As a rule of thumb authors should never respond to their negative reviews on Amazon. No matter how stupid the review, that is the customer’s opinion. But sometimes I just can’t resist. The following are all one stars for my first novel, Monster Hunter International. And yes, I did actually post these comments.
1.0 out of 5 stars
Sorry, I don’t believe in Vampires of any sort or werewolves or orks or fairies. I read the book because it was free, and I deleted any requests for future Monster Hunter books.
AUTHORS NOTE: That is because it is fiction.
1.0 out of 5 stars
15 year old me would give it 4 stars. So, there’s that. Kudos.
I had to stop reading when my eyes rolled out of my head.
So what you are saying is that 15 year old you was way cooler than you are.
1.0 out of 5 stars You will love this book if you are Glenn Beck
Completely agree with all of the one star reviews here. You will love this book if you are Glenn Beck.
Then it would be very thoughtful of you to give Glenn Beck one of the nice leather bound editions for Christmas.
1.0 out of 5 stars Give it a skip
Want to read a long novel about an unrealistically humble badass who turns out to be the chosen one, complete with love at first sight, getting the girl in spite of the stereotypically obnoxious other guy, the most cliché monsters you can think of, and the libertarian gun-nut author reminding you of his political views every three pages? Then you’ll love this book.
AUTHORS NOTE: Holy shit. You make this book sound awesome.
1.0 out of 5 stars Should have been a comic book
Monster Hunter is great if you are a 12 yr. old boy, hooked on graphic, gory video games and your mom says you need to start reading. Just don’t do a book report on it for school.
AUTHORS NOTE: Great book for young adults. Gets youth to read. Would make a great comic book. Thanks!
1.0 out of 5 stars I do not recommend reading this book.
This is not a good book. I am a huge fan of urban fantasy. I’ve read all the Dresden File books, I’ve watched every season of Supernatural. I get it. This book reads like the revenge fantasy of an angry 14 year old. Yes there are monsters and guns, but it’s tied together with a pathetic, loathsome main character. I couldn’t finish it. The cover art is the best part of this book.
AUTHORS NOTE: Luckily Jim Butcher must enjoy the revenge fantasies of 14 year olds, because check out his Monster Hunter International short story in the upcoming Monster Hunter Files anthology.
1.0 out of 5 stars This book reads like a bad Dresden Files fan fiction written by a …
Awful. Truly, stunningly awful. The characterizations are bland and frankly nonsensical, the plot is slow, and the author describes the guns in terms of makes and models and it is still the single most detail he puts into anything in the book. This book reads like a bad Dresden Files fan fiction written by a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Which, come to think of it, is precisely what it is.
AUTHORS NOTE: If you love Dresden Files, check out Jim Butcher’s short story in the upcoming Monster Hunter International anthology for right wing conspiracy theorist gun nuts!
1.0 out of 5 stars Don’t bother
Poorly written and edited. Stick-figure characters, bad plot. I suppose if you’re really crazy about gun stats it might be worth reading – nah. Better to get a subscription to a good magazine.
AUTHORS NOTE: For a good magazine I would recommend Cat Fancy.
1.0 out of 5 stars Yawn
This book is full of transparent characters and situations. Every plot point and joke is telegraphed pages ahead like the worst of a SNL skit. I’m not sure why it gets so many good reviews or even why it was published.
AUTHORS NOTE: It was published in order to make obscene sums of money. But I too love SNL, so thanks for the compliment!