State of Correia

Many people have asked me if I’m going to Fisk last night’s State of the Union like I did last year. If you will recall, it was an epic.

Sadly, listening to that much nonsense in one sitting took a year off my life. I couldn’t bear to subject myself to it again. Plus I’ve got killer deadlines to write things that actually pay me money. That’s okay though, let me summarize the State of the Union for you:

We’re boned.

Okay, moving on… Oh, wait… You want more? I don’t know, it was something about how everything is going to be just swell, because even though we took government spending to the highest levels ever, it’s cool, because after we took spending to new highs, we froze it there.  Yes. That’s the answer. Because if I have an annual income of $50,000, but I spent $75,000 each year for the last few years, and now I’m in huge trouble, the answer to my financial woes is to freeze my spending at 75 K, because… Hell, I don’t know why. F*** fiscal responsibility is why.

Then there was something about everything was going to be okay because of subsidized Green Jobs. You see, Green Jobs are the answer to our woes. (so awesomely profitable that they don’t exist!) That is kind of like wishing for unicorns to save us, but hey, whatever floats your boat. If Obama had told us that the economy was going to be okay because he’d just got an awesome deal on some magic beans in order to grow a bean stalk and then he was going to pay down the debt with golden eggs, that would be more believable than Green Jobs.

Remember everyone, only government spending can stimulate the economy. Just not at Lockheed, because screw those guys. What would we ever need more than a handful of F-22s for? It isn’t like any ambitious nation is going to try to match our military capability any time soon—

Crap. Never mind.

That J-20 Chinese 5th generation stealth fighter there was paid for by a couple days worth of interest on the money we borrowed to subsidize the development of the Chevy Volt. Hooray for Green Jobs!

The State of the Union is just spiffy though. Gas is $100 a barrel and rising fast, but we’re not allowed to use our own resources. Ken Salazar recently ruined the economy of eastern Utah with stupid new regulations and screwing the oil workers. But I digress, because why would you want to stimulate those kinds of jobs?

At least there wasn’t any heated rhetoric. Heaven forbid. I don’t know why anybody should be upset or angry, anyway.

Enough of that depressing crap. Now back to the real writing. I’m currently working on Dark Ocean, the second book in The Grimnoir Chronicles.  I’m pumped for you guys to get to read the first one, Hard Magic. It comes out in May. I’m getting the proof pages this week, so we should have eARCs available shortly.  Seriously, it is an excellent book, and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased.

By the way, ordering info for autographed copies from Uncle Hugos is going up soon, and by popular demand, I’m going to be doing personalizations on request. Because that is how much I love you guys. (and even more, that’s how much Uncle Hugo’s loves you, because they’re going to keep track of all those as the orders come in).

I’ve got 4 books coming out in 2011. Hard Magic in May, Monster Hunter Alpha in August, Dead Six in October, and Dark Ocean in November. I’m going to LTUE, StellarCon, ConDuit, WorldCon, DragonCon, and I’m doing a 7 state road trip book signing. All in all, I’m traveling to 11 states for book stuff. (Utah, Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Minnesota, Georgia, Nevada, and North Carolina) Plus I just got back from doing an event at SHOT.  

Then I’ve still got a few books to write along with John Ringo, two more with Mike Kupari (Swords of Exodus & Project Blue), Monster Hunter Legion, Monster Hunter Nemesis, two more Grimnoir novels, and then I’ve got a couple of standalone projects, and other very big and very exciting stuff that I’m not even allowed to talk about on the internet yet. Dang, I am busy.

My family is awesome. Kids are in a good school now and not surrounded by hooligans. I live in the mountains where the air is clean. We are woken up by avalanche cannons and have yard moose. I have a custom 10mm personally blessed by the Motor City Madman coming. By day I help keep F-16s in the air and by night I get paid large sums of money to (as my Mom puts it) tell stories and make crap up. Life is good.   

The State of Union might suck, but the State of the Correia is doing just fine.

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