All posts by correia45

Monster Hunter International Patch Contest!

Recently I discovered Facebook, and I was pleased to find that a couple of folks had created Monster Hunter International patchs for teams that they invented for their home towns.

Part of the fun of creating the MHI universe was the idea that all the people like me out there in the world could imagine themselves actually killing monsters for a living. I set it up so that there were an ever expanding number of regional teams.  The main team out of Cazador had the Happy Face with Horns that you’ve all seen. Atlanta had a lop eared bunny with a switchblade. (hat tip to Sluggy Freelance). Then there were others, Smoking Elvis out of Vegas, (longtime Boingo fan) a Fire Breathing Warthog, and a few others that were also not specified as to where they were from. The newest was a Walrus with a Banjo based out of Denver. (Team Haven).

So here is the contest. Create your own MHI patch using whatever your creative abilities are, and then send it to me at monsterhunter45 AT hotmail or post it on the Facebook page Monster Hunter International, Hunter Unite!  The book releases in less than 2 weeks, so I’ll leave the contest open until the end of August, and then I’ll take a poll and let the public decide which patch is the most awesome.

The RULES: The patch has to be military style, in subdued colors like OD or brown.  It has to say MHI or Monster Hunter International somewhere on it and 1895 for the founding.  It can be any shape, and there can be other words on it if you want.  The words do not have to be in English if you want to take it out of the country. On that note, I’ve actually got a short story in the works called Monster Hunter Mesopotamia (and obviously that patch would be tan).

I don’t care if you do it with fancy computer programs or color it in crayon, but for me to post it, it will need to be a Jpeg.

Make sure you include what town/region your patch represents in your title, because that’s what they will be known as in the voting.

Entries will be due by the last day of August.

The PRIZE: For whoever wins the poll, I’ll mention your patch in MHI:2 so it will become official cannon in the MHI universe and I’ll send you an autographed copy of Monster Hunter International.  If your town is already represented by another team in the MHI universe I might have to tweak accordingly, so the geography of where it is from will have to be at my discretion.

SPREAD THE WORD: Now obviously everything I do is based on selling more books, so please tell your friends, post it to your blog, sneak messages through the prison chow line, etc.  The more entries, the better.

Miami, werewolf howling at the moon
Miami, werewolf howling at the moon
Texas 1, Jackalope & Mare's Leg
Texas 1, Jackalope & Mare's Leg

 

TALON = Texas. Arkansas. Louisiana. Oklahoma. New Mexico
TALON = Texas. Arkansas. Louisiana. Oklahoma. New Mexico
Phoenix AZ
Phoenix AZSt Mary's County - Hellslayers

 

St Mary's County Hellslayers
St Mary's County Hellslayers

 

NorCal - The Bloody Bun
NorCal - The Bloody Bun

 

Bubba Crossville TN
Bubba Crossville TN

 

Takin Care of Business, Middle TN
Takin Care of Business, Middle TN

 

Arizona Rangers
Arizona Rangers

 

Georgia Skull Crackers
Georgia Skull Crackers

 

Houston MHI
Houston MHI

 

Cherokee Uktena
Cherokee Uktena

 

Rome Georgia
Rome Georgia

 

 

Texas Cannon
Texas Cannon

 

Montana Headhunters
Montana Headhunters

 

Black Mesa NM
Black Mesa NM

 

Oregon Sasquatch
Oregon Sasquatch

 

Texas Poison Bite
Texas Poison Bite

 

Omaha Stakes
Omaha Stakes

 

California. Because someone has to.
California. Because someone has to.

 

Texas (that's Latin for Get 'Er Done)
Texas (that's Latin for Get 'Er Done)

 

Bad Sheep Middle TN
Bad Sheep Middle TN

 

Central Utah Beehive Militia
Central Utah Beehive Militia

 

South Africa - A Boer Makes a Plan
South Africa - A Boer Makes a Plan

 

Winchester UK
Winchester UK

 

Wasilla Alaska
Wasilla Alaska

 

Dallas Pegasus
Dallas Pegasus

 

New York (older patch, predates olive drab ones)
New York (older patch, predates olive drab ones)

 

Dugway Proving Grounds Response Team
Dugway Proving Grounds Response Team

 

Middle TN Death Angels
Middle TN Death Angels

 

South Dakota - Sigh plains drifters
South Dakota - Sigh plains drifters

 

Chanute Kansas
Chanute Kansas

 

Arkham MA
Arkham MA

 

Lake Elsinore CA
Lake Elsinore CA

 

Edmond OK Loud Nerds
Edmond OK Loud Nerds

 

Tombstone AZ
Tombstone AZ

 

Utah County
Utah County

 

Italia
Italia

 

Salt Lake City
Salt Lake City

 

Northeast Bloggers

 

Exite!  Chemicus Sum!
Exite! Chemicus Sum!

 

Crushing Evil in the South
Crushing Evil in the South

 

Deo Vindice
Deo Vindice

 

Eastern TN
Eastern TN

 

Virginia
Virginia
College Station Texas
College Station Texas

 

Hollywood Hunters
Hollywood Hunters

 

Kentucy Skull Hunters
Kentucy Skull Hunters

 

San Diego

 

Bakersville Hall Kennel Club

California is broke

Recently I posted about my former home state’s financial woes, and how California is in desperate need of a bail out from all of us other states, because they are too big to fail.  They say that they’ve cut all that they can possibly cut, and can’t cut anymore.  I was told after that blog post what a big mean jerk face I am, for wanting my to keep my filthy capitalist red state money.

Maybe they’re right. Look at this list. I’m sure pooooor California just can’t cut the budget anymore.

Courtesy of Casey Research, http://caseyresearch.com/drpRoom.php?e=true here is a list of all the California state entities that are in desperate need of your red state tax money, even though you were smart enough not to live there: 

    California Academic Performance Index (API) * California Access for Infants and Mothers * California Acupuncture Board * California Administrative Office of the Courts * California Adoptions Branch * California African American Museum * California Agricultural Export Program * California Agricultural Labor Relations Board * California Agricultural Statistics Service * California Air Resources Board (CARB) * California Allocation Board * California Alternative Energy and Advanced Transportation Financing Authority * California Animal Health and Food Safety Services * California Anti-Terrorism Information Center * California Apprenticeship Council * California Arbitration Certification Program * California Architects Board * California Area VI Developmental Disabilities Board * California Arts Council * California Asian Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus * California Assembly Democratic Caucus * California Assembly Republican Caucus * California Athletic Commission * California Attorney General * California Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California Bay-Delta Authority * California Bay-Delta Office * California Biodiversity Council * California Board for Geologists and Geophysicists * California Board for Professional Engineers and Land Surveyors * California Board of Accountancy * California Board of Barbering and Cosmetology * California Board of Behavioral Sciences * California Board of Chiropractic Examiners * California Board of Equalization (BOE) * California Board of Forestry and Fire Protection * California Board of Guide Dogs for the Blind * California Board of Occupational Therapy * California Board of Optometry * California Board of Pharmacy * California Board of Podiatric Medicine * California Board of Prison Terms * California Board of Psychology * California Board of Registered Nursing * California Board of Trustees * California Board of Vocational Nursing and Psychiatric Technicians * California Braille and Talking Book Library * California Building Standards Commission * California Bureau for Private Postsecondary and Vocational Education * California Bureau of Automotive Repair * California Bureau of Electronic and Appliance Repair * California Bureau of Home Furnishings and Thermal Insulation * California Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine * California Bureau of Security and Investigative Services * California Bureau of State Audits * California Business Agency * California Business Investment Services (CalBIS) * California Business Permit Information (CalGOLD) * California Business Portal * California Business, Transportation and Housing Agency * California Cal Grants * California CalJOBS * California Cal-Learn Program * California CalVet Home Loan Program * California Career Resource Network * California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau * California Center for Analytical Chemistry * California Center for Distributed Learning * California Center for Teaching Careers (Teach California) * California Chancellor’s Office * California Charter Schools * California Children and Families Commission * California Children and Family Services Division * California Citizens Compensation Commission * California Civil Rights Bureau * California Coastal Commission * California Coastal Conservancy * California Code of Regulations * California Collaborative Projects with UC Davis * California Commission for Jobs and Economic Growth * California Commission on Aging * California Commission on Health and Safety and Workers’ Compensation * California Commission on Judicial Performance * California Commission on State Mandates * California Commission on Status of Women * California Commission on Teacher Credentialing * California Commission on the Status of Women * California Committee on Dental Auxiliaries * California Community Colleges Chancellor’s Office, Junior Colleges * California Community Colleges Chancellor’s Office * California Complaint Mediation Program * California Conservation Corps * California Constitution Revision Commission * California Consumer Hotline * California Consumer Information Center * California Consumer Information * California Consumer Services Division * California Consumers and Families Agency * California Contractors State License Board * California Corrections Standards Authority * California Council for the Humanities * California Council on Criminal Justice * California Council on Developmental Disabilities * California Court Reporters Board * California Courts of Appeal * California Crime and Violence Prevention Center * California Criminal Justice Statistics Center * California Criminalistic Institute Forensic Library * California CSGnet Network Management * California Cultural and Historical Endowment * California Cultural Resources Division * California Curriculum and Instructional Leadership Branch * California Data Exchange Center * California Data Management Division * California Debt and Investment Advisory Commission * California Delta Protection Commission * California Democratic Caucus * California Demographic Research Unit * California Dental Auxiliaries * California Department of Aging * California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Appeals Board * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control * California Department of Boating and Waterways (Cal Boating) * California Department of Child Support Services (CDCSS) * California Department of Community Services and Development * California Department of Conservation * California Department of Consumer Affairs * California Department of Corporations * California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation * California Department of Developmental Services * California Department of Education * California Department of Fair Employment and Housing * California Department of Finance * California Department of Financial Institutions * California Department of Fish and Game * California Department of Food and Agriculture * California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CDF) * California Department of General Services * California Department of General Services, Office of State Publishing * California Department of Health Care Services * California Department of Housing and Community Development * California Department of Industrial Relations (DIR) * California Department of Insurance * California Department of Justice Firearms Division * California Department of Justice Opinion Unit * California Department of Justice, Consumer Information, Public Inquiry Unit * California Department of Justice * California Department of Managed Health Care * California Department of Mental Health * California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) * California Department of Personnel Administration * California Department of Pesticide Regulation * California Department of Public Health * California Department of Real Estate * California Department of Rehabilitation * California Department of Social Services Adoptions Branch * California Department of Social Services * California Department of Technology Services Training Center (DTSTC) * California Department of Technology Services (DTS) * California Department of Toxic Substances Control * California Department of Transportation (Caltrans) * California Department of Veterans Affairs (CalVets) * California Department of Water Resources * California Departmento de Vehiculos Motorizados * California Digital Library * California Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Division of Apprenticeship Standards * California Division of Codes and Standards * California Division of Communicable Disease Control * California Division of Engineering * California Division of Environmental and Occupational Disease Control * California Division of Gambling Control * California Division of Housing Policy Development * California Division of Labor Standards Enforcement * California Division of Labor Statistics and Research * California Division of Land and Right of Way * California Division of Land Resource Protection * California Division of Law Enforcement General Lib
    rary * California Division of Measurement Standards * California Division of Mines and Geology * California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (Cal/OSHA) * California Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources * California Division of Planning and Local Assistance * California Division of Recycling * California Division of Safety of Dams * California Division of the State Architect * California Division of Tourism * California Division of Workers’ Compensation Medical Unit * California Division of Workers’ Compensation * California Economic Assistance, Business and Community Resources * California Economic Strategy Panel * California Education and Training Agency * California Education Audit Appeals Panel * California Educational Facilities Authority * California Elections Division * California Electricity Oversight Board * California Emergency Management Agency * California Emergency Medical Services Authority * California Employment Development Department (EDD) * California Employment Information State Jobs * California Employment Training Panel * California Energy Commission * California Environment and Natural Resources Agency * California Environmental Protection Agency (Cal/EPA) * California Environmental Resources Evaluation System (CERES) * California Executive Office * California Export Laboratory Services * California Exposition and State Fair (Cal Expo) * California Fair Political Practices Commission * California Fairs and Expositions Division * California Film Commission * California Fire and Resource Assessment Program * California Firearms Division * California Fiscal Services * California Fish and Game Commission * California Fisheries Program Branch * California Floodplain Management * California Foster Youth Help * California Franchise Tax Board (FTB) * California Fraud Division * California Gambling Control Commission * California Geographic Information Systems Council (GIS) * California Geological Survey * California Government Claims and Victim Compensation Board * California Governor’s Committee for Employment of Disabled Persons * California Governor’s Mentoring Partnership * California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services * California Governor’s Office of Homeland Security * California Governor’s Office of Planning and Research * California Governor’s Office * California Grant and Enterprise Zone Programs HCD Loan * California Health and Human Services Agency * California Health and Safety Agency * California Healthy Families Program * California Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau * California High-Speed Rail Authority * California Highway Patrol (CHP) * California History and Culture Agency * California Horse Racing Board * California Housing Finance Agency * California Indoor Air Quality Program * California Industrial Development Financing Advisory Commission * California Industrial Welfare Commission * California InFoPeople * California Information Center for the Environment * California Infrastructure and Economic Development Bank (I-Bank) * California Inspection Services * California Institute for County Government * California Institute for Education Reform * California Integrated Waste Management Board * California Interagency Ecological Program * California Job Service * California Junta Estatal de Personal * California Labor and Employment Agency * California Labor and Workforce Development Agency * California Labor Market Information Division * California Land Use Planning Information Network (LUPIN) * California Lands Commission * California Landscape Architects Technical Committee * California Latino Legislative Caucus * California Law Enforcement Branch * California Law Enforcement General Library * California Law Revision Commission * California Legislative Analyst’s Office * California Legislative Black Caucus * California Legislative Counsel * California Legislative Division * California Legislative Information * California Legislative Lesbian, Gay , Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Caucus * California Legislature Internet Caucus * California Library Development Services * California License and Revenue Branch * California Major Risk Medical Insurance Program * California Managed Risk Medical Insurance Board * California Maritime Academy * California Marketing Services * California Measurement Standards * California Medical Assistance Commission * California Medical Care Services * California Military Department * California Mining and Geology Board * California Museum for History, Women, and the Arts * California Museum Resource Center * California National Guard * California Native American Heritage Commission * California Natural Community Conservation Planning Program * California New Motor Vehicle Board * California Nursing Home Administrator Program * California Occupational Safety and Health Appeals Board * California Occupational Safety and Health Standards Board * California Ocean Resources Management Program * California Office of Administrative Hearings * California Office of Administrative Law * California Office of AIDS * California Office of Binational Border Health * California Office of Child Abuse Prevention * California Office of Deaf Access * California Office of Emergency Services (OES) * California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment * California Office of Fiscal Services * California Office of Fleet Administration * California Office of Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Implementation (CalOHI) * California Office of Historic Preservation * California Office of Homeland Security * California Office of Human Resources * California Office of Legal Services * California Office of Legislation * California Office of Lieutenant Governor * California Office of Military and Aerospace Support * California Office of Mine Reclamation * California Office of Natural Resource Education * California Office of Privacy Protection * California Office of Public School Construction * California Office of Real Estate Appraisers * California Office of Risk and Insurance Management * California Office of Services to the Blind * California Office of Spill Prevention and Response * California Office of State Publishing (OSP) * California Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development * California Office of Systems Integration * California Office of the Inspector General * California Office of the Ombudsman * California Office of the Patient Advocate * California Office of the President * California Office of the Secretary for Education * California Office of the State Fire Marshal * California Office of the State Public Defender * California Office of Traffic Safety * California Office of Vital Records * California Online Directory * California Operations Control Office * California Opinion Unit * California Outreach and Technical Assistance Network (OTAN) * California Park and Recreation Commission * California Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST) * California Performance Review (CPR) * California Permit Information for Business (CalGOLD) * California Physical Therapy Board * California Physician Assistant Committee * California Plant Health and Pest Prevention Services * California Policy and Evaluation Division * California Political Reform Division * California Pollution Control Financing Authority * California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo * California Postsecondary Education Commission * California Prevention Services * California Primary Care and Family Health * California Prison Industry Authority * California Procurement Division * California Public Employees’ Retirement System (CalPERS) * California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB) * California Public Utilities Commission (PUC) * California Real Estate Services Division * California Refugee Programs Branch * California Regional Water Quality Control Boards * California Registered Veterinary Technician Committee * California Registrar of Charitable Trusts * California Republican Caucus * California Research and Development Division * California Research Bureau * California Resources Agency * California Respi
    ratory Care Board * California Rivers Assessment * California Rural Health Policy Council * California Safe Schools * California San Francisco Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California San Gabriel and Lower Los Angeles Rivers and Mountains Conservancy * California San Joaquin River Conservancy * California School to Career * California Science Center * California Scripps Institution of Oceanography * California Secretary of State Business Portal * California Secretary of State * California Seismic Safety Commission * California Self Insurance Plans (SIP) * California Senate Office of Research * California Small Business and Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Small Business Development Center Program * California Smart Growth Caucus * California Smog Check Information Center * California Spatial Information Library * California Special Education Division * California Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology Board * California Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) * California Standards and Assessment Division * California State Administrative Manual (SAM) * California State Allocation Board * California State and Consumer Services Agency * California State Architect * California State Archives * California State Assembly * California State Association of Counties (CSAC) *0ACalifornia State Board of Education * California State Board of Food and Agriculture * California Office of the Chief Information Officer (OCIO) * California State Children’s Trust Fund * California State Compensation Insurance Fund * California State Contracts Register Program * California State Contracts Register * California State Controller * California State Council on Developmental Disabilities (SCDD) * California State Disability Insurance (SDI) * California State Fair (Cal Expo) * California State Jobs Employment Information * California State Lands Commission * California State Legislative Portal * California State Legislature * California State Library Catalog * California State Library Services Bureau * California State Library * California State Lottery * California State Mediation and Conciliation Service * California State Mining and Geology Board * California State Park and Recreation Commission * California State Parks * California State Personnel Board * California State Polytechnic University, Pomona * California State Railroad Museum * California State Science Fair * California State Senate * California State Summer School for Mathematics and Science (COSMOS) * California State Summer School for the Arts * California State Superintendent of Public Instruction * California State Teachers’ Retirement System (CalSTRS) * California State Treasurer * California State University Center for Distributed Learning * California State University, Bakersfield * California State University, Channel Islands * California State University, Chico * California State University, Dominguez Hills * California State University, East Bay * California State University, Fresno * California State University, Fullerton * California State University, Long Beach * California State University, Los Angeles * California State University, Monterey Bay * California State University, Northridge * California State University, Sacramento * California State University, San Bernardino * California State University, San Marcos * California State University, Stanislaus * California State University (CSU) * California State Water Project Analysis Office * California State Water Project * California State Water Resources Control Board * California Structural Pest Control Board * California Student Aid Commission * California Superintendent of Public Instruction * California Superior Courts * California Tahoe Conservancy * California Task Force on Culturally and Linguistically Competent Physicians and Dentists * California Tax Information Center * California Technology and Administration Branch Finance * California Telecommunications Division * California Telephone Medical Advice Services (TMAS) * California Transportation Commission * California Travel and Transportation Agency * California Unclaimed Property Program * California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board * California Unemployment Insurance Program * California Uniform Construction Cost Accounting Commission * California Veterans Board * California Veterans Memorial * California Veterinary Medical Board and Registered Veterinary Technician Examining Committee * California Veterinary Medical Board * California Victim Compensation and Government Claims Board * California Volunteers * California Voter Registration * California Water Commission * California Water Environment Association (CWEA) * California Water Resources Control Board * California Welfare to Work Division * California Wetlands Information System * California Wildlife and Habitat Data Analysis Branch * California Wildlife Conservation Board * California Wildlife Programs Branch * California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) * California Workers’ Compensation Appeals Board * California Workforce and Labor Development Agency * California Workforce Investment Board * California Youth Authority (CYA) * Central Valley Flood Protection Board * Center for California Studies * Colorado River Board of California * Counting California * Dental Board of California * Health Insurance Plan of California (PacAdvantage) * Humboldt State University * Jobs with the State of California * Judicial Council of California * Learn California * Library of California * Lieutenant Governor’s Commission for One California * Little Hoover Commission (on California State Government Organization and Economy) * Medical Board of California * Medi-Cal * Osteopathic Medical Board of California * Physical Therapy Board of California * Regents of the University of California * San Diego State University * San Francisco State University * San José Stat e University * Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy * State Bar of California * Supreme Court of California * Teach California * University of California * University of California, Berkeley * University of California, Davis * University of California, Hastings College of the Law * University of California, Irvine * University of California, Los Angeles * University of California, Merced * University of California, Riverside * University of California, San Diego * University of California, San Francisco * University of California, Santa Barbara * University of California, Santa Cruz * Veterans Home of California

Writing update

I broke 107,000 words on Grimnoir Chronicles: Hard Magic yesterday. Overall size should be around 130-150K, but you know how those estimates go. I figure that the 1st draft will be done by the end of August. Not bad since the idea for this project started only 4 months ago and I had to spend bunches of time doing research rather than writing.

Mike is down to approximately his last 27,000 words for his half of Dead Six, so we’re getting closer there. When he’s done I’ll be editing the two together.  Him being on Active Duty has screwed with our schedule, but he’s doing an awesome job writing in his free time. (massive hat tip to Chris Byrne and the Gun Counter boys for getting him that laptop).

If everything goes according to plan, I should have both of those cleaned up and ready for submission in the next few months.  That will give me three active series at one time.

MHI:2 is just awaiting publisher feedback, and as soon as she says jump, I’ve just got to say how high and make the corresponding changes. So if that happens soon, everything else gets put on hold.

I’ll be doing the Writing Excuses Podcast this week sometime. If you aspiring writers out there haven’t listened in, it is excellent.  http://www.writingexcuses.com/  The guys on there give some excellent advice on the craft of writing. I’m just hoping that I don’t screw it up. Let’s just say that I’m a writer for a reason. I’m extremely witty and clever when I’ve got time to think it over, then go back and edit. On the stump… not so much. Now for those of you who met me through being your firearms instructor, sure I may seem quick and funny when I’m teaching, but keep in mind that I’ve taught thousands of people. I’ve heard every question you can think of, and I’ve got a good answer. However the first time I was asked that question, I probably thought of my great answer on the drive home from the range.

On that podcast note, I haven’t listened to their latest, but it is about genre blending. I’m interested in that one because I’m currently writing a serious novel that has magic, ninjas, alternative history, John Browning, talking animals, lots of guns, gangsters, Tesla super weapons, J. Edgar Hoover, Imperial Japan, teleportation, Al Capone, more guns, Black Jack Pershing, dirigibles, dirigible fights, the Great Depression, air pirates, and the FDR of my world is one step below the Emperor from Star Wars. 

Meanwhile as far as genre blending goes, my one published novel has been described as a X-Files meets Rambo meets Heavy Metal with a Wonder Years narration… Go figure.

I have seen the future, and it is awesome

Look what came in the mail today:

It Lives!

The early copies of MHI: The Baen edition are shipping. No, it wasn’t the kukri, that just seemed like a very Owen type thing to throw in the background. These are the first ones, and I think right now they’re just going to reviewers. (I even got Fangoria to take one) The official shipping date is July 28th, but I’ve heard from several folks that it is common for books to ship early, so if yours is on order, it shouldn’t be too awfully longer.

As you can see, they are smaller than the old version, but much fatter, and all my wordy goodness is still there. Baen’s people squished them in there, in a print that was still readable, and said damn the margins! It is AWESOME. The Pollack cover looks great.

We’re almost there folks Thanks for sticking with me.

Writing bad guys

Last night I was having a phone conversation with Mike. He was driving home, running on zero sleep and the Amp and Mountain Dew had worn off, so he was using me to keep him awake so he wouldn’t fall asleep and drive into the river. And everyone knows that if you drive into the water in Florida, you will be immediately consumed by alligators, so I did my duty as a friend and talked his ear off about my current writing project.

Mike is one of my alpha readers, in that he actually gets to see what I’m working on as I write it. He isn’t too tough on my rough drafts, because since we’ve written a book together he knows how lousy my first pass can be.  The other alpha for Grimnoir is Bob Westover. Then the ultimate first reader is Kathy Jackson, but she doesn’t get to see it until it is actually all the way done and cleaned up, because Kathy’s a professional magazine editor and her time is valuable, (and her criticisms cut like razors!) so she gets the cleaned up version. Then I can show other people.

Well, anyway, I was telling Mike the backstory of one of the bad guys in Hard Magic.  I realized that I had talked for about twenty minutes going over this one villain’s past and his motivations.  He made the comment that I did good villainy. After I hung up I started thinking about how much effort I put into fleshing out my bad guys.

As a writer, I’ve found that I’ve become more unforgiving as a reader. I can’t really stand reading fiction with one dimensional bad guys.  I’m kind of dead set on my main antagonists being actual people. If I ever have a dude who is evil just for the sake of being able to wax his mustache and build death rays for no discernible reason other than to have a cool death ray, then I’ve failed.

There are several layers of bad guys in Monster Hunter International. The main one got quite a bit of treatment, and I think I made him plausible. Basically he’s a sadistic dick who wants to rule the world, but that wasn’t really too much of a stretch for a five hundred year old conquistador. Then there’s one of the bad guys who works for him, but I can’t say too much about her, as that would be a spoiler. Now she was fun to write. (and those of you that have read the POD version know who I’m talking about). She was everyone’s favorite.

MHI was my first book, and I’ve tried to grow as a writer since. The main antagonist in MHI:2 has a history and reasons for doing what he does. He honestly thinks he is the good guy and he is going to save the world.  He has a family. He has kids. He made a deal with the Old Ones to conquer the world in their behalf, so that he could rule it mercifully instead of the blood and fire way that they would go about it. He’s also bug nuts as a result, but hey, everybody has their issues.

It is particularly tough, because I would really like to talk about some of the other characters that I’ve written, but those books haven’t been published yet, so I can’t give too much away.  By the time you get to read something I’m already two projects ahead.  I guess that’s why I’m working on three series at one time.  

For those of you that read Mr. Nightcrawler on THR, you met Big Eddie.  He’s got a little more development in the novel that that mega-thread evolved into , Dead Six, plus over the series you get to meet his family and learn where he comes from.  Picture Carson from Queer Eye, now make him an international crime lord. With a poodle. There you go.  

Beyond that though, Eddie is a complex man with serious issues. He grew up as the bastard son of a super wealthy man. His older brother was the heir and chosen one.  While he inherited all the upstanding parts of the business, Eddie got the dark side. He plays the fop, the playboy, and people underestimate him. He’s sick and twisted and hurts people for fun, because it makes him feel like the big man.

And I can’t say more than that, but there are more bad guys in that series that I just love. Have you ever had a buddy with that really psycho ex-girlfriend, you know, she’s hot, but crazy…  Vindictive, delusional, manipulative, and as you get to know her you realize that this chick must have had one seriously messed up childhood. Yeah… and if that is your ex-girlfriend, you have my condolences.  Now picture that girl… with nuclear weapons.  

My philosophy is that your villains have to be actual people first who became bad guys. Nobody goes out and does evil just to be evil. (well, there are a few, never mind).  Even serial killers have reasons. Most people think that they’re the hero in their own story. They will view the protagonists as the bad guy, the person standing in their way. Everyone has motivation, and the typical bad guy motivations are great, money, power, lust, revenge, etc.  but you’ve got to ask why first. Why does that bad guy want those things?  What made him that way?

Maybe that’s one reason I so absolutely hated the new Star Wars movies. Darth Vader was a chilling evil dude in the originals. Then we got to see where he comes from and we all discovered that Darth Vader was basically a sniveling punk who takes this wild jump from being a good guy to massacring children for reasons that weren’t even sort of plausible.  

Even the evil overlords have a reason for doing what they do. In Grimnoir, the evil overlord is Baron Okubo Tokugawa, Chairman of the Imperial Council. In this 1932, Japan has taken a bit of a different path after the Meiji restoration.  Sure, he’s out to dominate the world, but he’s doing it because he honestly believes that he is on a mission from God (or the rough equivalent thereof) to cleanse the world and make it a better place.  

He does terrible things. He has no mercy, no conscience, and will absolutely do anything to win. He feels a duty to mold mankind into something better, something purer. He paints (badly), and even composes very poor haiku.  He’s actually a very intelligent, even sympathetic man, who will exterminate millions to do what he thinks is right.  At one point he is having a conversation with one of the heroes, who is grieving because of a loss, and the Chairman actually gives him sincere condolences, even though the Chairman was responsible for the death. Both men know when they meet again they will try to kill each other, but the Chairman is polite about it. To me, nothing is scarier than a villain who thinks that they are doing the right thing, regardless of the evidence, and damn the costs. subliminal message – obama – end subliminal message.

In true TV Trope sense if you are going to have an Evil Overlord, you must have a Dragon. And in this case, I’ve got probably one of my favorite characters I’ve ever written, Mr. Madi. I can’t give too much away about this man, because his past is revealed as the book goes on.  Basically he is crude, mean, utterly ruthless, has this really bizarre sense of right and wrong and an absolute hatred for weakness.  As he sees it, he has been wronged by life in general, and so somebody has to pay for it. As I explained his past to Mike last night, at one point he said, “Man, if that happened to me, I’d be pissed too!”  I hope that as people read Madi, they’ll hate him, but they would probably feel the same way he does while they hate him.

If you look at really memorable bad guys there is a reason they stuck with you. Keyser Soze was pure evil, but you don’t even know the guy until the very end of the movie. All you get is little snippets like “He says the Devil was in the harbor killing many men!”  that give you the shivers. He was pure badassitude for the sheer mystery of his character.

Sometimes a bad guy can just be dumped on you, fully developed, and you don’t even need any explanation of why they are the way they are. Other parts of their character are so interesting that they create their own story. For example, in the Dark Knight, the Joker tells different stories about his origin to different people. We never know who he really was, but it didn’t matter. He arrived, fully developed, and stabbed you in the brain with a pencil.  

One mistake I see in books is that people make their villains too weak. If they’re going to threaten the protagonists, they must be plausible. It doesn’t have to be through size, strength, or firepower, it could be through their brains or their manipulations. No matter what, there has to be tension that the good guys might fail, and if your bad guy is a putz, there is no tension.

A good intro for your villain can really pay off too. I was once on a Con panel on this topic. I was put on the spot when somebody asked what was the greatest intro of a bad guy I could remember. I answered that one in a flash because it has stuck with me my entire life. Gozer and Zuul on Ghostbusters. No, I’m being serious. Remember that scene when Sigourney Weaver opens her fridge into an alien world and there is a the big green demon dog and it goes ZOOOOOOOOL.  I don’t care if the movie won any Oscars, that was friggin’ awesome. If I’m ever an evil interdimensional force, I’d want my minions to appear in people’s refrigerators and bellow COOOORRREIA, but knowing the kind of minions I’m likely to have they’d probably just raid all the snacky foods and vanilla Coke and wander off to play Xbox.