Read the Room, Jeep!

I watched the Super Bowl yesterday. I don’t follow pro-sports. Heck, I didn’t know who was playing until Saturday, but my son plays high school football so it was fun to watch it with him. (the boy is nearly Gronk sized) I rooted for the team with all the old dudes, and as an added bonus I found out afterwards that Brady is a Trumpkin, so him winning caused a great deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth among certain circles of super obnoxious dorks on Twitter. So double victory.

But the highlight of the whole evening for me was the commercial by Jeep. Because holy shit, there is a perfect example of an utter failure in marketing.

I can imagine how they came up with this ad campaign:

##

JEEP CORPORATE OFFICE –

The CEO of Jeep stands at the head of a conference table filled with the CorpoUniParty’s best and brightest. “Alright, our new campaign is going to be about Reuniting America, so we’re going to aim it at those horrible, knuckle dragging red state deplorables.”

“But sir, aren’t they all domestic terrorist insurrectionists who need to be driven from society because they believe in evil conspiracy theories like unfair elections?”

Everyone at the table laughed, because red staters are so stupid. Everyone knows the election was merely fortified.

“Oh no. That was so last week. They’re only garbage people who must be resisted by any means necessary when they’re in charge. Now that we’re in charge it’s time to come together and all that other bullshit. Reuinited America it is. So we need to figure out how to appeal to…” the Corporate Overlord made quote marks with his fingers. “the working man.”  

“Gross,” said one of the many Corporate Underlings.

“I know right? But we’ve maxed out our sales to butch lesbians and suburbanites who think they need four-wheel-drive because they occasionally go over speed bumps. Have any of you ever been to the country?”

The underlings share a nervous glance. Finally one of them tentatively raises a hand. “I went to Danbury Connecticut once for summer camp.”

Everyone from Manhattan knows that Danbury Connecticut is filled with scary murder rednecks like the movie Deliverance, so that would do.

“We need to appeal to the middle of America. What’s in the middle of America?”

“Corn?”

“Racists?”

The CEO thought it over. “Let’s mix it up and go with corn. What’s that corn state? You know the one that our jets fly over between LA and New York?”

“Kansas?”

“Whatever. Set it in one of those bullshit states we don’t care about. I know! We’ll even title it The Middle. What do people out there in The Middle do?”

“Their sisters!” shouted one of the MBAs. They all laughed and high fived.

“They voluntarily snow plow their liberal neighbor’s driveways… Just like ISIS.”

“All good points, but they sure do like to cling to guns and religion.”

“We can’t use guns. Guns are only okay when they’re in Hollywood action movies or being used to guard Congress. So we’ll go with the religion angle. I want to see lots and lots of crosses. Shots of crosses on the wall. Churches. Church steeples. Make the telephone poles cross shaped. Do they make cross shaped corn? And find some dilapidated church built back in the 40s, because everybody knows religious people are too stupid and poor to build anything new.”

“You know, sir, during our celebrity voice over talking about the dichotomy between the two sides of the country, to contrast the red staters playing in the dirt, we should put a bunch of big gleaming pretty glass buildings in the background, so that we can subtly remind them that we’re above them.”  

“Good call. And for the fly over people get all the cow skulls, broken wind-mills, and silos you can find. We can’t ever let them forget their place. Alright, on that voice over, what celebrity is hot right now with those racist dipshits?”

“Cardi B? She’s a Hash Tag Strong Woman.”

“No. Everyone knows Red Staters hate women. I saw it on the Hand Maid’s Tale. We need nominally male gender identifying, someone who represents those backwards inbred hicks. Can we get Bruce Springsteen?”

“But sir, isn’t he a flaming liberal from New Jersey who campaigned for Joe Biden and who routinely sneers at our target audience of uneducated rubes? Since they’re feeling mocked, disenfranchised, and thousands of them just lost their high paying energy jobs, how can we foist a coastal elitist millionaire musician on them?”

The MBAs all share a confused and worried glance about how to overcome this seemingly insurmountable issue.

“Hmm…  But what if we stick him in a cowboy hat?”

“BRILLIANT!”

##

“Hi. I’m Bruce Springsteen, millionaire musician, but today I’m driving around bumfuck nowhere in some busted ass old jeep to a melancholy soundtrack looking like an extra on Longmire so that you know I’m JUST LIKE YOU. Poor.

Look. A cross. Because Jesus or something. I don’t know. I got paid like two hundred grand for one day of work. Here’s some high-minded sounding poet laureate style voice over about how we’re all in this together that I probably recorded in the studio in my mansion.

Now I’m gonna be extra sanctimonious about how hard it is to meet in THE MIDDLE.

Red versus Blue… Sure, team blue was all #RESIST for the last four years and endless goofy investigations, but if you think security videos of 50 mystery boxes being delivered by a Detroit election van at 3:00 AM is worthy of an audit you are basically a terrorist who needs to be cancelled and driven from society.

Citizen versus Servant. Like it’s okay for riots to burn the places where citizens live and work for months on end, but if the servants are inconvenienced for a day that’s basically a coup that requires more troops than we landed on Utah Beach.

We need that connection. We need the middle. Because somebody has to pay the taxes to bail out our hedge fund buddies.

There’s a Divide. Of course that divide is your problem and totally not our fault. Look, a horse.

Our light has always found its way through the darkness. Said darkness obviously being four years of somebody we didn’t like briefly keeping us from doing every crazy ass thing we wanted to. Have some more executive orders.

But there’s hope… on the road… because we installed an old white segregationist who got millions funneled to him through his crackhead son from communist China… but if you talked about that in October you got kicked off the internet for Fake News. But now the news is real. So Hunter got a book deal from the same publishing house that cancelled a senator’s book about the dangers of Big Tech censorship.

Damn… How many crosses do you people need?

To the ReUnitied States of America. We even made the star red too because we are completely incapable of any introspection whatsoever.

Buy our shit.

The Culture War is Coming For You Whether You Like it Or Not
Using a goofy review to give a peek behind the curtain of how collaborations work

311 thoughts on “Read the Room, Jeep!”

  1. Jeep has now pulled the ad from YouTube.
    I guess they could only massage the Likes so much.
    Gonna be some Marketing Weasels working on solar panels…

    1. How did you manage to post about this ad on December 10th, 2020? And can I borrow the keys to the time machine when you’re done with it? 😛

      (Seriously, I know how you managed it and why you did it, so no need to explain. I just thought it was funny.)

  2. That POS filmed near me not long ago here in Nebraska. Wish he came this week. Single digits and below 0 highs all week into next. Maybe he could have ditched it and froze… nope he’d be pulled right out by one of those Radicals…

      1. So were you just so enamored with the ad that you are devouring every blog post you can find about it or did you purposely come here, read the post, and then decide to whine about your own decision?

      2. Completely off. I saw that ad and I had to go out right there and then and buy me a Jeep! Then I got a buzz cut and a cowboy hat.

        1. I watched that add, the whole time wondering who that cranky old geezer was, driving the beat up looking jalopy, and why the heck did they choose him???

  3. I just watched the commercial. Good God, the sanctimony.

    Also, on their rustic-looking map of the US? They omitted Upper Michigan.

    They spent millions of dollars on this and they couldn’t even produce an accurate map of the continental United States.

    1. Jeep donated the UP to Canada.
      When you told me that I had to go find the commercial and watch it again to see that… and holy shit they did omit the UP. 😀 Lol. 😀

          1. I actually know two phrases in Finnish from living in the UP for three years when quite little and they were on the radio a lot. Enough that my parents started using them as random sayings (because of course we have no idea what they mean). Since I learned them from the parents, being too small to be bothered with the radio at the time, I’m sure if I said them to an actual Finn, they’d have absolutely no idea what I was saying, never mind why.

      1. It’s a subtle Jeep revenge for the Toledo/Michigan War….

        Nope, nope, it’s just crappy ignorant ad agencies that fired all the secretaries who proofread and fixed their presentations.

      2. As a Canadian, I’m offering the UP back. Please. I’ll even throw in a sanctimonious facist part time drama teacher and a Crack heads sanctimonious fascist brother. Please take them. I beg you.

      3. I pointed out the missing parts of michigan in the comments of the video and jeeps official account actually replied to me saying that map was video of an actual sign from that area and they were just being authentic by showing real video footage from the town of lebanon kansas (aka ‘the middle’). (though technically the middle of the united states is in south dakota, but I guess alaska and hawaii dont count right? Maybe we are giving alaska to canada along with the missing parts of michigan?)

        of course then they deleted their whole video so you cant see my comment or their reply. Sad.

        1. Joe’s going to give Alaska back to Russia. That way America can beat the Paris accord even more. He doesn’t give a flying f#ck if the oil still gets produced, so long as America isn’t doing it

        2. It may be an actual sign from that area, but they still had to decide to include that sign in the ad out of the hours and hours* of footage they shot for the ad. There are only two reasons to include that sign that make sense to me:

          1) They realized it was missing the UP, and thought “Hey look, we can take a condescending cheap shot at the rednecks who don’t know geography.”

          2) They didn’t realize it was missing the UP, in which case mocking them is just as well-deserved as if they had been the ones to create the sign.

          The official Jeep account’s response to your comment suggests that #1 may be a possibility, but I’m still inclined to think that #2 is more likely, and that response was just “Oops, they noticed what we didn’t. Quick, blame it on the locals” rather than it being planned from the start (which is what #1 would require).

          * Assumption, but I think a pretty safe one.

    2. Don’t feel bad. They left out my whole state. An easy oversight…I mean it’s only 16% of the entire land area of the United States, and only twice the size of the next largest state.

      Good marketing move, too. It’s not like anyone in Alaska ever buys a 4WD vehicle, amirite?

        1. I mentioned to a South African that I had a Toyota FJ. He said that the old African hands used to say, if you wanted to go into the bush, take a Land Rover. If you wanted to come back out, take a Toyota.

        2. Yep. There are at least five Jeep Wranglers per city block in Los Anchorage, now, which proves your point. Many real Alaskans have moved out of there & abandoned the place to the Seattle/Portland crowd.

    3. Did upper Michigan tilt toward Trump? That would get you canceled. As in wiped off the map literally if leftists had their way. How DARE you?!

  4. I watched the Superbowl too although I really have almost no interest in football of any sort. Well, to be accurate, it was on while we worked on a 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle and finished some wine. I can’t really remember much about any of the commercials (and , no, that’s not the wine). The Jeep one just seemed lame. I paid attention to it, expecting.. well, something.

    1. It was a long and aimless commercial that I totally didn’t get and I don’t even drink. If they want to sell jeeps then sell jeeps don’t preach a silly progressive sermon!

    2. Sorry but you guys need to go cold turkey.

      Otherwise, you may as well be glancing back at Sodom with longing in your hearts.

      Man up and kick the NFL to the curb. I am a native Texan, life-long Cowboy fan since the days of Danny “3 and out” White. If I can do it, so can you.

      Stop sleeping with the enemy.

    1. Dude, I live a couple hours south of the bridge (THANK GOD also a couple hours north of Detroit) and I constantly wonder why you guys up there haven’t seceded yet. I just pray that when you do, you have some sort of vetting process to let in a few of us trolls.

        1. The best $3 I’ve ever paid was the last toll north over the longest bridge in the world.

          Think I’m fulla puska? Dat ting goes from Finland ta Africa in one shot…

    2. /Me gets on Zillow and starts browsing 50+ acre parcels in the UP

      Please, let me and the wife come join you! We’ll bring guns and our own ammo! But we don’t have enough ammo to share, so don’t ask.

  5. Yeah, throughout that whole commercial I was thinking to myself “Holy crap this is a slap to the face! Please don’t be a brand I like, please don’t be a brand I like, please don’t be a bra – DAMMIT JEEP!”

    Then again, I have to face facts and admit that I think Super Bowl commercials in general have just plain sucked for years now. They haven’t been clever or funny for a very long time, sadly. I can pretty much say the same thing about everything coming out of Hollywood, though. The direct result of abandoning creativity in order to make a quick easy buck rehashing or “reimagining” the success of the past and the left in general surgically removing their sense of humor in the name of intersectionality…

    1. The clever started going away after the “wardrobe malfunction” superbowl. I used to watch mainly for the commercials. Stopped watching completely after whatshisname started with the kneeling.

    2. Yeah, the commercials started going bad before I quit watching. I was drifting away from NFL what with letting a dog-killer back in the league, and slap on the wrist for cheating NE coach, who should have been banned for life. Then Kaperprick and I was done. Watched cute Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet Sunday evening. Now with all the buy-in on Commie BLM I’m done with all sports.

    3. Sing it from the rooftops. I felt a piece of my soul scream like the Dread Pirate Roberts when his life was sucked out when I noted this was a Jeep commercial.

      Why, why did you have to wear this skin suit you d*amned wokesters?

  6. I missed that one. The one that I made me laugh the most was the weirdo CEO sitting in a field playing a piano and singing (badly) about Oat ‘Milk’ to a crowd known for BBQs, Beer, and sports.

    So, you know, prime territory for a vegan company to advertise, and especially prime territory for one who spent maybe 10 grand on the ad and millions on getting the TV spot.

    1. Oh, that one was so embarrassing… I think they were going for “quirky” but it just came across as completely cringeworthy.

      1. Quirky was an ancient advert where a Tech CEO fired mice out of a cannon. That was quirky.

        Oat milk CEO? If the commercial or the CEO was a horse, they’d be dogfood by now because they’re so lame.

    2. The oat milk ad was bizarre. “Milk made for humans!” Oooookay. I just call that “milk”.

      I’d like to sit down with these people and explain to them how raising livestock turns plants we can’t eat into milk and meat that we can, and specifically makes use of land that otherwise is useless.

      1. Almond milk is a good medieval/Roman ingredient, and very useful for Lent. Even old-style Lent. Calling it “almond milk” is a direct translation from Latin. I don’t know if there’s a Greek version.

        Oat milk is kinda unnecessary, but they could have marketed it like a normal product. “Look, not everyone can drink milk. And if you like oatmeal, you’ll like oat milk. Try it! You’ll like it! We do!”

        But noooo.

        1. Oh of course, I’m not knocking the existence of non-dairy milks (nor even the use of “milk” to describe them, since I get why they are compared; they behave similarly in recipes).

          And they DO have uses, especially if for whatever reason you can’t do dairy.

          But the part about how cow’s (or sheep’s or goat’s) milk is “not for humans” is just plain silly. I’ll let them try to show me where Holsteins exist in the wild.

          1. I’ll give them that cow milk isn’t for humans. It’s for baby cows. We just steal it to drink and serve up the baby as veal. But you don’t get to say your product is “milk for humans” unless it came from human mammaries.

            Also, that ad seemed like exactly what happens when no one can say no to the boss.

        2. The wife had a coupon for a free half gallon of it, once.

          I’d say we paid too much for it.

          If you can imagine the flavor of the milk when you’re done with a big bowl of cheerios, you know what Oat Milk tastes like.

        3. Actually I do like Oatmilk – Just not that particular brand. It’s tasty and surprisingly creamy! I mainly use it as a coffee creamer since it has the same amount of calories as skim milk and I find it a lot creamier than that. My brand is Planet Oat, but I tried the one from the commercial once and it was just kinda “meh” – the annoying commercial just reaffirmed that I didn’t want to buy it ever again.

        4. How to make a 14 year-old Boyscout blush… You know why it’s called almond milk, don’t you? ‘Cause nobody wants to buy “Nut Juice”!

    3. What got me the most about that one was the sound quality. It sounded like they used the CEO’s cell phone to record it. And like he doesn’t have the latest iPhone either.

  7. I didn’t watch the game, nor the commercial. Sounds like when Gillette decided to hector straight dudes for being all (insert a bunch of Woke bad things here). This is what happens when all of your PR department are 30-somethings with manbuns and Angry Feminist Black Frames.

      1. Well, currently the votes and comments are open, there’s 26K votes up, 15K votes down, and scathing comments. Even the non-scathing comments are kind of “WTH were they thinking?” and “Brave to leave the comments on.”

  8. The Woke Outrage should be Incredibly Amusing….Like Brad, I didn’t watch the Game or the Commercial, however, Much like the Bee,m your Satire seems to come closer and closer (Far to much for comfort) of actual events.

  9. What a sanctimonious piece of crap. By the way, take out two letters and Reunited becomes an anagram of Ruined America.

  10. Hashtag Mad Marketing Skills.

    I blame your West Coast privileged childhood at your ability to perfectly encapsulate the modern MBA mentality in a hackneyed marketing firm. Screw writing novels. You should write commercials. 😀

  11. I’m still looking at that “between servant and citizen” line — what is the middle that we must get to on that? That not-really-full-citizens is a good thing?

    Of course, I realize people like Springsteen would love to bounce citizen rights from half the country so was this one of those “uh oh they said it out loud” moments?

  12. The commercial that absolutely won it for me last night was the “It wasn’t me” commercial for Cheetos. “Well that’s the first time that’s ever worked”- Shaggy.

    Almost all the rest were lame.

  13. Sounds like a segment from the next Tom Stranger. He can explain that they are not covered for being such dumbasses.

  14. This super bowl marked the first time I’ve ever seen the audience shouting more obscenities at the commercials than at the referees.

    I know they think this is the perfect time to sermonize to the Deplorables, because they think they can force the deplorables to listen, but… dude. Clearly, “get woke go broke” is being countered with “that wasn’t real woke! We just have to do it harder this time!”

    1. Jeep is now owned by something called Stellantis based in the Netherlands that is the result of a merger of Fiat and Peugeot and a bunch of other brands that were under their umbrellas.
      Ad probably polled great in Amsterdam.

      1. Like those jackasses in Amersterdam really have room to park Jeeps. Well that dumbass, ignorant, sanctimonious piece of crap ad with earring “cowboy” guarantees I will never buy Jeep. Can we just roll the damn clock back to when CEO’S knew enough the idea was to get as wide a customer base as possible?

        1. Jeeps are surprisingly common in The Netherlands as are RAM pickups, Trust me this sort of addle pated tone deaf condescending wokester pandering is 100% Madison Avenue with no foreign intervention required.
          My blood pressure is glad I took a bicycle ride instead of watching this garbage, not that I ever watch the Stanley Cup of football.

  15. They are Government Motors, you know, since Obama gave them billions and they repaid it by cooking the books and selling said government Chevy Volts for 250k each until they “Paid back” the loan all the while being paid subsidies to make the vehicles.

    1. Jeep is part of Chrysler, owned by Fiat Chrysler, now merged with Groupe PSA (Peugeot) to be called Stellantis, whose ‘corporate seat’ is in Amsterdam.

      Not GM. Probably worse.

    2. Chrysler, not Chevrolet.

      Chrysler is the one where the Obama administration screwed over investors to make it possible for Fiat to buy the company.

  16. I didn’t watch, and while I’m glad that Brady won because that sticks it to the woke crowd, I am am very happy I didn’t watch because I might just have shot my TV during that commercial if I had to see it. Springsteen was an ass in the 80’s and he’s just become even more of an ass over the years. Jeep can eff off now too. Here to forgetting your target audience. “Go woke, go broke.”

  17. I watched it before reading the rant, but knowing there was a rant I was looking for issues. It was all pretty bland but I basically agreed with the words, although the “Citizens/Servants” thing was WTHish. But that final screen….
    ReUnited? By who? How? And it just sounds Orwellian.
    And the red star? Oh my freaking heck, what kind of moron thought that was a good idea. Especially with a disfigured name around it.

    1. Maybe it’s the Red Star of the Solar Federation?

      Look around this world we’ve made
      Equality our stock in trade
      Come and join the Brotherhood of Man
      What a nice contented world
      Let the banners be unfurled
      Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand…

      1. Boy, that song’s become prophetic lately, hasn’t it?

        “Reunited States” sounds dystopian.

        “In the aftermath of World War IV, the Reunited States become a major power in the North American Zone . . .”

      2. What a Rush… Yeah “Attention all planets of the Solar Federation. We have assumed control. We HAVE assumed control.” ( as in the ones that left have returned with vengeance and fire in their hands.)

          1. Based on Ayn Rand’s “Anthem”, to complete the pedantry. Neil wrote some of my favorite stuff during his Rand phase.

        1. “We’ve taken care of everything
          The words you read, the songs you sing
          The pictures that give pleasure to your eye
          It’s one for all, and all for one
          We work together, common son
          Never need to wonder how or why”

  18. I’m not sure what vibe Jeep was going for, but to me what they got was a bleak, depressing, almost post-apocalyptic fiasco with Springsteen driving his Jeep through an unpopulated, monochromatic landscape. Empty streets, empty restaurants and houses, an empty church in a cornfield . . . It’s like one of those MBAs at Larry’s imaginary board meeting was throwing up landscape imagery from “Children of the Corn,” “The Walking Dead” and “The Road” and saying “Hey, this is our brand!!!” Oh yeah, and the giant communist red star planted in the middle of Kansas. Let’s not forget that. Surprised they didn’t go with the black #BLM fist, actually. And choosing a washed-up rock-n-roll communist who’s spent the past four years denouncing Trump’s voters as racist Nazis and threatening to move to Australia if Trump won re-election is JUST what you want to sell the message of American unity, right? *gigglesnort*

  19. And did anybody else see the commercial for Door Dash with some celebrity leading Big Bird and a gaggle of other Sesame Street muppets through a bunch of small-business stores and restaurants that aren’t allowed to be open anymore because of Kung Flu, and most of which have (outside of Sesame Street, apparently) gone out of business because people like Gavin Newsome, Bill diBlasio, Andrew Cuomo and Christine Whitler shut them down because they enjoyed getting their Stalin on? And wouldn’t you know it, there wasn’t a mask in sight.

    1. Daveed Diggs. Alas, the new actor they have for Big Bird (Carol Spinney retired) sounds like he has a permanent cold.

  20. Most of the commercials I saw were “woke” and it was irritating, nothing like rubbing my nose on how much of a bad person I am for not believing the party line. I was rooting for Brady because the cancel culture was trying to take him out last week and have him beg and grovel for forgiveness…which he didn’t do and ignored their calls for penance.

  21. “We need to appeal to the middle of America. What’s in the middle of America?”

    “Corn?”

    “Racists?”

    Um, Corny Racists?

  22. a Jersey “cowboy” with 2 earrings … the sad thing is it was the exact sentiment President Trump pushed his entire 4 years … one America united … they really are the masters of passive-aggressive behavior …

    1. C’mon, you cannot say Trump pushed “unity” for four years while the whole time calling more than 50% of the country “enemy” and saying they “hate America.” Division was part of his political strategy from the beginning of his 2016 campaign.

      However, the far left did exactly the same thing for the four years of his presidency and irony is lost on them.

      Plus two wrongs don’t make a right.

      1. Bullshit “bothsidesism” President Trump never called “50% of the country” “the enemy” he called the media, news media in particular, the “enemy of the people” (and he was damn right!) and they consequently *acted* like he was publicly raping the statue of liberty while telling Betsy Ross that she was next… because calling them out on their corrupt, lying bullshit was the same as attacking America.

        Lie all you want, the truth remains the truth. And the truth is that the worst thing Trump did to “divide this country” was refusing to bend over and let them lube him up the moment he set foot in the Oval Office. That was his unpardonable sin. Unlike the past “conservative” presidents we’ve had in recent decades…and conservatives since…forever, really…he didn’t beg them for a kindly pat on the head in exchange for (in the interest of maintaining civility and being principled) not complaining about the kick in the balls.

        The left did this. The “right” just let them do it, when they weren’t actively helping, by being a bunch of spineless, feckless cowards, desperate for lefty approval.

  23. anyone see the “Eat Local” ads ? ahhh … last time I checked it was impossible to NOT eat local … I mean you can’t eat on the internet …

    1. The concept of prioritizing locally-grown foods isn’t all bad, and has merit. However. Those ads came across as clueless PSAs by people who don’t actually know anything about agriculture. Most perishables in regular grocery stores, with exception for specialty varieties, already are local.

      1. Not really. No fruits or vegetables are local in the winter unless you live in Florida, California or Texas. the only way to get local meat is from a local meat locker, the rest is all shipped in from meat packing plants, probably not local toyou.

        Of course, your definition of local might be quite different than mine.

  24. The Jeep ad was basically President Trumps message for the last 4 years … but now its a “good” message because a cowboy from New Jersey with 2 earrings says it I guess …

  25. Wait, that was a Jeep ad? I thought it was just another pandering bullshit tonedeaf PSA.

    In seriousness though, what really grates about those things is that 90% of the stuff they’re saying, in any normal context, would be sensible. Come together as a people, be good to each other, emphasize our similarities more than our differences, et cetera. But when that language comes from the exact same people who turn around and say “anyone who disagrees with me is evil or stupid” (which Biden is frankly famous for doing) I just can’t take it seriously at all.

    And speaking of cowboys, anyone else catch how they were used as a shorthand for “uncultured” in that one cellphone ad where the lady is requesting a blind date?

    1. The cellphone ad had Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton – who recently got engaged and she’s been living with him in Oklahoma for most of a year. She was talking to Adam Levine on the phone and they’ve all been mentors on The Voice together in the past. They’re all friends and making fun of Blake is an old in-joke. He’s the first to jest about himself.

      So that particular commercial assumes the viewing public knows who the players are.

      1. Ahhh, okay that makes more sense then.

        Still, as someone who is involved with Cowboy culture, we don’t claim Blake Shelton 😅

  26. When I saw that ad I was like “huh I know there is a message here but I really don’t understand what they are trying to convey” cue the ReUnited America slogan. Oh must be along the same lines as Big Back Better or whatever thing the Blue side is trying to accomplish .

    1. I wouldn’t have recognized Springsteen without being told. Without him as context it’s probably different. Or at least just sort of confusing, dark, and pointless.

  27. Holy crap. You nailed this to one of those fake crosses.

    Write a short with Tom Stranger making fun of these ads and take my money.

  28. This is worse than Cadillac commercials featuring black people — am I the only one who knows[*] that stereotype? (Is this why GM got rid of Pontiac — someone remembered “what it stands for”?)

    [*: but does not actually believe]

    1. Selling your Jeep isn’t going to do much to Fiat Chrysler. They already got their money from you. Or, if you bought secondhand, the original owner.

      Wanna hit them where it hurts? Remember this when you -do- go to buy a new car, and buy elsewhere.

      1. Eh… *waggles hand* maybe. The guy you (generic “you”) sell your Jeep to probably cares more about the “used” part of the equation than the “Jeep” part. I.e. if you hadn’t decided to sell your Jeep, and he was still planning to buy a car, he would most likely have ended up buying a used $OTHER_BRAND, rather than a new Jeep.

        But if a bunch of people all decide “Hey, I’m going to sell my Jeep because I’m disgusted with the company,” then there’s going to be at least a few people who were planning to buy a new Jeep and end up saying “Hey look, a three-year-old Jeep for $10k less than I would have paid for it new? That’s a bargain, I’ll take it.” And then Jeep does lose some sales.

        So it might or might not hurt them; it really depends on the market conditions in your local area.

        But you (Brennen Hawkins, not the generic “you” this time) are perfectly right about your (now we’re back to generic “you”) purchasing decisions for your next car being more important than whether you sell your current car or drive it till it’s worn out.

  29. Currently over 30,000,000 views.
    Grand total of 36,00 like/dislikes.
    I’m calling shenanigans- there’s 50:1 negative to positive comments but 2:1 like/dislikes? Pull the other one- it’s got bells on.
    Those Jeep marketers can learn to code.

  30. Perfection.

    The amazing thing to me about this whole thing: Who mostly buys Jeeps?

    Yeah, I understand that a lot of suburbanite mothers have gotten into purchasing Jeeps to differentiate themselves from the average mallcrawler minivan or SUV, but the largest demographic of Jeep buyers, by far, are dudes. More specifically, dudes who live out in the sticks, areas where they can off-road, or in areas with lots of snow. Mostly conservative, many of them veterans, the majority of them blue collar.

    And Jeep just savaged their primary buyers.

    Way to alienate your customer base, morons.

    1. I fit that profile (USMC) but my understanding was to stay away from Jeep because it was maintenance intensive. My memory is foggy but I want to say the primary issue was their 4 wheel drive?

      Did that change at some point? I always thought it was a crappy vehicle compared to a Ford Truck.

      1. They’ve nosedived since the halcyon days of the CJ7. They became a status symbol somehow, and now they’re crap, and ridiculously overpriced. Personally, I love my Ford F150 King Rclanch. Plenty of space inside for guns and gear, handles great off-road, and it has this thing called a rear window where I could put my CIB stickers and upside penguin sticker.

  31. Heard about this ad and finally tracked it down (you would think they would make it easy to find), and did a brief scan through. Using Bruce Springsteen was a huge flop. A Jersey Democrat trying to reach out to “middle” America? Seriously tone deaf. Then the red star. Come one, the ad department couldn’t be that clueless, right? ( oh nevermind, the ILOH covered that).
    If I ever own a Jeep now it’s going to be a serious old original not a newer foreign owned piece of crap.

  32. My honest opinion… between this, the Tom Stranger rants and all the mini figures, which I think are artfully done, is the reason I am still impatiently waiting for a new MHI novel.
    Of course people tell me that I have a knack for making everything about myself… and yes, I do own a Jeep.

    1. If you actually believe that, then you know absolutely nothing about how writing works. Creativity isn’t a faucet you can just turn off and on. All those things you list are the reason that I’ve remained good and produced consistently for over a decade.
      So now I’m going to take the rest of the day off and do nothing but play video games just to spite you. Sorry. Those are the rules. I have to do that whenever somebody gives me helpful advice about my productivity. It’s the only way you guys will learn. 🙂

      1. Damn it! Now we all have to suffer because dingus can’t bother to take up plastic crack to fill the lulls between novels. Personally, I just wish you were into 40k instead of Warmachine, but to each their own. Just saying, the things you could do with Deathwatch, Space Vampires, and a whole shitload of Earl Harbingers. In power armor. With fricking chainswords. Just saying. About the only stuff you’ve written that I HAVEN’T read yet is your Warmachine stuff, and as soon as I find some, I’ll read it. Maybe I’ll get sucked into the lore.

  33. “And find some dilapidated church built back in the 40s, because everybody knows religious people are too stupid and poor to build anything new.”

    Reminds me of how Hollywood portrays the South – men in white linen suits and apparently air conditioning technology hasn’t managed to migrate there.

  34. I’m a simple man, I drive a vehicle with a stick shift. New Bronco comes with a stick. I think the wokescolds just sold a bunch of new Fords.

  35. “How many crosses do you people need?”

    Well, we do all have our crosses to bear.

    It would kinda help if you would stop BEING ONE OF THEM.

  36. It occurs to me, the ad is woke virtue signaling, rather than directed at “red” USA. It’s for the people who want to feel how magnanimous they are.

    1. You are probably right.

      There must be some crunchy granola types who might have to drive over a speed bump who don’t have a jeep yet.

  37. I was assuming that Bruce Springsteen left off the Upper Peninsula because he’s frightened of Earl Harbinger. (To be fair, I wouldn’t want Earl ticked off at me either.)

  38. To be fair, though, I was actually pretty shocked to see a commercial that at least attempts to appeal to centrism. They could’ve said, “all rednecks are racist”; or “liberals are commie scum”; but instead they at least tried to say, “let’s try and tone it down a little”. Maybe they didn’t do a very good job, but when’s the last time you saw any media outlet run any message other than “the other side is made of 100% demons” ?

    On the other hand, if I can’t figure out what the hell it is that you’re selling until the final 3 seconds of the ad, it’s not a good ad.

    1. How on Earth do you interpret “Hicks and plebes!” as “an attempt to appeal to centrism”?

      Cruel stereotypes are cruel stereotypes.

      1. You know, I watched the original commercial, and I didn’t see “hicks and plebes”. Rather, I saw “generic hard-working rural farmers”. Yes, the imagery was super cliched, but I honestly did not think it was disrespectful. I felt like I could have a beer with those fictional commercial people any day (or a tequila, rather, because I hate beer, so sue me).

        It makes sense to market an off-road capable truck to rural farmers, because they can actually use it. On the other hand, it does not make sense to shoot a commercial without ever explaining what it is you’re selling, until the very end.

        1. “It makes sense to market an off-road capable truck to rural farmers”

          Not really. We have a cotton farm/cattle ranch in Rosenburg, Texas. The land is already developed, there is no need to go “off-roading” or whatever.

          I spent my childhood there in the 70s and all trucks were Ford. A Jeep might as well be a Prius. And I learned to drive on the farm – basic Ford truck with no 4 wheel drive out in the fields where I couldn’t anything but the cattle.

          Maybe other farms are different? For snow? I don’t know. A tractor took care of any 4 wheel drive issues we had. Perhaps this is one of those things where common sense fails – like assuming a military base has a bunch of open-carry, until you realize that all the weapons are locked up in the armories. I just never found a need for 4 wheel drive on our farm. It would only have been something useless that required routine maintenance.

          1. I don’t know much about other states, but here in California, rural roads can be pretty bad; they are often (admittedly, not always) deeply rutted dirt roads. I could not navigate them without 4WD (admittedly, I’m not the best driver in the world, but still).

        2. A. Farmers don’t use modern jeeps. I don’t think I’ve seen a modern Jeep in use on a farm, ever. Old beaters yeah. It’s all pickups and four wheelers for that market. Plus, be honest. There’s no fucking way Jeep actually made a multimillion dollar ad to appeal to the market that is dominated by Ford and Polaris, and at the same time managed to do it in this hamfisted tone deaf manner. Nobody is that gullible. These are professional ad execs. They knew exactly what they were doing.
          B. When pretty much everybody actually from “The Middle” is all in agreement that this ad is clearly fucking bullshit, it’s always nice that I know I can count on you to come in and Libsplain what it really meant and how all these people should feel about how they are represented. 😀

          1. > Nobody is that gullible. These are professional ad execs.

            Yeah, which is how I know they are indeed “that gullible”. When was the last time you saw an ad that was actually good ? Ok, fix that day in your mind — on that day, how many terrible ads did you see ? You might know that farmers don’t use modern Jeeps (indeed, I personally can’t see why anyone would use them), but the ad execs would still like to sell them some. And, of course, they’d love to sell some to city-dwelling Republicans who identify strongly with the farmers while working their white-collar jobs.

            > it’s always nice that I know I can count on you to come in and Libsplain what it really meant

            What I hear is, “burn in hell, Liberals, there will be no meeting in the middle for you !” I mean, yeah, that sounds super noble and everything, but they are mostly saying the same stuff about you. If you slap down every increasingly rare attempt at compromise, it will definitely make you feel better, but it won’t make the country any better — and yes, if there were any Liberals on this thread, I’d say the same thing to them.

          2. Bullshit. 😀
            So this totally wasn’t what all of us saw with our own eyes, or at all what any of us supposed “target audience” understood it to be, and instead of being heavy handed propaganda, it was merely leftist claptrap on ACCIDENT. And your logic behind this is that this multibillion dollar industry is simply bad at their jobs.
            Or we’re all right, and your take is crap.

            And there you go with the whole moral equivalence thing, where the left does something horrible and insulting, and us noticing them being horrid and insulting is just as bad as they are for being horrible. And we should just accept their horrible ways otherwise we’re not united. In fact, we should meet them halfway… with halfway being defined as they change absolutely nothing and we give up whatever they want us to. 😀

            Seriously man, we aren’t that gullible.

          3. > And there you go with the whole moral equivalence thing…

            I’m doing the “meet in the middle” thing. This doesn’t mean that you must wholeheartedly embrace your ideological opponents’ views. It means you agree to live side-by-side with them without calling for pogroms every five minutes.

            Yes, I’m taking the ad’s message at face value, and maybe that makes me naive. However, note that I, allegedly a liberal (though I cannot self-identify as one, nor do I vote Democrat), watched the ad and concluded that it wasn’t meant to insult you. If the ad was aimed at people like me, in order to make fun of people like you, then it failed miserably.

            And, once again, professional execs are actually pretty bad at making ads. It’s kind of like AAA movies in the modern days: everything is done by committee and focus-tested to death, so the result is always some generic patched-together garbage pile.

        1. Well… yes ? “Send the Kulaks to Gulag” is literally the mainstream Democratic Party position right now. “Let’s try and live side by side with the Kulaks instead” is much more centrist by comparison, IMO. It’s not acceptance or endorsement, just a call for the cooling of tensions.

          1. Cooling the mark, more likely. Those cattle cars take some time to get into position.

            Although I gotta say, it saddened me how readily some so-called conservative sites downplayed the stolen election and threw cold water on any call for action.

            Now they are back to writing “you won’t believe what the Left did next!” outrage porn. Instapundit and Hoyt are part of that, I’m sad to say. It smells like a grift, like an NRO-lite op.

          2. If you think that Sarah Hoyt “downplayed the stolen election” then you haven’t read her blog in months, nor her posts at Instapundit. She’s the one of the Instapundit posters who keeps hammering on the fact that the election was stolen, even when some of the others (Ed Driscoll, for example) are trying to downplay it.

          3. “Although I gotta say, it saddened me how readily some so-called conservative sites downplayed the stolen election and threw cold water on any call for action. “

            Lawsuits from deep pocketed corporations targeting bloggers and outlets tend to do that. For just one example, shoot an e-mail to Andrea Widburg over at American Thinker and ask her about it. Platforms telling you to knock it off or they will no longer host you also has the same effect.

            “Now they are back to writing “you won’t believe what the Left did next!” outrage porn. Instapundit and Hoyt are part of that, I’m sad to say. It smells like a grift, like an NRO-lite op.”

            I can’t speak for Insty since I don’t read him much, but you can’t possibly mean Sarah Hoyt. Not only has she maintained that there was “massive” fraud, at risk of being de-platformed, but many – if not most – of her posts lately have been about “call for action”.

          4. “Lol… Sarah is like NRO?”

            “Sarah is too soft on lefties? This may be the first time she’s ever been accused of *that*.”

            That’s not what I said. I have seen her throw out red meat to radicalize her audience, and then try to ban them for asking what Red Line (if any) we have. It feels like she is just posting outrage porn for the clicks.

            I came to know and admire her from reading about the Sad Puppies. But had a bad experience with her that I think showed me her true colors.

            I know you guys are good friends, and I expect you to jump my shit over my opinion, but that was my direct experience. I don’t find her politics to be genuine.

          5. So if I’m understanding this right, based upon your description and my decades of speaking Internet, by “asking what the red line is” that usually translates into some fake name rando in the comments asking us public people who use our real names “why don’t you go on record about the details of what felonies you plan to commit here in public”. And when we fail to do so, we are pussy chickenshit quisling sellout traitor cucks, as declared by the random fake name guy nobody cares about, i.e. “true colors”. Because as everyone knows, failing the arbitrary purity tests demanded of us by internet randos with no reputation and probably no skin is the game is what determines our “true colors”. Also, the fact that you are saying that SHE is “radicalizing her audience” smells of bullshit, because the entire might of the government, Big Tech, and the media beating people over the head isn’t “radicalizing” anyone, but some novelist who blogs shares her opinion (formed by having to live with actual communists in positions of authority) is “radicalizing” people. How dare she?

            But I am sure that she will be as upset to learn that she has failed the arbitrary purity test of an internet rando as I am when I routinely fail them.

          6. I have seen her throw out red meat to radicalize her audience, and then try to ban them for asking what Red Line (if any) we have.

            You’re going to have to provide the link if you want me to believe you. Because I don’t think you’re lying exactly, but I do think you’re 100% mischaracterizing the nature of the interaction you’re talking about. Hopefully because you’re misunderstanding it, and not because you understood it perfectly well and are deliberately mischaracterizing it. But either way, I don’t believe it happened the way you’re portraying it, and if you want me to believe you, you’re going to have to point me at the evidence so I can see it for myself.

          7. That would be exactly what Fen is doing. He was shitting up a post on AoSHQ earlier with this sort of posturing. He keeps expecting people who aren’t anonymous to put up their plans for action, and that should those vague calls for action fail to meet Fenny boy’s Anonymous Internet Tough Guy standards for violent action, we’re all pussies, except of course for him.

            Of course, he routinely fails to make his own manifesto public or even bother outlining what he has done to further the revolution he not-so-subtly alludes to. That’s for other people to risk their ass doing to appease his highness.

            And my guess is that your shit will be jumped because it’s a shitty opinion and not because of anyone’s friendship.

          8. “So if I’m understanding this right, based upon your description and my decades of speaking Internet, by “asking what the red line is” that usually translates into some fake name rando in the comments asking us public people who use our real names “why don’t you go on record about the details of what felonies you plan to commit here in public”. And when we fail to do so, we are pussy chickenshit quisling sellout traitor cucks, as declared by the random fake name guy nobody cares about, i.e. “true colors”.

            No, that’s not me. That was never my intent. I served in Marine Corps infantry, so any fake self-esteem from calling others “quislings” is useless to me, I have as little need for that as you do.

            The “true colors” was about something different, how she treated me as unfairly as her Sad Puppies were. I expected her of all people to know better than to subject another person to that. But I was wrong, she is not who I thought she was. Lesson learned.

            My question about Red Lines is asked in good faith, because for a decade I have heard “keep your powder dry” – which implied we were going try all civil remedies and work within the Rule of Law, and that violence would only be used as a last resort.

            So it was still on the table. But as the Right found more excuses to surrender ground, I began to wonder if that was all a lie. So I started asking people I looked up to what our Red Lines were (if any), because I had begun to suspect that, as with their surrender within the Rule of Law, they were never going to use violence as a last resort outside of it.

            I wasn’t expecting anyone to “go on record about the details of what felonies” they would commit. Answers like “suspending all future elections would cause me to abandon the Rule of Law” or “yes but I am not stupid enough to talk about it on open comms” would have satisfied me and restored my faith.

            Maybe I walked into something unaware. But I have been a regular at Ace, Althouse, and Insty for 20 years and never came across that foul play. Synova here can vouch for me, she knows me from Althouse many years ago. So sorry, but I was not familiar with any history of “anonymous internet rambos” trying to shame you into making dumb confessions on the internet. But even now that I do know of it, I don’t see a way to ask my questions in a way that gets around that. Do you?

            I am not a troll. Hoyt tried to ban me and her software failed, so I promised her I would graciously self-ban, to prove to her my intent was honorable. I have kept my word for over a year now. That’s not the act of a troll, but it has given me no consideration from her, which tells me something else is in play that I don’t yet understand.

            Neither am I an “anonymous internet rambo”. I am a former Marine, Barry Wood, who coined Fen’s Law (my 15 mins) and I asked the question in good faith. And you are reacting to me the same way Hoyt did.

            It’s okay, the friendly fire doesn’t really matter to me anymore. My tribe has been betrayed by people we trusted and respected, the ones that remain are grifting outrage porn for advert clicks, feeding their audience red meat and then punishing us for becoming carnivorous. And I am so tired, having trouble finding people worth defending, even something to live for.

            So your understanding is wrong.

            I guess you could insult me some more, although that will have as little affect on me as it would have on you . I can’t un-see what I have seen: the Right will talk a lot of trash about keeping their powder dry, write 500 word essays lamenting The Fall Of The Republic, post outrage porn about how “you won’t believe what the Left did next!” to radicalize their audience for the advert clicks. But their endgame is to submit. You think this insight gives me pleasure?

            I think the real reason I get these hyberbolic reactions is because people do not want to commit to even having a Red Line, even to themselves, because they don’t want to deal with the shame when that line is crossed and they do nothing. I could be wrong, but it’s the only reason I can imagine that explains the reactions I get for asking in good faith.

          9. Yeah…
            Except I have zero evidence of your “good faith” other than your word that you are acting in good faith. And you’ll have to forgive me if that smells like bullshit after your exceedingly unrealistic sounding description of a friend of mine.
            And you claim that even after 20 years on the political internet that you’ve never seen bad faith actors trying to get public people to cop to felonious intent on the internet (in the hopes of them red flagging themselves)? Even though I’m only a little famous, I’ve seen this hundreds of times.
            So yeah… You are full of shit.
            You can feel insulted all you want. You came into my house, talked shit about my friend (and your version of events sounds very sketchy)and you are upset that I won’t meet your arbitrary criteria of saying what my red line is and clearly state for your record/edification when I’m personally going to start killing people?
            No.. Fuck you, Agent Rando. Nobody is that gullible. Say hi to the guys at Tech Branch for me when you get back to the office. 😀

            In the off chance that you aren’t full of shit, and you are this bad ass champion of freedom, former Marine, who is ready to put righteous boot to statist ass, do you expect some novelists to tell you where the red line is? We don’t owe you shit. But apparently if we don’t satisfy your arbitrary criteria, we’re supposed to just stop talking? Again. No. And fuck you. This is an extremely complex system with a third of a billion people. I have absolutely no idea what is going to push them over the edge. Anybody who claims to have that knowledge is full of shit.

            Your use of the word “radicalize” to describe conservatives/libertarians pointing out lefty bullshit is very telling though. (we obviously can’t talk about bad things happening unless we are willing to set in stone in public which bad thing is going to cause us personally to build a killdozer?) I thought they’d teach you guys better in your UC classes. Feds used to be a lot smoother.

            Look, I don’t know what agency you are with, but I’ve probably got fans there. You can go ask them. I won’t play your stupid fuck-fuck games and my self-esteem doesn’t require me to justify myself to random internet commenters.

            If you feel insulted by this. Oh well. Deal with it, Mr. Good Faith.

          10. “My question about Red Lines is asked in good faith, because for a decade I have heard “keep your powder dry” – which implied we were going try all civil remedies and work within the Rule of Law, and that violence would only be used as a last resort.

            So it was still on the table. But as the Right found more excuses to surrender ground, I began to wonder if that was all a lie. So I started asking people I looked up to what our Red Lines were (if any), because I had begun to suspect that, as with their surrender within the Rule of Law, they were never going to use violence as a last resort outside of it.”

            I should add that it was also to help me gauge if my own set of Red Lines were in line with the people I would be following/leading. Or if I needed to dial it up or down according to their arguments. Or if it would be smarter to simply abandon the fight altogether (assuming they would never resort to violence under any circumstances) and focus on a private life.

            How to know any of this if you get jumped for asking?

          11. Sorry, Agent Fen.
            I’m supposed to believe that you’re this switched on, bad ass Marine, yet you need the advice of NOVELISTS as to when YOU should take action?
            Third of a billion individuals, all with problems and issues, in this country and we’re supposed to know what the magic moment is that’s going to drive a sufficient number of them over the edge so that it’s a revolution and not just something that will be portrayed as some whackadoos and then immediately crushed?
            So in the meantime I need to tell you (and thousands of witnesses) at what point I’m going to commit a bunch of felonies?
            You are so fucking full of shit.
            I can’t possibly imagine why Sarah booted you. 😀

          12. “and you are upset that I won’t meet your arbitrary criteria of saying what my red line is and clearly state for your record/edification when I’m personally going to start killing people?”

            I am not upset as I haven’t asked you to respond to my question – I never asked you what your Red Line was. I was simply explaining why the question was important to me.

            So once again, check fire. I am not going counter-troll you. It’s a lose-lose for me. The only thing I can do is stand fast and hope you see that I am true.

          13. There is no “counter troll”. YOU ARE ON MY PAGE. 😀
            Why would I “see that you are true?” Why would I possibly give a shit?
            By all indications you read like a lot like the CIs I dealt with back when I was a gun dealer, who’d come up to me at every gun show asking if I’d sell them machineguns (no, get fucked, dork). The same guys would go to the dumber gun venders all “Hell Yeah Borther! Let’s stick it to the man! If you don’t fight back against the tyrants you’re a traitor-coward-pussy-cuck! Now will you please saw this shotgun barrel down to sixteen inches for me?” 😀
            You want to stand fast? Go stand fast on your own page and quit wasting my time.

          14. “If you think that Sarah Hoyt downplayed the stolen election then-”

            I didn’t say she downplayed the stolen election, and I don’t believe that she downplayed the stolen election.

          15. “I’m supposed to believe that you’re this switched on, bad ass Marine, yet you need the advice of NOVELISTS as to when YOU should take action?”

            Yes. Civilians are different. I came to know of and admire Hoyt via the Hugo nonsense. She had direct experience with the Marxist Left (not just from childhood) through that, so her opinion was important to me.

            Yours is too (although again I remind you that I have not asked you the question). From reading you over the years, you have very strong opinions about the Left from your experience as a firearms dealer, and I assume you know a lot of vets and LEOs from your time as an instructor. And as an author you must(?) have decent insight into your audience of how many thousands (millions?) of civilians?

            So yes, if I am trying to understand what the civilian pulse is re something like this, the opinion of best-selling novelists would be important to me. At least the ones that share my political perspective.

            But hers is not the only field I went to, I also respected Prof Jacobson’s (Legal Insurrection) adherence to the Rule of Law. As a constitutional scholar I thought his answer would help give me insight. There were also others I respected and admired enough to ask, but I only point them out to say novelist aren’t the only ones I have asked.

            Regardless, if you want to misjudge me and characterize me as some kind of government agent looking for a gotcha quote… I don’t what I can do to break you out of that.

            You really want me to leave? Say the word. I’ll keep mine. Just as I did with Hoyt.

          16. “That’s a lie. Why?”

            No, that’s accurate, Chief. And the “why” has been painfully pointed out to you by the blog’s host in agonizing detail.

            Your inability to wrap that big ol’ brain around it isn’t my problem.

          17. “So yes, if I am trying to understand what the civilian pulse is re something like this, the opinion of best-selling novelists would be important to me. At least the ones that share my political perspective.”

            I doubt you’re some sort of gubmint provocateur, since I’ve seen you posting for years, but Larry definitely has you pegged on being full of shit. You were doing this same schtick on Ace’s blog yesterday, and it certainly wasn’t under the rubric of “I’m just trying to understand, man!”

            You really stepped on your dick with the idea that Sarah is “radicalizing” her readers, while simultaneously whining about the lack of revolution that has failed to satisfy General Fen’s as yet unannounced Grand Strategery.

            Look, you said something stupid and are clinging desperately to it with shitty rationalizations. We get it. We’ve all done it to some degree.

            Just nut up and take the L.

          18. gmmay: “the why has been painfully pointed out to you by the blog’s host in agonizing detail.”

            No, I was asking you why you feel a need to spread lies about me.

            At best, you are making false assumptions about my intent, when I have very clearly explained those my intentions upthread.

            That’s dishonest of you.

            I get that you’re butthurt because I criticized Hoyt, but what little I know of her tells me she doesn’t need you to champion her, and she wouldn’t appreciate you resorting to lies in her name.

            Some of you guys are really no different that the Left, only smaller.

    2. The Eveready Bunny.
      The Cheetos Cheetah.
      Like a Rock
      The Budweiser Clydesdales and the Budweiser Frogs
      Winston tastes good . . .
      Wonder bread.

      I can’t get some of the jingles out of my mind even decades later.

      Countless examples of commercials that showed how to burn their brand names into the consumer mind, but no, they have to make a production out of it and shoehorn the product plug in at the very end.

      Bob Seeger would have been a better fit than the Bruce. Maybe he was asked and declined.

    3. I’ve seen LOTS of half-hearted “appeals to centrism” which, exactly like the Jeep ad, just come across as missing the point entirely.

      You’re not wrong that it’s good to not vilify, but you are wrong to claim that this was a genuine call for reconciliation. It was very blatantly pandering.

      1. Especially when the messenger is someone well-known for being a jerk to anyone who disagrees with him. It highlights all the problems with Joe Biden (the one they keep calling The Great Unifier) who shares a key trait with Trump: mockery of those he disagrees with. Biden is no better than Trump, and arguably worse. And all this talk of “he’s a great centrist unifier of all Americans” is blatant ignorance of why many of us have legitimate grievances with him. “Just shut up and celebrate that he’s not Trump,” they say. “If you’re not happy with Biden and Harris, you’re a bad person who supports bad things.”

      2. Now that I think about it, I don’t recall any broad-based calls for unity after Trump won. I think he pitched it once or twice himself, but that was it.

        I know we have no control over the media or social platforms, but we got outplayed there. The Left put out a coordinated effort to promote their “a bit of makeup will cover that” bs. Why didn’t we? Everyone is too busy with their personal lives?

        I even remember back on FB during 2016 election night. Early in the day my feed was full of libs all with the same talking points about coming together after Hillary won. It was amusing because some of these same women said “F you voters” once they realized they had lost. But it was broad-based PR drive that the Right just can’t seem to muster.

        We’re good at memes. There’s that I guess. And talking a lot of trash about keeping our powder dry as the left stole the last free election.

        1. Not controlling the media is kind of a big deal. Toss in that the federal bureaucracy was busy trying to fabricate a non-case about a non-crime against a duly elected president, then PR messages that weren’t going to get out, or were going to be ridiculously mischaracterized, were probably a wee bit down the priority list.

      3. > you are wrong to claim that this was a genuine call for reconciliation. It was very blatantly pandering.

        As I see it, pandering *is* a kind of call for reconciliation. They’re not saying, “Republicans are all Hitler and they should die”; they’re saying, “hey Republicans, buy our stuff”. Yes, it’s an obviously self-serving ploy, but trade is always the first step on the road to reconciliation. Like it or not, America is divided into two isolated factions right now, and any attempt to bridge that gap is worth noting.

        1. It is, but it’s like how the republican establishment treats dissenters.

          When you win, it is my moral duty to oppose you.
          When I win, it is your moral duty to show unity.

          To actually bridge the gap, you have to have a vision of unity that explicitly isn’t one-sided.

          1. > “as I see it” he libsplained helpfully.
            Whose opinion should I offer, if not mine own ? You’re just being conserva-lazy at this point 🙂

          2. If I was lazy I’d have just blocked you years ago.
            Instead I take the time to poke holes in all your ridiculous arguments you constantly barf up to make excuses for everything the left does.
            I let you stay around because you are useful rhetorical device.

          3. I’ve been blocked from every liberal forum I’ve been on so far, mostly for suggesting that not all Republicans are Nazis; so if you block me from your site for saying the same thing, it’s really no skin off my nose 🙂

          4. Bugs, I am just curious why you are here to begin with. Is it a Jane Goodall thing to see how the apes live? Do you have some idealistic notion that after a decade of being slimed as “racist sexist homophobes” and the last 4 years of being dehumanized as nazi that we will reunite with the Marxist Left and sing praises to Dear Leader?

            Because I think I can save your time re all that.

            BTW, the Marxist Left is… Marxist. I’ve been far-right most my life and have yet to meet a real nazi. So there is no equivalence.

        2. “pandering *is* a kind of call for reconciliation.”

          nope. thanks for libsplaining it, now I’ll try conservasplaining to you what you are clearly not libunderstanding.

          When you repeatedly abuse someone, punch them, kick them lie about them, burn their house down and rape their wife and then ask THEM to apologize so you can “meet in the middle” you are NOT trying for unity.

          If the dems wanted unity they would APOLOGIZE instead of TELLING THEIR VICTIMS to apologize and shut up.

          Bruce springstein himself was active in vilifying and lying about trump supporters to hurt them. So him coming on and saying “hey, you should come meet in the middle” is an obvious farce. If they wanted to meet in the middle they should have had springstein say “hey I’m sorry about all the times I called middle americans nazi’s. That was a lie and I’m sorry. I’ll stop doing that so we can meet in the middle”

          When you are the one at fault and your “effort at reconciliation” only includes you expecting YOUR VICTIMS to give up their grievances and shut up about them, that is not a genuine attempt at meeting in the middle because you are admitting no wrong and offering NO CHANGE.

          ALL of the lefts “attempts at unification” have included the subtext that THEY DID NOTHING WRONG and the only ones to blame for the disunity are those evil nazi republicans who voted for trump. So the message is, SHUT UP and do what we tell you to, so we can ‘meet in the middle’. That isnt meeting in the middle. No one is dumb enough to think it is. Meeting in the middle implies BOTH SIDES give a little, and that is clearly not what is being talked about in this add or elsewhere.

          1. > When you repeatedly abuse someone, punch them, kick them lie about them…

            I understand how you feel, and personally I’m not on board with kicking and punching; however, this is *exactly* what the Progressives say about you. I mean, exactly. Down to the letter. “These Conservatives have oppressed us for too long, now it’s our time to rise up”. Seeing themselves as “VICTIMS” is basically their entire modus operandi.

            I guess the question is, what is your long-term goal ? If it’s to get some sweet, sweet revenge, then sure, continue to demonize everyone who’s not you. It is a perfectly valid strategy in that context. But if you want to establish trade and form a truce between two warring camps, you could start by saying, “you might be evil commie liberal scum, but let’s just agree to sell each other overpriced goods instead of shooting at one another”. You know, baby steps. Historically, trade had done a lot more for long-term prosperity than ideology.

          2. So the left claims republicans abuse them… but meanwhile who is it that is getting deplatformed, spied on, canceled, fired, and not allowed to have bank accounts? There’s a cabal of big tech, media, and megacorps colluding with a political party to label all their political foes as subhuman filth who need to be driven from society… but the right is just as guilty for not accepting their place on the shit heap of history. The bastards.
            Weird.
            It’s almost like the left is engaging in classic abuser behavior, they treat everyone like shit, and then cry about how they’re the victim.
            Oh, but when I point out their super obvious behavior, I’m the one guilty of “demonizing” them.
            Uh huh. Fuck you. 😀
            What is my long term goal? I don’t know. It is out of my hands now. I’m just a pebble in the avalanche. I’ve been trying to warn people for years where this is headed, but the fucking idiots are too full of themselves to listen and it appears that they think they can push and push with impunity, and it will never ever snap back in their face.
            Oh well.

          3. >”But if you want to establish trade and form a truce between two warring camps, you could start by saying, ‘you might be evil commie liberal scum, but let’s just agree to sell each other overpriced goods instead of shooting at one another’. You know, baby steps.”
            Start?! That’s what the non-Progressives have been doing, and have only recently been talking about stopping because trade has been turned into a weapon. But I’m sure that Progressives feel victimized when non-Progressives start talking about the old Tit for Tat strategy. Down to the letter.

            Now, if it turns out that the non-Progressives are indeed the bullies, then it works out well for everyone if the bully stops curb stomping the victim to “establish trade and form a truce between two warring camps.” Peace at last! However, if it turns out that the Progressives are the bullies, then having the victim reach out with the palm branch and say, “you might be evil commie liberal scum, but let’s just agree to sell each other overpriced goods instead of shooting at one another” only results in the victim getting curb stomped again.

            After all, it doesn’t matter who FEELS like a victim. It matters who, in capital-R Reality, is actually the abused, punched, and lied about victim. So your advice, Bugmaster, is lousy, horrible, terrible advice for a victim to take once trade has been weaponized against him. Only the bully can afford to take it, and why would the bully bother while the victim is so easy to curb stomp?

            Personally, my long-term goal is to stop getting curb stomped. It’s also my short-term goal.

            But keep offering up that football, Lucy.

          4. “…this is *exactly* what the Progressives say about you. I mean, exactly. Down to the letter. “These Conservatives have oppressed us for too long, now it’s our time to rise up”. Seeing themselves as “VICTIMS” is basically their entire modus operandi.”

            When progressives can point to “conservatives” (whatever that means) actually oppressing them, you might have a point.

            But it’s not conservatives who are running around getting people fired for wrongthink, deplatforming people by the millions, conspiring to shut down competition in social media, weaponizing the law enforcement and intelligence agencies against political opponents, or talking about, I dunno, fucking gulags and reprogramming tens of millions of Americans in a so-called liberal democracy now, is it?

            Those are all the mainstream positions of the party in power in case you weren’t aware.

          5. “what is your long-term goal ? ”

            To not cover it up with makeup and lie to our friends about running into a door for the 3rd time in as many weeks.

            And to spend more time on the archery range. Aim small, miss small.

        3. “and any attempt to bridge that gap is worth noting.”

          Your dishonest rhetoric reminds me of a Frank Herbert line:

          “When I am weaker than you, I ask you for freedom because that is according to your principles; when I am stronger than you, I take away your freedom because that is according to my principles.”

          You only promote reconciliation now because your tribe is back in power. To have any credibility, the Left should have attempted this during their 4 year temper tantrum as the “resistance”

          I marvel at what circles you must run in where people swallow your bs manipulation. Perhaps they have become so corrupt that they have lost their sense of Truth.

          1. Ugh. I regret the above comment, it was too harsh and unfair of me. My apologies Bugs.

            What did you mean upthread when you said you can’t self-identify as a liberal? Have we assumed your tribe? What do you think you are?

        4. Pandering isn’t in any way, shape, or form a “call for reconciliation”. Pandering is objectifying your audience by reducing them down to their most basic character traits (or at least, what you think their most basic character traits are) and thinking that you can win them over by dangling treats in front of their faces.

          1. My point is that pandering to someone to sell him your merchandise (however overpriced it might be) is miles away from calling for that someone to be thrown into a Gulag. No, it’s not calling for universal brotherhood and peace between all mankind, but it’s a step in the right direction.

            I understand that you’d rather prefer that Progressives quietly gave up and disappeared (or maybe turned Republican), and maybe so would I (minus the Republican part), but perfect is the enemy of the good.

          2. “to sell him your merchandise”

            I think you have misunderstood the target audience. It appeals more to the fantasy narrative the Left has about the Heartland than reality of those that live in it.

            I think it was targeted to the Left, to make them feel good about “reaching out” after stealing the election. And it’s going to take a lot more virtue signaling for them to face their morning mirror – they are still human afterall. To know that your team cheated…

            Kinda like how a card shark wants everyone to be friends for the cab ride home and forget about the pair of aces he had up his sleeve.

            Although, to be fair, since Jeep is now foreign owned, I would be curious to see if the ad agency was also foreign. Is there an easy way to find that?

          3. “since Jeep is now foreign owned, I would be curious to see if the ad agency was also foreign. Is there an easy way to find that?”

            So I did my own research. The ad agency responsible for this catastrophe is Doner, out of Southfield, Michigan. They originated in Baltimore, Maryland in 1937.

            So my suspicion that they are simply out of touch foreigners was wrong.

            Oh, and Jeep is claiming they only pulled the ad because of Springsteen’s DUI arrest, even though that occurred 2 months prior, on Nov 14th.

            “Asked if Jeep knew about the DWI before the ad shoot, a representative issued the following statement: ‘It would be inappropriate for us to comment on the details of a matter we have only read about and we cannot substantiate. But it’s also right that we pause our Big Game commercial until the actual facts can be established. Its message of community and unity is as relevant as ever. As is the message that drinking and driving can never be condoned.”

          4. @Bugmaster:
            I’m not a Republican, so no? I’m actually very much in favor of political plurality. I just don’t like being talked down to, especially not by rude celebrities and advertising agencies who think they “know” me just because of superficial assumptions.

            I get your point that pandering is better than gulags, and I don’t disagree with that specific statement. However, you were suggesting more than that: that I should be happy with what I got. “At least they’re not killing me.” No, but they clearly think I’m an idiot.

            The part about “perfect is the enemy of the good” also indicates that you’re missing my point. I’m not asking for perfection; I’m just asking to not get talked down to.

          5. Pandering is better than gulags?
            Duh. But that doesn’t make pandering GOOD. 😀
            That’s like, do you want me to kick you in the balls, or shoot you in the chest?
            Uh… Neither?
            Nope. You should be happy I merely kicked you in the balls, peasant.

    4. “Maybe they didn’t do a very good job”

      These guys are the NFL Quarterbacks of Madison Ave. This is the 30 sec spot they have dreamed of taking since they first became interested in advertising.

      “Maybe they didn’t do a good job” is far too generous. They KNOW how to message, better than us. These were not mistakes, they were ignorant and bigoted, but they were deliberate. The guys that did the ad are the Pros.

  39. New Jersey Democrat who absolutely hates all Republicans drives to the middle of nowhere to light a candle thanking god that Trump is no longer president.

    That’s going to sell a lot of SUVs.

  40. I wonder if this commercial would have been approved if Chrysler hadn’t been taken over by France’s PSA.

    1. Walton Walker in Korea, 1951, is the accident that comes to mind.

      So now that Jeep has rolled over, politically, who is going to be the victim in the company hierarchy for this atrocity of a commercial?

  41. Larry, That is brilliant. I’m going to share the hell out of this, try to push it into some groups. Not because you need it, but because everyone needs to read this. I’ve read all of your stuff besides Gun Runner (which is next on my list after I finish the new series I’m 4 books into) and have figured out that we have many views in common. This blog post is writing on a par with your Tom Stranger stuff! Thank you. (I’m the guy in the FB and Mewe MHI groups that makes the crossover memes with Justified, Jose Wales, John Wick, etc)

  42. A shame they couldn’t show the dilapidated parts of cities with their 30% homicide spike in the past year, vacant storefronts, and the mom & pop shops that served as activist campfires.

    They can shove that unity right back up where it came from.

    “Let’s meet in the middle, which we define as somewhere slightly to the right of Trotsky.”

    1. Trotsky was a capitalist roader. Didn’t you get the new dictate from on high?

      I think we have conversed on New Discourses.

    2. They play this card because it gets results – too many conservatives have battered wife syndrome.

      We complain about their tactics, but we are the ones who have taught them what they can do without consequence. After a certain point, we are their enablers.

    1. Well the media policy for election coverage was that the incumbent party was Blue and the out party was Red.
      So it would flip back and forth, instead of perpetually dividing the country into the same team colors.

      I think someone in the media got uncomfortable with the red imagery applying to their communism, so they assigned Blue to the Left forever.

      I would also note that from an advertising standpoint, blue is more calming and red is more alarming. Would not surprise me if that was also taken into account.

  43. Anybody that still has a prostate should not even ride in a jeep, let alone buy one…deelighted to see that they have crapped in their Easter Basket…and didn’t we bail them out financially?

  44. That was Bruce Springsteen? The whole time I was watching it I thought, “Who is the genius that thought the SB audience cares what Lance Armstrong thinks?”

  45. Embarrassing and sad that Jeep would adopt this hopeless religion, like a dear cousin who all of a sudden joins the Moonies. If I hadn’t bought the lifetime extended warranty on my Wrangler, I might start looking for a replacement. But we should remember that the people who actually make Jeeps aren’t the clowns in the boardroom.

  46. We watched the ad and we didn’t recognize Brucie. And I commented that this couldn’t be a real cowboy/farmer because he had an earring. Never thought about buying a Jeep and now, I never will.

  47. I didn’t watch much of the game, but I did see this lame excuse for a commercial. My summary:
    “We spent the last four years resisting and being divisive, but now that we’re in power, resistance and divisiveness is terrorism. Buy a Jeep, dumbass.”

  48. Oh my ever loving…Thank you for the laugh sir, that description is priceless and hilarious! It’s also maddening and sickening due to the overall ring of utter truth. It kind of blows me away how utterly oblivious, not only a fairly large segment of our population is, but a seemingly fairly successful auto manufacturer… Holy crap, how can you so completely miss the mark of your own customer base!??? Wow, just wow!

  49. You made me watch a commercial voluntarily. And I even bothered to look it up on youtube. I commend your abilities to influence me.

    ““They voluntarily snow plow their liberal neighbor’s driveways… Just like ISIS.” ”

    I did not get that reference. Is it supposed to make sense or showing the weird ways the blues think?

    I avoid talking about politics today. The whole Red vs Blue is much more fun, if everyone is wearing power armour.

    One thing I have to mention is the cross in the chapel at second 23. It is the most American thing I can imagine. It feels so weird from a secularistic standpoint (says the hypocrite, who pays church taxes). I think the great thing about Christianity is how it can unite different people of all states and denominations. And then we have the cross superimposed with the flag and country of the USA. That was a culture shock. I am happy that I have seen it. Viewpoints that are different from mine are the reason, why I am here.

    Well, and the writing advice is good as well.

    1. The “Snowplow Incident” refers to an Op-Ed in the LA times, where the typical Wokester is first shamed by an unselfish act of kindness by a Trump supporting neighbor at her house in Flyover Land, then plays Moral Equivalence Jenga to convince herself & others that she’s the True Moral Hero of the story.

    2. There was an op-ed recently from someone whose Trump-voting neighbors plowed the author’s driveway as an act of charity. The whole thing was them asking themselves whether they should be thankful, or whether they should assume some ulterior motive, or whether they should simply be grumpy and refuse to be friends until the neighbor “repents” of their political opinions.

    3. Her *covid retreat* in flyover land, with all of her Trump-worshiping neighbors who had a plow and were doing everyone’s driveways and did a great job but normal people don’t DO that, and besides, they only did it because she was white. White people DO things for white people! Also, Farrakhan and ISIS (and I don’t think she specifically said Bin Laden, who built schools) do outreach to communities through charity, so it’s all doubly suspect and probably means that they’re terrorists.

      Honestly, it was worse than you can even imagine.

      1. ‘they only did it because she was white.’

        How does she fucking know that? Did she go around the neighborhood and ring doorbells to count who was white or not? Not to mention who was naughty or nice?

        Of course if the whole neighborhood was white, she would posit that it was because the racist bastards chased all the POCs out of town.

        And if some were POCs, they were either Uncle Toms or otherwise white-adjacent.

        And: How many people can afford to have a safe COVID house out in the country? She needs to check her privilege.

  50. Don’t know if anybody else mentioned this, but news today is that this was the least-watched Superbowl since 2009. Thanks mostly to fuckery like this Jeep commercial, I’d assume.

    Jeeps are rolling turds, pretty much. Get a Ford F-150 with a V-8 in it, it’ll still be rolling long after the Jeep gives it’s death rattle.

    Or maybe get an F-250 with a diesel in it, that’s an actual truck. >:D

    1. I would look for a classic 40 series Landcruiser over any modern Jeep product.
      I used to own a late 70’s BJ-40 with the 3L 4cy diesel, and that was a tough little beast- my neighbor owns it now, and it’s still running.

      1. I know a guy in Sedona who swore by that old Landcruiser. He had three of them, two for parts to keep the third one on the road.

        Better than a Jeep CJ, that’s for sure. CJs used to like to flip upside down like a horse trying to kill its rider. Just checked on gooble, new for 2020 Jeep Wrangler likes to flip over too.

        F-250, not likely to flip.

  51. Springsteen told Australians he was ashamed to be an American and would leave if Trump were elected.

    We all have this Lefty’s number. So when he isn’t on his knees servicing Obama he’s shooting up. Got it Jeep.

    Resistance is futile. Tell it to the Marines.

  52. It’s fucking hilarious that you still think you’re different from the asshole leftist elites in any meaningful way. You both share the same snobbish attitude and instant dismissal of anyone who doesn’t agree with your beliefs and you both have what Bert Kreischer would call “that liberal arts confidence”. They produce idiotic commercials, you produce moronic blog posts.

    You and Springsteen are both self made millionaires who grew up poor and who still view themselves as men of the people, but you still shit-talk him because he’s a liberal and your dumb ass can’t figure out that you’re two sides of the same fucking coin. (I’m not even a fan of his and I knew that much about him so don’t try claim ignorance)

    1. Mew mew mew, whined the Internet Rando.
      1. Oh, my dismissal isn’t instantaneous. I’m well known for going through their bullshit line by painstaking line, pointing out all the multitude of flaws. It’s the opposite of instantaneous. It takes work.
      2. I don’t have liberal arts confidence. I got an accounting degree. 😀
      3. I do blog posts like this for fun. I produce books for a living. Judging by my reviews liberals tend to find them moronic, but they pay the bills!
      4. Yes. I am a self made millionaire who grew up really fucking poor (and unless Springsteen knows what it is like to milk cows, I bet I kick his ass on that one too), but then your bullshit falls apart because I’ve not forgot where I came from. And it’s pretty fucking apparent from this dipshit commercial that Springsteen has.
      5. And then you conclude with some weak ass moral equivalence bullshit argument. But nope. You don’t get off that easy. Both sides suck, yes, but one side is so much fucking worse that it’s ridiculous. And if you are too much of a chickenshit to come out and admit that, and in fact you have to try and guilt shame people into not saying it, then you can fuck right off.

      1. Also, dipshit, if you think Springsteen have gone through some similar life journey as me so we’re equally out of touch with the common man, his net worth is FIVE HUNDRED MILLION. I still fucking work for a living, moron.
        Plus, I live in “The Middle”, my neighbors are all farmers and everybody has jobs (including my entire family). I built a giant ass mountain mansion because I write two or three books a year. Springsteen probably got paid what I make annually in royalties (if not more) to fly on his private fucking jet into Nebraska to do one day of filming and that VO was probably 30 minutes in the studio of one of his many mansions. Probably the one in Florida where he officially resides most of the year in order to avoid paying New Jersey resident taxes, you fucking git.
        You moral equivalence pussies annoy me.
        Don’t point out something horrible because you are just as bad! Oh really? Because remember that time I ran a multi-million dollar tone deaf ad campaign with a Super Bowl spot starring a devout leftist (with a net worth of a half a BILLION dollars) who threw a stompy foot tantrum and threatened to move to Australia if he didn’t get his way in the election) designed to tell half the country that they are pieces of shit who need to fall into line and not act like his side has acted with impunity?
        Uh huh.
        Moron. 😀

  53. AH ha ha ha ha…..
    The official video from the Jeep channel is now ‘Private’.
    I guess they could only massage the ‘likes’ so much.
    The folks who came up with that ad can no doubt find better jobs working on solar panels and such….

  54. Oh man, I figured SOMEONE was going to bring up the fact Springsteen is being charged with a DUI. Jeep couldn’t yank that ad fast enough. Drunk drivers representing the American heartland!

    1. No, they’re busy being cancelled for using the word ‘Eskimo’ in a song. The Canadians especially want their ass. Such an insult to First Nations peoples.

      Oh, wait, that song was penned by somebody named Zimmerman out of Minnesota! Better cancel that bastard too! Oh, he now goes as Dylan? Better cancel that cancel. Maybe we can pretend that Manfred Mann’s version was the original . . .

  55. From a fellow gun loving savage: I agree that Jeep has been making junk for over 20 years, the ad was garbage, and Springsteen is a tool. Also, your work is generally awesome. However, I got to be honest, you kind of came off like a whiny little b*tch in this one.

    1. Let me see if I give a shit about the totally useless opinion of some internet rando who took the time to whine that he thinks I’m too whiny.
      Nope.
      Can’t say that I do. 😀
      Carry on.

      1. You applied brutal sarcasm, not whining. Major difference that some people can’t figure out.

        Springsteen has buried his ‘blue-collar’ Joisey roots so far down they’re erupting in China.

      2. Are these replies even written by a human? They all seem to follow a pattern. Negative reply detected = (foul language) + don’t give a shit x more foul language + rando ^ (smiley face). TG your writing (other than that Dead Six crap) was not so predictable.

        Carry on (with less whining).

        1. Well when the blog comments are stupid and repetitive, of course you get a low energy response. There’s one of me and thousands of you. There isn’t time for me to treat each of you like the special and unique snowflake which you surely are, as I tenderly pat you on the head and explain in small words why your advice about how I should conduct myself is useless and ass backwards.
          Plus I love profanity and smileys. Fucking deal with it. 😀

          1. However, adding a robot script that could auto respond to the stupid life advice comments would be useful and save me lots of time.

            IDIOTIC CRITIQUE DETECTED-
            – (random insult generator)
            – Insert profanity/smiley

            And then when they inevitably respond with mY fEeLiNgS hUrT uR bOoK iS bAd!

            – (paste longer explanation of why it is logistically impossible for me to give a shit)
            – Insert profanity/smiley

            That’s brilliant. Hey Jack, see if there’ s a plug in for that, will you? 😀

    1. No kidding, man. I think this dude has just given us a billion dollar idea.
      Every public figure gets totally useless and ridiculous comments from total strangers trying to shame them into acting in some certain way. And then those people ALWAYS get super butt hurt when you refuse to take their shit. Think of the time they could save if that was automated.
      The market is HUGE! 😀

      1. Btw, I have no feelings, I did not say your writing is bad (except for that Dead Six crap), and referring to yourself as a ‘public figure’ is a stretch.

        Carry on (with less whining and dick measuring).

        1. Dude. Do you always insult people with the first thing you say to them? And do you always get offended when they respond to your rudeness in kind?

          … Actually, every single one of your comments in this thread has been insulting to somebody. So yep, yes, you do. Well, now I know what kind of person you are.

          1. @Imaginos1892 –

            Actually, I am a guy. Though it’s totally fair to guess “woman” when you see the name Robin, as last time I looked it was the 100th most popular name for women in the US, and the 375th most popular name for men. (Don’t remember the raw percentages, only the percentile rankings). I don’t usually bother mentioning it, but since it came up, *shrug* why not set the record straight.

            Edit: Huh. It’s making a comeback as a male name; in 2019, the number of female and male babies given the name Robin was almost identical. Though I’m probably the only one here who cares about that. *grin*

          2. Toughen up, people. By allowing comment on his essays, correia45 invites people to share their opinions. I gave him my honest opinion, and he gave me an honest ‘F you.’ I am not ‘butt hurt’ by that, and I trust he still doesn’t give shit one what I think. He is a big boy and can handle himself.

            My original comment about this piece being ‘whiny’ was not meant as an insult. I stand by that opinion. Anyone who expects an apology has proven my point.

            I will explain, though.

            The world is not fair, people.

            Rich assholes have been with us for ten thousand years, and they are not going anywhere. Deal with it.

            The election is over. Anyone who complains that it was stolen, or even ‘fortified,’ is pissing into the wind. Get over it. Repeating that garbage about ‘30 boxes’ just makes you look stupid and weak. The ‘deadline’ you keep referring to was the 8pm deadline for individual voters to cast their ballots. In EVERY urban area, in EVERY national election, ballots are still being delivered to counting locations well up to twelve hours after the deadline to cast ballots. Think, people. Question everything, especially the things that you want to be true.

            Still not happy? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, and, for shit’s sake, I do not mean resort to violence. Things are nowhere near that point, and it would destroy the country. Find a candidate you can support and do that. If you can’ donate money, volunteer your time. Bare minimum: vote. If you didn’t vote in the last election, you have no right to bitch.

            Anyone who still supports DJT is freaking insane. He was, is, and will always be a slick NYC con-man. He never gave a shit about any of you, and he never will. People who still support him are worse than the idiots who kept investing money with Bernie Madoff after he was indicted.

            For the love of God, DJT pardoned freaking Steve Bannon after that scumbag spent $1M of the ‘We Build the Wall” money on hookers and donuts. When they arrested Bannon, he was on a $35M yacht owned by his ‘business associate,’ Guo Wengui, who is a fugitive on charges of (no surprise) criminal fraud. DJT decided not to extradite Wengui because he was (and still is) a dues paying member of the Mar-a-Lago Resort.

            I don’t mean to imply that anyone else running our broken system is any better, but anyone who thinks DJT is looking out for them is downright delusional.

            Finally, anyone who calls me ‘woke’ or a libtard for telling it to you straight is doing exactly what those a-holes do: fight facts with labels. Believe it or not, I am not on ‘their side,’ I am just sick of hearing and seeing ‘my side’ act like whiny little bitches.

            Carry on.

          3. Hmmm… I take the weekend off, come back, and this dude is still digging his hole.
            Oh yeah, I have comments, and I’ve been reading them for a very long time. Which is why your cliched tricks are so painfully obvious to me.
            “DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, and, for shit’s sake, I do not mean resort to violence”
            But he doesn’t mean people like me with huge audiences should TALK about it either, because that would be “whiny”.
            Heh, you disingenuous fuck. 😀
            Then insert a bunch of paragraphs about Trump, even though his quality has fuck all to do with the topic of whether democrats cheat or not. (or the original topic, because it was just a recent and glaring example of why the flyover right doesn’t trust the elite left). Thanks for the education, Lincoln Project
            The get educated bit is fucking hilarious considering how much I wrote about how auditing processes normally work (educating my giant audience) right after the election (and how what we did do would have been unacceptable in any other industry or professional endeavor). Also, your bullshit about the cut off times proves that you don’t know fuck all about the actual incident I’m talking about. (Hint, it was a FOIA request that just went through last week, that shoots down all the of the left’s previous excuses about an event that had a bunch of affidavits of wrongdoing related to it, and then the reporters who reported it immediately got deplatformed by Big Tech. Shocker.)
            So basically, fuckface here shot for the typical, weak, drive-by dismiss/shame attempt, failed miserably. And here we are a week later and he’s still digging.
            Pathetic.
            The “do something” is more dishonest drivel. It’s just a tool to try and shut people up. Because talking is part of doing, and fuckface here doesn’t know anything about what any of us are doing anyway. But if you were doing something else, this shitbird would probably waltz in and tell you not to do that either, because of reasons he pulled out of his ass, and then he’d “helpfully” explain why you’re bad for doing it.
            “Toughen up” is commonly said by the dipshit who said obvious dumb shit and got mocked for it by the audience. See, the problem isn’t that he said stupid shit, it’s that we REMARKED on his stupid shit, ergo, we are the problem. 😀 It’s a very obvious and boring internet manipulation strategy. Moron says dumb shit. Moron doesn’t get the reaction he expected, so moron cries about how the audience is “triggered”, “crying”, “whining”, whatever, because they think he’s a fucking dope and they’re laughing at him.
            Nope. I can say with complete dispassion that you’re clearly a dipshit who engaged in some obvious repetitive manipulation tricks, but you suck at it.
            Now you should find a new hobby, preferably elsewhere. You’re shit at this.
            Because I’ve already predicted the next things you’ll say (again, been doing this a long time) and they’re all boring. Plus, it’s only worth my time to respond when there’s a sufficient audience (I don’t give a shit about the willfully dishonest/ignorant, I respond for the other readers) and most of them have moved on. You should too, because nobody gives a shit about your dumb ass opinion of how we should feel or what we are allowed to talk about.
            Fuck off. 😀

          4. This rant about Trump, the elections etc. is all well and good if not for a couple of tiny little details, namely (a) the original post makes no mention of Trump or the elections, let alone resorting to violence, and (b) the actual issue described has nothing to do with them either. The inability of the left-influenced businesses and media to understand any viewpoint to the right of Marx is a longstanding phenomenon, one merely made more apparent by the incessant gnashing of teeth over the past five years (and counting, if the latest shampeachment is any indication).

            Same goes for millionaire celebrities’ half-baked attempts to appeal to “flyover country”, while otherwise openly detesting anyone outside their cliques. Take it from someone who occasionally works in those circles – these people live in incubators. As in, fully enclosed, fact-proof, logic-proof, common-sense-proof virtual environments, where their opinions are never questioned and their views never challenged. And they’ve lived there for decades. So when they decide to get political, and especially when they try to speak to and for all sides, you get the raving lunacy that’s the topic at hand.

          5. Oops.

            I should have remembered Robin Williams, and Robin Atkin Downes. (Byron in Babylon 5)

            ‘Redneck’ is still a whiny troll, though.

          6. Lol. If I had made the same mistake, you all would have ‘woke’ mobbed the shit out of that.

          7. For the record, no, I would have corrected you in the same polite terms as I did Imaginos had you made the same mistake.

            Now, since in your 9:49 AM comment from Feb. 15th you indicated that you seem to value plain speaking and hearing people’s honest opinions, here’s my honest opinion, as politely as I can put it:

            Wow, dude. Not everything is about you. Get over yourself.

            This will most likely be my last response to you, as so far you’ve only posted one comment of substance (the same 9:49 AM comment I mentioned) and I don’t expect your reply to this to contain any more substance than your other comments. So I’ll let you have the last word, unless you say something else that actually contains factual matters that can be argued about or rational arguments that can be debated. If no such substantive reply is coming, then I guess this is good-bye.

        2. Well, actually no. According to the legal definition of the word “public figure” (as per my lawyer while looking into the possibility of libel/slander suits against various newspapers and entertainment websites) I do.
          You ignorant little shit.
          Mew mew mew “whining”! cried the random stranger who’s been posting on my page for a week because I won’t heed his unsolicited life coaching. 😀
          Also, you must have missed the posts about my brief career as “Lord Humongous”. Trust me, twerp. I’ll win on the dick measuring too.

          1. Keep measuring that little d, correia45.

            “My HUGE audience… I’m a PUBLIC FIGURE BRO, my LAWYER SAID SO!”

            “Now I’m going to act like I know EVERYTHING about election audits. See? I’m EDUCATING these idiots that, like me, prefer to whine about problems they don’t really understand and don’t have the patience and guts to actually do something about …
            Rich people look down on us … Whaaa!
            Stop the steal …. Whaaaaaaaah!
            30 boxes … Whaaaaa!
            The media are sooooo scummy and dishonest … WHAAAA!
            Mega-corporations BRO… Whaaaaaaaaah!
            Did I mention I was interviewed by Hollywood In Toto?! They are, um, a HUGE deal in the media that I claim to hate. Seee! I’m a PUBLIC FIGIRE!”

            Somehow, I expected better. I got down in your hole of self pity and insecurity and said ‘the top is that way.’ You responded:

            ‘“No way BRO. How dare you question me!? I’m a public figure! My lawyer told me so! All these people just cant get enough of kissing my ass, so I got that going for me, too! I’m gonna keep digging. All these people agree … we are gonna reach the other side of this hole someday! So fuck off!”

            Fair enough. If this is the best you all have to offer, I am clearly in the wrong place.

            B’bye!

          2. Lol. 😀
            What an angsty bitch.
            My audience is rather large. Period. Legally speaking, according to libel law, I’m a public figure. Period. (that definition is what saved The Guardian from having to write a check) If that hurts your delicate feelings, oh well. Sucks to be a diphsit.
            You’re the random nobody still having a temper tantrum a week later on some writer’s blog. Shrug.
            All your whaaaas appear to be things I’ve written about this week, so I’m guessing the “whaaaa” is the noise you make when I keep talking about whatever I feel like despite your barking for me to stop. 😀
            And I did just get interviewed by Hollywood in Toto and posted a link… I’m not really sure what’s controversial about that, considering that’s the sort of thing writers put on their blogs. Unless you’re trying to say that Hollywood in Toto (the specifically non-left outsider entertainment blog is part of the media, ergo I’m a hypocrite for doing an interview with them? It’s hard to tell what you’re getting at because I’m not fluent in Dumbfuck.
            But you got one thing right in all that. You’re clearly in the wrong place. The drooling moron section is over there.
            Toodles. 😀

          3. But place your bets everybody. Will he stick the flounce?
            Odds are no. Dipshits like this have to shout Bye and angry stomp off at least four times before it finally sinks in how dumb they sound and they finally sulk off 😀
            Though personally I hope he sticks the flounce, because he’s very boring.

        3. Says the guy waving his little e-peen around a comment section.

          But I really like the “I’m not saying the stuff I’m clearly saying” bit. Morbidly fascinating.

  56. Mr. Correia,

    I have been saving my nickels for years to buy a bigger SUV. March I will hit the amount to buy in cash. Was looking at a brand change, the top end of the Grand Cherokee line. A real splurge, possibly the last vehicle I ever buy, since I run them 300,000 miles before I start looking again.

    I never watch Doof-ball, since they went Joke. Thus missed that commercial.

    You just saved me a very expensive punch-line.

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