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What’s In A Name?

Rescued from Larry’s page on the Book of Faces -Jack


Just a random rambling thought from a writer about our characters.

Recently I saw my work getting compared to another author, who in proper literati snooty circles, is supposed to be so much better than me (he shall go unnamed, because this isn’t really about him, I’ve got nothing against the dude, and in fact thinking about it this could apply to a whole bunch of different authors too). We’re both fairly well known, only he’s got way more “prestige” (and marketing budget!), and both of our books get mentioned on the internet a lot, but I always get dismissed as the right wing, explosions and monsters and guns, pulpy guy. The other guy is always a *real* writer.

But then I noticed something else. In all those discussions, when talking about the *real* writer, nobody, none of his fans or readers, ever mention any of his characters’ names.

Never.

Meanwhile, any discussion of my stuff, the fans and readers are talking about Owen, Jake, Faye, Ashok, etc. They name character names.

Always.  

Not only do I not see people name any of the character names from those Great Works Of Literature, I kind of doubt that very many of his fans could even remember their names if they tried.

My stuff? Fans talk about the secondary characters by name, ten or fifteen years after the book came out, like they are real people they know. Most of my readers remember names like Milo, Dorcus, Gutch, Skippy, Ed, Gretchen, Melvin, or G-Nome, or they were secondary characters at first but you guys liked them so much they turned into main characters, like Earl, Franks, or Toru. Even in my lesser known works, I still see fans mentioning names like Cleasby or Lorenzo.

When people talk about my books they’ve read, even if the subject is something else, it is always ultimately about how the characters relate to that subject. And then you guys go nuts trying to cast them, because they’re vivid in your head.

Now to be fair to George Martin, who I think is a lazy sack of sloth, he’s good at creating memorable characters. When you see his books discussed, even for those of us who only read the first one and then got bored and didn’t read the rest, we know the character names of all the main characters in the series because when his fans talk about the books, they discuss the characters. There are lots of books I’ve never read, where I can tell you at least the main character’s name (and probably some secondarys) just off of the conversations I’ve seen on the internet.

With Rothfuss, you hear his main character name a lot (Kvote or something) so I know that’s the main dude even though I’ve never read either book. Couldn’t tell you any other ones.

I couldn’t tell you a single name from any John Scalzi or NK Jemesin novel based on that same criteria, even though you see discussions about their books online.

Jim Butcher is good at this. Even if you’ve never read any of his books, everybody who is into books and online with book reading friends knows who Harry Dresden is. Now obviously naming your series after the main character is cheating. 😀 But you get you point. Even if you’ve never read Jim’s stuff, you’ve seen names like Michael Carpenter or Bob show up in fan conversations enough that even if you’ve not read the series, you’ve got the general idea.

I’ve not read many of Brandon Sanderson’s more recent books, but when I see conversations about his work, every single time, fans are naming character names. I have no idea of the context, but his fans clearly do, and they talk like those characters are people they’ve met in real life.

Steve and I have talked about this on the show, but some books aren’t really character based. They are idea based or setting based, and the characters are just kinda there so the idea can proceed. Personally I find that sort of thing boring, and the idea/setting only becomes interesting if I care about the people who inhabit it.

In the case of the online comparison that got me to thinking about this, the *real* writer’s got some GREAT VISION the book is about, but it’s populated with cardboard people the readers will forget about fifteen minutes after they’re done. While the pulp hack knuckle-dragger also has nifty ideas, but then populates it with people the reader files away in their memory as if they’re actual humans they know.

Don’t Be THAT Guy

*another one from the Book of Faces, moved here for discussion. -Jack


Pro Tip: If you see a gun discussion on the internet, and you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, just chill and read, or comment truthfully. Don’t lie, wildly exaggerate, or just make shit up… Because everybody can tell, it is super obvious, you’re not fooling anyone, and it’s just pathetic. It’s funny when it’s coming from a young dude who’s dumb and cocky, but it’s just sad from somebody old enough to know better.

This advice is because I saw a post on a friend’s page, today who is a professional gun builder and worked in the industry in various capacities for probably three decades now, and some dude was telling him about how he routinely and easily uses his Yugo AK to hit soup cans at 200 yards… with iron sights. “it’s called practice dude”.

Now, is this doable? Sure. Just not on demand repeatable, because that soup can (why is it always a soup can or soda can with these guys?) is probably less than half the size of what even an exceptional example of that gun with the best possible 7.62×39 ammo is capable of hitting on its best day, and that front sight is covering up an area about 10x the size of the target at that range.

So it’s not bloody likely, internet rando, regardless of how many tens of thousands of rounds of ammo you swear you’ve put through it, (flawlessly, of course, as all cheap guns on the internet run Just As Good as more expensive guns).

Which brings us to part two of this specific subcategory of nonsense. The inflated round counts. My Brand Y is just as good as your Brand X and I’ve put TEN THOUSAND ROUNDS through it!

Because only on the internet do people buy $300 pistols or $600 rifles, and then put $3000 or $8000 worth of ammo through them. That’s super common behavior apparently.

In actuality guys who do actually shoot a lot know our approximate round counts, and some of us even keep exact log books (I don’t, I’m lazy, I just go by how many cases it is on), because that tells us when we need to do what kind of maintenance (it is amazing how all those 50k XDs on the internet never need new springs) and unless you’re shooting competition seriously, coin chasing, or a training junkie, you’re probably not putting up five figure round counts through a single gun. And most of us who do that stuff for fun, will have multiple different guns and back up guns that match the first one for when it breaks.

Really, most $300 pistols and $600 rifles could spontaneously combust once they hit 500 rounds, and 95% of the people who buy them would never know, because they never hit that round count. Move that to 1000 rounds and it would be like 99%.

The next reason this bullshit doesn’t fly anymore, is we’ve all got cameras on our phones, yet these guys never have videos of their super amazing feats.

My page is full of videos of me doing different drills and challenges. Some come out great. Some I come up lacking. But I post those too, because it’s still educational. There’s plenty of video evidence that I can shoot about as good as I claim that I can shoot. But these dudes who make the internet claims? There’s never video of them, go figure. They must be very private or something.

A little while back I saw where a newb put up a picture of his 10 yard pistol target, and it looked about like what you’d expect a newb’s 10 yard pistol target to look like. No shame in that. We all started somewhere. But along comes some random internet asshole, saying that’s trash, and how he could totally shoot a ten shot group that could be covered by a QUARTER, at 25 yards, FREEHAND, on demand, every time, using his Smith & Wesson Model 36… I shit you not.

And I was like, lol, the fuck you can. 😀 But the dude doubled down. So I said video, or it didn’t happen. Because either you’re a fucking dork ass liar, or congratulations, you are quite possibly one of the greatest shooters on Earth ever in all of human history. And I told him get me that video, and I’ll be happy to introduce him to the marketing people at various companies who would be ecstatic to sponsor him and shower him in free guns and ammo. But sadly his camera was broken or something. Oh well.

I’m pretty decent. I know I’m way better than average. I’ve got to shoot with guys who are actual master and grandmaster level shooters, so I know what really good looks like. We’ve all got actual scored targets, known distances, and shot timers, so what we can do is documented. Yet we’re all shit compared to these random guys on the internet. It’s a miracle such talent goes unnoticed!

Seriously guys, this isn’t the dawn of the internet gun forums anymore. Everyone is onto your bullshit. Shooters in general have gotten more experienced. The bell curve has shifted. Odds are there are several people reading your bullshit, who can easily outshoot you, and have forgotten more than you know. You can’t snow them. Stop trying. It’s just sad.

Monster Hunter Memoirs: Fever – eARC is out now!

https://www.baen.com/monster-hunter-memoirs-fever-1.html

Fever is the new MHI novel by me and Jason Cordova, set in 1970s California. An eARC is the Electronic Advanced Reader Copy, which is the not final version that goes out early to reviewers. Baen recognizes that some fans don’t like to wait for the official release (October in this case) so they make those advance copies available for sale.

Sometimes there’s editorial differences between the eARCs and the final, but honestly my manuscripts are really clean, so copy editing goes fast, and there’s rarely any differences between the two for my stuff. Take that for what it’s worth.

I’m really happy with this one. It was fun working with Jason, and our main character is way different than the MC of the previous memoirs. That’s the awesome thing about the Monster Hunter universe. It’s wide enough there’s a whole lot of different stories that can be told. I hope you like it.

The Death of Good Will

*another one I pulled from the Book of Faces for your enjoyment- Jack


I get a mention in this article about how Star Wars novels sales have tanked (Link) and they even put up a picture of Tower of Silence.

This is an interesting topic to me as a writer, and a former accountant. In accounting we have a thing called Good Will. That’s an intangible asset. Take a company with a super well established name and track record. There’s no physical asset for the name, Coke a Cola or McDonald’s, but there’s an asset value for how incredibly well known those are, and that needs to get accounted for in the valuation. Companies like that aren’t valuable just because they own stores or factories or lots of inventory, but because everybody knows who they are. Basically Good Will exists because customers know who you are, what you do, and generally like that. With big corporations, Good Will is worth billions.

Good Will goes down when companies turn off those customers, or the name starts to have negative connotations and they become less valuable (Anhauser Busch for a recent example).

The Star Wars novels are a perfect example of this. That was once the biggest and most beloved IP on Earth. Novels in that setting should be a license to print money. The Good Will was off the charts. A reboot was a chance to kinda forget the worst of previous products, and come out the gate strong with quality products. In a sane world, the novels of an IP that big should crush the rest of us by orders of magnitude, just off of name recognition and customers being inclined toward checking out products from that brand.

Nope. They went the opposite direction.

I remember when they announced the reboot of Star Wars novels, coinciding with the new movies (which also flushed Good Will down the toilet).

I was having a conversation with another author around this time, who is more famous and successful than I am, who said that if this was 20 years ago, guys like me and him would have been the first authors they’d call. Authors with good, solid, established track records for action and adventure, with ensemble casts of interesting and memorable characters, who can do big set piece action sequences regardless of the setting or circumstances. Kind of like how the last time around they got dudes like Zahn and Stackpole.

Instead they picked pretentious dolt Chuck Wendig. Of course his books were shit. This didn’t come as a surprise to anybody who was vaguely familiar with Chuck Wendig. He’s a wannabe literati who writes one How To Be A Writer book to sell to gullible suckers for every actual novel he produces. He’s one of those dipshits who thinks he’s clever, mistakes snark for depth.

Now, Disney wasn’t totally stupid, and they brought back Tim Zahn, who is a pro’s pro. That dude knows how to tell a story, and he gets the fans. Dorks like Wendig think they’re better than the fans. Zahn is an actual Star Wars fan.

I told the other more famous writer that I’d be great from a technical/story aspect, but a  bad business pick, because I’m too personally controversial to write for an IP that broad (another reason Wendig was a bad pick, because he’s as opinionated as me, only his politics are stupid) however I could name a couple dozen other authors with track records writing their own stuff that demonstrate they’d be ideal to write Star Wars stories, who aren’t personally controversial. Some of these are obvious no brainer picks for Disney… so of course none of those got called. 😀

I’d never heard of most of the ones they’d picked, which says a lot about that whole established track record thing. A couple it appears they were picked because they checked proper social justice boxes, and I’ve got a sneaky suspicion the Disney selection process consisted of finding one outspoken dumbass lefty writer on the con circuit, and then getting introduced to all that writer’s circle of friends.

Part of Good Will is that the customers expect certain kinds of action from certain kinds of companies. If Star Wars novels don’t feel like Star Wars, bad. It’s like if your blue collar, frat boy, cheap beer company goes off in a wildly incongruous direction, Good Will squandered.

Relatively speaking, Star Wars novels still sell quite a few copies… when compared to us normies who don’t have the biggest IP in history and a zillion dollar megacorporation’s marketing powers. For most authors, 30k copies is awesome. 100k copies is bad ass. However, for Motherfucking STAR WARS… that’s utter shit.  Star Wars should obliterate that.

I’ve seen Wendig brag about how he’s a super dooper bestseller… dude… it was Star Wars… every reader in the world was curious. That first reboot book could have been written by a piece of steamed broccoli and it
A. would have sold just as well.
B. had a more coherent plot and better writing.  
The drop off afterwards is the really telling thing, as fans went what is this shit? Good Will squandered.

I stand in awe at how incredibly terrible Disney is at this. In the hands of somebody even sorta professional, these books should be a license to print money.

Gritty Cop Show: LibertyCon 35 Charity Game Recap (the statistically impossible edition)

The six seats that were auctioned off for my Gritty Cop Show RPG game at LibertyCon raised $4,900 for Ronald McDonald House. You break the all time charity fundraising record, you get a quality dramatic recap!

For those of you unfamiliar, Gritty Cop Show is an RPG of my design, and everything you need to know about the setting is in the title. The rules are designed to run fast and simple, with everything being tropey and dramatic. Every advantage/disadvantage is named after something from a cop show, and there’s an escalating stress mechanic to add complications and eventually Dramatic Blow Ups. (and yes, we are going to kickstart this but it keeps taking back burner because I have to keep writing novels!)

For con games I always pick a movie or tv show to steal the plot from. This time I used a version of the British cop drama Paranoid. I’ve used that one once before for a beta testing game, but that was with my regular group, and was a 6 hour session instead of 4. So here we go:

Gritty Cop Show: LibertyCon 35 Episode

Representing the NYPD’s Serious Crimes Unit we had-

Jay, playing Lt. Christopher Rawls, who is Too Old For This Shit. We’re talking suspenders and a shoulder holster with a 38 Smith in it, old school, one year from retirement.

Tim, playing his partner Detective Milton Cyrus, who had just got done working a deep undercover assignment. He’s the grey man, master of disguise, they never see coming.

Rawls and Cyrus partnership has the Blood Brothers advantage. These guys are best buds, ride or die.

Joel, playing Sgt. Reginald “Reggie” Quincy, who is the squad’s research guy and crime scene savant. If there’s brains stuck to something, he’s gonna know how they got there!

Ian, is playing his partner, Alexi Bosoyev, who is on special exchange from a PD in Siberia (think the movie Red Heat). They do things a little different where he’s from (usually involving truncheons and knee caps)

Quincy and Bosoyev are the Odd Couple, where one of them is a hard core Action Guy and the other is The Nerd.

Norman, playing Detective Kendall Jones, who came from the city’s upper crust, and dropped out of law school to become a cop. Before he was in Homicide he was on the Bomb Squad.

And Carey, playing Detective “Sweat Pea” Smith who knows the law like back of his hand, but criminals just don’t take him seriously, (like literally, the disadvantage he took is called Punk Ass Bitch! and automatically results in crooks challenging him like, “You ain’t gonna shoot me!”

Together, Jones and Smith are The Closers. These are the dudes who make solid cases and put bad guys behind bars.

The game opens Saturday morning when our squad gets called to a homicide at a playground. A mother named Angela was pushing her 4 year old on the swing when she got attacked by a man in a blue hoodie, who stabbed her to death.

Our guys go to work examining the crime scene, questioning witnesses, gathering evidence, checking the victim’s cell phone, and checking for local security camera videos (the beautiful thing about GCS games is that everybody has watched a million cop shows, and this game is based on all that stuff, and isn’t meant to be realistic, but it’s fun to watch players get all super meticulous!) 😀

The murder weapon (a butcher knife) is found in the bushes. One especially moronic witness (I love playing NPCs) got it on cell phone, but you can’t see the bad guy’s face. The cops who are good at hand to hand fighting stuff all get that this killer was motivated and knew exactly what he was doing. There’s witness and videos who saw the attacker approach from the north, and then leave toward the north.

The victim is identified as a doctor who works at a nearby hospital. She is living with her father since breaking up with her boyfriend, and the father arrives at the scene to be questioned. (and these guys were way better at managing grieving witnesses than my heartless kids, that’s for sure!)

During this the players experienced their first Complication, when Lt. Rawls tried to stop a bossy reporter from hounding the victim’s dad, and ended up body checking her to the ground on camera. Whoops! The Captain (who we had all decided was a total douche, played by me doing a very poor impersonation of Danny DeVito, was going to love that)

Then the squad gets a call. There’s been a jumper off a 6th floor fire escape 4 blocks north. And the suicide was a white male in his 30s in a blue hoody (which matches the description and video of the attacker). It could be the guy.

Unlike D&D where you NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY, Gritty Cop Show you split the party like crazy, because cases are on the clock, and the partners are constantly going off in different directions to check on things and we flip back and forth between them for scenes.

So one squad goes to the victim’s home, the other goes to the victim’s workplace, and the third goes to the scene of the suicide to see if they’re related.

And the suicide does appear related. Not only does the dead guy make a pretty good match for the attacker, he’s got a knife block missing a butcher knife, and the set matches the murder weapon perfectly. He also has pills in his medicine cabinet for treating psychosis, and when they ID him, he does have a record for erratic behavior and violent outbursts. So it looks like some guy had a psychotic break and attacked a random mom. That looks pretty open and shut! (which makes the Lt. happy, because he just wants to retire).

Only our guys are thorough, and they note that his shoes have no playground material in the treads. And though he’s got a history, its been six years since his last run in with the law. They also get the name of his psychiatrist and decide to follow up with him too.

Meanwhile, at the doctor’s home office, they find that even though she’s got a computer, she’s gotten an old 90s typewriter out of storage, and has been typing on it, though they can’t find any type written pages there at all. Sweat Pea takes the typewriter because he knows messages might be reconstructed from the ribbon.

In a strange coincidence, it appears that sometime on Friday night, somebody broke into the doctor’s office at the hospital. Security camera shows someone jimmying the door, but he was wearing a hat and managed to never once look at a security camera. Cyrus, being a UC and infiltration kind of guy, realizes that the dude in this video is really good at B&E.

As much as Rawls really wants to close this case fast, there’s just too much out of place. So when they find out the doctor has only been at the hospital for the last year, he gets her resume from a coworker (poor Dr. Bob, who put his fingerprints all over the broken door knob and had a freak out!). They find out that the victim used to work for a pharmaceutical mega-corporation called Rustin-Wade, in their R&D department.

So once again, the partners go off in different directions to track down leads.

Bosoyev and Quincy go to talk to the psychiatrist, who is an unctuous toad of a man named Crowley. Rawls and Cyrus go to Rustin-Wade’s Manhattan HQ. And Jones and Smith go to talk to Ruben, the victim’s ex-boyfriend, at his apartment (who it turns out, is still a research scientist at Rustin-Wade)

At Rustin-Wade (they even have a giant glass statue of Jesus filled with pills in the lobby) they are met by a slick talking corporate security dude named Mr. Groves, who is super helpful, while not being helpful at all. Some digging shows he’s a former New York FBI ASAC who left under questionable circumstances involving bribery and corruption. He basically stonewalls them (and in GCS, when you are trying to interrogate or manipulate information out of people, it’s a contested roll, and this dude is super slick).

However, Crowley the psychiatrist is not. He’s a sleaze ball. He says that its tragic but not surprising, and sure sounds like a psychotic break to him, so tragic, so on and so forth. Only Quincy can tell that he’s lying. So Bosoyev goes full super intimidation on him, and I lost that contested roll by A LOT. So the shrink breaks and admits that he got paid a visit by a terrifying German man who threatened to kill him if he didn’t provide a patient who met the right parameters (size, age, appropriate symptoms, and location). It also comes out that Crowley has done consulting for Rustin-Wade’s drug trials.

Then at Ruben the boyfriend’s super nice apartment (this is when we found out that Detective Jones came from old money) Jones and Smith bully their way in (exigent circumstances, man!) only to find that Ruben died sometime Friday night, and is floating face down in his indoor pool. Poor Sweat Pea has to fish out the bloated floater, and takes a whole lot of stress when the gas comes out. But it looks like Ruben decided to take a whole bunch of drugs, wash it down with a bottle of vodka, and then go skinny dipping the night before his ex-girlfriend got stabbed to death. Surely that’s a coincidence.

So the squad is feeling like there’s some kind of cover up going on involving the victim’s prior employer, and loose ends are being taken care of. There were a lot of other clues dropped, but I can’t remember all of them for this recap. Don’t blame me, it was a busy weekend! 😀

While doing research, into all these things, and not finding any smoking gun, they get a call that the victim’s father has been assaulted in a burglary attempt at his home. They rush over to discover that he had returned home to find a man in his daughter’s office, tearing the place apart looking for something, but then he’d struck the father in the head and fled the scene.

Our guys tear the place up, and as near as they can guess, the burglar was looking for those missing type written pages. The Doctor was writing something that she didn’t feel safe putting on a computer. With that in mind, they find on her credit card statements that she’s been paying for a PO Box in Long Island. Thinking that she might have been mailing letters to herself for safe keeping, the squad calls for some local cops to watch that post office, then heads that direction to check for themselves.

Only on the way, they get the call shots fired, officer down, at that post office address! Each partnership has a car, and one of them is driving. They go to lights and sirens, hauling ass to the PO Box. The first on the scene discovers that the black and white they’d sent to watch the place has been shot up, and a black Audi is speeding away.

Now this next part is where we get to the statistical impossibility part, because in this one car chase scene was the most sequential bad dice rolls I’ve ever seen in my life. In GCS, as you fail, you start to collect stress. Each time you do anything you need to make sure you don’t screw up because of that stress. So every roll, you also roll a D20. As long as you don’t roll below your stress (which for most of these guys was only a 1) you’re fine. If you do roll below that, you have a Complication.

Out of six D20 rolls, FIVE OF THEM WERE 1s.

So the car chase didn’t go according to plan! My professional hitman, clean up guy (His name was Helmut Bookwalter) starts setting the type written evidence on fire and tossing it out the window of the moving car.

During our hot pursuit through Long Island, Bosoyev and Quincy’s unmarked car clipped a minivan filled with nuns. Rawls and Cyrus ended up going through the front glass of a doughnut shop. Sweat Pea tried to shoot out the fleeing perp’s tires with his shotgun, but they hit a bump and he dropped his shotgun out the window.

Only one of 1s was me, and my professional hitman (who had an excellent driving skill by the way). So the perp got t-boned in an intersection. He’s injured but comes out shooting at Sweat Pea and nearly hits Jones in the face through the windshield.

Only after wrecking his car into the nuns, Bosoyev took the black and white cop car, and rammed the hitman with it, breaking one of his legs and rag dolling him down the street.

It was a very dramatic scene, but at the end they’d wrecked 4 cars and some buildings, traumatized the nuns, and recovered a bunch of the half burned evidence. They did first aid, and the hitman would live (only because I gave that dude a lot of health, but I’d not been expecting them to run him over!) but the local cop he’d shot wouldn’t.

So they gather up all their stuff and wounded hitman and take him to the nearby hospital, only before they’ll let the doctors work on him, they “interrogate” him in a proper Gritty Cop Show manner, by threatening to undo the tourniquet that’s holding all the blood in (dude had a bone sticking out his leg and they had to go and start poking at it).

So Helmut spills his guts. He was hired by Mr. Groves at Rustin-Wade to silence a bunch of employees who were thinking about going whistle blower and make the evidence go away. He didn’t know what the cover up was about. His just was just to clean up the problems and make them go away. He agrees to testify against Rustin-Wade if they can get him into Witness Protection (This is a huge evidence point, and I’ll explain how the Jury Roll works at the end).

Meanwhile, some of the other detectives are pouring over the half burned evidence, which is a bunch of chemical formulas, and a big list of patients for a drug trial which there’s zero official record ever existed. Some really good rolls from them and they piece together that Rustin-Wade came up with an anti-depressant, but during the clinical trials five years ago, an absurd percentage of the people taking the drug killed themselves, or were in a murder-suicide, or performed a mass shooting, or drove their car into traffic, so on and so forth. Like 200 out of 700 people had some kind of reaction like that, so Rustin-Wade covered it all up and destroyed all the evidence. The Doctor knew about it and was trying to pressure her ex-boyfriend into going public.

Only Jones rolled a complication during all this research, so we got to have some proper Gritty Cop Show style traumatic drama when he realized one of the cases on the notes had been his, where a school bus driver had driven off a bridge for no discernable reason. 11 kids had died. Only Jones couldn’t find anything suspicious because of the cover up, so he’d not know about the drug trial, and he’d written it up as an accident. So his dramatic blow up was being wracked by guilt. Justice unserved!

However, Mr. Groves from Rustin-Wade is desperate. His professional clean up guy is in the hospital, probably getting flipped to testify against him, so desperate, he takes $25,000 in cash to the local MS-13 hitters, and says if you go kill this witness in this hospital right now, I’ll give you the other $25,000 after.

So while Rawls is downstairs making phone calls to the horrible Captain Nails, six members of the local youth organization walk in, looking all suspicious, and asking the receptionist where the German guy who got run over is at. They’re clearly really bad dudes.

THERE WAS A GUN FIGHT!

At this point, we get into the next super statistical anomaly bit. Because in Gritty Cop Show, when you roll a skill, its a D6 plus whatever your skill rating at that thing is. Guns, because super deadly, get an extra D6. So if you go to shoot somebody, it’s 2D6 plus your shooting skill.

In the following round of gunfight, I believe there was five snake eyes out of six. These guys make the actual NYPD look like masterclass shooter. 😀

The bad guys split up. Two take the stairs. Two take the elevator. Two remain in the downstairs lobby. So Rawls pulls his .38 on those two and yells hands up, they’re under arrest! Of course the bad dudes pull their pieces and start blasting, and Rawls empties his gun back at them. And misses everything! He gets shot repeatedly and flung down the hall.

In proper cop show trope fashion, in GCS, when you get shot you roll a dice. Even means it hit your bullet proof vest. Odd means it gets through. Rawls rolls even, so he’s alive, but his gun is empty and he’s crawling around the hospital while everything is exploding around him. And he’s almost to retirement!

Jones was also downstairs, around the corner, getting his face stitched up from where he got nicked by the hitman’s bullet through the car window. (and the nurse was an 8, because in GCS whenever you are dealing with somebody of potential dramatic flirtability, you roll a D10 to Check For Hotness) he hears the shouting and shooting and runs out with his 1911 right into a hail of bullets. He shoots back and misses like crazy.

The two coming up the elevator aren’t as lucky as their buddies downstairs, and Bosoyev and Quincy are waiting for them. Bosoyev is action guy, but it turns out that nerdy Quincy is the only guy who can roll good! 😀 And he blasts his gangster. The other one gets nailed the next round and flung back into the elevator to do the dramatic slide down the wall while leaving a blood trail!

The two who rush out the stairs, Cyrus is using his stealth abilities, and waits until they both pass, before ambushing the last guy, and choking him out with his mad jujutsu skills.

The two bad guys downstairs are feeling cocky, trying to chase down Jones and Rawls, except Rawls reloads with his one speed loader, and does the dramatic fall out the door and shoots one up through the brain. Jones empties his 1911 at the other, but misses again. Jones is about to get killed, but then Rawls nails the badguy in the earhole from across the room.

Sweat Pea is exchanging gunfire with the last gangster (he’s got a Desert Eagle, because Gritty Cop Show is why) only not only does he miss, his gun is jammed, and very dramatically the bad guy lifts his piece to blow Sweat Pea’s brains out, but then Quincy, Bosoyev, and Cyrus all light him up so he can do the dramatic slow motion jerk and twitch!

When the smoke clears, all the bad guys are down (one lives, and they flip Paco too) the hospital is trashed, but all the good guys are alive, and they’ve still got their witness and evidence.

At the finale of a GCS episode, it isn’t just about killing some of the bad guys, its adding up all the evidence to see if they can bust the big fish. (in this case that’s Mr. Groves and Rustin-Wade Pharmaceuticals) That’s what the Jury Roll is for. The players go over everything they think is good evidence for court, and I give them a point for each one.

Flipping the hitman, the psychiatrist, and the gangster to testify all count. The doctor’s notes count, as does the type writer ribbon that show where they came from. They also have the money Groves gave the replacement killers.

So then you roll a D12, which represents the Jury, and you add the evidence points to that. Above 12, you convict. Below 12, they get off (for campaigns, you can give the bad guy the advantage of really good lawyers who subtract points!). And Jones and Smith are Closers, who are good at building cases, so they get bonus evidence points.

It is a lot of tension right at the end to see if the bad guys get away with it or not though! Only Sweat Pea rolls good, the jury is convinced, and Rustin-Wade is found guilty.

That was a crazy fun game. Weirdly enough, despite the horrible odds of those bad dice rolls (the math nerds are debating over on Facebook right now, but its somewhere between one in a billion and one in a trillion, so whatever, it’s a lot, and I’m just glad I’ve got like 30 witnesses to the game or nobody would believe me) I didn’t actually kill any players. Kendall Jones left the force because of his guilt over the bus crash, but at least he got to put things right and get justice, but I didn’t kill any of them. Normal con game one offs for me I usually kill about 2 out of the 6. TPKs are extremely rare for me, but I’ve also had some 4s, and a couple lone survivors over the years. However it turns out that I’ve played with Sweat Pea Smith three times at cons and in none of those have any players died, so he’s just good luck I suppose.