I will admit, I am looking forward to tonight. It is all up to Joe Biden to save the day. Joe Biden has been training hard. Joe Biden is gonna’ come out swinging! Joe Biden will do cartoon voices! Joe Biden once wrestled a bear! And WON! Joe Biden graduated top of his law school class, top of his college class, top of his space marine class, and was voted most likely to overdose on cough syrup! Joe Biden once shoved twenty seven pieces of chalk up a single nostril. Joe Biden played college football. Joe Biden played DEATH BALL. Joe Biden has never plagarized anyone. Joe Biden wants to raise your taxes by a trillion dollars because that is more fair. Joe Biden gets lap dances from biker chicks because he can! Joe Biden is banned from 7-11. Joe Biden is going to go down to Mexico and stay low until the heat blows over.
I read an article on the Huffington Post about how Joe Biden is going to surprise everyone with his badassitude tonight. (why yes, I do read the HuffPo. You’ve got to know your enemy. Which is really ironic, since liberal douches that come on here to argue with me always call me a Fox news drone). The article was sure Joe would dominate, and used examples from his past to show what a masterdebator Joe is… Sadly, the most recent example they had was from 1987 where Biden and Ted Kennedy tag teamed Robert Bork.
So… Your evidence for Joe’s awesome mental abilities comes from when I was in junior high school… Yes. Keep on drinking that Kool Aid. You know Joe is gonna come through for you! Joe Biden is gonna save you. Paul Ryan wants to PUT YA’LL BACK IN CHAINS!!!!
Obama dropped the ball so now only Joe Biden can save the day. Joe BIDEN! JOOOE BIIiiiDEN!!!