There I go, offending people again…

So after my election day blog post, I received this comment. I started typing a response, but it got really big so I just made it a new post. I got this from Bob:

Mr. Correia,

I do get tired of this. I want you to know something. I’m a liberal, I’m a union guy, I’m a non-gun owner who believes in gun rights (but I love knives and edged weapons), and I’m a huge fan of your books. I have every one both in print and on Audible. Both the Monster Hunter books and the Grimnoir Chronicles books. I found Hard Magic on Audible, and sounded interesting. I drive a lot, so I love the audible stuff. I liked it so much I tried out MHI, even though it didn’t sound like my normal interest. I loved them.

I got Spellbound in hardback first, because it wasn’t available on Audible yet. But I got both Spellbound and MHV the day they came out on Audible, and bought them on Amazon right away too, to help you show high on the lists.

You are a very talented writer. The only other writer whose books I was so big a fan of was Robert A. Heinlein. I have all of his in print and audible, too. I sincerely love what you write! I’ll happily discuss it all with you, if you don’t believe it. I love the opening of MHI, where Owen discusses murdering his boss. About how he talks about having good dental at that job. In Hard Magic, where Faye calls the other traveler a “fat cow”. It’s hard to believe the same writer does the HMI and Grimnoir Chronicles books, although guns are the tie that binds. It was great when Owen got the girl of his dreams.

But I come here to keep up with what’s happening with you and your books, and I find that obviously you hate my guts. You hate both liberals and unions. I am a tool-and-die maker by trade, and I’ve made knives and swords for much of my life, although I don’t do so now. Most skilled craftsmen are union, and I think it’s a good thing.

But I don’t come here to argue politics with you. I don’t come here to change your mind. But I wonder – is my money not good enough for you?

Do you want me to stop buying and enjoying – and recommending your books (yes I have!). Why do you want to run off potential customers?

I’ve been a business owner. It’s never good for a business to insult their customer base. Sure, gun nuts and ultra-right wingers might be you best customer, but there’s a LOT of liberal gun nuts in unions.

And I don’t think that you are so damned well-known right now that you can write off customers. I remember some time back on the blog that you finally quit your day job.

I want you to be a famous and successful writer. I want you to be able to buy a big house someplace great and never have to worry about bills. But I’d also like to give you my hard-earned money without thinking you hate my guts because of who I voted for.

I could say more, but I won’t. TRUTHFULLY, if you and I sat down and I bought you a beer – and I would, I’m not a moocher, I’m a working man – I wouldn’t want to talk politics with you. I’d want to talk writing and characters and the worlds you create, and how you created them.


My response to Bob.

So, since I’m a conservative and an entertainer, I should just keep my mouth shut and not have an opinion because I might offend somebody? Uh… Hell no. Do conservatives write big letters to pretty much every single actor in Hollywood they disagree with, because I’ve seen a thousand times more hate and venom out of them about my side than anything you’ve ever read from me on this blog. So I call bullshit. Yes. This is America. I’m still allowed to say that.

Actually, I’ve still got my day job. Between it and the books I get to pay large sums of money in taxes. It is a great feeling to know that every book I write, the first act was written for the government. Between the two jobs I work about 60 hours a week, (down from 80 when I was in the gun business though!) but I’ll still take the time to type a response to you because you seem like a nice enough guy. And yes,  I also do have a great big house in the mountains that I built. I could afford to build it because I work my ass off, and I’ve lived my life without being in debt up to my eyeballs or making bad financial decisions.

Your money is great. Thank you for purchasing my books. I spend several hundred hours writing a book. If you got a paperback, you give me $8, of which I see less than a dollar in royalties and then I give a third of that to the government, (so yeah, your state government probably made more in sales tax on that paperback than I took home) and in exchange I entertained you for probably 5-12 hours. Repeat a couple hundred thousand times and now we’re talking some real money.

Like any other person who engages in commerce, I love taking money in exchange for the service I provide to you.  Luckily, I live in America, so I am free to voice my opinion, and you are free to not purchase my product (unless it is health insurance, because then it should be mandatory, obviously). The dopiest drug addled rock star or dimwitted starlet in Hollywood can voice their political opinions too. Good for them.

When I was an accountant or a gun monger, I was every bit as opinionated as I am now. I’ll be damned if I ever shut up because I might offend somebody. Screw that. I’m an American. Thank God.

I don’t give a shit what my plumber’s opinion is on healthcare, nor do I care about the opinion of the guy that puts the fries on my plate about NAFTA. I just care if they can fix the toilet or make a good burger. Save the boycott threats. They get old and I get one or two every time I dare post an opinion. (usually from people who haven’t ever read me, so you’re special there). Luckily, I’m an American, ergo, I don’t care. For every reader I’ve offended, I’ve gained two or three others who are happy that my books aren’t heavy handed message fic beating them over the head about dying polar bears or whatever the latest liberal cause de jour is.

So you say that you’re not a moocher, Bob? I don’t think I ever said that every single person that voted for Obama was a moocher… I actually think the democrats have built a winning combination of idealists who despite all evidence to the contrary think the government can actually make problems better, Marxist assholes, people who believe whatever the narrative is on TV, people who can’t think about anything more complex than a Facebook meme, dead and imaginary voters, and moochers.

To be fair though, the republican party is divided up between big government goons, democrats who think they are republicans, people who want the government to be our dad, people who think the government makes everything it touches turn to crap and who just want to be left alone, and libertarians who are smart enough to know that the most effective libertarian candidates in history have all been republicans.

You are probably a pretty well-meaning guy that doesn’t mind pulling the cart, but you voted for the moocher party. You voted for the party of bail outs, handouts, welfare, food stamps, government controlled healthcare, the Life of Julia, voting with your lady bits, racial quotas, Occupying Stuff, gun control, Obamaphones, and voter fraud, so I’m fresh out of pity if that hurts your feelings.

Got to digress for a minute… Yeah, about the voter fraud, really, Cleveland? You get 100% turn out in your inner city districts? I used to live in the inner city. I’m fairly certain you could hold a FREE all you can eat barbeque, with pony rides, a wet t-shirt contest featuring Playboy bunnies, and a Jay-Z/Led Zepplin/50 Cent/Kayne/Beyonce/Elvis/Sinatra/U2 concert, which handed out a free Obamaphone to every visitor, and you still wouldn’t get 100% turn out. That’s cool though, because Philly did even better, because after they threw out 70 of the court appointed observers, not only did their super record banana republic level turn out beat every possible expectation, they also voted 99% for Obama. But Colorado was not to be outdone, because they had ten democrat counties with over 100% turnout? That’s even better than Venezuela or Cuba! Bravo.

I’ll be honest. As an auditor I’m a little offended, because that is some ham fisted bullshit right there. Normally we have to at least do a little math and shuffle some papers to spot fraud, not just look at it and go “well, duh.” This is really irksome, when you look at the actual results of the election and realize that it would take only about half a million votes in total across three swing states to have changed the electoral college results…

Meanwhile, I voted for the party with some damn stupid elected officials in it, I’m talking absurd levels of stupid, but with a far higher ratio of people who can actually balance a check book. Are they perfect? Not even close. I’m not an idiot. But half our guys can at least do math while all of your guys are drawing stick figures in the check book, in crayon.

Yeah, and big L libertarians and Ron Pauloids, save it. Heard it. You comment in every thread. Yes, the republican party is just as bad, blah blah friggin’ blah, which is, once again, why the Libertarian party has accomplished jack and shit, ever, but  you can pat yourself on the back about your purity, while meanwhile the candidates that actually come closest to your beliefs have all been republicans from the Tea Party. Because at least they show up.

And while I’m thinking about it, thanks for all of the helpful advice from smug liberals on the internet, about how if the republican party would just change their position of (topic X) then they could like totally count on your vote next time… This is especially good advice consdiering that (topic X) is usually not something any republicans care about, but rather some media narrative talking point telling you guys about how god awful republicans are.  So yeah… Thanks for the advice, but no. Shut up.

So back to our letter from Bob. That’s just great that you like guns and you’re in the union. Because guess what, one day after the election, ONE FREAKING DAY, the Obama administration went back to the UN and said that they’re cool with bringing back up the the Global Resolution on Small Arms. Because hey, you support the 2nd Amendment right?  Which is why you can get behind the party that doesn’t give a crap about that right.

Oh, yeah, and same party that brought you Fast & Furious, an illegal gun smuggling operation with only one possible goal, to smear American gun owners to promote more gun control laws (sort of like the BATF memos said it was). This same operation was complicit in the death of two US federal agents and about 200 Mexicans, but that’s cool, because the guy you voted for used Executive Privilege to cover it up. You’re a gun guy. You said that’s okay. Right?

As for my opinion of the Unions, they were a great idea when you were in danger of being fed into deadly machinery, worked 16 hour days with child labor, got clubbed by Pinkertons, and couldn’t just quit your job. That was swell a hundred years ago, but times have changed, and now you belong to an entity that serves primarily as a method of involuntary dues collection to be funneled to the Democratic party. Since you don’t have to owe your soul to the company store, you can feel free to quit and go get another job if your current company sucks that bad.

My brother’s an electrician. He’s union. Has to be for what he does. He also hates that he gets zero say and they take his money to give to candidates that have diametrically opposed beliefs to his own. And I can also give you a couple hundred other union job fans of mine who you will hear the exact same thing from. I just took a book tour through the north east, and I think I heard the same variations of complaints at every dinner I went to.  I’ve got lots of union fans, and there are plenty of them who hate the fact that their dues go to support the moocher party. So save your sanctimony.

Tell me about how awesome unions are, while non-union power companies are being turned away from New York and New Jersey. Yes, because even though these people don’t have power or heat or fresh water and it is starting to snow WEEKS AFTER THE EVENT, but you’se guys didn’t pay the bosses so we don’t want your filthy non-unionized help. So, here we are in yet another place run entirely by democrats that can’t get its crap together in an emergency, gut don’t worry, the exit polls said that the voters thought Obama did an awesome job handling the storm, the way he flew up there, walked around for a day looking at flooded stuff, and then flew back out to go campaigning.

And you wonder why my last post talked about how I’d drastically overestimated the American people?

Naw, sorry, Bob. Fresh out of pity.

Also one day after the election, Yahoo News ran an article listing all of the exciting new ways Obama will raise taxes… Of course, they couldn’t bother to run that one week before. Oh, and remember that whole second debate bit about how we’re going to lower gas prices because of all this awesome sooper dooper drilling we’re going to do on federal lands? Yeah… About that the day after the election Ken Salazar killed that. Dead. Done. That will deprive my state of tens of thousands of jobs, but that’s cool, because those guys aren’t union. So screw them, right?

Here’ s the kicker, Bob. I don’t have strong political opinions because I’m a novelist. I have strong political opinions because I’m good at business. I’m good at MATH. You got offended when I talked about the moochers, but the productive simply can’t keep on paying for other people’s good times. It is going to end badly, because math doesn’t lie. We had our opportunity to apply the brakes (notice I didn’t say reverse it) but we weren’t grown up enough to do that. So now we’re screwed.

So if that means that my hatey-hate-hatey-hate mongery is simply too much for you to handle, and you can no longer read my books, well, shucks. I’ll just have to deal with it.

Christmas Anthology from Baen

Hey, look what I’m in, just in time for Christmas. :D

And just a reminder, anything you guys buy on Amazon after going through one of my links like the one above, I get a percentage for the refferal. Thing of it as a tip jar. :)

Congratulations, Obama voters

Bread and Circuses’ is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome.” – Robert Heinlein

Congratulations, Obama voters.

So it is done. My prediction was way off. That is what I get for overestimating Americans and their desire for free stuff and an all powerful government that can meet all of their wants. So congratulations. This time we can’t blame it on Obama being an empty slate to be filled with all your hopes and dreams. You treated a job interview like a popularity contest. This time you know exactly what you are asking for, and I’m sure you’ll get it.

Sure, we’re broke, and will be getting broker, but that’s cool. You said that our kids and grandkids can figure out how to pay our bill. You kicked the can down the road. You decided if we just tax the productive a bunch more, everything will be swell. Math be damned. Less people will pull the cart and more people can ride in it, and you can continue to bitch about the greed of the people pulling and somehow assume that the cart will just keep on rolling. We don’t need budgets, and all of these social programs you are so fond of will somehow stay solvent.

Even as you can watch Europe with your own eyes, and see where this sort of benevolent socialism will eventually lead us, you go happily onward into a debt crisis. Only there is nobody to bail us out, so I’m sure that will work out awesome.

You said you wanted your government controlled healthcare, so it will stay. Sure, now that we’ve seen what is actually in it, and everybody that has to work with the thing agrees that it is an absolute job killer, it is costing us a lot more than expected, and doesn’t do much of what was advertised, but facts don’t matter, just good intentions. Working 30 hours a week instead of 40 will become the new normal.

The media will continue to not do its job, and will keep on ignoring all the scandals and law breaking from the democrats. Fast and Furious? What Fast & Furious? NBC gave it all of 8 seconds of coverage. Benghazi? Nothing to see there. Move along. Anybody who does report about stuff which falls outside of your approved narrative can safely be dismissed as a crank.

For all the ultra lefties, Obama will continue to do all of the stuff you bitched about George Bush doing, drone strikes, imprisoning people without trial, only far more. But somehow it is okay when he does it. You just said so.  For you guys, just remember, at least if there was a republican in office, the media would actually report this sort of thing. So have fun with that.

Overall, the red states got redder, and the blue states got bluer, and big urban areas won the swing states. We’re living in a country with irreconcilable differences and two competing philosophies that literally have no middle ground. One side wants a smaller government and wants to be left alone, the other side wants a bigger government that can do everything. Compromise inevitably means we’ll make government bigger, just not as big as the left wants. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And the red states keep getting redder and angrier, and the blue states keep getting bluer and angrier, and America as a whole gets poorer and weaker.

So to close, congratulations, Obama voters. I’m sure this will work out great for you. When we revisit this in a few years and everything is limping along, broken, tired, poorer, and somehow less than we could be, I’m sure it will still be someone else’s fault, and you’ll vote again for whoever promises to pay for your good time.

I’m up for another prestigious award (I think)

I’m not sure if I’m a finalist for another literary award, because I found this on Google, and used an internet translator.

finalists for the 2012 Julia Verlanger are known:

Ophélie BRUNEAU -  Et pour quelques GigaHertz de plus – Ad Astra. Ophélie Bruneau – And a few more gigahertz – Ad Astra.
Laurent GENEFORT – Points chauds – le Bélial Laurent GENEFORT – Hotspots – the Belial
Gail CARRIGER – Le Protectorat de l’Ombrelle – Orbit Gail Carriger – The Parasol Protectorate – Orbit
Jasper FFORDE – La Route de Haut Safran – Fleuve Noir Jasper Fforde – The Road to High Saffron – Black River
Larry CORREIA – Magie brute – L’Atalante Larry Correia – gross magic – L’Atalante

Laurence SUHNER – Vestiges – L’Atalante Laurence SUHNER – Remains – L’Atalante

On félicite bien fort notre Opéhlie nationale, nous sommes fiers d’elle, et on remercie le jury. We congratulate our very strong national Opéhlie, we are proud of it, and we thank the jury. On souhaite également bonne chance aux autres candidats et notamment, parmi nos chouchous, Genefort bien sûr, Larry Correia of course, pour son fabuleux Magie Brute . We also wish good luck to the other candidates, including, among our favorites, Genefort course, Larry Correia of course, for its fabulous Magic Brute .
Well how about that? For being a pulp guy I sure do keep getting nominated for stuff. But don’t worry, because as is pointed out by my critics, Larry Correia isn’t a REAL writer. :p

PJ Media asks sci-fi writers to predict the political future.

Not tomorrow’s political future (my prediction, Romney wins with 279 electoral votes, and Republicans get to 51 in the Senate) but 20 years into the future. PJM interviewed me, Sarah Hoyt, Tom Kratman, and Kate Paulk.  Pretty good stuff. And once again, I’m the optimist. :)

Kickstarter Update: 3 Hours Remaining

175% funded, $78,879, 788 backers.

We are only like $1,100 from our last stretch goal, which is another adventure to be added for free to everybody’s supplamental PDFs. Can we do it?  I think we can, simply because you guys are just that badass. :D

Kickstarter Update: Only 12 HOURS TO GO!

This is it everybody, the Final Countdown. (insert awesome 80′s music here!)

170% funded, $76,753 raised, and 761 backers.

So this is it, the final push. You guys have been amazing. You’ve funded the heck out of this project and told your friends. It is really appreciated. We’re down to the wire, but if we hit $80K we will add another adventure to the additional PDF.

Speaking of that, in addition to the big awesome book, we’ve got MHI dice, additional patches, additional PDFs of bad guys and more adventures, and all sorts of coolness. You can even design your own character to go into the supplement. So to celebrate, here is a Monster Hunter International ballad. Listen. Because it is awesome.


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