My DNA says my ancestors got around

So I got my DNA tested by I wanted to see where my ancestors hailed from. Some was expected, but there were a few surprises in there.

Southern European 34%  –  And the winner is, Portuguese! Having two grandparents from the Azores makes this one obvious. However, if I’ve got two Azorean grandparents, shouldn’t that be 50%? Of course not! If there is one thing the Portuguese are awesome at it is travelling around the world and picking up chicks!

Eastern European 21% – Also expected. I have one grandmother whose family immigrated to Pennsylvania from Poland and Latvia. This was also the family with the Hebrew surname, but there was no middle eastern DNA.

Finnish/Volga-Ural 17% – Now this is interesting, but Finland and Latvia aren’t exactly super far apart. Though those two together is way higher than the 1/4 of my DNA that is supposed to be from that part of the world.

British Isles 13% – Also interesting, as it is much lower than expected. My other grandfather was supposedly 100% British by way of Mississippi. Yet it is looking like there was something else in there too.

Scandinavian 8% – I am a Viking Conquistador!  But as much as the Vikings got around I wouldn’t be surprised if everybody in Europe had some in there.

Central European 7% – France and Germany. But I suspect this one helps fill in the 50% Portuguese gap. My family actually has Azorean cousins whose family had a French/Belgian last name. Like I said… Super good at picking up chicks.

The part that is kind of cool is that when you combine the Slavic and the far north eastern/Russian bits, that’s 38%, while my primary ethnicity that I grew up with is actually smaller at 34%. Who would have expected that? Though it does explain why I’m one big ugly Cossack looking dude.  Add the Scandanavian in there and that’s 46%, almost half.  I didn’t know there were so many Rus and Varangians in the genetic woodpile.

Another interesting bit was that there was no middle eastern/Jewish, but it wasn’t like that Grandma ever talked about her family (she ran away from home when she was a kid) so our thinking that she grew up Jewish was based more on surnames and conjecture than anything.

Sadly, I am not related to Genghis Khan. That’s a bummer. 🙂

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Michael Z. Williamson

Slav? Then my ancestors looted and raped your ancestors, and used them as slaves.


I can feel the guilt oozing from Mr. Williamson.


He should totally pay ancestral reparations. like $10,000 towards Larry’s current Kickstarter project.


A lot of modern Jews don’t have middle-eastern DNA. They were converts from Eastern Europe. So your Hebrew grandma was probably one of these.


I totally should get this done…


How much Neanderthal blood?

J. Kathleen Cheney

Me, too…


So basically what you’re saying is that you’re a mutt. Like most of us are. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Rev. Paul

What bclewis said; think “hybrid vigor” – just makes you stronger.


On the subject of ethnic background I once was on the edge of telling someone “I’m American; which part of the mix you want to know about, asshole?”

They were kind of insistent on ‘What are you?’; nearly got more of an answer than they wanted.


What am I … When asked that I start singing loudly and off key a lyric by a Comedian.. Dennis Leary (-= My ex wife says it is very accurate description.


As an adoptee, I really should have this done. Going by my adoptive grandparents, I’m 3/4 Scots Irish and 1/4 Irish. I claim my youthful indiscretions with fireworks to have been attempts at car-bombing myself. :-p


Finnish Huh ? I was 21 years old when I learned DamnFinn was two words. 😉


So, your detractors were correct. You ARE a white dude.


There has been some recent studies that say the ashkenazi jews dont have much if any jewish blood. It came up mainly central european when tested the same way yours was.

JD(not the one with the picture)
JD(not the one with the picture)

Family dinner? comment image


Family ancestry is so much fun! And you have a great family line. Mine traces back on one side to five Irish brothers who got kicked out of Ireland…..We still don’t know what they did. 🙂

Cyn Bagley

I haven’t done that particular test, but I have done the mtDNA (Northern European– think Cheddar Man as a relative) and ptDNA (one of my brothers) which lands us in the Mid-east. They went north 4000 BC (or thereabouts). That one was a surprise. Viking for sure– and other stuff.

Patrick Mullane

Thankfully to become 100% Irish, all you need to do is just drink the required amount of Stout and/or Whiskey.


You only get a random half of your genes from a given parent.

Odds are that you share no genes with ancestors more than 6 generations back.

Wesley Nichols

That does not seem to make sense.


What do you mean, not related to Genghis Khan?!? Your book sales indicate otherwise!