The great Cookie Monster thread.

By popular request, one of the oddest, dumbest, weirdest Facebook threads ever has been cataloged by David Burkhead for your convenience. It all started out as a serious discussion before the election about what would happen if Mitt Romney defunded PBS.

And then I got involved. I started telling stories about Cookie Monster’s mercenary days, and it was all downhill from there:

Seriously. Go and read. It goes on for a bit before I jump in, and then a bunch of other guys catch on, and it just goes insanely downhill from there. The very end is boring stuff where people got back onto topic, but the middle part is hilarious.


Interview with me, Association of Mormon Letters
I'm a guest at SLC ComicCon

34 thoughts on “The great Cookie Monster thread.”

  1. It was awesome, Larry. Thank you for participating and brightening up the conversation. 😉

    Also note the the original thread had a “spin off” (maybe more than one–I don’t recall) which has been brought over into the comments.


    You wanna talk about a bad mofo…

    My uncle’s cousin’s former roomate served with Oscar in the LRRPs in Southeast Asia. Lets just say that to this day, there are several villages along the Trail that won’t allow anyone to even possess a garbage can.

  3. I heard it on rumor that CC is think accepting a Gov Job to retrain the TSA to find contraband and illegal baked goods being smuggled into the country.

  4. “Epic”, dose not come close to describing that thread. I laughed so hard I was gasping and drooling down my chin. My wife thought that i was stroking out.

  5. OMG, you need a new MHI monster on the team! There’s already a PUFF exemption for you-know-who and who knows what other people… get another one! A large, 6’6″, blue, fuzzy monster that speaks Cajun and has a soft spot for Pastries and in addition to his excellent Sparky-esque hand-to-hand abilities, he also eats them if he can get away with it, granting him abilities beyond being a giant combat expert that’s big, blue, and hairy. Maybe the blue only comes out during battle lust. That way he can still travel with the team.

    1. You make C.W. sound like Sergeant Schlock’s (many times) great-grandfather.

      Which isn’t a bad thing, mind you…

  6. Ok. So now I have to Photoshop a pic of CM in full battle rattle with a giant (bloodstained??) switchblade standing in the smoking remains of a namelless village with flour on his nostrils. I just need a really good tagline for it 😉

  7. I never saw C.W. in action. How could I? I was a satellite communications puke so far away from the front lines that even REMFs looked down on me.

    We used to watch the Predator feeds from the birds down range. Some days, we’d see a village and then the feed would just cut out. It’d come back, hours later, to shattered buildings, vehicles, and bodies. We always wondered what had happened, talked about it even, when the shift extended into the dark hours of the night and the sergeants were too busy to listen.

    Now I know.

    I wish I didn’t.

    1. Oh the cookiemanity! The horror! All that fresh cookie dough! Wasted in its youth! *sob* Cut down in it prime! *sniffsobchoke* Eaten before its time! Why is this a rhyme????

  8. Does anyone remember the posters of UBL with Bert in the background right after 9/11? This isn’t a joke BTW it’s fact. There was a thing on the web about Bert being evil and people were photoshopping him into all kids of pics with bad guys. Then on the news plain as day there was a bunch of protestors in some middle eastern city carrying the posters of bin Laden and Bert. I laughed my ass off that day.

  9. Behind every rule is a guy that is the reason that rule was written… Now I know why our Law of Armed Conflict briefs are called “Cookie Briefs.”
    And we thought all those JAG officers were speaking hypothetically. We used to be innocent. Now we never sleep…

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