Possibly the Most I've Ever Insulted an Idiot on Facebook

700+ comments? Yes. I know it is huge, but you will thank me later. ๐Ÿ™‚


So here is the deal. Last night I’m playing World of Tanks on the xBox, I check my phone, and I see that a bunch of different people are tagging me in a Brad Torgersen thread. Then I get PMs saying that I really need to check this Forest idiot out. My fans have this running joke on FB about how you “Release the Correiakin!” on doofuses. That many requests, you’ve got to look, and I find a thread where some dude is mansplaining why republicans hate women.

Whoa… This one is special. Within seconds I can tell this is just one of those Terminator style libprogsย https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu0rP2VWLWwย who absolutely Will Not Stop Until You Are Dead! (luckily these are rare in the wild!) From long experience I know that when you are dealing with such a subspecies, there is no reasoning, no debate, and you might as well skip ahead to where you are going to end up going anyway, with lots and lots of insults. ๐Ÿ™‚

So I typed up a big post of insults during the load screens of like ten games, then posted it, thinking I’d just go to bed. But then he had to keep posting, and the comic opportunities were too great.

Yes. I know the thread is huge, but honestly you can skim through most of it. I beat him like a rented mule WITH a baby seal! By the end I had GK Chesterton, Lao Tzu, Martin Luther King, and Ghandi beating him with pillow cases with bars of soap in them like that scene from Full Metal Jacket! One of my favorite parts was a detailed step by step explanation of how to use this Obamaphone to look up my name. Even Nick Searcy was shocked by the level of stupid on display.

Seriously, this thing goes beyond internet trolling. It was a live action short story! Don’t think of it as a long FB thread, think of it as Performance Art.

I shed a single manly tear.

And this morning, hours after everyone else went to bed HE WAS STILL POSTING! ๐Ÿ˜€

Trust me. Go look.

The Drowning Empire, Episode 65: End of the Journey
Shattered Shields - Available Now, with a story from my new fantasy series in it

162 thoughts on “Possibly the Most I've Ever Insulted an Idiot on Facebook”

  1. Yeah, that individual has had some epic “conversations” on a couple of folks I either follow or am friends with FB pages. Not doing his side any good IMO, but I’m another knuckle dragging conservative in his lights.

  2. Holy shit, Larry. “You go home, yell at your five cats, then masturbate furiously into your shame pillow while watching episodes of Girls on HBO, before passing out in a puddle of Thunderbird.”

    That was…. just… damn.

  3. I feel honored to have watched that unfold….and it was totally worth spewing scotch all over my computer after you posted the instructions of how to look up a post on his phone–! That was like watching an aircraft carrier bear down on a somali pirate lorry….and being fairly isolated in the land of damp-hand hippies, it was refreshing and energizing as well.

  4. What you did to him should have it’s own phrase:


    The ILoH’s approved method of handling such types on the internet.

  5. Spent my morning reading that thread instead of writing (NOT a good thing when that’s your primary source of income). Holy freaking crap!

    I thought it was cute that he tried to fisk you though. It’s so cute when the mentally impaired entities like to pretend they’re human. I mean, mentally impaired humans form better arguments than old Forrest did.

  6. I stopped reading at the point when some idiot invoked the Big blue, sociopathic cookie eating freak.[who shall remain nameless from my lips. don’t anyone ELSE invoke his name either] Before said sociopath let off a big explosive in the room

    1. Luckily, CM isn’t a mindless killing machine. He just seems that way because of the carnage left in his wake, but he knows his own.

      Trust me though, finding out your one of CM’s “own” is even more disturbing than finding a ville he’s given his “special attentions” to. Guys I know still can’t sleep, even twenty years later.

      1. I mean, just look at how people talk about him in the http://coldservings.livejournal.com/55352.html thread. I can diagnose half a dozen cases of CM-induced PTSD just from the posts in that thread, and I’m not even trained in this stuff. You do NOT want Big Blue mad at you, you really, really don’t.

        OTOH, you really DO need to read that thread to find out what he and his buddies are capable of. Fair warning: remove any drinks from mouth before clicking that link.

    2. The Big Blue Bloodletter is hyper-effective, but he usually practices target discrimination… usually. [EVIL GRIN]

  7. Larry, that was awesome…but stop bringing cats into this or I’ll throw my 27#, five-of-his-six-ends-are-sharp, pissed-off tuxedo at you. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Although if we’re talking about the animals he brings into these arguments, I really wish he’d stop using the baby seal clubbing metaphor. Because that’s a pretty horrible, sad thing. Maybe he could use some other animal for his metaphorical clubbing? Something that won’t try to inspire sympathy in me. Something that’s not adorable and innocent. The people he goes after usually do not deserve to be compared with something adorable and innocent.

      1. Someone needs to throw together a cartoon of a gigantic pissed-off, buffed-ass seal hefting a tetsubo standing over a greasy SJW-shaped stain on the floor. Bonus points if it’s a female seal.

      2. Shawna, don’t let the big sad eyes fool you: that’s just protective coloration, like what a brown recluse uses. A baby seal will cut you. Why do you think all those Canadians travel so far to an even less hospitable place than they came from? They don’t want the little bastards showing up in Toronto, is why.

  8. I think I have become Larry’s poster child for “Successful Professional Woman Working in a Man’s World Who Rejects Your W.o.W. Narrative With Extreme Prejudice”. Some stupid libtard tries to lecture ME – ME! – on the (non-existent) gender gap and the (non-existent) pay gap? Prepare to be disemboweled, you jackwagon.

    1. Jen, it is okay for this white man to mansplain things to you, because he is an enlightened SJW, and you are an ignorant, self hating sellout tool of the white male establishment. That means he has more SJW cred, and knows more about the female experience than you do.

      Now shut up, little missy, and get back in the kitchen, and let the enlightened men tell you what you think. Because that is what feminism is all about.

      1. Yeah, that attitude that liberal men have really irritates me. Never in my life have I made less than I would have if I were a man. Yet the liberals want to tell women what they think, what they feel, and what they experience, and if you as a woman say that you do not think/feel/experience those things, they dismiss you out of hand, usually throwing some sexist/insulting comments your way. Ditto for ethnic minorities and people with physical disabilities.

        I recently tried to read Scalzi’s new book. The one nominated for all those awards. I couldn’t manage it. Among other things, it tried to convince the reader that people who were, because of a disease, completely unable to have any control over their bodies, whose physical bodies were literally useless lumps of flesh that had to be constantly tended by nurses, were in fact to be celebrated as a new nation of people like unto Native American tribes and anyone who tried to cure the disease was a hateful, racist bigot. I’m not even exaggerating.

      2. Yep, liberal white men sure do love to tell women how much they’re oppressed by conservative white men. Apparently to liberals, “caring liberals” by definition cannot be sexist. Like how to them blacks by definition cannot be racist. They have trouble with concepts like logic, equality, and definitions.

        One other thing that annoyed me about the facebook thread is how the troll kept talking about “women’s issues” and how Republicans are failing on those issues. But he didn’t really define what he meant by “women’s issues”. There’s this concept in the liberal mind that all women should necessarily be in favor of abortions and subsidized birth control–never mind that to a whole lot of women (and men) those issues are actually about child murder and infringement of religious freedom.

      3. The plot is a murder mystery, but yeah, that’s basically what it’s about. And as usual (in my experience with his books), the characters are totally dull and uninteresting. I don’t think Scalzi’s ever written a single character I like or care about in the least. Unlike Larry, who writes fricking amazing characters.

      4. I am not a successful individual, I am an older woman with a bottom level dead end blue collar job. I am also a neopagan. Well, I’m pretty much everything which should make me into a liberal poster child – as a representative of one of those poor little people they want to save. Or say they want to save.

        The problem is I refuse to co-operate, and dare to have opinions they have not approved. And that can bring the full force of… well, damn it, these nice people sometimes seem to have the tendency to behave as their own worst examples of these legendary patriarchal privileged rich white males, telling me and my kind, in one way or another, to shut up and bow to my betters. Because what would I know, I’m just poor uneducated blue collar trash. Presumably I have been brainwashed by the evil right wingers. Typical idiot, undermining my own interests. Those people who just don’t have the brainpower to think for themselves.

        Oh, those poor saints, what they have to struggle against.

  9. Sweet mercy, that had to be one of the most delicious excoriations I’ve had the pleasure to read. Bless him, the poor thing doesn’t know that it is unwise to go bear hunting with a short stick and that it is far wiser to lay prone and play possum after that grizzly bear has mauled you. No wonder he moved away from Texas. We Texas women do not take kindly to a beta male attempting to school us on what is in our best interest.

      1. I don’t need your list! Don’t you know how inherently discriminatory lists are? I mean, they put one thing in front of the other! That’s classist and wrong!

        But back to Moon Ferrets, YOU CAN’T HIDE THE TRUTH LARRY!

  10. Oh man that was awesome. Spent the last hour or two giggling over that whole business. On a side note, is there somewhere I can by a shirt that says “Release the Correiakin!”?

  11. That so-called man would be the first one in line to convert and yelling “Allah Akbar”–veiling and beating his women–if his town was took over by Muslim Fundamentals.

  12. I have to thank you, Larry. I read the thread last night, almost in real time.

    I woke my wife up several times, I was shaking so hard with attempted silent laughter. I had to leave the room so that I could finish the thread….

    And I would like to second the motion for the “Correiakin” t-shirt.

  13. Since the loser in question is in Eugene, I have to tell a story. Last week I drove from CA to WA for business, and failed to gas up before hitting Oregon. When I stopped in Eugene, the mouth breather who pumped my gas pointed me to the clerk (an actual white dude with dreadlocks) to pre-pay while he pumped the gas (OR makes it illegal for you to pump your own gas).

    Then I had to go back to the clerk (who looked high) to get a refund back to my card. So I had to pre-pay more than my guess of the tank of the company truck, then get a refund.

    In every other state, I just swipe my card, pump my gas, and go on my way.

    On my way back to CA, I gassed up just north of the OR border and complained about the stupid OR law. The clerk in WA (alert, well-dressed woman) said, “yah, I get people from OR all the time who need me to tell them how to pump their gas.” Stupid Oregonians, turning their people into infants.

    1. Okay now. As an Oregonian, I have to step in here. We prefer to think of it is “we don’t have to pump our own gas”. People from out of state sometimes argue that this makes it cost more. It doesn’t. Gas here is comparable. We just don’t have to get out of the car. And when it rains as much as as it does here, that’s a nice feature. Also, sometimes the people will wipe our windows for us while the gas pumps.

      Yes, when I first drove out of state as a college student and stopped for gas, I had to call a friend to have them explain it to me. I don’t really think that made me an infant. Knowing how to pump your own gas is not a mark of whether or not someone is an intelligent adult. Now, not being able to do it after having it explained to you in a relatively short time, that might be an indication, but most people do pick it up fairly quickly if they have to (such as if they move to another state). But please, do not use not pumping our own gas as an indication of the idiocy of people in our state.

      The experience you describe sounds like an example of individual incompetence and poor customer service. Here’s how it usually works:
      1. You drive up to the pump.
      2. You wait for someone to come to your window. Usually this takes maybe 10 seconds. Yes, when no one comes for quite a while it is frustrating and inclines you to get out and flag someone down, but this is rare–and again, it’s a customer service issue, not a problem with the whole system.
      3. You tell the person what you want and how you’ll pay.
      4. If you’re paying with a card, they swipe your card just as you’d do if you were doing it yourself, but you don’t have to do it. If you’re paying cash, you wait until the end.
      5. Your gas pumps. When it finishes, the gas person replaces the hose, caps your tank, and if you paid with a card you’re on your way. If you pay cash, you either give them exact change (and you’re on your way), or you hand them the cash, and they go inside and bring you back change (unless they happen to have it on them).

      I lived in L.A. for a couple years, and I never cared for having to get out and pump my own gas, especially since it usually involved having to go inside, wait in line, tell them which pump I was using, pump my gas, go back inside, wait in line, pay for it. Because I like to use cash when buying gas because I try to limit the number of credit cards I have.

      (The gas pumping was not nearly so annoying or such a constant irritation as having to pay sales tax, but that’s a separate issue.)

      1. Okay, I will concede that point, but bear in mind that it’s been that way for a long time (as long as I’ve been driving anyway, which admittedly is only about 16 years), and it doesn’t reflect on the people of the state. (Some Googling reveals the law went into effect in the 50s. Even if it was something people voted on, most of those people are dead now.) And really, though I’m generally in favor of fewer laws over more laws, there’s really very little down side with this one. Down side is that sometimes service is poor and people have to wait for people to attend them. Up side is it provides a bunch of minimum wage jobs and is a nice convenience most of the time. (And, as a single woman who sometimes travels alone at night, I feel safer not having to get out of my car in some dark.)

      2. Saying that because you like something, it’s okay to criminalize the alternative is brutally fascist thinking. Forcing private enterprise to provide low-wage jobs because automation is illegal has been favored by socialists for at least a century.

        What do women like my wife in CA do? Die in terror at the pump?

        Consider how OR is mocked generally (especially Portland) as being childish, out of touch, spacey, etc. I’m pretty sure the law is a symptom, not a cause. You don’t even have the NJ excuse of being mobbed up.

      3. That’s a pretty extreme response there, dangerdad. I’m a conservative. I actually recently switched parties from Republican to Libertarian because I realized I really just want the government to back the heck out of everyone’s business. The fact that this gas law thing doesn’t bother me should probably tell you something about how important it is in the grand scheme of things. I’ve never heard a single Oregonian complain about this law, and I’ve lived here most of my life, and most of the people I know are pretty conservative. If people from other states think we’re a bunch of extremists because of it, they can just go back home.

        Liking something because it makes me, as a young, single woman, feel a little bit safer than I might otherwise is not remotely the same thing as saying that without it I’d be in terror of getting murdered. That’s like saying that wanting to own a gun because it makes me feel safer means that I think people who don’t own guns must live in constant terror of going out their door. Like I said, I lived in L.A. for two years. I worked nights, so I got home after 2 a.m. This didn’t particularly bother me. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to kind of like that that’s not something I have to think about as much now that I’m back in Oregon. Because like it or not, dude, thinking about personal safety is something women have to do. If you think that giving my own safety any thought at all means I’m living in terror, you need a serious reality check.

        There are a lot of things that, as a conservative, I don’t like about living in a blue state. There are a lot of laws I think need to be repealed or changed. Accusing me of being a fascist because pumping my own gas doesn’t remotely approach the top of that list is pretty extreme and unnecessary.

      4. Also, dangerdad, people who mock Oregonians for being spacey and out of touch probably have met very few people from Oregon. Oregon is not just Portland. Portland is pretty kooky, yeah. Heck, I live an hour away from it and I freely mock the hipsters. I once met a guy in Portland who dresses in a ghetto superhero outfit, talks in a weird voice, and calls himself Frogman. His reason? “Just keeping Portland weird.” Portland’s its own thing. Do I think that everyone in Texas is the same as people who live in Austin? Do I think that everyone in Illinois are like those who live in Chicago? Etc. No, I don’t.

        You know what I think of when I think of Oregon? Gorgeous landscapes and lots of green, growing things. Rivers and lakes and coastline. It’s like fricking Middle Earth. We like overcast, cloudy, rainy weather, and we think people are wimps for getting an umbrella out for anything less than a torrential downpour. We recycle as a matter of course because we have an environment we actually want to keep nice (unlike in L.A., where people give environmentalism lip service and then throw cans and bottles in the trash). We drink a lot of coffee. I was surprised when I visited a small Texas town this year and they had maybe one sad little coffee stand. In a town that size in Oregon, they’d have probably one major chain and three independent coffee shops. Maybe non-Northwesterners think we’re weird because we use five to ten words to order coffee. But you know what? We like our coffee and we’re good at it, so suck it.

        So screw you and your “Oregonians are fascists children because they can’t pump their own gas.”

      5. Uh, I think you’re protesting a bit much, as well as throwing in a straw man argument. I never said “Oregonians are fascists children because they canโ€™t pump their own gas.” Just because you personally like something, doesn’t mean it’s okay to make the alternative illegal.

        Having someone else pump your gas is not fascist. Making your choice the only legal one and forcing businesses to only do that, is.

        Calling yourself conservative doesn’t make it so. Telling a business they are not allowed to let their customers self-serve is not conservative. The fact that you haven’t thought about the law doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have. The fact that you self-declare conservative doesn’t mean that all laws you don’t object to aren’t objectionable.

        If anything, I’d ask you to think about what principles fit the idea of criminalizing self-serve gas. Without appeals to authority, the crowd, or straw-man arguments.

    2. New Jersey does that as well. Went to NJ for training one time and the attendant had a conniption when I got out and started pumping my own gas. How the heck was I to know? In the midwest, we sorta have to take care of ourselves instead of having our hand held for us.

  14. In response to Brad’s comment of
    “I am not sure if there is an actual diagnosis for it yet, but there ought to be a name for the personality type who surrounds himself with such a large pile of incestuous “data” (which all confirms his prejudices, naturally) and then he *shoves* that pile of “data” at the world in a completely tone-deaf fashion, such that everybody pretty much walks away unconvinced.”

    May I humbly suggest “sick triceratops” as a name? Think Jurassic Park and the classic Goldblum line “That is one big pile of s***”

  15. Larry, I have a favor to ask of you. Should I ever get into a debate with you and start going down The Path of Idiot, would you please link me to this thread as a reminder? I promise to back off the instant I see the linked page.

  16. Just got done teaching class (I’m a Finance guy, so it was on the cost of financing). It’s a team-taught class, so there was another prof in the room (a “management” guy). We got into a side discussion about global warming (I’m a “skeptic” or “denier”, depending on who you talk to).

    This post was the perfect palate cleanser. I have to get added to Brad’s friend list so I can pitch in with statistical-type shite about how you actually test these things like pay gaps. But that would involve logic, which might make our own little Gump burst into flames.

    Or I could just listen to the rampaging of the Correiakin.

  17. Quick notion, here, regarding how to check for a “wage gap”: wouldn’t a reasonable starting place be to compare men and women of similar experience time, similar qualifications, and similar amount of work produced?
    And, has anyone bothered to do this instead of just making blanket statements about the patriarchy?

    1. Yep. I even posted several links to such super right wing places as Time and the HuffPo where economists break down that the wage gap is a total myth that vanishes when you compare apples to apples.

    2. I know there was a brief article in either SEG’s publication or AAPG’s a while back (4-6 months) about the oil industry broken down by age, sex, and sub field. I think there was also a break down of percentage male/female in each category, but I may be misremembering that. Everything was within a reasonable range of each other. I saw nothing that set my analyst senses tingling. There’s an age gap in industry, and a much higher percentage of female geoscientists on the younger than older end of that gap. Which is likely another source of bad correlation. If you have 5 women for every 100 men in that upper set, with 30 women for every 100 men in the lower (numbers pulled out of a hat) then average the pay rates., it’s going to look like the women are getting paid less when the truth is they just haven’t been in industry as long in the same proportion.

  18. 60guilders – you’re exactly right – that’s one way. In fact, when studies look at never-married men and women with no kids working in similar jobs with similar experience, the wage gap pretty much disappears. The problem is that it only tells you how the “gap” works for that subset.

    The relative effect of changes in these factors differs between men and women – as an example (as far as I recall), having kids INCREASES men’s salaries, but DECREASES women’s. The typical explanation given is that childrearing falls disproportionally on women, and that having kids makes men grow up and work harder.

    There are more sophisticated techniques like estimating a multivariate regression that allow you to estimate the relationship between salary and a whole host of contributing factors like gender (or sex – I often forget which term I’m supposed to use and when), years of experience, job type, and so on. The actual modelling of this relationship can be pretty intricate, but it (at least theoretically) allows you to estimate things like (just to name a few examples) how much each child a woman has has an effect on her average earnings (holding all else constant), how much being married vs. being single has on the typical woman’s salary (or the typical man’s salary), and so on.

    There are classes on statistical estimation techniques, and many universities have masters (and even PhD) programs in statistics. The people who do it well are pretty amazing.

    1. Right now my favorites are the American T-69 (tier 8) and the M103 (tier 9). I haven’t unlocked a tier 10 yet.

      1. Though I’ve done pretty good in the KV-1 and KV1S. And my most killingist tank ever is the American T1. At Tier 5 that this is awesome. At higher tiers, you’re just a victim. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. I was excited to learn you play WoT. Then crushed to learn XBox and PC don’t mix. ๐Ÿ™ I might buy an XBox just to have the honor of getting blasted by you.

      3. Larry, Jason (WarpCordova) and I are playing WoT on PC. Any plans to head there to try? I have a cpl tanks on Xbox but the maps feel smaller and the play less intense there.

      4. Curses, you would have to play on X-box. Hopefully they merge the servers one of these days.

        If you like the M103 and the T1 then the E5 is the tank for you. Good frontal armour, excellent rate of fire and penetration and moderate speed.

      5. I’m a KV-2 tard. 152mm gun with HE. elete crew, fully geared, with all the tech unlkocked, including thata silly arty.

        Just trollling around town maps nuking light tanks. The KV-2 is a lowbie tank, but that big freaking HE gun makes high tier tanks back off … until you shoot. Takes forever to reload.

  19. This very conservative, 50 year old grandma is laughing her @$$ off … naughty words and all.

    Truly epic. Thank you for sharing … but I had to make friends with Brad so I could click Like.

  20. Talk about taking a swizzle stick to an artillery duel. *shakes head*

    Poor, foolish, persistently stupid Forrest. That was probably the saddest excuse for an argument I’ve seen. Damned entertaining, though. Not him, the rest of you, as I don’t do facebark. *chuckle*

  21. Somewhat off topic: The SJWs have decided to launch “ReaderGate” today. It’s “satire” on GamerGate, with all the stereotyping you’d expect.

    “Chuck Wendig โ€@ChuckWendig ยท7h7 hours ago

    Gee, I wonder who he might be referring too? (eyeroll)

    1. They’re whining about Requires Only That You Hate, another tearful saga where they argue the subtle levels of PC neo-Nazi group defamation whose distinctions I cannot grasp.

      It’s something along the lines of you can attack Jews on Thursdays if the light’s green and the humidity is above 60% but not Arabs when the garage door is open and if they’re under 5 ft. tall. It takes a long time to hash all that shit out. Many denials and counter-denials, much presentation of the evidence. Accurate quotes is shaming and far right wing trolling and flat out racial insults are like Thomas Jefferson and the signing of the Declaration of Independence, except when they’re not.

      If stupider people ever lived I’ve yet to find them. Go to the blog of SFWA president Steven Gould’s daffy wife M.J. Locke for all the gossip, internment camps and fog banks.

      1. Reading those comments and their rationalizations for racial and sexual bigotry is astounding. They have a racial and sexual hierarchy for who can insult who that even confuses them.

        Then, if you Google her other site and name, Patriarch’s Day Part 4 M.J. Locke, you’ll get the full defamation of 3.5 billion men.

        At that one, a commenter writes about “misogyny as a toxic gas in the atmosphere we breathe” and in the link you have, that same woman defends herself as an innocent darling. Suddenly, in her own blog posting, she understands “crude but serious attempts to disparage contemporaries’ enterprises, eliminate competition and suppress trade.” Just not when they’re openly colluding on Twitter to not read work by white men. Neo-KKK? Yup.

        The toxic gas reminds me of the bad water in Dr. Strangelove. Reading them argue without principles is like watching a flock of birds all banging into each other.

        These people have no principles whatsoever – none. There is no way in a thousand years you could ever win a debate with them because the rules are a race and gender stacked deck.

        They can make up strawman conversations with scare quotes but if you actually quote them you default to right wing and shaming them.

        At your link, it’s a “safe space” where you can’t use the word “crazy,” but never mind wiping your hind end with all white men. No problem.

        The fact this is a community of writers who don’t understand the meaning of words explains an awful lot. I truly feel sorry for them. God help me if I ever become that senile, unprincipled and unfair to my fellow human beings in their tens of millions. I understand personality clashes, I do not understand the rationalizations for group defamation by these stunningly ignorant people.

      2. Wow…

        I sorta liked rotyh…

        Didt agree with her politics, or all that she did, plus she could be quite hyperbolic in her hyperbole but,

        at least she had the guts to call out vast swathes of the worldcon twits on their hypocrisy.

        Her review of windup girl is a nice take down of bacigalupi’s laziness of writing.

        People have been trying to “out” her for ages…

      3. Here’s the thing about ROTYH: I don’t care. I play Devil’s Advocate and show how the PC are liars and hypocrites about these issues.

        But personally, if ROTYH thinks white men are as stupid as buffaloes, I don’t care. And her post now only available on The Wayback Machine called “Let’s roundly shit on everything again” is hilarious. It’s about new urban fantasy releases that week. It’s no exaggeration to say that for me at least, it’s funnier than the entirety of clever Tweets by those PC morons I’ve researched.

        I don’t care. I don’t care if someone satirizes someone or is vulgar or hides bigotry behind satire. What I care about is when people harass me for my race every single day, lie about non-existent Asimov’s and Heinlein’s harassing non-whites and women, and then tell me with a straight face they’re anti-bigots. Fuck that.

        These are the morons who pound the table for anti-racial/gender harassment policies at cons and then ignore them on Twitter and their blogs and come after me about privilege and rape culture and the whole asylum of bullshit.

        These are the morons who tell me to look up “intersectionality” where I then learn feminist lesbians who are psychotic want an end to incest taboos, “binary gender,” the nuclear family, and normal sex, and by the way “the future is queer.”

        The point for me is always the same one: the PC either are, or support, racist, sexist supremacists and liars. Let this neo-KKK throw each other under the bus exactly like they fought over the Lovecraftian corpse of Lena Dunham and her gender-fluid Alfred E. Neuman “What – me worry?” Mad Magazine response that actually was mad.

        What you’re seeing in this nasty divide that broke out today is to me like seeing a troop of neo-Nazis arguing over how tall the doors of their clubhouse should be. I have no hopes for them either good or ill, or sympathy. They are their own explanation for failure and karma will have its day whether they like it or not.

      4. You don’t have to worry about Requires Only That You Hate. If you want to know what’s going on, go to Mixon’s site and the whole history is laid out.

        RH goes after and exploits weak-minded SJWs and establishes actual relationships. In the comments of Mixon’s site, you’ll see where I get the idea so many of them have mental health issues; they don’t even hide it. Predictably, it’s a “safe space” where you can’t call RH “crazy.”

        RH is done now (apparently) but even so, folks like us she basically just makes fun of because of the usual stuff: being white, privilege etc. She got R. Scott Bakker really angry.

        She’ll never go after LC or anyone here. LC doesn’t get angry, he gets even. D. Walter’s and Hines’ buttocks are still stinging.

        But these PC splitting over this don’t know when to quit. If RH starts criticizing us in a more measured and daily or weekly way, she’ll get back in their good graces fast. In the end, these folks finds us far worse just for existing than RH is for wishing acid attacks and threatening people to the point the U.K. police have been brought in. That’s because the PC in SFF are idiots. Reading those comments might bring tears to the eyes of any American. It’s like a frickin’ Planet of the Apes and we’re Heston. The fact is they’re all angry because RH went after non-whites and women, not just racism.

        They can’t think, they can’t quote, make simple comparisons, and they can’t reason.

    2. Oh good grief. This was Damien today:

      “VICTORY! The #GamerGate kids have CENSORED me from their /r. My satire was too much for their puny egos to cope with.”

      You keep telling yourself that, Damo.

    3. I bet I could sell the shit out of that book. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Ironically, my only white dude main character is Jake Sullivan, and he was an Irishman in 1932, so take that for what it is worth.

      1. Given who and what Franks really is, he has less biologically in common with a “white man” than does an Australian Aborigine. I think Earl used to be a normal “white man” though, didn’t he? Before he became, um, lycanthropically augmented?

      2. But the Irish were white, and Christian, and therefore had power and therefore could never have been the victims of racism!

        /moonbat mode off

      3. Odd thought……
        Franks is made of spare parts, yes? What if some SJW type decided to use all “Gender Normative / Lady Parts” the next time the MCB’s murder machine was in for some,er, um “body work”?

        Penalties for sexual harassment just got BRUTAL. Damsel in distress my ass.

      4. Franks has probably incorporated parts from all major racial groups, making him the only truly multiracial, multiethnic, truly inclusive individual in the world.
        And he’d still kick Forrest’s ass through the goalposts just for breathing his air.

    4. Maybe I’m just stupid, but could someone explain to me what the problem is with a book where “White dude does stuff, then says stuff, then shoots stuff”? Sounds like a promising beginning to me!

      1. Yeah, that formula sounds horrible considering that it covers such unpopular works as Indiana Jones, Star Wars, True Grit, Tombstone, Blade Runner, Total Recall, Clear and Present Danger, Patriot Games, Predator, the Punisher, Inglorius Basterds, Point of Impact, Lions of Lucerne, Blowback, Fury, Escape from New York, Rawhide, Lethal Weapon, John Wick, Captain America, and a million other really successful things that made zillions of dollars.

        Shit, as for racism, by getting rid of white dude does, says, and shoots, you don’t even have the first act of Django Unchained anymore! ๐Ÿ˜€

      2. One of the latest things in recent months is the idea of “White Savior Complex.” The PC don’t like white people always coming to the rescue in books and film, especially if they’re set in the Third World. Of course, try saying you’re sick of black guys scoring the winning bucket in the NBA (which no one is doing) and then you’re KKK.

        What is remarkable to me is how the PC unquestioningly accept anything a non-white says, no matter how obviously racist it is. That Arthur Chu writes bald-faced racist anti-white articles about gamergate’s “angry privileged white man,” and retweets stuff about “white dudebros.”

        Meanwhile a couple white folks mistook SFF author John Chu for someone else at a con and that became “racial micro-aggressions” and he became all weepy-eyed and blogged about the icky white people. These folks never stop – not for one second.

        Those folks whining about Requires Hate right now at their “safe space” don’t care she wrote about “white man’s tears” or “IT IS TIME TO BEAT THE ROTTEN CARCASS OF A DEAD WHITE MAN,” even though that sort of stuff got Vox Day booted from the SFWA. They haven’t even mentioned Requires Hates racist comments. No, they’re angry she was mean to people of color, especially women. They have no quotes about us writing stuff like that but they act as if they do. People like Damien Walter just lie, which is easier than admitting they’re pushing back against nothing.

        We can’t win with these people – we never will. Doing nothing is racism and racism is doing nothing. They are Orwell’s dopey children in every sense of the word.

      3. .โ€ The PC donโ€™t like white people always coming to the rescue”…

        Jonas Salk, Alexander Fleming, Ronald Ross, and Norman Borlaug could not be reached for comment.

    5. Pity. I do like Chuck Wendig’s writing, and his blog can be incredibly entertaining, but every so often he goes insane and turns into a crazy SJW…

  22. Sweet slithering mother of sh*tcakes and syrup, that was as epic a rant as I’ve ever seen.

    Y’know. you could make serious coin doing that to idiot LibProgs on Fox. . . .

    1. He reminds me of Arthur Chu, who also didn’t know when to stop when Larry started kicking his behind.

      1. Oh, the Jeopardy guy. Yeah, that guy was pathetic. You’d think that somebody that good at recalling trivia would be a bit more quick witted, but apparently creativity and recall use different parts of the brain. I could have drunk a bottle of Nyquil and still out witted him.

      2. He’s got stamina, though. He’s been on GamerGate 24/7 since it started. The only day I think he took a greak was Columbus Day, when he whined about how racist America is.

      3. Given the nature of the high-functioning retards in SFF, I think the ability for simple abstract concepts is separate from putting on one’s jammies.

        Chu would probably wipe the floor with me in history and yet he is as childishly stupid and ignorant as anyone with such a platform on the internet. For starters, he has no idea what a “bigot” is. A strange situation for an “anti-bigot.”

  23. I can’t get my iPad to load far enough back to see much. When I try to push it past the 300 most recent comments, it crashes the browser. I assume it just hits the pads tolerance limits for stupid…..

  24. 1 1/2 hours later after reading the Torgersen post and I DO thank you Larry! That was an EPIC beating! I just wish I could have seen it live!

    Somewhere in the next MHI novel, you’re gonna have to work in some Cat-brides…

    1. “Cat brides” was where I lost it, laughing. And Nick Searcy’s line about the “Ass-kissing Human Democrat Centipede” made me do a spit-take on the keyboard…even if it is better suited to describing the news media than the so-called “gender gap.”

  25. God help me, reading Forrest’s posts was like being skullfucked with a tuning fork.

    But in the end getting to that one point where he was completely dismantled was worth it.

  26. That was epic. I haven’t laughed that hard since … well, Tuesday night while watching the election returns and reading liberal reactions on Twitter.

    BTW, is your Amazon wishlist up to date? If so, I’d like to send you something off it to show my appreciation for “the Fisking of Forrest”.

    I wanted to suggest the use of “The Cow Says Mu” (instead of Moo), since little Furriest was posing a BS question. (Yes, it will confuse the little SJWs, which is partially the point. “Mu” is the second-best answer when somebody asks you a question like “do you still cheat on your taxes.” The best answer is to hand a club to a pissed-off mutant seal and letting it turn the idiot asking into a fine paste. And yes, I would love to read a scene where that happens in a future MHI book.)

    Count me in for a Correiakin shirt. And a Correiakin challenge coin.

  27. Holy crap that turing test failing semblance of a man is one dedicated bag of crazy. My favorite part (aside from Larry’s first post) was quoting Shakespeare at him saying to shut up because no one is listening to him, then having sixteen of his posts go up in a row because we’d all gone to bed.

    I mean, jeez, post count is past 1300 now. If you took away “wage,” “gap,” and “10%” out of his vocabulary there would be little left.

  28. So, putting that in word gave me 51518 words, removing three words per post to estimate timestamps and occasional likes, gives me 47405 words. Plus, the comments on this post gave me 7147 estimated down to 6207 words. Is this some sort of giant collaborative nanowrimo project?

    1. And even rougher estimation tells me Forrest made over 22% of the comments putting him at around 10429 words

      1. If a liberal brain explodes in a crowded but totally silent room, does it make enough of a “pop” for anyone else to hear? ๐Ÿ˜‰

      2. @CombatMissionary: Hmm, I’m not sure liberals have brains, and what they do have between their ears is so flipping dense it’s just shy of causing black holes, so I don’t know how you could cause one to explode.

      3. @ Kevin,
        I’m not sure either, but I bet Larry has a few STEM degrees among his readership that would be willing to try. Will the Evil League of Evil build a sub-sub-sub basement for this experiment? ๐Ÿ˜€

      4. 10429 words, and he failed to demonstrate the english comprehension required to graduate from my elementary school, circa 1972. Is it possible that there is a brain development syndrome, comparable to Tourette’s that causes the person to spasmodically type Liberal Left blather?

  29. As of 11pm, the troll is still going. I even got him to admit he’s a troll. That “both sides are the same” girl, Caitlen i think, got really annoying. The fact that she couldn’t tell Forrest Gump was an idiot speaks volumes about her.

  30. 1603 comments. I tried to get to the first comments so I could read it in order (for some reason Fakebook only shows the last 50 comments), but my shitty computer couldn’t handle it. Oh well.

  31. I actually spent 2 1/2 hrs. reading that thread. (Yes, I don’t have a life.) At the end, assimilating the product, the line that came to me was Chief Dan George to Dustin Hoffman in “Little Big Man” – “It was a magnificent copulation.”
    The Eugene FD will need two engines minimum to hose the ick off Mr. Gump, fer sure…..

  32. This guy obviously has mental health issues. You’re missing out on the real fun on Mixon’s “safe-space.” There you have dozens of SFF writers who can’t figure out how law or the Golden Rule works. That puts them behind the first human burned by fire who then realized they shouldn’t burn others. That’s… what – 100,000 B.C.?

    It’s a barn-burner.

    On the positive side, it must be exciting to look forward to breakthroughs like Hammurabi’s Code, so there’s that. And the wheel.

    1. Of course, the part where they’re setting up a society where the Mosaic Code will actually be more “progressive” than what they will have is lost on them.

      1. It was the thread I was referring to and it has burning barns,100,000 B.C. modes of thought, “I am a queer WOC” seniority cred claims stated up front like a Teamster seniority number and people with crippling mental health issues all coincidentally coming to the conclusion Father Devil is a straight white man.

        Seeing how there are over 400 comments and most of them SFF writers, it’s many times more interesting and significant than one goofy old guy. It’s a fascinating insight in how this asylum thinks as well as mass shared hysteria and claims of PTSD over precisely nothing. Seinfeld was never this satirical.

  33. And before Forest goes on Checklist and says “you sound angry” or you “typed a lot”, I wrote that during the load screens between a couple games of World of Tanks.

    I’m awesome at that too…


  34. He’s crawled back under his rock, but the coward did it before the poastcount hit 2000.

    I think having actual statistitians show up and explain to him how he was being stupid in careful detail, with the original unfudged charts ( as opposed to the fake ones he got at libtard sites ) must have scared him.

  35. Over 1905 by the time I got to it. Thanks Larry. I was laughing so hard my face hurt. I know a few zealots at work and just not talking to them. Thankfully that is literal. They won’t talk to me. ๐Ÿ˜€

  36. When I was last looking at it, the comments were 1950+, I think. I had read about half-way through, but I didn’t have the patience to read through everything…but I was hoping that a point about the “gender gap” would be made, that I only saw hinted at a couple of times. (I’d make it there, except that I’m not thrilled with the idea of logging into Facebook…)

    The point is this: perhaps the gender gap Forrest was so worried about doesn’t have anything to do with party policy towards *women*, but party policy towards *men*. Democrats are currently supporting the destruction of basic due process rights on college campuses for sexual harrassment, up to and including rape–you know, important things like facing your accuser, having representation, knowing the charges against you, seeing the evidence against you, and being able to try to refute it–Democrats are pushing for men’s lives to be destroyed based on vague accusations and anonymous complaints!

    And then you have the “men are boycotting marriage” thing going on…somehow I don’t think it’s the Republicans that support giving the edge to women in divorce proceedings…

    But, no, this can’t be why Republicans are fleeing the Democrat party faster than women! It can’t be that at all!

  37. Wow. So in summary: Retired Democrat Knee-Jerker, no longer processing information, convinced of my own rectitude, and have no purpose in life other than to spout my internalized sound-bytes to people who work for a living and know better.

    Some people just beg to be verbally eviscerated.

    Love to join in, but gotta finish the next book and a 10-hour factory shift approacheth.

    Thanks for the link! I feel much smarter now.

  38. You know, it looks like no one ever explained to the idiot why the gender voting gap is caused by the (more) targeted propaganda. Shoulda said “The dems target women specifically with the “War on Women” BS. Women are more likely than men to be swayed by that arguement. For the most part, all other propaganda will not be (or be less) gender-biased in who it sways. Thus, the “War on Women” propaganda causes the gender gap.” You’ve got to make it easy for idiots to follow.

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