Speaking about Obama’s decision to send the SEALs to get Osama: “You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan,”
Yes… That was certainly the most audacious military move in five hundred years, if not EVAR!
Like many history buffs, I am a little confused by this statement. So I sat down with Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden to ask his opinions on matters of military history.
LC – You said that Barack Obama made the most audacious military move in five hundred years. What about D Day? You’d think the biggest, craziest, most secret invasion ever would be audacious.
JB –Nope. Bunch of chumps sunning themselves on a beach.
LC – Manhattan Project war ending super weapon?
JB –Nerds and their slide rules.
LC – What about the turning point of Midway, or the Japanese surprise attack that destroyed our Pacific fleet?
JB –Barack Obama plays with cooler boats in the bath tub!
LC – Ok, Joe. What about during the Korean War when a handful of frostbitten Marines fought off a million Chinese?
JB –Barack Obama’s played golf games that were tougher.
LC – Lost Brigade?
JB –Barack Obama never gets lost! The Secret Service has GPS.
LC – Seriously? What about facing certain death and answering Nuts?
JB – I don’t even know what that means, but Barack Obama loves him some cashews!
LC – Maybe I’m not thinking big enough. That’s only this century. You said five centuries. What about the Alamo?
JB – I don’t drink imported beer.
LC – George Washington versus the best army in the world?
LC – You know. Founding Father. War of Independance… The Constitution?
JB – I’m not familiar with this “constitution” thingy, but whoever he was he was a punk ass bitch compared to Barack Obama!
LC – You know, five hundred years is really a long time, and there were some fairly audacious military folks making some fairly audacious decisions during that. Napoleon, Robert E. Lee, Lord Nelson, Shaka Zulu, Geronimo… Hell, Hernando Cortez and Oda Nobunaga squeek into that timeframe… These aren’t ringing any bells are they?
JB- Sorry, I was getting another beer from that convenience store down on the corner. It’s owned by an Indian. Not that kind of Indian. The other kind. Like all the taxi drivers. With the dot on their forehead. Not the kind with feathers.
LC – I swear, you’re like a circus clown trapped in a vice president’s body. You’re like assassination insurance. May God have mercy on us all.
Well there you go, folks. Everything, in history, ever, for all time, pales next to finding out that the most wanted man in the world is in a house in Pakistan and sending a group of Navy SEALs to kill his ass, even after you blithered on about it, almost didn’t do it because you were afraid of hurting feelings, and got manipulated into it by Leon Panetta and Hillary Clinton.
Joe’s latest brings back memories of such classics as this one: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/joe-biden-and-bud-light-presents-teh-bestest-president-evar/ It almost makes you wish for the good old days, like when the media destroyed a vice president for spelling potato wrong. Oh wait, that was a republican. Never mind.