Why Facebook is Super Dumb Part II – The Freedoming

Larry Correia and his waffle maker being freed from Facebook Gulag by Krasnovian freedom fighters. 2019 colorized

I write this as I am being whisked away from Pinelandian airspace in a helicopter piloted by a manatee.

My 24 hour Facebook ban is over. Luckily Big Brother was there to protect us from such dangerous violations of community standards as pretending to be one imaginary country while talking trash about another completely imaginary country.

Though if you look on Facebook, my fans went nuts and had a lot of fun with it. They divided into camps, Krasnovians vs. Pinelanders and there were SO MANY MEMES. #FreeLarry was trending. My wife organized a benefit concert. And my daughter started telling the story of what I’m pretty sure was Free Willy.  Other brave Krasnovians earned bans for telling the truth about the evils of Pinelandia.  We will eat sandwiches in your honor, brothers.

When you get FB banned you can still read it, you just can’t post. So I kept up on the silliness. I’m glad you guys had a good time.

Of the hundreds of #FreeLarry posts I only saw one lone idiot saying that Facebook was correct in its Orewelling, because though I had been representing an imaginary country (and since we are best known for sandwiches and genocide,then obviously I’m playing the good guy imaginary country), and I was insulting the imaginary people of an imaginary country, I still used a REAL ethnic slur, and thus earned my banning.

I was so perplexed by this comment that I went and reread the thread that got me banned. And he could only be talking about my reference to “Goat Rapists”… So if that’s an ethnic slur, I’m not sure how, because it’s not like Pinelandia has a worldwide monopoly on the practice, so I would be really curious which group of people this bright individual reflexively thinks of when he hears Goat Rapists. Because really, that would say a lot more about him than about me.

(well, and Pine Land is in North Carolina, so there’s that too)

At least it’s not like I used a really serious specific slur, like Fredo.

I can only hope that this issue does not further flame tensions between our two nations. I would hate for there to be a repeat of the Atropia incident.

The Super Dumbness Continues, Mike Glyer Edition
Another Example Why Facebook Is Super Dumb

56 thoughts on “Why Facebook is Super Dumb Part II – The Freedoming”

  1. Epic pic! I loved following the feed on Hunters Unite. Never a dull moment being part of that group and the rec room. Can’t wait for the next #able topic.

    1. OOoooooOOOOoooo! That… That’s a BEAUTIFUL idea! I’m going to set up candles and pray to the altar of St. “PleaseLarryWriteThisStory” 😉 LOL

  2. So much fun, to be honest, the MHI gang being unsupervised for any length of time seems to be just a bit dangerous.

    but S O M U C H F U N

    1. The MHI gang are humans. Humans are more than just a bit dangerous. Allowing your species to go unsupervised has been a major mistake.

      1. Supervising them is even worse. They get sneaky.

        Ever try to pick up a melon seed? The tighter you squeeze, the further they fly when they break free.

  3. I think Larry’s incarceration was a false flag operation by the International Ruminant Love Association to punish him for his “goat rapist” remark. Because even ruminant lovers have standards, and I’m sure it would irk them to be associated with Pinelandian atrocities.

    1. Actually, it begs the question of how many goat rapists are employed by Facebook’s Trust and Safety Committee.

    2. Ahem. If so, I must inform you (all) that my kind had NOTHING do with this. My personal opinion is that FaceBook should be nuked from orbit. Twice. And then we need to get SERIOUS about removing that infestation from the face of the earth.

      1. Please, PLEASE don’t nuke FaceBook from orbit! FaceBook WHQ is less than a mile from my house. I agree with your general opinion, but would really like to continue living where I am…

  4. I mean…I can think of, offhand, at least a dozen cultures/countries/groups that have been accused of raping goats over the centuries. Or sheep-raping, in the case of my Scottish ancestors…

    (The sister of a friend used to carry a little stuffed lamb with her to Ren Faires and would “voice” it crying out “Daaaaady!! Why did you leeeaaaave us?!?” to passing men in kilts. It was hilarious.)

    1. As a Scottish-American, I assure you that I will be Highly Offended as soon as I stop laughing.

      I still remember my brother filking ‘The Killer Sheep Of The Orkneys’ many a year ago…

  5. Several sources swear they saw Cookie Monster in the minutes leading up to the Atropia Incident. Makes you wonder how much truth there is to the “official” explanations.

    1. Fiddle Faddle Komrade! There’s no cookies involved so CM wouldn’t bother to stir himself to action for that one.

      1. cookies ice cream sandwiches…
        ever see big blue with a brain freeze? Worse than telling Ernie to listen to the Count count again!

  6. Glad are we to see the safe return of our dear comrade. Many sandwiches will be eaten in the honor of his return and for our poor fellow banned comrades!


  7. “And he could only be talking about my reference to “Goat Rapists”… So if that’s an ethnic slur, I’m not sure how, because it’s not like Pinelandia has a worldwide monopoly on the practice, so I would be really curious which group of people this bright individual reflexively thinks of when he hears Goat Rapists. Because really, that would say a lot more about him than about me.”

    When you hear the dog whistle, then you’re the dog.

  8. What if one merely -licks- the goats? Would that be better? Asking on behalf of the weird guy who stands directly beneath the street lamp at 3 in the morning, muttering to himself and swatting at moths.

  9. I was at Atopia. You don’t want to know what really happened. The only other thing I can say is that there ware _no_ good guys.

  10. I’m looking forward to the reaction from Toni Weisskopf when Facebook sends Baen Books an invoice demanding a commission on the 20% increase in sales of Larry’s books due to the publicity from his banning.

  11. Wait a minute, are you brandishing an Assault Waffle Maker there? Does it incorporate scary features that make SJW’s faint? Have you bypassed the thermostat, allowing it to reach extreme temperatures and contribute to Global Warming?

    Don’t be surprised if you get a visit from the BATFW after posting that inflammatory picture! (Really, 0bama signed a retroactive Executive Order yesterday placing Waffle Makers under their authority)

    Waffle on!

    1. I’m pretty sure it’s got the shoulder thing that goes up. That’s the most deadly part of the assault waffle maker.

      1. The thing that makes Krasnovian sandwiches so special is that the use a traditional Krasnovian Sandwich Press, which the uncivilized mistake for a waffle iron.

        One might say it is somewhat like a panini press, but that one would be wrong! The mechanically inept Italians could only get manufacture their knockoff version with shallow ridges in a single direction, while the noble Krasnovian Sandwich Press has gloriously deep and sharp lands and grooves in perfect 90 degree orientation, demonstrating superior engineering and manufacturing prowess!

        Also, I’m not on the site where one books one’s face, so I could not contribute to the righteous defense of Krasnovia. Day after day, I am reassured that I have made the right decision never to open an account.

      1. That would be a most excellent reason, Komrade. These monies are necessary for all of the waffle iron accessories!

  12. And now, Margaret Dumont will sing the Krasnovia national anthem. (“Duck Soup”, to complete the Fredonia – Sylvania transition)

  13. I must say, the Krasnovian freedom fighter in the photo is dressed very stylishly. I didn’t realize that camouflage could go so well with the dark pants with stripes like it does. The brown low-top shoes also make a striking contrast with the dark grey gas mask. Well done, I must say.

    1. Track suit is formal wear in Krasnovia! Is Freedom Fighter in Tuxedo pants for show respect to Glorious Leader of Waffle SS.

  14. I know, I’m throwing logic at a problem of irrationality.

    It is impossible to make a real ethnic slur against an imaginary ethnicity.

    Obviously Facebook doesn’t hire people who have any concept of logic. I wonder if they’d notice if FB paid them with Monopoly money?

  15. This goat attraction might not be as uncommon as one might think. The core body temperature of a goat runs about 101.5-103.5°F.

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