Plowshare Returns!

Oliver “Plowshare” Forge, my favorite lefty FDR-fanclub blogger, has yet again posted about me!

I eagerly await these. If you will recall, Plow hates me because I’m Mormon. He hates me because of my political opinions. He hates me because I’m friends with MadOgre. He hates me because I’ve had more success in life than he has. He hates me for a bunch of things that only exist in his head. He once hated me for being pro-military though I hadn’t been in the military right after he said that he meant no offense to people who tried to join but were medically unsuitable (whoops), He hates me because apparently the most powerful voices in the Neo-Conservative world are Dick Cheney, Glenn Beck, Ted Nugent, and Me. (which I’m still trying to figure out, because Plow’s definition of Neo-Con apparently changes everytime he forgets to take his meds).

However, he does always link to me in his tirades, so WordPress usually gives me a heads up. I’m very thankful for this software feature, because utterly dismantling Plow’s posts has provided me minutes of enjoyment. Plus my regular readers seem to like it when I club him like a baby seal.

Now normally Plow just posts some massive, spittle flecked, vein popping out of his forehead tirade about something that is hard to follow for a couple hundred words, then with some historical thing from the 1940s that he cut and pasted from Wikipedia about the Bonus Army or something, but usually there is some nugget of a point in there.

Not this time. Which makes me a little sad, because it is hard to Fisk somebody when they don’t actually have anything to say.

Apparently today’s adventure began with Plow checking MadOgre. His doctors have warned him not to check MadOgre, because it elevates Plow’s blood pressure, and that causes the voices in his head to become louder, but Plow just can’t help himself. So he quotes something from George that makes perfect sense, but then Plow can’t seem to come out of his drug addled haze (thanks medical MJ!) long enough to say why he disagrees with George, so Plow lists off the fact that George went to some good schools and obtained a decent education… Okay… You showed him, Plow.

Then out of the blue, Plow had this to say about me.
Hi Larry (He’s gay, you know) Larry is.
By that I mean, of course, “festive”.

You know that you’ve absolutely demolished somebody when you’ve picked their posts apart line by line, and exposed them as an utter and complete fool on demand for years, and all they can come back with is “Well… You’re GAY!”

I’m surprised he didn’t call my Mom fat while he was at it, or that I throw like a girl.

Plow, I’m astounded by your keen debating skills.  Sadly, I’m not homosexual. (remember, you already hate me for being a right-wing fundamentalist Christian/Mormon, I hate to remind you of this, but to be fair to you, chronic paint-huffing will damage your long-term memory).  I like girls. If you don’t, that’s totally cool. Whatever floats your boat.

And even if I was gay, I probably wouldn’t be the flamboyant festive type. I even have a hard time wearing colorful shirts.
And, To you neo-con twinks;
Thanks and thanks again.
You are the cheapest entertainment in town.

No… Thank you, Plow. You stand as an icon of all that makes the left so very proud.  You are fervent in your beliefs that the .gov needs to rob and destroy the productive to give to the stupid, yet you are unable to provide a logical argument as to why the bailouts are good or will work.

Tonight, while you are smoking your hooka, I want you to try and string together a few coherant thoughts about where my political philosophy is wrong (other than: U R teh Gay! ), arrange these thoughts into semi-complete sentences, and then mash them haphazardly onto your keyboard.  I eagerly await your response.  See, us right wingers have no problem explaining why we disagree with something.

Oh, and in the spirit of Plowshare, I too will close with a historial 1930’s themed quote concerning my issues with Plow’s New Deal lovefest:

During the worst of the depression many of the farmers had to deny their families butter, eggs, meat, etc. and sell it to pay their taxes and then had to stand by and see the dead-beats carry it home to their familes by the arm load, and they knew their tax money was helping pay it… The crookedness, shelfishness [sic], greed and graft of the crooked politicians is making one gigantic racket out of the new deal and it is making this a nation of dead-beats and beggars and if it continues the people who will work will soon be nothing but slaves for the pampered poverty rats.

-Anonymous woman in Columbus, Indiana, letter of December 14, 1937 to Eleanor Roosevelt. The Great Depression, An Eyewitness History by David F. Burg.

Plowshare, the final chapter
Montana takes a stand for state's rights, now Utah and Texas may follow

15 thoughts on “Plowshare Returns!”

  1. I laughed so hard, I nearly choked on my cookie.

    Good job Mr. Corriea. Your blog & Lawdog’s are the only ones I check up on daily.

  2. Sigh. Why are the champions of “tolerance” always the first to point fingers and scream “FAGGOT!?”

  3. Yeah, gay. That’s the first thing I thought when I met you. Is the real reason you left FBMG because those red shirts are way too colorful?

  4. He responded, but I’m not really sure what he actually said.

    Great, other people get a cool nemesis, and I get someone with the mental skills of a warm gummy bear. That just isn’t fair.

  5. Hey if you are available, I’d like to take advantage of your “gayness” and learn which accessories I should get for my Pink M-4 Carbine.

  6. Heh. Larry iz teh gay!!!!!1

    I wish I’d been “gay” enough to have the family you’re making, honestly. I think LDS is kinda fruity- like most religions- but I’ve really respected the family life of the Mormons I’ve met.


  7. John, your intelligent reply on Plow’s board didn’t do a whole lot of good. Good effort though.

    He says that I don’t explain my beliefs, which is ironic, coming from him. Especially since I’ve posted why I believe what I do with a lot of depth. Then he says that he hasn’t read me in months, but then proceeds to quote me EXACTLY. 🙂

    I responded to him again over there, be he didn’t feel the need to approve that post.

  8. Okay, so I’m the Incorrigible Oracle now? Nice. I could create a whole new Blog now – just to use that title. Fun. Dope Smokers are fun.
    So he quotes me… blathers momentarily about nothing… then just tells me to “shut up”.
    Maybe I didn’t see it… but where is the counter arguement? Where is that he thinks I’m wrong? What point does he disagree with?
    See here, Boys and Girls… That is your brain on Drugs.
    And he called Larry “Gay”? Really? That’s a horrible thought… because Larry – to use Eugene-Speak – would be the scariest faggot ever. At least on Par with the Gay Detective from Boondock Saints… that scary. And if that’s the case – why would he want to try to anger Larry like that?
    I just don’t get him.

  9. Plowshare Forge has the hots for Larry. It seems so obvious with the benefit of hindsight. Oh and his super-butch pseudonym.

  10. I should change my internet name to Biff Strongarm, or Slab Rockfist, or maybe Rick Drywall…

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