Fisking an Ignorant Gun Control Editorial

This editorial was sent to me by a reader. Calling it an editorial is doing it a disservice, as it is really more of a letter to the boogieman written by a petulant man-child.

As usual whenever there is a mass shooting on the news, the ignorant come out of the woodwork to pontificate about a topic they know absolutely nothing about, setting up straw men and knocking them down, and matching wits with phantoms. This one was particularly obnoxious in its self-righteousness, but it is still fairly useful in that it demonstrates a lot of the defective logic that goes into the gun control side of things.

If you want a serious in depth discussion of pretty much every major point in the gun control debate, read this:  an article which was written based upon years of experience by a legally certified subject matter expert, which went viral, was read a million times in the first few weeks after it came out, and wound up on the national news.

(I’m going to refer to that link a lot, because it beats having to type out long responses to the same tired arguments over and over again)

Or if you prefer a bunch of emotional bullshit and logical fallacies, read Dear Gun Nuts by Matt Bors instead: an article which was written by a cartoonist who shot a .44 once (it was loud) and which will mostly be read because I linked to it here in order to make fun of it. Or you can save time and just read my fisking of it below.

As usual the original article is in italics. My comments are in bold. If you want to see his cartoons or graphs, they’re at the link above, but I’ll warn you that they’re about as clever as the article.

Dear Gun Nuts


I’d say I qualify as a Gun Nut. My full weapons/tactics/legal resume is in the first link above.


So, a few things.


After the first time I shot a gun, I couldn’t hear anything for two days. This is because it was a .44 magnum and because I was eight and not wearing any ear protection.

Speaking as a retired firearms instructor, your father is an idiot.

It’s a huge gun—the kind Dirty Harry used—and my dad had to help me hold it as I pulled the trigger.

Dirty Harry would have slapped your dad upside the head for not giving you any ear plugs.

The next day, he had to explain to my third grade teacher why the only thing I could hear was a loud ringing.

If the explanation didn’t start out with “Because I’m an idiot— ” it was insufficient.

There are right ways and wrong ways to go about your gun-having. (And your son-having.) My dad did do a good job of teaching me about gun safety once I was able to hear him speak words again. He even went and bought ear protection.

Wow. He’s father of the year. And as we’ll see as Matt’s essay goes on, he didn’t do much to teach his kids critical thinking skills either.

 Growing up around guns made me feel comfortable with them. So, gun owners, I’m not against you.

He says before he goes into an article about how gun owners evil and stupid.

For a while, the 60 percent of Americans who don’t own personal firearms had a hard time figuring out how to communicate in the jargon of gun people.

You still can’t. When you people try to speak “gun culture” you sound like a white upper class suburbanite attempting hard core gangster rap. It is just pathetic and everyone is laughing at you. You learned your jargon from MSNBC or the New York Times, sources which are about as reliable and unbiased as Anthony Weiner’s Twitter feed.

But over the course of the last few dozen national conversations after mass shootings, we’ve all become armchair experts in arsenals.

Well, armchair expert. I’m an actual expert, which is why I can say with complete certainty that everything you go on to pontificate about in this letter is either flat out wrong or hyperbolically misleading.

Was the killer using hollow points or full metal jacket rounds? Big difference.

Nominally, but I say that as a guy trained on mass shootings and wound ballistics, not as a cartoonist who pulled a couple of terms off of Google.  My first link above goes into detail about ammo types.

Is there a collapsible stock on that Bushmaster AR-15?

And, pray tell, how does a stock that is adjustable a few inches for length of pull make that gun any deadlier? And Bushmaster is one brand of AR-15 manufacturer which is almost exactly the same as the gun produced by dozens of other AR-15 manufacturers. The AR-15 is the most common rifle in America. But Bushmaster sounds scarier than Stag, Smith & Wesson, Colt, DPMS, Armalite, POF, LWRC, Ruger, or many others because a Bushmaster is a type of snake… Or something…

Oh, he used Colt pistols instead of Glocks?

Wow. You were able to name two of the most famous pistols ever made? Including one brand has been around since the 1800s and another which is the most common handgun in the world? Did you just type the word pistol into a search engine? I bow before your armchair expertise.


No. Weird would be having a mass shooting where the perp used a M1907 Roth-Steyr.

After every mass shooting—which is essentially all the time these days—

Actually, it isn’t all the time these days at all. Mass shootings are still statistical anomalies. (see my link above where I go into this in great detail) They get reported on a lot by a breathless media in the hopes of pushing a gun control agenda, when actually you are far more likely to be a victim of a regular crime, but you know that, because you’re the armchair expert.

gun rights advocates drag out the “more guns = more safer” argument.

Yep. Again, see my link above. This has been demonstrated time and time again, but why should we go with facts, reality, and crime statistics when we could get all spun up and emotional instead?

And yet: we’re still not safe!

By that logic, because people still die in car crashes, Matt wants to ban seat belts and air bags. Using the stats provided by even the staunchest anti-gun advocates, guns are used far more often to save lives than to take them. (broken record here, but the numbers are in the top link).

Despite having almost one gun for every man, woman, and child in the nation, peak safety has yet to be reached.

Interesting… His armchair expert education must have skipped the part where 12 out of every 13 mass shootings happen in Gun Free Zones, where every man, woman, and child (except for the bad guy who doesn’t care about the law or Matt’s tender feelings) is legally disarmed. It would seem that “peak safety” is certainly not found in Gun Free Zones.  

Now. You’re allowed to oppose gun control on grounds that restricting the ability to purchase a gun violates your second amendment rights and will leave you up shit creek without a Smith & Wesson when it comes time to overthrow a tyrannical government.

That’s really nice of you to tell me what we’re allowed to oppose, Matt.  

And I agree that many proposed gun control laws won’t do anything, especially patchwork ones put forward in response to mass shootings.

Yep. This is the smartest thing you’ve said all day.

But wait… Do you have evidence that ANY gun control laws accomplish anything? Go ahead and look, because if you can find some evidence the DoJ would love to see it, because they didn’t have any luck.

Most murders are committed with handguns and banning those is not even on the table.

Except for where handguns have been banned in America, and we’ve seen how that has actually worked out, since those places are all cesspools of violent crime and high murder rates.

Don’t forget, the mass shootings that force Matt to retire to his fainting couch are statistical anomalies. Most shootings in America are gang/drug/thug events. Last time I checked, the gun culture that Matt is addressing aren’t the ones shooting hundreds of people in beautiful gun free Chicago. The Gun Culture doesn’t tend to congregate in places where we can’t own, buy, or use guns, go figure, and the liberal dominated inner cities ran us out a long time ago with their annoying regulations. Yet, those places are still where people keep on getting murdered…  

That topic gets into the whole sticky wicket of drug laws, incarceration policies, economics, culture, politics, and race baiting democrats subsidizing the self-destructive thug life, and addressing all that stuff is really HARD. On the other hand, insulting law abiding gun nuts (who aren’t named T-Bone and who won’t pop a cap in you for dissing them) is super EASY.

At least Matt is smarter than the average low information voter who thinks that “assault weapons” kill zillions, and thus need to be heavily regulated, when according to the FBI only 367 of our 12,664 murders in 2011 were committed with any rifle, which means you’re more likely to die of autoerotic asphyxiation than to get murdered with an “assault weapon”.

Some dudes wrote the Second Amendment on piece of paper a while ago and we all have to live with the result of that.

There are a couple hundred other utopias that you can move to where you don’t have to put up with that dastardly “piece of paper”. Meanwhile, most of us are rather fond of our founding documents which put limitations on the ability of our government to infringe upon our rights and liberties.

But you know what we can do in lieu of new laws?

Oh, please do share. I’m giddy with anticipation.

Change our culture so fewer people die every year.

You should share this wondrous message in beautiful gun free Chicago or Washington DC. That should knock out most of our deaths right quick. Give T-Bone a call. I’m sure he won’t curb stomp your face in or anything.  

Gun people, we need to talk about your behavior a bit.

Because obviously, 90,000,000 American gun owners haven’t done anything wrong, so it is time to get all preachy at them. Americans love that shit.

First of all, can you stop saying video games cause violence? They don’t. Countries where people play way more video games than we do have lower rates of gun deaths. The thing about violent video games is they don’t feature characters going around killing people with video games. They use guns. Or Hadoukens or Babalities or stuff.

This is a straw man. Most gun owners don’t bring up video games after a mass shooting. The NRA president brought it up during a press conference last December and it turned into a joke because newsflash, gun owners play video games too.

In fact the only thing I saw mentioning violent video games in connection to this latest mass shooter was an interview with one of his friends, who said that the guy seemed really normal, though he did enjoy violent video games. However, this is the same interview which revealed the bad guy was also a self-proclaimed liberal and big Obama supporter. So, obviously a huge member of the gun culture there!

On that note, if you want to do something really super uncomfortable, go through all the mass shooters you can find and see where they self-identified on the political spectrum…  I did this back after the media was swooning in the hopes that Gabby Giffords had been shot by the Tea Party. You’ll find that far more of them would be a lot more comfortable occupying Wall Street than hanging out at the SHOT Show.

Hey, it’s time for a chart break!

Yes. There is a chart. Because obviously the only possible comparable data point between the crime rate of the giant, ethnically, socially, and economically diverse US with the tiny, relatively homogenous Netherlands, is that we both really dig Call of Duty.

A more interesting chart would be how many of these mass shootings took place in legally mandated Gun Free Zones. I’ll save you some time. Draw a capitol L.   

Now on to my second point: guns kill people.

Oh, and what a stunning point it is!

They are not made for pressing sandwiches or sopping up grape juice spills in the kitchen.

No shit? I’ve totally been making sandwiches wrong.

Guns are specifically designed to propel bullets through a person’s body at a velocity sufficient to kill them.

Which is odd, because when Matt was out getting permanent hearing damage from his father, he never specified that they were actually shooting people.

Saying “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” is not an argument for more people having guns. You just said, sir, that people kill people. Guns are inanimate objects full of deadly potential. How do we help them realize their destiny to be peaceful, non-lethal objects and keep them away from people?

That is some convoluted shit right there.

Here, let me help you out armchair expert. Yes, we are fully cognizant that guns are dangerous and can poke high velocity holes into people. That is sort of the idea behind having a firearm as a tool. Guns are extremely effective at what they were designed to do, which is why when you really need one (like say for example, a bad person is really intent upon causing you grievous bodily harm) you really want to have a gun.

You pick the right tool for the job. If the job is to protect myself from a perpetrator with the ability and opportunity to cause serious bodily harm, acting as an imminent threat to myself or a third person, I’m not going to reach for a sandwich maker.

Lastly: You’re carrying around an assault rifle in public because…?

Because nothing makes a real American want to do something more than having a nosy busybody tell them that that can’t. The handful of Gun Culture guys walking around with a slung rifle at a political rally are the equivalent of the feather boa and black electrical tape clad dancing dudes at a gay pride parade. Both of them are saying “We’re here. Deal with it, bitch.”

I know you are not out on a killing spree, just a nice stroll, but it’s… sort of hard to tell?

Sure, I suppose if you go through life as a gutless pussy, then it would be hard to tell. For most of us we can see the person open carrying and ascertain by their activities if they
are up to no good or not. Odds are they are completely normal. If they intend to do evil and they start shooting the place up, then you can hide under something and pray to God that somebody from the Gun Culture shows up in time to save your pathetic ass.

And when I say the Gun Culture has to come save you, I mean the responders too. Once again, read the other link. The cops that can actually shoot well? The cops that end up as the firearms instructors? Guess where they fall? Yep. Gun Culture. I spent a decade working with that crowd. I can count the number of gun grabbing statists on one hand.  

Shootings that are stopped by regular folks have a much lower body count than shootings that are stopped by cops. That’s simply a matter of response time. (the big article goes into the psychology of mass shooters and how their fantasy bubble is popped) Either way, the best thing to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. People like me just like to cut out the middle man and get faster service. That’s the difference between my culture and yours, Matt. We take responsibility for ourselves.

Insisting on carrying your gun in public is like asserting your free speech rights by screaming at everyone you see.

Here, let me help you out, Matt. As somebody who taught CCW classes and certified over 3,000 people to carry firearms, I’m not a proponent of open carry for purely tactical target selection reasons. However, I do understand why some people choose to open carry. It is a giant “Fuck you” to people like you, and that I can applaud.

No one is saying that isn’t “legal,” but we’re not looking at you like you’re Rosa Parks. More like a total douche.

I’m sure you know that feeling well, but luckily we live in America where you can’t simply ban people from an activity because it makes you squeamish.  

The fact that you are intentionally drawing police attention smacks of crazy privilege. The Black Panthers used to carry arms in public—usually didn’t end well for them. I’m a white guy who is not homeless and thus have a low risk of incurring police brutality, and even I know better than to involve police unless it’s utterly necessary.

Trust me. It’s mutual. The cops don’t want to deal with whiney, pathetic cowards like you either.

Boo friggin’ hoo. It was hard to read that paragraph through the salty tears of sadness. I’m sorry that people carrying firearms openly in public offends your delicate sense of white privilege.

Interestingly enough, that famous photo of the gun rights activist carrying the AR slung on his back at a Tea Party rally? You’ll note that the media always crops his head from the shot and focuses on the gun. Because he’s black. And that doesn’t fit their predetermined narrative.

Firearm technology is one of those things that really could have stayed frozen in time two hundred years ago and we’d all be doing fine right now, really.

I thought you assholes were all about Progress?

There would still have been plenty of opportunity to get our war on and defend our homes with single shot muskets you had to arduously reload by hand. The playing field would be even for criminals, do-gooders, and armies alike.

And a magic leprechaun might fly out of the sky on a unicorn and fart rainbows of world peace… However, your hypothetical bullshit goes right out the window as soon as you realize we don’t live in that world. We live in the real world, where technology advances, and things change.

We could still “get our war on” with single shot weapons, until we got invaded by a country that wasn’t stupid. Or in the words of the great philosopher Jack Handey, “I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they’d never expect it.”

Plus, it wouldn’t be fair if we were still in the days of single shot firearms, which is why criminals in those days usually worked in gangs. But you already know about the history and evolution of gun fighting, with all that armchair expert MSNBC watching you did.

And by the way, repeating firearms had already been invented at the time the Bill of Rights was written, not to mention several of the founders were inventors, warriors, and gun nuts, so none of this would have surprised them. They’d also look at your cartoons and high five each other that their 1st Amendment still protects even the lamest forms of free speech.  

Instead, now guns are a multi-billion dollar industry and the only way to keep making money is to foster a climate of fear that drives people to purchase all sorts of tactical, military-style weapons no one could possibly need.

What a bunch of crap. This whole super evil arms industry bullshit keeps popping up as a meme. Having worked in the gun industry, they don’t have the marketing budget to “foster a climate of fear”. Gun nuts buy stuff that they think is useful, fun, or awesome. The only climate of fear part comes in when liberal politicians float new gun control proposals, backed up by ass kissing statists like Matt, and Joe Public runs out to buy stockpile guns before it is too late. There is a reason my gun shop had a picture of Obama up on the wall labeled “Salesman of the Year.”

One of the most powerful lobbying groups in America is the National Rifle Association and their name is apt: The NRA is an association representing rifles (and other guns), not you.

The NRA is a mushy lobbying organization that individuals in the Gun Culture donate money too. The main reason I’m a member is because they make a decent shield and they enrage people like Matt. If the NRA was half as badass as the media makes it out to be, I’d be far more proud to be a member.  

They’re playing you.

Thank you, Concern Troll! I keep forgetting that all liberals see the world in shades of victimhood, so if you choose to belong to the NRA because you believe in your right to keep and bear arms, then the only possible explanation is because you’ve been bamboozled by the awesome marketing powers of the evil gun industry!

The paranoia they’re pushing is designed to get you to put more of your money in their pockets.

Seriously, I laugh my ass off at this. They wouldn’t know the gun industry if it bit them in the ass. The ultra-monolithic industry exists only in the minds of the Piers Morgans of the world.

The men and women who make up the Gun Culture are the most independently minded folks you’ll find, which is why the statist ass kissers hate them so much. You know the biggest reason most of us who already have lots of guns continue to buy more? Simply because we enjoy pissing people like Matt off.

You probably don’t need to have so many weapons for self-defense. You can only really use one at a time.

Yet… if you can only use one at a time, why are you so dead set on not letting people have more? Why is there this bizarre fixation in the media whenever somebody gets arrested and they freak out about his “arsenal” (which usually consists of fewer guns than my children have) when the perp can only use one at a time?

Shouldn’t an armchair expert know that there are different types of tools for different types of jobs? And I can have various size concealed carry pistols for different modes of dress? And I can have different type guns for home defense? And I can have them in multiple locations so that I can reach them in case of emergency? (and I have an extremely large house!). And what about my wife and children? Shouldn’t they be allowed to have whatever tool fits them best as well?

Oh, but wait. It doesn’t have to make sense! This is about control and emotions! My bad. You say you’re okay with people having guns for recreation, hunting, and home defense, but that’s all a lie. You know it, and we know it.

And guns are sturdy products. They aren’t falling apart all over the place. Get rid of some of yours and go buy yourself a nice pair of boots. You’ll look great!

I have a nice pair of size 15 Danners. And I just applied one of those boots to your ass.  

Chart Break Number Two: The Dead People Meter

And here is a totally out of context apples versus oranges chart supposedly showing that more people have been “killed in domestic gun incidents since 1960” (looks like almost 1.4 million) vs. “Americans killed in all wars ever” (looks like about 1.1 million). Even if that was true, all it means is that Americans are super good at making war.

But wait… That would mean that an average of 26,000 people would have to die of gunshot wounds in the US every year, except during most of my adult life that number has been in the teens. Not to mention that I remembered that the US Civil alone was 625,000, so a cursory Wiki search gives us 1,321,612 American deaths in war. So then pulling up the crime stats, the only time our murders have gotten anywhere near that 26k was in the low 20s for a few years in the early 90s, and every other year was far lower. (and despite what the gun grabbers have been saying, has been DECLINING as more states have allowed concealed carry).

Faulty stats in a gun control essay? This is my shocked face.  But it is from PolitiFact! Which all liberals insist is totally true because it has Fact in its name!

If you take the positions of the NRA and add them up, you can see how the world would look if the gun lobby got everything it wants: Every American would have easy access to assault weapons,

First off, “assault weapon” is a made up propaganda term. See the very first link where I delve into the legal terminology in great depth. Second, other than a handful of states with democrat dominated legislatures, most of the US can have access to the scary black rifle type of gun Matt is thinking of, and we’ve got no problem with it.

And the gun that makes Matt wet the bed the moistest? The AR-15. Which is also the BEST SELLING rifle in the country. So this dreadful position has already been achieved. NOOOOOOOoooo!  

gun dealers would not be required to check the criminal record and mental health history of someone before selling them a gun,

Background checks have proven useless for stopping crime, and I’ve gone into that topic in great deal elsewhere, but hold on one second… My straw man detector is tingling… What is the NRA’s stance on guns for the mentally ill? Oh, wait a sec. That’s right. Almost all of our mass shootings have been by people who are mentally ill, and the system has dropped the ball so they wouldn’t show up on a background check anyway… But moving along our checklist of NRA sponsored evils.

the capacity of gun magazines could be near-infinite,

Except for that whole pesky physics thing, Captain Hyperbole…  But if anybody wants actual facts, read the first linked article where I delve into the tactics of magazine capacity, and how more rounds on hand is good not because you can shoot more, but because you are forced to manipulate less.  

 and it would be illegal for a city to stop people from carrying guns in public.

Because once again, Gun Free Zones are simply hunting preserves of the innocent. Criminals know this. When will you dumb shits get it through your thick skulls that bad people aren’t scared of your signs, and if they’re about to commit a couple hundred felonies including murder, they really don’t care about the additional misdemeanor gun charge.

This would be a country where you could literally buy an AR-15 at Walmart,

Hey, dumbass, I can walk into Walmart right now and buy a detachable magazine fed semi-automatic rifle.   So you already live in that country. You feel that, Matt? That’s freedom. Soak it up.

 immediately put on full tactical gear worn by SWAT teams,

And again, I’ve got a full set of Level 4 body armor and ballistic plates. Welcome to America. A country that you live in (I’m assuming).

I have SWAT armor, because I used to sell body armor to police departments, and I once had a big fellow cancel his order, and there aren’t many other 6’5” customers with a 56 inch chest, so I kept it. I love dealer cost. Most states have no law whatsoever against regular people having ballistic vests. When I taught basic pistol classes I would often wear a Level 2 concealable under my shirt just in case I ended up with an unsafe doofus like Matt’s dad at the range.

and stroll into a school for your parent-teacher conference with another fully armed adult. Practical!

This one already exists too. In my home state, concealed carry permits allow for carrying a firearm into a school. I carry a gun to parent teacher conferences, and since my kids’ teachers care about actually protecting their charges from crazy people, I can compliment her on her choice of concealed sidearm.

Yes, Matt. We have guns in schools in my state. MIND BLOWN. I’ve also gone before state legislatures and onto national news programs and talked about how and why volunteer school staff who are trained and equipped with concealed handguns are an excellent deterrent against school shootings. All it takes is a few tweaks to state law and you can have a cheap and effective speed bump against school shootings, tomorrow. And in my other article I go into exactly how this works safely, logistically, legally, and especially tactically as it directly effects the target selection and psychological response of the bad guy.

But oh no… We can’t have that. Screw effectiveness. Forget things that actually work! Because armed people make a gutless man-child like you feel icky inside. So why don’t you spew more nonsense about how nice it would be if you could magically reverse centuries of technology and human nature and other impossibilities, all why continuing to insult the character of the very people who you count on to protect you?

Shoot. All those scary things about this hypothetical NRA country, and you already live here! Tag a hit off your asthma inhaler and calm down. It is going to be okay, Matt.

You think I’m anti-gun. I’m not.

You don’t want people to have too many, and you don’t want anybody to have any that you find scary, and you don’t want people to have too big of magazines, and you don’t want them to actually take them anywhere where they might need them, and you want them kept in safes, and you don’t ever want to see them… Yeah… You’re totally not anti-gun.

 I think of guns like I do cars. Go ahead and own one. Waste your money on something fancy!

You know, the last time I pulled a gun on somebody in order to save an innocent man’s life, I came away feeling that was money well spent. Go figure. Ever since my wife pulled a pistol on a would be rapist, she’s never complained about all the money we’ve spent on guns.

On the topic of cars, since Matt is bloviating about deadly assault rifles, which are basically normal rifles that look scary, he probably thinks if you put a spoiler on a Honda Civic it transforms it into a high performance race car.

But the scenarios you are preparing for aren’t going to happen.

Says the dude writing an essay in the wake of a mass shooting…

Yeah, crazy scenarios totally never happen, until they do. I also have a fire extinguisher handy because it is the best tool for that job, even though my car is never going to catch on fire, except for that one time it did.

You aren’t going to save the day by shooting a terrorist in the grocery store.

Reductio ad absurdium. Sure, you probably won’t have a terrorist in the grocery store, but right down the road from here, we recently had a mad man slashing people with a knife at the neighborhood Smith’s grocery until he ran into a permit holder with a gun.

Remember, the big flashy mass shooting events are statistical anomalies that dominate the news, which armchair experts like Matt like to glom onto, as they go on to pick and choose what local crime events count.

 We need fewer guns so fewer people shoot their feet off, kill their girlfriends, kill themselves, and go on shooting sprees.

You know who is really super good at teaching gun safety? The NRA… Yes, that same super evil corporate mega-conspiracy of Dick Cheneyian Illuminati Bilderbergers swindling the easily bamboozled working man, is also the single best resource for teaching gun safety. In fact, that’s mostly what they do. (they certainly would have taught your father about the importance of hearing protection).  

As for fewer guns, now we’ve wandered back into happy rainbow unicorn land, where you can magically wish evil scary bad guns out of existence. We can see how well this has worked out in the various gun free paradises of the world. If you are going to use magic solutions, why don’t you just skip the part where you annoy the shit out of us, and just make all the bad people quit being bad instead?

You can have guns for hunting.

That’s mighty white of you, Matt. But let’s be honest, those scare you too. And since the only difference between a “gun for hunting” and an “ultra deadly assault rifle” is a few cosmetic features (and the fact that the hunting rifles is usually MORE powerful), we all know that you assholes will be along to regulate those as well.

And before you tell us the obligatory Nobody Wants To Take Your Guns! Here is a handy compilation of some of the many people on your side, who do in fact, want to confiscate our guns.

You can have them to ward off Mexican drug lords or whoever is going to storm into your house.

Wow. Terrorists at the grocery store and Los Zetas at your house? I’m glad I don’t live in Matt’s neighborhood. Of course, since he’s an armchair expert Matt is surely aware that most criminal encounters will be against run of the mill rapists, muggers, and violent assholes who just enjoy hurting people. If you carry a gun because of those regular and understandable threats then that doesn’t sound unreasonable, but people like Matt work in a world of magic and emotional exaggeration, which is why those dipshits need to spin it to sound like we’re expecting Die Hard.

Keep them there, in a locked safe.

Because when you need a gun, you need it right fucking now….

And if we by chance ever need a well-regulated militia for a revolution or zombie apocalypse, by god, we’re going to be really happy you were born with a micro-penis.

Yes, my penis has proven completely incapable of accurately launching a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second, and is thus totally inadequate for self-defense use, so I carry a .45 to compensate.  Thank you for your concern.

Nothing shows you mean serious business like closing a political argument by talking about your opponent’s dick. Quick question though, all of those hundreds of female students that I certified to carry concealed weapons, were they compensating for their tiny vaginas?

I’ve always been confused by that, but since Matt brought in the pop psychology, here is our word of the day: Hoplophobia. Meaning the irrational aversion to weapons. And to use it in a sentence: “Some may say that Matt suffers from Hoplophobia, but I think it is more likely he is simply too immature to accept responsibility for his own safety, and so projects his weakness, cowardice, and feelings of inadequacy onto others… Or he might just be a moron. Flip a coin.”



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134 thoughts on “Fisking an Ignorant Gun Control Editorial”

  1. Matt Bors is what I like to call a wannabe Judas goat. He wants to try to make you think he is some sort of “gun guy” and grew up with guns, etc. – just like you – and then he starts out with the gun-grabber rhetoric. He wants to pretend to like us so he can fool us to following him to the slaughter. A Judas goat for sure.

  2. No need to flip a coin. The poor boy is a moron. But I am willing to compromise with people like him.

    I hereby allow them to not own a weapon and in return, they cannot say anything about my right to own weapons.

  3. Larry, I’ve got a photo with a gun, a ruler, my penis and a woman’s hands (I was in a hurry, so it’s only ONE woman’s hands). I can send you the gallery URL.

    Next time one of them starts the small penis thing, send it to them. Let me know their reaction.

    1. It is kinda reasuring that most powerfull country in a world has its share of morons.makes me (as a legal immigrant) feel right at i come from has strict gun laws and guns(full auto millitary) are cheap and easy to get.joke goes when you are buying a gun you are alrady in so much trouble due to way you are going to use it that law no longer matters.i am happy to be in US cos i am now first time in my life legally armed .tnx larry for fun article

  4. All they have is emotion and name-calling, and when they can’t muster facts (because there are NONE that support their position), they resort to the “you must have a tiny penis, hurr hurr.”

    The only thing I’m “compensating for” is my small-boned frame and my herniated disc. But I guess it’s fine with him if I get raped or mugged by some asshole half again my size, because at least I wouldn’t be carrying one of those nasty GUNS he’s clutching his pearls about.

    1. Julie, that’s exactly it. Gun control advocates like him would prefer that you “win the moral high ground” in a situation like that and not defend yourself with some icky weapon.

      Either that or they are *concerned* because as a woman, you’re too weak and helpless to defend yourself against a criminal’s magical ninja powers and the weapon will be taken away from you.

    2. Myself, I’ve always figured the kind of people who make d!ck jokes about gun owners and their handguns are, at best, projecting their own inadequacies onto the rest of us.

      Just sayin’. 😉

      1. Projection is something they excel at. Notice all the times that hand-wringing antis talk about how they don’t own guns, because they don’t trust themselves to NOT go on shooting sprees, or road rage shootouts. The “logic” to them is that if they aren’t balanced enough to own guns responsibly, then no one is. Pure projection of their own self diagnosed (and likely accurate) emotional instability onto others.

      2. Matt wrote:

        “Notice all the times that hand-wringing antis talk about how they don’t own guns, because they don’t trust themselves to NOT go on shooting sprees, or road rage shootouts.”

        That was an outstanding comment. I will definitely have to remember that. 🙂



    3. Matt is one of those people who consider the woman who is raped and strangled with her own panty hose to be morally superior to the woman who has to explain to the police how her attacker acquired those bullet holes in his chest.

  5. Oh and flip a coin? nay..I’d rather flip matt and people like him, off a boat…into waters teeming with hungry sharks…that I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes chumming into a bloodlust driven feeding frenzy. Just doing my part to help keep some of my favorites among gods creatures happy, healthy and well fed.

  6. You aren’t going to save the day by shooting a terrorist in the grocery store.

    Terrorists? Perhaps not (although not entirely impossible), but just up the street from where I live, at a store where I shop (well, used to–see further) there was an armed robbery where the robbery took one of the employees hostage . . . which said robber was stopped by another employee who was, now pay close attention here, concealed carrying a firearm.

    Said employee, unfortunately, was then fired because of the store’s no guns policy (Gee, Larry, where have I seen that before? 😉 ) which is why I am . . . reluctant to shop there any more.

    OTOH, I’ve open carried at a couple of other stores and the only “trouble” I had was a “pro-gun” person basically telling me not to “freak the ‘danes”. That was a customer, not an employee. The employees didn’t have any problem with it.

    So that store gets my money.

  7. He got the compensatory penis theory in there, and lumped suicides in with murders like all good communist hoplophobes, but no references to “do it for the CHIIILDREEENNNN!” in there? No Sandy Hook chest beating? Seems a rank amateur to me. Psh.

    But as far as their compensatory theory goes, I never could understand that. It HAS to be liberal projection, because mine is large enough to beat people to death with, but going about my day with it hanging out as a deterrence or just being ready to use at a moment’s notice causes more trouble and alarm than the relative discretion of a concealed pistol. You only have to answer questions from responding officers ONCE as to why you have your baseball bat-sized penis dragging the floor at your local Stop-N-Go to realize the benefits of a hidden 9mm. You know, since they seem to not understand.

  8. “The men and women who make up the Gun Culture are the most independently minded folks you’ll find…” Yeppers, just get between the two sides on an argument about .45 vs 9 mm, or comparisons of any two guns.

      1. Ayup.
        Them: .45 or 9mm?
        Me. 10mm.
        T. Wait, what?! Um… ok, how about 5.56 or 7.62?
        Me. Like AR v. AK?
        T. Uh, yes.
        Me. 7.62x51mm.

  9. Hm, seems like he’s a pretty run of the mill anti, and none too smart. I’ve never figured out whether my manhood was bigger or smaller than the average, but on the other hand, I really don’t care, cause I don’t figure that is no ones business but my own (though I do hate it when people point and laugh and ask me if it comes in an adult size) Also, if I choose do own/carry and possibly even defend a gutless dipstick like Matt from the bad guys; (Oh wait, I did that already with my military career) then why should he care one way or the other. He has a choice not to carry or own, I have the choice to. Its called personal choice for a reason Matt, you dipstick!

  10. Thank you, Larry. Whenever the emotional shit storm erupts on the MSM and blogosphere, I anticipate you showing your figurative guns and logically vindicating all of us.

  11. (Pssst–editorial check: “where they compensating” should be “were they compensating”)
    I really dislike Bors’ tone (not to mention his appeals to ideology rather than common sense). His condescension allows him to feel superior, yet also at the same time play the game of pretending that he wasn’t really serious (since he was so cleverly jokey-snarky in his writing.)

  12. Thank you Mr. Correia. Thank you for shinning the light of truth and intelligence on another individual who clearly can’t tell his ass from a hole in the ground. You keep writing (books, blogs, ect.) and I’ll keep reading.

  13. In celebration of Matt Bors’s cogent essay on sensible gun control, I am going to practice some. At the Range. Right Now. In the middle of far left Seattletopia.

    I’m certain the permutations within the force caused by this use of PURE EVIL will result in multiple apoplectic fits, seizures and at least one attack of the vapors.

  14. “realize their destiny to be peaceful, non-lethal objects”

    Is this guy on drugs?

    On the other hand, at least he didn’t try to claim that the people at the Navy Yard, it being a military base, must’ve been armed to the teeth. I had to set a coworker straight on that the very next morning (that’s me, fighting the good fight, one clueless tool at a time).

    And I don’t have a penis at all, but he can still kiss my ass.

  15. I have been struggling with myself over whether or not to buy the kindle version of Warbound because $10 is significant money to me. After reading this I went straight to Amazon and bought it because I can’t do this and you should be supported for doing so for us.

  16. Let’s see…
    “I’m one of you,”
    “I have cred by virtue of being an idiot on a range once,”
    “guns are great but you shouldn’t have them,”
    “the evil NRA is playing you for chumps,”
    “the evil arms industry is playing you for chumps,”
    “think of the children,”
    “the Founders figured the smoothbore musket was the ultimate pinnacle of military technology,”
    “no honest man needs more than [n-1] bullets,”
    “CCW holder = tinfoil hat doomsday militia prepper,” and of course,
    “lol compensation.”

    Yeah, everything seems in order! This is like a short list of the worst arguments around for gun control. It’s tempting to suspect that this Matt guy is either running a subtle parody of the gun control side, or he’s just trolling us.

  17. Wonderfully put together, and a great point-by-point refutation. I’ve been a shooter for 50 years, and never hurt anyone. I don’t wave my .45 around “in public”, and my wife seems perfectly happy with the size of my penis, thanks.

    Thanks for bringing up the “gun free paradise” of Chicago. Every time I attempt to point that out, I get told, “well that’s different. People outside of Chicago bring them in.” I concede that, and point out that the same thing could happen in any other city where law-abiding citizens are kept from defending themselves. Of course, then they launch into, “Well, it needs to be nationwide”. At which point we start parsing the grammar of the Second Amendment *sigh*.

    Now I’ll go and read the earlier article.

    1. Yep. People from outside bring them in. Which means that if we banned all guns in America and pulled off the logistical impossibility of collecting all the existing ones, then no more would ever manage to come into the country… like the millions of tons of drugs that are banned here.

      England is a tiny ISLAND which has banned damn near everything, and they can’t keep guns out.

      1. I love when they make that ‘brought in from … ‘ argument… because then my next question is “then why doesn’t Gary (or whatever other place they mention the guns coming from) have the same crime problems?”

    2. Well, you know the nationwide ban has worked so well on keeping drugs out of the country, so why wouldn’t it work on guns?


    3. Someone the other day was saying that Illinoins needed to extend the range of the ban so it would deter the people who bring guns in from the outside. I didn’t laugh, because he was being, on the whole, polite, but I had to just shake my head.

    1. That is the only thing you have to say concerning your failure of an article? That you claim to be a gun owner yet you are fine with restrictions on the 2nd Amendment?

      Also, I’m curious as to why you have an obsession with small penises.

    2. You could be an IPSC champion and own a stockpile of nuclear warheads for all I care. Doesn’t change the fact that your points were asinine, your arguments spurious, your facts dubious, and your self righteousness galling. You owning a gun doesn’t grant you wisdom. Joe Biden and Diane Feinstein own guns too and they are denser than a bag of hammers.

      1. I don’t have time to read the whole piece right now and I’ve never found much good comes from arguing back and forth in comments. I wrote a piece and he wrote a takedown of it. Fine with me. People can read them both and figure out what they think about things.

        1. Let them read and decide for themselves? Uh huh… I wouldn’t worry too much about that.

          If you take the time to read anything at all, read the first link, where I have actually gone through all of your tired, repetitive soundbyte based arguments in depth. You said absolutely nothing we haven’t heard before ad nauseum. You really should read that, but you probably won’t, because deep down inside you know you are full of shit and lack the spine to admit it. So it is easier to deal in platitudes and get patted on the head by other ass kissing statists for correctly following the party line…

          And you mock NRA members for being followers? Heh… Amusing.

          Look, seriously dude, you call yourself an armchair expert because you’ve watched the news and own a gun? Let me put it this way. Armchair is the right word. Comparing our knowledge base, you played half a game of pee wee flag football before your asthma acted up, and I had a career in the NFL. Your ignorance is profound and amusing, and anybody who told you that what you wrote was thought provoking or meaningful is either a liar or an imbecile.

      2. You don’t have time to read the whole piece and respond to it Matt? It should take you just a few minutes to read it. It didn’t take me long.

        People only need to read Larry’s fisking to see how wrong you are.

        1. One quick note on responses, just because I know you guys and I’ve got way too many vets with senses of humor on here… Please nobody start posting pictures of your junk to refute Matt’s small penis nonsense. 😀 My kids read this blog!

        1. I worked for the military way too long. I know that if this topic comes up, there will be evidence presented.

          I don’t know how Matt feels about hundreds of guys emailing him pictures of their junk. It isn’t my place to judge. 😀

      1. Matt Bors is not interested in being educated about a subject he has no education in. He is only interested in parroting the party line. The same bullshit that most of us have heard over and over again.

    3. *snort* That tiny “misconception” pales in comparison to your utter ignorance in the rest of that piece. I’m so glad you own a gun, sir, and how big is your penis, since that seems to be a matter under discussion?

    4. If you actually believed as you wrote, shouldn’t you have given up your gun, melted it down to some abstract art or otherwise acted consistently with your beliefs?

      Otherwise, aren’t you the very problem of which you complain?

      Of course not. You’re one of those who feels entitled to their own personal right, but feels that other citizens cannot be trusted with the same right.

      Here’s the bad news: no gun owner or person who has any regard for integrity or sincerity is going to give you a moment of their concern unless you walk as you talk. You claim you are adequately protected by society? Give up your gun(s) and leave your personal safety and that of your family and loved ones to the vagaries of fate.

      Otherwise, quit wasting peoples’ time.

    5. And if the identity of the writer, rather than the arguments, was the issue, that might help. As you wrote a blatant piece of stupidity, however – not so much.

  18. First, let me say that just because you shot a gun once, doesn’t mean you know shit. Michael Moore is a lifetime member of the NRA for crying out loud. If you want to wave the “I’m one of you” banner, you should…I don’t know…be one of us.

    Second, I’m not a fan of the NRA in a lot of ways. I think they’re actually to eager to compromise. However, the NRA hasn’t gotten anyone “duped”. They are what they are. They do what they do. For the record, we all know it too. Those who are members especially know what the organization does. I had a long conversation with my boss, who is active with the NRA, about it and he agreed with all my criticisms. No one is being hoodwinked…except the gun grabbers who think they are on to something because Piers Morgan said it.

    Third, quit with the penis size shit. Seriously. I’m so damn sick of being told I’m overcompensating for a small penis. The reality is that I’m overcompensating for a life spent pursuing things other than hurting my fellow man with my bare hands, knives, clubs, or similar weapons…unlike those who may wish me and mine harm.

    The reality is that guns are the great equalizer. It’s how a small framed individual (male or female) can defeat a much larger and physically gift opponent who means to hurt them.

    Maybe Bors’ efforts shooting as a child damaged more than his hearing…like killing to many brain cells. Tell me Matt, did Daddy make you eat lead bullets when you went shooting with him?

    1. How much money did the NRA throw around the Colorado recall compared to Mayor Bloomberg… Oh, yeah, that big super evil NRA (made up of 4 million individuals) spent a fraction of what one rich New Yorker a thousand miles away did? The nerve!

      1. Minor nit. Bloomberg _by himself_ spent about as much as the NRA did, representing 4 million people – roughly $500K. Bloomberg rallied several of his buddies who made up the rest of that $3+m warchest.

      2. Supporters of the Dems here in CO brought in around $6M to defend the senators. Pro gun lobby had about $500K…I didn’t see/hear ANY ads from them…and they were recalled very soundly, in spite of the ‘voter suppression’ that Giron tried to blame.

    2. The NRA’s power is in the number of voters it can mobilize into action, and the consequences for politicians who want to keep their cushy job.

  19. Hey, Matt, since you’re here, I gotta tell you something.

    Look, you and your fellow hoplophobes really need to get over your obsession with my dick. I mean, don’t get me wrong–I got nothing against gay folks. I’m flattered, totally. But my ding-dong is the sole property of my wife. You simply aren’t going to get any use out of it. So why on Earth do you keep bringing it up? Why do you care how big (or small) it is? How does it possibly matter to you?

    Honestly, you guys spend more time thinking about my junk than I do. I strongly recommend you seek help for this obviously unhealthy fixation.

    1. The problem with trying to make allegedly witty cracks about penis size is one of substance. A clueless preening a-hole clown with a big wing wong is still a clueless preening a-hole clown.

      That’s not good rhetoric from an ethos POV. Logos is likewise poor. Pathos is a bit erratic though intense.

      Bad advice from an ignorant jerk with emotional issues and a mighty trouser-thug, hell even two of them in an under/over configuration, if that’s what sells best in the meat market dance clubs these days, is worth far less than good informed advice from a human with a small penis or no penis at all.

      That’s just how advice works. Quality is king. Speculative dimensional analysis of engorged male genitalia? Hmm…not so much. But I’m sure Mr. Bors knows the interests of his intended audience better than I do.

  20. RE: the correlation with size of weapon vs size of reproductive organs thing… why is it that most folks that tote a CCW pistol tend to go for what are known as ‘mouse guns’? How does toting a small gun compensate for a small unit?

      1. I’ve got pistols ranging in size from a giant STI longside 10mm to a tiny Kahr MK9… I mostly carry the little MK9, but I shoot the STI better. Does that make me bi-curious? Now I’m just confused.

  21. Add one to your “you’re already in my world list”:

    In my state, the state constitution prohibits cities from banning guns in public.

    One major city tried to ban guns in city parks, courts shut the mayor down quickly.

    And I live in a very blue state.

  22. Another point for our (ahem) Freudian Constitutional Scholar: ever ponder what that phrase “Letters of Marque and Reprisal” means in our US Constitution… maybe the personal ownership of warships….

    1. I brought something like that up based on Matt’s stupid Politfact graph. They compare murder rates to socially homogenous Japan, with its culture and history based on individual submission to the needs of community, against the giant, ethnically, socially, and economically diverse US, and of course, Japan is different. Duh. Apple, meet orange. So that’s your one statistical marker? Gun ownership? Japan could be awash in guns and they would still have a lower murder rate. Though when they do the same thing for suicide, they always like to leave Japan out of those studies, because culturally they’ve mastered killing themselves without guns extremely well, and that always skews the predetermined narrative.

      Yet, why won’t these studies look at apples to apples. Why not compare two giant US cities to each other? Like Houston vs. Chicago. Houston has way more guns… But wait, Houston also has an extremely diverse population, poverty, social issues, etc. But which one of the two are you more likely to get murdered in? Duh. And Houston happens to have ultra-violent Mexico right down the road, while Chicago has peaceful Canada across the lake.

      Nope. Can’t do that. Let’s take Utah or Idaho, with the highest per capita gun ownership in America, and compare our population to a big liberal city… Oh, wait… Can’t do that. That would be apples and oranges they say! Those two things are not like the other! There’s social stuff, blah, blah, blah… Except when the comparision fits their predetermined narrative, then run with, baby. The US is more dangerous than Belgium! Gasp! Hey, why don’t we do a comparison between the US and another ethnically, socially, economically diverse nation that has strict gun contorl, like Brazil? Oh, no. Can’t do that! They’re too statistically different! That’s doesn’t count!


      Nope. It is always the US vs. the Neatherlands or some other country that has been fundamentally socially stable for 800 years. They can’t not realize that there is nothing like the US in the rest of the world. If I do a study showing that a bible study girl’s choir has a lower crime rate than innercity Detroit, they scream that doesn’t count, but oh, let’s look at the US and compare to an island nation in Asia. I love when they do US vs. Canada, and they’re like, see, see! Except that most of Canada is equivelent to Boise, Idaho, and the comparision falls apart. Once you gank America’s innercity thug-life murdercentric drug fest from the equation, the US is equal too or less violent than Canada.

      1. Whenever making an international comparison the anti-gun freedom deniers always say “developed world” or “western world” or something like that (because otherwise you start seeing a _lot_ of countries more violent than the US).

        What they fail to realize is that simply by making that limitation they are admitting that cultural/economic/ethnic factors play a _far_ greater roll than does legal availability of firearms. If they didn’t, no such limitation would be necessary.

      2. Even better than Houston/Chicago, do El Paso/Detroit. One is a city “awash” in guns and across the border from the murder capitol of Mexico, while the other features fairly onerous “gun control” laws, and is across the border from a fairly peaceful town. Both cities have similarly-sized populations.

        Yet in spite of a high poverty rate, “diversity”, nearness to said murder capitol, and a high rate of gun ownership, El Paso has 1/20 the murder rate of Detroit (the lowest of any city of equal or larger size). How is this possible?

        Fortunately for lefties, “gun control” is a theological matter, so they don’t worry themselves about such statistics.

      3. Thanks especially for this last bit Larry! Between your comparisons and thewriterinblack’s excellent point, I actually found an insight in today’s debate that I hadn’t heard before.

        Not that I need any convincing one way or the other…

      4. I did a quick check of available data for Houston and Chicago. Although both cities list data for murders, they do NOT give a breakdown by weapon type used as in the FBI’s UCR Expanded Homicide Data.

        The Chicago Tribune also lists crime data by neighborhood. But homicides are lumped in with robbery, battery, assault, and criminal sexual assault. Similarly, no breakdown by weapon type used.

      5. Well, the other issue is that they take a very narrow focus on gun crimes only, then don’t bother to filter out the illegally-owned guns from the mix. So, you’ve got yet another apples/oranges comparison here.

        Further, they don’t look at violent deaths overall, which are an unintended consequence of victim disarmament. England may (and I stress “may”) have relatively low gun-related death rates, but their overall violent death rate places them at the top of Europe, and I believe it’s higher than ours.

        One thing I tell people is that deleting Chicago, DC, Detroit, and New Orleans (four cities run by Democrat mayors, three of which have ridiculously draconian gun laws), the US has one of the lowest violent crime and gun-related death rates in the world. It’s higher than Japan’s, but that’s about it.

  23. Wait a minute, isn’t there some idiotic federal statute which basically says schools across the country MUST be gun free zones?

    I’m leaving aside the whole unconstitutional thing about the feds telling any given state how to run the schools in their jurisdiction. I’m just talking factually at the moment.

    I guess I’m in some sense wrong since you do have schools in your state that allow concealed carry. But is that like a nullification thing or am I just wrong on the law?

    1. There isn’t a federal statute, but Utah is one of the very few (if not the only one) that’s got it right. Victim Disarmament Zones have been proven time and again not to work.

  24. Very good, Larry. Very, very good! I’d need some zest to come close to your deft edge. Espresso only goes so far.

    Matt, you need to get out more. Seriously. Explore the flyover country. Maybe ditch the blue Prius, though. (Shameless Dunham joke reference at your expense)

    Why do I have more than one firearm? I accessorize to be discrete whenever I am in an urban setting: The Major Power Factor Flying Ashtray handloads in my favorite 1911 rarely works well with a skirt and sensible shoes but when I downsize I add reloads, honey, because from real life experience I know the limitations of a lesser round on the predator(s). And a back-up gun because Murphy never – ever – takes a scheduled holiday.

    If my kids were still in school I’d damn well insist it was a school where the staff were legally armed and parents were welcomed to volunteer CCWing – because if I trust the school with my kid’s developing minds I’d better know without a doubt their teachers could actually protect them! I’d look forward to going to PTA meetings at the range!

    It’s difficult to successfully “dupe” someone on American rights and basic concepts of the Constitution if they’ve made a habit of reading the Federalist Papers and pursue personal responsibility over the nanny state and entitlements.

    You like mythical, perfect record keeping and ST:TNG grade psych evals as a requisite? Take a break from cosplay and put Data’s outfit back in the closet. Liberty is neither flawless, or even particularly tidy: it takes a spine to believe in the moral quality of complete strangers on the street. It takes heart to run towards cries for help, cries of fear and pain with the sole thought of your being, “I can help.”

    Liberty demands that of Americans. It also frees people like you to abdicate and be a fussy boy.

    Now, about the multi-billion dollar gun industry. I think you’re confusing civilian firearms industries with USA arms deals and the defense industry.

    And finally, a simple, durable machine, a common tool doesn’t have a “destiny.” What happens after it is picked up is completely the responsibility of the individual wielding it: a craftsman, a commoner, a fool or a criminal.

    Larry’s a treasured master craftsman.

    I’m an ordinary commoner pushing sixty.

    And you’ve declared which you are beyond a shadow of doubt.

  25. If your penis proves capable of accurately launching a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second, please seek medical help.

  26. Hey Larry! I’ve read your blog for years (every since you got me hooked on your books, darn you!), but this is my first time posting.

    As a self proclaimed gun nut, FFL dealer, gunsmith, competitive shooter, and firearms instructor, I guess this guy just showed me. Oh, except I’m a WOMAN, so I’m pretty sure that my owning guns isn’t compensating for the size of my dick.

    I am also a graphic artist, so I too can draw little cartoons and diagrams to support any argument I am not qualified to talk about. After all, nothing wins an argument like cartoons.

    It amazes me that, even after working in the firearms industry for 6 years, I never seem to see the end of idiots like this who just love sharing all of their “knowledge” about guns and “gun violence.” However, I’ve also talked to folks from Australia, and many other nations that have tried the whole getting rid of guns thing, and they have watched their violent crimes go through the roof while they’re waiting for the happy little, violence free rainbow land that their politicians promised them. By all means, let’s try it too!

    I wonder what this guy would think if we outlawed his Iphone, since more than 9 people a day are killed by a distracted driver. At the very least, outlaw those scary texting phones, because people don’t really need to be able to text from a phone do they? Yep, everyone should have to go back to the good old rotary dial phones to make people safer. Or better yet, maybe go back to letter writing like our forefathers did when they wrote the Constitution, then everyone would be safer and nobody would ever die again.

    Thanks for the laugh and for doing your part to educate the ignorant masses about those scary guns!

    As for me, I think I will continue to teach people to shoot, because no doubt, someone will have to save the Matt Bors of the world, just so they can continue to talk about things they know nothing about.

  27. Do these people all write the same article? ” I’m not against guns” quickly morphs into “You people are evil, dumb and have miniscule genitalia!” How does anyone take them seriously?

    Love these fisking posts!
    P.S. Larry, I listen to all of the MHI books over and over at work in my car. Is Dead Six ever going to be an audio book?

  28. The article overall is excellent, as I’ve come to expect from my occasional readings of your blog (I don’t know where some people find the time for reading hundreds of blogs and still hold down a day job), but that line near the beginning about making your sandwich totally wrong? You came VERY close to owing me a new keyboard to replace the one that was almost shorted out by a spray of cola. 😛

  29. I firmly believe the penis size thing is a subtle attempt to get us, collectively, to go, “Oh YEAH?” and furnish them with pictures of our dicks.

    Next up they’ll try and encourage us to run for mayor of NYC..

    1. Wow, some of the comments on that Economist article are scary. One guy said they need to have the military spend 5 years doing house to house searches and take every single gun unless you live in a rural area. Yikes. Another friendly Canadian thought some of those pesky amendments should be suspended for a while….

  30. Fisking an Ignorant Gun Control Editorial | Monster Hunter Nation Os adrezco el compartir con todos nosotros toda esta interesante información. Con estos granitos de arena hacemos màs grande la montaña Internet. Enhorabuena por este blog.

  31. Larry,

    I apologize for replying to an old post but wanted to get you insight on open carry.

    “However, I do understand why some people choose to open carry. It is a giant “Fuck you” to people like you, and that I can applaud.”

    That is one of the reasons I do open carry when piratical, but more importantly, I also see value in crime prevention with open carry. In a previous post you mentioned your wife pulled a gun on someone that decided to get all “rapey” on her (thank God she had a way to defend herself). What if she open carried and the sick puke noticed that? Do you think the would be rapist would have approached her in the first place? Or would he went looking for a softer target?

    I do see a benefit in both types of carry methods and would like to hear your opinion on both.

  32. Larry,

    Have you done an in-depth analysis of the background check laws and various proposals to expand it? You mention it briefly here, but it’s not addressed in your big gun control post.

    Thanks, from a fan of your books, and now your blog.

  33. Just checked out Bors’ Facebook page so y’all don’t have to. He hits all the lib sign-offs: Global Warmng? Check. Men are rapists? Check. Techno-geek fanboy crap? Check.

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