Gauging Interest, Fully Illustrated Christmas Noun Books for Christmas Presents

Random thought. I made the mistake of revealing that I like to doodle cartoons back during the challenge coin kickstarter. Ever since then I’ve had fans asking me for doodles of various things (despite the fact that I can’t actually draw). Then during Sad Puppies I did another cartoon, which you guys seemed to enjoy, and once Jack colored those they actually looked pretty decent.

You know what I’ve got that would lend itself to my remarkable artistic skills? THE CHRISTMAS NOUN! 

So Jack and I got to talking about it. How many of you would be interested in a fully illustrated Christmas Noun book to give as a Christmas present? 

It would be like a demented children’s book, not meant for children. And I get to draw Wendell driving a monster truck having a car chase against a sleigh pulled by velociraptors. I’d do a full color picture for each year’s episode, and then black and white smaller pics for in the story.  

Knowing how much it costs to print stuff here, size wise and with the color pictures and good paper, they’d probably be $20 to $25 each. 

Interested? Or is this idea just too silly to live? 

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110 thoughts on “Gauging Interest, Fully Illustrated Christmas Noun Books for Christmas Presents”

    1. At some point (maybe for next year) you should do a Kickstarter of Christmas Noun challenge coins. I’ll buy 2 sets of those suckers, too.

  1. Where do I enter my credit card info? I have liberal family members who need to get this.

    1. Much as I love Phil’s work, I want to see more of Larry’s doodling.

      Count me in Larry. And if Owen Pitt happens to make a cameo appearance in one, you can count me twice.

      By the way, this is the Internet Age. NO idea is too silly to live.

  2. And Disqus’s refusal to allow spell checks inside their dialogs is starting to irritate me.

    I would probably buy it with your illustrations as well … sight unseen

      1. Well he *is* the “International” Lord of Hate, so international shipping’s kind of a given I’d think. Maybe you can request that he include Twinkies;-).

  3. If you kickstarter it, people who cough up dough could go after escalating levels of artistic direction on one panel, or one page, or one chapter of the Christmas Noun.

  4. Sell it with crayons w/non-approved by SJW colors for the B&W pictures. then you can add “COLORING BOOK” to the title tags and increase your sales even more!

      1. They were for drawing rude pictures and writing curse words on your big brother’s black 3-ring binder. My little brother taught me that. I taught him a lesson too.

  5. Short answer: Yes.

    Long answer: YesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYesYes

    Do you want the full answer?

  6. Short on cash with my four very dear children, and I like carrying my literature with me when I travel for work. Can I get an e-book for less than that?

  7. I could probably find the $$$$. Maybe buy 4-6 depending on the quality and entertainment value. I can’t promise anything till I see a sample page.

    I’m from Texas. We take our handshakes and promises seriously. Like a contract.

    Oh, and we take our guns very seriously. 🙂

    1. I don’t know how seriously Texans can claim to take their preparations for combat. I never saw any manatee brigades when I was last down there. 😉

      1. I’m one of the Manatees in Manatee Team 6 based out of Texas. I have 257 confirmed kills and once shot a terrorist through the eye from 8 miles away.

  8. Larry, is there ANY possible way to include the Cookie Monster comment thread? As an extra Christmas bonus? Are there any Marines in here to tell Larry to do it for Chesty?

    1. The CM needs to be included, or he no gonna be happy. And we all know what happens when the CM isn’t happy…

      I will also speak on behalf of two Marines – DEFINITELY do it for Chesty. One of the few men the CM ever respected.

  9. *sigh* Should’ve had Larry sign my wallet instead of my tablet in Omaha…Yes, help yourself to my bank account. Again.

  10. “…I get to draw Wendell driving a monster truck having a car chase against a sleigh pulled by velociraptors.”

    Wait, you haven’t already done that?

    1. Now you’ve gone and spoiled the surprise, Ratus. Larry was going to write the ultimate conservative/liberal crossover short story: “If You Were a Dinosaur, My Lead Reindeer”.

  11. I bet you could have a lot of fun with a ‘preposition’ book too.

    When you go by parts of speech, you can get to “half of English” fairly easily. (conjunctions, articles, prepositions, pronouns).

    Then it’s “Larry’s Complete English Primer, Volume I of II.”

  12. So, here’s another silly idea:

    For Sad Puppies 3 (assuming there is one, and let’s face it, there has to be) someone should rewrite the lyrics to Ogden Edsel’s “Dead Puppies Aren’t Much Fun”.

    “Sad Puppies at Worldcon” would tell the tale of the SMoF brigade and their nefarious drive to sadden puppies everywhere. Then, the Evil League of Evil swoops in to save the day, bringing happiness to puppies all across the land.

    Get a respectable filker to sing it, and it’d make a great theme song.

  13. I’d buy this in a freaking heartbeat! I’d suggest doing it as a Kickstarter and you’ll make a fortune on it.

  14. I would buy this- how about gauging interest by offering the e-book scans for a small price? (say, about $5. or maybe throw them in as a preorder bonus for an MHI book) Then offer the print buyers a $5 discount if they bought the ebook version?

  15. I could probably cough up a twenty-spot in some reasonable time frame for that. What the hell, make the durn thing and we’ll see what’s what.

  16. Yeah, I’d probably buy one. Your doodles are cute. Wish I hadn’t forgotten to ask you for one at your book signing.

  17. Snowflakes that stay on my ass until my writing career is shot,
    Grinches that steal gendered pronouns
    Dinosaurs that eat white privilege
    My chestnuts roasting in a feminist fire
    White male cis-het power fantasies
    The Patriarchy Christmas turkey
    Brown paper packages with trigger warnings
    Warm woolen mittens knitted with man-guts
    White comfort food like macaroni and cheese
    These are a few of my favorite things

  18. It’s weird how I didn’t realize my life was a hollow mockery due to a lack of illustrated Noun until just a minute ago…

    1.         The Christmas Noun, ILLUSTRATED EDITION is like a microwave, a garage door opener, a pocket calculator or a tv remote.

              Before you have one, you don’t see any need for it.  After you have it, you can’t imagine living without it.

  19. My dad is the one who turned me on to your writing; he’s also nearly impossible to shop for. This would be an awesome Christmas present! Please save me from having to pound my head against the wall that is trying to come up with gift ideas for him.

  20. I am rather indifferent, myself, but a co-worker said that he would have to start setting aside money to buy some extra copies for his in-laws.

  21. THIS MUST HAPPEN!!!

    The internet demands it!

    Also, while you’re considering Christmas Noun merchandise, I’ve been looking for a Wendel the Manatee, CFO of Correiatech, Christmas Tree Topper.

  22. Yes! Another way for larry to seperate me from my money. Besides there are a few people I will enjoy watching when they see the book just lying “innocently” out in the open.

  23. Take the food from the mouths of my family. I cannot afford to buy this wonderful entertainment but I will, and the children will be hungry for a few days. Hey wait…. Kids are grown and have kids of their own. Just me and the wife and she buys her own damn food so hells yeah. I will.

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