Our Semi Annual Reminder Why Mike Glyer of File 770 Is A Total Scumbag

Oh look, it must be time for our semiannual reminder that Mike Glyer needs to keep my name out of his whore mouth.

Some of you might not know who Mike Glyer is, and if that’s the case you are the real winners.

To be fair though, it is pretty easy to go through life having never heard of this wretched slug of a man, since he’s never actually created anything of worth in his entire miserable existence, but he does run a shitty gossip column website called File 770 which is supposedly about sci-fi/fantasy publishing, where he tears down people who actually create things. His target audience is basement dwelling losers, social justice warriors, and bitter failed/wannabe fiction writers. That’s the nominal humans at least. In reality 97% of his much bragged upon internet traffic came from Chinese bot farms, and this motherfucker was actually dumb enough to post the screenshots proving his own traffic was fake while attempting to brag about it.

So yeah, we’re talking epic stupid here.

Several years ago this gigantic anal polyp fixated on me, because I refused to bend the knee to traditional left-wing establishment publishing (as all “proper” authors were supposed to do) and I had the audacity to demonstrate that their awards were politically biased bullshit. Hilarity ensued.

Anyways, that was a long time ago and everybody else involved has since moved on with their life. But sadly, Mike Glyer has no life. He has a soggy waifu pillow covered in bacterial cultures and a terribly shitty website. Whenever he gets desperate for attention, he’ll cut and paste something out of context from my blog, make up some passive aggressive reality-challenged bullshit, and then whine like a little bitch when I inevitably respond.

Remember when you were a kid, and there was that one dumb ass bully who would pick on people, until somebody socked him in the mouth, and then he’d run to the teachers whining about how he’s the real victim? Yeah… Sadly, Glyer never grew out of it. Mentally, I mean. Physically the dude looks like a rotting sperm whale carcass washed up on a beach.

As a public service, I’m the guy who sticks dynamite in the whale (That’s such a classic video).

Don’t be fooled by his tears of gravy. Glyer is no victim. The real victims are the hard-working writers he lies about for rage clicks (I’m basically immune to internet lynch mobs, but less established authors are not).  The thing is, if he doesn’t want me to beat him like the world’s fattest pinata, all he has to do is keep my name out of his whore mouth. It’s simple really.

So I’ll make fun of him. My fans have a good time. And then after a few days of weeping gravy from his blubberous eye creases, China Mike will realize thousands of people are laughing at him, and then he’ll skulk away… Usually for about six months, because that’s about how long Glyer’s early onset dementia takes for him to forget about his last public ass kicking.

Which brings us to today, when I saw this screen cap posted to the Monster Hunter International: Hunters Unite fan page on facebook.

 

 

I posted: what a skeezy, two-faced, snide little bitch of a man Glyer is though. He takes something that was obviously a funny compliment and cancerously twists it into me insulting Brad (and he conveniently cuts out the line right before it where I praise Brad’s talent and say why I think he was a great choice)

And if I respond to this whore slug colostomy bag of a shit heel scum leech in public, he’ll feign innocence, claim he said nothing insulting, and whine about being the victim.

It’s basically typical Glyer sophistry, selectively quoting my last blog post. Note how he cuts off the first part of the paragraph, where I said: This year my friend Brad Torgersen was the writer guest of honor, which was pretty fun to watch. He’s earned it. He’s extremely talented, has supported LTUE for a decade, and he just won a Dragon Award. 

So I very clearly articulated why I though Brad was a fitting Guest of Honor for this convention.

And then see how this bipedal form of herpes sticks in his little passive aggressive bit at the end, so that what was clearly meant as a compliment to Brad actually means that I was trying to belittle my friend.

Only this dumbfuck can’t even get his snide jabs right. We weren’t dogs. We were the people campaigning to end Puppy Related Sadness. The name just stuck. But Glyer’s just fractally inept. Like you drill down on one of his fuck ups, and you find that it is made up of millions of tiny fuck ups. I wasn’t zinging Brad. I was genuinely happy for him.

Seriously though, anybody who can get a bunch of fifty year old high school mean girls to disinvite themselves from an event, so the rest of the attendees don’t have to listen to them screech and reeeee and suck all the light, joy, and happiness out of the universe, IS DOING THE LORD’S WORK.

So in case I wasn’t clear enough for the dimwitted dregs of File 666, I’ll slow it way down so they can keep up. BRAD DO GOOD. YAY. Now shut up and eat your paste, losers.

But anyways, as you can see, typical Glyer. He’s too much of a spineless chickenshit to ever actually come out and insult anyone (until you get him good and riled up, like you can see in some of the links below where I agitated him until he totally lost his shit). Instead he’ll do that fake civility nonsense, where it’s okay for the lefty to open with all sorts of insults and accusations as long as it’s worded in a sufficiently nebulous manner, and the instant anybody responds with honesty like a rational human being should, he’ll whine about “tone” and “civility”. You know, the usual.

He always calls me “vulgar” after these exchanges, but I take that as a compliment, because I’d rather be blunt and clear, rather than a mealy-mouthed, disingenuous, gossip mongering, back-stabbing, tax collecting, worm tongued, fucking parasite.

Oh, and he is the very definition of a parasite. He makes nothing. He’s just latched his slobbery bung hole onto the publishing business and coasted along… That worked so well for him for so long that writers even started making the mistake that his dumb ass opinion mattered, and that his sabotage could actually harm them. Turns out not really. Because like most parasites, all he does is suck.

I’m not exaggerating how badly this guy fails at everything.  If Glyer decided to go all Bernie Bro and drive through a Republican voter registration tent, he’d get his mobility scooter high centered.

So when I saw this screen shot posted to my fan page, I faced a dilemma. I am bound by honor and the Code of The Manatee to respond… However, Glyer’s lame and I’ve got books to write. So I asked my daughter if she thought I should write this blog post. She said “No, dad, beating up Mike Glyer is animal abuse.” Which is a valid point, only I don’t know if technically a sea cucumber counts as an “animal”. So then I asked The Lovely Mrs. Correia, and she said, “You already wasted all your productive time today arguing with communists, you might as well have fun.”

Truly, she is a wise woman.

Then I tagged Brad, and wrote this:
“Hey Brad Torgersen is it worth me reminding him in public that he is supposed to keep my name out of his whore mouth? Or will that just cause annoyance for you?”

Brad responded:
Fire for effect, Lar. Fire for effect. Personally? I find it absolutely hilarious that Glyer needs to keep poking at Sad Puppies ALL THESE YEARS LATER for the sake of relevance.
Like, damn, he needs a new hobby!

Meanwhile, I have my Niven Dragon, which is worth more than all of Glyer’s shiny marital devices combined

Well there have it, and now this blog post exists.

I’ve had the occasional nice, merciful person think I’m too hard on Glyer… until they read up on his past history, and then they too want to put up a Glyer proof fence around their house. If you would like more examples of Glyer’s shifty, malicious fucking over of various authors, check out the following links. (plus, I put some pretty good insults in some of these!):

https://monsterhunternation.com/2019/09/16/another-example-why-i-think-mike-glyer-is-a-simpering-feculent-and-his-shitty-gossip-column-website-file-770-is-the-prolapsed-anus-of-fandom/

https://monsterhunternation.com/2019/08/15/the-super-dumbness-continues-mike-glyer-edition/

https://monsterhunternation.com/2019/01/13/mike-glyer-is-a-scumbag-part-ii-an-opinion-piece/

https://monsterhunternation.com/2018/05/01/further-examples-of-why-in-my-opinion-mike-glyer-is-a-scumbag-and-file-770-is-evil/

https://monsterhunternation.com/2017/06/13/a-monster-hunter-nation-opinion-piece-mike-glyer-is-a-scumbag/

And the thing is, that’s not even a fraction of his transgressions. This piece of flaming dogshit lives to fuck over careers. If dueling were still legal someone would have spilled his gravy a long time ago.

From my multitude of encounters with this semi-mobile Lilypad, I know that tomorrow he will either post another sanctimonious whinefest about how mean and vulgar I am, or he’ll slink back to this fungus cave to shove hamsters up his ass or whatever it is he does for the next six months until he gets up the gumption to post more dumb shit about me. Here’s hoping for the six month break.

Man, this business really needs like a groundhog or something, so if the groundhog sees his shadow, we won’t appear on Glyer’s bumblefuck website for a season. But if the groundhog doesn’t see its shadow, China Mike will be making up weird shit about us again tomorrow. That would be super handy, because then I could schedule my blog posts in advance. Because unlike Mike Glyer, I have a job.

EDIT: as an added bonus, here is an example of just how incredibly ignorant, yet bafflingly smug Glyer’s target audience is:


This particular brainiac is all like DERP DERP I hAvEn’T HeArD Of iT! DEEEEEEEERP.

Yeah… Well dumb ass, that says a whole lot more about how ignorant you are, than the quality of the event, because some of the most successful writers in the country, both left and right, have been attending for decades, and praising it as one of the best writing conventions in the country.

I saw Brandon Sanderson, who sells Stephen King levels of books, on Saturday. Great guy. Too bad he didn’t know he was wasting his time at something that wasn’t a *real* writing conference.  Also got to hang out with L.E. Modesitt, who is an amazing man.

Ironically enough, SFWA president, and icon of tolerance, Mary Robinette Kowal was LTUE toast master, attended for many years, and praised the event, up until she recently all of a sudden discovered that it was a bastion of hateful hatemongery and started to trash it. And several other regular attendees decided to boycott too.

Literally nobody missed them. 😀

But then again, there were a ton of other people there. Which isn’t too shabby for an event Random Anonymous Internet Asshole #9876428 has never heard of before!

And you might be wondering why I have this screen cap? Well that’s because my fans learned the hard way a while back to always screen cap the dumb, mockable File 770 comments, because when somebody says something really embarrassing or awful, Glyer will hurry and delete those, and then gas light the people who saw them by claiming those posts never existed. He’s classy like that.

February Update Post

Yes, I know. It’s been over a month since my last blog post, but I’ve been kinda busy.

Appearances

 

I will be a guest at TupeloCon in Mississippi in a few weeks.

At the end of March I will be at FantaSci in North Carolina. 

If you are anywhere in the area, stop on by. It should be fun.

LTUE was last week. For those of you not familiar with that, it’s a writing conference held every Valentine’s Day weekend in Provo Utah. I think this was my 11th year in a row. It’s probably the single best writing con there is (that doesn’t cost a bunch of money, LTUE is like $20 or something to attend for 3 days).

LTUE is focused more on writers trying to get better at writing, than fannish stuff, though there is that too. I was on a bunch of panels on various topics.  I did a two hour solo presentation on crunchy business stuff for writers, like contracts, taxes, incorporation, advertising, scheduling, etc. It was basically the When Can I Quit My Day Job class for writers who have figured out how to sell their work, but now what?  Then I did the Larry Show kaffeeklatsch thing, and then since Tony Daniel had to leave early to take care of a sick kid, I took over his presentation on contracts (which I’d just touched on earlier that day, and now got to spend an hour on things like advances, royalties, remainders, sub rights, foreign translations, audio, reversion of rights, and what to look out for from crappy predator contracts). So Saturday was 4 straight hours of me talking.

I did a reading on Thursday, of the first half of the story I did for Laurell K. Hamilton’s Fantastic Hope anthology coming out in April. Judging by audience reaction, it’s actually pretty funny.  Good! Because I think I’m hilarious when I’m making this crap up, but I can’t tell until you guys actually see it!

This year my friend Brad Torgersen was the writer guest of honor, which was pretty fun to watch. He’s earned it. He’s extremely talented, has supported LTUE for a decade, and he just won a Dragon Award. The very best part of Brad being GoH however was that it caused several of the Shrieking Harpies of Tolerance to throw a temper tantrum and declare that they were going to boycott the event (and they did, yet absolutely nobody missed them). Upon hearing that I asked if they could make Brad emeritus GoH every year forever, because that’s like putting a tick collar on a dog.

From what I heard on Saturday, this was the biggest LTUE there’s ever been, with a record number of attendees.

Writing Stuff 

Last year was a busy year, with Monster Hunter Guardian, Target Rich Environment, and Tom Stranger 3.  (and Dead Six was rereleased as an Omnibus!)

This year my big release is in October, because that’s when Destroyer of Worlds comes out.  Originally the Saga of the Forgotten Warrior was pitched as 3 books, but when I told Toni the story I had planned, she’d laughed and said there was no way that would fit in a trilogy. She’s right. It’ll probably be 5 or 6.

I’ve also got a bunch of shorts in various places this year, but I’ll post about each of those when they get closer and I’ll put up preorder links.

I didn’t get as much writing done in 2019 as I normally would, but that was because of the epic house building/moving project.  It turns out that developing a big chunk of mountainside in the middle of nowhere and then building a really big house on it is time consuming. Since that’s been wrapped productivity is back at normal levels. (I’ve averaged about 2 books and change a year for ten years now)

Right now I am working on a sci-fi collaboration with John D. Brown. This is the one that was originally brain stormed live on an LTUE panel years ago, based on ideas given to us by my (at the time) 11 year old son. I’m hoping to have it wrapped in March.

After that I will either be working on the next main series MHI novel (back to Owen’s perspective) OR the first book of the next Grimnoir trilogy. I’ve got them both planned, so it’ll just depend on what makes more sense to get out to the fans sooner.

 

 

Gunpowder & Embers out today

This isn’t an official Book Bomb just because I’ve not had a chance to read it yet, but I thought you guys would like to know that this book is out today.

This is the story that I talked about back when I was a newbie writer that I was going to collaborate with John Ringo to write.  We started working on the outline, but then both of us just kept turning out our own novels, and during that time period my career kind of blew up and my own series took off, so this project just kept getting back burnered. Years later the contract we had for a collaboration with Baen got turned into Monster Hunter Grunge instead.

But John had a really good idea with this world, so he enlisted two up and coming authors to collaborate with instead. I know Kacey and Chris and they’re both awesome. Kacey was my co-editor on Noir Fatale (which came out amazing, because she did fantastic work) and Chris was one of the authors (the very first opening story in fact, with Michael Ferguson, which was great).

Kacey is an Air Force helicopter pilot by day and has a couple novels out, one of which has been nominated for a Dragon Award (which is a pretty big deal),  Chris is beer expert out of Texas, and all around great guy. The two of them have collaborated on several projects already, and they’re both very talented.

I got my copy already, but I’ve not had a chance to read it yet. I’m really excited to see what they’ve done with this idea.

December Update Post

This update is going to be late and short!

Book Stuff

Target Rich Environment 2 is out now in stores everywhere, and #1 In Customer Service (Tom Stranger 3) is available on Audible.com.

I finished Destroyer of Worlds (book 3 in the Saga of the Forgotten Warrior) and sent that off to my publisher on Friday. It came out awesome.

Next up is the untitled sci-fi collaboration with author John D. Brown. This is the one where we plotted the whole novel on the fly during an LTUE panel on how to create plots, and all the basic ideas were given to us by my (at the time) 11 year old son.

We cleaned up the plot and characters we came up with during that 2 hour panel and made an actual outline and world building. John wrote the rough draft and has been waiting for the last five months for me to catch up with all my other deadlines (building a house and moving really screws up your writing schedule). Now it is my turn to work on it.

It’s a whole new universe for me and the first time I’ve done straight up sci-fi. It’s action adventure about smugglers stealing giant robots and fighting monsters with them.  I think you guys are going to love it.

Personal Stuff

And now I am going to try and avoid the internet as much as possible from now until New Years.

Merry Christmas!