I haven’t posted since right after the election. That’s because every single person in America has decided to go buy an AR15, AK47, or other evil black rifle. Apparently nobody with two brain cells to rub together bought into how Barack is now a friend of the 2nd Amendment.

Sales have been… well… brisk.  Maybe a better word would be insane.

We’ve sold out of everything three times over, and we’re bringing in more guns as fast as we can find them and call in favors. If you’re waiting for something, let’s put this in perspective. I talked to Stag the day before the election and they had received orders for 6,000 rifles in the last few days. They were out 4 weeks, and that was before Barry the Community Organizer assumed his rightful place at the left hand of Satan.

RSR, largest wholesaler of firearms in America has nothing in stock. Nothing. No semi auto 5.56, 7.62×39, or .308 guns. No Kel-Tecs, no Colts, no Bushmasters, no Sigs, no FNs, zip, bupkis. We’re backordering product like crazy and taking orders.

I found 5 DPMS AP4s yesterday and picked them up from a local cop shop. I brought them into the shop around 3:00, put them on the bound book, and the last one was sold by 6:00.  In that same timeframe I sold 2 Sig 556s, a Colt sporter, an Olympic plinker, 2 WASRs, a Golani, an AK made out of railroad ties and plywood by a Pakistani over a campfire from the Khyber Pass, an Airsoft gun, and traded 2 chickens and a bag of rice for a goat. It was a very busy afternoon.

The phone rings constantly. 10 seconds after you put the phone down, it is another person, asking the same question I’ve already answered 6,782,872 times since Tuesday. NO. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO GET BANNED.  Have these people not been paying attention? Did this catch them by surprise?  They’ve only been campaigning for 2 years now. 

Our custom gun wall has become the Barack Obama Memorial Layaway wall as we’re trying to find a place to stash all the guns that have been people put money down on until they get paid again. The only part of the economy that is booming is gun sales, or at least, until Comrade Chairman Obama shuts us all down and we become the FBMG Teddy Bear Hospital and Scented Candle Emporium.

Some folks still make me laugh. I love the guys who call and ask how long it will take to get a DPMS AR10 custom with cryo barrel chambered in .267 Huffalump Magnum.  They get offened when I tell them that I have no earthly idea. Why, yes sir, I’m sure DPMS is just cranking those out in a time when people are selling their organs and children to get a shot at a rusty Kel-Tec SU16 that’s missing its bolt carrier.

People have been calling me, wondering if I have heard anything about their particular backorder. The one problem with that is that I’m now to the point where I’ve got literal tons of stuff on backorder. And the wholesalers and manufacturers are so busy scrambling that they haven’t taken the time to update me on your one particular gun.

I’m hiding in my office for ten minutes while I type this and suck down a beef chimichunga, just waiting for the guys to notice I’m missing and start sending me more phone calls. If you’ve sent me an e-mail, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to check them for a couple of days. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, which right now is looking like probably January…  2012… When we swear in Sarah Palin.

Barack Obama, historic win, blah blah blah.

It was a historic win all right. Over half of America decided to elect a Marxist to be the leader of our country. We picked a dude who probably couldn’t pass a background check for a secret security clearance because of his friends, associates, and dealings.  Our new president has squat experience and the only legislative thing he’s ever taken a stand on was infanticide.  He’s unqualified, unprincipled, morally bankrupt, and now he’s in charge.

I’m mad.

I’m mad at the American people. How stupid are we? Just how badly do you want to rob your neighbors? If the economy is in the crapper, why in the hell would you pick more democrats to run stuff?

I’m mad at the media. We had a full on Soviet style propaganda machine for the last year pushing Obama. People are stupid, and ate it up.  Most of the Obama supporters I talked to had zero idea what he actually said he was in favor of.  People were uneducated and stupid.  Obama was treated like a rockstar, and over half of America fell for the BS.  Don’t worry, once the democrat super majority pushes through a new Fairness Doctrine, they’ll crush talk radio and the internet, then they can have an information stranglehold that Stalin would have been proud of.

I’m mad at George Bush. How bad do you have to suck to get this kind of payback?  I’m mad at the republicans. This is what you get for abandoning your roots. Screw you. Idiots. When we had the bailout you should have listened to Newt Gingrich instead of trying to out-socialist the other side.

I’m really mad at John McCain. That’s what we get for picking a moderate democrat to be our nominee. I said it at the time, and I was right then. McCain ran as a wishy-washy middle of the road democrat, until the last month when he decided to try and be an actual conservative republican, but by then it was too late.  Why vote for Democrat Lite when you can vote for the Socialist Buffet?

I keep hearing idiots talk about how it is the economy. If McCain had gone against the Bailout then things could have been different, but he was just the same, (i.e. crappy) as all the other parasites up there.

Nancy Pelosi is now going to set the agenda. Yes, that lunatic gets to steer the country, and she’s got a president who’ll sign her crazy laws. You haven’t seen anything yet.

I predict the first order of business will be socialized medicine. We will see the wholesale destruction of the greatest medical care in the world.  You think the economy is bad now? Wait until the government takes over another giant chunk of it.  Medical care will degrade, that’s an absolute promise.

We will have more gun control. Yes, it is electoral suicide in a few years, but Nancy and Harry were already talking about how they’ve got a clear mandate for CHANGE so they can do all sorts of nifty stuff.  Nancy’s a true believer, she’s got the votes, so there will be more gun control. Period.

Yes, we got the Heller Decision. But that doesn’t mean they won’t pass something and then worry about the legislative challenges until after the entire US gun industry has been destroyed. 

Taxes will go up. Because democrats are too stupid to pay attention to basic economics. When taxes go up, it hurts EVERYTHING.  Oh well, ya’ll asked for it. Punish those darn rich people who actually employ people and run companies. Because guess what suckers?  They’re going to pass the cost onto somebody.

Joe Biden told us that Barack will be face a major test right off the bat. No duh. He’s weak. Predators know he’s weak.  Expect people like Putin and Chavez to use this opportunity to smack America in the face and grow their influence. Iran is having a friggin’ party right now.

On that note, how in the hell can the Jewish vote have gone to Barack? This man is supported by Hezbolla and Hamas for a reason.  But while I’m on hypocrits, how can Teddy Kennedy support the man who’s political mentor dedicated his book to Sirhan Sirhan?  I guess it is all about expediency.

Expect more energy problems. We’ve learned in the last week just how they feel about coal. Until they invent a turbine you can run with good feelings or positive karma, the democrat’s energy policy will be shit.  We’ll gut our economy to sacrifce at the altar of the Prophet Al Gore.

All of the ageing liberal supreme court justices will retire now, so that Barack can replace them with 3 twenty-year old Ruth Bader Ginsbergs.  Regardless of his crappy presidency, we’ll be dealing with that legacy FOREVER.

The only good thing that may come from this is that the republcans might be forced to grow a pair. They abandoned their morals in order to be just like the democrats, and they paid for it.  We need leaders. We need people with actual morals and a concrete philosophy.  We need our party to step up and quit being more of the same.

I’ve been rather busy, http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=357563&altf=Mbssz1&altl=Dpssfjb

On day one I’m abolishing HUD, the Department of Education, the BATF, and getting rid of the Capital Gains tax. And that’s just before lunch. After lunch I’m going to call Barack Obama and give him until sundown to give INS a birth certificate or I’m deporting his illegal ass back to Kenya. 

Seriously though, I need to blog about a bunch of stuff, but have been too busy with real life. Apparently everyone in America who’s ever thought about purchasing a gun is doing so between now and Tuesday. I’ve sold just about every evil black rifle we’ve had in stock and am scrambling to find more.  It has been CRAZY.

I was just interviewed for a friend’s top-secret security clearance as a reference. I’m willing to bet that if my friend’s house had been purchased by a convicted rackateer in exchange for legislative favors, hung out with domestic terrorists, had publically been chummy with a Hezbolla supporter, publically expoused Marxist philosophy, had sat on the board of an organization that was involved in massive voter fraud, and couldn’t even prove that he was born here, my poor buddy wouldn’t be able to get a simple security clearance… let alone run for friggin’ president. 

Sigh…

I hope to write something tomorrow. Lawdog put me up for a Superior Scribbler link, which is cool, because he is the ‘DAWG, and one of the best writer’s I’ve ever known. Plus I need to review such awesome movies as Feast II (save your money, seriously, especially if you liked the first one, this one really sucked) and Trailer Park of Terror (actually really good, and Trace Adkins makes a very believable Satan for some reason).  I need to talk about Dan Cooper of Cooper Rifles,  (one gun company exec endorses Obama so it makes headlines, as opposed to the 9000 others that endorsed McCain, the 1000 that endorsed Barr, and 50 or so of us who endorsed Cthulu), before his company said “oh snap” and fired his trash.  Chicago PD is getting ready for a mega-riot, whether Obama wins in celebration, or loses in frustration, which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about the jackasses that support him. 

So we’ve got a couple of days left to find out if 49% of Americans (and 2% of fabricated Acornians) are as stupid about political history as the media wants me to believe they are… Here goes nothing.

I know that these things are always in demand. 8 Spartans came in today. MHN price $585 + shipping to your dealer.  If you want one, call 801-571-1160.

We also got our first 4 GP6 pistols. WAY NICE. I’m not easily gee-whized, but this is a nice little gun. For a double action, the trigger is nice, and the reset is the shortest thing I’ve seen outside of the Sig SRT. I got 4 of those, but looks like one of the Minions might be taking one home, and I asked Denny at SWAT if he wants one written up, and if he does, I’ll take another one.  These are $600.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083629/

Okay, this was on IFC the other night, and I had never heard of it. The last time I watched a horror movie on IFC was the deplorable Wendigo, which was possibly one of the lamest things I’ve ever sat through.

The Beast Within starts in the 1960s where a newlywed couple breaks down in the middle of nowhere Mississippi. The husband goes for help and the wife is raped by some sort of creature. Nasty and right to the point, like most 80’s monster movies. 

Then the movie skips ahead 17 years to where her son is going through all sorts of medical problems and he start mutating into someting weird and eating people.

There is a really complicated plot, and none of it really makes a lot of sense. I mean, I understood what was going on, but people would do things, and I was like “huh? Okay, whatever, go kill some more hillbillies.” 

Spolier alert, let me break down the plot. Basically the boy is possessed by the spirit of the man-monster who raped his mom, said man-monster is half man, half ciccada, and apparently the monster (named Billy) became a monster because he was cheating with the undertaker’s wife, and then was kept locked in the celler and fed stolen corpses.  It is a little know fact that eating corpses causes rapid mutation into ciccada monsters.  So 17 years ago, Billy escaped and went out for a little swamp loving, then he died. Now the new monster (forgot his name) is killing all the corrupt officials who covered up Billy’s fate the first time.

But wait, there’s more… So the new monster (named Michael, thanks IMDB!) is out killing people, and for whatever reason the sheriff can’t seem to figure out that it is the kid, and the kid’s dad just starts inviting himself along during the murder investiagtions (I’ve been on ride alongs, but my local cops won’t let me go from murder scene to murder scene, go figure) where all the various conspirators are being killed.

Then Michael has a pretty cool transformation scene where his tongue pops out and his head swells up like a balloon and he turns into Mancicadda and goes on a killing-spree.  A bunch of people sit and watch him mutate for like five minutes, and one of them has a shotgun, and still doesn’t do anything until it is too late. I don’t know about you guys, but if I’m ever anywhere and somebody starts mutating, I’m going to shoot them until I run out of ammo, and then find something to set them on fire with, but that’s just how I roll.

The last 30 minutes of this movie are actually big 80’s monster movie goodness. Michael kills the rest of conspirators, the plot is explained (kinda), and there is an above average decapitation scene. Then Michael the Mancicadda rapes his girlfriend (apparently girls in this part of Mississippi have a bad habit of fainting under pressure, kind of like those fainting goats) and impregnates her for The Beast Within 2.  

Now for those of you that read this blog when I get political, you know I’m pro-life, but I will take a stand that if you have been impregnated by a giant-insect-homicidal-man-beast-ghost-thing, then in that specific instance, abortion is like, totally cool. 

Overall, the plot didn’t make any sense, the acting was okay at best, and it really was totally cheesy, which means that of course I really liked it.  I lived in the south for a few years. I love Mississippi. I love horror movies set in the south. Hence, MHI being set in the south. Horror is better with a southern accent. It has a certain cool factor. 

Most horror movies for whatever reason are set in southern California.  Probably because the Hollywood people don’t like to travel out to the scary flyover areas. So even when they have something that is supposedly set someplace else, it still looks suspiciously like California.  I hate California.  Lived there most of my life. You could have a rampaging Manciccada in L.A. and nobody would notice, just more dead people to throw on the big pile of other murder victims, then you couldn’t even kill it because the ACLU would stop you because you’re violating the rights of mutants to rape freely, and PETA would protest cruelty to insects, or something. 

The whole Southern Gothic vibe makes for a better movie, even when the movie is only okay, the southern vibe makes it cooler.  The scariest place I’ve ever been is still in one really weird little swamp in Mississippi.

Overall, The Beast Within was fun. IFC has redeemed itself from the stench of Wendigo!