T’is the season… FOR NOUN

In between trying to write two novels at the same time (Warbound comes out in August and Swords of Exodus comes out in September) and a bunch of other stuff, I need to hurry up and squeeze in a new Christmas Noun. I should have that posted next week. (in theory at least).

If you’ve not read the other ones, I really suggest you catch up and read what is possibly the greatest bad Christmas story ever.

2008: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/the-christmas-noun/  Young Tim overcomes his hatred of Christmas to battle the Anti-Claus in the Peppermint Thunderdome.

2009: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/the-christmas-noun-2-the-nounening/ Stabby the Snowman and the Global Warming Power of Love

2010: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/the-christmas-noun-3d-the-gritty-reboot/  Rudolf and the Reindeer Seperatists declare jihad on Christmas.

2011: http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2011/12/19/christmas-noun-4-occupy-christmas-noun/ The Christmas Noun gets occupied by the 99%.

And I do take requests. :)

24 Responses

  1. Jack Frost has been secretly arming the abominable snowmen with Santa’s armory, then lies ten ways to Sunday when the whole thing is laid out for the world to see.

    • Jack Fros talways gets the shaft. First, he’s a villain. Then, he’s played by Martin Short in a Tim Allen abortion…

      Now, Old King Cole, that merry old soul, needs some nouning…

  2. I don’t know about story but Larry there has been a serious lack of laser beams in previous noun stories. You need lasers in this one.

  3. No Virginia, the grammar clause is not Santa ‘s grandma

  4. The Obamanazi’s launch a devastating attack on Christmas by enacting an excise tax on all gifts delivered by Santa.

  5. Then I have a request, but for the Sword of Exodus: I think Michael Moore needs to by punched in every Dead Six sequel…

  6. Mrs. Claus decides to leave Santa for Jack Frost. The depressed Mr. Clause decides to terrorize the nation and wage war on Jack.

  7. The spirit of Mokoto needs to return as the avenging spirit of Christmas

  8. As someone who’s been reading you since you were writing fan fiction on THR, can I just say that this was my favorite part of out of all the Christmas (noun) stories?

    “So… you’re trying to be like Spiderman? Where he just got dumber and whinier every movie?”
    “Oh, hell no. If I ever get all emo like that, please just put a bullet in me.”

    Not only did it make me laugh out loud at work (bad juju), but it also perfectly summed up my feelings on the Spiderman movies.

    • sorry for the OffTopic-ness, but I just realized that Dead Six is the…what? Sequel(?) to the original story you did with Nightcrawler? Only specifics I remember was that hilarious moment where the 10 round california mags make them pause in a gun fight.

      Sorry. Just looked up Dead Six and realized it was connected.

  9. Faster, slave! (Whip sound effect) More Michael Moore-face-punching, Jake Sullivan bone-crunching super-powered goodness! That said, yes, for goodness sake, I’ll check out the next Christmas Noun story!

  10. BTW, is there a release date for MHI Nemesis yet?

  11. Something about replacing the reindeer with drones comes to mind.

    Perhaps the Spirit of Kwanza demands equal representation on the Holiday Council?

    Our Glorious Leader PBHO decides to put a 95% tax on Santa? (Surely to afford all those toys he must be in the 1%.) His attempts to enforce the tax might be amusing – IRS agents being dropped off by ice-pentrating submarines…

  12. Why are you asking for requests? You already came up with the idea last year: Christmas Draculas!

  13. One more thing. Maybe a guest appearance from Tom Stranger?

  14. I have been severely disappointed by the lack of laser toting dinosaurs in the Christmas Noun series so far…

    http://www.dinoriders.com/

  15. Noun-fall…..with special guest stars Judi Dench and Steven Segall….

  16. You know, I see either two Hollywood formula that work here: first, Tim Jr. is captured/killed by the forces of the Michael Moore – Obama vampiric army and Tim must use the power of the Christmas Noun to rescue/avenge him. The other option is the staple of all series that have gone on too long: a prequel! Follow Tim’s grandfather in his prime as he battles the armies of the anti-capitalistic hippie stoner zombies of the 70′s.

  17. christmas noun: santas slay takes a dive off the fiscal cliff. its brutal. its gory. theres wrapping paper everywhere

  18. After killing off the joy Twinkies brought to the masses the Big Union Boss (who is in no way in the 1% despite how much extortion money he takes from his union members so they can make a paycheck) decides the only way to regain his slipping power (despite buying 2 presidential elections) in the rust belt is to capture the Christmas Noun and use it’s power to ….

    Tim has to battle past minions (with head mounted lasers) and a dinosaur (who accidentally ends up with a laser that scares it as much as it does everyone else in the room) to recapture the Noun, and possibly rescue Sally or her hotter younger sister.

    and then it is revealed the B.U.B. is actually (leaning Soros, but could be frosty again)…

    Just fill in the blanks (it practically writes itself over this framework) and find a way to thank me later.

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