http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/obama_analysis

Let me give you the very first line.

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama gave America the audacity to hope again.

I really can’t make stuff like that up. I mean, seriously, who writes this crap? Oh yeah, the AP. Those are the words of an actual professional journalist type person. The AP then continues to perform unnatural sex acts on Obama:

After describing the U.S. economy in nearly apocalyptic terms for weeks, pushing his $787 billion stimulus plan through Congress, the president used his address to Congress on Tuesday night to tap the deep well of American optimism — the never-say-die spirit that every president tries to capture in words. And great presidents embody.

Just… wow… So, by dragging the economy down, screwing the DOW an extra 2,000 points since he got elected, and then tripling our national debt (all in a month) he FINALLY taps into our optimism. I’m optimistic that Harry Reid’s gonna be riding a bullet train to Disneyland before I feel optomistic about my nation hoisting the hammer and sickle. Apparently he has now reached the status of one of the Great Ones.  

“We will rebuild. We will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before,” Obama said, echoing Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan.

Do they get tired of comparing this dork to other famous people? At least they didn’t add ‘and Jesus, don’t forget, he’s just like Jesus!’ to the end of it. To be fair to the AP, he does echo Roosevelt, since he managed to take an economic downturn and make it last five times longer than it would have by having the government screw around with stuff. 

“The answers to our problems don’t lie beyond our reach,” Obama said. “What is required now is for this country is to pull together, confront boldly the challenges we face, and take responsibility for our future once more.”

Yeah, we need to take responsibility for our futures, like buying houses we can afford, or letting companies that deserve to fail go down, or not tying a noose of debt around our grandkid’s necks, or not tripling the national debt in the largest spending bill ever for stuff that isn’t stimulus in the loosest sense ever and we don’t actually need…

Read the article, and weep for the future.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0996979/

Now this is how a low budget movie should be made. Alien Raiders was absolutely great.

A supermarket in a small Arizona town is taken over by a bunch of gunmen. A hostage situation results, only the gunmen aren’t there to rob the place, they’re hunting space aliens. 

Shot entirely in one location, a grocery store, and populated by a bunch of actors you’ve never seen before, with a really basic plot, you wouldn’t expect much from this flick, but it takes that one location, and absolutely milks it. It takes that basic plot and uses a bunch of little touches to make it memorable and smart. The acting was pretty dang good, across the board.

Okay, I take it back about actors you’ve never seen before. I just checked IMDB. I’ve just never followed 24 or Prison Break. I’ve seen probably five episodes of 24 over 7 years, and I’ve never actually watched Prison Break, so I guess that there are some actors that have done stuff.

The end is a little predictable, but it doesn’t matter, because the ride to get there was worth it.  The mutated alien isn’t anything special, but they use effective shakey cam and lighting to keep the alien menacing.

It was really the little thoughtful touches that made this movie great. I don’t want to give anything away, but it is what they do for the people after their alien test that is my favorite part, because you might as well be nice and professional to the people you’re having to torment.  The ice buckets and the medic’s hand are just good writing.

Go get it. This is the best B Movie I’ve seen lately.

There are three Feast movies. The first one was one of the most interesting, original, and just plain enjoyable monster movies I’ve ever seen.

Then came Feast II. I had high hopes. Instead it was probably one of the worst movies ever, and longtime readers know the kind of crap that I seek out. It lacked the original’s humor and scares, and instead tried to replace it with just being obnoxiously gross. And instead it was just plain stupid.

I read an interview with the director where he blamed the audience for not being ‘man’ enough to get his awesome vision, because he was so hardcore. It was like reading an interview from L.H. Franzibald, and I was waiting for him to start whipping the reporter from Fangoria.

Sorry, as an artist, if the audience doesn’t get your art, that’s your fault, not the audience. That lame college art department BS doesn’t fly in real life. I’ve watched probably 1,000 horror, monster, or low budget movies at this point of my life, and even I thought it sucked.

Feast III just came out, and I wasn’t even going to rent it because of the sheer awfulness that was II. But a reviewer that I normally trust said that it redeemed the franchise, and that it was as good as the first one. (thanks a lot, Bloody Disgusting) So I watched it last night.

Okay, III was far better than II, which is strange since they were filmed at the same time. It has moments of real brilliance, like the strobe/stop motion scenes. Gulager still likes to think he’s really clever by randomly killing people, a schitck that gets old after awhile. But overall it is better than II in almost every way, and just when you get to the end, and you think that ‘woo hoo! All right, this series has been redeemed’—

SPOILER ALERT

The last few characters are stepped on by a giant robot. A giant friggin’ robot… And no, there were no robots in this series at all up to that point. Then a mariachi shows up and sings.

That’s it. No resolution. No story. No plot. No anything that makes sense. This was even more insulting than Werewolf: The Devil’s Hound when random space aliens show up at the end.

That’s just lazy writing.  

Apparently as payback for the passage of California’s Prop 8, homosexual protestors are going to harrass the bi-annual LDS general conference in Salt Lake City. The gay rights people are saying that they’re going to bring 200,000 people, which means they’ll get a couple thousand that the national news will then turn into 200,000. Kind of like the five thousand mom= Million Mom March.

The SLCPD is going through extra riot training. They’re really excited about having the opportunity to baton some drag queens. If we’re really lucky, the professional protestor class from Seattle will show up and start tossing Molotovs. Ironically though, this is Utah, not Hippieland, so that should prove really interesting. 

I could really care less about anyone’s sexual orientation, man, women, sheep, invertibras, farm machinery, whatever, but when you start harrassing people in my hometown, then that just ain’t cool.

I heard they’re going to be bussing militant homosexuals from the San Francisco area out to SLC.  I think this is an awsome idea. I know my father in law reads this blog, so I’ve got a suggestion. He lives out in the San Fran area. I think you and the MIL should jump on a Big Gay Protest Bus and get a free ride out here for conference weekend. Think of the money you could save on gas!

EDIT: I have no idea if this story is even true. I got this second hand.

I went shooting with Nightcrawler on Friday. I’ve got two guns that I’m reviewing for SWAT. One I just picked up, the other I’ve been playing with for awhile. I’m about done with the DSA AR, and just need to get a few more detail shots. It is one nice gun. This was the first time I got to really play with the GP6, and holy crap it is fast. It has the best factory production trigger of any double action I have ever felt, period, and that is on a $600 polymer gun. I’ve felt better double action triggers on tuned customs, like Ernie Langdon Sigs, things like that, but on a production polymer gun? This thing is amazing.

Mike takes great photos too. Check out how pretty Utah is. The 16″ is the DSA. I’ve got a Millet 1-4X on it.

The big AR in the glamour shot is my DMR/coyote gun. It is an old Rock River 20″, from back when they gave a damn. It is also the single most accurate gun I own.