700+ comments? Yes. I know it is huge, but you will thank me later. 🙂
So here is the deal. Last night I’m playing World of Tanks on the xBox, I check my phone, and I see that a bunch of different people are tagging me in a Brad Torgersen thread. Then I get PMs saying that I really need to check this Forest idiot out. My fans have this running joke on FB about how you “Release the Correiakin!” on doofuses. That many requests, you’ve got to look, and I find a thread where some dude is mansplaining why republicans hate women.
Whoa… This one is special. Within seconds I can tell this is just one of those Terminator style libprogs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu0rP2VWLWw who absolutely Will Not Stop Until You Are Dead! (luckily these are rare in the wild!) From long experience I know that when you are dealing with such a subspecies, there is no reasoning, no debate, and you might as well skip ahead to where you are going to end up going anyway, with lots and lots of insults. 🙂
So I typed up a big post of insults during the load screens of like ten games, then posted it, thinking I’d just go to bed. But then he had to keep posting, and the comic opportunities were too great.
Yes. I know the thread is huge, but honestly you can skim through most of it. I beat him like a rented mule WITH a baby seal! By the end I had GK Chesterton, Lao Tzu, Martin Luther King, and Ghandi beating him with pillow cases with bars of soap in them like that scene from Full Metal Jacket! One of my favorite parts was a detailed step by step explanation of how to use this Obamaphone to look up my name. Even Nick Searcy was shocked by the level of stupid on display.
Seriously, this thing goes beyond internet trolling. It was a live action short story! Don’t think of it as a long FB thread, think of it as Performance Art.
I shed a single manly tear.
And this morning, hours after everyone else went to bed HE WAS STILL POSTING! 😀
Trust me. Go look.