Manatees Gather in Record Numbers Awaiting Tomorrow’s Release of Tom Stranger 2

January 22nd, 2018, Florida.

Vast crowds of manatees are lining up in preparation for tomorrow’s Audible release of A Murder of Manatees, starring Interdimensional Insurance Agent Tom Stranger, narrated by former President of the United States, Adam Baldwin, and written by some minor author.

manatee line

There is a festive mood among the manatees camped out in line. Record crowds are expected at theaters across Florida’s waterways. A Murder of Manatees is expected to break all box office records among aquatic mammals.

In the foreign market, humans and other land mammals will be able to download A Murder of Manatees from tomorrow, but it is available for preorder now at this link:

Murder of Manatees

“Flooooooo” Cynthia P. Manatee replied when our reporter asked about how excited she and her children were to see A Murder of Manatees on the big screen. “Mooo,” explaining how this would surely make up for the let down she experienced after camping out for The Last Jedi, a sentiment shared by many manatees, and backed up TLJ’s dismal performance at the underwater box office.

Many manatees were dressed in festive costumes, cosplaying as their favorite characters from the Tom Stranger series.

Manatees in cosplay. From left to right, Tom Stranger, Muffy Sparkles, Jimmy the Intern, and four Wendells
Manatees in cosplay. From left to right, Tom Stranger, Muffy Sparkles, Jimmy the Intern, and four Wendells
Tom Stranger 2: A Murder of Manatees AVAILABLE NOW!
Gritty Cop Show Test Game: Episode 2

This marketing is best marketing. XD

Misha Burnett

Speaking hypothetically, would it be wrong to threaten to disinherit one’s eldest child unless she went to a convention cosplaying as a manatee dressed as Tom Stranger?

Asking for a friend.


When said eldest child says, “I’m pretty sure I can live without your holey collection of 80’s hair-band T-shirts”, that’s when they’re headed off to boarding school! 😀


For those who might be worried: The mob looks unruly but manatees who are camping out in line are very civilized. Since the event isn’t happening until tomorrow, they’re simply milling around and catching up with friends and family. Scientists are still baffled at how they pull this off.


I’m kinda shaped like a manatee …. does that count as cosplay?


…Okay, they look ridiculously cuddly. Will you be making/selling Wendell plushies for the store?


Since for some reason I can’t upvote you +1 to you 🙂

Kat Wilton

Dang, I’m not sure I can *stand* to wait until tomorrow! The anticipation is killing me (mainly because I can’t seem to quench the Carly Simon voice… 😝😝😝)

Tomorrow needs to arrive quickly before I surpass my normal insanity! LOLOL

Orvan Taurus

It’s “tomorrow” now, but evidently not “tomorrow” enough just yet. Well, it should Just Appear sometime in the next several hours now. Something to listen to after having dealt with that foot+ of global warming that fell yesterday. I’ll have to be careful… not to spill my drink due to the laughter.