Wow. That milestone snuck up on me, but I guess that’s what happens when you have 350,000 new readers in a week. Now if only I could get all of them to buy stuff through the Amazon links off to the side, I could pay my house off…
Blogging is weird. It took me like two years to get to half a million. Then it started climbing. When I broke the first million somebody asked how it felt, so I wrote the following crazy nonsense, and then I reposted it when we hit the 2 million mark too, so I guess since this is now tradtion, I have to repost this bit of sillyness.
So how awesome is getting 3 million hits on your blog? How does this make me feel? Well, if I could paint you a picture, it would look something like this:
How about Conan punching a tyranosaurs in the face while Linnea Quigley (like she looked in the 80s) fights a hot zombie chick with a chainsaw, and Linnea is in a tank top that is all ripped and about to fall off, and they’re on top of a speeding monster truck painted in tiger stripes playing a sound track by Dokken, and the monster truck is jumping over a tank that is exploding and there are ninjas flying everywhere on bullet bikes while pterodactyls shooting laser beams out of their eyes cause a big explosion with a massive fireball and then there’s like tigers with wings shooting out of the ground and theres like this skeleton, but the skeleton is wearing a chainmail bikini so you know that it was like totally a hot chick once too, but then like there’s this dude who looks like a samurai, but he’s fighting a cowboy, and blocking the cowboy’s bullets with his katana, because it is a LASER KATANA! But then the samurai is totally Chow Yun Fat and the cowboy is Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bullets in mid air to make them go faster, and there should be lightning bolts coming out of the sky, and then have like a big laughing skull behind it all, and the skull should totally be Hitler! because then you know he’s the badguy, and he should have that little mustache, and Conan and Chuck Norris are all going to totally kick his ass. And make the pterodactyls red, and put like a hammer and sickle on them, so you know they’re totally evil communist dinosaur clones, and make the monster truck be shooting blue flames out the back from all the nitro and the big tires should have spikes, and like nazi zombies are totally trapped in the spikes! And then have more hot chicks on the side, only make one like a devil with a tail and a pitchfork, and then the other side the hot chick should be an angel, but make her look a little naughty, if you know what I mean. Then make it in 3D! So that everything jumps out at you, and add more explosions, so you’re all like WOOSH KaBLAAAM PoW! POW! POW!
And yes, that does still work.
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