All posts by correia45

The Testimony of the Traitor Ratul. A new free short story in the Saga of the Forgotten Warrior

I have a new free short story available now on the Baen website. https://www.baen.com/

The Testimony of the Traitor Ratul is set during the events of Son of the Black Sword, and gives the backstory of one of the pivotal supporting characters.  Here is a direct link: https://www.baen.com/testimonytraitorratul

Book 2 in the Saga of the Forgotten Warrior, House of Assassins, comes out in a couple weeks. And Baen.com always likes to have a non-fiction article to go along with their free fiction, so as a happy bonus this month, there is an article by Whit Williams (my sword fighting technical adviser for the series) about The Swords of Lok https://www.baen.com/swordsoflok

I hope you enjoy.

Zach Hill’s Last Novel, Sakura: Intellectual Property, Limited Edition now available for preorder

It was three years ago today that my good friend Zach Hill passed away. I wrote about him here: http://monsterhunternation.com/2016/01/18/in-memory-of-zach-hill/

Zach was one of the best men I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. He had a lot of friends and people who loved him. His twin brother and a couple of those friends decided that the last book Zach was working on, which he thought was the best thing he’d ever written, needed to be finished and published.

And they have.

I got to read it a couple weeks ago. It is awesome. It’s like everything Zach loved crammed into one book.

To give you an idea, this is the blurb from me they used:

“SAKURA is an epic story about a heavy-metal, super-ninja android during a cyberpunk apocalypse. 

I loved it.”

Seriously, it’s heavy metal saves the world. They asked me to write an intro and I was happy to do so.

Here is the preorder page for the limited edition leather bound version. https://www.paulgenesse.com/sakura-novel.html There will only be 350 of these ever made.

The regular version will be released next month. I’m going to Book Bomb the hell out of it, and I would like to ask all of you for your help boosting the signal when I do.  I want as many people as possible to get a glimpse into the mind of this good and talented man.

All of the money goes to Zach’s widow, Kenzie. Pat and Paul finished the book and did all the editing as a labor of love.

Mike Glyer is a Scumbag, Part II: An Opinion Piece

So once again, I am the subject of an article on Vile 770 (Fandom’s Prolapsed Anus).  This article declared Larry Correia Lies About File 770. It is about how yesterday I was told Glyer-50-Hugos and his gang of morons were talking about me, one of them said I wasn’t a *real* gamer, so I decided to put up a fun post which was really more of a celebration of nerdery than anything else. We ended up having a bunch of subthreads talking about various games and hobbies, and fun was had by all.

Except for Mike Glyer, because he is a wretched slug.

Since Glyer still stalks my facebook page (which was surprising, considering how much I insulted him last time, you’d think he’d have learned) he arrived within minutes, squeeling that I was a liar, and no such comment had been made.

My response was that I didn’t particularly care. I’d been told that it had, since every time he chums the water with my name, his gang of psychos then say a bunch of crazy shit which I have to hear about for the next week. Since I despise that place (and I’m not a Chinese robot) I wasn’t going to bother looking.

And shortly thereafter Glyer had put up another article, including a part about how when I was called upon my brazen lies, I blamed it on my fans.

Oh no. Not even close. I accept full responsibility for calling Mike Glyer and his followers pieces of human garbage. Gladly. After the pain and fuckery that man’s manipulations have inflicted on me and my family, I’ll trumpet that from the rooftops.

If you would like to know why, read this link. http://monsterhunternation.com/2018/05/01/further-examples-of-why-in-my-opinion-mike-glyer-is-a-scumbag-and-file-770-is-evil/

Hate is a strong word. I don’t hate many things. But I hate File 770.

You know how they say “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire”? If Mike Glyer was on fire, I’d want to piss on him, but I wouldn’t be able to, because blubber and compacted feces is highly flammable, so it wouldn’t be safe to approach such a tremendous blaze. Glyer is basically 400 pounds of old timey lamp oil in a skin sack. So I’d have to wait three days for the flames to die down, and then I’d piss on the ashen grease stain that remained.

If you hung Glyer from a tree and beat him like a piñata, instead of candy, he would bleed gravy and lies. Only you’d have to find a really sturdy tree branch, and you’d probably need a livestock hoist, so though satisfying, wouldn’t be worth the effort.

This is a man so inept that after bragging about how his web traffic was massive and superior to mine, posted a screen shot of his stats which showed that 97% of his hits were from Chinese bots. He quickly deleted it (as he does all embarrassing things once caught) but not before we got a screen shot. It was hilarious.

Since I previously warned him to keep my name off his shit page, let’s have some fun. Like a mangy dog, maybe if I throw enough rocks, it’ll finally run away.

As usual with a snake as disingenuous as Glyer, there’s layers to his bullshit. So let’s break this down. Bullet point time!

– First he brought me up in the article about Stackpole leaving GAMA. I’ve previously told him to keep my name out of his whore mouth, but he likes to pretend he’s a “journalist.” Only he’s got the honesty of Claas Relotius, the entitlement of Jim Acosta, and the back pimples of Rachel Maddow.

(For the record, I have no issues with Michael Stackpole. Every interaction I’ve ever had with him has been respectful and professional. Every interaction I’ve had with GAMA has been a clown car of inept cowardice. So between those two I know who I’m going to believe)

-Even though I was in no way involved with this latest scandal, Glyer knows damned  good and well that whenever he mentions my name it drives his followers nuts, and drives traffic for his pathetic click bait site. So he put my name in there. Of course, his followers immediately started talking shit about how this was my fault. Because basically everything that goes sideways in fandom is somehow my fault.

-Since I would rather fork out one of my eyes than read that shit show, I didn’t see any of this myself. You’ve got to understand, a man can only read so many baffling posts about what a horrific monster he is because mumble mumble reasons before he starts to tune out the crazy. But I’ve got fans who are masochists, and I first learned about this in the Monster Hunter International: Hunters Unite fan page, on a post about Stackpole leaving GAMA.

-Unlike Glyer, I don’t have a history of deleting posts to hide evidence, so that thread is still there. In it you can see real time as my fans told me about the comments. It’s the usual stuff I’ve seen hundreds of times before. Larry ruins everything. Larry would have a writing career if only he were good and kept his mouth shut. So I’ve got no reason to disbelieve any of what the fans are telling me.

To give you an idea about this brain trust, one of his regulars is German SJW “book reviewer” Frau Cora Butthurt (I’ve called her Frau Butthurt for so many years I’ve forgotten how to spell her real name), who when critiquing a Mike Kupari sci-fi novel complained that the rocket ship on the cover looked too phallic… Mike’s golden response? “Bitch, take it up with Wernher Von Braun”.

-During this thread I was told that they’d said I wasn’t a *real* gamer (implying that GAMA shouldn’t have ever invited me to begin with). Since the mopes have spent the last ten years saying some variation of how I’m not a *real* writer, this did not seem at all far-fetched, and since it amused me, I decided to have some fun with it. https://www.facebook.com/larry.correia/posts/2640415289302717  (and fun was had by all but Glyer, because Wrongfun is not allowed in Fandom!)

Also, a look behind the scenes: As a former accountant I’m actually kind of a private man, but one reason I started putting up mansion construction pictures is that me continuing to have a successful career despite my haters best efforts to ruin it, really drives them nuts. 😀

-Glyer declared that no such claim was made within the sainted purity which is the comments section of File 666. Hurumph! Hurumph!  Sure, they were accusing me of many horrible things, but not that SPECIFICALLY. However, you must remember that:
A. I don’t care.
B. I trust Glyer less than gas station sushi, and he has a history of deleting comments.
C. I warned him to keep my name out of his whore mouth.
D. This event does not exist in a vacuum, but is rather a continuation of years of fuckery. I had no reason to doubt the claim, and we are way past the point where I owe File 666 even the tiniest courtesy.
E. Mike Glyer looks like what would happen if a low rent mall Santa made a baby with the sex offender registry.

That last one isn’t actually pertinent to this bullet point, but typing it made me laugh.

-Glyer then waddled back to his yeasty den and wrote an article about how I’m a lying liar who lies. That amuses me. Saying that I “blamed it on my fans” is kind of stupid. I love my fans. I blame them for nothing. I embrace my disdain for Mike Glyer. I own it. I dislike him as I dislike all things foul and cancerous. And unlike Glyer, I don’t delete damning evidence, so the original thread is there on the fan page. Since they monitor everything I post looking for wrongthink I know they can see it.

On that note, there’s like 8,000 people on the fan page, and my mods have to screen them with entrance questions. Because what happens is that troll accounts sneak in, and then post outlandish racist, sexist, homophobic bullshit, which they then screen cap before my mods can delete it and ban them. So that they can run back to Twitter and post those screenshots as “evidence” of me and my fan’s hatey hatemongery. And the mob at Vile 770 laps it up.

Yet some still wonder why I despise these people?  Oh, Correia, why are you so mean to these people. It’s obvious they ate lead paint chips growing up, but you are so mean to them! To you gentle souls who think I’m too cruel to Glyer and his ass muppets, you have no idea the shit they’ve stirred over the years.

-So either the comment I mocked existed on File 666 and was deleted, OR the fan was incorrect and the comment was from a thread on Reddit. Either way, Glyer shouldn’t have said my name three times in front of the mirror to summon me (I’m basically Candyman), and either way it gave me an excuse to have a fun conversation about a hobby I love. (plus anybody who follows me knows I’m a sucker for posting mini pics).

One amusing note, in a cursory scanning of a screen grab of Glyer’s most recent article, I noted that one of his complaints was that my post was long… As if this somehow demonstrates my unhinged madness. No, moron. I write for a living. Writing is what I do. I’m rather efficient at it. I wrote yesterday’s post on my phone (Glyer does not understand this concept for his thumbs are far too blubberous for such things), and only the first paragraph was about his dumb page. The rest was me reminiscing about spending way too much money on mini painting and remembering various games. I wrote this blog post on an actual keyboard in about 30 minutes while killing time waiting for the kids to get dressed for church.

Yes, church. I obviously need it because I really struggle with the parts about mercy. Also, I swear a lot.

-Which brings us to this blog post this morning. I’ve not mentioned Glyer in quite some time. I’m happy not to talk about that foul slug. As I warned before, he needs to keep my name out of his whore mouth. It’s very simple. If he doesn’t want me to insult him, all he needs to do is not mention me on his shitty page.

Yet I know that he probably won’t, and this cycle will continue. Because I’m a former accountant he is a former tax collector, and like the snake and the mongoose, the two are eternal enemies… Only I guess he’d be like a really really goofy looking mongoose. With body odor. And dandruff. Who rides around on a mobility scooter with an oxygen tank. So basically the worst mongoose ever.

EDIT: Back from church and the plot thickens. As of right now I’ve got three people on the MHI fan page who still insist with 100% certainty that they saw that particular comment there, but when they went back to look it was gone. (this is why when dealing with snakes you always screen shot people!)

I have one person who read Vile 770 before my FB post who says he did not see the comment. However, he points out that since the very first thing I said yesterday was that I was going off of unverified 2nd hand accounts, Glyers post calling me a liar is still bullshit. 

People have asked me why I waste time on a scrub like this? My answer: Because the last time I horsewhipped China Mike it bought me about a year of relative peace and quiet.  Like after this:  http://monsterhunternation.com/2017/06/13/a-monster-hunter-nation-opinion-piece-mike-glyer-is-a-scumbag/ (yeah, above I only linked to the last time he was a lying sack of shit, not the first one, so here you go. This ones great) After that post he quit mentioning me as much for a while. It was pleasant. 

So when you’ve got a gaggle of dipshits who’ve lied their asses off about people you know for years, and they get all outraged because you put up a Facebook post that might be inaccurate (even though I’ve got 3 witnesses who still swear they saw it) of course you write a blog post! Anything less would be ungentlemanly. 

Character sketch from a Call of Cthulhu game

I’m playing in a game of Trail of Cthulhu (it’s like Call of Cthulhu but uses the Gumshoe rules from Pelgrane) We are in Arkham Massachusetts in 1938. The rest of the group is a Doctor, a Scientist, an Artist, and an Antiquarian. I went with Criminal.  For each player character you need to note their drives and the NPCs who are their sources of stability. I was inspired because I’d just rewatched Brawl In Cell Block 99 (fantastic movie, where Vince Vaughn is the world’s most efficient redneck killing machine), so I decided to write this little character sketch.  I found the pic from google searching “1930s mugshots”. 

##

Massachusetts Bureau of Prisons. Parole Hearing Record.

Location: Black Gate Penitentiary, Arkham Massachusetts

For inmate: Vaerst, Vincent Thomas   Prisoner No: 9371/45

DOB: Jan 2, 1905. POB: Florence, Alabama  Trade: Laborer  

Eyes black Ht 6’3” Wt 230 Hair dk.br.

Marks   Scars, rt face, extensive arms & knuckles, both. Tat, large cross on back

M.O. etc. battery and various classes of larceny. A general thief and bad character.

Known Associates: 828/45, 765/38, 1256/32, 223/45

Partial Transcript of Parole Interview

Thank you for taking the time to hear my story, honorable members of the parole board. I, Vincent Vaerst, am terribly sorry for the crime of which I was convicted. Incarceration has given me the opportunity to reflect upon my many poor choices.

Yes, sir. I believe that I am fully rehabilitated. Chain gangs build a strong constitution, and I spent my evenings in rigorous study of the Bible. If set free, I shall endeavor to never again fall to wickedness.

No, ma’am. I would never again strike a police officer in the mouth with my fist and knock out several of his teeth. That was uncalled for and I am greatly ashamed of my actions.

No, sir, I will never again associate with the likes of Big Tony Delgado or his gang ever again. Like many men in our great nation at the time, I was out of work and desperate to take care of my young family. Mr. Delgado offered me money, and in a bout of weakness I took it. I swear that was the only time I’ve ever performed such deeds, and I will never do so again.

Sorry. As I told the judge and the police detectives, I’m afraid that I never got the names of the other criminals who were involved. Nor do I remember their faces. It was very dark. Mr. Delgado did not order us to crack that safe. We came up with that scheme entirely on our own. The police pressured me to testify against Mr. Delgado, but since he had nothing to do with it, that would’ve been dishonest, and I would not add perjury to my crimes.

Oh, these? (–prisoner holds up hands to display disfigured knuckles to the board–) I was accused of knee breaking for Mr. Delgado’s loan sharks, but never convicted—because I’m innocent of such violence! These here were ‘cause I was a bare knuckle boxer for a time. These scars were earned honestly. Or sorta honest. I swear.

My people? That’s a curious question. What do you mean, sir?

Oh, you’re a professor. So that’s why this is being recorded. I understand. You’re probably trying to comprehend the… what is it… socio economical whatever of my upbringing…I’ll have you know, sir, that I’m no malformed half-wit of poor breeding… Yes, eugenics you call it now. Well, professor, my crimes are not a result of my blood. I come from a proud line.

My family has been here a long time. I’m not some kraut off a boat. I know Massachusetts is rich in history and y’all probably trace your lineage back to the Mayflower, but my forefathers were Hessians, arrived not too long thereafter. Brought here to fight against George Washington, but they stayed, as rebellion… I mean a love of freedom… was in their nature.

They ended up in the south. My grandfathers were confederates. Not because of commitment but rather geography. I come from coal miners, steel workers, and timber cutters, there’s even some Cherokees in there somewhere, but all were honest hard working types, despite the many accusations of thievery, moonshining, and bootlegging alleged against us.

Yes… that file you got there is correct. Of my five younger brothers one was convicted of bootlegging. He was an anomaly. My older brother died in the Great War, in France, a noble sacrifice and example to us all. I would’ve emulated him, but I was too young and missed the war. Upon release from this place I will proudly hang an American flag over my front door.

The mark upon my back? The Vaersts are Roman Catholic, sir. My parents are exceedingly devout, good people and stern. We were raised to keep an eye out for evil doings. There’s a spiritual darkness in some of the far back woods of the south, strange folk, and rumors of worse in the swamps where the moss hides unspeakable things… not too different from some of the places around Massachusetts if the more superstitious prisoners here are to be believed.

Sorry, sir, I was rambling. To answer your question, the tattoo was for protection against temptation and a reminder for me to do my best.

Well, yes, ma’am, obviously it didn’t work last time. But as a reformed man and penitent sinner, I will continue to seek counsel from Father Matthias, who is respected local clergy. Oh, you know him too, ma’am? I have built a friendship with Father Matthias over the last year because he serves one day a week as the Black Gate Prison chaplain.

What would I do if paroled? I have been a boxer, a lock smith, I’ve cut trees, and worked in a Bessemer steel mill. During the worst of the depression I rode the rails to whichever town there was rumor of work to be had. Should you show mercy to me this day, I shall go directly to the docks and apply for membership at the Stevedores Union, for a recent letter from my wife told me that they are looking for men with strong backs.

Yes, sir. I figured my wife had something to do with this. Normally I would not be up for parole for at least another year, but since you called me in today I assumed my wife must’ve begged her daddy to put in a good word with the warden.  That must’ve been difficult for her. She’s a very proud woman.

No, ma’am, I shall not lie. For I have lived a life of poverty and challenge, Lauren is my bright and shining star. I love her very much, and she has waited faithfully for me.

She comes from a line of French aristocrats, and her father, an educated man like yourself, Professor, did not approve of her marrying someone he termed a backwoods cracker German. But that’s just how things go sometimes. They threatened to disown her, I’ve caused a great many arguments in her father’s mansion, and she’s still on the outs with her family.

She was pregnant with our first when I was incarcerated. – Why, yes, ma’am, since I was out of work and unable to provide for my family, her pregnancy did contribute to my desperation when I took that ill-fated safe cracking job. No. I have not yet met my son. All I have is this photo of them which she mailed me…. Here you go. Yes, ma’am, they are beautiful. This tragedy weighs heavily upon me, and has caused me great and considerable guilt. Please don’t cry, ma’am.

Should I be released, I shall do my best to provide for and protect my family. Upon my family name and with god as my witness, you have my solemn oath.

Parole Status: Granted     Date: March 20th, 1935

Photo from http://www.graphis.com/entry/8c64c404-23b5-40cb-bd28-1ebfd0650621/

 

My House of Assassins Book Tour Schedule

I will put up another post with the addresses for each location (some of the stops are at chains with multiple locations) once I get the final detail list from my publicist, but here are all the cities I will be stopping in next month.

February 4 5:00 PM | Minneapolis, MN
Uncle Hugo

February 5 7:00 PM | Houston, TX
Half Price Houston

February 6 7:00 PM | Dallas, TX
Half Price Books-Dallas

February 7 7:00 PM | Oklahoma City, OK
Barnes & Noble

February 8 7:00 PM | Wichita, KS
B&N-Wichita

February 9 2:00 PM | Kansas City, MO
B&N-Kansas City

February 10 2:00 PM | Edwardsville, IL
Books A Million

February 12 7:00 PM | McLean, VA
B&N-Tyson’s Corner

February 13 6:00 PM | Virginia Beach, VA
Books A Million

Immediately after that I will be at LTUE in Provo Utah.