On a recent comment here on MHN, somebody said that I should have a Wikipedia entry. I thought to myself, naw, I’m not that famous of an author yet. Wikipedia is for like, really important type stuff, like a complete listing of every episode of the A-Team, or the history of the Post-It.
But then I got to looking, and pretty much every other author I know is on there already. It seems like most of the Baen people are on there. The guys that I went on book tour with have entries. So now I feel left out while the cool kids are having all the fun.
So are any of you guys Wikipedia writers?
I guess that I’m not supposed to create my own, because I would be obviously biased. For example, this was my first draft attempt at an entry:
Larry Correia is the greatest writer of his generation. He keeps all his many awards in the same room as his giant Scrooge McDuck style pile of money. He won the Noble Prize for literature three times in one year. Larry Correia is tough but fair. Larry Correia can bench press seven times his body weight (citation needed). Women love Larry Correia, and men want to be Larry Correia. In addition to punching out former president Jimmy Carter during a no-holds barred cage match, Larry Correia invented cold fusion, salami, and vinyl siding. Larry Correia founded the country of Suriname. Larry Correia was played by James Gandolfini in the movie SUDDEN VIOLENCE: THE LARRY CORREIA STORY.
Okay, so maybe a teensy bit of bias might creep in. So, anybody want to volunteer? I can give any factoids you need, (actual factoids, like the thing about Jimmy Carter. So there I was, twenty seconds into the first round, BAM! Have fun digesting those teeth, old man!)
EDIT: Somebody actually posted the following. I figured I better save it here for posterity before Wikipedia takes it down for lack of “citations”.
LARRY CORREIA is an international man of mystery. This unique human is infact the illegitimate son of “Odin” who, when offered a place at his fathers side in Valhalla he declined as he would consider it slumming, Larry then kicked Odin in the testicles for such an insult Clearly, one could see that this is no mere mortal man, for example his many exploits include the following.
1. He tore down the Berlin Wall.
2. He once used a live Jaguar as a condom and then visited all the woman in a small Guatemalan village. It forever became known as ” La noche de los gatos sodomizar ” or ” Night of the sodomizing cat “
3. Larry is known to demands the sacrifice of a 1st born male once every 10 years in a small village located outside of Glasgow Ireland. The last time he did not receive his sacrifice was in 1845 and his wrath lasted to 1852. History recalls these years as ” The Great Potato Famine “
4. Russel Crowe spent a week with Larry in an ill advised attempt to learn the secret ways of combat for his film ” Gladiator ” Larry’s retribution for Russel’s impudence was a daily regiment of beatings, torture, and verbally berated him to the point that Russel ran off and screwed Meg Ryan as a means to regain his lost manhood. Larry still holds his manhood in a manson jar under his kitchen sink.
5. Former President Bush took the term ” Shock and Awe ” from when Larry gave him a small demonstration of what he would do in Iraq if given full unilateral freedom. This demonstration involved 3 hookers, a jar of mayonnaise, a dead pig, and a toilet scrubber.
6. In 2007 Larry wrote of his life story of adventure, love, and insanity…it was later published under the title of ” Monster Hunter International “
Located in Utah, Larry now spends his time as a writer and accountant, as well a part time firearm instructor. His latest novels are the following
Monster Hunter International (available now), Monster Hunter Vendetta (available September 28th), Monster Hunter Alpha (2011), and The Grimnoir Chronicles: Hard Magic (2011) all of which are available from Baen Books.
Thank you, anonymous wiki author, but I’m afraid that this article is simply riddled with errors. Monster Hunter Alpha will be out in 2010 not 2011 as stated. EDIT 2: Crap. I read that MHA as MHV. I take back what I said. That article is 100% accurate. EDIT 3: Except I don’t think that Glasgow is in Ireland…
EDIT 4: Okay, looks like there is an actual realistic one posted on Wikipedia now that isn’t flagged to be deleted. (because obvoiusly, if I made a best seller list, then that is way more important than founding Suriname). I think we should just call this one good.
EDIT 5: Mrs. Correia was not at all pleased when she found out about ” La noche de los gatos sodomizar”. Thanks a lot, guys.
EDIT 6: Looks like somebody did start a TV Tropes Wiki for MHI. Myers and Franks are “Those two guys” and “My Orcs are different”. Sweet. 🙂