched from 9mm submachine guns to 5.56 carbines. This is for a few specific reasons. 5.56 is far and away more destructive against a human being than a pistol round (and destructive equals shutting the bad guy down faster) and as an added bonus, when used with proper ammo (like the above mentioned Hornady TAP) it tends to fragment quickly, which means that if you miss, odds are that it won’t go through as many walls.

However, anything strong enough to poke a hole in a human body deep enough to hit vital organs will penetrate your average interior wall. No problem.

He responded.

“Alright, ‘you two’ – for an “entertaining writer”, those were boring replies.”

Let’s see… I write books for a living. I am paid lots of money to write books. I’ve got 9 professional sales to a major publishing house, two bestsellers, a collaboration in the works with one of the top selling sci-fi writers of all time and I live in a giant house in the mountains under a ski-resort with my large gun collection paid for by my writing. So basically, your opinion of my blog scribbling really isn’t going to hurt my feelings any.

Oh, and the other guy he’s been arguing with is Mike Z. Williamson, who is also a very successful, award winning, popular sci-fi novelist. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a crap either.

Overpenetration is hitting the family behind the bad guy, wall or no wall. If you want to know what “acceptable losses” means, ask those same TAP using SWAT guys.

I tried to diagram that sentence, but I really don’t know what you’re trying to say. It was at this point that I went back and read all his previous crap.

As far as continuing a moronic blog column for three years, that’s your doing.

Internet. Meet Furrys. Furrys. Meet internet. I don’t “continue” a blog post. I post them, and then they stay there… on the internet. It isn’t my fault people keep reading it 3 years later.

I’m only here since it’s funny to see you dodging the bulk of of the facts and hiding it with insults these past couple months.

Which is a highly ironic statement, since the last time I responded to the actual topic of this blog post was OCTOBER 28^th 2009. A year ago. Which is like ten eons in internet time.

The only other response since then was to somebody looking for a web store, and then this exchange from last week, which further proves my point:

Special Guest Idiot Fart knocker said

you comment-deleting terd burglar. The author deletes comments on this post at his discretion, because you suck, and he hates you.

Seriously, grow a pair and let the 1st amendment ring, you fucking pansy.

Now obviously I had to respond to that, because I have a personal vendetta against stupid on the internet. (stupid burned my village when I was very young) So here was my response.

correia45 said

First off, the only comments I ever delete are the spambots and the idiots that can’t string together a coherent sentence. Luckily, you make the cut. (barely)

Secondly, comments from new posters don’t appear until I post them. I’m sorry I didn’t approve your brain-damaged comment on a three-year-old blog post sooner, but I was on a leg of a my national book tour for my New York Times bestselling novel. This may shock you, but some of us have a life outside of working the night shift at Arbys.

Third, you have no 1st Amendment right to post on somebody else’s blog, you ignorant slut. I’d take the time to explain how the Constitution and Bill of Rights are about the limitations on governmental authority, but you’d just go back to huffing paint and forget anyway.

#

That last bit never ceases to amaze me either. I remember back when I was a moderator on THR. Most imbeciles have zero concept of what the Constitution or the Bill of Rights actually say. Then Furry came back AGAIN.

It’s interesting to me how you don’t have to address the shortcomings of your arguments by spending your response time speculating on the stupidity of each poster that disagrees with your lame assertion.

Wow. You got me there. I’m such a big mean jerk-face on my own blog. But Furry wanted a real response, hence this blog post. You can’t really accuse me of cherry picking now, can you ass wipe? 😀

Thanks indeed for the laughs!

No Furry. Thank you. Without guys like you and Nickwolf and the other idiots that feel the need to troll my blog, I’d be stuck having to fisk the news and political speeches… And that gets boring after awhile. You guys are like the soft white underbelly of the internet. Like the limping gazelle too retarded to keep up with the pack, and I, as a blogger, wait, perched like a falcon, ready to strike.

I need a new hobby.

Mp5s shine because, since the 70′s the pro’s load with BAT (Blitz Action Trauma) type rounds that are teflon coated yet commit 100% of energy to target.

You know, I took a 12 hour wound ballistics class once and I must have missed that part where pistols were energy weapons. (take that Fallout!).  All those autopsy photos, and I came away under the mistaken impression that bullets killed people by poking holes in them.

Which brings us back to a weapons SYSTEM optimized for the application. Is this the magic bullet you meant? For which application? Oh wait. Facts. Sorry to bring those up since they aren’t welcome.

I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I think that it is that a 9mm MP5 is the choice of “real operators” only when loaded with an obscure cartridge that you can’t actually purchase.

For the record, the GECO BAT is an odd round from the 1980s. They were like 1,400 fps for an 80 something grain bullet. They were a fad, and then they went away as better modern hollow points replaced them. I don’t even know if you can find BAT anymore.

When my stepmom killed her abusive ex-husband one night in the late 1980s in albuquerque, she used a VP70Z loaded with BAT bullets. He beat his way through a patio window with a ballping hammer (reliable weapon you can appreciate) and hit her several times before she got the gun in her hand.

I don’t know what a ballping hammer is, and I missed that episode of Trailer Park Adventures.

Then all 18 shots rang out, cutting him mostly in half but without “overpenetrating”.

Apparently, since she had to shoot him 18 times.

That gun, with the first polymer frame in the business, was laughed at by many (likely you).

I think it got laughed at because it had one of the most horrendous trigger pulls ever put onto a gun that wasn’t shooting little plastic disks. But don’t you worry, in 1985 I was far more interested in watching the A-Team than making fun of the VP70, because I was 10.

But experience has taught me that you, like so so many before you (especially those working that case), will eventually realize you have been pissing in the wind all along.

I’m assuming the people working the case were probably thinking that if she shot the guy with bullets that penetrated more she wouldn’t have had to cut him in half before he quit hitting her with a hammer.

I buy American as a rule, and have boycotted China for 13 years, (hate to burst your bubble, but if you’re typing this on a computer, you’re not boycotting China) but if the alloy involved has lives depending on it, the Germans get my dime. Because German metal is more better… Because of SCIENCE!!!

Say what you will, but facts have momentum – your opinions won’t be slowing the big train down (three years of trying sure proves it). Yes. I’ve been trying VERY hard, what with having posted a rant written over my lunch break three years ago.

Wow. Furry takes idiot trolling to a new and interesting place. Think about this. I’m a professional writer. I write about as fast as I can think I fisked this post while watching the season finale of Top Gear. I’m betting Furry doesn’t write nearly that fast, but he’s takent he time to write a novella sized… something. That’s trollish dedicaiton.

But just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, he posted AGAIN while I was writing this response.

Hey its what I know but it ain’t BS – She got manslaughter 1 because the police considered it an “offensive weapon” system rather than a “defensive” one. Even the Albuquerque DA endorses HK as a quality sidearm. It was struck down because of, of course, the 2nd amendment makes no distinctions.

I’ll just let that stand on its own without comment, because there is so very much bullshit there that I can’t even begin to decipher it.

But you should have at least said, “bet the first shot missed cause a that heavy trigger pull” (which is only the first round and in case you’ve been hit with a hammer, you don’t need to find the safety…just start squeezin), That’s what she said! BURN.  (well, he started being immature first!)

that would have meant you know something, or appreciate that as a machine pistol in its own holster/stock and that at 2300 rpm rof doesnt leave its target- 6 3 round bursts – only competitor was the MP5K which killed it. So your mother cut your father in half with a machine pistol?

Dude, do you drive a tactical golf cart to work?

The briefcase for the MP5K? Which you couldn’t aim? The squeeze cockers that are still the fastest cocking firing semi handguns ever made… So important when speed counts that they dominate competition speed shooting… Oh… never mind. (and I actually like the P7, it’s classy, but that’s just an idiotic statement) Pulse Laser 100 on my MP5, with surefire upgraded 190 lumens led and a can is a nice night light even these days + children can use it… What? just rambling Naw. Really? here still amazed that you could be anything but appreciative of the results, which help make Nato NATO? and the US the big dog – and you a sucker head

So there you have it folks. The US of A is awesome because of HK and I’m a big mean sucker head.  Good luck, and god speed, Furry. May your mall always be safe and your bear costume tactical…