http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499456/

Once again, this movie proves why you should never pay attention to reviews of B-Movies on IMDB.  According to the reviews, this movie should be unbelievable in its badness.  (which is actually the reason that I rented it, but as you all know, I’ve got a sickness for bad movies).

Days of Darkness is actually really good.  It starts out as a zombie B-movie (alien comet variety to be specific) and turns into an alien invasion B-movie.  It had above average performances, above average plot, and some actually really interesting ideas. 

B-Movies should be judged according to that status, not against blockbusters.  I wish people would wrap their mind around that.  Some folks complain that it only took place at one location.  No kidding!  One location is cheaper to shoot than a bunch.  This isn’t the Bourne Supremacy people.  This movie was made for the Bourne Supremacy’s doughnut budget. 

SPOILERS BELOW

The actors did a surprisingly good job.  They were more than your typical zombie movie cutouts, and you end up knowing all of them as individuals.  The car dealers were my personal favorites.  My only pet-peeve is that all religious people that survive the zombiepocolypse will be total whackadoos, spouting scripture, and “doing the Lord’s work”.  It’s a tired cliché, but it does work in this movie because somebody needs to open the friggin’ gate.

Where this movie shined was in mixing in the aliens.  You’ve got genitals falling off, male pregnancy, and alien mutant births.  “Congratulations! It’s a jelly fish!”  What’s not to love?

There was real humor, and I did like the Hugs Not Drugs shirt. 

The plot hinged on the fact that the zombie comet didn’t affect anyone who was intoxicated.  Also the only females that were infected were apparently virgins with no alcohol in their system.  I’m pleased to announce that nobody in the area around Chico State was zombified at all. 

Overall, if you’re a B-Movie fan, catch this one.  I enjoyed it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0231138/

Alternate title:  Attack of the Pudgy Mummy! 

Now this stinker on the other hand… man… I don’t even know what to say.  I did however manage to watch it in record time, because I can watch movies on 2X speed and still get sound, even though everyone sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks.  I reserve this power for especially dull movies, because otherwise I miss plot points or good scenes.

This was not a problem however, since over half of the movie is people wandering around waiting for the extremely slow mummy to attack them.  People can’t just get killed by the mummy… Oh no.  They have to walk around for ten minutes first, shining a flashlight randomly around and being scared by the wind, before Imho-Plump gradually sneaks up and stabs them.

Then the mummy (who was apparently an Aztec with a glandular problem) stabs people with his ceremonial knife, and it comes out clean.  The Aztecs were known for their bloodless kills apparently. 

See, the plot hinges on the fact that the mummy (do these bandages make me look fat?  YES) is to be used by an Aztec high priest (who happens to be a 17 year old white kid) to sacrifice a virgin to Tulaloc the Rain God and this will bring about the end of the world. 

So if your religion’s grand scheme for the apocalypse hinges on a sluggish mummy and a teenager, it is time to check out Cthuluism or something, because at least those guys have style.  The mummy punks out after a single stab wound from our nebbish hero, demonstrating why a couple hundred of my ancestors were able to defeat several million Aztecs.   

Overall, Scream of the Pudgy Mummy pretty much sucks.

I spoke with Toni Weiskopf, publisher at Baen this weekend.  MHI is scheduled for one of the Summer 2009 slots, which covers a range of June-September.  I’ll post the exact month as soon as it is known. 

I’ll be a guest panelist at Mountaincon this year.  http://mountaincon.org/x/page/  This is my first sci-fi/fantasy con that I’ve ever been to, so not only am I going to a con, I’m going as a special guest.  That’s pretty darn cool. 

MHI:2 (the rough draft) is almost done.  That sadly won’t matter to most of you, because we’re still a year out from having #1 on shelves.  Beyond my control, sorry.  That’s the sad price to pay for going from self published to a real publishing house.  Which is a major bummer, because I probably could have personally sold another 1,000 copies of MHI since I discontinued it. 

After MHI:2 is done, I’ll be doing an improved Mr. Nightcrawler series and attempting to get that published.  I’ll be posting a brief excerpt on this blog in the next couple of days. 

I have another project that I’m working on also.  It is sci-fi (kinda) in that it takes place in the near future.  Not a monster book, and not a straight up thriller like the Mr. Nightcrawler stuff, but more of an adventure/comedy/social commentary.  I’m keeping this one close to the vest for now, because it is weird and original. 

After that, I’ve got about seven other projects in various states of development.  I just purchased an HD video camera so I can start screwing around in preparation of making my B-Movie, (lifetime goal right there) but most of the projects are books.  I’ve got one straight sci-fi, one horror/sci-fi, one crime drama, and provided that the MHI universe is popular, have 3 more books in that series percolating in my brain. 

It is my understanding that the average writer has to get about 4 books into circulation before they can live off of it. My goal is to reach that in the next four years.  I’ve got one done and picked up, a sequal provided the first one does well, and two in a different series that are 85% finished, that hopefully I can parlay my being an actual “professional” author into getting these past the slush piles of various thriller publishers.

Talk about topic specific, a friend of mine just created a page.  www.harryreidsucks.com

And you guessed it.  It is a place for you to put your reasons for why Harry Reid sucks.  I don’t know if the internet is big enough.

Today I’ve been sitting on the couch, watching the History Channel with my kids.  Every year I like to reflect on the greatness of our founders.  They did something that was unthinkable, and virtually impossible, and somehow pulled it off.   They laid the foundation for the greatest nation in the history of Earth. 

I just wish more people today would study history and the fundamentals of what this nation is supposed to be about. It sure would simplify politics in our time.  I do honestly believe that George Washington would scissor kick Barack Obama in the throat, but I digress. 

God bless America.  Happy 4th of July.