When you run a business you will get audited by the government. If something your company does raises a red flag with the government, they will audit you. If there is an anomaly in your government mandated paperwork you must legally submit, it can trigger an audit. And sometimes, various agencies will just randomly audit you to make sure you are obeying all their regulations.
The IRS audits everyone’s financials to make sure they are paying all their taxes. That’s federal, but you will also be audited by your state tax commission. If your state has sales tax you will eventually undergo a sales tax audit.
If you have employees you will get random audits to make sure your EEOC paperwork is in order, and you can have ICE audits to make sure all your employees are citizens or have their immigration paperwork in order.
Your workplace will eventually be audited by OSHA to make sure it is compliant with health and safety regulations. If you process food products, you will be audited by the USDA inspectors. They even have people to check your dairy cows.
If you own a restaurant you’ve surely met your state Health Inspectors many times. Are you building a house? That’s getting inspected by a building inspector to make sure it is up to code.
If you are involved in military contracting you will be audited by the DCAA. Every single invoice, every part, and every single billable hour had better match what you reported to the government. (and trust me, this one is basically a colonoscopy).
If you are part of any small business programs you will be audited by the SBA. If you sell or manufacture firearms you will be audited by the BATFE. In preparing this post I did a quick search for government auditor positions, and there were jobs for agencies I’d never even heard of before.
In between all of these various government audits, companies employ internal auditors to continually check all their systems to make sure they are in compliance, and then they bring in outside 3rd party CPA firms to test them as well, all to get ready and fix any potential problems before the various government auditors show up. Because if the government catches you doing something wrong they can fine you, shut you down, or even throw you in jail.
Every government department has auditors to check on every single entity under their purview. Every single government program that does business with the private sector has auditors to check those businesses for compliance. Every single state and city that gets money from some government department gets audited by that government department, and then those local governments check all the people and businesses they work with too. Every step of the way the government audits the people, and if you don’t obey their rules, you will be corrected, punished, fined, or imprisoned.
It is a great big audit jamboree of everybody checking everybody else’s work, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because it is always safe to assume in any given endeavor human beings make mistakes and sometimes they are dishonest.
Except for elections. Elections are special.
Apparently elections are a sainted process, and people would never lie and cheat there, and the people over the controls would never obfuscate and cover their asses if their controls were insufficient. That only happens in literally every other industry on Earth… but not in elections. They are different.
Because the government gets to audit the people, but the people don’t get to audit the government. Nope. At best we get recounts, where we simply count the fraudulent data twice. And if you don’t like it, shut up.
If your company has glaring statistical anomalies that all benefit the same party, or there were tips saying you’d violated some regulation, government auditors would perform an audit on you. You could be innocent, and there could be a perfectly rational explanation for those flags. But that doesn’t matter, a full audit would still be performed, because the government would make sure you hadn’t wronged it.
But that’s a one way street. If the people feel they have been wrong in an election, no audits are performed. Sure, you might get a cursory spot check here or there, but the idea of having outside auditors come in and give them access to the data to check to make sure it is valid? (like is required in every other thing in the world) That’s crazy!
No. Checking an election consists of the system asking the system if the system is okay and the system declaring the system is fine. Then they call that an “audit” and you should just suck it up. In elections you can just make up whatever excuse you want to explain the flags, and that’s cool. If anyone questions this, they obviously hate democracy.
And even if you’re like me, and you’ve got a professional background of going through many different kinds of audits from various federal and state agencies, if you think the election result should be audited with the same level of scrutiny the government would apply to any of our businesses or personal financials, you are a terrible conspiracy theorist, and should be shamed into silence. Now enjoy these “fact checks” written by journalism majors who can’t balance their checkbooks.
I’m kind of bummed that I got that accounting degree, and then spent all those years being audited in various industries, when all I had to do is declare “I checked myself and everything is fine here” and that’s sufficient.
Now watch. As you share this a horde of gas lighting morons will arrive on your page to shame you into silence. We already know what they’ll say. They’ll cite court cases being tossed, even though most of those were on standing or legal procedures, not fraud. Most of the fraud stuff has never been presented in court, and even if it did, it was compiled by outsiders using data available to the public, not real auditors with access to source data, which is what is necessary in order to prove fraud. Or they’ll cite some of the weak sauce “audits” which have happened around the country, even though at best those are spot checks (sometimes in the wrong spot!) not audits, and they were conducted by the same people who probably fucked it up to begin with. Don’t worry. None of them will read this far. Just watch.
So in conclusion, the government loves auditing everything the people do because we are incompetent, untrustworthy, cheaters. But if the people want to audit election results, we are terrible bad conspiracy theorists who need to be shamed into silence. Them auditing us is good and necessary. Us auditing them is silly foolishness.
I’m glad we got that cleared up.