-Hi all Jack here- at Marscon Larry mentioned this and I realized it hadn’t made it over here. From the Book of Faces circa 2019…
American Airlines has destroyed society. It is chaos here. Not like the Before Times, when airlines didn’t sell 87 tickets for an airplane that only holds 70 passengers.
The demon lord, American Airlines, offered me a voucher. I declared, nay to your wickedness, foul beast! I bought a 1st class ticket three months ago, you already ruined one whole day of my book tour this week. I should not be cast out amongst the pathetic Bumped! But American Airlines laughed, and said foolish mortal, if you don’t “volunteer” then you will be bumped anyway, and be banished to the outer darkness of Dread O’Hare for at least another day.
So I took my voucher of sadness, that I may book another flight so that they may torment me again in the future. When I asked if I could use the voucher at another airline that wasn’t a complete shit show, American Airlines was not amused.
Thus I was cast from the holy 1st class, and sent to live among the dregs.
I have joined a tribe to survive.
The Delayed live in fear of the roving gangs of the Bumped. We battle for the vital territory of O’Hare, like the six working power plugs in the entire airport. Or the one water fountain that actually squirts far enough you don’t have to wrap your lips around it.
Rations are running low. I went to Chili’s but Endless Chips is a lie. There is an end.
I bought a hot dog. It was $4000. It mocked me with its sadness.
I remember Valentines Day with my wife in the Before Times, but my only intimate alone time today was spent with a blue gloved TSA agent, because his machine thought my testicles looked suspicious.
Though I dwell in Dread O’Hare, my luggage has flown to Utah. Where they assure me it will be taken care of by competent, American Airlines employees who totally won’t laugh as it is looted off the baggage claim.
Deprived of luggage, I have hunted and killed a service animal, and fashioned from its hide a loin cloth.
The Bumped Tribe has started a bonfire in terminal H to stay warm. We plot our next move against the Delayed Tribe.