This Week’s Episode of The Facebook Hunter: The Common Internet Shit Gibbon

Jack compiled this post a while back… I can’t imagine why I keep getting kicked off that stupid website.  Jack just copied over my comments, but you’ll get the idea. After the screen caps I’ll explain how to spot Common Internet Shit Gibbons in the Wild

Hey all- Jack Wylder here.
Although we all know Larry’s opinion of the Book of Faces, he nevertheless manages to make it more tolerable for all of us. It’s become more and more obvious, though, that we need to take anything worth taking with us and bring it HERE. Recently Larry was on a friend’s page and decided to have a bit of fun. As soon as I saw it, I knew it needed to be preserved for posterity. (Note: I didn’t bother capturing the posts of the mockee because no one cares what the pinata has to say…) So for your enjoyment, CorreiaTech is proud to present the latest episode of Larry Correia- the Facebook Hunter. Today’s episode: the Common Internet Shit Gibbon….


This is Larry again. The CISG’s posts didn’t get copied over, but the specifics and even the topic don’t really matter. I got this dude super riled up.  He about lost his mind and went on a 48 hour posting rampage. It was hilarious. 😀 

You ever post something on social media, and then have some random stranger blunder in screaming at you for wrongthink? You might have attracted a Common Internet Shit Gibbon. You can tell when you are dealing with a Common Internet Shit Gibbon by the following clues:

– They start out by being total dicks to everyone, attack, attack, attack, but when responded to in kind, demand civility and whine about “tone”.

– They just make shit up and throw it at the wall to see what sticks.

– They are really pathetic, but oblivious to it. In fact, they think they’re brilliant, even while being super dumb. 

– When you waste you time refuting any of their bullshit, they immediately create new bullshit. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Their bullshit is endless. Your time is not. 

So when you discover that you’ve got a CISG infestation, the best bet is to just mock them until you get bored, and then block them. Or you can call THE INTERNET HUNTER. (actually, don’t  tag me. I don’t have time, and I’m probably in Facebook jail anyway) 

Sign up for my mailing list

If you look over to the left there’s a place to sign up for my blog’s mailing list, so you’ll get a notification when I post here. I’ve never really pushed this, but since the place I reach the most of my fans is Facebook and they keep banning me for goofy reasons, I’ll be posting here more.

Facebook is garbage, but since it’s the place where the most people congregate, it’s forced all the content creators to cater to it, because its the best way to reach our audience. Problem is, any random dumb ass can effectively silence anyone they don’t like, just by reporting everything to the dumb bots.

If I could get most of the people who follow me on Facebook to sign up over here, then I’d never have to go back, which would be amazing.

So if you guys who are seeing this know any other fans, please pass that on. Also, please keep sharing my posts on social media.  Thank you. I really appreciate it.

I’m out of Facebook jail… and immediately banned again

So my sentence was over last night. I went to post. Nope. Caught another ban. For a week this time, and I don’t even know what for. 😀

So that’s another week off of wannabe junior Orwellian tree house club. It’s kind of sad that if you want to silence somebody, all you have to do is go through and report all their posts, then let the bots do the rest.

But from being able to read the place, I’m not missing very many quality discussions. Right now it’s mostly hysterical people virtue signalling about how they were more hysterical earlier, while spiking the Dunning-Kruger graph about complex subjects they first heard about this month.

I do miss posting mini painting pics though.

Back on FB in 2 Days. Probably Shouldn’t Bother, Because It’s Really Stupid In There

My time in FB jail is over in a couple of days,  but I don’t know if it’s worth posting in gen pop again. I’d be too tempted to just waste my time pointlessly yelling at stupid people.

I can still read FB, and I have been, mostly to keep up on what’s going on in this time of lockdowns and weirdness. Except the vast majority of the information is crap, and far too many of the people posting have their heads shoved up their asses.

Being able to read but not participate has been interesting, in that it’s given me a chance to observe without getting involved. My take away over the last few months is that most people are cool, and just want to handle their business, and they worry about their families, their country, and their world, but there is a percentage of vampire assholes who just basically suck, and need everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

I’ve mentioned this a few times over recent weeks, but the people who have nothing in their lives outside of political team sports are the worst. Well, actually no. The media is the worst. The people who feed the click bait vultures are second worst.

Take for example, quite literally any news story recently. First off, it’s going to be factually incorrect. Across the board, these people really suck at their jobs–assuming their job is to convey good info (which let’s be honest, it’s not). But then in addition to being error ridden gibberish, it’s also got to be twisted to serve whatever their partisan hack team is. And they’re not even subtle about it. This pandemic is the worst I’ve ever seen the media at being out right, ham-fisted, clowns at twisting. It’s painful to watch.

So there’s a headline. “Politician/CEO/Celebrity From The Other Team Says Something Horrific!” And then I see dozens of otherwise intelligent people read that headline, and have a massive come apart freak out about what a horrible monster bad person that guy is. So then I actually read what he said, or watch the video, and of course, it’s nothing at all like the headline twisted it to be. In fact, what was actually said is quite different than the headline.

Of course, as I describe that situation, each of you thought of a different actual event, and guess what? You’re all right. Because they do this for quite literally everything now.

And each time, there’s a bunch of virtue signalling half-wits in the comments screaming about how outraged they are. For every ten virtue signalers, there’s one person who actually watched the interview saying “but that’s not what he said at all”, and then the rest of the thread is that person getting screeched at.  How dare you defend this horrible crime that guy committed in my imagination?

This stupid behavior goes both ways, but when the vast majority of our national media bats left, of course you get more of it from them. And it’s incessant, non-stop, grating, painfully dishonest, and annoying. Basically anything any republican does is the worst thing that’s ever happened, pure evil, and they want all the old people to die. Ask for a travel ban months ago, and you get decried as a racist fearmonger. Then when you get a travel ban, get screamed at that you did it too late. Say anything positive, and it’s giving false hope (that’s literally the headline). And my personal favorite, talk about a drug treatment being promising, then having the news freak out that if you take a massive overdose of that drug you’ll die (well duh), and then get blamed when some total dumb shit eats a mega dose of fish tank cleaner because it has a similarly named chemical in its list of ingredients.

Wow.

Of course, the guy who talked about the drug treatment to give people hope is responsible for the dumb ass eating fish tank cleaner, and even though the media has been scaring everyone non-stop with talks of apocalyptic doom and millions of potential deaths for the last few weeks enough that some poor dumb ass got scared enough to eat fish tank cleaner, the media bears no responsibility whatsoever.

The media is trash. They are absolute garbage people. They don’t care if you live or die, as long as they can score a few points in the process.

But watch, just by me saying this I guarantee that someone will say I’m not taking this threat seriously and I’m a science denier. On the contrary, my ass is home, socially distancing like I’m supposed to. I can recognize something is serious, without having an emotional come apart. I can also recognize that the cure for this problem might not be all it’s cracked up to be, if it puts millions of people out of work and thousands of companies out of business. I can say that without wanting people to die. It’s not one or the other. In reality, shit is complicated, uncomfortable, sucks, and there’s not a super easy, simple solution for every problem.  Sorry.

On that note, I want to amend my earlier statement about the media being the worst, and the click bait suckers being second. Let’s move the media to #2, and the morons to #3, because holy shit… Nancy… What the hell?

Yes, I already know the talking points you have been given. Blah, blah, blah, evil corporations. (what do you guys think a stimulus bill is supposed to do exactly?) I’ve already seen a hundred people who couldn’t explain what stock buybacks are, regurgitate their talking points about why the democrats needed to kill the stimulus bill because of the evils of stock buybacks.

I’m not even going to talk about whether I think the original bill is a good idea or not (I don’t. I think it’s got short term positives, and long term negatives, and I’m not particularly convinced on either). But I do at least understand what they’re going for.

However, this is not the time or place to shove a bunch of asinine pork projects. Green airline emissions? Collective bargaining? Early voting? Racial quotas? Are you fucking kidding me, you useless, fucking morons?

You want to debate sending stimulus checks to people who are currently broke, can’t go to work, and scared? Sure. But you’d better hurry. Or you want to debate giving money to companies so they can still be open in a few months? Sure. Have that debate.

But if this is the dire, apocalyptic,  millions could die crisis you keep making it out to be, is now really the fucking time to stick in funding for performing arts centers and racial quotas? You fucking gerbils disgust me.

My take away from the last few days are that the government sucks at literally everything. Anything you count on it to do for you, they will let you down, either through stupidity, corruption, or outright malice. Republicans are the stupid party and democrats are the evil party.

The FDA slowing everything down comes as absolutely no shock to anyone who has ever worked with or for the government.

However, regular Americans, when given the opportunity, will do amazing things, really fast.  Between all the stupid click bait articles are the stories of people rising to the occasion, being creative, selfless, caring, and kind. Luckily, most people are still awesome.

 

 

Hermit lockdown blog update

Today Jack bugged me that I should do a blog post, just for posterity’s sake. But I’ve got no great insight into the world right now. I’m not a doctor, none of this is my area of expertise. I’m just doing like everyone else and trying to be a hermit. Luckily for me, grumpy hermit is my default setting.

Two of my kids have jobs which are necessary and required right now though, so people can keep getting supplies, and both of them are too stubborn to quit. I worry for them.

Even with all this nasty crap going around, and people suffering, I am hopeful for the future. This will pass. Viruses come and go. The economy will get kicked hard, but it will come back. Companies will go out of business and people will lose their jobs, but new ones will start. How long? Beats me. I suppose it depends on how badly we screw up the rest of the year. On the bright side hopefully the world will learn that they don’t want to put all their economic and manufacturing eggs into one communist dictatorship basket.

I’m actually kind of glad that I’ve been kicked off of Facebook for the last few weeks, because I’d be unfriending and blocking people like crazy. There are some truly hysterical people out there, and I’m talking in both directions. These people are basically useless, and all they do is regurgitate asinine bullshit without the slightest bit of fact checking or even critical thinking.

Also, on that note, most of you don’t even understand what the words exponential or logarithmic mean, you sound like idiots, so quit pretending to be epidemiologists. You’re just embarrassing yourselves. You don’t know shit either, so quit acting smug. Sharing every click bait article that comes across your feed doesn’t make you “more serious”. It just makes you annoying.

You can’t take partial data sets of questionable accuracy from a super complex system, and extrapolate out realistic estimates of what’s going to happen in an entirely different super complex system. Some folks, that’s their actual literal job they’re trained for, and they still can’t get it right. When you, Internet Rando do this, you just sound like a dork. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know what’s going on and that you can’t predict the future.

(on that note, my hopeful paragraph above about stuff will get better… yeah… fingers crossed!)

Okay, I’m not a doctor, but I am passingly familiar with accounting, econ, business, and finance… and most of you don’t have a flipping clue what you’re talking about there either. It’s good I’m not on FB, because I could spend 8-10 hours a day just refuting the stupid memes about the stock market and bail outs (but it wouldn’t matter, because none of those people are capable of listening anyway). I’m not saying their actions were right or wrong either, I’m just saying it helps to have a clue what you’re talking about, and most of you obviously don’t have a clue what even happened at all, because what you’re describing isn’t even what happened.

On the $1000 from the government, I keep seeing dumb ass memes from the right and left saying that A. If you said Trump isn’t your president you should rip it up, or B. if you don’t like socialism, you should rip it up… well, except you’re both idiots, and since I already paid way, way, way, way more than that in taxes for the year, how about I go with C. I’ll take this tiny fraction of my money back and y’all can shut up.  And none of that is a comment on whether this program is actually a good idea or not.

Depending on how long this goes on for, it could cause some real changes in society and how we live our lives. Notice how when the chips are down a bunch of the silly rules, regulations, and unimportant BS we put up with everyday get tossed because they do nothing but get in the way? Well, that should be a hint. I just hope that we don’t replace those stupid things with all new, even more draconian ones.

You can’t call the Chinese virus Chinese because that’s RACISSSSS! Oh shut up, you useless, vapid twits.

Another thing to look at the bright side, I’ve spent most of my life getting laughed at and called paranoid by my elite urban betters about things like preparedness and having food storage… Yep… You guys sure showed us redneck bumpkins what’s up. Oh yeah, and now that the police are otherwise occupied, it turns out all that stuff you said about how easy it is to buy guns was wrong. I eagerly await your apologies after the conclusion of the slow-motion apocalypse.

Stuff’s going to get weird for a bit. Decent people are going to try to do what they think is best and help those around them. Americans are amazing people with an incredible capacity to get shit done when given the opportunity. But our assholes are going to virtue signal, lie their asses off, and try to score cheap political points, so they can hinder rather than help. In times of trial, try not to be an asshole.

Most of us are going to have to chill out for a bit. May I suggest stop freaking out on facebook and go read a book for a bit? My first one (Monster Hunter International) is available free on Amazon and Baen. Go play a video game. Learn to paint minis. Actually talk to your family members. You’re stuck, make the best of it.