ADVERTISEMENT: Hard Magic mass market paperback out next week!

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=monshuntnati-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=1451638248

Give the gift of Correia this week with a paperback copy of Hard Magic. They fit in your pocket of your enormous cargo pants! Mass market paperbacks are the perfect present for your loved ones this Administrative Professionals Day (April 25th, or so my calender says…)

Cheaper than exotic cheese, capable of propping up even the wobbliest of table legs, use Hard Magic to change your oil, mow your lawn, mine for Bering Sea gold, or wrestle endangered pandas. Buy ten dozen copies today. Tell your friends! Tell your mom! Tell your parole officer!

And if you order now, we’ll throw in good feelings and world peace. Operators are standing by to take your order.

Testimonials!

“The mass market paperback of Hard Magic changed my life.” 

“Honey, why is there a porcupine in the dishwasher?”

“I had to put it somewhere, okay. Quit judging me.”

“Oh crap. It’s still alive?”

“Well, duh.”

Hard Magic is warmer than a Snuggly, funner than Floam, stickier than Mighty Putty, tastier than a puppy, and made it around the Top Gear track in one minute thirty seven seconds! The mass market paperback edition of Hard Magic chops, slices, waxes, buffes, stitches, cleans, steams, and picks up all of your pet hair and dander.

ORDER NOW!

But wait, there’s more!

MORE?!?

Hard Magic is perfect for building forts! Hard Magic makes a great safety flotation device (briefly). The mass market edition of Hard Magic doesn’t leave a sticky residue. And for only $7.99 is cheap enough to be used as a surgical implement! (do not use the mass market paperback of Hard Magic as a surgical implement).

MORE TESTIMONIALS!!!!

“As a Navy SEAL Astronaut Lawyer, I use the mass market edition of Hard Magic every day.” *

* paid actor is not actually a Navy SEAL Astronaut Lawyer.**

** by “paid” we mean with beer, and “actor” is actually a code word for street hobo***

***No street hobos were harmed in the making of this commercial. ****

**** okay, maybe one hobo. But we got the fire put out fairly quickly. Quit your crying. Walk it off.

Bored? Looking for something to do? Stuck in a third world country? You’re a Secret Service Agent? Well… If you had thought to purchase a copy of Hard Magic to read, you wouldn’t be going through a sex scandal over stiffing a Colombian hooker for $47, now would you?

“Yo soy una prostituta Colombiana, y apruebo este mensaje! Donde esta mi 47 dolares?”   

Act now and we will throw in one free week of free Stranger & Stranger Interdimensional Insurance (void in most realities).

Party like the GSA! It’s Hard Magic mass market paperback release week!

16 Responses

  1. Doing what I can to spread the word (s’more) but I have to say I absolutely HATE the Amazon description.

    “Twilight meets The Maltese Falcon.”

    That is so inaccurate and offensive I just don’t know who to go about stabbing.

  2. The Avengers meets The Big Sleep? I’ve always imagined Hard Magic as more of a superhero setting than a magic story.

    Why is it that government organizations are the only ones having fun?

  3. Was that commercial a stream of thought writing exercise? It sure read like one

  4. stiffing a Colombian hooker

    Heh, he said “stiffing” . Heh hehh hehhhh.

  5. loved this posting. I needed a good laugh. thanks. The paperback is already on pre order. i am looking forward to reading it.

  6. Speaking of “Hard Magic”

    Jake ought to be able to fly. He can remove the vast majority of his own density, and he can affect local gravity.

    The two of those = flying like superman.

    At one G laterally, he should accelerate very quickly to a terminal velocity of about 120 mph going belly button first in pancake mode, and about 250 – 300 mph headfirst and streamlined.

    Come to think of it, spandex would help tremendously for wind resistance, like a speedo swimsuit.

    Anyway, love your stuff. I’m getting a bunch as stocking stuffers.

  7. Float to the sky then dive toward objectives? he did it already with the blimp fight scene at the beginning. As a method for normal travel, it leaves a lot to desire. It serve well as a surprise attack, but fighting in the sky with other fly-capable ones like Travelers is a losing business.

  8. Just pre ordered one, can’ wait to read it. Greetings from Hungary !!! :)

  9. Can I apply it directly to my forehead?

  10. I couldnt read the article i was distracted by boobs

  11. Pre-ordered one already… just can’t wait! Nice picture!

  12. Anyone else want to see a Stranger & Stranger stories, maybe a book?

  13. [...] advertisement that really everything that needs to be said about why you should go buy this book. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/advertisement-hard-magic-mass-market-paperback-out-next…  Because I am always so in tune with current events, it was the first post that I had a hooker [...]

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