Category Archives: Uncategorized

Wait. I got Black Listed from what now?

It’s going around Twitter that apparently I got black listed again. That by itself isn’t shocking, because at this point of my career whining dipshits have tried to black ball me from a bunch of things. (most recently social justice howler monkeys got me kicked out of a gaming convention, and then tried and failed to get me kicked out of DragonCon).

However this is the first time I think I’ve gotten black balled from an industry I’m not actually in.

There is some list going around about “ComicsGate” and all the badthink people who should be banned from proper, politically correct, goodthinking comic books, because as you know, like all forms of art, comic books should be politically homogeneous to promote social justice, yadda yadda yadda. And if you disagree, obviously it can only be because you want to drag homosexuals to death behind your jacked up truck, something something Handmaid’s Tale.

So I’m on the banned list.

Okay… Only problem is that I don’t work in comic books.

I’ve never written for a comic book. I’ve never had a comic or graphic novel made of any of my properties. I talked about it once with a company a couple of years ago, but nothing panned out, and I kind of forgot about it.

Okay, to be fair, I have been a GI Joe character. But they can’t ban Spreadsheet! Who will take care of GI Joe’s budget?

My only connection to “ComicsGate” is that I’m friends with Chuck Dixon (who is apparently kicking ass and making piles of money doing independent stuff). I’ve never once commented on whatever this latest controversy is, because frankly I’ve paid little attention to it.

As far as I know, it’s more of the same thing we’ve seen before, where an industry gets taken over by a bunch of bossy liberals who assume everybody good in the world thinks the same as they do, and if you are tired of all your entertainment turning into preachy boring virtue signalling, then obviously you are Evil Fascist Hitler who should be shunned and never work again until you starve in a ditch. When actual creative types–who just want to make fans happy so they can Get Paid–get loud and upppity against the establishment circle jerk, then it’s the end of the friggin’ world, racist/sexist REEEEEEEEEE x 1000.

Hell if I know. That’s just a guess. But apparently by just existing I’m part of this terrible evil movement, and I am now black balled from the comics industry.

Well whoop de fucking do. That would probably hurt if I knew anything about comic books.

Seriously, you assholes need a new hobby.

Normally when the Screaming Harpies Of Tolerance try to get me banned from something, it’s regular book publishing, or pitching a fit until I get thrown out of anthology I’d been asked to be in, or getting me kicked out of a con that I’ve been invited to be a guest. That at least requires our noble social justice types to pay a little attention, but now you’re just phoning it in.

You know what though? This REALLY makes me want to make a comic book. Because nothing makes a American want to do something more than having a bossy busy body tell them that they can’t.

October Update Post

My wife scratched that into the floor of our new garage last night.

It has been a busy month. House stuff has been the most time consuming thing, but I know most of you are here for the books, so I’ve got to lead with the important stuff:

Book Releases: 

The Monster Hunter Files anthology just came out in paperback last week.

My last release was Target Rich Environment, which is a collection of my short stories.

My next release is House of Assassins, sequel to Son of the Black Sword, which will be out in February 2019.

What I’m working on: 

Right now I’m working on the finale of Monster Hunter Guardian, which is a collaboration with Sarah Hoyt. It’s about Julie Shackleford, and takes place at the same time as Monster Hunter Siege. It will be released in 2019 (and it is awesome).

The Noir Fatale anthology that I’m editing with KC Ezell is pretty much done. We’re just gathering everyone’s bios. It will be out in 2019.

I’m compiling short stories for Target Rich Environment volume 2. I think it’s going to be a 2019 release also, but I’m not certain about that. I just saw the rough draft of what Kurt Miller is doing for the cover. It’s in the same spirit as the last one, but now with more Bridget, and more manatees.

The last thing I need to do for TRE2 is that I’m waiting for permission to reprint on a couple of stories, just because I really liked the ones that I did for Predator and Aliens.

I started working on Destroyer of Worlds (3rd book in the Saga of the Forgotten Warrior series, after Son of the Black Sword and House of Assassins) and got 35,000 words into it, but then had to pause when I got MHG back from Sarah. Once Guardian is sent off, I’ll be back to work on DoW.

Except… I also owe Mike Williamson another Freehold universe short story this month for his next anthology. But I’ve got to get Guardian out the door first.

Also while all this is going on, I’ve got two other active collaborations where my coauthor is currently working on the rough draft now. John D. Brown (space pirates who specialize in stealing giant fighting robots) has sent me the first few chapters, which I reviewed and sent back, and now he’s… I want to say… about 30,000 words in.

And Steve Diamond is working on our Trench Fantasy (think WW1 eastern front, in a world with dark fairy tale magic) The first look you’ll get at that world is a story that he did for Noir Fatale set there.

Ancillary Projects:

The MHI RPG eARC was made available for backers so they could provide comments and feedback. We’re pretty much good to go, and just waiting for Savage Worlds to finalize their new edition so we can go to print.

The limited edition leather bound Grimnoir are moving along. Vault Books put up an update last week about where they are at. They had some delays because of their fancy paper supplier but it sounds like they’ve got that worked out.

People keep asking me if I’m going to publish Gritty Cop Show: The Game. Yes. But only after the MHI RPG has been delivered.

Appearances:

I will be doing a few weeks of book signings in February for House of Assassins bouncing around America. I will post the dates and locations when we have them finalized.  I’ll be going to some of my regular stops, but also trying to hit several cities I’ve never signed in before.

My next convention will be LTUE in Provo Utah, in February. Well, actually I’ll be going to a convention for neuroscience, but that’s just so I can take notes for future science fiction projects.  🙂

Yard Moose Mountain Update: 

If you follow me on Facebook I’ve been putting up detail pictures of our new house project the whole time. I’ve not been putting these pictures on the blog because WordPress crashes if you look at it funny. But here are a couple of pics so you get an idea of where we’re at. That view I’m looking out will be one of my bedroom windows.

Every window is like that. It’s a 360 degree Bob Ross painting out there. The worst basement window view in my house is still awesome.

This project has taken years, but it’s rather big. The last time we built a house (8 years ago) we built on a normal lot, where there was a road, and electricity, and water, and all that other nice stuff most builders take for granted.

This time, we were the developers. Which meant we were working with a lot about the size of our current neighborhood, and after almost two years of hoop jumping and permit getting,  we put in the road (and like a thousand tons of gravel), dug a well, put in half a mile of electrical cable,  moved I don’t even know how many tons of dirt (seriously, it was like 200 dump truck loads, but we used that to build a shooting range better than most police departments have), and so much more (the septic system on this thing could handle a football team). It’s Project Overkill.

That pic? That ain’t even half of it. This house is nuts.

But it’s coming together finally. The basement is entirely framed. Now it’s just a race between us and the winter to get the roof on and buttoned up. Because since we’re way up in the mountains, once it snows it is really going to slow things down. Everybody else in Utah is praying for moisture, and I’m like, okay sure, but how about NEXT month?

 

My Russian Bot Review of The Last Jedi

Okay, I should be working on the end of Monster Hunter Guardian, but then I saw this dumb ass article, and it absolutely demanded a response. I saw the Last Jedi. I talked about it a little bit on Facebook, but once I started optioning books to Hollywood I quit reviewing movies on my blog. But damn it, this has pushed me too far!

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/star-wars-last-jedi-was-targeted-by-russian-trolls-study-says-1148475

That’s right. Supposedly most of the people who hated The Last Jedi were Russian robots.

And so this was me, thirty seconds after I read that nonsense.

So today, don’t think of me as American novelist Larry Correia. I’m Lavrenty Krasnov, Cossack movie reviewer, who thinks that the Last Jedi was a dumpster fire of suck. Pass the vodka, comrades, because shit is about to get real.

Oh yeah, I’m going to warn you now, there’s going to be a lot of profanity in this review.

First off, I don’t know how many Russian bots are on Twitter, but as for me and my house, we’re actual humans.  And we were dumb enough to go watch Last Jedi opening week. My initial comment upon leaving the theater was something to the effect of “that was the prettiest nonsensical bullshit plot I’ve ever seen.”

The earlier Force Awakens was one of those movies where you have fun as you watch it, and you don’t think about it too hard at the time because by the time you can ponder on a plot hole, it’s already moved quickly onto the next cool visual. But when you leave the theater and you start talking about it with your kids, all the many flaws begin to stick out.

Last Jedi was that turned up to 10 and then the knob got broken off, so Rian Johnson could stick it up his butt. Because in addition to being stupid, it also pretentiously threw away any interesting or good story and character bits from the first movie which could’ve been developed into something interesting.

There was a post on my Facebook fan page (Monster Hunter International: Hunters Unite) about the Last Jedi. It wound up having several hundred participants, and like a thousand comments. Of those, the vast majority didn’t like the movie. Even though I’ve known many of these people for years, little did I realize they were actually Russian robots. (luckily, it turns out Russian robots buy a lot of books, so it’s worked out well for me).

I’ve been a Star Wars fan since I was a kid. And since I was a nerd, I didn’t just watch the movies, I also played the role playing game (old school West End Games), read the comic books, and got together with my friend’s to play with their Star Wars toys. I didn’t have many Star Wars toys myself, because we were poor (and full disclosure, when I did scrape together the money, I got GI Joes instead because I thought their action figures were way cooler. Their knees and elbows bent! Kung Fu Grip, bitches!) And when I was in college I read a pile of the Expanded Universe books. (Tim Zahn is still the king and Admiral Thrawn is a far more compelling bad guy than all the weak ass new villains put together).

Like most 40 somethings, I watched the prequels and thought they were pretty lame, but then I had a bunch of kids, and it was Clone Wars city in my house. You can’t walk ten feet without tripping over a Star Wars toy.  My son has the AT-AT. The big one. The one the size of a dog. The one that I would’ve murdered someone for at that age. And the Legos, holy shit, we’ve spent I don’t know how much money on Star Wars Legos. My kids have the big Millennium Falcon. Do you have any idea how cool that friggin’ thing is?

I also like Rogue One. Mad props for doing something different and interesting WHILE NOT SPITTING ON THE FANS.

But then along comes Last Jedi… and what a farce that was.

When Solo rolled around, even though you literally can’t not step on a Storm Trooper action figure anywhere in my house, I asked the kids, “Hey, Solo is out this week. You guys want to go see it?” And I got a chorus of mehs. They didn’t care enough to bother.

The Last Jedi had killed their enthusiasm.

And you’ve got to understand. Me and my kids, we do movies right. So when we go to the theater we go to the one with the comfy recliner chairs, I even spring for sodas and candy bars, and then we always go out to eat afterwards, and Dad pays for it all. And I raised a bunch of cheap mercenary capitalists, so they understand Take Advantage Of Dad Paying For Stuff Whenever Possible.

But nothing. Just a chorus of meh.

So how fucking much did Last Jedi have to suck to kill the enthusiasm of a bunch of Star Wars dorks that they couldn’t even bother to unass the couch to watch Solo, eat snacks, and then get pizza?

It sucked all the suck. That’s how much.

My oldest didn’t actively hate it. She was kind of blah, take it or leave it, and she’s a fan of John Boyega the same way I’m a fan of Idris Elba (Yeah, I’ve got a man crush on Idris Elba, so sue me).  That’s the highest praise any of my family could muster. Even my youngest was bored AND HE LITERALLY WANTS TO BE A DEATH TROOPER WHEN HE GROWS UP.

Just the fact Rian Johnson can so smugly turn off fans like that is infuriating, and I haven’t even gotten to the actual review yet.

When I review movies, I do it as a writer and professional story teller. Making up characters and having them get into interesting circumstances that people find entertaining is how I pay the bills and buy all these motherfucking Legos. On one of the many, many Facebook pages I saw arguing about this stupid movie, some woman told people that if they thought they could write a better story, we should. My response was NO PROBLEM. I could write a better story that Last Jedi in my sleep, because this story was trash.

So I’m going to try and set my nerdy fan boy aside and tackle this review from a story teller’s point of view.

The plot of the Last Jedi feels like fan fiction written by a pretentious English major trying to wow the teacher with his deconstructionist brilliance. So while he simultaneously tries to beat by beat match the previous works (in a hamfisted way) he’s also going to “subvert” everything (SO EDGY!).

Characters

Characters are the single most important thing in most stories. They are the best tool a writer has to work with to tell an awesome story. When we last we saw these characters introduced in Force Awakens, sure, there were some flaws, (like holy shit Rey is OP), but there were also a lot of interesting potential threads left that could be developed into—

Fuck. Fin’s just comic relief now. Way to go, Rain.

No really, Fin was by far the most interesting character, with the most interesting arc, and the most potential for development after TFA.  Rain, or whatever weird ass way his name is spelled, I don’t even care anymore, just pissed all over that.  Apparently when Fin was in medical stasis he dropped about 15 IQ points.

But fucking up a new character is one thing… Ruining legends is a crime.

Luke was a travesty. That was just bullshit right there. If I’d had a look at the script beforehand I would have rolled it up tight and smacked Ryan over the head with it while shouting “what the fuck is wrong with you! You’ve been given custody of one of the most beloved characters in history and this is what you do with him?”

And the fact that nobody at Disney did that is the real travesty.

Listen, I’ve written in other people’s universes. And the first damned thing you do is your basic homework of what makes it tick, and what things are sacred. You don’t try to “subvert” what came before. You see why people loved it and then you build on it.

Like holy shit man, I’ve written stories for Aliens, Predator, V Wars (coming soon to Netflix!), Warmachine, and I’m probably forgetting some other IPs I’ve worked in, that’s basic fucking IP Writing 101. You do your homework. You respect what came before. AND YOU DON’T PISS OFF THE FANS.

So yeah, Luke, the hero of your childhood is now an asshole. Deal with it.

You’d think they’d learned from Han Solo in the last one. Hey, that beloved character, yeah, he’s basically a loser who lives in a van down by the river. But at least it felt like Harrison Ford was playing Han Solo. Mark was playing some useless grumpy old asshole.

Not that characters can’t change. They can. And they should. But when you as the writer change a character you’ve got to show that. You’ve got to make it organic. You can’t just slap them in the face and go EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT I’M SO EDGY.

Go milk a fucking walrus, you hack.

What a waste. Don’t even get me started on Space Mary Poppins.

While I’m still on characters, the greatest example of Rain’s fucked up perspective of how to use even the 2nd tier characters… Holy shit.. Admiral Motherfucking Ackbar.

Think about this. Everybody in the world knows Admiral Ackbar. I could hop on a plane to Kazakhstan right now, get a rental jeep, go up in the mountains, find a goat herder in a village that doesn’t have electricity, show him a picture of Admiral Ackbar, bad ass lobsterman, and that goat herd would immediately shout IT’S A TRAP!

Admiral Ackbar has transcended being a character to become a cultural icon. He’s like the #1 meme on the internet. Everybody loves Admiral Ackbar.

Now watch as Rian Johnson pisses in your eyes.

He took this cultural icon, this HERO, and capped him so casually that I wasn’t even sure what happened. Like, wait, what?

But not only that, in this dumbfuck plot some assholes threw together after smoking way too much weed, there’s another new character, Admiral Evening Gown, who struts in and does everything that he easily could’ve had Admiral Ackbar do, big heroic sacrifice moment and all that jazz, but nope. Fuck Ackbar, and fuck your memories. Here’s this totally unlikable new character.

And yes. Everybody hates Admiral Holdo because she was an awful character who was completely useless, most of the plot only exists because of her Plot Mandated Stupidity, and then here is a crowning moment of awesome hyperspace kamikazee… Oh, but wait, I’ll get that scene later, because honestly, though beautiful, it’s the worst scene of the movie for a reason.

But if you say you don’t like Admiral Holdo, who behaved like she was beaten with an idiot stick, IT MUST BE BECAUSE YOU HATE WOMEN. And since I’ve written like twenty novels chock full of heroic female characters (only mine have functioning brains) I just rolled my eyes so hard I injured myself, but whatever, that’s the world we live in now, comrades.

It’s literally every character written as dumb. I saw that there was some controversy because rabid fanboys were yelling at Rose. That’s unfair. Yeah, her character was stupid, BUT THEY WERE ALL STUPID. That’s not the actresses fault. They could have cast Dame Judi Dench and it still would have sucked, because an actor can only do so much when your script is made of cheese.

The bad guys… Admiral Hux of the Huxington Huxtables went from being menacing frat boy in the first movie, to idiot comedy relief. Seriously, Admiral Thrawn would have had all these mopes flogged.

Oh, look, there’s a lone rebel righter just parked there, doing the most idiotic bad microphone shtick in the history of movies, you think maybe we should like do something defensive or something? Naw… I’m just a spaceship captain. What’s the worst that could happen? Like seriously, these people make the crew of the Prometheus look like VonClauswitz.

Despite Rey being the best at literally everything in the universe EVER, there were some possible character arcs that could’ve been taken after TFA. But nope, Rain is SO EDGY, but he couldn’t possibly do anything to humanize the uber character. Same with Kylo. One of the only things I’ll give this movie is that at least he was more interesting that the mopey emo crybaby they made him in the last one.

That’s some pretty faint praise all things considered.

Characters it’s all about rooting for someone. When your characters do nothing but stupid shit, it’s hard to root for them. Your antagonists need to be menacing, not clowns, or worse, just thrown away! (hey, Snoke is interesting… and never mind…).  Or Phasma. Hey, wow, she must be super bad ass to have the silver armor and…. Garbage chute… Maybe some menace this time and…. Oh fuck it.

The Ewoks had more character than this. AND THEY COULDN’T BLINK.

Plot

Now that we’ve written every character to be a complete bumbling idiot, useless asshole, or made of wood, let’s give them interesting things to do!

Oh wait… This is Rain Johnson we’re talking about. Never mind.

There are so many plots holes… I think I put more thought into continuity for a short story than Disney did for this bazillion dollar movie. If there was a continuity person on this train wreck, FIRE HIM.

Our basic plot is that in the last movie when Totally Not The Death Star blew up a bunch of planets (with a faster than light beam that is dramatically visible to the naked eye), the Millennium Falcon flew through a shield at hyperspeed (not much a shield then is it) before shutting it off manually in the .000000000000001 of a second before impact, to save the day, so that Rey who has like three minutes of training can kick the shit out of a dude who has been punching rocks under waterfalls for the last twenty years (Rey is basically Kung Fu Panda).

So that all happened in the last flick, and Rain Johnson scoffed, and said, “You call those plot holes? I’ll show you plot holes J.J. Abrams! Hold my bong and watch this!”

So after the New Republic demonstrated that it is the most inept government in history, the Hash Tag Resistance is on the run, as they moved around the plot beats of Empire Strikes Back.

Now, the New Order could’ve just targeted the fleet first, and spared us this entire clusterfuck of a movie, and even though they’re apparently smart enough to overthrow the New Republic, build planet sized super weapons (like… after the sun eater sucks up a star, do they fly the planet to a new sun?) they totally didn’t think of that.

Then we’ve got the scene with the space bombers. Because gravity totally works in space… What the hell was that nonsense?

Yeah, I know space wizards and lightning swords, but trust me, I do this shit for a living. Your audience will give you a pass for certain things and immerse themselves, as long as you don’t break the fundamental already established laws of that universe.

But not Rain. Oh no. Motherfucking space bombs. Because reasons.

And Poe Dameron does the equivalent of having one F-16 pop the USS Ronald Reagan, while the super carrier sits there and goes duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur.

Then the chase… And remember, the entire point of the chase is to get somewhere they can send a message begging for help. (they just blew up a bunch of planets with billions of innocent people on them, and nobody steps up… How much do your allies suck?).  But during this chase, lasers have BALLISTIC DROP.

And at that point, I was eating popcorn and thinking, just shoot me now. I once read a textbook on the physics of gravity TO WRITE ONE FIGHT SCENE, and this motherfucker got millions of dollars for this gibberish. Hey, Hollywood, I WORK CHEAP.

But anyways, after Fin tries to desert (and we all know that desertion in a desperate life or death war is basically comedy), Admiral Holdo causes most of their problems through some really awful leadership decisions.

There’s this thing in writing, where you couldn’t have a plot unless the characters are really stupid. You see it mostly in low budget horror movies. Where if the characters were smart, they wouldn’t get in trouble, but instead it’s like hey, there’s an axe murderer, let’s go off by ourselves to smoke pot and have sex. Yeah…. That’s this level of writing. The plot only exists because all the characters are too stupid to live.

Well written movies avoid this problem, by having everyone act in a manner consistent with their established character, and then twist the circumstances to force them into the interesting events. Lazy assholes just figure have the characters do dumb shit, they’ve got a huge special effects budget to distract people, and if anybody complains, just say they’re not real actual people, or they’re racist, or something. Hell if I know.

So then we’ve got this absurd subplot where Fin and Rose go off to get some specific hacker on casino planet. Except remember, the whole goal was to get somewhere to send a message… Why doesn’t Fin just send the message on Casino Planet?

But anyways, let’s shove in some hamfisted message about the military industrial complex or WTF ever that was supposed to be.  (Trust me, before I was a writer I was in the military industrial complex, it’s relatively boring, and I never once got to swim in a Scrooge McDuck style money vault). But then they rescue space horses, and after all that recruit the totally untrustworthy guy who like totally won’t betray them… And the only reason they got caught was because they parked their shuttle someplace stupid.

Seriously, bad horror movie writing. If Fin and Rose had taken a break to get high and make out in the forest and then gotten killed by an axe murderer, it would have made just as much sense as this shit. When teenage characters make those kinds of decisions in movies like Night of the Demons, the audience gives it a pass, but when a bunch of supposed military rebel professionals do stupid shit like that, the audience groans.

The really sad thing is that Benecio DelToro is actually a bad ass actor. How badly do you have to fuck up a script to waste Benecio DelToro? Sure, he always looks like he just woke up with a hangover, but that can be downright menacing (see Sicario, an exceedingly dark, but well written movie).

And his big betrayal? Yeah. They’re going to get in little ships and fly to the only planet anywhere near. And the Not Empire is all like Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur thanks we never thought about looking out da window!

But anyways, there’s another subplot where Luke Skywalker is basically a useless asshole so Rain Johnson can poop on your childhood, but we’ve already hit the high points there.

Then back to my absolute favorite part of this trainwreck. The stupid space kamikaze move. It was the most hauntingly beautiful shot, or a piece of terrible writing, in the entire history of movies. So Holdo takes the reins, flips around their cruiser, slams it into hyperspace, and smokes not just the Not Empire’s super giant flag ship, but also its entire carrier battle group of super bad ass star destroyers.

Let’s break this down, and why it is so obnoxiously, incredibly, painfully stupid.

If you can take a cheap ass freighter and easy button instakill an entire carrier battle group, then why haven’t they done this in any of the previous movies?  Why fly down the trench of the Death Star? Or into the interior of the 2nd? Why have big fleet battles at all?

In writing, this is a basic fuck up that you usually see from newer fantasy authors. That’s where they’ve got their established rules, but then they toss in some new super amazing hotness power, but which invalidates all the previous struggles (because why not just use that?). It’s why the Time Turner shows up in Harry Potter, and then is promptly forgotten about. Because I’m sorry, if I was writing that, I could fuck some shit up with a Time Turner.

But anyways, back to Rain’s crowning moment of stupid… If you can hyperspace kamikaze slam a far weaker ship into a far superior ship so hard that you can secondary kill battleships just off the spalling, why didn’t they do that before? Why have fleet battles at all? Build the cheapest Mon-Cal freighter you can, and stick a single pissed off suicidal droid pilot on it. Whammo. Problem solved.

It invalidates the entire movie Rogue One. Why go through all that struggle to get the Death Star plans when you can just render one combat ineffective with a hypserspace freighter. Boom. Done.

It’s shit writing. Period.

Not only does it invalidate and make pointless every other space battle in all the movies (because again, why go through all that when you’ve got an easy button) but it also breaks the internal logic of this movie. Because there were several large ships that ran out of gas before that, who drifted back, to get destroyed, AND THEIR CAPTAINS WENT DOWN WITH THE SHIP!

So when one of those hits E and the gas tank warning light comes on, instead of dying like a little bitch, why not flip around and go all space kamikaze on their ass instead?

These are those simple, basic questions that writers (and their editors!) should be asking when they’re putting together scenes like that. I can’t imagine that there was somebody, anybody, at Disney , who looked at that and caught what an absurdity it was.

I’ve seen some die hard defenders of TLJ try to insert explanations of why they didn’t do that move before, or why it would only work in this one specific situation… Except NONE OF THAT IS ACTUALLY IN THE MOVIE. It’s called theory crafting. And if you have to theory craft on a whole bunch of extra plot to explain a plot hole, that’s still a writing fail.

But just for a moment, let’s pretend that Rain Johnson isn’t a pretentious asshole, and imagine that he actually had the writing chops to put in an explanation justifying this one off super cool maneuver…. Even then the crowning moment of heroic sacrifice went to an unlikable new character because he’d already thrown away Admiral Ackbar.

The instant that shot happened, all quiet, and ominous, my thought process was that’s cool looking, but then my mind started thinking through all the ramifications.

Like I said above about IP Writing 101. It’s about respecting what came before. That shot was the ultimate disrespect.

Then the finale, which is basically the opening of Hoth. Again, pretty to look at, but vapid and stupid. Oh, and by the way, the super awesome light saber showdown you’ve been waiting for between the master and student? SUBVERTED! SO EDGY!

And in the end Luke just wastes away… Kind of like the Star Wars franchises’ potential.

In conclusion, that’s what disgusts me the most. You got entrusted with the most valuable IP in the world, and THIS is what you did with it? And you assholes don’t even have the stones to fess up that it could’ve been better, that your characters were lame, and your plot made of Swiss cheese. Oh no… That would require an ounce of artistic humility and self-awareness.  Instead you flip it around and it’s all bullshit obfuscation about social justice. So when Solo flopped, obviously that’s because of all these other reasons, and not because TLJ was so lame you managed to strangle our enthusiasm.

I wasn’t going to say anything until I saw that we’re all Russian bots.  So today I put on my ushanka and drew my Cossack saber. (actually, they both belong to my son, because he’s the one who is learning to speak Russian, and I was too lazy to get one of my AK-47s out of the gun safe). I am proud to be counted among the Russian Bots who think that The Last Jedi was utter dreck.

Monster Hunter Files now available in Paperback

The Monster Hunter Files anthology is now available in paperback!

The Monster Hunter Files are a collection of stories by a whole bunch of really amazing authors, set in the Monster Hunter universe.  I think we got something like nine New York Times bestsellers in here.

There are stories from Jim Butcher, Faith Hunter, Jonathan Maberry, Jody Lynn Nye, John Ringo, Sarah Hoyt, Mike Kupari, Jessica Day George, John C. Wright, Maurice Broaddus, Brad Torgersen, Quincy Allen, Alex Shvartsman, Kim May, Steve Diamond, Julie Frost, Bryan Thomas Schmidt, and me.

I’m biased, but I think it is awesome. 🙂  Check it out!

Book Bomb! Empire of Silence

It is Book Bomb Day!

A Book Bomb is when we pick out a deserving author who could use a publicity boost, and get as many people as possible to buy their book in the same day on Amazon. The more people who buy, the higher it goes in the sales rankings. Once it gets on some bestseller lists, that gets it in front of even more new eyes. Success breeds success, the author gets new readers, and most importantly, the author GETS PAID.

Today’s Book Bomb is for my friend Christopher Ruocchio’s debut novel, Empire of Silence.

Empire of Silence
by Christoper Ruocchio

Don’t let the debut novel thing scare you. This book is excellently written. It’s like a Roman version of Dune. I’ve been listening to the audiobook and I’ve really enjoyed it.

I know Christopher because he works in the office at Baen Books. However, you’ll note that this book isn’t from Baen. Ironically enough, he’d just barely sold this book to a different publisher about a week or two before Baen hired him to work there. He’s a great guy and fun to hang out with, but I don’t pick BBs based on niceness, but rather because I think the book is awesome.

I hope you like it. Please help spread the word. The key to success in a Book Bomb is momentum. The more people who jump on board, the higher it gets in the rankings, the more new people see it. I’ve put on a lot of these over the years, and we’ve had some great results. So please tell your friends, share the link, etc.

I’ll be updating the sales rank throughout the day. I started launching these the night before the actual BB date because Amazon has a long delay before the sales start to register.

At  8:00PM MST:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #22,033 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #66,312 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

And I don’t usually do this section, but since I mentioned Audio:
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

EDIT 1: So I wake up this morning to find that we are rolling!  Up 20,000 spots on Kindle, 50,000 in hard cover, and 110 in Audible.

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,967 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #16,170 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

HOWEVER! I just learned of something even more important. Author Dave Butler (a prior Book Bomb recipient for the excellent Witchy Eye) has thrown down the gauntlet. Dave has declared a challenge. If we can get Christopher onto the Amazon Top 10, Dave Butler will wear a toga to LTUE.

This is serious business. Dave said in honor of Empire of Silence he will even wear it in proper House Marlowe colors (it’s from the book, trust me).

So if you participate and spread the word, not only do you get a book and help out a great new author and all around good dude, I will take many photos of Dave Butler in a togo to share with the internet.

EDIT 2:  Still climbing

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,233 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,442 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

EDIT 3: For the dinner time crowd, still climbing

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,732 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

EDIT: So I went to bed early so I missed get shots of the high, but we broke into the top 10 in genre, and bumped up everything else. Nice.