NICKWOLF RETURNS AGAIN! With special commentary by Larry Correia

Nickwolf has returned! Hallelujah, my favorite internet nutjob has returned! For those of you who’ve not had the pleasure of meeting Nickwolf, click here and prepare to be amazed. Then he replied with this one where he threatened to beat up his own grandparents. That’s how hardcore Nickwolf is.

You probably need to go read those last posts before you dive into this one unprepared. Nickwolf hates… I don’t know… everything, (especially grammar and punctuation) but he sure does love him some Obama. Infuriated by my last response, he wiped the spittle from his screen and wrote this reply. It only took him a month, but Nickwolf works at his own pace. I’ll say one thing though, Nickwolf sure brought his A-game this time. Sure, his A-game is tether-ball, but we’ll take what we can get.

As usual, the guest comments are in italics. My comments are in bold. Believe it or not, I actually cleaned up some of his formatting too. He likes to randomly hit return in the middle of sentences.



President Obama, was elected President by a landslide Majority vote. 52.9% ooooooh aaaaahhhh color me impressed! He totally defeated that sock puppet of Colonel Tigh.

The Health Care Reform Bill was passed by a majority vote. Proving that billions of dollars of bribe money goes a long way. Fake named Tea Party minorities want to rule the Majority. If they can’t get elected, oh, wait… have you not been paying attention? Probably not. The Tea Party backed candidates are dominating the primaries and the democrats are poised to take the biggest congressional midterm loss in history.

So, if you cite the majority as being an absolute and the majority of Americans don’t want socialized medicine (well, at least a much higher percentage than your Obama “landslide” majority) wouldn’t you just have turned around and shot down your own argument?

they threaten second amendment cures! Funny. I’ve not got that e-mail yet, and I’m the one that’s supposed to bring the chips. Considering that we’re armed to the teeth and lousy with veterans, we’re a peace loving bunch. Tea Party happens, nobody gets arrested, not even for littering. Lefty gathering and they shut down Seattle for a week to flip burning cars over. Trust me Nicky, when my side gets uppity, you’ll know.

What’s not Fascist about this. Shouting down Grandma at a town hall meeting … Fascist! Last time I checked, you were the one threatening your own grandma. I feel pretty bad for the lady.

Why use spellcheck for the reason impaired Tea Gang?
Don’t do it for me. Do it for socialism. Because really, you’re not doing your side any favors.

Their not worth the time! That would be ‘they’re’.

I am a member of the writers Guild of America and have several copywriter (?) scripts, books and papers. BWA HA HA HA HA!!! Dude! That’s great. I want to see one. Seriously. Please. That would be awesome. I can only imagine:

THE STAR WAR’S BY NICKWOLF a copywritered script


LUKE – your not my father darth vaders is not

DARTH VADERS – I am your fathers Luke’s


–    Editor – Unreadable possible ketchup stain? –


Using reason with those who have abandoned it is like giving medicine to a deadman ” Thomas Paine Drat. He quoted Thomas Paine, thereby preventing me from using my stock photo of Grimace again.  

I wax on ” Cyrano ”  Huh? I like Gerard Depardieu as much as the next guy, or was that a Mr. Miyagi reference? 

Still pimpin’.

Nope! You don’t get to say that you espouse the beliefs of the founding fathers! I don’t? That must have been part of the 2,000 pages of the health care bill.

George Washington was a founding father and he said ” This is not a tax created by a King, but by the Representative Government in Virginia ” It is the law of the land ” ! Another quote out of context, but once Nickwolf discovered wikiquote, all bets were off. Here’s one for you. “I would have used Nickwolf to muck out the horse stables, however I was too concerned about the safety and chastity of the horses to inflict such terror upon them.” – Benjamin Franklin

You know it is getting weird when a socialist is quoting George Washington and thinks everything is totally square.

Where by he put down the fake Tea Party slogan bearers rebellion ( The Whiskey Rebellion ) by using the Militia from another State ( Which the President is the head of..all militia’s)by point of bayonet and canon!
So the Tea Party movement that originated in 2008 travelled back in time to be defeated by George Washington. I’ve got to find Doc Brown and warn him.


So no, you are not Patriots doing what the founding fathers wanted. You are Traitorous, hate propagating, scum. Treason is actually a law, with an actual definition other than “disagrees with me”. You may want to look into that.


No Americans bearing false witness against your neighbors….who elected President Obama with a popular majority. So, in 2010 when Obama’s side gets trounced, will you finally shut the **** up?

Dude, George Washington would have run Nancy Pelosi through with his sword. As for shouting in a public meeting, I take it you’re not familiar with the Continental Congress?

The founding fathers were strongly opinionated men of conviction, who argued passionately for what they believed in. They were called treasonous for going against what the “vast majority” of the British Empire wanted as well. So by my standards, being called treasonous by a statist is compliment. Thank you.

THEY WOULD NOT SCARE WOMEN AND CHILDREN WITH A PATHETIC SHOW OF ARMS IN PUBLIC! Of course, nobody every carried a gun in public back then! 

“I call it ye-olde thunderstick.”



i.e. Treason = disagreeing with Barack Obama. Gotcha.

Debate your issues, win over my mind and I will vote for you…. Wait, is that before or after you threatened to kill me like last time?

try to force your views only makes it clear that you are wrong! AND A FASCIST BY HISTORICAL REFERENCE. Okay. So disagreeing is treason. Debating is treason. And I’m a fascist because I disagree with socialism… Wow. Anybody else getting a headache?

I will never join a t-baggers mob! Gay men everywhere just breathed a sigh of relief.

Al Capone was busy being dead. I love mob gatherings though. Since I look so much like James Gandolfini, I get in for free.


No relation.

AFRAID OF THE TRUTH? PALINS AFRAID, BOCKMAN’S AFRAID, BECK’S AFRAID, LIMPBALLS IS AFRAID……AFRAID OF THE TRUTH SO THEY NEVER DEBATE….. Yes, because when I think of the above named (yet sadly misspelled) people, I think of people that never ever ever never publically talk about what they believe in…


THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE’S RETURN WOULD END ALL THEIR SHOWS! Yes. Because if you’re all about free speech, you should be in favor of a law that infringes it.

DEBATE OR DIE! TEA BUMS Let’s see. I did some debate in high school (though I much preferred extemporaneous public speaking).The Tea Party stands for smaller government. They seem to be winning the national debate on a pretty large scale. Nickwolf’s response consisted of screaming and flinging poo like a wild howler monkey. Judges? Well, looks like a unanimous decision. Tea Party is going to win this round.

the only cure for dumb-ass unintelligent,Republicrats … was invented by Progressive scientists….in the 17th Century. Public Dunking was a very popular penalty for numbnuts like fake Tea baggers.  According to Nickwolf’s history teachers, after a revolution against an extremely powerful government, proponents of smaller government then publically dunked proponents of smaller government, because scientists of a political movement that didn’t originate for another two hundred years said so.

All anti American Speech is not wrong, but hate mongering, racist speech is! And Nickwolf’s though police will be there to protect us all!


 So get ready were (we’re?) building the dunking machines and bringing them to the next town hall meeting where you hope to shout Grandma down when she tries to speak! Nickwolf’s grandma was abused endlessly, but happily I can report that a recent Obama Death Panel decided to just put her to sleep. Yay!


Men don’t have to shout…they kick ass! Nick. Seriously, dude. My average reader could kill an entire room of angsty-socialists with a rolled up newspaper. Do you really need to keep going on about how manly and tough you are? It’s kind of sad.I’m all about debate. Except you don’t debate. You scream, bang your head on the keyboard, make shit up, and then toss around fascist-fascist-racist-tea-bag. If you consider that debating I’d pay good money to see your idea of a rant.


FASCISTS ALWAYS LAUGH BEFORE THEY ARE NEUTERED…..AND THEY ARE ALWAYS NEUTERED! Nick… I’m a little worried about you. You seem to have a strange fixation on balls today.

CHECK OUT THE HISTORY OF YOUR KIND. DON’T READ AMERICAN HISTORY…. Yes, socialists hate when you read history. BECAUSE COMPARING YOURSELVES TO OUR FOUNDING FATHERS IS TRULY…… The love affair with the super-ellipses continues LAUGHABLE!

The only thing laughable here is you, Nick. You’re a pathetic shell of a man, barely capable of coherent thought or basic communication, and since we’re throwing around quotes:

“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”  – The Principal from Billy Madison  

I accept Nickwolf's challenge to debate
Still playing catch up

80 thoughts on “NICKWOLF RETURNS AGAIN! With special commentary by Larry Correia”

  1. A showed his ramblings to a liberal friend of mine, and she said “Will he stop being on my side.” Unlike this loser, she is articulate. But, she actually makes her living by being articulate and persuasive.

    1. “Will he stop being on my side?” Second that.

      There is (in my opinion) the odd rational argument about certain liberal policies. But this guy ain’t going to be making them. He’ll be first against the wall, come the revolution (JOKE! JOKE! Can’t you people take a JOKE?? Sheez.)

      1. No, No, No, No!
        Everyone knows that the Marketing Division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation (who are a bunch of mindless jerks) will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes! The The Encyclopedia Galactica tells us so!

  2. “My average reader could kill an entire room of angsty-socialists with a rolled up newspaper.”

    I knew there was a reason the paper was still delivered to my house…..

    1. I’m pretty sure my nine year old daughter could take out someone like Nickwolf, without even using my hammer.
      But then, I’ve told her it is not nice to pick on those who are mentally challenged.

      Oh, I know, I’ll put my autistic daughter up against Nick. That may actually give him a chance, although I think she has him outgunned mentally too.

      Poor, poor Nicky

  3. Can we put Nickwolf on a stage in DC and let him just ramble? I think it would kill Obama’s administration in under thirty seconds.

  4. I’m feeling kinda weak today, is it ok if I slip a lead pipe into my newspaper?? Seriously, what country is he from?
    He reminds me of the Tech support” guys who greet you with an undecipherable opening monologue and then tells you his name is Tom. Or Peggy.

  5. The Fake named Tea Party? You what TEA stands for? Taxed Enough Already. Not immigrant hating astroturfers who really have corporate support and interests at heart, which is how they’ve been painted.

  6. I hate to try and correct a famous, published author and all but, did you mean “The Principal from Billy Madison”?

    Otherwise, truly and epic response.

  7. I needed this today.

    Today I’ve been (simulated) blown up twice and shot a few times. I needed something to make me smile.

    Thanks Nicwolf and Larry.

  8. Dude, Larry writes this blog to promote himself as an author who writes fun books. He also writes things to entertain his readers, and anyone who wishes to read it. I agree there is so much opinion floating around on the internet that it’s hard to get a straight answer on anything these days.

    If you want a blog that reasonably and rationally debates politics, then create Nickwolf’s Political Blog of Reasonable and Rational Debate, and have at it.

    If you have fun ranting on larry’s blog, keep going. It’s fun to read. Just don’t give yourself a stroke. Nobody wants that.

      1. A stroke might improve his rants.

        There is a small danger he might become an effective socialist through such an accidental biological lobotomy.

      2. Have to agree with Nightcrawler on this. On another note, I’m reading this in the office and my jaws hurt from clamping down on hysterical bursts of laughter. This stuff is priceless. Never said I’m much of a debater, but Nickwolf totally takes the cake. (complete with plate and shrinkwrap foil)

  9. Oh man that was awesome. It’s like he’s arguing w himself on twitter. just awesomeness.

    I love his obsession w “the majority”.

    I’d say he needs to get laid but then I’m afraid he’d reproduce. I’d suggest having a drink but he might be one of those “angry drunks”.

    BTW wasn’t that the judge from the end of Big Daddy instead of Billy Madison?

  10. I’m wondering if he has ever tried to chew gum and walk before. I would really like to observe him play with one of those baby toys where you have the triangle, square, circle shaped blocks and holes to put them through. I bet he would try and shove the circle through the triangle. I could be wrong but when the Nazis were sentenced in Nuremberg, the sentence was neutering? Interesting little tibit there from the great and knowing Nickwolf. I wonder what other interesting tibits from history he can tell me about. Were the Founding Fathers really robots sent back in time? Was King George III actually a shaved ape? Was Gehghis Khan a tutu wearing ballerina? Only Nickwolf knows!

  11. Nickwolf said, “Men don’t have to shout…they kick ass!”

    Did he just prove with that copious amount of CAPS LOCK that he isn’t a man?

    Maybe not, because we all know that CAPS LOCK is cruise control for cool.

    Nickwolf if you are reading these comments, and I believe you probably are, do us all a favor and remove the CAPS LOCK key from your keyboard. It’s that key next to the “a” key. Silly me I’m sure you know where it is. Wait have you been holding down SHIFT this whole time instead of using CAPS LOCK?

    Dang, I might have just made things worse. Sorry Larry.

    Anyway, you might think about spell-checking and umm……….. I don’t know maybe RE READING YOUR POSTS, before you hit submit.

    Sorry guys my CAPS LOCK key must have gotten stuck there for a moment…………………………

    Oops looks like my “Period/Greater Than” key got stuck again.

    Maybe you’re just having the same problems I am with my keyboard. Perhaps it’s time for you to buy a new one? May I suggest a possible replacement?

    Crap, it still has a CAPS LOCK key. Oh well, guys I tried.

    1. No you fool. Leave him be.

      How much fun would he be without his CAPLOSCK. Oh wait..I mean…..CASPOLOK.. I mean..

      YOU FASCISTS!!!!!!

      Hahhaa. Nickwolf, if you’re reading: I’m thumbing my nose at you….I’ll earn awesome points if I’m included in your next rant . 😀

  12. My closest friend is extremely liberal, and that’s on a good day. We disagree on most every political issue. The difference? He can pose a real debate. I like having a friend that is such a polar political opposite because it keeps me on my toes. The one thing we can agree on? Idiots like NickWolf make for excellent targets 😛

    During one rather heated discussion we came to the topic of a second civil war. Neither of us think its a good solution but we were both pretty agitated at the time. He said the Union (Big government in this case) would win. At that point I asked him how many of the free-loving, acid tripping, hippies would take up arms and die for their beliefs. I think I won the argument.

  13. only in a truly facist/socialist regime is disagreeing with the ruling party treason… that’s what so great about america, you can completely disagree with the ruling party and all they can do about it, is sit on a red hot poker and rotate. … … … i cant help but wonder if nickwolf is on the dole? <— the dole = David Webber refrence … the dole = (in webber's Honorverse) welfare. … … … for those of you wondering where nickwolf's "can do no wrong" president is leading us, i suggest you check out David Webber's Honor Harrington Series, and remember, Peoples Republic of Haven = where we are heading…

    (sorry for any spelling erros, i'm dyslexic)

  14. I literally got giddy at the prospect of reading another one of these. I think Larry got all the commenting correct so I’ll leave that to the professional. “You’ll know when our side gets uppity”. Too true. Possibly one of the most law-abiding groups that exist, but when they decide something is worth fighting for, you might as well tuck tail and run.

  15. “Nickwolf’s though police”

    What? The FCC doesn’t have enough thought police? Nickwolf has his own law enforcement division? What’s *their* patch look like? 🙂

  16. Once read it can’t be unread.
    My mind is now…. stupider/overbored then it was before. I know want to vote for obama and nut punch fascist fake teabag weasels for debate purposes. ONLY! if their not of the foundling fathers ILK! and thats not debatable!!!
    Being racist nape licking incognents that wax there legs makes freedom to be treasonous false by definition.
    bush was palin in reverse drag and i no that because i can do quadratic equations with one hemispehere tied behind my back! so learn to read with comprehansion. or stop your hating.

    1. honestly, the only thing i have against obama is he’s a moron… and i’ll tell you when i first figured out he was a moron… it was before the democratic primaries, i had never heard of or seen obama before, i was driving to work and i heard a radio add for him, in which he said “i’ll create a brand new energy industry and half a million jobs to support it” i blinked… and said to myself, “this guy’s a fcking moron.” i mean you dont just pull new industries out of your ass… when the wright brothers flew at kitty hawk, that was a new industry, when henry ford thre the model t on an assembly line and made a cheep affordable car, that was a new industry, when steve jobs and bill gates figured out how to make cheep home pc’s, that was a brand new industry…

      but according to nickwolf, i’m just a racist obama hater, never mind my opinion was formed of him by radio ads alone and i didnt know he was black until after he got the dem nomination… and his(nickwolfs) obsession with majority and minority could get me to launch into a rant about social engineering using the terms and lables of “majority” and “minority”

      i’ll say somthing positive about obama so nickwolf doesnt threaten my grandma like he has his own… at least obama’s reformed jimmy carter’s reputation…

      wait, was that supposed to be nice?

    2. the sad thing there is that he obviously was so proud of his words that rather than go through the process of saying the same thing in different words he just cut and pasted.
      Nickwolf- don’t go changing, man. You… just keep doing your thing.

  17. i’ve got to disagree with you on this one larry: “Dude, George Washington would have run Nancy Pelosi through with his sword.” we probably would have gotten a very loud shout of “WITCH!!!” before the sword running through bits… cuz you know( i know you know larry, but i’m not sure about nickwolf there), back then, women didn’t really have much in the way of rights… so pelosi acting all educated and all would have gotten a nice “WITCH!!!” followed by a sword to t he gut or a burning of the stake…

    1. Sorry, no way. George Washington was a gentleman. He would not have run her through with his sword.

      Now, I’m sure he would have wanted too… if seeing the state of the US these days and the tattered remnants of the Constitution he swore to preserve, protect, and defend didn’t make him eat his own pistol before he ever met her.

      1. That’s assuming that George Washington is brought forth into the future, i was going on if pelosi went back in time… women+politics/1700s = witch… … … (it’s mathmatical[assuming i’ve got my date range right, i might not, its been a few years since i took american history], nickwolf can’t even discredit that… oh wait…)

        honestly, i’m still amazed at how easily politicitians (dyslexic, sorry) these days wipe their collective asses ith the consititution… and i dont know why… it’s a perfectly good document, sure it needs some updateing (the founding fathers could not have anticipated the internet, and the constitution needs some bits to cover the web IMO) but it’s a perfectly sound document… why must politicians ignore it when it suits their whims???

  18. I know this is wrong of me…but suddenly I want a “TEA BUM” t-shirt.

    Printed in all caps and everything, just like Nickwolf wrote it.

    Thanks for sharing, Larry. I needed a laugh tonight. Although it is a bit creepy that you’ve collected your very own Internet stalker…

  19. I think reading Nickwolf’s rant cost me my remaining Sanity points. It’s like… looking at the face of Culuthu…

    Oh no, Nickwolf is one of the Great Old Ones…

      1. I just had a chat with my buddy Nyarlathotep. He said that Nickwolf’s argument makes perfect sense.
        It’s just the old “heads I win, tails you loose” political argument filtered through a haze of too much meth and Rage Against the Machine.

        And now my buddy ‘Nyarly’ says he going to take me to listen to some flute music at an underground club! Yay, I love Jethro Tull!

  20. I’m glad he’s being smart enough for all of us.

    I’m guessing he’s one of the geniuses (genii?) from Democratic Underground. I recognize the form.

  21. Well, crapadoodle. Now I’m going to have to buy Larry’s books. If he’s this funny shredding a leftist asshat, his fiction has to be excellent.

    Oh, my aching budget, but I can no longer resist.

    1. Oh, I dunno — I think almost anyone rational and a bit snarky could have shot this guy down in flames. But, notwithstanding that, Larry’s really good. (Psst, Larry! I bought MHV at Webscriptions this morning, so your next royalty statement will be a few cents bigger…)

  22. It’s a carefully contrived, superbly executed conspiracy masterminded by Thomas Sowell to make progressives look like rabid bats.

    There is no Nickwolf.

    He’s a plant, an on-screen presence, from the neocon propaganda and hate mongering machine (patent pending).

    He’s paid directly from the untraceable coffers of the illumanaughty. His posts are derived from a 50 page printout of HuffPo fed to a Blendtec in order to inject a random mix of incoherence and self-contradiction.

    Blendtec dude:
    “ooooh, moonbat dust. Don’t breath this.”

  23. I think I know why nickwolf is such an Obama devotee. He’s hoping with Obamacare he can afford his meds and not go off them as often.
    You think they’d have the office computer at the institution password protected.

    Who do you think he really is? Chris Matthews? Keith Olberman? Jeanine Garofolo?

  24. “So, in 2010 when Obama’s side gets trounced, will you finally shut the **** up?”

    Of course he won’t, because as we all know, an election is only valid if a Democrat wins it. If it’s a Republican or Independent, then the election was rigged, and it needs recounting until the Democrat wins.

  25. Hey Larry,

    Figure you could post approximately where this dude is, by IP? I don’t need an exact location, even nailing it down to the specific state would confirm the suspicion that I know him..

  26. That was the funniest thing I have read in many days, and that’s before the commentary!

    Nickwolf is an artist and this is his greatest composition yet.

    Title: Rhapsody in Stupid.

  27. I propose we take Mr. Nickwolf and buy him a H&K (an airsoft replica lest he hurt himself, of course) and turn him loose on the Tutonic Marketing Department.

    *That* would be a fanboy’s fanboy.

  28. Wow… reading all that made my head ache. Bonus points for the Billy Madison quote, though. I love that line and it was so very relevant.

  29. Another thought:
    If going against the decisions is “TREASON!!11”, then did Nickwolf uncritically support the Patriot Act, the Iraq war, and other policies of the Bush Administration?

    1. that’s actually an excellent question (which I am sure we’ll never see answered). Let me take a shot at it (ahem):

      “BUSH DIDNT NOT WIN THE ELECTON HE STOLD IT!!111!… THE PATROT ACT AND THE IRAG WAR WERE COVERUPS DE SIGNED TO TRY AND KEEP THE CHOSEN ONE FROM OFICE!!!……….. YOUR LIES WILL BE FOUND OUT FOR THE TREASNOS. DOG RAPING, ANTI AMERICAN, GRABAGE THAT THEY ARE!11!” and then something about George Washington being an advocate of bigger government… What do you think- am I warm? Somewhere in the neighborhood? The NickWolf School of Logical & Thoughtful Debate for Those Who Want To Debate Logically worked for me!

  30. Oh…Oh my. I just finished (barely, had to wrap duct tape around my skull near the end to keep it from bursting apart from sheer rage at Nick’s idiocy) reading all of this vomitous mix of misinformation, disinformation and pure glorious stupidity. The only thing that kept my sanity in place from exposure to this horrific display was your commentary. I thank you sir! All that being said my XO came over just a moment ago to see what was making me giggle like a 15 yr old schoolgirl. One can only hope that Monsieur Un Loup will display his stunning wit for all of us again.

  31. There is so much win here that I just puked a little bit 😎
    It’s a good thing we can kill those guys with a rolled up newspaper, because I don’t know if I can still shoot straight while laughing so hard in derision.

    The coming die-off will just be amazing.

  32. Larry, I have a question regarding part of your post.

    ” My average reader could kill an entire room of angsty-socialists with a rolled up newspaper”

    Would you please tell me the amount of time I have in which to do this? I need to find out if I am average, above average, or below average.

    ( This was a joke)

  33. I read through all of the Nickwolf rants and I’m not convinced that someone didn’t wire up a capuchin monkey with redbull and LSD and put it in front of the keyboard.

    ” My average reader could kill an entire room of angsty-socialists with a rolled up newspaper”

    I could do it with one phrase: “Did it ever occur to you people that you might actually be wrong?”

    I could just sit back and watch them all die as their brains lock up and their heads go boom when they try to contemplate the thought.

  34. I’m with Collin on this, man. Please make this guy into MHI Legion, as a retarded vampire who gets beat by a 2 year old muskrat or something like that.

    And yes I know I probably spelled muskrat wrong. I hope not, at least.

  35. Just thinking that the Progressive movement [which can be said to have peaked with the passage of the 17th amendment, which allows for direct election of Senators, scuttling our republic & leading inevitably to the gradual downfall of the USA] was only about 125 years after the revolution, not two hundred years. S’ok, tho’ as the time-traveling tea-bagger probably wouldn’t care about such details, what with the public dunkings & all… 😀

    Love your stuff! Haven’t laughed so much in… well, at least a few days! Seems like longer tho’. Like I said [wrote], good stuff!

  36. So, it’s been 4 years since these were written. I wonder how Nickwolf is doing now that even the liberals (and the Lamestream media) can see that everything we (the Tea Party) warn about was and is absolute fact.

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