Monster Hunter Nation

Updates, Christmas Noun tomorrow

Today was supposed to be the Christmas Noun post, but I actually had fun this weekend instead of finishing it. 🙂

Also, Jack asked me to mention tat we are currently offering $10 off shirts in the MHI Swag shop to make room for new swag in 2017! Offer valid while supplies last. https://mhiswag.myshopify.com/

Christmas Noun 9 will go up tomorrow morning.

After that I am going to mostly be offline until New Years.

The rough draft for Monster Hunter Siege is almost done. It will be getting edited in January.

Then I’ll be working on the 3rd Memoirs book and compiling the collection of my short fiction for Baen. After that is House of Assassins.

EDIT: Just saw that it was posted, I recorded an interview with the Baen Podcast last week. http://www.baen.com/podcast

Straight Out of Tombstone

I am in this anthology of “weird west” stories, and it is a Monster Hunter story. Not only is it an MHI story, but it is chronologically the first MHI story. I finally got to write about Bubba Shackleford and the original Professional Monster Killers.

str8outtatombstone_full

 

It is available for pre order now, and has got a great line up.

Forward                                                         David Boop
Bubba Shackleford’s Professional Monster Killers                Larry Correia
Trouble in an Hourglass                                         Jody Lynn Nye
The Buffalo Hunters                                             Sam Knight
The Sixth World                                                 Robert E. Vardeman
Easy Money                                                      Phil Foglio
The Wicked Wild                                                 Nicole Kurtz
Chance Corrigan and the Lord of the Underworld                  Michael A. Stackpole
The Greatest Guns in the Galaxy                                 Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Ken Scholes
Dance of Bones                                                  Maurice Broaddus
Dry Gulch Dragon                                                Sarah A. Hoyt
The Treefold Problem                                            Alan Dean Foster
Fountains of Blood                                              David Lee Summers
High Midnight                                                   Kevin J. Anderson
Coyote                                                          Naomi Brett Rourke
The Key                                                         Peter J. Wacks
Fistful of Warlocks                                             Jim Butcher

Also, Jack asked me to mention tat we are currently offering $10 off shirts in the MHI Swag shop to make room for new swag in 2017! Offer valid while supplies last. https://mhiswag.myshopify.com/

Run Forrest Run!

Larry here, I’ve been swamped trying to get the 1st draft of Monster Hunter Siege done by Christmas (so I can have the week off!), so there hasn’t been much blogging. Luckily, the CorrieaTech marketing daimyo has put together some best of posts. We were recently reminded of Forest, who provided us with hours of entertainment. Enjoy.  

##

Hey all, Jack Wylder here. I was searching the site for an old expression (“Justify the Moon Ferrets!”) and couldn’t find it. Fortunately, Heather and Jesse over at the MHI Fan page on Facebook dug it out of mothballs for me. So today I’m putting on my archivist hat to save this for future generations. In order to keep this “short” (it’s not) ok “shorter” I’ve left out most of the comments that didn’t have anything to do with Larry, even though they were having great fun before Larry even showed up. You can read the full thing here:
Full Transcript: https://www.facebook.com/brad.torgersen/posts/997639086928991?comment_id=997782793581287
As per usual, Larry’s words will be in BOLD, his opponent’s will be italicized. Enjoy!

+ + + + +
    Brad Torgerson Nov 5th, 2014

Yeah, that whole #WarOnWomen thing really scored for the Democrats last night, didn’t it? (sigh) I used to vote Dem. Stuff like #WarOnWomen is why I stay away now. It’s paltry, dishonest, does not reflect reality, and treats women like they are not only eternally adolescent, but a monoculture of same-minded, same-thinking, Stepford-like robots. Last night some very interesting REAL WOMEN won office, and they did it playing for the “wrong” team. Let’s please retire #WarOnWomen to the Museum of Terrible Campaign Strategy Ideas.
(Forrest chimes in and they casually bat him around like a tether ball for a while. He continues to ignore facts, reason, and logic until…)

(THEY SUMMON THE CORREIAKEN!!)
    Larry Correia Nov 5th, 2014 12:01am

You rang?
Brad, I apologize in advance that I’m about to use bad words on your page, but I simply don’t have the time, nor the patience to deal with this fucking troglodyte imbecile in an amicable fashion.

Instead I’m going to mock him, berate him, insult him and his fundamental philosophy, maybe call him some more names, rejoice in my giant majority, maybe add a few more insults, then go to bed, in my giant house in the mountains with my hot athletic wife. I won’t bother to wait for Forest’s response, because it will consist of some poorly thought out sound bytes regurgitated from Mother Jones and a series of links, and I’d rather suck start a 12 gauge than listen to one more fucking doofus tonight.

First off, why won’t anybody answer his question about the gender gap?

Well, Forest, that would be because it is a stupid fucking question.

You’re like that crazy hobo on the subway demanding everyone justify the moon ferrets. But moon ferrets aren’t real, so why waste a bunch of time explaining that to a stinky hobo. But I’ll try, because I’m a retired accountant, and when people like you try to use stats it is like watching a monkey humping a football. So amusing, but kind of sad.

If you mean the pay gap that exists between women, anybody with an ounce of statistical sense knows that it is insignificant when it comes to actual equivalent jobs with equivalent requirements. Once you factor in that women are statistically more likely to take time away from their careers for child rearing and factor that in, the pay difference is statistically insignificant. Unless you work in the Obama White House, because fuck you is why.

Men also tend to work more in dangerous or physically demanding jobs by choice, which also pay better. Nobody forces them to go into those fields. Men also get more STEM degrees and women get more LAS degrees. STEM pays better. Nobody is forcing these men to do math, but men and women are different. If you don’t understand why my accounting degree is more valuable that your gender studies degree, you don’t understand basic econ 101 and supply and demand. So yes, I would like fries with that.

If you mean the gender gap in voting between the parties, just about every psychological study ever conducted by somebody not huffing paint understands that women tend to make decisions more emotionally and men tend to make them more logically. I see you reaching for you Sexist Card, but I said tend. This is not always the case, it is simply a trend. If you don’t like it or find that sexist, you can fuck off and die. Men and women are different. Most of us happen to like that. Some men think more emotionally (like pajama boy metrosexual hipster douchebags for example), and some women think more logically (like hot republican warrior babes), but a trend is a trend.

Now, the DNC being a bunch of sleazy shitwads, do manage to have some people working there who are excellent at stats and marketing. I’m assuming they hire evil republican capitalists for these positions because they show some basic competence. Regardless, these clever people understand the whole emotional reaction thing, and when your platform is mostly bullshit, they aim their marketing at a bunch of heart string tugging, sob story, feel good but do nothing, nonsense that appeals to the big hearted and mushy headed voter. Why yes, I don’t want old people to starve and free health care for everyone! Yay!

As for what have conservatives done for women?

Built America.

Deal with it, motherfucker.

You are pathetic at debating. At some point in time you discovered that if you just post enough bullshit, non-stop, you will win by attrition because most people simply do not give a fuck enough to waste their time debating what is basically a fleshy spambot. You’re so bad at this that you even annoy the shit out of the people you might have convinced. If you had an iota of likability, you might have swayed somebody, but you’re so incredibly shitty at this that even the moderates would rather hang out with Harry Reid, and they’re pretty sure he’s a pedophile.
You do not realize that arguing on the internet is a spectator sport. Nobody ever sways the decided, you fool! The goal is to convince the undecided. And on that count, Amy the Sign Language Gorilla makes a better spokesman than you.

You are basically a Speak and Spell, and instead of when pulling the string you get “THE COW GOES MOO” you get “LINK TO HUFFPO” or “WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION”. Only the Speak and Spell has a use. Children need to learn which animal says moo versus which one barks. You on the other hand, are completely fucking useless, and when it comes to entertainment, my money is on Fisher Price.

When you ask a question, and people answer it, a smart person would then use logic to pick that post apart for the edification of the onlookers and observers. But not you, you just pretend the question wasn’t answered, and keep asking it over and over again. That is the Damien Walter method of arguing, and usually occurs right before somebody with half a brain clubs you like a helpless baby seal.

Don’t feel bad. Compared to Damien, I’m letting you off easy.

I know these things. I’ve seen your kind, and know your methods, which is why rather than debate you, I simply insult you. Then everyone laughs at you. I’m amused. They are amused. We go about our fulfilling lives. You go home, yell at your five cats, then masturbate furiously into your shame pillow while watching episodes of Girls on HBO, before passing out in a puddle of Thunderbird.

Which is why I’m awesome, popular, and rich, and you are a loser with 2 followers. Because you suck, and everyone hates you.

So, at the end of the day, please continue with your link storms, and your tired, boring, hashed out Salon bullshit about the war on women. One of the reason the republicans now have 250 seats in congress is because morons like you have helped to annoy the living shit out of the average American to the point that if a man wearing a HOPE/CHANGE shirt was to step into the intersection in front of their car, they would literally mash the accelerator to the floor, just in the hopes that it was you.
Our many new republican senators thank you.

Now fuck off.

(Forrest)
“Yes or no, was trying misogynistic?”

It would have seem less so, if the proponents were not the same ones who wished to ban abortion entirely.

(Larry)
And before Forest goes on Checklist and says “you sound angry” or you “typed a lot”, I wrote that during the load screens between a couple games of World of Tanks.

I’m awesome at that too..

(Forrest)
” fucking troglodyte imbecile”

(Forrest)
“As for what have conservatives done for women? Built America.”
I guess these would be some of the persons you are referring to?

(Larry)
That’s because you’re arguing with a semi-sentient spambot, Jared.

Here, let me help you. When I said Built America, and he posted a picture of some black guys, that’s when you should have said, “is that pic from when democrats owned slaves or after the republicans freed them?”

But seriously, Forest is too dimwitted for you to bother. You’re just pulling the cord on a speak and spell.

(Forrest)
It’s called the Socratic Method, dude.

(Larry)
And the Correia method is to tell you to eat a bag of dicks.

The Forrest method is THE COW GOES MOO.

(Forrest)
‘is that pic from when democrats owned slaves or after the republicans freed them?”

Actually, it’s a picture from the Hoover Dam. Nothing to do with slavery.

(Larry)
It has nothing to do with slavery because republicans wouldn’t let you guys own them anymore.

(Forrest)
” And the Correia method is to tell you to eat a bag of dicks.”

You should really write that down. Preserve your wisdom for future generations.

(Larry)
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi…
HAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA BWAHAAAAAAAAA snort.
You’d have to have some glory for it to be fleeting, dipshit.
(yeah, familiar with the quote, since I’ve made buckets of money off of a book with that in it)

(Forrest)
“Words – do you grok their meaning?”

The Way that can be spoken is not the true Way.

(Larry)
Holy shit. That’s some Kung Fu Panda level stuff right there.

(Forrest)
Lao Tzu thought of it before Kung Fu Panda.

(Larry)
Lao Tzu would nut kick you for invoking his name

(Forrest)
He was a peaceful old man who never kicked anyone, so far as has been recorded.

(Larry)
For you, he’d make an exception.

(Jennifer ‘Management’ Douglas Roemershauser)
Forrest, you may be dumb as a bag of hammers on everything else, but you were smart enough to get your clueless pinko commie liberal ass out of Harlingen, Texas. I am thrilled beyond belief that you found a tribe of equally clueless PNW libtards to embrace you and your HuffPo quotes and Daily Kos talking points. So on behalf of the rest of Texas, thank you for getting the hell out. Next time, help Keep Texas Beautiful, and take about 10,000 more of your liberal buddies with you.

(Larry)
Oh shit, Jenn, you guys let this doofus into Texas? Was that like an equal opportunity thing? I bet it was Ann Richards fault, and she was all like “you know, Texas sure could use more fat, stupid, liberals with too many cats. Let’s get on that.”

(Forrest)
“I am thrilled beyond belief that you found a tribe of equally clueless PNW libtards to embrace you and your HuffPo quotes and Daily Kos talking points.”

Actually, the subject under discussion was the gender gap, quantified by the Pew Poll. Have you nothing of substance to say about it?

(Larry)
Bitch please. That ship done sailed.

Now we’re beating you like a rented mule.

Oh, and Jennifer Douglas Roemershauser is a woman, a successful professional in what is traditionally a man’s industry, so you should like totally lecture here about the gender gap!

(Forrest)
“Bitch please. That ship done sailed.”

Remind me, what was your explanation for the gender gap?

(Larry)
I explained it. Scroll up. Big post. Starts out calling you a fucking imbecile, explains the gender gap, then calls you some more names. Pretty fun actually.

(Forrest)
I kind of lost interest after the “imbecile” part. Why don’t you summarize it.

(Larry)
Oh, and by the way, you might be really stupid, I mean shockingly, glaringly dumb as shit, like sleep in a helmet, boy ain’t too bright, hide the scissors dumb, but this thread didn’t start with the gender gap… It started with Brad Torgersen talking about the war on women and you hijacked it with your bullshit and proceeded to bore Brad so badly that he fell asleep and hit his head on his desk.
Concerned for Brad’s well being and safety, that’s when I joined in and relentlessly mocked you for my reader’s amusement.

(Forrest)
So there really is no connection between them?

(Larry)
” kind of lost interest after the “imbecile” part. Why don’t you summarize it.” — Well, obviously. You’re a democrat so I’d expect you to lack cognitive powers and focus.

But you’re super good at cut and paste, so go to the middle part. It is right after the part where I explain how to us retired accountants watching people like you trying to use stats is like watching a monkey humping a football.
(Larry)
What a train wreck. I’m ashamed of you guys. All of these posts and nobody thought to say “run Forest run!” to try and warn him that I was coming? Y’all are slipping.
(Larry)
Why yes, Forrest. I did. Put down your bag of Cheetos, and scroll up on your Obamaphone, you lazy motherfucker. I’m tired of handing everything to you losers.

(Forrest)
So the reason for the gender gap is what?

(Larry)
Again with this shit? “So the reason for the gender gap is what?” Seriously, Jared, I think you broke the Speak and Spell. Try hitting it against the floor or something.

(Jenn)
Any rational thinking woman who stands on her own two feet in whatever path she has taken in life – career or stay at home mom – is a woman who refuses to play the victim card. And THAT, my pinko friend, is what the Dems cannot fathom. A woman who has no desire to be a victim, or claim to be a victim or play the victim card when life hands them lemons based on their own shitty choices?? ZOMG! She must be an idiot! Brainwashed by her husband! Subservient in every way! *snort* Yeah. RIGHT.

Even at the lowest points in my life, I pulled myself up by my own bootstraps. There’s no War on THIS Woman, that’s for damn sure.

(Forrest)
“Any rational thinking woman who stands on her own two feet in whatever path she has taken in life – career or stay at home mom – is a woman who refuses to play the victim card”

So the majority of American women, because they vote Democratic, must be irrational wimps who whine and play the victim card? That is your explanation? It does sound a bit insulting.

(Forrest)
“I think by abrogating your responsibility to read the answers given you you might just lose the right to keep asking why no one has answered you.”

Give me a break. I am being buried in insults and kibitzing. What was it YOU wanted to say?

(Larry)
Give you a break? Fuck off and die! 😀 This is awesome!
(Larry)
Explain the Gender Gap!

SCROLL UP, FOREST, SCROLL!

Are your fingers too fat to push the arrow keys? Try mashing your face against the keyboard. Maybe ask one of your cat-brides to help!

(Forrest)
“Larry gave you one”

The only answer I recall is that American women prefer to vote Democratic because they are gutless wimps. You have a different one?

(Larry)
You are being buried in insults because that’s all you deserve.
(Larry)
Gutless wimps. Holy shit you are stupid!

I’ve got to get Nick Searcy in here. He’d love this thread.
(Larry)
Forest: “Too… fat…. to scroll.. up… gasp… pant…. wheeze.”
(Larry)
Jonna, I am so very sorry that you have to live near this doofus. Does the city have to put nerf on every corner? Did they have to install automatic livestock hoists so he could get up and down curbs?

(Nick Searcy)
Has anyone advanced the Unified Ass-Kissing Human Democrat Centipede Theory as a way of explaining the gender gap yet?

(Larry)
Chesterton would give up his peaceful ways, put a bar of soap into a pillow case, and beat Forest with it like that scene in Full Metal Jacket… Right after Lao Tzu nut kicks him. Forest is just that punchable. Ghandi would punch him in the stomach while Martin Luther King held Forest in a headlock!
(Larry)
Nick Searcy holy shit man, you need to scroll back up this page. Find the giant post I wrote. This guy Forest is one of the finest examples of the HDC I’ve ever seen in the wild.

(Forrest)
Scroll up? Most of those guys are blocked. I remember Brad said that he didn’t have to explain the gender gap because it is unimportant. Some woman said Republicans respect her as an adult who doesn’t care about gender issues, that was her explanation for why women vote Democratic. Someone else explained that it was because the Democrats keep insulting women. Jared said the reason was the propaganda “war on women”; he refuses to explain why this propaganda is so more effective than the rest. Someone else said that American women are irrational, gutless wimps who like to play the vicitm and that is why they vote for Democrats. Was there something else?

(Larry)
Shhh… It is too quiet. It has been nearly 3 minutes since Forest posted demanding that somebody explain the gender gap.

(Forrest)
So far as I can tell, no one here has an clue.

(Larry)
Wow. Forest’s longest post yet! And all of it to say that he’s too fucking stupid to find the biggest post in this thread! 😀
Hint, it is the first one I posted. Ctrl F is your friend.
(Larry)
Hell, come to think of it Ctrl F is probably his only friend.

(Forrest)
“I was concerned that Forrest had gone away.”
I got all night.

(Nick Searcy)
I think Forest has recognized himself in Larry’s incredible dissection of him and is doing some thumbsucking.

(Larry)
Of course he has all night. Lot of down time at the glory hole.

(Forrest)
“fucking stupid to find the biggest post in this thread!”

Yeah, the one where he said that American women are irrational, gutless wimps? Don’t think I need to re-read that.

(Nick Searcy)
No, the one where he correctly identified you as a fucking imbecile.

(Forrest)
Are you all agreed that the explanation for the gender gap is that American women are irrational gutless wimps?

(Forrest)
“a fucking imbecile.”

Birds of a feather flock together.

(Nick Searcy)
Segments in the Human Democrat Centipede share a common interest in the ass in front of them. It’s How Forrest survives.

(Forrest)
“that’s why he keeps running away from facts and logic and stuff.”

So far as I can tell, I am the only one here who care about facts and logic and stuff, though the rest of you seem to be very strong on persiflage.

(Larry)
WRONG POST DUMB FUCK. Holy shit. You don’t take instruction well.

Since i never called any women gutless wimps, I’m assuming you’re still stuck on stupid. Here. Let me help you find my explanation of the gender gap.

1. Pull your Obamaphone out of your ass crack where you keep it warm and safe.
2. Open your America Online browser.
3. No. Not your porn window.
4. No, that porn window too.
5. Fuck, Forest, how many porn aps do you have?
6. OKay, good. Now go to Facebook.
7. Quit looking at naked Lena Dunham photos and try to fucking concentrate for a minute.
8. Good.
9. Forest! Get your hand out of your sweat pants! Damn it!
10. Now I want you to hold down the Control key and push the F key.
11. Control… Sheesh. It says CTRL… It is a rectangle…
12. Finally. Okay, now in the little window type in my name. Larry Correia.
13. What the fuck is Lrrry Crriea? Do you even have opposable thumbs?
14. There you go. Now, hit enter until you find the first post I made in this thread.
15. It is very big.
16. Fuck… That’s your idea of big? No wonder you don’t have a woman in your life.
17. No, Forest, your cat brides don’t count.
18. There you go. The middle part has my answer on why the gender gap is bullshit.
Yay! Gold star for Forest! (sticks it on his nerf helmet the doctors make him wear)

(Forrest)
“Okay, now in the little window type in my name. Larry Correia.”
You mean the jerk who is spamming me with insults? You expect me to search through all of them?
Here is one for you:
1. Select the relevant text.
2. Press control-C.
3. Select the bottom, where it says, “Write a comment.”
4. Press control-V
Isn’t that way simpler than your method?

(Larry)
“You expect me to search through all of them?”
No. The first one! THE FIRST ONE! HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE THE DUMBEST MOTHERFUCKER WHO HAS EVER LIVED!
One! Uno! Ich! First! Primo! Alpha!
For fuck’s sake! He’s got to be a robot!

(Forrest)
Let me summarize some of your points for you:
“Well, Forest, that would be because it is a stupid fucking question.”
Yeah, except that you can’t seem to answer it.

(Larry)
Yes, that is the post, Forest…. Good. Good…
Now slowly… slowly… Run your gigantic fat finger down the screen (try to ignore the greasy stain that leaves) until you find the paragraph that begins “If you mean the pay gap” and then read the next few paragraphs…
Holy shit… I knew it. He moves his lips when he reads.

(Forrest)
” You’re like that crazy hobo on the subway demanding everyone justify the moon ferrets.”
I deny an such activity.

(Larry)
Forest shouldn’t worry about the gender gap. He’s trying to make the leap from plant to animal.
(Larry)
I like how I’m the incoherent writer though… New York Times bestselling novelist versus a guy who got his zipper stuck in a goat. Yep. That’s gone over super awesome.

(Forrest)
” because I’m a retired accountant, and when people like you try to use stats it is like watching a monkey humping a football.”
So that’s why you are unable to cite any actual facts to support your argument? Because it is like watching a monkey humping a football? They taught you that in accounting school? And you graduated? Really?

(Larry)
Yes, I graduated from “accounting school”.

(Forrest)
” If you mean the pay gap that exists between women, anybody with an ounce of statistical sense knows that it is insignificant”
I didn’t say that, but since you think it is fair to attribute opinions to strangers, I would venture to say you don’t give a damn about the pay gap and don’t know a thing about it.

(Forrest)
” If you don’t understand why my accounting degree is more valuable that your gender studies degree”
Since I don’t have a gender studies degree, I think it is fair to assume that you know nothing about accounting, either.

(Larry)
So there you go. I just posted links to a such right wing sites as Time and the Huffington Post where economists say the same thing that I said, in that the pay gap is a myth.

Hear that, Forrest, that is the sound of you done getting fucked up!

(Forrest)
” about every psychological study ever conducted by somebody not huffing paint understands that women tend to make decisions more emotionally and men tend to make them more logically”
Heh, I DO have a degree in Behavioral Science (Rice U. 1974), and I don’t remember them saying anything like that, which is not surprising, because I expect you just made it up.

(Larry)
Oh, and for this “Since I don’t have a gender studies degree, I think it is fair to assume that you know nothing about accounting, either.”

Yes, I TOTALLY THOUGHT you had a gender studies degree.

Seriously, this guy sets a record for stupid.

(Forrest)
I would prefer just to point out that you are a very rude and poorly-bred person. I assume you have it from your parents.

(Larry)
Since Forrest has gone all literal now, no. I did not go to accounting school. I got my Spaceship Captain license from the Idris Elba School of Spaceship Captaincy at the University of Phoenix.

(Forrest)
” Now, the DNC being a bunch of sleazy shitwads, do manage to have some people working there who are excellent at stats and marketing.”

And this would differ from the RNC in what way?

(Larry)
“I would prefer just to point out that you are a very rude and poorly-bred person.” – You had to be, to survive THE PROGRAM.
“I assume you have it from your parents.” I have no parents. I am a genetically engineered super soldier.

(Forrest)
“I’m assuming they hire evil republican capitalists for these positions because they show some basic competence.”

Oh, Republicans are evil. I should have known.

(Larry)
He brought up my breeding… BECAUSE HE IS RACIST!

Larry Correia Nov 6th, 2014 1:32am
Guys, as much fun as this has been, it is after midnight at Yard Moose Mountain, and unlike Forest, I’ve got a job. I’m turning in.
You pitiless bastards may continue.

MH: Sinners eBook update

Yes, I know the Kindle book isn’t showing up on Amazon yet. It was supposed to be up yesterday. I don’t know what the issue is. Baen knows it isn’t up, but the hold up is on Amazon’s side. They are working on it.