Okay,  this I have to respond to with it’s own blog post.  After my last posting where I talked about the HK fan boys mocking me on the internet, this was posted here by Jim.

It sounds like you’re intimidated to me.I get lectured by the kids and newbies shooting SKS’s about how
reliable their guns are and blah blah blah. Then they can’t hit a pie plate at
100 yards.

Or the self proclaimed gun experts that do all their pistol work at 7
or 10 yards and think they are hotshots because they can dump a mag full
of ammo in the chest of a silhouette target.

If all you can afford is an SKS or a cheap 1911 clone, don’t feel bad.
Anything that gets you shooting is good. But if you ever want to go to
anything beyond ‘minute of outhouse’ accuracy and maintain battle
proficiency, you are going to need to upgrade to better guns.

Okay, now to respond.  Jim, I don’t disagree with you about self-proclaimed experts who can’t shoot, or about kids who are proud of their guns, but can’t shoot. 

 But, let me break this down.  As far as me being intimidated, intimidated by what exactly? 

Intimidated because I don’t have fancy guns?  I don’t often post about my personal guns because that seems rather obnoxious, but here goes.  I’m not intimidated by somebody owning an HK, because I personally own a couple.  Keep in mind I own a gun store.  We’re NFA dealers.  I have a full auto MP5 post ’86 demo gun.  I also own half a dozen other submachine guns, and I wouldn’t feel undergunned using ANY of them rather than the MP5.  I actually like shooting the PPsH the best. 

Maybe I’m intimidated because of my handgun?  You mentioned cheap 1911 clone.  My last “cheap 1911 clone” cost me $1600, and I pay master dealer cost.    I got a tricked out STI, that is currently my favorite pistol in the world to shoot.

 But it’s a game gun.  So maybe you think I’m intimidated because I don’t have an “Operator’s” handgun?  Well, I’ve also got a Sig 226 Tactical with the tall night sights, AAC Evolution suppresor, Unimax laser, TLR flashhlight, and it bounces around attached to my Pointblank Level 4 body armor, while I use my fancy-pants, custom 10.5 AR-SD with Tac-16 suppresor, EO-Tech 553, and big-ass eyeball melting Surefire.  All of that crap put together not only weighs a ton, it also cost a pile of money.  But being a dealer does have a couple of perks.

See, obnoxious ain’t it? Nobody likes to hear somebody brag about their Cool Guy Gear.  (unless you’re a fan boy, because then it is the most important thing EVER).  And none of that means squat if I can’t shoot it or know how to use it effectively. 

So maybe I’m intimidated because I can’t shoot good?  I am a little rusty.  I’ll admit that. Since I opened FBMG, most of my Saturday’s have been eaten up with teaching or working, so I don’t hardly ever get to any matches anymore.  But ironically enough, I still know how to shoot pretty damn good.  But once again, bragging about how awesome you are on the internet gets mighty old, so I don’t bother to do it.

But if I need to, in order to justify the fact that I have an opinion, I’m actually pretty good with a handgun, excellent with a carbine, and I’m Hell Come To Frogtown with a shotgun.  I haven’t shot IDPA in 2 years, but was ranked Expert, and the only reason I couldn’t make Master was that I suck at Limited Vickers scoring, and always choke on stage 3.  With a handgun I’ve won my division a few times, and I usually placed in the top portion of most of the competitions I ever shot, and pistol was my weakest gun. 

With a carbine I do rather well.  Not precision rifle, as I’m the first to admit that I’ve got a lot more to learn about there.  But I’m a 3gunner by background.  I’m all about going fast and hitting little things relatively far away.  When I was practicing a lot, at the annual Utah carbine match, I took 2nd overall.  Out of the top 10 shooers, 9 were shooting ARs.  I shot an iron sighted AK-47.  The next year, I was using an XCR that I had never shot before (had to write a magazine review) using an optic that had been zeroed by PvtPyle (inside the gunstore!), I took 5th overall.  So I do know that the bullets come out the pointy end of the gun.

So if I’m not intimidated by quality, or ability, what the hell am I intimidated by?

Oh wait, I forgot.  That’s the next thing you do when you disagree with somebody about a Fan Boy item.  You question their ability to afford it, followed by questioning their knowledge.  So if they check out there, then they must be intimidated by the SHEER AWESOMENESS of your choosen idol. 

Jim, this isn’t aimed at you personally, but those kids talking up their SKS’s who can’t hit a target at a hundred aren’t special.  They sound like most of us when we started out.  Only the kids with the $160 surplus Yugoslavs sound like the regular newbies, not the obnoxious rich ones that have a $3,000 gas-piston AR who post pictures of it on AR15.com, but also don’t know how to shoot.   

Edit:  Jim’s Response: 

Sounds like bragging to me, bud – or trying to justify something.

Fill your boots.

The only thing I’m justifying is my opnion. So, if you mention cheap guns, then you’re too poor to understand the awesomeness of the Fan Boy Gun, but if you mention that you actually own the Fan Boy Guns, or even better guns, then you’re bragging.  On one side of the internet, I’m told that I’m too poor to buy HK, on the other side I’m a  gun snob.  Fill your boots?  What does that even mean?   I didn’t know Clint Eastwood used an HK in Unforgiven.

Because it looks like I just got picked up by a major publisher. 

Hell Yeah!

Nothing official yet.  Details to follow.  I’ll be discontinuing the print-on-demand version of MHI from Infinity.  This is a big deal.  This is one of my all-time favorite publishing houses, and home to some of the greatest writers of our time.  I’m pretty excited.

I hadn’t seen this one yet. 

http://southparkpundit.com/?p=855

Yep, it’s kind of like crack.  🙂 

I check my blog stats once in awhile to see where hits are coming from.  The most popular thing I’ve written on here is still the HK. Because you suck.  And we hate you mega rant.  That thing makes the rounds across all sorts of boards.  It has showed up on every gun board, car boards, video game boards, and even the Scented Candle Emporium & Teddy Bear Hospital forum. 

 

I follow these links back, and reading the HK Fanboy hate that is expressed is always priceless.  Let me give you an example of one that I just read:

 

http://3dgamenight.com/forums/m_219219/mpage_2/tm.htm  Post #34

 

Some dude named Zissky states that “it isn’t an accident that the extreme vast majority of both military and LE agencies around the world choose HK over all others”

 

HA HA HA Snort!  You’ve got to be friggin’ kidding me.  Okay, maybe back in the glory days of us using 9mm subguns and MP5s, but now?  Okay, how many PDs carry HK?  How many carry Glock?  I’m not a Glock fan by any stretch of the imagination, but they own the domestic LE market.  Since the “extreme vast majority” uses HK, and last I checked, Glock owns the market, I’m having a hard time figuring that one out.

 

Military?  Okay, you’ve got… Germany, obviously.  Spain, because you know, they do a lot of fighting.  (blow up a subway and the whole country surrenders).  And… Lithuania?  Seriously, I do believe Lith SF uses a G36, or at least they had them in Afghanistan while our local SF group was deployed there.  Then there are a handful of other countries that have been conned by the conniving Tutons into buying the melty rifle.  Which is pretty sad, because a couple decades ago they managed to trick like 50 countries into buying the G3 (and most of them found themselves wishing they had gone with the FAL, but didn’t want to deal with those uppity Belgians)

 

There are a handful of people that do this stuff for a living that choose HK.  Good for them.  Most of the professional firearms instructors I know carry A. What their department mandates.  B.  Glock.  C.  A 1911 variant.  Or D. Everything else.  And D is made up of a lot of stuff, and in the years that I’ve been in the gun business, I’ve known a couple of professionals that chose the HK pistol.  And usually they’re blessed with the Germanic 4^th Knuckle Master Grip that allows them to shoot the damn thing and its horrible trigger.

 

I suppose “The Extreme Vast Majority” of LE and military refers to people playing Rainbow Six.  Or he heard it on Future Weapons, so it must be real.

 

But this is the stuff that I enjoy.  “the article was pure comedy, btw  the guy has no penis or the money to afford a proper weapon and will probably be settling for his SW auto and his SKS but that’s for another thread”

 

Okay, random internet guy, let me address your concerns.  Yes, the article was comedy.  It made me laugh writing it.  Next, I do in fact have a penis.  I’m rather proud of it.  And no, this is not the kind of site where I will post pictures of it for you. 

 

As for the money to afford a proper weapon, I own a… wait for it… MACHINE GUN STORE.  I have a couple of guns. Since I post under my own name, anybody can drop by my shop (which actually exists in Draper, Utah, on Earth, and not just on the internet) and see the HK machine guns that we own.  (I know, critiquing something that you actually have experience with, rather than taking Future Weapons at its word?  Shocking)

 

That kind of post always makes me laugh.  Anytime a rabid fanboy reads a criticism of their chosen (overpriced) brand, then obviously the person doing the criticism must be poor.  It’s kind of like that one douchebag that asked “what is your life worth” because if you didn’t carry an HK, then it wasn’t worth much.  Your life is worth what it costs me to hire a crack head to kill you.  Period.  Just because you suck with money, and make poor purchasing decisions, and feel the need to blow $800-$1000 on a polymer handgun with poor ergonomics and a horrible trigger, or $1600+ on a neutered 10 shot rifle with a thumbhole stock, doesn’t make you a bad ass gunslinger. 

 

Rabid fanboys (not limited to just HK, but occurring with all brands, across all spectrums of the universe, from cars to blenders) always assume that the person they’re talking to is ignorant.  I’m willing to go out on a limb and bet that I’ve shot more rounds through HK weapons that your average HK fanboy.  (unless you count the rounds fired while playing Call Of Duty 4, because then they’ve probably got me beat pretty handily, but I’m talking about actual bullets, from a real gun).

 

As for the SW auto or the SKS, why yes, I would actually take a new production SW 1911 or M&P over a USP any day of the week. But what do I know?  I actually shoot guns, rather than just talk about them on the internet.  As for the SKS, people that actually know how to shoot don’t make fun of them.  When you aren’t hanging a bunch of cheap plastic garbage and faulty 30 round mags off of them, they actually work well, have a better trigger and usually shoot a better group than a G3.

 

Only I can buy 2 dozen decent SKS rifles for the price of a single original G3 and arm an entire Girl Scout troop.  But darn it, then I couldn’t brag on the internet about how super awesome my gun is because it was expensive, and built in Germany.  Which is ironic, since a couple of days ago, I posted a picture of myself with an MG3… But then again, what do I know?  I’m just jealous of your fancy HK. 

  

Well, I was in stock there for a whole day. 

Now when you pull up my novel, you get this:

My readers are certainly a diverse bunch.  Kill monsters with chainsaws… love stories… yeah, I see the connection.

Somebody do me a favor and post a review over there.  It is looking kind of forlorn.  🙂